Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

1. The sun manages to come up without your your help. 2. Therapy finally kicks in. 3. You can stop aplogizing for what someone else did. 4. Other people can solve their own problems or not. 5. You really know you didn't cause it. 6. The statue of limitations has expired on your old mistakes. 7. You let othe...

barisax · barisax

For much of my time in both programs, I've seen and heard the "disease" debate probably hundreds of times. I understand it's a founding premise of AA, that it's something we must accept as truth in order to recover. Really? I would like to put out the notion that "disease" is a hu...

whatnow · whatnow

Hi, I'm am new and I'm not sure where to start. I am newly married and my H has issues with drinking. His family has a history of alcoholism. Background, we've been together 4 years and in the beginning it was liquor and beer and constant. Then he stopped drinking liquor and it was strictly beer. Then...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Here is a good one from my mom: My mother asks my sister what she wants for christmas. My sister tells her she want some old dishes that my mom has. My mom does not have a lot of money and does not like to spend much so my sister thought this might be a good "re-gift", etc. My mom says: "OH wha...

wp · wp

I went into Tools, options, security on puter and I blocked crown.com or whatever the name of the spam site is that was blocking me. It is in tiny print on that spam page. mspw

wp · wp

John, I am having the same problem that abbyal described. I tried twice to get into the chat room, got some kind of spam and notice I have been suspended. Will keep trying..... mspw

Maria123 · Maria123

I had an epiphany today which came to me through my dreams. Ive been struggling these past few weeks with a loss Ive been experiencing. I am losing a friend who has meant the world to me. Theyve been like a soulmate for me. They are not dying just going away, moving on shall we say. Ive been working my progra...

abbyal · abbyal

Hi John got some wierd pop up stopping us from entering the room says we have been blocked , happened several times and finally got in . peg , mae and ncc said it was happening to them too .

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Hubby and I are both struggling today and could use some prayers. His spinning thoughts are coming back and his psychiatrist has left. We can still get meds, but we need someone like her to help him. I'm struggling because I am tired emotionally and physically. Cal...

Jen4Recovery · Jen4Recovery

Hi, I am new to this but would really like to stress a hard lesson that I have learned on my journey to recover from my addict in my life. Unfortunately she happens to be the only child I have, and it has been a hard long road in coming to the point of Letting Go and Letting God. The bottom line is she has to want...

Codependent · Codependent

Has anyone else here been willing to do ANYTHING for someone only to be rejected- I mean let him use, give him money and a place to stay, etc.- for him to only consistently reject you and pick other women- some who are okay and some really crazy? I mean can someone sense your powerlessness and insecurity...

Becky1 · Becky1

Here is Miss Delilah Paisley, born Nov. 26, 2007. Three weeks early. Weighing in at a whopping 4 lbs. 11 oz. 18.5 inches long. She was born natural, I was standing by my daughter's left foot when she was born! OMG! First birth I had actually seen, and I was not wanting to be THAT close. I was wanting t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...and I came home with Mr. Perfect. I really did! He has a great smile and is well dressed. He is just a doll, and when you squeeze his hand he says things like "Honey, I hope we can spend the holidays with your family again this year", "Baby I've arranged a spa day for you next Sat. at you...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Hello family, I just don't get! How do I make a searching and moral inventory of myself and my behaviour when I do not understand what a moral inventory is? I understand moral, but it is getting it all down as a moral inventory that is screwing me up. If I say I am compassionate - and the qualification behi...

lmt123 · lmt123

Just wanted to ask for prayers on behalf of the wife and 2 daughters of a friend from church who shot and killed himself night before last. He was a struggling alcoholic, sober sometimes and sometimes not. Apparently his wife heard the gunshot and found him. She is a dear angel of a woman, and one of th...

maresie · maresie

After speaking to the A this morning I feel enormously sad that I wasted so much time on someone who really just wants to manipulate me. I really played into all his manipulations. He does not care about me or the dogs. He does not even ask after them. One of my dogs was out missing for 2 days, she could have...

Mabeleileen · Mabeleileen

I am brand new here and need lots of help. I attended my first al-anon meeting last friday. I am kind of confused at they said that I need to get helathy and that there is nothing I can do about my alcholic husband. I have 2 young children 4 and 2 years old. My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago and I know that he is a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I was at a meeting recently where a woman said her sole concern before al-anon was that of the happiness of her husband and now she could care less whether he was happy or not because she knew this was none of her business. That his happiness was his concern, not hers. Although I found this really harsh I al...

kerry5 · kerry5

Sorry i deleted this post. Wrote a long vent when i reread it i realized how in appropriate it was for here please accept my apology. I was angry and vented instantly not good for me to do. Love yas tho.. Merry Christmas kerry -- Edited by kerry5 at 15:45, 2007-12-15

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just reading the post about dry drunks and it all being the disease. So now I have been mulling that around for a moment and find it very interesting. One of you said that drinking or not it's the disease, so what exactly is this disease. The more I think about it and watch A's and read about others'...

grateful · grateful

Hi everyone, I've read the posts and was wondering if someone had some insight. Lately, and I'm sure that the upcoming holiday has a lot to do with this, I've been asking too many why questions. I haven't understood why the alcoholic does what he does, such as.......why did he cheat?.....why didn't h...

debilyn · debilyn

The A well MOST A's hang on to us and who ever, just in case they hit a bad spot. In their mind they are always plotting how to get their drug again. Then pops in mom is out of vicodin, I can call deb and offer to do work up there,she will pay me.... When we cut them off 100%, we are off the list of who they can use. Th...

Looking for member "Alateen" nick · wp

Alateen, I found the info we were discussing on Thursday. There are 3 website addresses I will be glad to give you on PM when we meet again in the chat room. Mspw

dgm · dgm

Is paranoia related to the alcohol? I just assumed that was why my abf acted the way he did. The accusations just get to me for some reason and I know they aren't true, but then I sit there and wonder did i do that? He has a story that we met so many years ago, he asked me out, I said no so he bad mouthed me to ev...

dgm · dgm

I can't even make it through a post without crying, I can now see that I'm not alone. I feel like my life has been ripped apart over the past year. I starting dating a guy a year and a half ago. I knew he liked to drink, but I never knew what alcoholism really was, but I found out. We had fun for a couple of weeks...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I was warned not to let the finances get sloppy from a fortune cookie. Well, they have gotten sloppy. I in charge of all of them and I am not an accountant. I feel an ulcer coming on. Redirect: This time last year I didn't even have a job. AH worked part time and I had little to no financial control. I had no fri...

maresie · maresie

This week I have been looking at how I interact around 2 of my housemates. One of them alternatively is friendly and then dimissive and even at times rude. The other one has completely shut down. There isn't one single day I don't want to stand on my head to interact with either of them. I dont' of course. I...

maresie · maresie

This summer the A was gone for 2 months living in the truck somewhere. I did not hear from him. He got a new phone number which he did not give to me. Two months ago the A got kicked out of where he was staying. I had stopped paying his rent for him in September. He came up with something for September and by O...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I spent part of this weekend with my husband. We haven't spent much time together since the beginning of November. And I made a discovery, it is ok to love my husband. Now that may not be huge news to some, but for me that was a huge discovery. And what I also discovered, was that it is okay to love him a...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I am always trying to understand my AHsober and rationalize his actions. This is our third year of separation. It isn't getting any better. This disease is progressive whether they are drinking or not. When I go to meetings or read your posts and there is active drinking I understand. I c...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I need to get something off my chest I spent last weekend attending an al-anon state assembly which was OK but also kind of depressing because of all the rah-rah al-anon speak from the majority of the people there and the "program" presented. It generates this wall that verges on being...

texasproud2005 · texasproud2005

Sorry, this turned into a very long post. Guess I had a lot to say lol. After my divorce, a very good friend of mine asked me up to her father's house on Lake Lanier. They were having a family reunion and it would be a good opportunity for some R&R finally. I accepted and we went for a few days. Her co...

maire rua · maire rua

A year and half ago, I found this site in desperation. At that point I lacked focus, my work was incoherent and my life was unmanageable. Today I got the news from my supervisor that my outline is coherent, and he wants to know when I can submit my work. I am grateful to this site for allowing me to express a l...

barisax · barisax

I have to start off by saying I don't care for the term. I've been referred to as a DW, but I don't feel like I've "won" anything. That would imply some talent on my part, when all I've done is show up and be willing. I consider my sobriety, and my Alanon program gifts to be just that - gifts. I d...

Euoria · Euoria

Hi, Family yet to know. I am a gay man who goes by the name of "Euoria," on here. Though it may seem like a female name, it's actually a noun; a unique one. It is the shortest word in English that contains all the vowels and it's meaning is what is important to me: 'beautiful thinking.' My th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

This has been an ongoing issue for me. I honestly don't feel like I isolate myself, I just feel that people aren't friendly here. Also, that I'm too needy and don't have time for other people because of my hectic schedule. Now this is partially true but here's my issue. I have been in North Carolina for...

QOD · QOD

I don't really know how to start this one.....or really what I am going to say so bare with me. I ended things w/my ex-AH AGAIN a couple of weeks ago. We got into a huge fight...rather he did and I refused to participate, which made him even more mad. So he stayed out of the picture for a week and a half. Th...

david62 · david62

Hi ((((Family))))) Just wanted to say thanks again to those of you who responded to my call for "ya may be an alanonic" anectdotes about a month ago. This last Saturday evening I attended the AA christmas party and told my story to about 70-80 members of the fellowship. I used several of you...

Codependent · Codependent

I am new to this site and I am still trying to find my place. I am just interested to see if anyone has ever used with their A? I have a 13yr addiction/obsession with the father of my child. This started when I was 18 years old. He went from alcohol to drugs to now IV drugs. I am also the child of both an alco...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well I haven't been here in so long, in fact I haven't even been to many f2f meetings, too much has been going on and changing. But I have been holding on to my thoughts and readings and prayers. My divorce will be final December 12th. I finally did it! It has been 10 months of a l...

texasproud2005 · texasproud2005

Hi everyone. I can't say I'm happy to be joining a board such as this, but am glad to know there are kind and supportive people to help me through this part of my life. I'm going to post two topics. This will be a little about me and my history to how I got to where I am today. My maternal grandfather was an alc...

maresie · maresie

It is no secret that I feel deprived and lonely at this time. I saw a coat yesterday I really do like but the price tag is way beyond my budget. I know in the past I would find some excuse to buy it and then blame the A. Of course I spent years giving to him I didn't buy a stitch of new clothing or any kind of clot...

klm4446 · klm4446

Thoughts are everywhere. Very difficult lately, crying all the time-almost 5 mos since A BF died . I still look at his picture and cannot believe he isn't going to walk in the door any minute. Can't believe this really happened. Depressed. I want to talk to him about this so bad, sad he cannot see how o...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hi Everyone, It has been a long time since i have posted. It is the third year without my mother. It is not hard living without her now because i know she is where she wanted to be. I will tell you that when she was alive feels like another lifetime ago. I dont like letting my feelings out so much but sometimes...

Tammy2 · Tammy2

I am looking for an online sponsor. If you have any suggests for me to find someone to help me with this, please let me know. I thought that maybe I should give you some background information on me. I have been with this program for almost 4 months now and I am totally dedicated in recovery. My AH is act...

maresie · maresie

I used to spend a lot of time arguing with the A. I would do that a lot at Christmas. He always went to his mother's for most of the day and I felt left out. I did not have a program then. I live in a house with lots of dysfuncitonal people, Christmas is a day they act out. I plan to be out of here at a movie. I have...

NightWatcher · NightWatcher

Not sure how to start or word this so going to just write what come in my head and hopefully anyone who reads can make sence of it... First let me say that I have been in program for just over 4 years now... and have heard some things like this over time but never experienced myself till this week... I have bee...

NCC1701 · NCC1701

I have often wondered how low hubby would sink. Well today I discovered. We seperated in September, and it's been very awkward since. He ended up bieng arrested for DUI and breach of the peace in November, after we reported him. How does he get his own back?? He asked me to take his bagpipes and meet h...

serendipity · serendipity

Nothing I intend to send, just need to get it out of my head. It is to ex's last 3 or 4 sponsers. Coincidently, the only one that really worked for ex, helped keep him sober for 2 years, helped him repair damage done to me and the kids and genuinely seemed to love him was also a very active member of alanon....

Gailey · Gailey

I have been thinking about volunteering to be a speaker at my ftf meeting. I am not very good at putting into words what I want to say. Is it ok if I use some sharing from the posts on this board or is that against the rules? Gail

TXGirl · TXGirl

I was wondering if anyone is able to be my sponsor. I am in desperate need of help and need to start working the steps of this program. My life is out of control and I can no longer tolerate this pain any longer. I am looking forward to being fully dedicated to this program and all it has to offer. Thanks and I l...

maresie · maresie

Control was a huge issue in the relationship with the A. The more out of control his addiciton was the more he tried to control me. He would even insist when and if I watched tv and he always had some huge saga about what I was doing and what I spent my money on. In fact he never regarded as my money it was his f...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Saturday morning started out very calm. Ah comes in with a Christmas tree. Rather than asking for permission or how long he was planning on staying, I said I was going to go shopping while he and the kids decorated for Christmas. I left him with pine needles all over the floor and boxes of ornaments. O...

maresie · maresie

4 years ago the A was working someplace (that was in the days he was working). He met a little beagle dog ( agirl) that had been abandoned. He said that it was for him love at first sight. He took one look at her and he was a goner. He brought her home one night, she was such a state, thin, scared, she had an in...

serendipity · serendipity

I am so very sorry if my last post to my ex's sponsers offended anyone. The co-dependent in me has been thinking that I might have hurt some feelings but that was not at all my intention. I mean, it was my intention to hurt ex's sponser's feelings with what I said. But I was saying it here where they will neve...

stormie · stormie

Hello: I posted a while back to introduce myself. Sorry - I can't remember how long ago - perhaps 3 weeks or less. I read the posts frequently in hopes of coming across one that addresses my current situation. My AH went into a 30-day rehab around 4 months ago. I have been separated from him for 5 months...

Shamu89 · Shamu89

Sorry if this is too long, but I'm not sure where to go with this, so I'll just lay it all out as best I can. My aunt was a regular pot smoker for several years, and recently had to give it up due to being arrested and convicted for possesion with intent. She was a successful business owner, but the business...

Jen · Jen

My home group meeting and an AA meeting were aparently started by an AA/Al-Anon couple. She(alanon) has recently been unable to attend due to a new work schedule, but he is still running the AA meeting. Our Alanon group has now finally been registered with WSO, but we are starting to get interference f...

Gotta_Vent · Gotta_Vent

No need to respond - just gotta vent: I AM SO SICK OF THE SMELL OF BEER!!!!!!!! Thank-you. J

maresie · maresie

This weekend when I was in bed nursing my flu I watched a film called Owning Mahoney about a compulsive gambler starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Minnie Driver plays his girlfriend. I saw so much of me in the girlfriend. I really do not want to see it but I have to put it out there that this is my behavio...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ten great things about recovery from someone elses addiction (brorrowed from another source) (Preview) 1. The sun manages to come up without your your help. 2. Therapy finally kicks in. 3. You can stop aplogizing for what someone else did. 4. Other people can solve their own problems or not. 5. You really know you didn't cause it. 6. The statue of limitations has expired on your old mistakes. 7. You let othe...	maresie	3	549	Dec 17, 2007 by pogache
	This Disease Thing (Preview) For much of my time in both programs, I've seen and heard the "disease" debate probably hundreds of times. I understand it's a founding premise of AA, that it's something we must accept as truth in order to recover. Really? I would like to put out the notion that "disease" is a hu...	barisax	16	914	Dec 17, 2007 by Karilynn
	New and full of questions (Preview) Hi, I'm am new and I'm not sure where to start. I am newly married and my H has issues with drinking. His family has a history of alcoholism. Background, we've been together 4 years and in the beginning it was liquor and beer and constant. Then he stopped drinking liquor and it was strictly beer. Then...	whatnow	9	783	Dec 17, 2007 by klm4446
	Examples of alcoholic games w/o the presence of any alcohol (Preview) Here is a good one from my mom: My mother asks my sister what she wants for christmas. My sister tells her she want some old dishes that my mom has. My mom does not have a lot of money and does not like to spend much so my sister thought this might be a good "re-gift", etc. My mom says: "OH wha...	Jean4444	7	654	Dec 17, 2007 by Jen
	JOHN update on entering room problem (Preview) I went into Tools, options, security on puter and I blocked crown.com or whatever the name of the spam site is that was blocking me. It is in tiny print on that spam page. mspw	wp	0	302	Dec 16, 2007 by wp
	JOHN same problem here (Preview) John, I am having the same problem that abbyal described. I tried twice to get into the chat room, got some kind of spam and notice I have been suspended. Will keep trying..... mspw	wp	1	911	Dec 16, 2007 by DT1221
	My epiphany today (Preview) I had an epiphany today which came to me through my dreams. Ive been struggling these past few weeks with a loss Ive been experiencing. I am losing a friend who has meant the world to me. Theyve been like a soulmate for me. They are not dying just going away, moving on shall we say. Ive been working my progra...	Maria123	4	688	Dec 16, 2007 by wp
	JOHN (Preview) Hi John got some wierd pop up stopping us from entering the room says we have been blocked , happened several times and finally got in . peg , mae and ncc said it was happening to them too .	abbyal	1	372	Dec 16, 2007 by shadow1
	Struggling today, prayers please. (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Hubby and I are both struggling today and could use some prayers. His spinning thoughts are coming back and his psychiatrist has left. We can still get meds, but we need someone like her to help him. I'm struggling because I am tired emotionally and physically. Cal...	Karilynn	19	624	Dec 16, 2007 by Becky1
	A Lesson Learned (Preview) Hi, I am new to this but would really like to stress a hard lesson that I have learned on my journey to recover from my addict in my life. Unfortunately she happens to be the only child I have, and it has been a hard long road in coming to the point of Letting Go and Letting God. The bottom line is she has to want...	Jen4Recovery	8	820	Dec 16, 2007 by Jen4Recovery
	Self-esteem (Preview) Has anyone else here been willing to do ANYTHING for someone only to be rejected- I mean let him use, give him money and a place to stay, etc.- for him to only consistently reject you and pick other women- some who are okay and some really crazy? I mean can someone sense your powerlessness and insecurity...	Codependent	6	656	Dec 16, 2007 by Codependent
	Picture of My New Granddaughter (Preview) Here is Miss Delilah Paisley, born Nov. 26, 2007. Three weeks early. Weighing in at a whopping 4 lbs. 11 oz. 18.5 inches long. She was born natural, I was standing by my daughter's left foot when she was born! OMG! First birth I had actually seen, and I was not wanting to be THAT close. I was wanting t...	Becky1	8	652	Dec 16, 2007 by Karilynn
	I went to a party tonight... (Preview) ...and I came home with Mr. Perfect. I really did! He has a great smile and is well dressed. He is just a doll, and when you squeeze his hand he says things like "Honey, I hope we can spend the holidays with your family again this year", "Baby I've arranged a spa day for you next Sat. at you...	Loupiness	3	614	Dec 16, 2007 by Jerry F
	Just don't get it... (Preview) Hello family, I just don't get! How do I make a searching and moral inventory of myself and my behaviour when I do not understand what a moral inventory is? I understand moral, but it is getting it all down as a moral inventory that is screwing me up. If I say I am compassionate - and the qualification behi...	Heartbroken	6	639	Dec 15, 2007 by nmike
	friend who was alcoholic killed himself... (Preview) Just wanted to ask for prayers on behalf of the wife and 2 daughters of a friend from church who shot and killed himself night before last. He was a struggling alcoholic, sober sometimes and sometimes not. Apparently his wife heard the gunshot and found him. She is a dear angel of a woman, and one of th...	lmt123	10	704	Dec 15, 2007 by nmike
	sadness (Preview) After speaking to the A this morning I feel enormously sad that I wasted so much time on someone who really just wants to manipulate me. I really played into all his manipulations. He does not care about me or the dogs. He does not even ask after them. One of my dogs was out missing for 2 days, she could have...	maresie	2	296	Dec 15, 2007 by Jean4444
	I am brand new and in need of help (Preview) I am brand new here and need lots of help. I attended my first al-anon meeting last friday. I am kind of confused at they said that I need to get helathy and that there is nothing I can do about my alcholic husband. I have 2 young children 4 and 2 years old. My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago and I know that he is a...	Mabeleileen	13	728	Dec 15, 2007 by Jean4444
	Not caring (Preview) I was at a meeting recently where a woman said her sole concern before al-anon was that of the happiness of her husband and now she could care less whether he was happy or not because she knew this was none of her business. That his happiness was his concern, not hers. Although I found this really harsh I al...	Jean4444	7	700	Dec 15, 2007 by NightWatcher
	A letter to My Mother (Preview) Sorry i deleted this post. Wrote a long vent when i reread it i realized how in appropriate it was for here please accept my apology. I was angry and vented instantly not good for me to do. Love yas tho.. Merry Christmas kerry -- Edited by kerry5 at 15:45, 2007-12-15	kerry5	1	394	Dec 15, 2007 by NightWatcher
	What exactly is the disease? (Preview) I was just reading the post about dry drunks and it all being the disease. So now I have been mulling that around for a moment and find it very interesting. One of you said that drinking or not it's the disease, so what exactly is this disease. The more I think about it and watch A's and read about others'...	carolinagirl	22	876	Dec 15, 2007 by Karilynn
	why questions? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've read the posts and was wondering if someone had some insight. Lately, and I'm sure that the upcoming holiday has a lot to do with this, I've been asking too many why questions. I haven't understood why the alcoholic does what he does, such as.......why did he cheat?.....why didn't h...	grateful	7	607	Dec 15, 2007 by canadianguy
	ahhhh now I really "get" it! (Preview) The A well MOST A's hang on to us and who ever, just in case they hit a bad spot. In their mind they are always plotting how to get their drug again. Then pops in mom is out of vicodin, I can call deb and offer to do work up there,she will pay me.... When we cut them off 100%, we are off the list of who they can use. Th...	debilyn	3	900	Dec 15, 2007 by leo
	Looking for member "Alateen" nick (Preview) Alateen, I found the info we were discussing on Thursday. There are 3 website addresses I will be glad to give you on PM when we meet again in the chat room. Mspw	wp	0	345	Dec 14, 2007 by wp
	paranoia (Preview) Is paranoia related to the alcohol? I just assumed that was why my abf acted the way he did. The accusations just get to me for some reason and I know they aren't true, but then I sit there and wonder did i do that? He has a story that we met so many years ago, he asked me out, I said no so he bad mouthed me to ev...	dgm	3	362	Dec 14, 2007 by Jean4444
	new to the board (Preview) I can't even make it through a post without crying, I can now see that I'm not alone. I feel like my life has been ripped apart over the past year. I starting dating a guy a year and a half ago. I knew he liked to drink, but I never knew what alcoholism really was, but I found out. We had fun for a couple of weeks...	dgm	8	671	Dec 14, 2007 by Jean4444
	redirect (Preview) I was warned not to let the finances get sloppy from a fortune cookie. Well, they have gotten sloppy. I in charge of all of them and I am not an accountant. I feel an ulcer coming on. Redirect: This time last year I didn't even have a job. AH worked part time and I had little to no financial control. I had no fri...	RainyJamie	1	343	Dec 14, 2007 by Lunamoth
	comfort with discomfort (Preview) This week I have been looking at how I interact around 2 of my housemates. One of them alternatively is friendly and then dimissive and even at times rude. The other one has completely shut down. There isn't one single day I don't want to stand on my head to interact with either of them. I dont' of course. I...	maresie	1	378	Dec 14, 2007 by Jean4444
	Misinterpretation (Preview) This summer the A was gone for 2 months living in the truck somewhere. I did not hear from him. He got a new phone number which he did not give to me. Two months ago the A got kicked out of where he was staying. I had stopped paying his rent for him in September. He came up with something for September and by O...	maresie	1	342	Dec 14, 2007 by QOD
	It is okay to love my husband (Preview) Hi all, I spent part of this weekend with my husband. We haven't spent much time together since the beginning of November. And I made a discovery, it is ok to love my husband. Now that may not be huge news to some, but for me that was a huge discovery. And what I also discovered, was that it is okay to love him a...	Mandy123	9	550	Dec 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	Looking for his bottles (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I am always trying to understand my AHsober and rationalize his actions. This is our third year of separation. It isn't getting any better. This disease is progressive whether they are drinking or not. When I go to meetings or read your posts and there is active drinking I understand. I c...	nmike	4	626	Dec 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	State al-anon assemblies (Preview) I need to get something off my chest I spent last weekend attending an al-anon state assembly which was OK but also kind of depressing because of all the rah-rah al-anon speak from the majority of the people there and the "program" presented. It generates this wall that verges on being...	Jean4444	4	598	Dec 13, 2007 by Jean4444
	Alcoholic #2 (Preview) Sorry, this turned into a very long post. Guess I had a lot to say lol. After my divorce, a very good friend of mine asked me up to her father's house on Lake Lanier. They were having a family reunion and it would be a good opportunity for some R&R finally. I accepted and we went for a few days. Her co...	texasproud2005	4	623	Dec 13, 2007 by texasproud2005
	Thanks to this site and alanon principles (Preview) A year and half ago, I found this site in desperation. At that point I lacked focus, my work was incoherent and my life was unmanageable. Today I got the news from my supervisor that my outline is coherent, and he wants to know when I can submit my work. I am grateful to this site for allowing me to express a l...	maire rua	2	530	Dec 13, 2007 by debilyn
	Double Winners? (Preview) I have to start off by saying I don't care for the term. I've been referred to as a DW, but I don't feel like I've "won" anything. That would imply some talent on my part, when all I've done is show up and be willing. I consider my sobriety, and my Alanon program gifts to be just that - gifts. I d...	barisax	8	961	Dec 13, 2007 by Jen
	Dying to the Old Life (Preview) Hi, Family yet to know. I am a gay man who goes by the name of "Euoria," on here. Though it may seem like a female name, it's actually a noun; a unique one. It is the shortest word in English that contains all the vowels and it's meaning is what is important to me: 'beautiful thinking.' My th...	Euoria	13	730	Dec 13, 2007 by maresie
	Isolation and Lonliness (Preview) This has been an ongoing issue for me. I honestly don't feel like I isolate myself, I just feel that people aren't friendly here. Also, that I'm too needy and don't have time for other people because of my hectic schedule. Now this is partially true but here's my issue. I have been in North Carolina for...	carolinagirl	9	696	Dec 13, 2007 by maresie
	How to start.... (Preview) I don't really know how to start this one.....or really what I am going to say so bare with me. I ended things w/my ex-AH AGAIN a couple of weeks ago. We got into a huge fight...rather he did and I refused to participate, which made him even more mad. So he stayed out of the picture for a week and a half. Th...	QOD	3	522	Dec 13, 2007 by maresie
	Thanks for the Help (Preview) Hi ((((Family))))) Just wanted to say thanks again to those of you who responded to my call for "ya may be an alanonic" anectdotes about a month ago. This last Saturday evening I attended the AA christmas party and told my story to about 70-80 members of the fellowship. I used several of you...	david62	2	430	Dec 13, 2007 by maresie
	New- Has anyone used with their "A" (Preview) I am new to this site and I am still trying to find my place. I am just interested to see if anyone has ever used with their A? I have a 13yr addiction/obsession with the father of my child. This started when I was 18 years old. He went from alcohol to drugs to now IV drugs. I am also the child of both an alco...	Codependent	8	1411	Dec 13, 2007 by maresie
	Happy Update (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you are all well I haven't been here in so long, in fact I haven't even been to many f2f meetings, too much has been going on and changing. But I have been holding on to my thoughts and readings and prayers. My divorce will be final December 12th. I finally did it! It has been 10 months of a l...	Jeannie	6	478	Dec 13, 2007 by Jeannie
	Hi, I'm new here (Preview) Hi everyone. I can't say I'm happy to be joining a board such as this, but am glad to know there are kind and supportive people to help me through this part of my life. I'm going to post two topics. This will be a little about me and my history to how I got to where I am today. My maternal grandfather was an alc...	texasproud2005	4	603	Dec 13, 2007 by carolinagirl
	charactor defects up there in my face and fanning the flames (Preview) It is no secret that I feel deprived and lonely at this time. I saw a coat yesterday I really do like but the price tag is way beyond my budget. I know in the past I would find some excuse to buy it and then blame the A. Of course I spent years giving to him I didn't buy a stitch of new clothing or any kind of clot...	maresie	5	661	Dec 13, 2007 by optimistundone
	sad sad time (Preview) Thoughts are everywhere. Very difficult lately, crying all the time-almost 5 mos since A BF died . I still look at his picture and cannot believe he isn't going to walk in the door any minute. Can't believe this really happened. Depressed. I want to talk to him about this so bad, sad he cannot see how o...	klm4446	11	679	Dec 12, 2007 by kissers
	vent (Preview) Hi Everyone, It has been a long time since i have posted. It is the third year without my mother. It is not hard living without her now because i know she is where she wanted to be. I will tell you that when she was alive feels like another lifetime ago. I dont like letting my feelings out so much but sometimes...	kerry5	7	593	Dec 12, 2007 by Jean4444
	Sponsorship (Preview) I am looking for an online sponsor. If you have any suggests for me to find someone to help me with this, please let me know. I thought that maybe I should give you some background information on me. I have been with this program for almost 4 months now and I am totally dedicated in recovery. My AH is act...	Tammy2	9	438	Dec 12, 2007 by Tammy2
	arguing (Preview) I used to spend a lot of time arguing with the A. I would do that a lot at Christmas. He always went to his mother's for most of the day and I felt left out. I did not have a program then. I live in a house with lots of dysfuncitonal people, Christmas is a day they act out. I plan to be out of here at a movie. I have...	maresie	4	391	Dec 12, 2007 by maresie
	Trust... . (Preview) Not sure how to start or word this so going to just write what come in my head and hopefully anyone who reads can make sence of it... First let me say that I have been in program for just over 4 years now... and have heard some things like this over time but never experienced myself till this week... I have bee...	NightWatcher	10	633	Dec 12, 2007 by Jean4444
	Vengance and revenge of the A's (Preview) I have often wondered how low hubby would sink. Well today I discovered. We seperated in September, and it's been very awkward since. He ended up bieng arrested for DUI and breach of the peace in November, after we reported him. How does he get his own back?? He asked me to take his bagpipes and meet h...	NCC1701	8	668	Dec 12, 2007 by maire rua
	Letter to my ex-AH's sponser (Preview) Nothing I intend to send, just need to get it out of my head. It is to ex's last 3 or 4 sponsers. Coincidently, the only one that really worked for ex, helped keep him sober for 2 years, helped him repair damage done to me and the kids and genuinely seemed to love him was also a very active member of alanon....	serendipity	7	733	Dec 12, 2007 by NightWatcher
	I have a question (Preview) I have been thinking about volunteering to be a speaker at my ftf meeting. I am not very good at putting into words what I want to say. Is it ok if I use some sharing from the posts on this board or is that against the rules? Gail	Gailey	9	647	Dec 12, 2007 by barisax
	In Search Of A Sponsor (Preview) I was wondering if anyone is able to be my sponsor. I am in desperate need of help and need to start working the steps of this program. My life is out of control and I can no longer tolerate this pain any longer. I am looking forward to being fully dedicated to this program and all it has to offer. Thanks and I l...	TXGirl	1	321	Dec 12, 2007 by SLS
	control (Preview) Control was a huge issue in the relationship with the A. The more out of control his addiciton was the more he tried to control me. He would even insist when and if I watched tv and he always had some huge saga about what I was doing and what I spent my money on. In fact he never regarded as my money it was his f...	maresie	2	366	Dec 12, 2007 by maresie
	HOLY MOLY!!! (Preview) Saturday morning started out very calm. Ah comes in with a Christmas tree. Rather than asking for permission or how long he was planning on staying, I said I was going to go shopping while he and the kids decorated for Christmas. I left him with pine needles all over the floor and boxes of ornaments. O...	Loupiness	7	660	Dec 12, 2007 by NightWatcher
	beagle love (Preview) 4 years ago the A was working someplace (that was in the days he was working). He met a little beagle dog ( agirl) that had been abandoned. He said that it was for him love at first sight. He took one look at her and he was a goner. He brought her home one night, she was such a state, thin, scared, she had an in...	maresie	6	612	Dec 12, 2007 by Diva
	My meeting last night (and apology) (Preview) I am so very sorry if my last post to my ex's sponsers offended anyone. The co-dependent in me has been thinking that I might have hurt some feelings but that was not at all my intention. I mean, it was my intention to hurt ex's sponser's feelings with what I said. But I was saying it here where they will neve...	serendipity	6	804	Dec 12, 2007 by Jean4444
	Apprehensive About Trying Again w/AH (Preview) Hello: I posted a while back to introduce myself. Sorry - I can't remember how long ago - perhaps 3 weeks or less. I read the posts frequently in hopes of coming across one that addresses my current situation. My AH went into a 30-day rehab around 4 months ago. I have been separated from him for 5 months...	stormie	5	547	Dec 12, 2007 by Loupiness
	Looking for a place to start (Preview) Sorry if this is too long, but I'm not sure where to go with this, so I'll just lay it all out as best I can. My aunt was a regular pot smoker for several years, and recently had to give it up due to being arrested and convicted for possesion with intent. She was a successful business owner, but the business...	Shamu89	4	590	Dec 11, 2007 by Shamu89
	Need ESH on f2f meetings (Preview) My home group meeting and an AA meeting were aparently started by an AA/Al-Anon couple. She(alanon) has recently been unable to attend due to a new work schedule, but he is still running the AA meeting. Our Alanon group has now finally been registered with WSO, but we are starting to get interference f...	Jen	3	563	Dec 11, 2007 by Jen
	Gotta Vent (Preview) No need to respond - just gotta vent: I AM SO SICK OF THE SMELL OF BEER!!!!!!!! Thank-you. J	Gotta_Vent	10	410	Dec 11, 2007 by Lookingforpeace
	seeing myself on film (Preview) This weekend when I was in bed nursing my flu I watched a film called Owning Mahoney about a compulsive gambler starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Minnie Driver plays his girlfriend. I saw so much of me in the girlfriend. I really do not want to see it but I have to put it out there that this is my behavio...	maresie	3	566	Dec 11, 2007 by carolinagirl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.