Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ddub · ddub

I am trying to understand this - I know I am not thinking quite right but I just don't get why or how to look at this? If what I want to do is have companionship with parent of my kids for family get togethers or functions but I can't make that choice for the other parent then how can I get that need met in anothe...

maresie · maresie

The A called me twice last night in the middle of the night. I had been thinking about him a lot lately, doing a lot of greiving. I am absolutely clear it is over between us. I do not intend to return any calls. I also do not have anything more to say to him. I always had so much raging and grieving to do toward...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm getting that feeling again that I want to make a major change in my life, a big move, change jobs, just something to throw a wrench into the rut and probably into my serenity too. I have been having a difficult time at work since being sick and am feeling that antsy need to make a big change feeling. I r...

newday · newday

I've felt for a long time my sister has had a drinking problem. Even more since I became aware of this site. I've posted several times regarding an ex-A and a recovering friend. Recently, her second marriage has crumbled due to infidelity (him). I went to visit her in November (she lives out west and I li...

serendipity · serendipity

In my meeting today we had a topic of rage. My rage is from my pain mostly. I suppose there is fear in there also but the one that is most clear is pain. My rage has lead me to do things I am not proud of. It has felt like it is beyond my control at times. Someone said anger and rage are different. That anger can be...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am really down about my marriage right now. We have been separated for 2 years (4000 miles apart) and only text one sentence daily: "good night" back and forth. That is the extent of our contact. Whenever I have tried to do more, he says he is uncomfortable with whatever I wrote or said. He...

Aloha · Aloha

Such a shame. I joined my AH at an open AA meeting last night. It was his 30-day mark. A big achievement, I think, but he's not proud of it. He doesn't know how to feel about it, I guess. Just shows me how wrapped up he got himself in drinking. Just praying to my HP and to his HP that he someday will see the...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((Family))) Well last night I really blew it. The funny thing is, the A has really been acting quite decent lately. It was all over money. We got into an argument and before I knew it, I was ragging on him about his drinking, and you all know the rest. Today, he hasn't drawn a sober breath. I know I shouldn'...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am dealing with negative flashbacks the past couple of days- really undermining. Things I had forgotten that have come back up to the surface. I know that this must be a kind of "purging" to release them. Most of them revolve around DV with my AH who I am not living with. All of these flashb...

Becky1 · Becky1

Friday night was uneventful. Thank God. Saturday, I picked up the grandbaby (she'll be 3 months old the 26 of this month) and we came back to the house, hung out with AH for a while. He wasn't drinking, he was fine. He wanted to take the baby to get an outfit....this was a HUGE step, I feel. He and my daugh...

Jen · Jen

Our neighbors have been wonderful friends to our family for the 10 years we have lived within hollering distance of them. His (my neighbors') father is in the hospital and they have learned last night that he probably only has a few days left with us. Some prayers for these good friends would be appreci...

ddub · ddub

This past week I have been sleeping so much. At first I was concerned that I was giving up, but in the end, I think that I was giving myself some overdue TLC which feels a bit uncomfortable but yet sort of nice. AH was away so I could let my guard down, relax easier and sleep sound and long. Again at first, m...

kissers · kissers

Hi roomies!! I went to a meeting recently and the speaker shared her story. She mentioned a term, "gaslighting", that was used by her ex A. I didn't know it, but that is exactly what my ex A used on me. No wonder I thought I was going crazy when he would deny his actions and verbal abuse. Here is a d...

gardengal · gardengal

I remember recieving lovely Valentines cards from my ex A, and even flowers, or a romantic dinner.....pre his drinking. Oh how special I felt and loved, needed, wanted. Those days are gone, and now I can do those things for myself, if I choose to. That is what alanon teaches us, to make ourselves feel...

Aloha · Aloha

This was said at my meeting last night, and the pain in which it was said cut through me like a knife. All it does is create pain and misery. And it's available to all. Not sure what my point is, but I agreed with this whole-heartedly.

serendipity · serendipity

I had a b-day party for my 5 yr old today. It was mostly program people. It was really nice. I was missing some of my closer friends as they couldn't make it "the regulars". I love throwing parties. We had lots of big family parties when I was a kid. Those are some of the best memories and I feel so l...

lmw · lmw

About a month ago, my A was arrested for disturbing the peace (under the influence of course), and resisting arrest, and I think for assaulting a public employee. I never looked for the full details, but I know the arresting officers used pepper spray and a taser on him - which I'm sure was well-deserv...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family))))))), I just wanted to take a moment and wish you all a HAPPY NATIONAL ALMOND DAY! Okay, okay I know what you all are thinking. Karilynn has finally gone round the bend. No, I did that a long time ago. I was having a bit of a rough day at work. Customers were driving me crazy, the b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I did rearrange the living room with the help of the odest who has also been itching to move :) Her design... Did a lot of working this weekend and getting used to the idea of losing my Fridays off to make up for all the sick time I took over the past few months. Hopefully we will all be well and have time ava...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...ok, it 09:12am Sunday morning, I have been awake now for around three hours and I have got my heart rate down and steady... I woke myself up this morning shouting out aloud, "NO!" finding myself sitting bolt upright in bed with my heart pounding and seeing both my mother and my sister stan...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My 14 yr old left this morning to go snow camping with Scouts. For the first time ever, he completely packed all his stuff and I did not double check. The only thing I did do was strongly suggest he bring one more jacket and exchange a fleece shirt for a sweatshirt that he didn't know was cotton (cause &qu...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Lately I have been noticing that I am having real trouble with not wanting to give of myself to anyone.Even at work,which is in retail, I find myself annoyed with customers who want my my help or my opinion on anything.They seem needy to me. I know it's my job to help customers but I find I just want to show t...

serenity62 · serenity62

February Business Meeting Minutes: MIP February Business Meeting: Chair opened with the Serenity Prayer, !st thing on Agenda was the Secretary Report: Secretary presented the minutes from the January Business meeting. No corrections were needed. A motion was voted on and the January M...

Zippers · Zippers

I have been in the program for a few years now. I am new to the board though. I feel as though I have run out of gas. Tonight, I went to the store to pick something up. Along the way I spot my former husband's vehicle at these apartments. The vehicle was parked right in front of an opened door apartment. ...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...see it only takes one little thing to bring me down and I am so unhappy with myself. Why did I not just say; "I love you all, I care about you and the children, however, I am not in any position to help you out financially." BECAUSE I am so scared of being the bad guy, the failure again AND BEING C...

kozmicblues · kozmicblues

hi! i'm new here..i found this while looking for al-anon's website..i'm looking to go to a meeting this weekend...anyway, i guess i should say why i joined.. my brother is an awful alcoholic. he lives with my father, my sister and i. our mother passed away when i was 17, four years ago this past december...

Gailey · Gailey

I will not pick it up!!!! I heard this in a meeting and it is sticking in my thoughts. I can only deal with things that are my business. I am losing the desire to pick up those things which do not belong to me. It is a very freeing feeling to go about life and not be concerned with what is going on in other's lives...

DANDTALWAYS · DANDTALWAYS

I NEED HELP...GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH. I AM SO BURDEN DOWN; I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM ENGAGED TO AN A. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION BUT I KEEP TAKING HIM BACK (LIKE AN IDIOT). NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND WHY IM WITH HIM BECAUSE OF ALL THE BS HE PUTS ME THROUGH....

Jen · Jen

Feeling really down tonight. I know I should be happy with how things are going . Things are working out as I give my worries to HP and let the answers come, but I am really bad about compartmentalizing (whew! that's a word to type) my life. One thing is going great because I am really working program on it a...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...ok I know I need to get this under control once and for all, and learn not to fall for it any more, but I am a real sucker 'cos I cannot let my grandchildren down and my daughter knows this and is very clever at working me on this one. I need some feedback from you guys to help me t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves. When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems see...

bev · bev

i hope everyone is having a wonderful valentines day,wish i could say i was,again i got nothing from SAH{just like birthday,our anniversary,and christmas}but that is ok im looking forward to going back up to ny to visit family,up there i will all the love that i need from my family..since SAH and i hav...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I bought my kids each a little gift for Valentines Day, but other than that didn't give it much thought. Then, I discovered it was best to keep the radio off on the way to work because the djs were making such a big deal about "love" and all, and I didn't want it to cloud my day. Okay, a red flag to...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

He cannot affect my serenity. I texted him: "happy valentines day, I love you and am thinking of you and hope you have a good day" and he emailed me back a nasty little "your text made me uncomfortable considering the state of our marriage" song and dance. He can say and feel wha...

serendipity · serendipity

I spent YEARS fighting with this program because my situation was SSSOOOO Unique that NO ONE else could possibly understand! I mean, NO ONE ever felt like I did, went thru what I did, was treated as badly as I was, had to figure out everyone else's lives like I did. And then I left this program because ther...

Becky1 · Becky1

Somedays, it feels like it. I can always depend on Ramen. I always have it on hand. It always makes me feel better, makes me slow down and take care of myself. I can be so down, and I fix a bowl of Ramen noodles, and my mood lifts. I love the way it smells, the way it feels in my mouth. I am losing weight, which...

Codependent · Codependent

Like I said I avoided the A last night when he called from jail. I just don't want to talk to him because I fear I will weaken my resolve. My feelings for him are still there. Can I continue to avoid him indefinitely or do I HAVE to have a conversation about my boundaries? Also, I know that when he hooks back u...

Katy · Katy

I just suddenly thought, has my nature been at battle with my nurture all these years, I know when I don't go along with what is my nature I don't feel good in myself, as a mature women I surely should of had all the nurturing I need by now and beable to chose my own route. I must make it a rule of thumb to be tr...

Aloha · Aloha

It is sad and scary for me to read so many posts in here about people getting divorced or expecting a divorce. I feel that way because it brings on yet another "what if..." cycle of thought patterns and projections in my own mind about my own relationship. Are relationships with A's doom...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Thank you for all your prayers. The brain scan proved I have a brain [though it may not be much of one - I am in good company with Pooh Bear!], and that there was nothing at this stage to be unduly worried about. PHEW!!!!! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!!! The Consultant informed me that he could see that BOTH e...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, since the A is in jail he is pressuring his mom to get him out for surgery. He says he wants to change, etc. She told him he could not live with her but suggested he come live with me and my son!! He responded that he would like that but wasn't sure what I would say. He wanted to talk to me when I was at he...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering. Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some dr...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Well, I was going back over the last week in "Hope for Today" and February 5's reading made me Think about thinking, and assess my ability to think positively. It says: ...this slogan is intended to help me Think before I act, making sure my actions are well thought out, not impulsive, com...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ya, don't I wish LOL!!! I have been out sick with strep throat since the 8th. I have a ton of time making up to do to get out of the hole! I am just glad to have almost all of my health back again today! Still not quite right but I sure am greatful for what I do have! Some well wishes would be appreciated in rea...

omajoy · omajoy

I just wrote a long post and deleted. My life continues with huge family problems involving semi-sober son, his EX, our grandbaby/custody/visitation, sick husband, more surgeries coming for him, etc., very ill mother and failing father 1,000 miles from me, and me trying to cope with the cancer anx...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) I've done it again. Became emotional involved with a guy. I allowed my feelings for him to get in the way of my "Inner Happiness", and as usual,I allowed him to make me happy. I done the oppisite of what I usually do, I ended the relationship with him. WHY?...

ESH · ESH

OK... I have been away for a while. Computer crashed, lost my "favorites" file, blah! blah! blah! Anyway, have been trying & trying to login, but was unable to find my sign-in name. So, I paged through and through and through all of the posts here, looking for what may be my sign-in...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) It never worked on myspace. You never added...lol PLEASE TRY AGAIN... love Ally Girl

Becky1 · Becky1

Hubby has been pestering me to death to talk, after almost 3 years of not. I don't know how to act, how to handle this revelation. Truth is, I am confused, scared, etc. I left him a 2 page scribbled note on the kitchen table on the way to work yesterday morning. Told him I was confused. How I felt shut dow...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

There's an ancient saying "To you, you may be one person in the world, but to one person, you may be the world." Or something like that. Wow, am I seeing that come true. Yesterday, I just couldn't take it. I felt like my world was caving in, and I was done. I was going to put in the paperwork t...

nmike · nmike

Well, he left three years ago. Says he wants a divorce but never has filed. I see him now and then for taxes and talk about our kids. It is obvious that he has checked out of this relationships even way before he actually left. He has been sober for over 20 years. People ask questions. I never know what to say...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I filed for the divorce on Monday. I am still quite numb, but upright. So many reasons and I had been deliberating this decision for the last 5 months. I literary could not take it one more day - one more day of being blamed, erratic behavior, constant invasion of my privacy, silent treatment, and of co...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hello alanon friends! As another day comes and goes without my AH living in the home anymore, I am slowly but surely relaxing and feeling happy for longer than ever before. I can't think of anything to worry about at the moment. I have shadows of those bad thoughts but they pass like vague memories. My he...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family))))))), Tomorrow is Valentines Day here in the states. I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day. I love you all dearly and am incredibly greatful for your love, support, strength, encouragement and amazing humor! I have learned many lessons fr...

ddub · ddub

I remember a child's book called Leo the Lop - a bunny with fall down ears and the moral of the story was there was no such thing as normal, it was what you were use to. With al anon, I understand that our normal from past or present may not have been healthy. The emotional and verbal abuse is a hard one to rec...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi family,Some of you know that my first husband of 26 was an A. He was killed in a pedestrian accident. He was at a major event here in Oregon setting up a band my second husband played bass in. Sadly he left the mountain setting,walked to the nearby tourist restaurant and drank hard stuff. Got on the hiwa...

ddub · ddub

Just plodding along the path and clearing away this and that as I stumble along. Here's one question some esh might help me take action. My anger is so comfortable at being subdued and internalised that I become afraid of everything. Strange inconsistancy as when I am confident and state the fact...

AlaMom · AlaMom

How the time flies around here. I was reviewing my profile this morning and discovered that as of this past Friday I have been a member of this site for 3 years. I think I toiled around on here for about a year before that. I wanted to let you all know that this has been an amazing journey here with you all....

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...whilst I feel that I have made progress during the last week, I am a little concerned about the hospital appointment that I have tomorrow and the brain scan - though that will not take long as I am ' a bear of little brain...'[ similar to Pooh Bear] - none-the-less, it is a little scarey. Should get th...

bev · bev

when i picked him up from work today i told him a friend of ours from ny is coming down to florida with her boys{she is taking them to orlando}and she wanted to spend a few days with us and he said he didnt care,i went to tell him that when she goes back to ny in a week i was going to ride back with her so i could be th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	healthy normal or perfect fantasy??? (Preview) I am trying to understand this - I know I am not thinking quite right but I just don't get why or how to look at this? If what I want to do is have companionship with parent of my kids for family get togethers or functions but I can't make that choice for the other parent then how can I get that need met in anothe...	ddub	5	555	Feb 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	update (Preview) The A called me twice last night in the middle of the night. I had been thinking about him a lot lately, doing a lot of greiving. I am absolutely clear it is over between us. I do not intend to return any calls. I also do not have anything more to say to him. I always had so much raging and grieving to do toward...	maresie	4	332	Feb 19, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling a strong pull to upset the apple cart (Preview) I'm getting that feeling again that I want to make a major change in my life, a big move, change jobs, just something to throw a wrench into the rut and probably into my serenity too. I have been having a difficult time at work since being sick and am feeling that antsy need to make a big change feeling. I r...	carolinagirl	6	356	Feb 19, 2008 by maresie
	Sister going through a divorce-using alcohol (Preview) I've felt for a long time my sister has had a drinking problem. Even more since I became aware of this site. I've posted several times regarding an ex-A and a recovering friend. Recently, her second marriage has crumbled due to infidelity (him). I went to visit her in November (she lives out west and I li...	newday	3	366	Feb 19, 2008 by lin0606
	anger vs. rage (Preview) In my meeting today we had a topic of rage. My rage is from my pain mostly. I suppose there is fear in there also but the one that is most clear is pain. My rage has lead me to do things I am not proud of. It has felt like it is beyond my control at times. Someone said anger and rage are different. That anger can be...	serendipity	12	5441	Feb 19, 2008 by debilyn
	Am I just trying to control? (Preview) I am really down about my marriage right now. We have been separated for 2 years (4000 miles apart) and only text one sentence daily: "good night" back and forth. That is the extent of our contact. Whenever I have tried to do more, he says he is uncomfortable with whatever I wrote or said. He...	Jean4444	8	635	Feb 18, 2008 by tiredtonite
	30 days sober and he ain't happy about it (Preview) Such a shame. I joined my AH at an open AA meeting last night. It was his 30-day mark. A big achievement, I think, but he's not proud of it. He doesn't know how to feel about it, I guess. Just shows me how wrapped up he got himself in drinking. Just praying to my HP and to his HP that he someday will see the...	Aloha	2	535	Feb 18, 2008 by Tuggboat
	I REALLY LOST IT BIG TIME (Preview) (((Family))) Well last night I really blew it. The funny thing is, the A has really been acting quite decent lately. It was all over money. We got into an argument and before I knew it, I was ragging on him about his drinking, and you all know the rest. Today, he hasn't drawn a sober breath. I know I shouldn'...	cookie1971	7	647	Feb 18, 2008 by glad lee
	flashbacks (Preview) I am dealing with negative flashbacks the past couple of days- really undermining. Things I had forgotten that have come back up to the surface. I know that this must be a kind of "purging" to release them. Most of them revolve around DV with my AH who I am not living with. All of these flashb...	Jean4444	7	623	Feb 18, 2008 by Jean4444
	I Want Off this See-Saw (Preview) Friday night was uneventful. Thank God. Saturday, I picked up the grandbaby (she'll be 3 months old the 26 of this month) and we came back to the house, hung out with AH for a while. He wasn't drinking, he was fine. He wanted to take the baby to get an outfit....this was a HUGE step, I feel. He and my daugh...	Becky1	2	564	Feb 18, 2008 by Becky1
	prayers please (Preview) Our neighbors have been wonderful friends to our family for the 10 years we have lived within hollering distance of them. His (my neighbors') father is in the hospital and they have learned last night that he probably only has a few days left with us. Some prayers for these good friends would be appreci...	Jen	4	316	Feb 18, 2008 by Heartbroken
	numb but rested at last (Preview) This past week I have been sleeping so much. At first I was concerned that I was giving up, but in the end, I think that I was giving myself some overdue TLC which feels a bit uncomfortable but yet sort of nice. AH was away so I could let my guard down, relax easier and sleep sound and long. Again at first, m...	ddub	2	461	Feb 18, 2008 by Karilynn
	The things you learn in the rooms! (Preview) Hi roomies!! I went to a meeting recently and the speaker shared her story. She mentioned a term, "gaslighting", that was used by her ex A. I didn't know it, but that is exactly what my ex A used on me. No wonder I thought I was going crazy when he would deny his actions and verbal abuse. Here is a d...	kissers	13	590	Feb 18, 2008 by Heartbroken
	For those who waited for chocolates & flowers....... (Preview) I remember recieving lovely Valentines cards from my ex A, and even flowers, or a romantic dinner.....pre his drinking. Oh how special I felt and loved, needed, wanted. Those days are gone, and now I can do those things for myself, if I choose to. That is what alanon teaches us, to make ourselves feel...	gardengal	7	645	Feb 18, 2008 by round3
	Alcohol has no redeeming qualities (Preview) This was said at my meeting last night, and the pain in which it was said cut through me like a knife. All it does is create pain and misery. And it's available to all. Not sure what my point is, but I agreed with this whole-heartedly.	Aloha	11	802	Feb 18, 2008 by Aloha
	Oh no MORE graditude (Preview) I had a b-day party for my 5 yr old today. It was mostly program people. It was really nice. I was missing some of my closer friends as they couldn't make it "the regulars". I love throwing parties. We had lots of big family parties when I was a kid. Those are some of the best memories and I feel so l...	serendipity	2	465	Feb 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Trying to Stay Out of His Mess (Preview) About a month ago, my A was arrested for disturbing the peace (under the influence of course), and resisting arrest, and I think for assaulting a public employee. I never looked for the full details, but I know the arresting officers used pepper spray and a taser on him - which I'm sure was well-deserv...	lmw	3	645	Feb 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Happy National Almond Day? (Preview) ((((((((((Family))))))), I just wanted to take a moment and wish you all a HAPPY NATIONAL ALMOND DAY! Okay, okay I know what you all are thinking. Karilynn has finally gone round the bend. No, I did that a long time ago. I was having a bit of a rough day at work. Customers were driving me crazy, the b...	Karilynn	10	668	Feb 18, 2008 by cookie1971
	Rearranged the Living Room... (Preview) I did rearrange the living room with the help of the odest who has also been itching to move :) Her design... Did a lot of working this weekend and getting used to the idea of losing my Fridays off to make up for all the sick time I took over the past few months. Hopefully we will all be well and have time ava...	carolinagirl	3	519	Feb 17, 2008 by nmike
	Nightmare! (Preview) ...ok, it 09:12am Sunday morning, I have been awake now for around three hours and I have got my heart rate down and steady... I woke myself up this morning shouting out aloud, "NO!" finding myself sitting bolt upright in bed with my heart pounding and seeing both my mother and my sister stan...	Heartbroken	4	342	Feb 17, 2008 by Heartbroken
	... in all our affairs (Preview) My 14 yr old left this morning to go snow camping with Scouts. For the first time ever, he completely packed all his stuff and I did not double check. The only thing I did do was strongly suggest he bring one more jacket and exchange a fleece shirt for a sweatshirt that he didn't know was cotton (cause &qu...	Loupiness	7	583	Feb 17, 2008 by lin0606
	I just don't care...and I don't know why....is this 'normal'? (Preview) Lately I have been noticing that I am having real trouble with not wanting to give of myself to anyone.Even at work,which is in retail, I find myself annoyed with customers who want my my help or my opinion on anything.They seem needy to me. I know it's my job to help customers but I find I just want to show t...	drucilla06	7	696	Feb 16, 2008 by nmike
	February Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) February Business Meeting Minutes: MIP February Business Meeting: Chair opened with the Serenity Prayer, !st thing on Agenda was the Secretary Report: Secretary presented the minutes from the January Business meeting. No corrections were needed. A motion was voted on and the January M...	serenity62	0	384	Feb 16, 2008 by serenity62
	Running on fumes (Preview) I have been in the program for a few years now. I am new to the board though. I feel as though I have run out of gas. Tonight, I went to the store to pick something up. Along the way I spot my former husband's vehicle at these apartments. The vehicle was parked right in front of an opened door apartment. ...	Zippers	3	477	Feb 16, 2008 by debilyn
	SICK OF IT ALL... (Preview) ...see it only takes one little thing to bring me down and I am so unhappy with myself. Why did I not just say; "I love you all, I care about you and the children, however, I am not in any position to help you out financially." BECAUSE I am so scared of being the bad guy, the failure again AND BEING C...	Heartbroken	7	608	Feb 16, 2008 by Tuggboat
	nervous (Preview) hi! i'm new here..i found this while looking for al-anon's website..i'm looking to go to a meeting this weekend...anyway, i guess i should say why i joined.. my brother is an awful alcoholic. he lives with my father, my sister and i. our mother passed away when i was 17, four years ago this past december...	kozmicblues	6	473	Feb 16, 2008 by round3
	If it doesn't have my name on it........ (Preview) I will not pick it up!!!! I heard this in a meeting and it is sticking in my thoughts. I can only deal with things that are my business. I am losing the desire to pick up those things which do not belong to me. It is a very freeing feeling to go about life and not be concerned with what is going on in other's lives...	Gailey	5	706	Feb 16, 2008 by round3
	HELP... (Preview) I NEED HELP...GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH. I AM SO BURDEN DOWN; I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM ENGAGED TO AN A. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION BUT I KEEP TAKING HIM BACK (LIKE AN IDIOT). NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND WHY IM WITH HIM BECAUSE OF ALL THE BS HE PUTS ME THROUGH....	DANDTALWAYS	10	414	Feb 16, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	What am I feeling anyway? (Preview) Feeling really down tonight. I know I should be happy with how things are going . Things are working out as I give my worries to HP and let the answers come, but I am really bad about compartmentalizing (whew! that's a word to type) my life. One thing is going great because I am really working program on it a...	Jen	7	577	Feb 16, 2008 by Jen
	HELP...six months silence and then my daughter takes me to the cleaners again... (Preview) ...ok I know I need to get this under control once and for all, and learn not to fall for it any more, but I am a real sucker 'cos I cannot let my grandchildren down and my daughter knows this and is very clever at working me on this one. I need some feedback from you guys to help me t...	Heartbroken	7	634	Feb 15, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Control (Preview) Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves. When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems see...	Tenderheartsks	1	301	Feb 15, 2008 by babysteps
	happ v day to all (Preview) i hope everyone is having a wonderful valentines day,wish i could say i was,again i got nothing from SAH{just like birthday,our anniversary,and christmas}but that is ok im looking forward to going back up to ny to visit family,up there i will all the love that i need from my family..since SAH and i hav...	bev	4	380	Feb 15, 2008 by bev
	Valentines Shmalentines (Preview) I bought my kids each a little gift for Valentines Day, but other than that didn't give it much thought. Then, I discovered it was best to keep the radio off on the way to work because the djs were making such a big deal about "love" and all, and I didn't want it to cloud my day. Okay, a red flag to...	Loupiness	5	614	Feb 15, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Nasty response (Preview) He cannot affect my serenity. I texted him: "happy valentines day, I love you and am thinking of you and hope you have a good day" and he emailed me back a nasty little "your text made me uncomfortable considering the state of our marriage" song and dance. He can say and feel wha...	Jean4444	8	654	Feb 15, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	So, my situation is NOT unique?!? (Preview) I spent YEARS fighting with this program because my situation was SSSOOOO Unique that NO ONE else could possibly understand! I mean, NO ONE ever felt like I did, went thru what I did, was treated as badly as I was, had to figure out everyone else's lives like I did. And then I left this program because ther...	serendipity	7	687	Feb 15, 2008 by nmike
	Is a Bowl of Ramen Noodles my HP (Preview) Somedays, it feels like it. I can always depend on Ramen. I always have it on hand. It always makes me feel better, makes me slow down and take care of myself. I can be so down, and I fix a bowl of Ramen noodles, and my mood lifts. I love the way it smells, the way it feels in my mouth. I am losing weight, which...	Becky1	17	745	Feb 15, 2008 by Karilynn
	Avoiding-Can I continue (Preview) Like I said I avoided the A last night when he called from jail. I just don't want to talk to him because I fear I will weaken my resolve. My feelings for him are still there. Can I continue to avoid him indefinitely or do I HAVE to have a conversation about my boundaries? Also, I know that when he hooks back u...	Codependent	5	573	Feb 15, 2008 by nmike
	Nature and Nurture? (Preview) I just suddenly thought, has my nature been at battle with my nurture all these years, I know when I don't go along with what is my nature I don't feel good in myself, as a mature women I surely should of had all the nurturing I need by now and beable to chose my own route. I must make it a rule of thumb to be tr...	Katy	0	760	Feb 15, 2008 by Katy
	Sad and scary (Preview) It is sad and scary for me to read so many posts in here about people getting divorced or expecting a divorce. I feel that way because it brings on yet another "what if..." cycle of thought patterns and projections in my own mind about my own relationship. Are relationships with A's doom...	Aloha	5	371	Feb 15, 2008 by Aloha
	Bear of little brain...UPDATE (Preview) Thank you for all your prayers. The brain scan proved I have a brain [though it may not be much of one - I am in good company with Pooh Bear!], and that there was nothing at this stage to be unduly worried about. PHEW!!!!! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!!! The Consultant informed me that he could see that BOTH e...	Heartbroken	8	565	Feb 14, 2008 by Jen
	A Mother (Preview) Well, since the A is in jail he is pressuring his mom to get him out for surgery. He says he wants to change, etc. She told him he could not live with her but suggested he come live with me and my son!! He responded that he would like that but wasn't sure what I would say. He wanted to talk to me when I was at he...	Codependent	5	376	Feb 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	Letting Go Of Those Not In Recovery (Preview) We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering. Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some dr...	Tenderheartsks	4	1284	Feb 14, 2008 by Codependent
	THINK (Preview) Well, I was going back over the last week in "Hope for Today" and February 5's reading made me Think about thinking, and assess my ability to think positively. It says: ...this slogan is intended to help me Think before I act, making sure my actions are well thought out, not impulsive, com...	Heartbroken	5	292	Feb 14, 2008 by Codependent
	A dozen roses and a box of chocolates... (Preview) Ya, don't I wish LOL!!! I have been out sick with strep throat since the 8th. I have a ton of time making up to do to get out of the hole! I am just glad to have almost all of my health back again today! Still not quite right but I sure am greatful for what I do have! Some well wishes would be appreciated in rea...	carolinagirl	4	464	Feb 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	like a dream (Preview) I just wrote a long post and deleted. My life continues with huge family problems involving semi-sober son, his EX, our grandbaby/custody/visitation, sick husband, more surgeries coming for him, etc., very ill mother and failing father 1,000 miles from me, and me trying to cope with the cancer anx...	omajoy	8	769	Feb 14, 2008 by round3
	MAKING THE WRONG CHOICES (Preview) (((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) I've done it again. Became emotional involved with a guy. I allowed my feelings for him to get in the way of my "Inner Happiness", and as usual,I allowed him to make me happy. I done the oppisite of what I usually do, I ended the relationship with him. WHY?...	ally	6	551	Feb 14, 2008 by Mandy123
	Had one heck of a time returning here! LOL (Preview) OK... I have been away for a while. Computer crashed, lost my "favorites" file, blah! blah! blah! Anyway, have been trying & trying to login, but was unable to find my sign-in name. So, I paged through and through and through all of the posts here, looking for what may be my sign-in...	ESH	3	531	Feb 14, 2008 by Mandy123
	KIMMY...AND ?????????? (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) It never worked on myspace. You never added...lol PLEASE TRY AGAIN... love Ally Girl	ally	1	291	Feb 14, 2008 by kismetstrand
	Baby, Baby...Where Did Our Love Go? (Preview) Hubby has been pestering me to death to talk, after almost 3 years of not. I don't know how to act, how to handle this revelation. Truth is, I am confused, scared, etc. I left him a 2 page scribbled note on the kitchen table on the way to work yesterday morning. Told him I was confused. How I felt shut dow...	Becky1	2	516	Feb 14, 2008 by hersh
	Never underestimate the truth of cheesy sayings (Preview) There's an ancient saying "To you, you may be one person in the world, but to one person, you may be the world." Or something like that. Wow, am I seeing that come true. Yesterday, I just couldn't take it. I felt like my world was caving in, and I was done. I was going to put in the paperwork t...	Tiger2006	5	2031	Feb 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	What do you say to everyone? (Preview) Well, he left three years ago. Says he wants a divorce but never has filed. I see him now and then for taxes and talk about our kids. It is obvious that he has checked out of this relationships even way before he actually left. He has been sober for over 20 years. People ask questions. I never know what to say...	nmike	11	661	Feb 14, 2008 by Jen
	The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back (Preview) I filed for the divorce on Monday. I am still quite numb, but upright. So many reasons and I had been deliberating this decision for the last 5 months. I literary could not take it one more day - one more day of being blamed, erratic behavior, constant invasion of my privacy, silent treatment, and of co...	optimistundone	4	309	Feb 14, 2008 by serendipity
	Moving on with Me! (Preview) Hello alanon friends! As another day comes and goes without my AH living in the home anymore, I am slowly but surely relaxing and feeling happy for longer than ever before. I can't think of anything to worry about at the moment. I have shadows of those bad thoughts but they pass like vague memories. My he...	silverbrumby	2	445	Feb 14, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Happy Valentine's Day! (Preview) ((((((((((Family))))))), Tomorrow is Valentines Day here in the states. I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day. I love you all dearly and am incredibly greatful for your love, support, strength, encouragement and amazing humor! I have learned many lessons fr...	Karilynn	5	471	Feb 14, 2008 by nmike
	stuck between the dream & the reality (Preview) I remember a child's book called Leo the Lop - a bunny with fall down ears and the moral of the story was there was no such thing as normal, it was what you were use to. With al anon, I understand that our normal from past or present may not have been healthy. The emotional and verbal abuse is a hard one to rec...	ddub	2	587	Feb 14, 2008 by nmike
	I thought it was my fault (Preview) Hi family,Some of you know that my first husband of 26 was an A. He was killed in a pedestrian accident. He was at a major event here in Oregon setting up a band my second husband played bass in. Sadly he left the mountain setting,walked to the nearby tourist restaurant and drank hard stuff. Got on the hiwa...	debilyn	10	747	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	extended family (Preview) Just plodding along the path and clearing away this and that as I stumble along. Here's one question some esh might help me take action. My anger is so comfortable at being subdued and internalised that I become afraid of everything. Strange inconsistancy as when I am confident and state the fact...	ddub	5	455	Feb 13, 2008 by Loupiness
	Anniversary... (Preview) How the time flies around here. I was reviewing my profile this morning and discovered that as of this past Friday I have been a member of this site for 3 years. I think I toiled around on here for about a year before that. I wanted to let you all know that this has been an amazing journey here with you all....	AlaMom	7	551	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	Please would you say a prayer... (Preview) ...whilst I feel that I have made progress during the last week, I am a little concerned about the hospital appointment that I have tomorrow and the brain scan - though that will not take long as I am ' a bear of little brain...'[ similar to Pooh Bear] - none-the-less, it is a little scarey. Should get th...	Heartbroken	8	568	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
	talked to SAH (Preview) when i picked him up from work today i told him a friend of ours from ny is coming down to florida with her boys{she is taking them to orlando}and she wanted to spend a few days with us and he said he didnt care,i went to tell him that when she goes back to ny in a week i was going to ride back with her so i could be th...	bev	3	434	Feb 13, 2008 by Maria123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.