Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Loupiness · Loupiness

Got a call from one of my ah's 2 best friends tonight. He was just calling to check in and see how things are going. This is one of the guys my ah goes on fishing trips with. They always drank beer together. The difference being his buddies are not alcoholics and are devoted family men. They know the scoo...

round3 · round3

Well....it's happened. My A bf (who currently lives overseas) just completed a year of sobriety in November, then relapsed over Thanksgiving. He dropped out on me completely and I, of course, panicked (see my earlier posts). He finally emailed me earlier this week to tell me he was okay, and woul...

gknee · gknee

HI all- forgive me in advance for a long post. I am test driving some thoughts on y'all. so, My A is back using- after 4 months of being AA poster child- he doesn't want to go to any meetings. just wants to stare at the tv, not talk. I can't freaking stand it. I have been going to overeaters anonymous sinc...

dawnie k · dawnie k

I am so relieved to see that I am not alone. I would appreciate any tips you might have on staying focused on my life while being supportive of my A (if he chooses to stay in this program). I have a hard time saying no to people in need, and I tend to worry about their problems as if they were my own. I reali...

justme11 · justme11

hi everyone...im so confused...i am new here and to alanon...just needing some feedback let me know if im totally overanalyzing things...i have all week not mentioned my ah drinking to him...which is amazing in itself i think for me! well last night he went out to the bar..i just casually said ok and h...

Fifi · Fifi

I have not written in ages. Just wanted to share my thanks and memories and experiences with you today. One year ago today my addicted BF went to detox and then rehab and has not drank/used since. It was just days from now a year ago that his counselor at detox said to me to look for alanon meetings on li...

ally · ally

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2ErypIapyw&feature=relatedH...

ddub · ddub

Just wondered if this is one of those common traits for al anoners or just me? I hate going to sleep, love sleeping but avoid, procrastinate and do anything to keep my mind focused on this board, sollataire,etc. to not go to bed. Of corse the results are sleeping some more during the day and getting noth...

ashleymarie · ashleymarie

So this is my first time posting here. I just recently found all of the Al Anon resources on the web. I have children (5) and work full time so I am pretty unable to attend conventional meetings. Me and my husband have been married for 10 years. He is an alcoholic and has been to rehab about 3 years ago. ...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Just an update for my online friends. My AH went into rehab last week,after losing his job.Got home on Wed.Had an appt w a halfway/recovery house on Thur.And he checked in today.Hes unsure of everything.But he said it felt like a huge burden was lifted off of him when he decided to go.This is a first fo...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...for it would have been my mother's birthday and I miss her so. It just does not seem to get any better either as the time passes (3 years this year). My twin sister, whom I have written to numerously does NOT answer my letters and has done just what my mother predicted - cut me off completely. The last t...

debilyn · debilyn

HI, Woke up sick, got myself better and came in here. Now have two Basset warmers up here. I think they love my feather bed and comforters better than me. that is ok, they really do keep me warm.... Life sure is hard eh?I don't feel mine is any harder than anyone elses. Many of you could relate to debilyns pa...

maresie · maresie

I am facing a very very lonely holiday season. One thing I am trying to do in it is plan for the future. My worst scenario is that I have to stay living where I am for 2 years, rebuild my credit and really really just dig deep to find resources. That means virtually living out of one room which I am now. If the...

maresie · maresie

In recent weeks I've established relaitonships with two friends. One was a friend I met in an online group who had many many similar issues. We were in contact daily. We really liked each other. I had great hope that this relationship was going to be supportive. The other was a woman who lives in the s...

lilms · lilms

(((((Friends)))))) I posted last week about The A in my life. She had almost died from ingesting god knows how much alcohol. She got out of hospital yesterday after 11 days. She is attending meetings twice a day. None of this is new. I had a reply to my post from a lovely lady that stated I had been arou...

Lexie · Lexie

(((((((((friends)))))))))) My son is has to appear along with his attorney, before the Board of Pharmacy tomorrow. It is a preliminary hearing in an affort to get his Pharmacist's license back. He has worked so hard and is doing so well in his recovery. He feels he deserves to have his license back...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Why does it feel so good to blame? Can someone explain the psychology of this? Can someone explain why it feels so good to do this (even know I know it is not the right thing to do). I feel like it is almost intoxicating and therefore hard to avoid some days.

barisax · barisax

I posted this in response to the "Acceptance" thread but I realized it's really a new topic so I'm starting one... --------------- When I sought a therapist - at the beginnings of my divorce - it was strictly for myself, not to try and save the marriage. I looked for a psychologist rather th...

java · java

Christmas is a time of year I have come to dread. I try to be thankful for what I have, but it is so little. We will not have enough money for Christmas presents this year, but I was trying to put up a small tree and my 10 year old daughter was devestated that we weren't putting up the big tree this year. There is...

dawnie k · dawnie k

Hello. everyone. I am here because I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. I suspected he might have a problem with drinking, but I didn't know it was so severe. He said from the beginning that he liked to have his beers, one or two a day. But I noticed him running to the store for som...

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know I left the A with thousands in debt. He in essence stole my truck out from under me and try as I might I could not get any legal remedy on it. For the last 6 months I have been trying to pay down my bills. I have now got two outstanding bills that I have not yet got around to reconciling. Everyth...

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

My BF A has been in the ICU now for almost 2 weeks and I just got an update telling me that IF he makes it out alive his brain will not function as it should and he will not be able to hold down a job or live alone. I am having a really hard time processing this information. It has litterally made me sick to my sto...

Chetch · Chetch

My A had court last night and I insisted on going with him, as otherwise he wouldn't tell me what happened. Since he is a big shot attorney (he thinks) and knows the judge, the judge gave him until 12/19 to get enrolled in an alchohol treatment program. I doubt he will - he thinks since he is an attorney he...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH is sitting in the car, in the dark, with a beer in a paper bag. The poor dog is in the back seat because AH pretends like he is walking the dog every night. I just think, how sad. He would rather sit in the car in the driveway in the middle of a storm than go to bed with the rest of the family. He does this every n...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Background: Ah and I have been separated for 7 mos now, but only now is he working a program and are we acting separated. We've been married for 18 yrs, and rarely took family vacations. His work was always too important and we did not make it a priority. He had plenty of fishing trips with his buddies. He c...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

How do we "do" the 7th tradition here on this board?!

lilms · lilms

Well, we are at 14 days of being dry and I believe she has gone stark raving sober and is going to drive us stark raving mad. As we are not allowed to tie her up or muzzle her, lmbo, we are just keeping on. Really I am not complaining (much). I would rather see this than what I saw in the emergency room two week...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Feeling depressed, overwhelmed. Time to turn everything over, take step one again and again...discouraged about how hard things feel right now. I cannot quite put my finger on it. My A seemed to be doing Ok for a few months but now is back to square one. I can tell because he accrues lots of expensive o...

debilyn · debilyn

I am so grateful for Alanon. I learn from everyone,am humbled by everyone sharing. Many years of Al Anon has kept me still putting one foot in front of the other. Now I am having a horrible time. My A left a year plus ago, when he became so sick, that all he wanted was a place to use and be taken care of,enable...

maresie2 · maresie2

About 5 years ago I read a book on People pleasing by Harriett Braiker (my apologies if I am not supposed to mention non al anon books). I was absolutely flabbergasted. I could see clearly I was a people pleaser but I was also in denial. I would people please myself into positions where I was really ang...

acaporali · acaporali

Well, today is the day! My husband decided today is the day he is quitting drinking! I am trying to be supportive and have positive attitude, but it is hard, will he actually quit this time??? To many times of oh I am quitting this day!!! However, this time he has joined AA. So hopefully yes today is the day...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

what do you do when your A sends you bullying, dismissive, sarcastic emails? Ignore them?

ChicknLittle · ChicknLittle

Hi y'all, I was on here under the name LisaF, but only posted a couple of times... I'm sorry, this is gonna be a long ramble probably (my posts usually are lol) but I have so much going through my mind right now and I just can't get my mind to slow down... I don't really know much about alanon... I went to a co...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am in a work situation that is very very trying for me. Normally I would totally melt under this kind of stuaiton. I always has teh A to fall back on to a certain extent before. He never listened to me ever about any of my issues. At the same time he was "there" as a physical presence and to some ex...

chick29 · chick29

Well I have really been struggling, as in stress at work, feeling down and my Aboyf going back to his own place. However we are both appreciating the space and I am not there to take his bad mood swings. He is struggling so am I, but I'm pleased to say the time we have spent tog has been really enjoyable and I a...

maresie2 · maresie2

2 years ago when I was brainstorming how I needed to leave the A, one of my failing blocks was that I simply could not accept reality. I wanted the A to change. I stood on my head to make him change. He did change of course, he got much much worse. Now I am making a plan A, B, C about the future I still don't like r...

Jill · Jill

I had already decided against gifts this year. I'm buying livestock in people's names. They're getting a picture of a critter given to someone whose life will be so much better for this. Just that decision has brought me such peace - now the benefits multiply as I have free time otherwise spent in the in...

Chetch · Chetch

My AH casually announced to me last night that he has to go to Court tomorrow and the Judge wants him to bring proof that he is in an alcohol treatment program. Of course he can't do that because he's still looking for that 6 week program that will give him a certificate saying he is no longer an A. He had pro...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...got to feel good about this as I think I am experiencing a breakthrough from the brick wall I seem to have come up again just lately; and it is all because I have friends here to talk to, who listen and them discuss and share their experiences and what has worked for them [and sometimes what has NOT worke...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I heard from a girlfriend I talked to on the phone today that the first big snow storm of the season was hitting back home. So, I texted my AH "snow?" and got nothing back. I know I cannot control him in any way but what is so hard about responding to something as pure and simple as this? What doe...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, When will I learn to shut my mouth and not react? I had a tough week. It started with a coworker calling me a liar. Then another coworker flipped me off, missed a meeting. So by Friday I was carrying all those victim/resentments with me. In walks the President and we talk. I complained about...

Notthisagain · Notthisagain

Hi there, I am a bit confused and unsure if I am even on the right site. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, but is addicted to Vicoden and Soma, here's the kicker.. he gets the script filled (very legally by the way) once a month for his "back Pain" and within 7 days has consumed all the...

Mambo Queen · Mambo Queen

Hey all. I have not yet been to my first al-anon meeting, but I'm planning on going on Friday, when they have babysitting. I have told my AH time and time again that I would leave him if he didn't get help, go to AA. etc. He did quit drinking for 4 months this last time but now we're back to the same ol' same o...

belle1 · belle1

Does anyone have jcarney pic site addie? ive always had it, and cant access it now seems its changed server/site wanted to add my pic. -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03 -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03

tea2 · tea2

Hello everyone,I apologize for not replying to as many as I use to I typically use private messaging to offer E, S and H or sometimes simply *hugs* of support.I happen to be in a rather bad place at the moment and using all the tools HP has shown me through this program the best I can. Time for me to let my HP ta...

maresie2 · maresie2

I feel like I am transitioning from leaving the A to having left the A. I have so much up in the air, job, home, finances, health, dental, vision, isolation. There are moments when I can be at peace, I walked my dogs last night a long long walk for them. For once I did not feel weighed down by the bombardmen...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), To my loving family here who celebrate Hanukkah, may you all have a wonderful and joyous celebration. It's is a beautiful time of year. Much love and blessings to you all. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Our son's birthday is on Sunday. Already I have gotten emails and calls asking if he's going to be able to talk to his son on his birthday. I am really regretting ever letting him talk to him in the first place now. Of course he's going to think he's entitled every time he gets the urge now. I am planning...

steadfast · steadfast

My second post of the day . . . I'm in a bit of a crisis. My ABIL showed up at our door yesterday afternoon. He lives 2 1/2 hours away and just showed up. I was very upset with him over Thanksgiving because he was so drunk. It just really disgusts me. My AH is better (relatively speaking) than he has been i...

hudsond · hudsond

Sounds so gross huh?! Anway I have been having a sore spot with my sober AH and it is getting bigger and bigger!! It is a very touchy topic for lots of people who don't even have alcoholic issues. The subject is church. I grew up going to church and I happen to have a wonderful christian family. I do get...

QOD · QOD

Ok, so it has been 3 or 4 weeks since I have been able to really log on. We moved our office and were without internet forever. Shew...good to be back on. Sure have needed my Al-anon family lately. My AH has been a real booger. We got into the dumbest fight a few weeks back. Rather he fought w/me and I cho...

justme11 · justme11

I have went to my first meeting last night and just wanted to thank you for all your kind responses on here over the weekend and just for this site in general i dont know how many pages of bulletins i read the past couple days...i woke up yesterday on a mission to get out of bed...yea its been that bad...i ran...

Bradman · Bradman

Hello All: My AW belongs to a very large, strong AA group that has been meeting for about 20 years in a large auditorium at a local hospital. The group meets at 7-9pm on Friday nights. The meeting often attracts over a hundred people in large part because the parking is free at that time of night. However,...

serenity62 · serenity62

December Business Meeting Minutes; MIP December 2/2007 Chairperson opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the OP schedule which was posted. some Alternative positions were also filled. General guidelines and responsibilities on being a chairperson were also pos...

Christy · Christy

Hubby passed this on to me. I'm sure in his mind he was thinking of his A-ism and the choices he's made, but if I'm being honest, I can see myself too. I thought It was a good message to share. Imagine a Road a Beautiful wide and straight Road of Gold stretching as far as the eye can see A Road that Feels-Go...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi all, I haven't written in months, but here's the story, My AH was fired from his job, a good job, for being intoxicated at work - in October. He's 28, so am I. Then he drank more and more, found a full and part-time job, and we were in the middle of moving across town, did that. He drank more. He got arr...

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

My boyfriend of two years was admitted to ICU about a week ago for numerous problems due to his drinking. The first year we were together everything was great and then this time last year I get a phone call from his mom telling me he was in the ER and I needed to come right away. He spent a couple of weeks in t...

steadfast · steadfast

Hello all, I went to my second f2f meeting this weekend (a beginners class) and they were discussing different slogans. I am struggling on how I can apply this to my life. They discussed how we should take care of ourselves. They also discussed how we should keep an open mind and not project certain o...

ddub · ddub

I don't understand how al anon works but it does even when I don't want it to work so well sometimes. Has anyone else felt that way? I think maybe just changing the focus and having some wonderful al anon folks to acknowledge and relate to how we feel, somehow clears my head so I function better plus learn...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have at most 6 weeks at this job I am at. There are good things and bad things about this job. The commute is a killer, the hours are a killer. The money I earn though really helps. I have managed to save a tiny tiny amount of money and am working towards paying down my debt. I need two solid years of paying...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Acceptance on my terms (Preview) Got a call from one of my ah's 2 best friends tonight. He was just calling to check in and see how things are going. This is one of the guys my ah goes on fishing trips with. They always drank beer together. The difference being his buddies are not alcoholics and are devoted family men. They know the scoo...	Loupiness	7	595	Dec 10, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	HP's hand? (Preview) Well....it's happened. My A bf (who currently lives overseas) just completed a year of sobriety in November, then relapsed over Thanksgiving. He dropped out on me completely and I, of course, panicked (see my earlier posts). He finally emailed me earlier this week to tell me he was okay, and woul...	round3	5	368	Dec 10, 2007 by round3
	rambling thoughts- new approach (Preview) HI all- forgive me in advance for a long post. I am test driving some thoughts on y'all. so, My A is back using- after 4 months of being AA poster child- he doesn't want to go to any meetings. just wants to stare at the tv, not talk. I can't freaking stand it. I have been going to overeaters anonymous sinc...	gknee	4	438	Dec 10, 2007 by cookie1971
	Thank You, Everyone! (Preview) I am so relieved to see that I am not alone. I would appreciate any tips you might have on staying focused on my life while being supportive of my A (if he chooses to stay in this program). I have a hard time saying no to people in need, and I tend to worry about their problems as if they were my own. I reali...	dawnie k	4	438	Dec 10, 2007 by Jerry F
	im new here..not sure if im thinking too much (Preview) hi everyone...im so confused...i am new here and to alanon...just needing some feedback let me know if im totally overanalyzing things...i have all week not mentioned my ah drinking to him...which is amazing in itself i think for me! well last night he went out to the bar..i just casually said ok and h...	justme11	9	646	Dec 9, 2007 by Maria123
	One Year (Preview) I have not written in ages. Just wanted to share my thanks and memories and experiences with you today. One year ago today my addicted BF went to detox and then rehab and has not drank/used since. It was just days from now a year ago that his counselor at detox said to me to look for alanon meetings on li...	Fifi	4	569	Dec 9, 2007 by Maria123
	MUSIC VIDEO.......GOODBYE MR A........ (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2ErypIapyw&feature=relatedH...	ally	3	477	Dec 9, 2007 by NCC1701
	Anyone sleep deprived? (Preview) Just wondered if this is one of those common traits for al anoners or just me? I hate going to sleep, love sleeping but avoid, procrastinate and do anything to keep my mind focused on this board, sollataire,etc. to not go to bed. Of corse the results are sleeping some more during the day and getting noth...	ddub	11	650	Dec 9, 2007 by nmike
	What to do ...... (Preview) So this is my first time posting here. I just recently found all of the Al Anon resources on the web. I have children (5) and work full time so I am pretty unable to attend conventional meetings. Me and my husband have been married for 10 years. He is an alcoholic and has been to rehab about 3 years ago. ...	ashleymarie	8	530	Dec 9, 2007 by lin0606
	Just an update (Preview) Just an update for my online friends. My AH went into rehab last week,after losing his job.Got home on Wed.Had an appt w a halfway/recovery house on Thur.And he checked in today.Hes unsure of everything.But he said it felt like a huge burden was lifted off of him when he decided to go.This is a first fo...	MIDGET	4	282	Dec 8, 2007 by maresie
	My mother's death and my sister's cold heart... (Preview) ...for it would have been my mother's birthday and I miss her so. It just does not seem to get any better either as the time passes (3 years this year). My twin sister, whom I have written to numerously does NOT answer my letters and has done just what my mother predicted - cut me off completely. The last t...	Heartbroken	5	675	Dec 8, 2007 by maresie
	One crutch after the other.... (Preview) HI, Woke up sick, got myself better and came in here. Now have two Basset warmers up here. I think they love my feather bed and comforters better than me. that is ok, they really do keep me warm.... Life sure is hard eh?I don't feel mine is any harder than anyone elses. Many of you could relate to debilyns pa...	debilyn	3	582	Dec 8, 2007 by Jerry F
	best/wrost scenarios planned out (Preview) I am facing a very very lonely holiday season. One thing I am trying to do in it is plan for the future. My worst scenario is that I have to stay living where I am for 2 years, rebuild my credit and really really just dig deep to find resources. That means virtually living out of one room which I am now. If the...	maresie	1	419	Dec 8, 2007 by justme11
	looking at my behavior (Preview) In recent weeks I've established relaitonships with two friends. One was a friend I met in an online group who had many many similar issues. We were in contact daily. We really liked each other. I had great hope that this relationship was going to be supportive. The other was a woman who lives in the s...	maresie	2	787	Dec 7, 2007 by serendipity
	This may be a different mountian (Preview) (((((Friends)))))) I posted last week about The A in my life. She had almost died from ingesting god knows how much alcohol. She got out of hospital yesterday after 11 days. She is attending meetings twice a day. None of this is new. I had a reply to my post from a lovely lady that stated I had been arou...	lilms	3	571	Dec 7, 2007 by Jerry F
	please pray for my son (Preview) (((((((((friends)))))))))) My son is has to appear along with his attorney, before the Board of Pharmacy tomorrow. It is a preliminary hearing in an affort to get his Pharmacist's license back. He has worked so hard and is doing so well in his recovery. He feels he deserves to have his license back...	Lexie	11	551	Dec 7, 2007 by lilms
	Blame (Preview) Why does it feel so good to blame? Can someone explain the psychology of this? Can someone explain why it feels so good to do this (even know I know it is not the right thing to do). I feel like it is almost intoxicating and therefore hard to avoid some days.	Jean4444	11	619	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	Therapy and Counseling (Preview) I posted this in response to the "Acceptance" thread but I realized it's really a new topic so I'm starting one... --------------- When I sought a therapist - at the beginnings of my divorce - it was strictly for myself, not to try and save the marriage. I looked for a psychologist rather th...	barisax	3	572	Dec 7, 2007 by barisax
	20 Days till Christmas (Preview) Christmas is a time of year I have come to dread. I try to be thankful for what I have, but it is so little. We will not have enough money for Christmas presents this year, but I was trying to put up a small tree and my 10 year old daughter was devestated that we weren't putting up the big tree this year. There is...	java	9	2534	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	I'm new here (Preview) Hello. everyone. I am here because I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. I suspected he might have a problem with drinking, but I didn't know it was so severe. He said from the beginning that he liked to have his beers, one or two a day. But I noticed him running to the store for som...	dawnie k	6	516	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	ending deprivation (Preview) As you all know I left the A with thousands in debt. He in essence stole my truck out from under me and try as I might I could not get any legal remedy on it. For the last 6 months I have been trying to pay down my bills. I have now got two outstanding bills that I have not yet got around to reconciling. Everyth...	maresie2	5	344	Dec 7, 2007 by QOD
	My future (Preview) My BF A has been in the ICU now for almost 2 weeks and I just got an update telling me that IF he makes it out alive his brain will not function as it should and he will not be able to hold down a job or live alone. I am having a really hard time processing this information. It has litterally made me sick to my sto...	Mariedl05	5	326	Dec 7, 2007 by Mariedl05
	He got a continuance! (Preview) My A had court last night and I insisted on going with him, as otherwise he wouldn't tell me what happened. Since he is a big shot attorney (he thinks) and knows the judge, the judge gave him until 12/19 to get enrolled in an alchohol treatment program. I doubt he will - he thinks since he is an attorney he...	Chetch	1	395	Dec 7, 2007 by Karilynn
	funny and sad (Preview) AH is sitting in the car, in the dark, with a beer in a paper bag. The poor dog is in the back seat because AH pretends like he is walking the dog every night. I just think, how sad. He would rather sit in the car in the driveway in the middle of a storm than go to bed with the rest of the family. He does this every n...	RainyJamie	12	393	Dec 7, 2007 by klm4446
	vacationing with the ex (Preview) Background: Ah and I have been separated for 7 mos now, but only now is he working a program and are we acting separated. We've been married for 18 yrs, and rarely took family vacations. His work was always too important and we did not make it a priority. He had plenty of fishing trips with his buddies. He c...	Loupiness	14	426	Dec 7, 2007 by ddub
	7th Tradition and this Board (Preview) How do we "do" the 7th tradition here on this board?!	Jean4444	1	415	Dec 7, 2007 by debilyn
	STARK RAVING SOBER!!!! (Preview) Well, we are at 14 days of being dry and I believe she has gone stark raving sober and is going to drive us stark raving mad. As we are not allowed to tie her up or muzzle her, lmbo, we are just keeping on. Really I am not complaining (much). I would rather see this than what I saw in the emergency room two week...	lilms	6	603	Dec 6, 2007 by lilms
	today (Preview) Feeling depressed, overwhelmed. Time to turn everything over, take step one again and again...discouraged about how hard things feel right now. I cannot quite put my finger on it. My A seemed to be doing Ok for a few months but now is back to square one. I can tell because he accrues lots of expensive o...	Jean4444	2	234	Dec 6, 2007 by Jen
	Painful and bad experience,long (Preview) I am so grateful for Alanon. I learn from everyone,am humbled by everyone sharing. Many years of Al Anon has kept me still putting one foot in front of the other. Now I am having a horrible time. My A left a year plus ago, when he became so sick, that all he wanted was a place to use and be taken care of,enable...	debilyn	22	1904	Dec 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	People pleasing (Preview) About 5 years ago I read a book on People pleasing by Harriett Braiker (my apologies if I am not supposed to mention non al anon books). I was absolutely flabbergasted. I could see clearly I was a people pleaser but I was also in denial. I would people please myself into positions where I was really ang...	maresie2	1	1678	Dec 6, 2007 by Christy
	today is the day!!!!!????? (Preview) Well, today is the day! My husband decided today is the day he is quitting drinking! I am trying to be supportive and have positive attitude, but it is hard, will he actually quit this time??? To many times of oh I am quitting this day!!! However, this time he has joined AA. So hopefully yes today is the day...	acaporali	1	303	Dec 6, 2007 by Gotta_Vent
	A simple question (Preview) what do you do when your A sends you bullying, dismissive, sarcastic emails? Ignore them?	Jean4444	4	461	Dec 6, 2007 by Jen
	Struggling with accepting/letting go/detaching (Preview) Hi y'all, I was on here under the name LisaF, but only posted a couple of times... I'm sorry, this is gonna be a long ramble probably (my posts usually are lol) but I have so much going through my mind right now and I just can't get my mind to slow down... I don't really know much about alanon... I went to a co...	ChicknLittle	8	526	Dec 6, 2007 by Karilynn
	geting the bigger picture (Preview) I am in a work situation that is very very trying for me. Normally I would totally melt under this kind of stuaiton. I always has teh A to fall back on to a certain extent before. He never listened to me ever about any of my issues. At the same time he was "there" as a physical presence and to some ex...	maresie2	3	664	Dec 5, 2007 by RainyJamie
	bad behaviour from me (Preview) Well I have really been struggling, as in stress at work, feeling down and my Aboyf going back to his own place. However we are both appreciating the space and I am not there to take his bad mood swings. He is struggling so am I, but I'm pleased to say the time we have spent tog has been really enjoyable and I a...	chick29	4	671	Dec 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	not liking reality and being stubborn about it. (Preview) 2 years ago when I was brainstorming how I needed to leave the A, one of my failing blocks was that I simply could not accept reality. I wanted the A to change. I stood on my head to make him change. He did change of course, he got much much worse. Now I am making a plan A, B, C about the future I still don't like r...	maresie2	5	439	Dec 5, 2007 by ChicknLittle
	December is good for me - so far (Preview) I had already decided against gifts this year. I'm buying livestock in people's names. They're getting a picture of a critter given to someone whose life will be so much better for this. Just that decision has brought me such peace - now the benefits multiply as I have free time otherwise spent in the in...	Jill	3	514	Dec 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Court tomorrow (Preview) My AH casually announced to me last night that he has to go to Court tomorrow and the Judge wants him to bring proof that he is in an alcohol treatment program. Of course he can't do that because he's still looking for that 6 week program that will give him a certificate saying he is no longer an A. He had pro...	Chetch	4	372	Dec 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	My break through....a new attitude... (Preview) ...got to feel good about this as I think I am experiencing a breakthrough from the brick wall I seem to have come up again just lately; and it is all because I have friends here to talk to, who listen and them discuss and share their experiences and what has worked for them [and sometimes what has NOT worke...	Heartbroken	5	532	Dec 5, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	A Whole Lot of Nothin' (Preview) I heard from a girlfriend I talked to on the phone today that the first big snow storm of the season was hitting back home. So, I texted my AH "snow?" and got nothing back. I know I cannot control him in any way but what is so hard about responding to something as pure and simple as this? What doe...	Jean4444	4	533	Dec 5, 2007 by round3
	When will I learn? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, When will I learn to shut my mouth and not react? I had a tough week. It started with a coworker calling me a liar. Then another coworker flipped me off, missed a meeting. So by Friday I was carrying all those victim/resentments with me. In walks the President and we talk. I complained about...	nmike	7	527	Dec 5, 2007 by round3
	New and a bit confused (Preview) Hi there, I am a bit confused and unsure if I am even on the right site. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, but is addicted to Vicoden and Soma, here's the kicker.. he gets the script filled (very legally by the way) once a month for his "back Pain" and within 7 days has consumed all the...	Notthisagain	7	588	Dec 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	New at this--a few questions (Preview) Hey all. I have not yet been to my first al-anon meeting, but I'm planning on going on Friday, when they have babysitting. I have told my AH time and time again that I would leave him if he didn't get help, go to AA. etc. He did quit drinking for 4 months this last time but now we're back to the same ol' same o...	Mambo Queen	6	556	Dec 4, 2007 by Lookingforpeace
	Does Anyone Have (Preview) Does anyone have jcarney pic site addie? ive always had it, and cant access it now seems its changed server/site wanted to add my pic. -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03 -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03	belle1	3	348	Dec 4, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Trusting my HP at the wheel (Preview) Hello everyone,I apologize for not replying to as many as I use to I typically use private messaging to offer E, S and H or sometimes simply hugs of support.I happen to be in a rather bad place at the moment and using all the tools HP has shown me through this program the best I can. Time for me to let my HP ta...	tea2	12	588	Dec 4, 2007 by aunitedway
	transition transition transition (Preview) I feel like I am transitioning from leaving the A to having left the A. I have so much up in the air, job, home, finances, health, dental, vision, isolation. There are moments when I can be at peace, I walked my dogs last night a long long walk for them. For once I did not feel weighed down by the bombardmen...	maresie2	2	471	Dec 4, 2007 by Jean4444
	Happy Hanukkah! (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), To my loving family here who celebrate Hanukkah, may you all have a wonderful and joyous celebration. It's is a beautiful time of year. Much love and blessings to you all. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	7	439	Dec 4, 2007 by Christy
	The next thing (Preview) Our son's birthday is on Sunday. Already I have gotten emails and calls asking if he's going to be able to talk to his son on his birthday. I am really regretting ever letting him talk to him in the first place now. Of course he's going to think he's entitled every time he gets the urge now. I am planning...	carolinagirl	2	411	Dec 4, 2007 by maresie2
	How to set/enforce boundaries (Preview) My second post of the day . . . I'm in a bit of a crisis. My ABIL showed up at our door yesterday afternoon. He lives 2 1/2 hours away and just showed up. I was very upset with him over Thanksgiving because he was so drunk. It just really disgusts me. My AH is better (relatively speaking) than he has been i...	steadfast	11	656	Dec 4, 2007 by abbyal
	sore spot really starting to fester--long (Preview) Sounds so gross huh?! Anway I have been having a sore spot with my sober AH and it is getting bigger and bigger!! It is a very touchy topic for lots of people who don't even have alcoholic issues. The subject is church. I grew up going to church and I happen to have a wonderful christian family. I do get...	hudsond	10	470	Dec 4, 2007 by barisax
	I'm back! - Been a while (Preview) Ok, so it has been 3 or 4 weeks since I have been able to really log on. We moved our office and were without internet forever. Shew...good to be back on. Sure have needed my Al-anon family lately. My AH has been a real booger. We got into the dumbest fight a few weeks back. Rather he fought w/me and I cho...	QOD	5	450	Dec 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	my first meeting thank you! (Preview) I have went to my first meeting last night and just wanted to thank you for all your kind responses on here over the weekend and just for this site in general i dont know how many pages of bulletins i read the past couple days...i woke up yesterday on a mission to get out of bed...yea its been that bad...i ran...	justme11	6	558	Dec 4, 2007 by nmike
	Public Campaign for AA (Preview) Hello All: My AW belongs to a very large, strong AA group that has been meeting for about 20 years in a large auditorium at a local hospital. The group meets at 7-9pm on Friday nights. The meeting often attracts over a hundred people in large part because the parking is free at that time of night. However,...	Bradman	5	606	Dec 4, 2007 by Karilynn
	December Business Meeting Minutes: (Preview) December Business Meeting Minutes; MIP December 2/2007 Chairperson opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the OP schedule which was posted. some Alternative positions were also filled. General guidelines and responsibilities on being a chairperson were also pos...	serenity62	0	354	Dec 3, 2007 by serenity62
	Imagine a road (Preview) Hubby passed this on to me. I'm sure in his mind he was thinking of his A-ism and the choices he's made, but if I'm being honest, I can see myself too. I thought It was a good message to share. Imagine a Road a Beautiful wide and straight Road of Gold stretching as far as the eye can see A Road that Feels-Go...	Christy	5	464	Dec 3, 2007 by Jean4444
	Too overwhelmed, when will it end? (Preview) Hi all, I haven't written in months, but here's the story, My AH was fired from his job, a good job, for being intoxicated at work - in October. He's 28, so am I. Then he drank more and more, found a full and part-time job, and we were in the middle of moving across town, did that. He drank more. He got arr...	CJ098	9	691	Dec 3, 2007 by CJ098
	New to Al-Anon Need some advice (Preview) My boyfriend of two years was admitted to ICU about a week ago for numerous problems due to his drinking. The first year we were together everything was great and then this time last year I get a phone call from his mom telling me he was in the ER and I needed to come right away. He spent a couple of weeks in t...	Mariedl05	5	564	Dec 3, 2007 by serendipity
	Trying to understand how NOT to project (Preview) Hello all, I went to my second f2f meeting this weekend (a beginners class) and they were discussing different slogans. I am struggling on how I can apply this to my life. They discussed how we should take care of ourselves. They also discussed how we should keep an open mind and not project certain o...	steadfast	4	483	Dec 3, 2007 by steadfast
	Resentments (Preview) I don't understand how al anon works but it does even when I don't want it to work so well sometimes. Has anyone else felt that way? I think maybe just changing the focus and having some wonderful al anon folks to acknowledge and relate to how we feel, somehow clears my head so I function better plus learn...	ddub	11	562	Dec 3, 2007 by Jean4444
	Looking for work again, looking to the new year (Preview) I have at most 6 weeks at this job I am at. There are good things and bad things about this job. The commute is a killer, the hours are a killer. The money I earn though really helps. I have managed to save a tiny tiny amount of money and am working towards paying down my debt. I need two solid years of paying...	maresie2	1	304	Dec 3, 2007 by Jean4444
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.