The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting, though I've been browsing and reading for a few weeks now, and decided it was finally time to start taking part.
My boyfriend of 6 months is an alcoholic. He went to a rehab clinic 6 or 7 years ago, and was sober for less than a year before relapsing. Since we've been together, I've tolerated his occasional drinking, which has become increasingly more frequent due to his seasonal depression. A week ago, I let him talk me into going out to a bar and having a few drinks- he'd already been drinking at home- and, in short, the night did not end well. After getting thrown out of the bar, he made some suicidal threats and then ran off, leaving me alone in the city at 2 am, I called the cops, who brought him home. He refused to let them take him to the hospital, but promised he'd get help. That more or less brings us up to speed now. He's gone to a few meetings- his first one was actually with my dad, who's a dry alcoholic, and has started re-reading the Big Book. I figured to be supportive, I should start looking into Alanon to get advice on how to cope with this and how to help him.
Alanon face to face meetings are great. They teach you useful tools
On how to cope with alcoholism. Loving detachment and good boundaries
Are just two of them.
What you really learn in alanon is how to take care of yourself in spite
Of alcoholism. We get as sick as they are but in a different way. Alanon
Is for us, AA is for them.
We keep the focus on us and how to heal us and grow despite the
Alcoholic. You learn the art of self care, self love and self
Acceptance. It is a me program. The alcoholic is your qualifier.
Your higher power comes first then you next and then others.
It takes awhile to get the hang of it. Just go and listen,learn
And absorb the wisdom. You need not speak if you do not want
To. I did not for quite awhile that is fine. Most new people just
Listen and some just cry thats fine its what happens.
Welcome havingablast I am glad you found us and reached out. Living with the disease of alcoholism is extremely difficult ant we cannot do it alone. Breaking the isolations caused by sharing a life with an alcoholic is extremely important to regaining mental health and support. Alcoholism is a progressive chronic diseases that can be arrested but not cured.
We who live with the disease require a program of recovery because of the negative tools we develop to cope with an insane environment that we find ourselves in. In alanon I was given healthy tools to live by I was asked to focus on myself, find my idea of a Power greater than myself and begin to believe, live one day at a time and stop reacting. I then started to act and respond to situations and not react so that I found a huge difference in my interactions.
It is telling for me that your boy friend and your dad are alcoholic because after I was able to get still and reflect on how I was raised I came to understand that the fatal disease of alcoholism was for me natural and genetic. What is most different for me today is that along with the disease I now have the programs of recovery to live with. The programs of Al-Anon and AA are what insure my peace of mind, serenity and sobriety. On a daily basis the program and MIP are a natural part of my life. Keep coming back cause this works when you work it. (((((hugs)))))
