|
|
New Member on vearge of intervention
(Preview)
This is my 1st post and I have fought this battle for year of ups and downs. The man I love most in this world is an alcoholic and I have finally realized without intervention I will loose him and may loose him in the intervention process anyway. Almost 3 years ago I broke every bottle of alcohol in our hom...
|
LovingHim
|
6
|
740
|
|
|
|
sad
(Preview)
Last night was a bad night. I have been dating a man for 4 and a half months. And last night after dinner we went to his house to watch a movie and 5 min after we got their a woman came ringing the doorbell and knocking like a mad woman. She said she had slept with him this weekend. He has a son and has custody ever...
|
texasgal
|
14
|
610
|
|
|
|
The new guy
(Preview)
my wife started drinking heavily! she would drink until she passed out! always around our 16yr old daughter, I talked and asked her to stop and get help! but she refused! I asked to leave and think things thru. no matter how hard I tried no matter how I pleaded for her to get help it just got worse! now she is...
|
Floyd
|
8
|
766
|
|
|
|
relapse
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am new to this board and new to this disease my 34 year old married son is a drug and alcohol addict that has been in recovery since november for the first time WE recently discovered he had a relapse.. covering it up quite well but the lies caught up with him. Hubby and went to our first al ano...
|
sweet potato
|
4
|
670
|
|
|
|
Newbie - Do you tell them!
(Preview)
It is no surprise to my husband that I hate his drinking! He will start in about 7pm with, your not talking to me because I am drinking! I only discuss alcohol when he is sober, but I joined the forum yesterday and have found a local chapter in my home town! Do I tell him I'm going??? I am looking for a coun...
|
LovingHim
|
3
|
486
|
|
|
|
How do you leave a dry drunk?
(Preview)
I just tried to end my relationship with my ah who is 80 days sober and is a dry drunk. God help me I tried and then when he started flipping out I backed down and told him I don't want to live like this anymore and that every 10 days he picks a fight. How do u do this? Does it have to end so badly? How do you do it when...
|
Helpangel
|
4
|
1140
|
|
|
|
I feel lost
(Preview)
Hi Everyone It's been a while since I have posted and this is really not about alcoholism or the problems it brought me but here go's. I'm anxious, lost and scared of things I can't control. My son is safe but I have been thinking about him getting out next year. My SO is retiring and the money will be cut...
|
Cathyinaz
|
15
|
649
|
|
|
|
One Day at a Time Feb 17th
(Preview)
Today's reading is all about courtesy and how a couples 'intense involvement' with each other and 'violent quarrels' can destroy what should be a 'sacred relationship' The reading reminds us that a simple thing like courtesy can be like magic, it can take 'the wind out of the sails of the attacker.'...
|
el-cee
|
1
|
301
|
|
|
|
detaching without losing hope or feeling guilty
(Preview)
Hi,I feel like the only way I can maintain joy is to give up and just stay away from this person long enough to stop aching and start living. ten years of roller coaster with my adult daughter has been exhausting and as I hear from yet another affected person (they always end up calling me) expressing conc...
|
christinek61
|
6
|
579
|
|
|
|
Progress I think
(Preview)
So I had my lovely day yesterday with family. It was so cold outside here in NY, we were walking fast to the restaurant. But not my A. A is so overweight and body is hurting so she was way back. First my brother walked with her and then I took a turn. I mean, it was below zero with the windchill. Fast forw...
|
Lyne
|
7
|
480
|
|
|
|
I'm so sad
(Preview)
This is my first post. My Mom is an alcoholic and has been all my life. She has had sporadic periods of sobriety over the years. Her cycle is to drink until disaster strikes, get into treatment, stay sober long enough to start earning some trust back and then start drinking secretly. I always find ou...
|
Exhausted33
|
3
|
418
|
|
|
|
Hope For Today Feb 17
(Preview)
Good Morning MIP: The first paragraph in today's reading is about negative attitudes. The example given is if you hear 9 compliments and 1 insult, the focus is put on the insult. It reminds me of how difficult is to just say 'thank you' when someone gives a compliment. I notice that for me I often eith...
|
yanksfan51
|
0
|
538
|
|
|
|
frustrated!
(Preview)
Hi, everyone! I'm new to this chat site but not to AlAnon--have been a grateful member for 3+ years and am happy to be here. Because of where I live, it has been hard to get to meetings, but I miss my AlAnon community and support and am so thankful for this venue. I'm writing today because I need help dealin...
|
tornadoj
|
6
|
2927
|
|
|
|
What? Am I an ACOA????????
(Preview)
Hi all,
Funny thing happened this past weekend..... My parents were down visiting, and as many a story's go, my mom and I can have friction from time to time. She is an ACOA, and was raise in a very abusive (every sort) home. The aftermath of which has left her with a lot of fear in her...
|
mastiff
|
11
|
1344
|
|
|
|
How do you help helpless children?
(Preview)
My sister is an alcoholic (never agreed to treatment) and her ex-husband is verbally abusive. Neither is better than the other. They have two children (both about 10 years old). The children are tossed back and forth between two unhappy houses and I can't stand to watch it any more. Today, the old...
|
Jeri Kat
|
5
|
7692
|
|
|
|
OMG dry drunk treatment awareness with child!
(Preview)
I realized something alarming today. My dry drunk husband of about 80 days sober was watching my daughter play on a snow hill as I was sitting the opposite direction. He stormed out the door and I followed he started yelling at my daughter that she kicked a boy in the head. My daughter lied and said she did...
|
Helpangel
|
6
|
496
|
|
|
|
fear mode
(Preview)
At the weekend i was told about a young woman, only 35, who is a chronic alcoholic. She has lost her job, her home, lives with her mother and is so bad she cant go up stairs to her room so sleeps on the couch. She is wetting herself and cant get up when she falls. It sounds really bad. I went into panic mode upon h...
|
el-cee
|
2
|
443
|
|
|
|
PAIN
(Preview)
THE PAST MONTH HAS BEEN HELL FOR ME. AH DRINKING ALMOST KILLED HIM. THERE WERE HOSPITAL STAYS,JAIL STAYS FOR DOMESTIC,ETC BANK ACCOUNTS NEARLY EMPTY THATS HIM FOR ME PAIN,ANQUISH EXHAUSTION ANGRER RESOLVE, TRYING TO FIQUIRE OUT WHETER TO LEAVE, TO FIND A LIVING SITUATION LESS EXPENSIVE CLOSER TO R...
|
YARNCRAZY
|
5
|
606
|
|
|
|
undepressed Valentine's Day!
(Preview)
For the first time in maybe 10-15 years, I was not depressed on Val. Day, because my marriage is so disappointing. Been there, done that! Thanks to Alanon, I had no expectations to be ruined! I was actually surprised that my A got me two very nice gifts! I have been practicing detachment, not being c...
|
Lyne
|
6
|
466
|
|
|
|
one day at a time feb 16th
(Preview)
Todays reading tells us that alcoholism is a disease. Not a 'respectable' disease with germs that we can accept but it is a disease. When we are able to accept it is a disease then we make progress. We dont repond to someone who is sick with frustration and rage so accepting alcoholism is a disease helps u...
|
el-cee
|
0
|
374
|
|
|
|
Ill...
(Preview)
Don't know if this a relapse of what was ailing us a couple weeks ago or something else. I didn't get any support at the VA and ended up in the trauma center. Headaches and dizziness and nausea and wild thinking and neck pains and more so I listened to my wife (lol) and she drove me to the TC. Funny how o...
|
Jerry F
|
7
|
444
|
|
|
|
one day at a time feb 14th
(Preview)
Happy valentines day! Todays reading is all about what it means to 'work' the program. It says we get out exactly what we put in. Working it means, 'attending meetings faithfully' read some alanon literature every day and apply what we learn to our daily lives. It also means sharing with others what we...
|
el-cee
|
3
|
801
|
|
|
|
Thank You
(Preview)
I just wanted to say thank you for being here. I feel like I have nowhere to turn and no one to express myself to at this hour ... or in general. Tonight, my wife was on her way to pick me up from work, and was in a car accident. Thank goodness she didn't hurt anyone. She did take out a rather large lamp post, fro...
|
Skorpi
|
8
|
565
|
|
|
|
one day at a time feb 15th
(Preview)
Todays reading is about gratitude shown by members offers hope to newcomers. It talks about how life changes and the 'world begins to reveal its beauty which was obscured by my worrying over my trouble' it didnt take me too long in alanon to start lifting my head when i walked and looking at the beauty th...
|
el-cee
|
3
|
426
|
|
|
|
Paula?
(Preview)
Where is our resident artist? Has anyone heard from her?
|
aquamom23
|
14
|
715
|
|
|
|
Sad for my girl.
(Preview)
OK so my daughter's father pays his court-ordered child support. To the exact cent, not a penny more or a penny less and that is IT. It's not much, it maybe pays for about 1/4 of her most essential and basic expenses, but it does help a bit. At the same time he has refused to EVER pay for anything beyond this c...
|
missmeliss
|
12
|
790
|
|
|
|
Valentine party
(Preview)
My valentine party went so well that I am so happy that my friends were there & especially the fellowship moved me. I never imagined that I would be able to share such a special time w close women friends. Each lady there had something special to share. I am so blessed
I didn't even have to cry because...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
2
|
357
|
|
|
|
Happy Valentine's Day
(Preview)
Just want to wish y'all a happy day! For some it is SAD. Single awareness day. I just hope no matter you situation married single or whatever you give yourself special care. I am going to soak my feet to start this new day.
|
Hoot Nanny
|
12
|
389
|
|
|
|
Starting the healing process properly.
(Preview)
Heading to al anima tomorrow at 130. Not sure what to expect and hope I don't turn up then walk away but I am going!
|
To be loved
|
14
|
636
|
|
|
|
dealing with ridiculous drivers!
(Preview)
This morning I took my daughter to school,she wanted to stop at McDonald's, it is a very busy intersection. I was in a hit and run accident a few months ago,a woman ran a red light and totaled my car,I spun clear around in the road, so I am more careful when I drive and sometimes I have anxiety now when I am i...
|
mjferg
|
7
|
686
|
|
|
|
Feeling blessed....
(Preview)
I don't share often anymore because my life is pretty darn good. But today I wanted to share how blessed I feel. My AH spends winters in Arizona...this is the third year...because of pain issues. We live in northern Minnesota and it can get bitterly cold here. Today, his sponsor stopped by my house and d...
|
Sweet Stanley
|
2
|
348
|
|
|
|
My daughters friend lives with us....
(Preview)
In August I let my 16 year olds best friend move in with us so she could go to a bigger high school with my kid. So 6 months later I am having issues with her that I haven't had with my kids. She is sneaky and causing a rift between my oldest and I. I find her to be a lot like my exAH, manipulative and behind the scen...
|
Breakingfree
|
7
|
606
|
|
|
|
One of my favorite concepts
(Preview)
I definitely have been on the helped side, the car I drive was given to me at a very low point in my life. I like thinking of myself as God's light sent to someone in need! Sometimes its just a smile someone needs.
-- Edited by likemyheart on Friday 13th of February 2015 10:21:12 AM
|
likemyheart
|
1
|
360
|
|
|
|
here I go again!
(Preview)
I hope I am not beating a dead horse. My valentine's party is tomorrow. I have invited 20 women. It is for all the ladies married or single. You can't bring a date but maybe a plus one. I am so excited. I think it will be fun w/ food, games & door prizes. Another thing that is included is things to be gratef...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
2
|
357
|
|
|
|
one day at a time reading 13th feb.
(Preview)
This reading is about how we ourselves contributed to the destruction in our homes. It says 'this was no vacuum we were living in' it wasnt only the alcoholic who caused damage, we reacted to and made things worse. It talks about how it can be difficult to face our own shortcomings but its easier to do t...
|
el-cee
|
4
|
520
|
|
|
|
Family is completely broken
(Preview)
Hello, was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. My family was once happy and fun, but in 2009 my adult daughter started having issues with alcohol. Her husband travels all the time and would leave her every week with two little boys, and she couldn't cope. Thankfully she has been a com...
|
joanlee13
|
5
|
6602
|
|
|
|
ACA Arizona Sept. Retreat Video
(Preview)
Hi Recovery Friends, We just received two registrations from Finland for our 2015 September Retreat. You too are invited. Watch our video and read more at www.aca-arizona.org Yours in service, ACA Arizona Retreat Committee
|
Arizona Intergroup
|
0
|
295
|
|
|
|
I want happiness!
(Preview)
|
John
|
5
|
500
|
|
|
|
Valentine Bags
(Preview)
I know this does not have a lot to do with recovery but it does!!!! I just finished the Valentine bags for my son's party tomorrow!!! It was so much fun helping him learn to write his name. I really know that I need this type of activities to stay sane !!!!! The greatest joy I have is when I am around childr...
|
Truth
|
6
|
358
|
|
|
|
Turned a corner
(Preview)
I feel like i turned a corner in my recovery on monday. I started to feel more like myself again. I am still grieving but that will take some time to get over. I started to feel happy and normal again. What a great feeling! I sent off my tax returns to my accountant and had taken some time off to do them. My b...
|
Mirandac
|
13
|
573
|
|
|
|
Good results from being assertive!!
(Preview)
I am so proud of my teenage daughter,she has been working at a fast food job for several months She is a hard worker and has been working very late every weekend.Well she got a new manager and she started having problems at work.This manager not only had her in tears, but the other young girls as well.Sh...
|
mjferg
|
2
|
457
|
|
|
|
first post
(Preview)
Hi. I'm looking for a place to heal. In the past month, I have finally heen able to admit that I am married to an alcoholic. Life seems pretty empty. I guess I'm looking for someone who understands.
|
Peace Always
|
8
|
444
|
|
|
|
Paralyzed by guilt
(Preview)
After 3 months of AH drinking off & on, I couldn't take it anymore. Even though he was going to 5 meetings a week, he continued to drink in various amounts depending on his work schedule. Six weeks ago, I told my AH (married for 21 years) that one of my 5 boundaries is that if he drinks, he has to stay at a m...
|
Jessmine
|
6
|
720
|
|
|
|
99% good but we are in that 1% now
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new. The reason I'm here is the 1% as says in the title. Bit of background, my partner has been sober for 11 years. He's amazing to me and the two kids, he desperately wants another so we have been taking no precautions and seeing what happens. He has never been violent or horrible to the kids in a...
|
To be loved
|
23
|
968
|
|
|
|
One Day at a Time Reading
(Preview)
Its a good one for me. When we get frustrated that the program ideas are not becoming automatic just yet. We might question ourselves, 'Why dont they penetrate my mind?' 'Why cant I absorb them?' It reminds us of the slogan 'Think' It suggests we stop all our talking and start listening. We can benef...
|
el-cee
|
8
|
1685
|
|
|
|
nredy
(Preview)
I need a break" I hope he goes to the gym. I spend too much time w him because it is not quality time anymore. He needs to find somewhere to go right now. & he talks too much & I need some mental health moments. I wish I could have a whole day!
|
Hoot Nanny
|
2
|
269
|
|
|
|
I got the message loud and clear...
(Preview)
I got the message from HP today loud and clear that he has an abundant life planned for me and to totally let go of all communication with ex-A even if we have a child. He told me let go of this toxic relationship ... No boundaries, no communication, no contact. No fear, no guilt, no obligation.... The only...
|
Truth
|
7
|
599
|
|
|
|
I do not need hysterics!!!
(Preview)
Life is good right now in many, many ways. Ex landlady is a little blip however. You might remember I had hoped we would be friends in some capacity, once I had moved out? Well sound the buzzer, I got that one wrong. I think I have explained this before but to live in a room in her house i paid an agreed amount t...
|
missmeliss
|
7
|
583
|
|
|
|
Finding the courage to leave a sick relationship
(Preview)
After being emotionally beaten up again today and treated like the enemy yesterday by my A boyfriend I know in my heart I have to get out of this sick relationship. 12 1/2 years with him and I am feeling so broken and torn apart that I don't think I can heal being with him even though he's in therapy working...
|
Holly09
|
10
|
2872
|
|
|
|
defects of character and offensive behavior
(Preview)
I am examining steps 4 and on, recall two explanations previously offered to me, and am confused. My former group therapist, 40 years in AA, assured me that feeling bad for having committed an offense was not required, or even preferable. Merely wishing that one had acted differently was sufficien...
|
drywit44
|
1
|
5945
|
|
|
|
Numb to it all..
(Preview)
Hi I've read these boards for quite a long time and taken a lot of advice and comfort from them. I have been married to my husband 28 years and he was always a big social drinker, leaving me home with 4 kids at weekends, staying out till 4am etc etc., causing the usual rows and problems you would expect. Abo...
|
Andy1969
|
5
|
591
|
|
|
|
Just Needed to Share
(Preview)
This just has to be test from my hp I just know it lol. I applied for a healthcare related job last week but had not thoroughly researched before sending my application. It seems addiction is trending and my interview is with someone in the medical professional who is offering an alternative to our 12 s...
|
tiredtonite
|
6
|
645
|
|
|
|
my marriage
(Preview)
It has been really bad for some time now. Last night I was character assinated. I am to blame for him becoming stressed out according to him. He has a choice & made a poor one. So off he went to sleep. I called the crisis line & then went to sleep.With help of God the tools I made it through another nig...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
7
|
383
|
|
|
|
Moving day today! Expectations issue, too
(Preview)
The movers are coming in an hour. I have most of my stuff at the new house but tonight will be our first night over there....dog included, lol. I have no idea what my future holds but I am working through a lot of fear and, of course, exhaustion right now. It's been a long two weeks and I'm ready for them to...
|
andromeda
|
17
|
570
|
|
|
|
Awareness of the dry drunk?
(Preview)
My ah is about 70 days sober and we have been getting along well which seems to be a cycle for us. I have noticed that their is a cycle where we get along, he gets more and more moody, then the verbal bash comes and then we have recovery and then good again. It seems to be a two to three week cycle. Example is toni...
|
Helpangel
|
12
|
623
|
|
|
|
Thursday AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST)
(Preview)
THURSDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Detachment, Self-Awareness, and Love. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org,...
|
ryanhearted
|
0
|
274
|
|
|
|
February 11 One Day at a Time
(Preview)
In summary the daily reader talks about the First step and admitting we are powerless over our alcoholics. For me this is so true having been raised by them and marrying them, I tried to control, manage and enable them all. I wanted them to change and tried with all my might, but ended up a miserable and sa...
|
Breakingfree
|
2
|
463
|
|
|
|
just enjoying life
(Preview)
I haven't posted in a while,but I just realized I haven't been obsessing on anything,I haven't had any drama. I am realizing that most of the things I have wasted time obsessing over are things I can't change anyway.I have been feeling very different, almost like I have an empty spot in my head that I ca...
|
mjferg
|
7
|
436
|
|
|
|
why I am still here(why I can't stay away)
(Preview)
Simply put: why I am still here? I was lost awhile ago. I wasn't sleeping well. I wasn't miserable. I still had a positive state of mind. I was able to go anywhere & do anything. I am a work in progress. You all know my story. I know that over 29 years ago in 1986 I found this program. I wasn't ready at the ti...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
10
|
611
|
|
|
|
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
(Preview)
i HAVE JUST BEEN CALLED AWAY TO THE DENTIST FOR A FLAGGED APPOINTMENT AND I AM UNABLE TO CHAIR THIS MORNING'S MEETING. I HAVE ASKED FOR ANOTHER CHAIR TO FILL IN FOR ME IS IT IS POSSIBLE AT THIS LATE DATE. SO SORRY FOR THIS INCONVENIENCE TO EVERYONE. SHIMO/AKA JERI
|
shimo
|
0
|
261
|
|