The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My 14 yr old left this morning to go snow camping with Scouts. For the first time ever, he completely packed all his stuff and I did not double check. The only thing I did do was strongly suggest he bring one more jacket and exchange a fleece shirt for a sweatshirt that he didn't know was cotton (cause "cotton kills", you know). And, he happily took my suggestions even though it took a little work. Progess for him too. Yay!
Does he have everything? I don't know. Will he get cold? Maybe. Will he be okay? Yeah, I am pretty sure. He is with 6 other boys and 3 leaders who are prepared. If he is missing something, he will figure it out.
I even let him bring a "snowboard" he made out of a skateboard, straps and duct tape. He decorated it with a sharpie and even wrote R.I.P. on it. lol! He was so excited and proud. Last year I don't think I would have let him bring it because of the danger of it all. This year I am trusting that between the leaders and God, he will be safe as he experiences some great boy fun. Now hopefully I won't be posting on Monday night that he ended up in the emergency room with a broken leg or concussion....
I am writing all this because I realize I am beginning to notice that I can change even if it isn't directly in the way I desire. I still question if it is al-anon or it's all because I am just tired, but given my controlling tendencies, being tired never stopped me before! In the past, I have taken the packing list and checked off everything in his backpack to make sure he didn't forget anything. I also waterproofed EVERYTHING and made him bring more than required. This time he took all the intiative an chose not to waterproof, and I let him. It was a good experience for him too.
So, as I dropped him off I told him I loved him. As he walked away, he got a big smile on his face, turned around and said, "I'm rather fond of you too". aaahhhh..... That was all I needed.
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
Nice work, Lou. Children and A's. We just tend to worry about all of 'em, don't we? Of course, your son will be okay - and if he is a little bit cold or wet or uncomfortable.....well....bet he'll realize what he needs to do for the next trip, right? And this is how they learn.... lol
I know how hard it is to sit on your hands. Very impressive.
I got a lump in my throat reading your post. I have 3 boys myself and I SO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN AND HOW GOOD THAT FELT.
A few years back one of my sons said (as I was trying to protect him ) "Mom, it's almost as if you don't trust me." GULP. Well that was all that I needed to learn to "back right off them." They learn confidence by making their own decisions and having the dignity of making their own mistakes.
All I can say is "You go girl!!!! I am so darn proud of you." And wow, look at the results when he left the car.
Thanks for sharing your good news, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
What a great story. I hope he has a great time. Being tired can be an advantage. It allowed you to do something you normally wouldn't have done. You've come a long way. Now enjoy the time you have for yourself. You did well. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Just so you know, "cotton kills" because in cold, wet weather it does not wick off the moisture, and instead soaks it up. Thus, when you get wet, you stay wet. Wool, fleece, poly have more of the properties to keep you dry.
I sure hope he becomes a cool man. Just not this weekend
Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
I have 3 sons too. All grown and on their own. The making a snowboard with duct tape reminds me of their younger days of always riggin' up things. They will be just fine. When I go out I take my credit card, chocolate, and a parachute. My youngest son said,"you don't have to plan everything, just wing it"
Brought a smile to my face, as I remember winter camping for my boy. If our Canadian Prairie winters couldn't kill the gang of idiots that he and his buddies were at that age, you have nothing to worry about. The stories he'd come back with - waking up with a foot of snow in the tent because one of them went out to pee and didn't close the tent up again, living on frozen hot dogs and frozen chocolate because they were too tired at night to build a fire (they spent their days clearing brush - my legally blind son doing all the axe work because he was the biggest, while the leaders relaxed around their own campfire 200 yards away, but that's another story...)
A little hardship doesn't hurt 'em, and it teaches natural consequences, same thing alanon is trying to get through our heads.
) "Mom, it's almost as if you don't trust me." GULP. Well that was all that I needed to learn to "back right off them." They learn confidence by making their own decisions and having the dignity of making their own mistakes.