Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Leetle · Leetle

I am upset about something with my boyfriend who is my qualifier. I am having trouble seeing my part in it. This may seem trivial to some, but here goes.... I asked him to take two boxes and a tv to the shed in the backyard. I asked him about a week before my sister, her husband and my nephew were coming to s...

loves2read · loves2read

I am seething with anger and need to vent. Been sick with this Norwalk virus for a few days and am weak. My A is playing mind games again and it is making me very angry. A couple of days ago he accused me of faking my illness for attention. This was after the doctor diagnosed me. Yesterday he comes home f...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Last night I got another call from a bailbondsman. He says so he's a laborer right? and I say I don't know. He's silent for a minute and he says you're his wife and you don't know what he does? and I say we have been separated for about 15 months, I have no idea what he's doing. So he says, well I guess there...

loves2read · loves2read

Hi...I'm new here and am seeking support so I don't lose my mind. I've been in an on/off relationship with my A for almost a decade. My A comes from a household where the mother is the A and he is the only child. I'm an early 30s female living with chronic illness and I come from a family where my father was an a...

maresie · maresie

my two dogs are such happy dogs these days. They don't flinch, shake or shudder like they used to. There were plenty of days when they hid behind the sofa with the A screaming the place down. I felt absolutely dreadful then. After one year of the A putting them through homlessness, leaving them alone...

pogache · pogache

I have just joined this board, and I am so happy to have found it. I am the mother of 2 and step mother to 2, my Ex Husband is an A who still believes he doesnt have a problem. I covered his drinking as best I could and made excuses for years until I finally had enough last year and took the kids and left. My fav...

maresie · maresie

One of the key issues with the A was he was never able to be in reality. One of my core issues is that I find it hard to be where I am. Right now my goal is to try to get more stability in my life. I need a regular job with benefits. I need a more organized existence. I need support from people who can give it. I need...

Gailey · Gailey

Where are you???? Are you still here with us? Gail

ddub · ddub

my ah is well known in our location so folks know me that I don't know which made me pretty skitterish about going to al anon. Went out of town until I learned al anon was about me and confidentiality really does happen in al anon. Have run into a few acquaintenances at the local f2f mtgs but this week I w...

loves2read · loves2read

Just wondering how many others have had their A offer to go to Alanon with them? Mine has in the past and it makes me uncomfortable. He went with me to one meeting and after that I wanted to keep on going - but alone. He lied at the meeting, I didn't say anything but we both knew he was not telling the truth w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

He's back in jail again. Merry Christmas... All I can say is that I'm glad it doesn't affect me like it did anymore. I don't have to rely on him for a paycheck and scramble to figure out how to bail him out before he loses his job, etc. The strange thing was that I found out by calls from bail bonds places. ...

MikeM · MikeM

hello forum, First of i apologize for a detailed story, but I dont know of any other way to get some answers. I am new, for i am seeking answers. My g/f has been sober for well over 40 days now. She has been taking Antabuse for the duriation of her sobriety. A few weeks ago, she consumed an unknown amou...

klm4446 · klm4446

I am reading a book that essentially says alcoholics have same problems that non-alcoholics do, anxieties, depressions, family and work issues etc; It goes on to say that the above is not what CAUSES an alcoholic to drink, that their disease causes them to drink then makes the aforementioned probl...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Sometimes I wonder if I am in the land of the living and whether there is a purpose to my life. It is ten days to Christmas and I have found it even harder this year to feel the spirit of Christmas invade my soul. Having managed to wrap up the few gifts I have for my children and grandchildren, posted my cards...

maresie · maresie

I think I have been pretty charitable by calling some of my house mates dysfunctional. I'd now after living there 4 months call some of them total psychopaths. They tend to act out over the holidays. So my plan is to go to a couple of movies on Christmas day. I may go to a movie with a friend on another day....

tea2 · tea2

So while taking my Son to school this morning I backed out of my parking spot - went over some snow - actually ice, heard something dragging and thought it was ice stuck under the car - pulled over and saw the front of the car hitting the ground (the protector part) and then noticed, I am leaking something t...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, you asked for it! Here is my own little Miracle in Progress, my new granddaughter, Delilah Paisley, born 3 weeks early on Nov. 26! She weighs about 5 lbs. now. Santa said she was the most tiny baby who came to see him that day. Isn't is strange how children can remind you of how precious life is, how f...

Diva · Diva

We are trying to get off to a cat show in north Texas. He (A) doesn't want to go because he has no interest in showing cats. That's ok. I can do this alone. But...he insists on going anyway. Just so he can complain about it. He just left to take one cat to the vet's office; her nails must be trimmed. SO he harrum...

John · John

Hello and Happy Holiday Season Everyone! Every Christmas I ask everyone who is listed on the Miracles In Progress message boards to help me bring a awesomely memoriable Christmas to the many newcomers in the Miracles In Progress Recovery Houses by simply sending each house member a Christmas Card,...

wbfox58 · wbfox58

Hello all... I know I haven't been seen much round here, but I've been so busy putting together a great new life. My A wife and I separated almost a year ago, and under my state's laws, I can now file for divorce. Folks, sometimes things don't work out, and that's not a bad thing. I have never been happie...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) My A is so emotionally unbalanced. He's gone from scaring me to making me worry he's going to hurt himself. In the last two months his drinking has progressed to the point of insanity. He's taking days off of work and calling them "mental" days. He doesn't want to be alo...

QOD · QOD

Ok I got my Blue Belt last night at karate. Shewweee. I was worried about breaking my board too but I did it on my first try. In fact I didn't even believe I had actually broken it until I looked up and saw the instructor hold the bottom half. Then I saw the other half on the other side of the room. LOL. Hu...

wen5454 · wen5454

I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. He is my dearest friend. He was my High School Sweetheart. Yes, Im 44 years old and found and have been with him for 9 years. He has caused my self and my kids (from another marriage) into total caoss. When we first got together he said that he was an alcoholic b...

Just For Now · Just For Now

I am new to Al-Anon and have attended seven F2F meetings since October 2007. I came upon this website and began to browse around in hopes of just finding others similar to my Alcoholic Situation. My F2F meetings are only once a week, so this looks like another option for information and being able to r...

Miranda · Miranda

Please get ahold of me on here! Send me a message...total misunderstanding and I feel horrible. I didn't know how else to get ahold of you...so please message me?

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am having a hard time doing self-inventory. Ever since I threatened to leave my marriage to H's drug addiction, he has gone off the deep end. He has been placing a lot of blame on me and finger pointing - much worse than I could do to myself. So, how do I sort out all this gunk and truly evaluate myself. ...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My ah has been sober for about 6 weeks now. It is interesting because I think I am starting to see some difference in his behavior, however, more importantly, I am feeling more detached, though admittedly still a work in progress. Last night he came over to watch a show with the kids. I had every intenti...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Hello all! I haven't posted ina long time, but often read the posts. AH's drinking is getting worse. He has been in a lot of pain lately in his stomach area. He thinks it might be an ulcer. Doesn't alcohol make it worse? He seemd to be losing a tremendous amount of weight, yet he eats quite a bit and doe...

maresie · maresie

1. The sun manages to come up without your your help. 2. Therapy finally kicks in. 3. You can stop aplogizing for what someone else did. 4. Other people can solve their own problems or not. 5. You really know you didn't cause it. 6. The statue of limitations has expired on your old mistakes. 7. You let othe...

barisax · barisax

For much of my time in both programs, I've seen and heard the "disease" debate probably hundreds of times. I understand it's a founding premise of AA, that it's something we must accept as truth in order to recover. Really? I would like to put out the notion that "disease" is a hu...

whatnow · whatnow

Hi, I'm am new and I'm not sure where to start. I am newly married and my H has issues with drinking. His family has a history of alcoholism. Background, we've been together 4 years and in the beginning it was liquor and beer and constant. Then he stopped drinking liquor and it was strictly beer. Then...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Here is a good one from my mom: My mother asks my sister what she wants for christmas. My sister tells her she want some old dishes that my mom has. My mom does not have a lot of money and does not like to spend much so my sister thought this might be a good "re-gift", etc. My mom says: "OH wha...

wp · wp

I went into Tools, options, security on puter and I blocked crown.com or whatever the name of the spam site is that was blocking me. It is in tiny print on that spam page. mspw

wp · wp

John, I am having the same problem that abbyal described. I tried twice to get into the chat room, got some kind of spam and notice I have been suspended. Will keep trying..... mspw

Maria123 · Maria123

I had an epiphany today which came to me through my dreams. Ive been struggling these past few weeks with a loss Ive been experiencing. I am losing a friend who has meant the world to me. Theyve been like a soulmate for me. They are not dying just going away, moving on shall we say. Ive been working my progra...

abbyal · abbyal

Hi John got some wierd pop up stopping us from entering the room says we have been blocked , happened several times and finally got in . peg , mae and ncc said it was happening to them too .

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Hubby and I are both struggling today and could use some prayers. His spinning thoughts are coming back and his psychiatrist has left. We can still get meds, but we need someone like her to help him. I'm struggling because I am tired emotionally and physically. Cal...

Jen4Recovery · Jen4Recovery

Hi, I am new to this but would really like to stress a hard lesson that I have learned on my journey to recover from my addict in my life. Unfortunately she happens to be the only child I have, and it has been a hard long road in coming to the point of Letting Go and Letting God. The bottom line is she has to want...

Codependent · Codependent

Has anyone else here been willing to do ANYTHING for someone only to be rejected- I mean let him use, give him money and a place to stay, etc.- for him to only consistently reject you and pick other women- some who are okay and some really crazy? I mean can someone sense your powerlessness and insecurity...

Becky1 · Becky1

Here is Miss Delilah Paisley, born Nov. 26, 2007. Three weeks early. Weighing in at a whopping 4 lbs. 11 oz. 18.5 inches long. She was born natural, I was standing by my daughter's left foot when she was born! OMG! First birth I had actually seen, and I was not wanting to be THAT close. I was wanting t...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...and I came home with Mr. Perfect. I really did! He has a great smile and is well dressed. He is just a doll, and when you squeeze his hand he says things like "Honey, I hope we can spend the holidays with your family again this year", "Baby I've arranged a spa day for you next Sat. at you...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Hello family, I just don't get! How do I make a searching and moral inventory of myself and my behaviour when I do not understand what a moral inventory is? I understand moral, but it is getting it all down as a moral inventory that is screwing me up. If I say I am compassionate - and the qualification behi...

lmt123 · lmt123

Just wanted to ask for prayers on behalf of the wife and 2 daughters of a friend from church who shot and killed himself night before last. He was a struggling alcoholic, sober sometimes and sometimes not. Apparently his wife heard the gunshot and found him. She is a dear angel of a woman, and one of th...

maresie · maresie

After speaking to the A this morning I feel enormously sad that I wasted so much time on someone who really just wants to manipulate me. I really played into all his manipulations. He does not care about me or the dogs. He does not even ask after them. One of my dogs was out missing for 2 days, she could have...

Mabeleileen · Mabeleileen

I am brand new here and need lots of help. I attended my first al-anon meeting last friday. I am kind of confused at they said that I need to get helathy and that there is nothing I can do about my alcholic husband. I have 2 young children 4 and 2 years old. My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago and I know that he is a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I was at a meeting recently where a woman said her sole concern before al-anon was that of the happiness of her husband and now she could care less whether he was happy or not because she knew this was none of her business. That his happiness was his concern, not hers. Although I found this really harsh I al...

kerry5 · kerry5

Sorry i deleted this post. Wrote a long vent when i reread it i realized how in appropriate it was for here please accept my apology. I was angry and vented instantly not good for me to do. Love yas tho.. Merry Christmas kerry -- Edited by kerry5 at 15:45, 2007-12-15

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was just reading the post about dry drunks and it all being the disease. So now I have been mulling that around for a moment and find it very interesting. One of you said that drinking or not it's the disease, so what exactly is this disease. The more I think about it and watch A's and read about others'...

grateful · grateful

Hi everyone, I've read the posts and was wondering if someone had some insight. Lately, and I'm sure that the upcoming holiday has a lot to do with this, I've been asking too many why questions. I haven't understood why the alcoholic does what he does, such as.......why did he cheat?.....why didn't h...

debilyn · debilyn

The A well MOST A's hang on to us and who ever, just in case they hit a bad spot. In their mind they are always plotting how to get their drug again. Then pops in mom is out of vicodin, I can call deb and offer to do work up there,she will pay me.... When we cut them off 100%, we are off the list of who they can use. Th...

Looking for member "Alateen" nick · wp

Alateen, I found the info we were discussing on Thursday. There are 3 website addresses I will be glad to give you on PM when we meet again in the chat room. Mspw

dgm · dgm

Is paranoia related to the alcohol? I just assumed that was why my abf acted the way he did. The accusations just get to me for some reason and I know they aren't true, but then I sit there and wonder did i do that? He has a story that we met so many years ago, he asked me out, I said no so he bad mouthed me to ev...

dgm · dgm

I can't even make it through a post without crying, I can now see that I'm not alone. I feel like my life has been ripped apart over the past year. I starting dating a guy a year and a half ago. I knew he liked to drink, but I never knew what alcoholism really was, but I found out. We had fun for a couple of weeks...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I was warned not to let the finances get sloppy from a fortune cookie. Well, they have gotten sloppy. I in charge of all of them and I am not an accountant. I feel an ulcer coming on. Redirect: This time last year I didn't even have a job. AH worked part time and I had little to no financial control. I had no fri...

maresie · maresie

This week I have been looking at how I interact around 2 of my housemates. One of them alternatively is friendly and then dimissive and even at times rude. The other one has completely shut down. There isn't one single day I don't want to stand on my head to interact with either of them. I dont' of course. I...

maresie · maresie

This summer the A was gone for 2 months living in the truck somewhere. I did not hear from him. He got a new phone number which he did not give to me. Two months ago the A got kicked out of where he was staying. I had stopped paying his rent for him in September. He came up with something for September and by O...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I spent part of this weekend with my husband. We haven't spent much time together since the beginning of November. And I made a discovery, it is ok to love my husband. Now that may not be huge news to some, but for me that was a huge discovery. And what I also discovered, was that it is okay to love him a...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I am always trying to understand my AHsober and rationalize his actions. This is our third year of separation. It isn't getting any better. This disease is progressive whether they are drinking or not. When I go to meetings or read your posts and there is active drinking I understand. I c...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I need to get something off my chest I spent last weekend attending an al-anon state assembly which was OK but also kind of depressing because of all the rah-rah al-anon speak from the majority of the people there and the "program" presented. It generates this wall that verges on being...

texasproud2005 · texasproud2005

Sorry, this turned into a very long post. Guess I had a lot to say lol. After my divorce, a very good friend of mine asked me up to her father's house on Lake Lanier. They were having a family reunion and it would be a good opportunity for some R&R finally. I accepted and we went for a few days. Her co...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What is my part in it? (Preview) I am upset about something with my boyfriend who is my qualifier. I am having trouble seeing my part in it. This may seem trivial to some, but here goes.... I asked him to take two boxes and a tv to the shed in the backyard. I asked him about a week before my sister, her husband and my nephew were coming to s...	Leetle	11	778	Dec 19, 2007 by Leetle
	Vent - I am angry (Preview) I am seething with anger and need to vent. Been sick with this Norwalk virus for a few days and am weak. My A is playing mind games again and it is making me very angry. A couple of days ago he accused me of faking my illness for attention. This was after the doctor diagnosed me. Yesterday he comes home f...	loves2read	6	615	Dec 19, 2007 by maresie
	Bail Bonds (Preview) Last night I got another call from a bailbondsman. He says so he's a laborer right? and I say I don't know. He's silent for a minute and he says you're his wife and you don't know what he does? and I say we have been separated for about 15 months, I have no idea what he's doing. So he says, well I guess there...	carolinagirl	2	376	Dec 19, 2007 by maresie
	Newbie seeking support, my story... (Preview) Hi...I'm new here and am seeking support so I don't lose my mind. I've been in an on/off relationship with my A for almost a decade. My A comes from a household where the mother is the A and he is the only child. I'm an early 30s female living with chronic illness and I come from a family where my father was an a...	loves2read	7	618	Dec 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	remorse (Preview) my two dogs are such happy dogs these days. They don't flinch, shake or shudder like they used to. There were plenty of days when they hid behind the sofa with the A screaming the place down. I felt absolutely dreadful then. After one year of the A putting them through homlessness, leaving them alone...	maresie	1	579	Dec 19, 2007 by afmom03
	I am new here ...... (Preview) I have just joined this board, and I am so happy to have found it. I am the mother of 2 and step mother to 2, my Ex Husband is an A who still believes he doesnt have a problem. I covered his drinking as best I could and made excuses for years until I finally had enough last year and took the kids and left. My fav...	pogache	8	637	Dec 19, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Starting from where I am. (Preview) One of the key issues with the A was he was never able to be in reality. One of my core issues is that I find it hard to be where I am. Right now my goal is to try to get more stability in my life. I need a regular job with benefits. I need a more organized existence. I need support from people who can give it. I need...	maresie	1	484	Dec 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	Rita G (Preview) Where are you???? Are you still here with us? Gail	Gailey	0	395	Dec 19, 2007 by Gailey
	new encounter at f2f meeting (Preview) my ah is well known in our location so folks know me that I don't know which made me pretty skitterish about going to al anon. Went out of town until I learned al anon was about me and confidentiality really does happen in al anon. Have run into a few acquaintenances at the local f2f mtgs but this week I w...	ddub	3	648	Dec 19, 2007 by Heartbroken
	Has you A offered to go to Alanon with you? (Preview) Just wondering how many others have had their A offer to go to Alanon with them? Mine has in the past and it makes me uncomfortable. He went with me to one meeting and after that I wanted to keep on going - but alone. He lied at the meeting, I didn't say anything but we both knew he was not telling the truth w...	loves2read	10	595	Dec 19, 2007 by Jen
	I got the call Sunday Night (Preview) He's back in jail again. Merry Christmas... All I can say is that I'm glad it doesn't affect me like it did anymore. I don't have to rely on him for a paycheck and scramble to figure out how to bail him out before he loses his job, etc. The strange thing was that I found out by calls from bail bonds places. ...	carolinagirl	9	655	Dec 18, 2007 by pogache
	Random seizures, caused by Antabuse? (Preview) hello forum, First of i apologize for a detailed story, but I dont know of any other way to get some answers. I am new, for i am seeking answers. My g/f has been sober for well over 40 days now. She has been taking Antabuse for the duriation of her sobriety. A few weeks ago, she consumed an unknown amou...	MikeM	12	5334	Dec 18, 2007 by round3
	Psychological vs Physiological (Preview) I am reading a book that essentially says alcoholics have same problems that non-alcoholics do, anxieties, depressions, family and work issues etc; It goes on to say that the above is not what CAUSES an alcoholic to drink, that their disease causes them to drink then makes the aforementioned probl...	klm4446	7	1690	Dec 18, 2007 by barisax
	Invisible (Preview) Sometimes I wonder if I am in the land of the living and whether there is a purpose to my life. It is ten days to Christmas and I have found it even harder this year to feel the spirit of Christmas invade my soul. Having managed to wrap up the few gifts I have for my children and grandchildren, posted my cards...	Heartbroken	10	557	Dec 18, 2007 by pogache
	Christmas time (Preview) I think I have been pretty charitable by calling some of my house mates dysfunctional. I'd now after living there 4 months call some of them total psychopaths. They tend to act out over the holidays. So my plan is to go to a couple of movies on Christmas day. I may go to a movie with a friend on another day....	maresie	1	366	Dec 18, 2007 by klm4446
	one of those ENOUGH moments (Preview) So while taking my Son to school this morning I backed out of my parking spot - went over some snow - actually ice, heard something dragging and thought it was ice stuck under the car - pulled over and saw the front of the car hitting the ground (the protector part) and then noticed, I am leaking something t...	tea2	6	662	Dec 18, 2007 by maresie
	A Christmas Angel is Here (Preview) OK, you asked for it! Here is my own little Miracle in Progress, my new granddaughter, Delilah Paisley, born 3 weeks early on Nov. 26! She weighs about 5 lbs. now. Santa said she was the most tiny baby who came to see him that day. Isn't is strange how children can remind you of how precious life is, how f...	Becky1	6	681	Dec 18, 2007 by lilms
	I get so tired of the selfishness. (Preview) We are trying to get off to a cat show in north Texas. He (A) doesn't want to go because he has no interest in showing cats. That's ok. I can do this alone. But...he insists on going anyway. Just so he can complain about it. He just left to take one cat to the vet's office; her nails must be trimmed. SO he harrum...	Diva	8	1008	Dec 18, 2007 by pogache
	MIP Recovery House Needs Christmas Cards (Preview) Hello and Happy Holiday Season Everyone! Every Christmas I ask everyone who is listed on the Miracles In Progress message boards to help me bring a awesomely memoriable Christmas to the many newcomers in the Miracles In Progress Recovery Houses by simply sending each house member a Christmas Card,...	John	8	709	Dec 18, 2007 by Jen
	It's been almost a year (Preview) Hello all... I know I haven't been seen much round here, but I've been so busy putting together a great new life. My A wife and I separated almost a year ago, and under my state's laws, I can now file for divorce. Folks, sometimes things don't work out, and that's not a bad thing. I have never been happie...	wbfox58	9	722	Dec 18, 2007 by wbfox58
	Why do I want to believe (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) My A is so emotionally unbalanced. He's gone from scaring me to making me worry he's going to hurt himself. In the last two months his drinking has progressed to the point of insanity. He's taking days off of work and calling them "mental" days. He doesn't want to be alo...	Lunamoth	10	756	Dec 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Got my Blue Belt!!! (Preview) Ok I got my Blue Belt last night at karate. Shewweee. I was worried about breaking my board too but I did it on my first try. In fact I didn't even believe I had actually broken it until I looked up and saw the instructor hold the bottom half. Then I saw the other half on the other side of the room. LOL. Hu...	QOD	8	637	Dec 18, 2007 by carolinagirl
	New Here-My Story (Preview) I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. He is my dearest friend. He was my High School Sweetheart. Yes, Im 44 years old and found and have been with him for 9 years. He has caused my self and my kids (from another marriage) into total caoss. When we first got together he said that he was an alcoholic b...	wen5454	6	660	Dec 18, 2007 by wen5454
	Finding this site (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and have attended seven F2F meetings since October 2007. I came upon this website and began to browse around in hopes of just finding others similar to my Alcoholic Situation. My F2F meetings are only once a week, so this looks like another option for information and being able to r...	Just For Now	6	632	Dec 18, 2007 by afmom03
	Treefrog!!! (Preview) Please get ahold of me on here! Send me a message...total misunderstanding and I feel horrible. I didn't know how else to get ahold of you...so please message me?	Miranda	0	463	Dec 17, 2007 by Miranda
	Question about self-inventory (Preview) I am having a hard time doing self-inventory. Ever since I threatened to leave my marriage to H's drug addiction, he has gone off the deep end. He has been placing a lot of blame on me and finger pointing - much worse than I could do to myself. So, how do I sort out all this gunk and truly evaluate myself. ...	optimistundone	7	751	Dec 17, 2007 by Jean4444
	walking away... (Preview) My ah has been sober for about 6 weeks now. It is interesting because I think I am starting to see some difference in his behavior, however, more importantly, I am feeling more detached, though admittedly still a work in progress. Last night he came over to watch a show with the kids. I had every intenti...	Loupiness	2	491	Dec 17, 2007 by debilyn
	I am really concerned about AH! (Preview) Hello all! I haven't posted ina long time, but often read the posts. AH's drinking is getting worse. He has been in a lot of pain lately in his stomach area. He thinks it might be an ulcer. Doesn't alcohol make it worse? He seemd to be losing a tremendous amount of weight, yet he eats quite a bit and doe...	desperate for help	9	829	Dec 17, 2007 by pogache
	Ten great things about recovery from someone elses addiction (brorrowed from another source) (Preview) 1. The sun manages to come up without your your help. 2. Therapy finally kicks in. 3. You can stop aplogizing for what someone else did. 4. Other people can solve their own problems or not. 5. You really know you didn't cause it. 6. The statue of limitations has expired on your old mistakes. 7. You let othe...	maresie	3	623	Dec 17, 2007 by pogache
	This Disease Thing (Preview) For much of my time in both programs, I've seen and heard the "disease" debate probably hundreds of times. I understand it's a founding premise of AA, that it's something we must accept as truth in order to recover. Really? I would like to put out the notion that "disease" is a hu...	barisax	16	993	Dec 17, 2007 by Karilynn
	New and full of questions (Preview) Hi, I'm am new and I'm not sure where to start. I am newly married and my H has issues with drinking. His family has a history of alcoholism. Background, we've been together 4 years and in the beginning it was liquor and beer and constant. Then he stopped drinking liquor and it was strictly beer. Then...	whatnow	9	864	Dec 17, 2007 by klm4446
	Examples of alcoholic games w/o the presence of any alcohol (Preview) Here is a good one from my mom: My mother asks my sister what she wants for christmas. My sister tells her she want some old dishes that my mom has. My mom does not have a lot of money and does not like to spend much so my sister thought this might be a good "re-gift", etc. My mom says: "OH wha...	Jean4444	7	734	Dec 17, 2007 by Jen
	JOHN update on entering room problem (Preview) I went into Tools, options, security on puter and I blocked crown.com or whatever the name of the spam site is that was blocking me. It is in tiny print on that spam page. mspw	wp	0	373	Dec 16, 2007 by wp
	JOHN same problem here (Preview) John, I am having the same problem that abbyal described. I tried twice to get into the chat room, got some kind of spam and notice I have been suspended. Will keep trying..... mspw	wp	1	1016	Dec 16, 2007 by DT1221
	My epiphany today (Preview) I had an epiphany today which came to me through my dreams. Ive been struggling these past few weeks with a loss Ive been experiencing. I am losing a friend who has meant the world to me. Theyve been like a soulmate for me. They are not dying just going away, moving on shall we say. Ive been working my progra...	Maria123	4	762	Dec 16, 2007 by wp
	JOHN (Preview) Hi John got some wierd pop up stopping us from entering the room says we have been blocked , happened several times and finally got in . peg , mae and ncc said it was happening to them too .	abbyal	1	468	Dec 16, 2007 by shadow1
	Struggling today, prayers please. (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Hubby and I are both struggling today and could use some prayers. His spinning thoughts are coming back and his psychiatrist has left. We can still get meds, but we need someone like her to help him. I'm struggling because I am tired emotionally and physically. Cal...	Karilynn	19	699	Dec 16, 2007 by Becky1
	A Lesson Learned (Preview) Hi, I am new to this but would really like to stress a hard lesson that I have learned on my journey to recover from my addict in my life. Unfortunately she happens to be the only child I have, and it has been a hard long road in coming to the point of Letting Go and Letting God. The bottom line is she has to want...	Jen4Recovery	8	893	Dec 16, 2007 by Jen4Recovery
	Self-esteem (Preview) Has anyone else here been willing to do ANYTHING for someone only to be rejected- I mean let him use, give him money and a place to stay, etc.- for him to only consistently reject you and pick other women- some who are okay and some really crazy? I mean can someone sense your powerlessness and insecurity...	Codependent	6	730	Dec 16, 2007 by Codependent
	Picture of My New Granddaughter (Preview) Here is Miss Delilah Paisley, born Nov. 26, 2007. Three weeks early. Weighing in at a whopping 4 lbs. 11 oz. 18.5 inches long. She was born natural, I was standing by my daughter's left foot when she was born! OMG! First birth I had actually seen, and I was not wanting to be THAT close. I was wanting t...	Becky1	8	723	Dec 16, 2007 by Karilynn
	I went to a party tonight... (Preview) ...and I came home with Mr. Perfect. I really did! He has a great smile and is well dressed. He is just a doll, and when you squeeze his hand he says things like "Honey, I hope we can spend the holidays with your family again this year", "Baby I've arranged a spa day for you next Sat. at you...	Loupiness	3	686	Dec 16, 2007 by Jerry F
	Just don't get it... (Preview) Hello family, I just don't get! How do I make a searching and moral inventory of myself and my behaviour when I do not understand what a moral inventory is? I understand moral, but it is getting it all down as a moral inventory that is screwing me up. If I say I am compassionate - and the qualification behi...	Heartbroken	6	719	Dec 15, 2007 by nmike
	friend who was alcoholic killed himself... (Preview) Just wanted to ask for prayers on behalf of the wife and 2 daughters of a friend from church who shot and killed himself night before last. He was a struggling alcoholic, sober sometimes and sometimes not. Apparently his wife heard the gunshot and found him. She is a dear angel of a woman, and one of th...	lmt123	10	774	Dec 15, 2007 by nmike
	sadness (Preview) After speaking to the A this morning I feel enormously sad that I wasted so much time on someone who really just wants to manipulate me. I really played into all his manipulations. He does not care about me or the dogs. He does not even ask after them. One of my dogs was out missing for 2 days, she could have...	maresie	2	390	Dec 15, 2007 by Jean4444
	I am brand new and in need of help (Preview) I am brand new here and need lots of help. I attended my first al-anon meeting last friday. I am kind of confused at they said that I need to get helathy and that there is nothing I can do about my alcholic husband. I have 2 young children 4 and 2 years old. My husband lost his job 2 weeks ago and I know that he is a...	Mabeleileen	13	795	Dec 15, 2007 by Jean4444
	Not caring (Preview) I was at a meeting recently where a woman said her sole concern before al-anon was that of the happiness of her husband and now she could care less whether he was happy or not because she knew this was none of her business. That his happiness was his concern, not hers. Although I found this really harsh I al...	Jean4444	7	773	Dec 15, 2007 by NightWatcher
	A letter to My Mother (Preview) Sorry i deleted this post. Wrote a long vent when i reread it i realized how in appropriate it was for here please accept my apology. I was angry and vented instantly not good for me to do. Love yas tho.. Merry Christmas kerry -- Edited by kerry5 at 15:45, 2007-12-15	kerry5	1	465	Dec 15, 2007 by NightWatcher
	What exactly is the disease? (Preview) I was just reading the post about dry drunks and it all being the disease. So now I have been mulling that around for a moment and find it very interesting. One of you said that drinking or not it's the disease, so what exactly is this disease. The more I think about it and watch A's and read about others'...	carolinagirl	22	953	Dec 15, 2007 by Karilynn
	why questions? (Preview) Hi everyone, I've read the posts and was wondering if someone had some insight. Lately, and I'm sure that the upcoming holiday has a lot to do with this, I've been asking too many why questions. I haven't understood why the alcoholic does what he does, such as.......why did he cheat?.....why didn't h...	grateful	7	681	Dec 15, 2007 by canadianguy
	ahhhh now I really "get" it! (Preview) The A well MOST A's hang on to us and who ever, just in case they hit a bad spot. In their mind they are always plotting how to get their drug again. Then pops in mom is out of vicodin, I can call deb and offer to do work up there,she will pay me.... When we cut them off 100%, we are off the list of who they can use. Th...	debilyn	3	996	Dec 15, 2007 by leo
	Looking for member "Alateen" nick (Preview) Alateen, I found the info we were discussing on Thursday. There are 3 website addresses I will be glad to give you on PM when we meet again in the chat room. Mspw	wp	0	420	Dec 14, 2007 by wp
	paranoia (Preview) Is paranoia related to the alcohol? I just assumed that was why my abf acted the way he did. The accusations just get to me for some reason and I know they aren't true, but then I sit there and wonder did i do that? He has a story that we met so many years ago, he asked me out, I said no so he bad mouthed me to ev...	dgm	3	453	Dec 14, 2007 by Jean4444
	new to the board (Preview) I can't even make it through a post without crying, I can now see that I'm not alone. I feel like my life has been ripped apart over the past year. I starting dating a guy a year and a half ago. I knew he liked to drink, but I never knew what alcoholism really was, but I found out. We had fun for a couple of weeks...	dgm	8	747	Dec 14, 2007 by Jean4444
	redirect (Preview) I was warned not to let the finances get sloppy from a fortune cookie. Well, they have gotten sloppy. I in charge of all of them and I am not an accountant. I feel an ulcer coming on. Redirect: This time last year I didn't even have a job. AH worked part time and I had little to no financial control. I had no fri...	RainyJamie	1	428	Dec 14, 2007 by Lunamoth
	comfort with discomfort (Preview) This week I have been looking at how I interact around 2 of my housemates. One of them alternatively is friendly and then dimissive and even at times rude. The other one has completely shut down. There isn't one single day I don't want to stand on my head to interact with either of them. I dont' of course. I...	maresie	1	451	Dec 14, 2007 by Jean4444
	Misinterpretation (Preview) This summer the A was gone for 2 months living in the truck somewhere. I did not hear from him. He got a new phone number which he did not give to me. Two months ago the A got kicked out of where he was staying. I had stopped paying his rent for him in September. He came up with something for September and by O...	maresie	1	430	Dec 14, 2007 by QOD
	It is okay to love my husband (Preview) Hi all, I spent part of this weekend with my husband. We haven't spent much time together since the beginning of November. And I made a discovery, it is ok to love my husband. Now that may not be huge news to some, but for me that was a huge discovery. And what I also discovered, was that it is okay to love him a...	Mandy123	9	621	Dec 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	Looking for his bottles (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I am always trying to understand my AHsober and rationalize his actions. This is our third year of separation. It isn't getting any better. This disease is progressive whether they are drinking or not. When I go to meetings or read your posts and there is active drinking I understand. I c...	nmike	4	704	Dec 14, 2007 by Karilynn
	State al-anon assemblies (Preview) I need to get something off my chest I spent last weekend attending an al-anon state assembly which was OK but also kind of depressing because of all the rah-rah al-anon speak from the majority of the people there and the "program" presented. It generates this wall that verges on being...	Jean4444	4	673	Dec 13, 2007 by Jean4444
	Alcoholic #2 (Preview) Sorry, this turned into a very long post. Guess I had a lot to say lol. After my divorce, a very good friend of mine asked me up to her father's house on Lake Lanier. They were having a family reunion and it would be a good opportunity for some R&R finally. I accepted and we went for a few days. Her co...	texasproud2005	4	711	Dec 13, 2007 by texasproud2005
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.