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I just don't care...and I don't know why....is this 'normal'?
(Preview)
Lately I have been noticing that I am having real trouble with not wanting to give of myself to anyone.Even at work,which is in retail, I find myself annoyed with customers who want my my help or my opinion on anything.They seem needy to me. I know it's my job to help customers but I find I just want to show t...
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drucilla06
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7
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656
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February Business Meeting Minutes
(Preview)
February Business Meeting Minutes: MIP February Business Meeting: Chair opened with the Serenity Prayer, !st thing on Agenda was the Secretary Report: Secretary presented the minutes from the January Business meeting. No corrections were needed. A motion was voted on and the January M...
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serenity62
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0
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359
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Running on fumes
(Preview)
I have been in the program for a few years now. I am new to the board though. I feel as though I have run out of gas. Tonight, I went to the store to pick something up. Along the way I spot my former husband's vehicle at these apartments. The vehicle was parked right in front of an opened door apartment. ...
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Zippers
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3
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460
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SICK OF IT ALL...
(Preview)
...see it only takes one little thing to bring me down and I am so unhappy with myself. Why did I not just say; "I love you all, I care about you and the children, however, I am not in any position to help you out financially." BECAUSE I am so scared of being the bad guy, the failure again AND BEING C...
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Heartbroken
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7
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589
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nervous
(Preview)
hi! i'm new here..i found this while looking for al-anon's website..i'm looking to go to a meeting this weekend...anyway, i guess i should say why i joined.. my brother is an awful alcoholic. he lives with my father, my sister and i. our mother passed away when i was 17, four years ago this past december...
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kozmicblues
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6
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452
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If it doesn't have my name on it........
(Preview)
I will not pick it up!!!! I heard this in a meeting and it is sticking in my thoughts. I can only deal with things that are my business. I am losing the desire to pick up those things which do not belong to me. It is a very freeing feeling to go about life and not be concerned with what is going on in other's lives...
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Gailey
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5
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687
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HELP...
(Preview)
I NEED HELP...GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH. I AM SO BURDEN DOWN; I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM ENGAGED TO AN A. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION BUT I KEEP TAKING HIM BACK (LIKE AN IDIOT). NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND WHY IM WITH HIM BECAUSE OF ALL THE BS HE PUTS ME THROUGH....
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DANDTALWAYS
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10
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397
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What am I feeling anyway?
(Preview)
Feeling really down tonight. I know I should be happy with how things are going . Things are working out as I give my worries to HP and let the answers come, but I am really bad about compartmentalizing (whew! that's a word to type) my life. One thing is going great because I am really working program on it a...
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Jen
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7
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557
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HELP...six months silence and then my daughter takes me to the cleaners again...
(Preview)
...ok I know I need to get this under control once and for all, and learn not to fall for it any more, but I am a real sucker 'cos I cannot let my grandchildren down and my daughter knows this and is very clever at working me on this one.
I need some feedback from you guys to help me t...
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Heartbroken
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7
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610
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Control
(Preview)
Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves. When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems see...
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Tenderheartsks
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1
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285
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happ v day to all
(Preview)
i hope everyone is having a wonderful valentines day,wish i could say i was,again i got nothing from SAH{just like birthday,our anniversary,and christmas}but that is ok im looking forward to going back up to ny to visit family,up there i will all the love that i need from my family..since SAH and i hav...
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bev
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4
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363
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Valentines Shmalentines
(Preview)
I bought my kids each a little gift for Valentines Day, but other than that didn't give it much thought. Then, I discovered it was best to keep the radio off on the way to work because the djs were making such a big deal about "love" and all, and I didn't want it to cloud my day. Okay, a red flag to...
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Loupiness
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5
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596
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Nasty response
(Preview)
He cannot affect my serenity. I texted him: "happy valentines day, I love you and am thinking of you and hope you have a good day" and he emailed me back a nasty little "your text made me uncomfortable considering the state of our marriage" song and dance. He can say and feel wha...
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Jean4444
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8
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636
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So, my situation is NOT unique?!?
(Preview)
I spent YEARS fighting with this program because my situation was SSSOOOO Unique that NO ONE else could possibly understand! I mean, NO ONE ever felt like I did, went thru what I did, was treated as badly as I was, had to figure out everyone else's lives like I did. And then I left this program because ther...
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serendipity
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7
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669
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Is a Bowl of Ramen Noodles my HP
(Preview)
Somedays, it feels like it. I can always depend on Ramen. I always have it on hand. It always makes me feel better, makes me slow down and take care of myself. I can be so down, and I fix a bowl of Ramen noodles, and my mood lifts. I love the way it smells, the way it feels in my mouth. I am losing weight, which...
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Becky1
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17
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727
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Avoiding-Can I continue
(Preview)
Like I said I avoided the A last night when he called from jail. I just don't want to talk to him because I fear I will weaken my resolve. My feelings for him are still there. Can I continue to avoid him indefinitely or do I HAVE to have a conversation about my boundaries?
Also, I know that when he hooks back u...
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Codependent
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5
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555
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Nature and Nurture?
(Preview)
I just suddenly thought, has my nature been at battle with my nurture all these years, I know when I don't go along with what is my nature I don't feel good in myself, as a mature women I surely should of had all the nurturing I need by now and beable to chose my own route. I must make it a rule of thumb to be tr...
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Katy
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0
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740
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Sad and scary
(Preview)
It is sad and scary for me to read so many posts in here about people getting divorced or expecting a divorce.
I feel that way because it brings on yet another "what if..." cycle of thought patterns and projections in my own mind about my own relationship.
Are relationships with A's doom...
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Aloha
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5
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350
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Bear of little brain...UPDATE
(Preview)
Thank you for all your prayers.
The brain scan proved I have a brain [though it may not be much of one - I am in good company with Pooh Bear!], and that there was nothing at this stage to be unduly worried about. PHEW!!!!! BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!!!!!
The Consultant informed me that he could see that BOTH e...
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Heartbroken
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8
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546
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A Mother
(Preview)
Well, since the A is in jail he is pressuring his mom to get him out for surgery. He says he wants to change, etc. She told him he could not live with her but suggested he come live with me and my son!! He responded that he would like that but wasn't sure what I would say. He wanted to talk to me when I was at he...
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Codependent
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5
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355
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Letting Go Of Those Not In Recovery
(Preview)
We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering. Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some dr...
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Tenderheartsks
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4
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1254
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THINK
(Preview)
Well, I was going back over the last week in "Hope for Today" and February 5's reading made me Think about thinking, and assess my ability to think positively.
It says: ...this slogan is intended to help me Think before I act, making sure my actions are well thought out, not impulsive, com...
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Heartbroken
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5
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273
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A dozen roses and a box of chocolates...
(Preview)
Ya, don't I wish LOL!!! I have been out sick with strep throat since the 8th. I have a ton of time making up to do to get out of the hole! I am just glad to have almost all of my health back again today! Still not quite right but I sure am greatful for what I do have! Some well wishes would be appreciated in rea...
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carolinagirl
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4
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444
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like a dream
(Preview)
I just wrote a long post and deleted. My life continues with huge family problems involving semi-sober son, his EX, our grandbaby/custody/visitation, sick husband, more surgeries coming for him, etc., very ill mother and failing father 1,000 miles from me, and me trying to cope with the cancer anx...
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omajoy
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8
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752
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MAKING THE WRONG CHOICES
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) I've done it again. Became emotional involved with a guy. I allowed my feelings for him to get in the way of my "Inner Happiness", and as usual,I allowed him to make me happy. I done the oppisite of what I usually do, I ended the relationship with him. WHY?...
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ally
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6
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533
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Had one heck of a time returning here! LOL
(Preview)
OK... I have been away for a while. Computer crashed, lost my "favorites" file, blah! blah! blah! Anyway, have been trying & trying to login, but was unable to find my sign-in name. So, I paged through and through and through all of the posts here, looking for what may be my sign-in...
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ESH
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3
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512
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KIMMY...AND ??????????
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) It never worked on myspace. You never added...lol PLEASE TRY AGAIN... love Ally Girl
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ally
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1
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275
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Baby, Baby...Where Did Our Love Go?
(Preview)
Hubby has been pestering me to death to talk, after almost 3 years of not. I don't know how to act, how to handle this revelation. Truth is, I am confused, scared, etc. I left him a 2 page scribbled note on the kitchen table on the way to work yesterday morning. Told him I was confused. How I felt shut dow...
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Becky1
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2
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498
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Never underestimate the truth of cheesy sayings
(Preview)
There's an ancient saying "To you, you may be one person in the world, but to one person, you may be the world." Or something like that. Wow, am I seeing that come true. Yesterday, I just couldn't take it. I felt like my world was caving in, and I was done. I was going to put in the paperwork t...
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Tiger2006
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5
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2006
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What do you say to everyone?
(Preview)
Well, he left three years ago. Says he wants a divorce but never has filed. I see him now and then for taxes and talk about our kids. It is obvious that he has checked out of this relationships even way before he actually left. He has been sober for over 20 years. People ask questions. I never know what to say...
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nmike
|
11
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635
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The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back
(Preview)
I filed for the divorce on Monday. I am still quite numb, but upright. So many reasons and I had been deliberating this decision for the last 5 months. I literary could not take it one more day - one more day of being blamed, erratic behavior, constant invasion of my privacy, silent treatment, and of co...
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optimistundone
|
4
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294
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Moving on with Me!
(Preview)
Hello alanon friends! As another day comes and goes without my AH living in the home anymore, I am slowly but surely relaxing and feeling happy for longer than ever before. I can't think of anything to worry about at the moment. I have shadows of those bad thoughts but they pass like vague memories. My he...
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silverbrumby
|
2
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427
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|
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Happy Valentine's Day!
(Preview)
((((((((((Family))))))), Tomorrow is Valentines Day here in the states. I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day. I love you all dearly and am incredibly greatful for your love, support, strength, encouragement and amazing humor! I have learned many lessons fr...
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Karilynn
|
5
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453
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|
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stuck between the dream & the reality
(Preview)
I remember a child's book called Leo the Lop - a bunny with fall down ears and the moral of the story was there was no such thing as normal, it was what you were use to. With al anon, I understand that our normal from past or present may not have been healthy. The emotional and verbal abuse is a hard one to rec...
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ddub
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2
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563
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|
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I thought it was my fault
(Preview)
Hi family,Some of you know that my first husband of 26 was an A. He was killed in a pedestrian accident. He was at a major event here in Oregon setting up a band my second husband played bass in. Sadly he left the mountain setting,walked to the nearby tourist restaurant and drank hard stuff. Got on the hiwa...
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debilyn
|
10
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727
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|
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extended family
(Preview)
Just plodding along the path and clearing away this and that as I stumble along. Here's one question some esh might help me take action. My anger is so comfortable at being subdued and internalised that I become afraid of everything. Strange inconsistancy as when I am confident and state the fact...
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ddub
|
5
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437
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|
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Anniversary...
(Preview)
How the time flies around here. I was reviewing my profile this morning and discovered that as of this past Friday I have been a member of this site for 3 years. I think I toiled around on here for about a year before that. I wanted to let you all know that this has been an amazing journey here with you all....
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AlaMom
|
7
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536
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|
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Please would you say a prayer...
(Preview)
...whilst I feel that I have made progress during the last week, I am a little concerned about the hospital appointment that I have tomorrow and the brain scan - though that will not take long as I am ' a bear of little brain...'[ similar to Pooh Bear] - none-the-less, it is a little scarey. Should get th...
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Heartbroken
|
8
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545
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|
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talked to SAH
(Preview)
when i picked him up from work today i told him a friend of ours from ny is coming down to florida with her boys{she is taking them to orlando}and she wanted to spend a few days with us and he said he didnt care,i went to tell him that when she goes back to ny in a week i was going to ride back with her so i could be th...
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bev
|
3
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415
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Great Ideas
(Preview)
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you must. 3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statem...
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Christy
|
6
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282
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in need of wisdom
(Preview)
Soon to be ex AH has always had some anger issues, not with us his family but with drivers on the road, store clerks etc...not much patience. I had to stop all contact with him over a month ago for my serenity and am filing for divorce this week. I know he was picked up in a bar a month ago by a police officer, wh...
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tryingtoheal
|
4
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435
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|
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An analogy-beauty and imperfection
(Preview)
I have had some spiritual awakenings in my recovery, and I wanted to share one of those with you today I learned many many moons ago how to crochet, but life got in the way, and when I married the alcoholic/addict, well, that was a full-time job trying to straighten him out! I never even considered croche...
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Tenderheartsks
|
5
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598
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|
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MYSPACE..come say hi..
(Preview)
((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) Got a myspace web page up and running. Feel free to drop on by and say hi... http://www.myspace.com/onthewayback (you need to have myspace to leave me a comment)... Love Ally Girl
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ally
|
0
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372
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|
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Jeckyll and Hyde
(Preview)
A friend of mine is so great (sober) and even one or two drinks she's ok, but after that she turns into something extremely unpleasant. I've seen this a million times. She literally becomes another person, and whoever this person IS I cannot stand. I've been with her in public when this OTHER personali...
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charlotteyorkgoldenblatt
|
16
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549
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He doesn't understand???Why???
(Preview)
Thankyou for your caring replies to my posts. I hope I am not posting too much. I met my A today to talk after being separated for 6 days. We hugged each other and he (and I) sobbed out loud. He doesn't understand why I am doing this and is concerned about how we are going to manage two homes. I wrote him a lon...
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silverbrumby
|
7
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477
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Question/Poll
(Preview)
Can anyone tell me how many of you have had your husband/wife/Sig other find soberity in AA, worked the program and have had stayed together? I see so many in AA who are hooked up with other recovering A's I just wonder whats the norm, what are the chances of "relationship survival" once the a...
|
ernie
|
10
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686
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"Co-dependent"? Noooo!!
(Preview)
Ugh.
I really dislike having to recognize things in me that I thought, somehow, I was "above" or even incapable of being.
I finally got my AH to see a counselor. Nooo. NO! Wait - *I* didn't get him to see the counselor. HE made the appointment. It just sucks that I was the one to initially su...
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Aloha
|
10
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653
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|
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graditude...lots of it! (long)
(Preview)
So, I am again in financial straights. I am seeing the pattern (FINALLY!) and am trying to figure it out. Ok, I am 56 dollars overdrawn in my checking. And that is all I have. NO savings, no IRA or 401K or credit, nothing. I live paycheck to paycheck and that doesn't begin to cover living. It really should s...
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serendipity
|
5
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571
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|
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Reality bites
(Preview)
I kicked my husband out of the house 10 days ago and every day I feel different. I miss him and I don't. I just feel so weird. I can't decide that I have done the right thing or not, now that I have leveled out. I crack a tooth and needed emergency treatment, guess who I rang when I didn't have enough money? Gues...
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silverbrumby
|
10
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650
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|
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International conferance
(Preview)
If anyone is going to the conferance in july, and is looking for someone to split the cost of a room. send me a message. Thanks, Dale
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Dale
|
5
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278
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Sober AH relapsed-what do I do?
(Preview)
My 72 day sober AH relapsed. I found beer cans hidden in the garbage (by accident-I dropped my keys in there and was digging them out.) And then I saw the 12 pack box in the outside garbage. I kind of felt he may have been drinking because he came to bed really late the last 2 nights which is unusual. Do I sa...
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Destynee
|
5
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620
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Thank you!!
(Preview)
Just a quick update to say Thank you.... Today was the 2nd court date for my AH for his OUIL on a snowmobile. As we drove out there and waited while the lawyer talked to the prosecuter, I was oddly very calm. The day of the arraignment, I was nervous and sick to my stomach all day. Even after his lawyer c...
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tma0413
|
0
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243
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FEAR of never sharing love again...
(Preview)
As a direct result of the very violent relationship that I experienced as the battered wife of an A, I have found it really difficult to even contemplate a loving relationship that might result in my finding a husband that I can go through the rest of my life with. I saw my marriage as being a union for life...
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Heartbroken
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3
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562
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|
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Understanding reality
(Preview)
I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. --Reggie Jackson We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families in our minds. We may have s...
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Tiger2006
|
1
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383
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Beat up in Jail
(Preview)
Well, The A got beat up by 5 people in the jail he was originally placed. Not sure what happened, but apparently he broke 4 or 5 bones around his eye socket and it may require reconstructive surgery. His mom paid to have him bonded out of that jail and transferred to another one that has a warrant on him- g...
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Codependent
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10
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661
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Too many plates in the air = anxiety (the opposite of serenity?)
(Preview)
I have noticed that I tend to pile on tasks, jobs, etc. when I am freaking out and feeling overwhelmed instead of simplifying. I can see that this "saying yes" or not being able to say "no" re: work/career stuff right now is my way of burying land mines for myself and sabotaging my s...
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Jean4444
|
6
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562
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|
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Should I nag or support? Should I be angry or undertanding?
(Preview)
My AB gave me the best news 3 days ago. He said that he was going to quit drinking because he was tired of it and "tired of feeling like shit every morning". he said this as he was pouring all of his leftover beer down the drain. i was thrilled, but i remained calm and told him that i was proud of h...
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concerned123
|
6
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526
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WHEN OUR ACTIONS HIDE OUR TRUE FEELINGS..
(Preview)
((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I've been doing some "soul searching" tonight. The last year of my life has been one big, ugly, merry-go-round. I have had every emotion know to man and woman, I've felt, jealousy, fear, pain, anger, hate, I've cried buckets over and over again. Rese...
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ally
|
5
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701
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|
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Here We Go Again
(Preview)
Friday, after almost 2 months of non-communicating, except to tell me he wants a divorce and hates me, my AH sends me a text that says "I love You" Big whoop-d-doo! I am numb. I am beyond tired of dealing with his crap. It took me a long, long time to get to this point. So, I just didn't answer him....
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Becky1
|
4
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500
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|
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Does it ever work out?
(Preview)
I am new to this board and new to being in a relationship with an A. I read so many posts and so many stories and most of the time it scares me because it seems like it is almost inevitable that my A will not be able to recover and eventually i will have no choice but to leave. Is my hope that he will beat this and...
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concerned123
|
8
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631
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