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sadness
(Preview)
After speaking to the A this morning I feel enormously sad that I wasted so much time on someone who really just wants to manipulate me. I really played into all his manipulations. He does not care about me or the dogs. He does not even ask after them. One of my dogs was out missing for 2 days, she could have...
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maresie
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2
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262
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I am brand new and in need of help
(Preview)
I am brand new here and need lots of help. I attended my first al-anon meeting last friday. I am kind of confused at they said that I need to get helathy and that there is nothing I can do about my alcholic husband. I have 2 young children 4 and 2 years old. My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago and I know that he is a...
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Mabeleileen
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13
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689
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Not caring
(Preview)
I was at a meeting recently where a woman said her sole concern before al-anon was that of the happiness of her husband and now she could care less whether he was happy or not because she knew this was none of her business. That his happiness was his concern, not hers. Although I found this really harsh I al...
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Jean4444
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7
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668
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A letter to My Mother
(Preview)
Sorry i deleted this post. Wrote a long vent when i reread it i realized how in appropriate it was for here please accept my apology. I was angry and vented instantly not good for me to do. Love yas tho.. Merry Christmas kerry -- Edited by kerry5 at 15:45, 2007-12-15
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kerry5
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1
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362
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What exactly is the disease?
(Preview)
I was just reading the post about dry drunks and it all being the disease. So now I have been mulling that around for a moment and find it very interesting. One of you said that drinking or not it's the disease, so what exactly is this disease. The more I think about it and watch A's and read about others'...
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carolinagirl
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22
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836
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why questions?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I've read the posts and was wondering if someone had some insight. Lately, and I'm sure that the upcoming holiday has a lot to do with this, I've been asking too many why questions. I haven't understood why the alcoholic does what he does, such as.......why did he cheat?.....why didn't h...
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grateful
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7
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577
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ahhhh now I really "get" it!
(Preview)
The A well MOST A's hang on to us and who ever, just in case they hit a bad spot. In their mind they are always plotting how to get their drug again. Then pops in mom is out of vicodin, I can call deb and offer to do work up there,she will pay me.... When we cut them off 100%, we are off the list of who they can use. Th...
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debilyn
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3
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851
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Looking for member "Alateen" nick
(Preview)
Alateen, I found the info we were discussing on Thursday. There are 3 website addresses I will be glad to give you on PM when we meet again in the chat room. Mspw
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wp
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0
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313
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paranoia
(Preview)
Is paranoia related to the alcohol? I just assumed that was why my abf acted the way he did. The accusations just get to me for some reason and I know they aren't true, but then I sit there and wonder did i do that? He has a story that we met so many years ago, he asked me out, I said no so he bad mouthed me to ev...
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dgm
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3
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330
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new to the board
(Preview)
I can't even make it through a post without crying, I can now see that I'm not alone. I feel like my life has been ripped apart over the past year. I starting dating a guy a year and a half ago. I knew he liked to drink, but I never knew what alcoholism really was, but I found out. We had fun for a couple of weeks...
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dgm
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8
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632
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redirect
(Preview)
I was warned not to let the finances get sloppy from a fortune cookie. Well, they have gotten sloppy. I in charge of all of them and I am not an accountant. I feel an ulcer coming on. Redirect: This time last year I didn't even have a job. AH worked part time and I had little to no financial control. I had no fri...
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RainyJamie
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1
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311
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comfort with discomfort
(Preview)
This week I have been looking at how I interact around 2 of my housemates. One of them alternatively is friendly and then dimissive and even at times rude. The other one has completely shut down. There isn't one single day I don't want to stand on my head to interact with either of them. I dont' of course. I...
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maresie
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1
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342
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Misinterpretation
(Preview)
This summer the A was gone for 2 months living in the truck somewhere. I did not hear from him. He got a new phone number which he did not give to me. Two months ago the A got kicked out of where he was staying. I had stopped paying his rent for him in September. He came up with something for September and by O...
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maresie
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1
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310
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It is okay to love my husband
(Preview)
Hi all, I spent part of this weekend with my husband. We haven't spent much time together since the beginning of November. And I made a discovery, it is ok to love my husband. Now that may not be huge news to some, but for me that was a huge discovery. And what I also discovered, was that it is okay to love him a...
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Mandy123
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9
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512
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Looking for his bottles
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, I am always trying to understand my AHsober and rationalize his actions. This is our third year of separation. It isn't getting any better. This disease is progressive whether they are drinking or not. When I go to meetings or read your posts and there is active drinking I understand. I c...
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nmike
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4
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587
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State al-anon assemblies
(Preview)
I need to get something off my chest
I spent last weekend attending an al-anon state assembly which was OK but also kind of depressing because of all the rah-rah al-anon speak from the majority of the people there and the "program" presented.
It generates this wall that verges on being...
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Jean4444
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4
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566
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Alcoholic #2
(Preview)
Sorry, this turned into a very long post. Guess I had a lot to say lol. After my divorce, a very good friend of mine asked me up to her father's house on Lake Lanier. They were having a family reunion and it would be a good opportunity for some R&R finally. I accepted and we went for a few days. Her co...
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texasproud2005
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4
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587
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Thanks to this site and alanon principles
(Preview)
A year and half ago, I found this site in desperation. At that point I lacked focus, my work was incoherent and my life was unmanageable. Today I got the news from my supervisor that my outline is coherent, and he wants to know when I can submit my work. I am grateful to this site for allowing me to express a l...
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maire rua
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2
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494
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Double Winners?
(Preview)
I have to start off by saying I don't care for the term. I've been referred to as a DW, but I don't feel like I've "won" anything. That would imply some talent on my part, when all I've done is show up and be willing. I consider my sobriety, and my Alanon program gifts to be just that - gifts. I d...
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barisax
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8
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917
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Dying to the Old Life
(Preview)
Hi, Family yet to know.
I am a gay man who goes by the name of "Euoria," on here. Though it may seem like a female
name, it's actually a noun; a unique one. It is the shortest word in English that contains all the vowels and it's meaning is what is important to me: 'beautiful thinking.'
My th...
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Euoria
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13
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689
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Isolation and Lonliness
(Preview)
This has been an ongoing issue for me. I honestly don't feel like I isolate myself, I just feel that people aren't friendly here. Also, that I'm too needy and don't have time for other people because of my hectic schedule. Now this is partially true but here's my issue. I have been in North Carolina for...
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carolinagirl
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9
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658
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How to start....
(Preview)
I don't really know how to start this one.....or really what I am going to say so bare with me. I ended things w/my ex-AH AGAIN a couple of weeks ago. We got into a huge fight...rather he did and I refused to participate, which made him even more mad. So he stayed out of the picture for a week and a half. Th...
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QOD
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3
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490
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Thanks for the Help
(Preview)
Hi ((((Family))))) Just wanted to say thanks again to those of you who responded to my call for "ya may be an alanonic" anectdotes about a month ago. This last Saturday evening I attended the AA christmas party and told my story to about 70-80 members of the fellowship. I used several of you...
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david62
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2
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397
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New- Has anyone used with their "A"
(Preview)
I am new to this site and I am still trying to find my place. I am just interested to see if anyone has ever used with their A? I have a 13yr addiction/obsession with the father of my child. This started when I was 18 years old. He went from alcohol to drugs to now IV drugs. I am also the child of both an alco...
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Codependent
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8
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1341
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Happy Update
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I hope you are all well I haven't been here in so long, in fact I haven't even been to many f2f meetings, too much has been going on and changing. But I have been holding on to my thoughts and readings and prayers. My divorce will be final December 12th. I finally did it! It has been 10 months of a l...
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Jeannie
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6
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446
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Hi, I'm new here
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I can't say I'm happy to be joining a board such as this, but am glad to know there are kind and supportive people to help me through this part of my life. I'm going to post two topics. This will be a little about me and my history to how I got to where I am today. My maternal grandfather was an alc...
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texasproud2005
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4
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568
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charactor defects up there in my face and fanning the flames
(Preview)
It is no secret that I feel deprived and lonely at this time. I saw a coat yesterday I really do like but the price tag is way beyond my budget. I know in the past I would find some excuse to buy it and then blame the A. Of course I spent years giving to him I didn't buy a stitch of new clothing or any kind of clot...
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maresie
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5
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612
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sad sad time
(Preview)
Thoughts are everywhere. Very difficult lately, crying all the time-almost 5 mos since A BF died . I still look at his picture and cannot believe he isn't going to walk in the door any minute. Can't believe this really happened. Depressed. I want to talk to him about this so bad, sad he cannot see how o...
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klm4446
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11
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642
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vent
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, It has been a long time since i have posted. It is the third year without my mother. It is not hard living without her now because i know she is where she wanted to be. I will tell you that when she was alive feels like another lifetime ago. I dont like letting my feelings out so much but sometimes...
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kerry5
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7
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549
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Sponsorship
(Preview)
I am looking for an online sponsor. If you have any suggests for me to find someone to help me with this, please let me know. I thought that maybe I should give you some background information on me. I have been with this program for almost 4 months now and I am totally dedicated in recovery. My AH is act...
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Tammy2
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9
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406
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arguing
(Preview)
I used to spend a lot of time arguing with the A. I would do that a lot at Christmas. He always went to his mother's for most of the day and I felt left out. I did not have a program then. I live in a house with lots of dysfuncitonal people, Christmas is a day they act out. I plan to be out of here at a movie. I have...
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maresie
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4
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355
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Trust... .
(Preview)
Not sure how to start or word this so going to just write what come in my head and hopefully anyone who reads can make sence of it... First let me say that I have been in program for just over 4 years now... and have heard some things like this over time but never experienced myself till this week... I have bee...
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NightWatcher
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10
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597
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Vengance and revenge of the A's
(Preview)
I have often wondered how low hubby would sink. Well today I discovered. We seperated in September, and it's been very awkward since. He ended up bieng arrested for DUI and breach of the peace in November, after we reported him. How does he get his own back?? He asked me to take his bagpipes and meet h...
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NCC1701
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8
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634
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Letter to my ex-AH's sponser
(Preview)
Nothing I intend to send, just need to get it out of my head. It is to ex's last 3 or 4 sponsers. Coincidently, the only one that really worked for ex, helped keep him sober for 2 years, helped him repair damage done to me and the kids and genuinely seemed to love him was also a very active member of alanon....
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serendipity
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7
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697
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I have a question
(Preview)
I have been thinking about volunteering to be a speaker at my ftf meeting. I am not very good at putting into words what I want to say. Is it ok if I use some sharing from the posts on this board or is that against the rules? Gail
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Gailey
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9
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616
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In Search Of A Sponsor
(Preview)
I was wondering if anyone is able to be my sponsor. I am in desperate need of help and need to start working the steps of this program. My life is out of control and I can no longer tolerate this pain any longer. I am looking forward to being fully dedicated to this program and all it has to offer. Thanks and I l...
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TXGirl
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1
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292
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control
(Preview)
Control was a huge issue in the relationship with the A. The more out of control his addiciton was the more he tried to control me. He would even insist when and if I watched tv and he always had some huge saga about what I was doing and what I spent my money on. In fact he never regarded as my money it was his f...
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maresie
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2
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336
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HOLY MOLY!!!
(Preview)
Saturday morning started out very calm. Ah comes in with a Christmas tree. Rather than asking for permission or how long he was planning on staying, I said I was going to go shopping while he and the kids decorated for Christmas. I left him with pine needles all over the floor and boxes of ornaments. O...
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Loupiness
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7
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628
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beagle love
(Preview)
4 years ago the A was working someplace (that was in the days he was working). He met a little beagle dog ( agirl) that had been abandoned. He said that it was for him love at first sight. He took one look at her and he was a goner. He brought her home one night, she was such a state, thin, scared, she had an in...
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maresie
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6
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576
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My meeting last night (and apology)
(Preview)
I am so very sorry if my last post to my ex's sponsers offended anyone. The co-dependent in me has been thinking that I might have hurt some feelings but that was not at all my intention. I mean, it was my intention to hurt ex's sponser's feelings with what I said. But I was saying it here where they will neve...
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serendipity
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6
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773
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Apprehensive About Trying Again w/AH
(Preview)
Hello: I posted a while back to introduce myself. Sorry - I can't remember how long ago - perhaps 3 weeks or less. I read the posts frequently in hopes of coming across one that addresses my current situation. My AH went into a 30-day rehab around 4 months ago. I have been separated from him for 5 months...
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stormie
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5
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511
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Looking for a place to start
(Preview)
Sorry if this is too long, but I'm not sure where to go with this, so I'll just lay it all out as best I can. My aunt was a regular pot smoker for several years, and recently had to give it up due to being arrested and convicted for possesion with intent. She was a successful business owner, but the business...
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Shamu89
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4
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553
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Need ESH on f2f meetings
(Preview)
My home group meeting and an AA meeting were aparently started by an AA/Al-Anon couple. She(alanon) has recently been unable to attend due to a new work schedule, but he is still running the AA meeting. Our Alanon group has now finally been registered with WSO, but we are starting to get interference f...
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Jen
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3
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525
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Gotta Vent
(Preview)
No need to respond - just gotta vent: I AM SO SICK OF THE SMELL OF BEER!!!!!!!! Thank-you. J
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Gotta_Vent
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10
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370
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seeing myself on film
(Preview)
This weekend when I was in bed nursing my flu I watched a film called Owning Mahoney about a compulsive gambler starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Minnie Driver plays his girlfriend. I saw so much of me in the girlfriend. I really do not want to see it but I have to put it out there that this is my behavio...
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maresie
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3
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528
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Prayer Request
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I applied for a part-time job and it did not work out. I have been looking for a different full-time job with a higher salary, but haven't seen any. I figured most companies don't hire during the holidays. Something told me to look at a State job, so I did just that and stumbled upon a job that...
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kissers
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6
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423
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Update
(Preview)
I'm alive, thanks for all the concern! All my kids and I have been sick for the past week plus my youngest turned 6 yesterday and I have been working (with pharmaceutical enhancement) to get enough cash in for the birthday and bills. So, it's been busy times for me lately and today is the first day I have...
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carolinagirl
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3
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388
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Need detachment/sanity advice
(Preview)
Brief background: A bf currently living overseas, relapses over Thanksgiving. Contacts me two weeks later (this past weekend) to tell me he's getting help and realizes that he can't be in a relationship. Really needs to take care of himself. Progam. All that. This is a man I've know (off and o...
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round3
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4
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686
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How to trust him?
(Preview)
Well, it was a good weekend! over 60 hours sober so far! This is great news and I am excited. But I am having a hard time trusting him! Everytime he goes to buy cigarettes, or gets gas, or goes to a friends, I feel as though he cheated on me. I am catching myself looking in all his hiding places to see if he bough...
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acaporali
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6
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615
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over involvement
(Preview)
In some ways living in the crazy house I am currenlty living in is a great great test of my previous over involvement. One of my room mates just lost his job. He's not looking for another. He put in one applicaiton and says he is going to wait around and see if that works. In the past I would be on top of someon...
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maresie
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3
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342
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XMAs Party
(Preview)
In the last 2 months my AH has spent a week in a locked down detox facility, gotten a DUI, for which he has until 12/19 to get in a Court ordered alcohol tratment program. Last night we went to my office XMas party - very small office, only about 10 people. My boss had told me before hand that my AH was not wel...
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Chetch
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6
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512
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for god's sake!!!!!
(Preview)
Well just as I thought I was getting on with things, life was going pretty ok, managing my work, college and the house I did not feel the best but was getting there. Then crash bang wallop the chaos called my aboyf rings up! I had been doing of and the meetings we had were actually fun. I did not have any expec...
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chick29
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2
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455
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? About Healing and Time
(Preview)
My H was addicted to vicodine for 2 years. It was hell. He literally went to work and slept for the last year. I was pregnant with our second. I couldn't get him to take out the trash, screw in a light bulb, nothing. The last 6 months of the addiciton he would run out of his prescription after 2 weeks...
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optimistundone
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2
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431
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being responsible
(Preview)
I have spent much of the weekend in bed because I felt flu like. I cant say I ever really got to take care of myself around the A. If I ever was sick he always went into a huge sulk and he went out of his way to ignore me and my needs. So for me it is something of a luxury to be able to rest rest and rest. My place is not...
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maresie
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2
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416
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CarolinaGirl
(Preview)
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serendipity
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3
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277
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Lost in myself, what is real?
(Preview)
I don't know what to think or how to feel so I'll just let the swirl of thoughts out and see if I figure it out so I can get some sleep. If I can't figure it out maybe someone here can point me in one direction or another with their esh. I think it has been a run of events good, bad and dissapointing that have f...
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ddub
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3
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581
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Acceptance on my terms
(Preview)
Got a call from one of my ah's 2 best friends tonight. He was just calling to check in and see how things are going. This is one of the guys my ah goes on fishing trips with. They always drank beer together. The difference being his buddies are not alcoholics and are devoted family men. They know the scoo...
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Loupiness
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7
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579
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|
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HP's hand?
(Preview)
Well....it's happened. My A bf (who currently lives overseas) just completed a year of sobriety in November, then relapsed over Thanksgiving. He dropped out on me completely and I, of course, panicked (see my earlier posts). He finally emailed me earlier this week to tell me he was okay, and woul...
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round3
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5
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360
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rambling thoughts- new approach
(Preview)
HI all-
forgive me in advance for a long post. I am test driving some thoughts on y'all.
so, My A is back using- after 4 months of being AA poster child- he doesn't want to go to any meetings. just wants to stare at the tv, not talk. I can't freaking stand it.
I have been going to overeaters anonymous sinc...
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gknee
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4
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431
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Thank You, Everyone!
(Preview)
I am so relieved to see that I am not alone. I would appreciate any tips you might have on staying focused on my life while being supportive of my A (if he chooses to stay in this program). I have a hard time saying no to people in need, and I tend to worry about their problems as if they were my own. I reali...
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dawnie k
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4
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425
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