Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bcanuck · bcanuck

Just wanted to say thanks to Al Anon for the serenity. My A has left for a 10 day vacation to Fla., and for the first time I am truly not worried about what he will do or what trouble he will get into, it's his problem. A small step for me, but an important one. Funny how much of this stuff you absorb by osmosis w...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

What I am afraid of: Getting too close to another person for fear of being rejected.Making relationships with others and finding I have to test their honesty and trustworthiness.Opening myself up to criticism as I have a fragile and low self worth as it is, though I am working on this.Being hurt more t...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Today was one of those 2 step back days that I am trying very hard not to have be a major slip for me. I am coming here to get the stinking thinking out of my head and somewhere where I can see it and get some support on. Hubs and I tried to make a major "want" purchase recently and it did not go throug...

maresie · maresie

For the last week I've been ill and on my own. Day in day out, just me to take care of me. I used to beg the A to do small things for me when I was sick, he never (and I mean never) did anything willingly or without being asked 100 times. I am so glad to be out of that. I am so glad to be away from someone who resented...

tea cozy · tea cozy

Hi all! This is my first time with a group like this, and I could really use some direction. My fiance and I have been together for three years or so. He admitted quite freely when we got together that when he divorced some years before, he didn't deal well. He moved back home with his family, found a job...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))) Thought you might like this song...means a whole lot to me, when i listen to it.."Take what you like"... Ally Chasing Pavements - Adele Ive made up my mi...

Aloha · Aloha

I think, for me, a big part of how I'm going to be able to move forward with my recovery is to learn forgiveness. If I dwell and dwell and dwell on all the things that have gone wrong, then how on earth can I move forward with being a more stable person? It is TOUGH. Oh so tough! I was reading my How Al-Anon W...

Codependent · Codependent

I know I have said this before, but thank you. Thank you for listening and responding. But, most of all, thank you for awakening me to the fact that I don't have to be ashamed that I still love and care for my A. I have spent so much time this past week making excuses for why I let him call me, listening to ho...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, as most of you know my A is in jail. I did go ahead and set up an account so that he could call me. Not making any excuse for opening up that door again- I know I did. I just find it difficult to listen to him talk about getting out in a couple of weeks without wanting to tell him that if he doesn't change he wi...

marybell42 · marybell42

My brother, who is now in his late 30's, has been putting my family through turmoil since his teens with his alcohol issues. He has wrecked and totaled numerous vehicles in drunken stupors. Once hitting a woman's car while totaling his own. By the grace of God the woman was unhurt, as my brother woul...

debilyn · debilyn

Just wondering how you and A are doing. Miss your responses. love,debilyn

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

My AH is laying low and doing lotsa dishes and stuff. Asks me alot about whether he can get me anything or do anything for me. Is it my imagination or is he behaving guilty? Plus, I have not seen him drink...for two days. I thought I smelled some last night but I could have been mistaken. I am so suspicious be...

qwerty · qwerty

Five years ago, I discovered that my husband of 18 years had cheated on me. This began some serious issues between us, which resulted in some major changes in his life. His father was an alcoholic, and I knew he drank too much, but I never really considered him a full-blown alcoholic until he declared hi...

Aloha · Aloha

I know I've seen A's attend Al-anon meetings, so I know it's acceptable. I wonder if A's are given the suggestion in their AA meetings at all to occasionally attend Al-anon meetings with their loved ones to see the other side of the coin, as we Al-anon members are encouraged to attend AA meetings to se...

serendipity · serendipity

I mentioned something about the karma bus running down my ex. Not waiting for it or anything but always on the lookout. And another member said that she doesn't wish her ex any ill will because he gave her 2 of the most awsome kids in the world. When she thinks of him, she wishes him well and all of the love an...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...thank you all so much for the sharing and caring that you have shown me as you have responded to my last two posts. Everyone of you is so special...and I am hearing what you say canadian guy, I just never thought of it like that. You are right, I have come a long way in such a short time and it is all down to e...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Boy do I ever have anxiety! I went to an appointment with my husband yesterday and we sat for almost 4 hours waiting for a late drs appt. It was excrutiating! Anyway, when I got home I was exhausted and anxious. Now I am trying to turn it over but it is carrying over to today. I hope I can achieve serenity to...

Kathyg3963 · Kathyg3963

Learning To Sail(by Kathy Glaze) Heres a little story,Of a girl I know.Shes a loving human being,And loved by all she knows. One day she made a vow,Through sickness and in health.Without ever realizing,The impact of its wealth. Theres an addiction in this marriage,It was a ride shed never forese...

ddub · ddub

I am trying to understand this - I know I am not thinking quite right but I just don't get why or how to look at this? If what I want to do is have companionship with parent of my kids for family get togethers or functions but I can't make that choice for the other parent then how can I get that need met in anothe...

maresie · maresie

The A called me twice last night in the middle of the night. I had been thinking about him a lot lately, doing a lot of greiving. I am absolutely clear it is over between us. I do not intend to return any calls. I also do not have anything more to say to him. I always had so much raging and grieving to do toward...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm getting that feeling again that I want to make a major change in my life, a big move, change jobs, just something to throw a wrench into the rut and probably into my serenity too. I have been having a difficult time at work since being sick and am feeling that antsy need to make a big change feeling. I r...

newday · newday

I've felt for a long time my sister has had a drinking problem. Even more since I became aware of this site. I've posted several times regarding an ex-A and a recovering friend. Recently, her second marriage has crumbled due to infidelity (him). I went to visit her in November (she lives out west and I li...

serendipity · serendipity

In my meeting today we had a topic of rage. My rage is from my pain mostly. I suppose there is fear in there also but the one that is most clear is pain. My rage has lead me to do things I am not proud of. It has felt like it is beyond my control at times. Someone said anger and rage are different. That anger can be...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am really down about my marriage right now. We have been separated for 2 years (4000 miles apart) and only text one sentence daily: "good night" back and forth. That is the extent of our contact. Whenever I have tried to do more, he says he is uncomfortable with whatever I wrote or said. He...

Aloha · Aloha

Such a shame. I joined my AH at an open AA meeting last night. It was his 30-day mark. A big achievement, I think, but he's not proud of it. He doesn't know how to feel about it, I guess. Just shows me how wrapped up he got himself in drinking. Just praying to my HP and to his HP that he someday will see the...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((Family))) Well last night I really blew it. The funny thing is, the A has really been acting quite decent lately. It was all over money. We got into an argument and before I knew it, I was ragging on him about his drinking, and you all know the rest. Today, he hasn't drawn a sober breath. I know I shouldn'...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am dealing with negative flashbacks the past couple of days- really undermining. Things I had forgotten that have come back up to the surface. I know that this must be a kind of "purging" to release them. Most of them revolve around DV with my AH who I am not living with. All of these flashb...

Becky1 · Becky1

Friday night was uneventful. Thank God. Saturday, I picked up the grandbaby (she'll be 3 months old the 26 of this month) and we came back to the house, hung out with AH for a while. He wasn't drinking, he was fine. He wanted to take the baby to get an outfit....this was a HUGE step, I feel. He and my daugh...

Jen · Jen

Our neighbors have been wonderful friends to our family for the 10 years we have lived within hollering distance of them. His (my neighbors') father is in the hospital and they have learned last night that he probably only has a few days left with us. Some prayers for these good friends would be appreci...

ddub · ddub

This past week I have been sleeping so much. At first I was concerned that I was giving up, but in the end, I think that I was giving myself some overdue TLC which feels a bit uncomfortable but yet sort of nice. AH was away so I could let my guard down, relax easier and sleep sound and long. Again at first, m...

kissers · kissers

Hi roomies!! I went to a meeting recently and the speaker shared her story. She mentioned a term, "gaslighting", that was used by her ex A. I didn't know it, but that is exactly what my ex A used on me. No wonder I thought I was going crazy when he would deny his actions and verbal abuse. Here is a d...

gardengal · gardengal

I remember recieving lovely Valentines cards from my ex A, and even flowers, or a romantic dinner.....pre his drinking. Oh how special I felt and loved, needed, wanted. Those days are gone, and now I can do those things for myself, if I choose to. That is what alanon teaches us, to make ourselves feel...

Aloha · Aloha

This was said at my meeting last night, and the pain in which it was said cut through me like a knife. All it does is create pain and misery. And it's available to all. Not sure what my point is, but I agreed with this whole-heartedly.

serendipity · serendipity

I had a b-day party for my 5 yr old today. It was mostly program people. It was really nice. I was missing some of my closer friends as they couldn't make it "the regulars". I love throwing parties. We had lots of big family parties when I was a kid. Those are some of the best memories and I feel so l...

lmw · lmw

About a month ago, my A was arrested for disturbing the peace (under the influence of course), and resisting arrest, and I think for assaulting a public employee. I never looked for the full details, but I know the arresting officers used pepper spray and a taser on him - which I'm sure was well-deserv...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family))))))), I just wanted to take a moment and wish you all a HAPPY NATIONAL ALMOND DAY! Okay, okay I know what you all are thinking. Karilynn has finally gone round the bend. No, I did that a long time ago. I was having a bit of a rough day at work. Customers were driving me crazy, the b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I did rearrange the living room with the help of the odest who has also been itching to move :) Her design... Did a lot of working this weekend and getting used to the idea of losing my Fridays off to make up for all the sick time I took over the past few months. Hopefully we will all be well and have time ava...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...ok, it 09:12am Sunday morning, I have been awake now for around three hours and I have got my heart rate down and steady... I woke myself up this morning shouting out aloud, "NO!" finding myself sitting bolt upright in bed with my heart pounding and seeing both my mother and my sister stan...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My 14 yr old left this morning to go snow camping with Scouts. For the first time ever, he completely packed all his stuff and I did not double check. The only thing I did do was strongly suggest he bring one more jacket and exchange a fleece shirt for a sweatshirt that he didn't know was cotton (cause &qu...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Lately I have been noticing that I am having real trouble with not wanting to give of myself to anyone.Even at work,which is in retail, I find myself annoyed with customers who want my my help or my opinion on anything.They seem needy to me. I know it's my job to help customers but I find I just want to show t...

serenity62 · serenity62

February Business Meeting Minutes: MIP February Business Meeting: Chair opened with the Serenity Prayer, !st thing on Agenda was the Secretary Report: Secretary presented the minutes from the January Business meeting. No corrections were needed. A motion was voted on and the January M...

Zippers · Zippers

I have been in the program for a few years now. I am new to the board though. I feel as though I have run out of gas. Tonight, I went to the store to pick something up. Along the way I spot my former husband's vehicle at these apartments. The vehicle was parked right in front of an opened door apartment. ...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...see it only takes one little thing to bring me down and I am so unhappy with myself. Why did I not just say; "I love you all, I care about you and the children, however, I am not in any position to help you out financially." BECAUSE I am so scared of being the bad guy, the failure again AND BEING C...

kozmicblues · kozmicblues

hi! i'm new here..i found this while looking for al-anon's website..i'm looking to go to a meeting this weekend...anyway, i guess i should say why i joined.. my brother is an awful alcoholic. he lives with my father, my sister and i. our mother passed away when i was 17, four years ago this past december...

Gailey · Gailey

I will not pick it up!!!! I heard this in a meeting and it is sticking in my thoughts. I can only deal with things that are my business. I am losing the desire to pick up those things which do not belong to me. It is a very freeing feeling to go about life and not be concerned with what is going on in other's lives...

DANDTALWAYS · DANDTALWAYS

I NEED HELP...GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH. I AM SO BURDEN DOWN; I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM ENGAGED TO AN A. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION BUT I KEEP TAKING HIM BACK (LIKE AN IDIOT). NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND WHY IM WITH HIM BECAUSE OF ALL THE BS HE PUTS ME THROUGH....

Jen · Jen

Feeling really down tonight. I know I should be happy with how things are going . Things are working out as I give my worries to HP and let the answers come, but I am really bad about compartmentalizing (whew! that's a word to type) my life. One thing is going great because I am really working program on it a...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...ok I know I need to get this under control once and for all, and learn not to fall for it any more, but I am a real sucker 'cos I cannot let my grandchildren down and my daughter knows this and is very clever at working me on this one. I need some feedback from you guys to help me t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves. When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems see...

bev · bev

i hope everyone is having a wonderful valentines day,wish i could say i was,again i got nothing from SAH{just like birthday,our anniversary,and christmas}but that is ok im looking forward to going back up to ny to visit family,up there i will all the love that i need from my family..since SAH and i hav...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I bought my kids each a little gift for Valentines Day, but other than that didn't give it much thought. Then, I discovered it was best to keep the radio off on the way to work because the djs were making such a big deal about "love" and all, and I didn't want it to cloud my day. Okay, a red flag to...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

He cannot affect my serenity. I texted him: "happy valentines day, I love you and am thinking of you and hope you have a good day" and he emailed me back a nasty little "your text made me uncomfortable considering the state of our marriage" song and dance. He can say and feel wha...

serendipity · serendipity

I spent YEARS fighting with this program because my situation was SSSOOOO Unique that NO ONE else could possibly understand! I mean, NO ONE ever felt like I did, went thru what I did, was treated as badly as I was, had to figure out everyone else's lives like I did. And then I left this program because ther...

Becky1 · Becky1

Somedays, it feels like it. I can always depend on Ramen. I always have it on hand. It always makes me feel better, makes me slow down and take care of myself. I can be so down, and I fix a bowl of Ramen noodles, and my mood lifts. I love the way it smells, the way it feels in my mouth. I am losing weight, which...

Codependent · Codependent

Like I said I avoided the A last night when he called from jail. I just don't want to talk to him because I fear I will weaken my resolve. My feelings for him are still there. Can I continue to avoid him indefinitely or do I HAVE to have a conversation about my boundaries? Also, I know that when he hooks back u...

Katy · Katy

I just suddenly thought, has my nature been at battle with my nurture all these years, I know when I don't go along with what is my nature I don't feel good in myself, as a mature women I surely should of had all the nurturing I need by now and beable to chose my own route. I must make it a rule of thumb to be tr...

Aloha · Aloha

It is sad and scary for me to read so many posts in here about people getting divorced or expecting a divorce. I feel that way because it brings on yet another "what if..." cycle of thought patterns and projections in my own mind about my own relationship. Are relationships with A's doom...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Thank you for all your prayers. The brain scan proved I have a brain [though it may not be much of one - I am in good company with Pooh Bear!], and that there was nothing at this stage to be unduly worried about. PHEW!!!!! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!!! The Consultant informed me that he could see that BOTH e...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, since the A is in jail he is pressuring his mom to get him out for surgery. He says he wants to change, etc. She told him he could not live with her but suggested he come live with me and my son!! He responded that he would like that but wasn't sure what I would say. He wanted to talk to me when I was at he...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering. Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some dr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Thanks to Al Anon and HP (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks to Al Anon for the serenity. My A has left for a 10 day vacation to Fla., and for the first time I am truly not worried about what he will do or what trouble he will get into, it's his problem. A small step for me, but an important one. Funny how much of this stuff you absorb by osmosis w...	bcanuck	5	588	Feb 21, 2008 by Heartbroken
	What I am afraid of... (Preview) What I am afraid of: Getting too close to another person for fear of being rejected.Making relationships with others and finding I have to test their honesty and trustworthiness.Opening myself up to criticism as I have a fragile and low self worth as it is, though I am working on this.Being hurt more t...	Heartbroken	12	677	Feb 21, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Old Demons (Preview) Today was one of those 2 step back days that I am trying very hard not to have be a major slip for me. I am coming here to get the stinking thinking out of my head and somewhere where I can see it and get some support on. Hubs and I tried to make a major "want" purchase recently and it did not go throug...	AlaMom	3	408	Feb 21, 2008 by Maria123
	Ill and on my own (Preview) For the last week I've been ill and on my own. Day in day out, just me to take care of me. I used to beg the A to do small things for me when I was sick, he never (and I mean never) did anything willingly or without being asked 100 times. I am so glad to be out of that. I am so glad to be away from someone who resented...	maresie	6	480	Feb 20, 2008 by carosie
	New here and need help (Preview) Hi all! This is my first time with a group like this, and I could really use some direction. My fiance and I have been together for three years or so. He admitted quite freely when we got together that when he divorced some years before, he didn't deal well. He moved back home with his family, found a job...	tea cozy	5	538	Feb 20, 2008 by nmike
	LISTEN TO THIS..COULD BE FOR ALL OF US. (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))))) Thought you might like this song...means a whole lot to me, when i listen to it.."Take what you like"... Ally Chasing Pavements - Adele Ive made up my mi...	ally	2	611	Feb 20, 2008 by tryingtoheal
	Desiring forgiveness (Preview) I think, for me, a big part of how I'm going to be able to move forward with my recovery is to learn forgiveness. If I dwell and dwell and dwell on all the things that have gone wrong, then how on earth can I move forward with being a more stable person? It is TOUGH. Oh so tough! I was reading my How Al-Anon W...	Aloha	8	782	Feb 20, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Thank you for understanding....I hope you read this (Preview) I know I have said this before, but thank you. Thank you for listening and responding. But, most of all, thank you for awakening me to the fact that I don't have to be ashamed that I still love and care for my A. I have spent so much time this past week making excuses for why I let him call me, listening to ho...	Codependent	5	771	Feb 20, 2008 by round3
	How do you have peace watching someone die? (Preview) Well, as most of you know my A is in jail. I did go ahead and set up an account so that he could call me. Not making any excuse for opening up that door again- I know I did. I just find it difficult to listen to him talk about getting out in a couple of weeks without wanting to tell him that if he doesn't change he wi...	Codependent	10	1099	Feb 20, 2008 by Karilynn
	How to help someone who does not want it? (Preview) My brother, who is now in his late 30's, has been putting my family through turmoil since his teens with his alcohol issues. He has wrecked and totaled numerous vehicles in drunken stupors. Once hitting a woman's car while totaling his own. By the grace of God the woman was unhurt, as my brother woul...	marybell42	10	683	Feb 20, 2008 by Karilynn
	Diva how are things???? (Preview) Just wondering how you and A are doing. Miss your responses. love,debilyn	debilyn	3	433	Feb 20, 2008 by Jen
	he's being nice so I am suspicious (Preview) My AH is laying low and doing lotsa dishes and stuff. Asks me alot about whether he can get me anything or do anything for me. Is it my imagination or is he behaving guilty? Plus, I have not seen him drink...for two days. I thought I smelled some last night but I could have been mistaken. I am so suspicious be...	RainyJamie	5	702	Feb 20, 2008 by cookie1971
	Five years sober: my husband is BORING (Preview) Five years ago, I discovered that my husband of 18 years had cheated on me. This began some serious issues between us, which resulted in some major changes in his life. His father was an alcoholic, and I knew he drank too much, but I never really considered him a full-blown alcoholic until he declared hi...	qwerty	17	11394	Feb 19, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Good idea for an A to attend Al-anon meetings? (Preview) I know I've seen A's attend Al-anon meetings, so I know it's acceptable. I wonder if A's are given the suggestion in their AA meetings at all to occasionally attend Al-anon meetings with their loved ones to see the other side of the coin, as we Al-anon members are encouraged to attend AA meetings to se...	Aloha	7	823	Feb 19, 2008 by canadianguy
	Pray for "them" (Preview) I mentioned something about the karma bus running down my ex. Not waiting for it or anything but always on the lookout. And another member said that she doesn't wish her ex any ill will because he gave her 2 of the most awsome kids in the world. When she thinks of him, she wishes him well and all of the love an...	serendipity	5	409	Feb 19, 2008 by Jen
	Overwhelmed by this family... (Preview) ...thank you all so much for the sharing and caring that you have shown me as you have responded to my last two posts. Everyone of you is so special...and I am hearing what you say canadian guy, I just never thought of it like that. You are right, I have come a long way in such a short time and it is all down to e...	Heartbroken	5	485	Feb 19, 2008 by maresie
	Anxiey! (Preview) Boy do I ever have anxiety! I went to an appointment with my husband yesterday and we sat for almost 4 hours waiting for a late drs appt. It was excrutiating! Anyway, when I got home I was exhausted and anxious. Now I am trying to turn it over but it is carrying over to today. I hope I can achieve serenity to...	Hoot Nanny	8	500	Feb 19, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	POEM - Learning To Sail (Preview) Learning To Sail(by Kathy Glaze) Heres a little story,Of a girl I know.Shes a loving human being,And loved by all she knows. One day she made a vow,Through sickness and in health.Without ever realizing,The impact of its wealth. Theres an addiction in this marriage,It was a ride shed never forese...	Kathyg3963	3	440	Feb 19, 2008 by Heartbroken
	healthy normal or perfect fantasy??? (Preview) I am trying to understand this - I know I am not thinking quite right but I just don't get why or how to look at this? If what I want to do is have companionship with parent of my kids for family get togethers or functions but I can't make that choice for the other parent then how can I get that need met in anothe...	ddub	5	604	Feb 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	update (Preview) The A called me twice last night in the middle of the night. I had been thinking about him a lot lately, doing a lot of greiving. I am absolutely clear it is over between us. I do not intend to return any calls. I also do not have anything more to say to him. I always had so much raging and grieving to do toward...	maresie	4	387	Feb 19, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling a strong pull to upset the apple cart (Preview) I'm getting that feeling again that I want to make a major change in my life, a big move, change jobs, just something to throw a wrench into the rut and probably into my serenity too. I have been having a difficult time at work since being sick and am feeling that antsy need to make a big change feeling. I r...	carolinagirl	6	408	Feb 19, 2008 by maresie
	Sister going through a divorce-using alcohol (Preview) I've felt for a long time my sister has had a drinking problem. Even more since I became aware of this site. I've posted several times regarding an ex-A and a recovering friend. Recently, her second marriage has crumbled due to infidelity (him). I went to visit her in November (she lives out west and I li...	newday	3	414	Feb 19, 2008 by lin0606
	anger vs. rage (Preview) In my meeting today we had a topic of rage. My rage is from my pain mostly. I suppose there is fear in there also but the one that is most clear is pain. My rage has lead me to do things I am not proud of. It has felt like it is beyond my control at times. Someone said anger and rage are different. That anger can be...	serendipity	12	5663	Feb 19, 2008 by debilyn
	Am I just trying to control? (Preview) I am really down about my marriage right now. We have been separated for 2 years (4000 miles apart) and only text one sentence daily: "good night" back and forth. That is the extent of our contact. Whenever I have tried to do more, he says he is uncomfortable with whatever I wrote or said. He...	Jean4444	8	684	Feb 18, 2008 by tiredtonite
	30 days sober and he ain't happy about it (Preview) Such a shame. I joined my AH at an open AA meeting last night. It was his 30-day mark. A big achievement, I think, but he's not proud of it. He doesn't know how to feel about it, I guess. Just shows me how wrapped up he got himself in drinking. Just praying to my HP and to his HP that he someday will see the...	Aloha	2	583	Feb 18, 2008 by Tuggboat
	I REALLY LOST IT BIG TIME (Preview) (((Family))) Well last night I really blew it. The funny thing is, the A has really been acting quite decent lately. It was all over money. We got into an argument and before I knew it, I was ragging on him about his drinking, and you all know the rest. Today, he hasn't drawn a sober breath. I know I shouldn'...	cookie1971	7	697	Feb 18, 2008 by glad lee
	flashbacks (Preview) I am dealing with negative flashbacks the past couple of days- really undermining. Things I had forgotten that have come back up to the surface. I know that this must be a kind of "purging" to release them. Most of them revolve around DV with my AH who I am not living with. All of these flashb...	Jean4444	7	676	Feb 18, 2008 by Jean4444
	I Want Off this See-Saw (Preview) Friday night was uneventful. Thank God. Saturday, I picked up the grandbaby (she'll be 3 months old the 26 of this month) and we came back to the house, hung out with AH for a while. He wasn't drinking, he was fine. He wanted to take the baby to get an outfit....this was a HUGE step, I feel. He and my daugh...	Becky1	2	617	Feb 18, 2008 by Becky1
	prayers please (Preview) Our neighbors have been wonderful friends to our family for the 10 years we have lived within hollering distance of them. His (my neighbors') father is in the hospital and they have learned last night that he probably only has a few days left with us. Some prayers for these good friends would be appreci...	Jen	4	364	Feb 18, 2008 by Heartbroken
	numb but rested at last (Preview) This past week I have been sleeping so much. At first I was concerned that I was giving up, but in the end, I think that I was giving myself some overdue TLC which feels a bit uncomfortable but yet sort of nice. AH was away so I could let my guard down, relax easier and sleep sound and long. Again at first, m...	ddub	2	509	Feb 18, 2008 by Karilynn
	The things you learn in the rooms! (Preview) Hi roomies!! I went to a meeting recently and the speaker shared her story. She mentioned a term, "gaslighting", that was used by her ex A. I didn't know it, but that is exactly what my ex A used on me. No wonder I thought I was going crazy when he would deny his actions and verbal abuse. Here is a d...	kissers	13	651	Feb 18, 2008 by Heartbroken
	For those who waited for chocolates & flowers....... (Preview) I remember recieving lovely Valentines cards from my ex A, and even flowers, or a romantic dinner.....pre his drinking. Oh how special I felt and loved, needed, wanted. Those days are gone, and now I can do those things for myself, if I choose to. That is what alanon teaches us, to make ourselves feel...	gardengal	7	693	Feb 18, 2008 by round3
	Alcohol has no redeeming qualities (Preview) This was said at my meeting last night, and the pain in which it was said cut through me like a knife. All it does is create pain and misery. And it's available to all. Not sure what my point is, but I agreed with this whole-heartedly.	Aloha	11	960	Feb 18, 2008 by Aloha
	Oh no MORE graditude (Preview) I had a b-day party for my 5 yr old today. It was mostly program people. It was really nice. I was missing some of my closer friends as they couldn't make it "the regulars". I love throwing parties. We had lots of big family parties when I was a kid. Those are some of the best memories and I feel so l...	serendipity	2	514	Feb 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Trying to Stay Out of His Mess (Preview) About a month ago, my A was arrested for disturbing the peace (under the influence of course), and resisting arrest, and I think for assaulting a public employee. I never looked for the full details, but I know the arresting officers used pepper spray and a taser on him - which I'm sure was well-deserv...	lmw	3	694	Feb 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Happy National Almond Day? (Preview) ((((((((((Family))))))), I just wanted to take a moment and wish you all a HAPPY NATIONAL ALMOND DAY! Okay, okay I know what you all are thinking. Karilynn has finally gone round the bend. No, I did that a long time ago. I was having a bit of a rough day at work. Customers were driving me crazy, the b...	Karilynn	10	722	Feb 18, 2008 by cookie1971
	Rearranged the Living Room... (Preview) I did rearrange the living room with the help of the odest who has also been itching to move :) Her design... Did a lot of working this weekend and getting used to the idea of losing my Fridays off to make up for all the sick time I took over the past few months. Hopefully we will all be well and have time ava...	carolinagirl	3	570	Feb 17, 2008 by nmike
	Nightmare! (Preview) ...ok, it 09:12am Sunday morning, I have been awake now for around three hours and I have got my heart rate down and steady... I woke myself up this morning shouting out aloud, "NO!" finding myself sitting bolt upright in bed with my heart pounding and seeing both my mother and my sister stan...	Heartbroken	4	390	Feb 17, 2008 by Heartbroken
	... in all our affairs (Preview) My 14 yr old left this morning to go snow camping with Scouts. For the first time ever, he completely packed all his stuff and I did not double check. The only thing I did do was strongly suggest he bring one more jacket and exchange a fleece shirt for a sweatshirt that he didn't know was cotton (cause &qu...	Loupiness	7	632	Feb 17, 2008 by lin0606
	I just don't care...and I don't know why....is this 'normal'? (Preview) Lately I have been noticing that I am having real trouble with not wanting to give of myself to anyone.Even at work,which is in retail, I find myself annoyed with customers who want my my help or my opinion on anything.They seem needy to me. I know it's my job to help customers but I find I just want to show t...	drucilla06	7	760	Feb 16, 2008 by nmike
	February Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) February Business Meeting Minutes: MIP February Business Meeting: Chair opened with the Serenity Prayer, !st thing on Agenda was the Secretary Report: Secretary presented the minutes from the January Business meeting. No corrections were needed. A motion was voted on and the January M...	serenity62	0	436	Feb 16, 2008 by serenity62
	Running on fumes (Preview) I have been in the program for a few years now. I am new to the board though. I feel as though I have run out of gas. Tonight, I went to the store to pick something up. Along the way I spot my former husband's vehicle at these apartments. The vehicle was parked right in front of an opened door apartment. ...	Zippers	3	526	Feb 16, 2008 by debilyn
	SICK OF IT ALL... (Preview) ...see it only takes one little thing to bring me down and I am so unhappy with myself. Why did I not just say; "I love you all, I care about you and the children, however, I am not in any position to help you out financially." BECAUSE I am so scared of being the bad guy, the failure again AND BEING C...	Heartbroken	7	661	Feb 16, 2008 by Tuggboat
	nervous (Preview) hi! i'm new here..i found this while looking for al-anon's website..i'm looking to go to a meeting this weekend...anyway, i guess i should say why i joined.. my brother is an awful alcoholic. he lives with my father, my sister and i. our mother passed away when i was 17, four years ago this past december...	kozmicblues	6	524	Feb 16, 2008 by round3
	If it doesn't have my name on it........ (Preview) I will not pick it up!!!! I heard this in a meeting and it is sticking in my thoughts. I can only deal with things that are my business. I am losing the desire to pick up those things which do not belong to me. It is a very freeing feeling to go about life and not be concerned with what is going on in other's lives...	Gailey	5	757	Feb 16, 2008 by round3
	HELP... (Preview) I NEED HELP...GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH. I AM SO BURDEN DOWN; I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM ENGAGED TO AN A. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION BUT I KEEP TAKING HIM BACK (LIKE AN IDIOT). NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND WHY IM WITH HIM BECAUSE OF ALL THE BS HE PUTS ME THROUGH....	DANDTALWAYS	10	467	Feb 16, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	What am I feeling anyway? (Preview) Feeling really down tonight. I know I should be happy with how things are going . Things are working out as I give my worries to HP and let the answers come, but I am really bad about compartmentalizing (whew! that's a word to type) my life. One thing is going great because I am really working program on it a...	Jen	7	629	Feb 16, 2008 by Jen
	HELP...six months silence and then my daughter takes me to the cleaners again... (Preview) ...ok I know I need to get this under control once and for all, and learn not to fall for it any more, but I am a real sucker 'cos I cannot let my grandchildren down and my daughter knows this and is very clever at working me on this one. I need some feedback from you guys to help me t...	Heartbroken	7	689	Feb 15, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Control (Preview) Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves. When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems see...	Tenderheartsks	1	351	Feb 15, 2008 by babysteps
	happ v day to all (Preview) i hope everyone is having a wonderful valentines day,wish i could say i was,again i got nothing from SAH{just like birthday,our anniversary,and christmas}but that is ok im looking forward to going back up to ny to visit family,up there i will all the love that i need from my family..since SAH and i hav...	bev	4	433	Feb 15, 2008 by bev
	Valentines Shmalentines (Preview) I bought my kids each a little gift for Valentines Day, but other than that didn't give it much thought. Then, I discovered it was best to keep the radio off on the way to work because the djs were making such a big deal about "love" and all, and I didn't want it to cloud my day. Okay, a red flag to...	Loupiness	5	661	Feb 15, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Nasty response (Preview) He cannot affect my serenity. I texted him: "happy valentines day, I love you and am thinking of you and hope you have a good day" and he emailed me back a nasty little "your text made me uncomfortable considering the state of our marriage" song and dance. He can say and feel wha...	Jean4444	8	702	Feb 15, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	So, my situation is NOT unique?!? (Preview) I spent YEARS fighting with this program because my situation was SSSOOOO Unique that NO ONE else could possibly understand! I mean, NO ONE ever felt like I did, went thru what I did, was treated as badly as I was, had to figure out everyone else's lives like I did. And then I left this program because ther...	serendipity	7	739	Feb 15, 2008 by nmike
	Is a Bowl of Ramen Noodles my HP (Preview) Somedays, it feels like it. I can always depend on Ramen. I always have it on hand. It always makes me feel better, makes me slow down and take care of myself. I can be so down, and I fix a bowl of Ramen noodles, and my mood lifts. I love the way it smells, the way it feels in my mouth. I am losing weight, which...	Becky1	17	794	Feb 15, 2008 by Karilynn
	Avoiding-Can I continue (Preview) Like I said I avoided the A last night when he called from jail. I just don't want to talk to him because I fear I will weaken my resolve. My feelings for him are still there. Can I continue to avoid him indefinitely or do I HAVE to have a conversation about my boundaries? Also, I know that when he hooks back u...	Codependent	5	624	Feb 15, 2008 by nmike
	Nature and Nurture? (Preview) I just suddenly thought, has my nature been at battle with my nurture all these years, I know when I don't go along with what is my nature I don't feel good in myself, as a mature women I surely should of had all the nurturing I need by now and beable to chose my own route. I must make it a rule of thumb to be tr...	Katy	0	816	Feb 15, 2008 by Katy
	Sad and scary (Preview) It is sad and scary for me to read so many posts in here about people getting divorced or expecting a divorce. I feel that way because it brings on yet another "what if..." cycle of thought patterns and projections in my own mind about my own relationship. Are relationships with A's doom...	Aloha	5	423	Feb 15, 2008 by Aloha
	Bear of little brain...UPDATE (Preview) Thank you for all your prayers. The brain scan proved I have a brain [though it may not be much of one - I am in good company with Pooh Bear!], and that there was nothing at this stage to be unduly worried about. PHEW!!!!! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!!! The Consultant informed me that he could see that BOTH e...	Heartbroken	8	619	Feb 14, 2008 by Jen
	A Mother (Preview) Well, since the A is in jail he is pressuring his mom to get him out for surgery. He says he wants to change, etc. She told him he could not live with her but suggested he come live with me and my son!! He responded that he would like that but wasn't sure what I would say. He wanted to talk to me when I was at he...	Codependent	5	429	Feb 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	Letting Go Of Those Not In Recovery (Preview) We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering. Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some dr...	Tenderheartsks	4	1349	Feb 14, 2008 by Codependent
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.