Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

4 years ago the A was working someplace (that was in the days he was working). He met a little beagle dog ( agirl) that had been abandoned. He said that it was for him love at first sight. He took one look at her and he was a goner. He brought her home one night, she was such a state, thin, scared, she had an in...

serendipity · serendipity

I am so very sorry if my last post to my ex's sponsers offended anyone. The co-dependent in me has been thinking that I might have hurt some feelings but that was not at all my intention. I mean, it was my intention to hurt ex's sponser's feelings with what I said. But I was saying it here where they will neve...

stormie · stormie

Hello: I posted a while back to introduce myself. Sorry - I can't remember how long ago - perhaps 3 weeks or less. I read the posts frequently in hopes of coming across one that addresses my current situation. My AH went into a 30-day rehab around 4 months ago. I have been separated from him for 5 months...

Shamu89 · Shamu89

Sorry if this is too long, but I'm not sure where to go with this, so I'll just lay it all out as best I can. My aunt was a regular pot smoker for several years, and recently had to give it up due to being arrested and convicted for possesion with intent. She was a successful business owner, but the business...

Jen · Jen

My home group meeting and an AA meeting were aparently started by an AA/Al-Anon couple. She(alanon) has recently been unable to attend due to a new work schedule, but he is still running the AA meeting. Our Alanon group has now finally been registered with WSO, but we are starting to get interference f...

Gotta_Vent · Gotta_Vent

No need to respond - just gotta vent: I AM SO SICK OF THE SMELL OF BEER!!!!!!!! Thank-you. J

maresie · maresie

This weekend when I was in bed nursing my flu I watched a film called Owning Mahoney about a compulsive gambler starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Minnie Driver plays his girlfriend. I saw so much of me in the girlfriend. I really do not want to see it but I have to put it out there that this is my behavio...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I applied for a part-time job and it did not work out. I have been looking for a different full-time job with a higher salary, but haven't seen any. I figured most companies don't hire during the holidays. Something told me to look at a State job, so I did just that and stumbled upon a job that...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm alive, thanks for all the concern! All my kids and I have been sick for the past week plus my youngest turned 6 yesterday and I have been working (with pharmaceutical enhancement) to get enough cash in for the birthday and bills. So, it's been busy times for me lately and today is the first day I have...

round3 · round3

Brief background: A bf currently living overseas, relapses over Thanksgiving. Contacts me two weeks later (this past weekend) to tell me he's getting help and realizes that he can't be in a relationship. Really needs to take care of himself. Progam. All that. This is a man I've know (off and o...

acaporali · acaporali

Well, it was a good weekend! over 60 hours sober so far! This is great news and I am excited. But I am having a hard time trusting him! Everytime he goes to buy cigarettes, or gets gas, or goes to a friends, I feel as though he cheated on me. I am catching myself looking in all his hiding places to see if he bough...

maresie · maresie

In some ways living in the crazy house I am currenlty living in is a great great test of my previous over involvement. One of my room mates just lost his job. He's not looking for another. He put in one applicaiton and says he is going to wait around and see if that works. In the past I would be on top of someon...

Chetch · Chetch

In the last 2 months my AH has spent a week in a locked down detox facility, gotten a DUI, for which he has until 12/19 to get in a Court ordered alcohol tratment program. Last night we went to my office XMas party - very small office, only about 10 people. My boss had told me before hand that my AH was not wel...

chick29 · chick29

Well just as I thought I was getting on with things, life was going pretty ok, managing my work, college and the house I did not feel the best but was getting there. Then crash bang wallop the chaos called my aboyf rings up! I had been doing of and the meetings we had were actually fun. I did not have any expec...

optimistundone · optimistundone

My H was addicted to vicodine for 2 years. It was hell. He literally went to work and slept for the last year. I was pregnant with our second. I couldn't get him to take out the trash, screw in a light bulb, nothing. The last 6 months of the addiciton he would run out of his prescription after 2 weeks...

maresie · maresie

I have spent much of the weekend in bed because I felt flu like. I cant say I ever really got to take care of myself around the A. If I ever was sick he always went into a huge sulk and he went out of his way to ignore me and my needs. So for me it is something of a luxury to be able to rest rest and rest. My place is not...

serendipity · serendipity

You ok?

ddub · ddub

I don't know what to think or how to feel so I'll just let the swirl of thoughts out and see if I figure it out so I can get some sleep. If I can't figure it out maybe someone here can point me in one direction or another with their esh. I think it has been a run of events good, bad and dissapointing that have f...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Got a call from one of my ah's 2 best friends tonight. He was just calling to check in and see how things are going. This is one of the guys my ah goes on fishing trips with. They always drank beer together. The difference being his buddies are not alcoholics and are devoted family men. They know the scoo...

round3 · round3

Well....it's happened. My A bf (who currently lives overseas) just completed a year of sobriety in November, then relapsed over Thanksgiving. He dropped out on me completely and I, of course, panicked (see my earlier posts). He finally emailed me earlier this week to tell me he was okay, and woul...

gknee · gknee

HI all- forgive me in advance for a long post. I am test driving some thoughts on y'all. so, My A is back using- after 4 months of being AA poster child- he doesn't want to go to any meetings. just wants to stare at the tv, not talk. I can't freaking stand it. I have been going to overeaters anonymous sinc...

dawnie k · dawnie k

I am so relieved to see that I am not alone. I would appreciate any tips you might have on staying focused on my life while being supportive of my A (if he chooses to stay in this program). I have a hard time saying no to people in need, and I tend to worry about their problems as if they were my own. I reali...

justme11 · justme11

hi everyone...im so confused...i am new here and to alanon...just needing some feedback let me know if im totally overanalyzing things...i have all week not mentioned my ah drinking to him...which is amazing in itself i think for me! well last night he went out to the bar..i just casually said ok and h...

Fifi · Fifi

I have not written in ages. Just wanted to share my thanks and memories and experiences with you today. One year ago today my addicted BF went to detox and then rehab and has not drank/used since. It was just days from now a year ago that his counselor at detox said to me to look for alanon meetings on li...

ally · ally

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2ErypIapyw&feature=relatedH...

ddub · ddub

Just wondered if this is one of those common traits for al anoners or just me? I hate going to sleep, love sleeping but avoid, procrastinate and do anything to keep my mind focused on this board, sollataire,etc. to not go to bed. Of corse the results are sleeping some more during the day and getting noth...

ashleymarie · ashleymarie

So this is my first time posting here. I just recently found all of the Al Anon resources on the web. I have children (5) and work full time so I am pretty unable to attend conventional meetings. Me and my husband have been married for 10 years. He is an alcoholic and has been to rehab about 3 years ago. ...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Just an update for my online friends. My AH went into rehab last week,after losing his job.Got home on Wed.Had an appt w a halfway/recovery house on Thur.And he checked in today.Hes unsure of everything.But he said it felt like a huge burden was lifted off of him when he decided to go.This is a first fo...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...for it would have been my mother's birthday and I miss her so. It just does not seem to get any better either as the time passes (3 years this year). My twin sister, whom I have written to numerously does NOT answer my letters and has done just what my mother predicted - cut me off completely. The last t...

debilyn · debilyn

HI, Woke up sick, got myself better and came in here. Now have two Basset warmers up here. I think they love my feather bed and comforters better than me. that is ok, they really do keep me warm.... Life sure is hard eh?I don't feel mine is any harder than anyone elses. Many of you could relate to debilyns pa...

maresie · maresie

I am facing a very very lonely holiday season. One thing I am trying to do in it is plan for the future. My worst scenario is that I have to stay living where I am for 2 years, rebuild my credit and really really just dig deep to find resources. That means virtually living out of one room which I am now. If the...

maresie · maresie

In recent weeks I've established relaitonships with two friends. One was a friend I met in an online group who had many many similar issues. We were in contact daily. We really liked each other. I had great hope that this relationship was going to be supportive. The other was a woman who lives in the s...

lilms · lilms

(((((Friends)))))) I posted last week about The A in my life. She had almost died from ingesting god knows how much alcohol. She got out of hospital yesterday after 11 days. She is attending meetings twice a day. None of this is new. I had a reply to my post from a lovely lady that stated I had been arou...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((((friends)))))))))) My son is has to appear along with his attorney, before the Board of Pharmacy tomorrow. It is a preliminary hearing in an affort to get his Pharmacist's license back. He has worked so hard and is doing so well in his recovery. He feels he deserves to have his license back...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Why does it feel so good to blame? Can someone explain the psychology of this? Can someone explain why it feels so good to do this (even know I know it is not the right thing to do). I feel like it is almost intoxicating and therefore hard to avoid some days.

barisax · barisax

I posted this in response to the "Acceptance" thread but I realized it's really a new topic so I'm starting one... --------------- When I sought a therapist - at the beginnings of my divorce - it was strictly for myself, not to try and save the marriage. I looked for a psychologist rather th...

java · java

Christmas is a time of year I have come to dread. I try to be thankful for what I have, but it is so little. We will not have enough money for Christmas presents this year, but I was trying to put up a small tree and my 10 year old daughter was devestated that we weren't putting up the big tree this year. There is...

dawnie k · dawnie k

Hello. everyone. I am here because I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. I suspected he might have a problem with drinking, but I didn't know it was so severe. He said from the beginning that he liked to have his beers, one or two a day. But I noticed him running to the store for som...

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know I left the A with thousands in debt. He in essence stole my truck out from under me and try as I might I could not get any legal remedy on it. For the last 6 months I have been trying to pay down my bills. I have now got two outstanding bills that I have not yet got around to reconciling. Everyth...

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

My BF A has been in the ICU now for almost 2 weeks and I just got an update telling me that IF he makes it out alive his brain will not function as it should and he will not be able to hold down a job or live alone. I am having a really hard time processing this information. It has litterally made me sick to my sto...

Chetch · Chetch

My A had court last night and I insisted on going with him, as otherwise he wouldn't tell me what happened. Since he is a big shot attorney (he thinks) and knows the judge, the judge gave him until 12/19 to get enrolled in an alchohol treatment program. I doubt he will - he thinks since he is an attorney he...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH is sitting in the car, in the dark, with a beer in a paper bag. The poor dog is in the back seat because AH pretends like he is walking the dog every night. I just think, how sad. He would rather sit in the car in the driveway in the middle of a storm than go to bed with the rest of the family. He does this every n...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Background: Ah and I have been separated for 7 mos now, but only now is he working a program and are we acting separated. We've been married for 18 yrs, and rarely took family vacations. His work was always too important and we did not make it a priority. He had plenty of fishing trips with his buddies. He c...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

How do we "do" the 7th tradition here on this board?!

lilms · lilms

Well, we are at 14 days of being dry and I believe she has gone stark raving sober and is going to drive us stark raving mad. As we are not allowed to tie her up or muzzle her, lmbo, we are just keeping on. Really I am not complaining (much). I would rather see this than what I saw in the emergency room two week...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Feeling depressed, overwhelmed. Time to turn everything over, take step one again and again...discouraged about how hard things feel right now. I cannot quite put my finger on it. My A seemed to be doing Ok for a few months but now is back to square one. I can tell because he accrues lots of expensive o...

debilyn · debilyn

I am so grateful for Alanon. I learn from everyone,am humbled by everyone sharing. Many years of Al Anon has kept me still putting one foot in front of the other. Now I am having a horrible time. My A left a year plus ago, when he became so sick, that all he wanted was a place to use and be taken care of,enable...

maresie2 · maresie2

About 5 years ago I read a book on People pleasing by Harriett Braiker (my apologies if I am not supposed to mention non al anon books). I was absolutely flabbergasted. I could see clearly I was a people pleaser but I was also in denial. I would people please myself into positions where I was really ang...

acaporali · acaporali

Well, today is the day! My husband decided today is the day he is quitting drinking! I am trying to be supportive and have positive attitude, but it is hard, will he actually quit this time??? To many times of oh I am quitting this day!!! However, this time he has joined AA. So hopefully yes today is the day...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

what do you do when your A sends you bullying, dismissive, sarcastic emails? Ignore them?

ChicknLittle · ChicknLittle

Hi y'all, I was on here under the name LisaF, but only posted a couple of times... I'm sorry, this is gonna be a long ramble probably (my posts usually are lol) but I have so much going through my mind right now and I just can't get my mind to slow down... I don't really know much about alanon... I went to a co...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am in a work situation that is very very trying for me. Normally I would totally melt under this kind of stuaiton. I always has teh A to fall back on to a certain extent before. He never listened to me ever about any of my issues. At the same time he was "there" as a physical presence and to some ex...

chick29 · chick29

Well I have really been struggling, as in stress at work, feeling down and my Aboyf going back to his own place. However we are both appreciating the space and I am not there to take his bad mood swings. He is struggling so am I, but I'm pleased to say the time we have spent tog has been really enjoyable and I a...

maresie2 · maresie2

2 years ago when I was brainstorming how I needed to leave the A, one of my failing blocks was that I simply could not accept reality. I wanted the A to change. I stood on my head to make him change. He did change of course, he got much much worse. Now I am making a plan A, B, C about the future I still don't like r...

Jill · Jill

I had already decided against gifts this year. I'm buying livestock in people's names. They're getting a picture of a critter given to someone whose life will be so much better for this. Just that decision has brought me such peace - now the benefits multiply as I have free time otherwise spent in the in...

Chetch · Chetch

My AH casually announced to me last night that he has to go to Court tomorrow and the Judge wants him to bring proof that he is in an alcohol treatment program. Of course he can't do that because he's still looking for that 6 week program that will give him a certificate saying he is no longer an A. He had pro...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...got to feel good about this as I think I am experiencing a breakthrough from the brick wall I seem to have come up again just lately; and it is all because I have friends here to talk to, who listen and them discuss and share their experiences and what has worked for them [and sometimes what has NOT worke...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I heard from a girlfriend I talked to on the phone today that the first big snow storm of the season was hitting back home. So, I texted my AH "snow?" and got nothing back. I know I cannot control him in any way but what is so hard about responding to something as pure and simple as this? What doe...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, When will I learn to shut my mouth and not react? I had a tough week. It started with a coworker calling me a liar. Then another coworker flipped me off, missed a meeting. So by Friday I was carrying all those victim/resentments with me. In walks the President and we talk. I complained about...

Notthisagain · Notthisagain

Hi there, I am a bit confused and unsure if I am even on the right site. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, but is addicted to Vicoden and Soma, here's the kicker.. he gets the script filled (very legally by the way) once a month for his "back Pain" and within 7 days has consumed all the...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	beagle love (Preview) 4 years ago the A was working someplace (that was in the days he was working). He met a little beagle dog ( agirl) that had been abandoned. He said that it was for him love at first sight. He took one look at her and he was a goner. He brought her home one night, she was such a state, thin, scared, she had an in...	maresie	6	638	Dec 12, 2007 by Diva
	My meeting last night (and apology) (Preview) I am so very sorry if my last post to my ex's sponsers offended anyone. The co-dependent in me has been thinking that I might have hurt some feelings but that was not at all my intention. I mean, it was my intention to hurt ex's sponser's feelings with what I said. But I was saying it here where they will neve...	serendipity	6	830	Dec 12, 2007 by Jean4444
	Apprehensive About Trying Again w/AH (Preview) Hello: I posted a while back to introduce myself. Sorry - I can't remember how long ago - perhaps 3 weeks or less. I read the posts frequently in hopes of coming across one that addresses my current situation. My AH went into a 30-day rehab around 4 months ago. I have been separated from him for 5 months...	stormie	5	574	Dec 12, 2007 by Loupiness
	Looking for a place to start (Preview) Sorry if this is too long, but I'm not sure where to go with this, so I'll just lay it all out as best I can. My aunt was a regular pot smoker for several years, and recently had to give it up due to being arrested and convicted for possesion with intent. She was a successful business owner, but the business...	Shamu89	4	610	Dec 11, 2007 by Shamu89
	Need ESH on f2f meetings (Preview) My home group meeting and an AA meeting were aparently started by an AA/Al-Anon couple. She(alanon) has recently been unable to attend due to a new work schedule, but he is still running the AA meeting. Our Alanon group has now finally been registered with WSO, but we are starting to get interference f...	Jen	3	583	Dec 11, 2007 by Jen
	Gotta Vent (Preview) No need to respond - just gotta vent: I AM SO SICK OF THE SMELL OF BEER!!!!!!!! Thank-you. J	Gotta_Vent	10	427	Dec 11, 2007 by Lookingforpeace
	seeing myself on film (Preview) This weekend when I was in bed nursing my flu I watched a film called Owning Mahoney about a compulsive gambler starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Minnie Driver plays his girlfriend. I saw so much of me in the girlfriend. I really do not want to see it but I have to put it out there that this is my behavio...	maresie	3	584	Dec 11, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Prayer Request (Preview) Hi everyone, I applied for a part-time job and it did not work out. I have been looking for a different full-time job with a higher salary, but haven't seen any. I figured most companies don't hire during the holidays. Something told me to look at a State job, so I did just that and stumbled upon a job that...	kissers	6	477	Dec 11, 2007 by carosie
	Update (Preview) I'm alive, thanks for all the concern! All my kids and I have been sick for the past week plus my youngest turned 6 yesterday and I have been working (with pharmaceutical enhancement) to get enough cash in for the birthday and bills. So, it's been busy times for me lately and today is the first day I have...	carolinagirl	3	446	Dec 11, 2007 by QOD
	Need detachment/sanity advice (Preview) Brief background: A bf currently living overseas, relapses over Thanksgiving. Contacts me two weeks later (this past weekend) to tell me he's getting help and realizes that he can't be in a relationship. Really needs to take care of himself. Progam. All that. This is a man I've know (off and o...	round3	4	743	Dec 11, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	How to trust him? (Preview) Well, it was a good weekend! over 60 hours sober so far! This is great news and I am excited. But I am having a hard time trusting him! Everytime he goes to buy cigarettes, or gets gas, or goes to a friends, I feel as though he cheated on me. I am catching myself looking in all his hiding places to see if he bough...	acaporali	6	678	Dec 11, 2007 by Jerry F
	over involvement (Preview) In some ways living in the crazy house I am currenlty living in is a great great test of my previous over involvement. One of my room mates just lost his job. He's not looking for another. He put in one applicaiton and says he is going to wait around and see if that works. In the past I would be on top of someon...	maresie	3	395	Dec 10, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	XMAs Party (Preview) In the last 2 months my AH has spent a week in a locked down detox facility, gotten a DUI, for which he has until 12/19 to get in a Court ordered alcohol tratment program. Last night we went to my office XMas party - very small office, only about 10 people. My boss had told me before hand that my AH was not wel...	Chetch	6	568	Dec 10, 2007 by round3
	for god's sake!!!!! (Preview) Well just as I thought I was getting on with things, life was going pretty ok, managing my work, college and the house I did not feel the best but was getting there. Then crash bang wallop the chaos called my aboyf rings up! I had been doing of and the meetings we had were actually fun. I did not have any expec...	chick29	2	514	Dec 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	? About Healing and Time (Preview) My H was addicted to vicodine for 2 years. It was hell. He literally went to work and slept for the last year. I was pregnant with our second. I couldn't get him to take out the trash, screw in a light bulb, nothing. The last 6 months of the addiciton he would run out of his prescription after 2 weeks...	optimistundone	2	486	Dec 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	being responsible (Preview) I have spent much of the weekend in bed because I felt flu like. I cant say I ever really got to take care of myself around the A. If I ever was sick he always went into a huge sulk and he went out of his way to ignore me and my needs. So for me it is something of a luxury to be able to rest rest and rest. My place is not...	maresie	2	475	Dec 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	CarolinaGirl (Preview) You ok?	serendipity	3	332	Dec 10, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Lost in myself, what is real? (Preview) I don't know what to think or how to feel so I'll just let the swirl of thoughts out and see if I figure it out so I can get some sleep. If I can't figure it out maybe someone here can point me in one direction or another with their esh. I think it has been a run of events good, bad and dissapointing that have f...	ddub	3	645	Dec 10, 2007 by grateful
	Acceptance on my terms (Preview) Got a call from one of my ah's 2 best friends tonight. He was just calling to check in and see how things are going. This is one of the guys my ah goes on fishing trips with. They always drank beer together. The difference being his buddies are not alcoholics and are devoted family men. They know the scoo...	Loupiness	7	650	Dec 10, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	HP's hand? (Preview) Well....it's happened. My A bf (who currently lives overseas) just completed a year of sobriety in November, then relapsed over Thanksgiving. He dropped out on me completely and I, of course, panicked (see my earlier posts). He finally emailed me earlier this week to tell me he was okay, and woul...	round3	5	410	Dec 10, 2007 by round3
	rambling thoughts- new approach (Preview) HI all- forgive me in advance for a long post. I am test driving some thoughts on y'all. so, My A is back using- after 4 months of being AA poster child- he doesn't want to go to any meetings. just wants to stare at the tv, not talk. I can't freaking stand it. I have been going to overeaters anonymous sinc...	gknee	4	482	Dec 10, 2007 by cookie1971
	Thank You, Everyone! (Preview) I am so relieved to see that I am not alone. I would appreciate any tips you might have on staying focused on my life while being supportive of my A (if he chooses to stay in this program). I have a hard time saying no to people in need, and I tend to worry about their problems as if they were my own. I reali...	dawnie k	4	481	Dec 10, 2007 by Jerry F
	im new here..not sure if im thinking too much (Preview) hi everyone...im so confused...i am new here and to alanon...just needing some feedback let me know if im totally overanalyzing things...i have all week not mentioned my ah drinking to him...which is amazing in itself i think for me! well last night he went out to the bar..i just casually said ok and h...	justme11	9	694	Dec 9, 2007 by Maria123
	One Year (Preview) I have not written in ages. Just wanted to share my thanks and memories and experiences with you today. One year ago today my addicted BF went to detox and then rehab and has not drank/used since. It was just days from now a year ago that his counselor at detox said to me to look for alanon meetings on li...	Fifi	4	622	Dec 9, 2007 by Maria123
	MUSIC VIDEO.......GOODBYE MR A........ (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2ErypIapyw&feature=relatedH...	ally	3	519	Dec 9, 2007 by NCC1701
	Anyone sleep deprived? (Preview) Just wondered if this is one of those common traits for al anoners or just me? I hate going to sleep, love sleeping but avoid, procrastinate and do anything to keep my mind focused on this board, sollataire,etc. to not go to bed. Of corse the results are sleeping some more during the day and getting noth...	ddub	11	694	Dec 9, 2007 by nmike
	What to do ...... (Preview) So this is my first time posting here. I just recently found all of the Al Anon resources on the web. I have children (5) and work full time so I am pretty unable to attend conventional meetings. Me and my husband have been married for 10 years. He is an alcoholic and has been to rehab about 3 years ago. ...	ashleymarie	8	573	Dec 9, 2007 by lin0606
	Just an update (Preview) Just an update for my online friends. My AH went into rehab last week,after losing his job.Got home on Wed.Had an appt w a halfway/recovery house on Thur.And he checked in today.Hes unsure of everything.But he said it felt like a huge burden was lifted off of him when he decided to go.This is a first fo...	MIDGET	4	326	Dec 8, 2007 by maresie
	My mother's death and my sister's cold heart... (Preview) ...for it would have been my mother's birthday and I miss her so. It just does not seem to get any better either as the time passes (3 years this year). My twin sister, whom I have written to numerously does NOT answer my letters and has done just what my mother predicted - cut me off completely. The last t...	Heartbroken	5	722	Dec 8, 2007 by maresie
	One crutch after the other.... (Preview) HI, Woke up sick, got myself better and came in here. Now have two Basset warmers up here. I think they love my feather bed and comforters better than me. that is ok, they really do keep me warm.... Life sure is hard eh?I don't feel mine is any harder than anyone elses. Many of you could relate to debilyns pa...	debilyn	3	625	Dec 8, 2007 by Jerry F
	best/wrost scenarios planned out (Preview) I am facing a very very lonely holiday season. One thing I am trying to do in it is plan for the future. My worst scenario is that I have to stay living where I am for 2 years, rebuild my credit and really really just dig deep to find resources. That means virtually living out of one room which I am now. If the...	maresie	1	465	Dec 8, 2007 by justme11
	looking at my behavior (Preview) In recent weeks I've established relaitonships with two friends. One was a friend I met in an online group who had many many similar issues. We were in contact daily. We really liked each other. I had great hope that this relationship was going to be supportive. The other was a woman who lives in the s...	maresie	2	847	Dec 7, 2007 by serendipity
	This may be a different mountian (Preview) (((((Friends)))))) I posted last week about The A in my life. She had almost died from ingesting god knows how much alcohol. She got out of hospital yesterday after 11 days. She is attending meetings twice a day. None of this is new. I had a reply to my post from a lovely lady that stated I had been arou...	lilms	3	613	Dec 7, 2007 by Jerry F
	please pray for my son (Preview) (((((((((friends)))))))))) My son is has to appear along with his attorney, before the Board of Pharmacy tomorrow. It is a preliminary hearing in an affort to get his Pharmacist's license back. He has worked so hard and is doing so well in his recovery. He feels he deserves to have his license back...	Lexie	11	594	Dec 7, 2007 by lilms
	Blame (Preview) Why does it feel so good to blame? Can someone explain the psychology of this? Can someone explain why it feels so good to do this (even know I know it is not the right thing to do). I feel like it is almost intoxicating and therefore hard to avoid some days.	Jean4444	11	664	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	Therapy and Counseling (Preview) I posted this in response to the "Acceptance" thread but I realized it's really a new topic so I'm starting one... --------------- When I sought a therapist - at the beginnings of my divorce - it was strictly for myself, not to try and save the marriage. I looked for a psychologist rather th...	barisax	3	617	Dec 7, 2007 by barisax
	20 Days till Christmas (Preview) Christmas is a time of year I have come to dread. I try to be thankful for what I have, but it is so little. We will not have enough money for Christmas presents this year, but I was trying to put up a small tree and my 10 year old daughter was devestated that we weren't putting up the big tree this year. There is...	java	9	2732	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	I'm new here (Preview) Hello. everyone. I am here because I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. I suspected he might have a problem with drinking, but I didn't know it was so severe. He said from the beginning that he liked to have his beers, one or two a day. But I noticed him running to the store for som...	dawnie k	6	564	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	ending deprivation (Preview) As you all know I left the A with thousands in debt. He in essence stole my truck out from under me and try as I might I could not get any legal remedy on it. For the last 6 months I have been trying to pay down my bills. I have now got two outstanding bills that I have not yet got around to reconciling. Everyth...	maresie2	5	389	Dec 7, 2007 by QOD
	My future (Preview) My BF A has been in the ICU now for almost 2 weeks and I just got an update telling me that IF he makes it out alive his brain will not function as it should and he will not be able to hold down a job or live alone. I am having a really hard time processing this information. It has litterally made me sick to my sto...	Mariedl05	5	373	Dec 7, 2007 by Mariedl05
	He got a continuance! (Preview) My A had court last night and I insisted on going with him, as otherwise he wouldn't tell me what happened. Since he is a big shot attorney (he thinks) and knows the judge, the judge gave him until 12/19 to get enrolled in an alchohol treatment program. I doubt he will - he thinks since he is an attorney he...	Chetch	1	438	Dec 7, 2007 by Karilynn
	funny and sad (Preview) AH is sitting in the car, in the dark, with a beer in a paper bag. The poor dog is in the back seat because AH pretends like he is walking the dog every night. I just think, how sad. He would rather sit in the car in the driveway in the middle of a storm than go to bed with the rest of the family. He does this every n...	RainyJamie	12	436	Dec 7, 2007 by klm4446
	vacationing with the ex (Preview) Background: Ah and I have been separated for 7 mos now, but only now is he working a program and are we acting separated. We've been married for 18 yrs, and rarely took family vacations. His work was always too important and we did not make it a priority. He had plenty of fishing trips with his buddies. He c...	Loupiness	14	470	Dec 7, 2007 by ddub
	7th Tradition and this Board (Preview) How do we "do" the 7th tradition here on this board?!	Jean4444	1	459	Dec 7, 2007 by debilyn
	STARK RAVING SOBER!!!! (Preview) Well, we are at 14 days of being dry and I believe she has gone stark raving sober and is going to drive us stark raving mad. As we are not allowed to tie her up or muzzle her, lmbo, we are just keeping on. Really I am not complaining (much). I would rather see this than what I saw in the emergency room two week...	lilms	6	647	Dec 6, 2007 by lilms
	today (Preview) Feeling depressed, overwhelmed. Time to turn everything over, take step one again and again...discouraged about how hard things feel right now. I cannot quite put my finger on it. My A seemed to be doing Ok for a few months but now is back to square one. I can tell because he accrues lots of expensive o...	Jean4444	2	287	Dec 6, 2007 by Jen
	Painful and bad experience,long (Preview) I am so grateful for Alanon. I learn from everyone,am humbled by everyone sharing. Many years of Al Anon has kept me still putting one foot in front of the other. Now I am having a horrible time. My A left a year plus ago, when he became so sick, that all he wanted was a place to use and be taken care of,enable...	debilyn	22	1955	Dec 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	People pleasing (Preview) About 5 years ago I read a book on People pleasing by Harriett Braiker (my apologies if I am not supposed to mention non al anon books). I was absolutely flabbergasted. I could see clearly I was a people pleaser but I was also in denial. I would people please myself into positions where I was really ang...	maresie2	1	1858	Dec 6, 2007 by Christy
	today is the day!!!!!????? (Preview) Well, today is the day! My husband decided today is the day he is quitting drinking! I am trying to be supportive and have positive attitude, but it is hard, will he actually quit this time??? To many times of oh I am quitting this day!!! However, this time he has joined AA. So hopefully yes today is the day...	acaporali	1	346	Dec 6, 2007 by Gotta_Vent
	A simple question (Preview) what do you do when your A sends you bullying, dismissive, sarcastic emails? Ignore them?	Jean4444	4	506	Dec 6, 2007 by Jen
	Struggling with accepting/letting go/detaching (Preview) Hi y'all, I was on here under the name LisaF, but only posted a couple of times... I'm sorry, this is gonna be a long ramble probably (my posts usually are lol) but I have so much going through my mind right now and I just can't get my mind to slow down... I don't really know much about alanon... I went to a co...	ChicknLittle	8	574	Dec 6, 2007 by Karilynn
	geting the bigger picture (Preview) I am in a work situation that is very very trying for me. Normally I would totally melt under this kind of stuaiton. I always has teh A to fall back on to a certain extent before. He never listened to me ever about any of my issues. At the same time he was "there" as a physical presence and to some ex...	maresie2	3	705	Dec 5, 2007 by RainyJamie
	bad behaviour from me (Preview) Well I have really been struggling, as in stress at work, feeling down and my Aboyf going back to his own place. However we are both appreciating the space and I am not there to take his bad mood swings. He is struggling so am I, but I'm pleased to say the time we have spent tog has been really enjoyable and I a...	chick29	4	713	Dec 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	not liking reality and being stubborn about it. (Preview) 2 years ago when I was brainstorming how I needed to leave the A, one of my failing blocks was that I simply could not accept reality. I wanted the A to change. I stood on my head to make him change. He did change of course, he got much much worse. Now I am making a plan A, B, C about the future I still don't like r...	maresie2	5	484	Dec 5, 2007 by ChicknLittle
	December is good for me - so far (Preview) I had already decided against gifts this year. I'm buying livestock in people's names. They're getting a picture of a critter given to someone whose life will be so much better for this. Just that decision has brought me such peace - now the benefits multiply as I have free time otherwise spent in the in...	Jill	3	558	Dec 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Court tomorrow (Preview) My AH casually announced to me last night that he has to go to Court tomorrow and the Judge wants him to bring proof that he is in an alcohol treatment program. Of course he can't do that because he's still looking for that 6 week program that will give him a certificate saying he is no longer an A. He had pro...	Chetch	4	415	Dec 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	My break through....a new attitude... (Preview) ...got to feel good about this as I think I am experiencing a breakthrough from the brick wall I seem to have come up again just lately; and it is all because I have friends here to talk to, who listen and them discuss and share their experiences and what has worked for them [and sometimes what has NOT worke...	Heartbroken	5	576	Dec 5, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	A Whole Lot of Nothin' (Preview) I heard from a girlfriend I talked to on the phone today that the first big snow storm of the season was hitting back home. So, I texted my AH "snow?" and got nothing back. I know I cannot control him in any way but what is so hard about responding to something as pure and simple as this? What doe...	Jean4444	4	578	Dec 5, 2007 by round3
	When will I learn? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, When will I learn to shut my mouth and not react? I had a tough week. It started with a coworker calling me a liar. Then another coworker flipped me off, missed a meeting. So by Friday I was carrying all those victim/resentments with me. In walks the President and we talk. I complained about...	nmike	7	570	Dec 5, 2007 by round3
	New and a bit confused (Preview) Hi there, I am a bit confused and unsure if I am even on the right site. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, but is addicted to Vicoden and Soma, here's the kicker.. he gets the script filled (very legally by the way) once a month for his "back Pain" and within 7 days has consumed all the...	Notthisagain	7	636	Dec 5, 2007 by Karilynn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.