The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welcome to Miracles in Progress Sue, I have read your profile and am pleased that you ave decided to return to alanon in order to help you work through the situation in your family. The disease of alcoholism truly does affect each member of the family, so by working the program on this issue , I am sure you will find the clarity and wisdom you need. .
Not sure why your daughters are angry about your new boyfriend but in program you will be able to find the support and renewed tools to work toward an acceptable solution for all.
We have some new literature since you were here and have kept the old tried and true material Dive in an keep coming back
Welcome to MIP. I read your profile and am glad you reached out. I like what Betty said and hope you can find the strength to live the life you want despite the heartache of your daughters behaviors.
Welcome to the family Sue...come in sit down listen, share and practice. Good you're back to the program which also works for me and saves me tons of counseling fees. Others have their thoughts and feelings and choices and sometimes those are different than ours. Sometimes the Others are our family members so for me working toward mutual understanding and choice is the work to be done. Getting in the position of taking the place of a revered family member, often alcoholic or not isn't often a great endeavor as loyalties remain and that has happened with me also. Still "To thine own self be true" has been my guidepost regardless of the consequences. Might want to have a loving showdown with the girls to help them understand maybe ask them what they would do in your place...which they have no experience in (do they?) so there are lots of differences to speak nicely about. Ask them what their real issue is and ask them to be honest about it. That's how I do it just for experience. Time takes time and kill all your expectations so the chance of resentments get close to zero. Keep coming back...(((((hugs)))))
I just read your profile and I can feel the sadness you must be experiencing. I was wondering whether your daughters may think you are going to leave your assets to this boyfriend. They may understandably feel they "earned" the right to inherit everything due to all they went through growing up and may be resentful at the thought that an outsider could possibly inherit it. They may be concerned about your assets and therefore assume your boyfriend must be.
Other thoughts--are they governed by loyalty to their father, which may be mixed in with the above feelings? I wonder whether you have been able to sit down and learn what your daughters are feeling, beyond concerns your boyfriend wants to live off your assets. Finally, is there any "evidence" they may point to indicating your boyfriend is after your money? In my opinion, you have every right to move on and find happiness with another partner. If your two older daughters will not even talk to you, I am sorry for them because it sounds like they are giving up contact with a mother who loves them very much. When people cut off communication like that, it is very hurtful. I would suggest writing a letter to each of them, inviting them to work with you on restoring communication and your relationship. If they insist on remaining cut off, then this is a case for your relationship with God or your HP. I wish you continued happiness with your boyfriend and a path to peace and acceptance in this situation.
