Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

glad · glad

NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...

maresie · maresie

My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...

meagain · meagain

Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...

needhelp · needhelp

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...

meagain · meagain

I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...

Aloha · Aloha

Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...

maresie · maresie

Does anyone watch this show. I have started watching that and sometimes catch Intervention too. I find it really helpful in identifying traits that used to absolutely cement me to the A. I can also find myself in absolute hyper reactive mode of should could woulda about others. I am amused in some...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So Friday I'm at the restaurant getting ready to eat and the phone rings and it's him saying "what are you doing"... I'm about to eat lunch... mind you we were supposed to meet for lunch and I decided I wasn't going to call him back to schedule it and he never called me... So he says I just now go...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Something I think we can all be proud of within this family, is the fact that we accept how a person is feeling, where a person is at along their journey to recovery and let each other just be. At other times, we take each other by the hand and encourage each other, reaching out to keep each other from stumbl...

omajoy · omajoy

I am very upset right now because I just lost my temper big time with my son....had not done this for a few weeks and had been working so hard not to be drawn into things. But here we are. I am ashamed and embarrassed and my cheeks are actually burning, pulse still racing 45 minutes later, and not looking for...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Is anyone here familiar with PSI - I don't know what it stands for, but it basically involves large group awareness training. Lou

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I really need to see a list of what people have in their al-anon toolboxs. What al-anon tools do you have in your tool box? I am really just seriously getting into the practice of making program phone calls when I feel myself starting to plummet. so, here is my toolbox so far: 1.) attend as many face to fa...

kissers · kissers

My mother called me this morning. She doesn't see very well without her glasses. Last night, she made a salad and used a new salad dressing. When she was finished eating, she went to place the bowl in the dishwasher and noticed she had eaten her salad using her dog's bowl. She thought maybe the crunchy st...

ddub · ddub

Hello MIP family, I keep going some days only by the support and encouragement of this family. I know weekends can be tough for all of us so I thought I'd ask for a line of the week from all of you to review when I am detaching and trying to stay calm. As I take in something daily from al anon readings there s...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm just having a moody moment. Got off the phone with AH... he asked me to take him to the person's house where he's buying a moped during lunch. Fine. I'll take you. This whole time he's just chattering happily about doing this and that with the new moped, yadda yadda yadda... And all I can think abo...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((Family))) One of my weekly chores, is to fill the pill boxes for myself, my AH and my Mother in law. My AH is afraid to take his pills on days when he drinks. Before I started Al Anon, I was very controlling and would nag him about taking his pills every day because that way I would know he wasn't drinkin...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Due to the recent activity here in England caused by one of my prayers being misunderstood, and at the suggestion of round3, this is a serious request. I have a problem with sleeping because of the continual dizziness [Vertigo]. My meds have been changed and I am back at the doctors next week if there i...

Rakenjake · Rakenjake

Hi everyone, I found this group almost three months ago when my AH came home from work and asked for help. He had never gone a day without a drink for his entire adult life and had been an active user(morning drinker etc.) for the past few years. I was in active denial/protector mode myself...wonderin...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi all, Thank you for the responses from the last post. Maybe I came off as a little strong, but I want to make it clear that I didn't set the alarm clock because it's not my responsibility to make sure he gets up to go to work drunk....... Anyways, I made a big mistake today. My AH has been drunk for so long,...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some time ago I admitted to myself and my Sponsor whilst taking my searching and moral inventory of myself that I did not always tell the truth and this has really been pressing on my conscience ever since I admitted this. Down the years my birthday, Christmas, Mother's Days, Get Well times have never b...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

So in need to give you all a hug...and so in need to be hugged. Today is one of those days! however I am knocking it down to size. I am NOT GOING TO LET IT PULL ME DOWN. Instead I am handing out hugs and love to anyone who needs some genuine heartfelt loving hugs. Some come and get as much and as many as you like...

round3 · round3

Just thinking tonight how sick I've stayed for so long. I think recovery is just starting to clear some of the fog that has been over my head for YEARS! I mean, with the denial (denial, denial, denial!) and making excuses, and enabling, and all of that that I did with the A. Looking back over the past,...

DANDTALWAYS · DANDTALWAYS

I'm trying to figure out away to handle this situation. My fiancee has been stealing money from me to buy alcohol. I suspected him of doing this in the past but last night it was confirmed. i got off my work my friend was being very rude to me by calling me names. I told him he shouldn't disrespect me l...

mon123 · mon123

hello i have a situation brewing. Non program people wouldn't understand my issue here. I have a very good friend. She's seen me through the early days with my AH. She never judged me. She saw me through my separation and getting back together with my AH. She was a shoulder to cry on and I could vent withou...

maresie · maresie

I went out on a date on Saturday and pretty quickly gave up my boundaries. What was meant to be coffee became an all day thing. At first I was happy. That was the stuff of my dreams before. Merge merge merge. Now I am clear that I need a lot of help and feedback before I test the dating world again. So much for...

Aloha · Aloha

It seems no amount of Al-anon meetings and trying to be an understanding self-supportive person is doing me much good today. Everything my AH is doing today just TICKS me off. I'm finding everything wrong with him, it seems. He comes home from work late now that he got his moped today. He gets all...

digby · digby

I went to my meeting and it helped, but I wasn't ready for some of it. They recommended that I talk to his probabtion officer. He is not a juvenile and I really don't know that it I should intervene. I try to have him settle all his legal issues, and he has decided not to get a license yet. Yes, we drive him or...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

My AH is acting all cool, saw him this evening on his way somewhere all dressed up and sober and I'm starting to get paranoid and ask myself all these questions. "What's he up to"? He will be here all day while I am away and I am scared that he's happy because he might be taking revenge on me for kic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Thanks for all your responses to my post! I will end up keeping our kitty as long as I can. I just love her too much to give her up! My husband loves her, too, and would never want to give her up either. I hope I can take time outs more often and let her alone. I will be discussing anger issues with my counsel...

BatonRougian · BatonRougian

I knew that it would be hard for my AW to get sober again after 8 years clean. I was scared of the chronic slipper syndrome. So when I thought she was coming up on 10 months I was think wow she really beat the odds. Oh well. Found out she can hardly remember the last 3 weeks due to pill abuse. All I saw was a tired,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

After all the posts regarding my A and then the problems with my kids I have come to this conclusion. I have my own problems to deal with and my kids' problems to deal with and I don't have the time or energy to worry about whether he wants to see any of the kids or not. I'm not putting another ounce of energy i...

david62 · david62

Hi family! This Sunday nite at 9pm EST is the time for our next Business meeting to be held in the MIP Chatroom! Come one, come all!!! Here is the agenda so far! MIP Al-Anon Business Meeting March 2, 2008 Open with Serenity Prayer Secretary's Report ...

kissers · kissers

The company I work for is a member of an association. I serve on the committee of this association and there are events I am supposed to attend. One of them is an upcoming gala. I asked my boss for a check for a ticket to attend. He asked me to take a male colleague who is an A. I declined and I suggested taking a...

Aloha · Aloha

Muaaahahahaaaa It's interesting to me how alcoholism turns our loved ones into Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Tuesday, AH was crabby, spiteful and pouty. Wednesday, AH was just kinda reserved and grumpy but not in attack mode. Today AH and I had lunch together and my REAL husband (at least I HOPE) - not th...

Diva · Diva

The poster's concern about whether or not to ask a partner not to drink when they are together. Of interest were most of the replies because they suggested that we have no right to ask anyone not to drink when we are present. I can see that we might not ask co-workers or casual aquaintances; we can simp...

maresie · maresie

I know for me this date was a huge thing because I have stopped just jumping into relationships looking for a respite from chaos. When I met the A I was on the run from another relaitonship nothing like as bad as him but I was running. I was also really wanting somene to take care of me and I see that now as a co...

marmare · marmare

Your responses were wonderful. Yes one of the things I have been forgetting to do was things for me. I am off to reorganize my craft room, which of as late has become the room to store things in! LOL I also talked to my A. I had to wait until he was not drinking and I had an inner calmness. I remembered to use...

marmare · marmare

Have you had one of those moments, brought on by nothing, where you look at your spouse and think "is this as good as it gets?" This happened to me last Friday and is weighing on me......of course he wants to know what is going on with me because I seem different....he wasn't drunk or anything,...

serendipity · serendipity

And now I have an "aftertaste". I was watching my fav show on tv and the idea was that love knows no time frame and love can save lives. It was just really awsome and then my mother calls. I am immediatly scared because she never calls, especially at night. So that sent my mind racing. Also pisse...

CJ098 · CJ098

I want to scream. I'm trying to stay sane, and trying to detatch - so hard right now. My AH lost his job, and has been out of work for 3 months. We both decided to go back to school because we get the GI Bill from being in the military. He just got a new job. I'm trying to stay focused on school and work but it...

ddub · ddub

Last week I had planned to visit a young couple & baby but we were unable to find any time to visit except in an hour that very day and I ended up having them to our home to join us for supper. I expected they would stay for just a couple hours as they needed to put the baby to bed so that is why I couldn't visi...

thinkstoomuch · thinkstoomuch

Somebody mentioned this in a reply to a recent post, and I would love to see people's input on this. As one who "stuffed" for years without even realizing it, with occasional explosions, I'm getting better at not stuffing - but at the moment this just means more frequent, more public (even i...

Aloha · Aloha

In talking with my AH's brother last night, he said he asks his HP the following thing. Thought it was great and thought I'd share. He said every day, he asks God to gently remove the people from his life that are no good for him and to surround him with the people who are good for him. Loved that.

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Be careful what you think you asked for, it may not be what you actually get, 'cos someone up there has a real sense of humour! Suddenly the floor started to shake and the it felt like the whole house was moving. I found myself gripping the chair and desk tightly and thinking that the roof was going to come d...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got out of the shower this morning and the daycare lady was in my house there to tell me that my middle child has been stealing from her and lying about it.... I have been having issues with my children and my parenting for a while now and just can't seem to get things in line. I can sum it up in a few words aft...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I am plainly in survival mode right now. I am moving out of being totally nail bitingly barely scraping by but I am still isolated and still not taking care of my immediate needs. I am trying to brain storm how to do that. One thing I have come up with is to try simply to reduce my level of fati...

maresie · maresie

As you all know two weeks ago I came home to find one of my cats dead. I had been out at an interview. I knew my cat was sick and deteriorating but I was in denial. I heard today I am not even being considered for a 2nd interview. I have really put forth a lot of effort to get into particular institution and jus...

Aloha · Aloha

Whew, I had a rough night last night. I'm exhausted because I could hardly sleep on top of it after I went to bed. AH wanted to take the car and drive himself to an AA meeting. I told him I didn't like the idea of his driving without a license and said I'd take him. Everything from that point forward turne...

ddub · ddub

I've heard tradition 2 read & discussed during Feb. a couple times at f2f meetings. I've thought back about my personal family group - we all try to repeat our thoughts on issues which makes me think no one felt acknowledged or heard. This lead to us as parents becoming defensive and I felt th...

debilyn · debilyn

Up on Cripple Creek she sends me If I spring a leak she mends me I don't have to speak, she defends me A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one Sound familiar? Enabling comes to mind... Can't sleep,time for a change in med. and cortisone shots. And maybe a husband? I was asleep, tryi...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some of you will be aware, from my early posts, that I am not able to attend face2face meetings, though if there was one near enough and I was able to get to it I would go. Therefore I am wondering, it is 25+ years ago since I was able to attend a face2face meeting and my experiences were NOT good, would anyone...

kissers · kissers

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. Fo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Why is it that I feel guilty about him not seeing his son? I need to come to some resloution that puts the responsibility completely on him. I feel that by not answering the phone when he calls, responding to emails texts, etc. that I'm cutting off all opportunities for him to step up because I'm not al...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cat Spooky is precious but today she acted out--actually this morning and knocked a few important things off a table onto the floor and I really lost my serenity! She has recently been left alone inside because our other cat got sick and we had to put her to sleep. Anyway, she has been acting out a lot an...

Aloha · Aloha

I really want to start finding a sponsor... it's a hard thing for me to feel comfortable with, though... I mean, this sponsor is a person whom I might unload a lot of crap on. #1. Am I comfortable spilling my entire life story to a non-professional person whom I've maybe only met two or three times in a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well if you can't tell by the title, I talked to my A yesterday after almost a year of virtually no communication. I promised him that he could see the kids if he was still housed, working, sober and had a way to get there next month. So I called to see if he wanted to meet for lunch on Friday to talk about it....

digby · digby

I know I need to let him go and fall or get up on his own because I feel like I'm just bringing him a more drawn out death. I wish I could put him in a basket and leave him on the steps of a church or a rehab center. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to not see what a waste he's making of his life, I want to pret...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Would help so much to have feedback please (Preview) NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...	glad	7	623	Mar 4, 2008 by Loupiness
	I'm at the end of my rope! (Preview) I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...	carolinagirl	19	810	Mar 4, 2008 by maresie
	Live and let live (Preview) My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...	maresie	3	345	Mar 4, 2008 by java
	RE"anger (Preview) Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...	meagain	1	328	Mar 4, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	'I just want to give up and run for cover.' Believe me I know that feeling. (Preview) I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...	Heartbroken	7	517	Mar 4, 2008 by Heartbroken
	honesty (Preview) My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...	needhelp	6	451	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	Angry (Preview) I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...	meagain	5	475	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	I didn't take the bait (Preview) Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...	Aloha	10	811	Mar 3, 2008 by round3
	So, what do you do if you DON"T people please? (Preview) Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...	Jean4444	7	568	Mar 3, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Dr Drew show on VH1 (Preview) Does anyone watch this show. I have started watching that and sometimes catch Intervention too. I find it really helpful in identifying traits that used to absolutely cement me to the A. I can also find myself in absolute hyper reactive mode of should could woulda about others. I am amused in some...	maresie	3	1485	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	Update on Visit! (Preview) So Friday I'm at the restaurant getting ready to eat and the phone rings and it's him saying "what are you doing"... I'm about to eat lunch... mind you we were supposed to meet for lunch and I decided I wasn't going to call him back to schedule it and he never called me... So he says I just now go...	carolinagirl	8	382	Mar 3, 2008 by Aloha
	Something this family should be proud of... (Preview) Something I think we can all be proud of within this family, is the fact that we accept how a person is feeling, where a person is at along their journey to recovery and let each other just be. At other times, we take each other by the hand and encourage each other, reaching out to keep each other from stumbl...	Heartbroken	3	585	Mar 3, 2008 by canadianguy
	lOST IT AGAIN (Preview) I am very upset right now because I just lost my temper big time with my son....had not done this for a few weeks and had been working so hard not to be drawn into things. But here we are. I am ashamed and embarrassed and my cheeks are actually burning, pulse still racing 45 minutes later, and not looking for...	omajoy	10	481	Mar 3, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Anyone? (Preview) Is anyone here familiar with PSI - I don't know what it stands for, but it basically involves large group awareness training. Lou	Loupiness	3	344	Mar 3, 2008 by Heartbroken
	What's in YOUR toolbox? (Preview) I really need to see a list of what people have in their al-anon toolboxs. What al-anon tools do you have in your tool box? I am really just seriously getting into the practice of making program phone calls when I feel myself starting to plummet. so, here is my toolbox so far: 1.) attend as many face to fa...	Jean4444	10	6385	Mar 3, 2008 by Jen
	A Little Humor For Today (Preview) My mother called me this morning. She doesn't see very well without her glasses. Last night, she made a salad and used a new salad dressing. When she was finished eating, she went to place the bowl in the dishwasher and noticed she had eaten her salad using her dog's bowl. She thought maybe the crunchy st...	kissers	5	601	Mar 3, 2008 by cookie1971
	and here's the weekend........ (Preview) Hello MIP family, I keep going some days only by the support and encouragement of this family. I know weekends can be tough for all of us so I thought I'd ask for a line of the week from all of you to review when I am detaching and trying to stay calm. As I take in something daily from al anon readings there s...	ddub	6	490	Mar 2, 2008 by ddub
	Grahhhh. What about ME? (Preview) I'm just having a moody moment. Got off the phone with AH... he asked me to take him to the person's house where he's buying a moped during lunch. Fine. I'll take you. This whole time he's just chattering happily about doing this and that with the new moped, yadda yadda yadda... And all I can think abo...	Aloha	3	425	Mar 2, 2008 by soberthought
	AM I BEING CONTROLLING? (Preview) (((Family))) One of my weekly chores, is to fill the pill boxes for myself, my AH and my Mother in law. My AH is afraid to take his pills on days when he drinks. Before I started Al Anon, I was very controlling and would nag him about taking his pills every day because that way I would know he wasn't drinkin...	cookie1971	7	377	Mar 2, 2008 by soberthought
	Read any good books lately? (Preview) Due to the recent activity here in England caused by one of my prayers being misunderstood, and at the suggestion of round3, this is a serious request. I have a problem with sleeping because of the continual dizziness [Vertigo]. My meds have been changed and I am back at the doctors next week if there i...	Heartbroken	14	810	Mar 2, 2008 by Tuggboat
	light (Preview) Hi everyone, I found this group almost three months ago when my AH came home from work and asked for help. He had never gone a day without a drink for his entire adult life and had been an active user(morning drinker etc.) for the past few years. I was in active denial/protector mode myself...wonderin...	Rakenjake	5	527	Mar 2, 2008 by travors
	About to give up on him.... (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for the responses from the last post. Maybe I came off as a little strong, but I want to make it clear that I didn't set the alarm clock because it's not my responsibility to make sure he gets up to go to work drunk....... Anyways, I made a big mistake today. My AH has been drunk for so long,...	CJ098	4	539	Mar 2, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Moral, immoral or just plain apathetic? (Preview) Some time ago I admitted to myself and my Sponsor whilst taking my searching and moral inventory of myself that I did not always tell the truth and this has really been pressing on my conscience ever since I admitted this. Down the years my birthday, Christmas, Mother's Days, Get Well times have never b...	Heartbroken	5	609	Mar 2, 2008 by Heartbroken
	HUGS TO SPARE...LOVE TO GIVE... (Preview) So in need to give you all a hug...and so in need to be hugged. Today is one of those days! however I am knocking it down to size. I am NOT GOING TO LET IT PULL ME DOWN. Instead I am handing out hugs and love to anyone who needs some genuine heartfelt loving hugs. Some come and get as much and as many as you like...	Heartbroken	3	471	Mar 2, 2008 by cookie1971
	I've got a thick skull! (Preview) Just thinking tonight how sick I've stayed for so long. I think recovery is just starting to clear some of the fog that has been over my head for YEARS! I mean, with the denial (denial, denial, denial!) and making excuses, and enabling, and all of that that I did with the A. Looking back over the past,...	round3	10	601	Mar 1, 2008 by Jean4444
	Advice (Preview) I'm trying to figure out away to handle this situation. My fiancee has been stealing money from me to buy alcohol. I suspected him of doing this in the past but last night it was confirmed. i got off my work my friend was being very rude to me by calling me names. I told him he shouldn't disrespect me l...	DANDTALWAYS	26	803	Mar 1, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	Just want someone safe to listen (Preview) hello i have a situation brewing. Non program people wouldn't understand my issue here. I have a very good friend. She's seen me through the early days with my AH. She never judged me. She saw me through my separation and getting back together with my AH. She was a shoulder to cry on and I could vent withou...	mon123	4	668	Mar 1, 2008 by mon123
	Testing the water (Preview) I went out on a date on Saturday and pretty quickly gave up my boundaries. What was meant to be coffee became an all day thing. At first I was happy. That was the stuff of my dreams before. Merge merge merge. Now I am clear that I need a lot of help and feedback before I test the dating world again. So much for...	maresie	10	494	Mar 1, 2008 by CJ
	I'm in a dangerous place tonight (Preview) It seems no amount of Al-anon meetings and trying to be an understanding self-supportive person is doing me much good today. Everything my AH is doing today just TICKS me off. I'm finding everything wrong with him, it seems. He comes home from work late now that he got his moped today. He gets all...	Aloha	5	893	Mar 1, 2008 by maresie
	Letting go one thread at a time (Preview) I went to my meeting and it helped, but I wasn't ready for some of it. They recommended that I talk to his probabtion officer. He is not a juvenile and I really don't know that it I should intervene. I try to have him settle all his legal issues, and he has decided not to get a license yet. Yes, we drive him or...	digby	4	534	Mar 1, 2008 by omajoy
	now I'm getting paranoid..another phase? (Preview) My AH is acting all cool, saw him this evening on his way somewhere all dressed up and sober and I'm starting to get paranoid and ask myself all these questions. "What's he up to"? He will be here all day while I am away and I am scared that he's happy because he might be taking revenge on me for kic...	silverbrumby	6	661	Mar 1, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Spooky (Preview) Thanks for all your responses to my post! I will end up keeping our kitty as long as I can. I just love her too much to give her up! My husband loves her, too, and would never want to give her up either. I hope I can take time outs more often and let her alone. I will be discussing anger issues with my counsel...	Hoot Nanny	2	377	Mar 1, 2008 by Karilynn
	Leaving Her Be (Preview) I knew that it would be hard for my AW to get sober again after 8 years clean. I was scared of the chronic slipper syndrome. So when I thought she was coming up on 10 months I was think wow she really beat the odds. Oh well. Found out she can hardly remember the last 3 weeks due to pill abuse. All I saw was a tired,...	BatonRougian	6	468	Mar 1, 2008 by cookie1971
	I know what I'm going to do. (Preview) After all the posts regarding my A and then the problems with my kids I have come to this conclusion. I have my own problems to deal with and my kids' problems to deal with and I don't have the time or energy to worry about whether he wants to see any of the kids or not. I'm not putting another ounce of energy i...	carolinagirl	9	707	Feb 29, 2008 by debilyn
	March Business Meeting - This Sunday Night! (Preview) Hi family! This Sunday nite at 9pm EST is the time for our next Business meeting to be held in the MIP Chatroom! Come one, come all!!! Here is the agenda so far! MIP Al-Anon Business Meeting March 2, 2008 Open with Serenity Prayer Secretary's Report ...	david62	0	368	Feb 29, 2008 by david62
	Is this crossing the line? (Preview) The company I work for is a member of an association. I serve on the committee of this association and there are events I am supposed to attend. One of them is an upcoming gala. I asked my boss for a check for a ticket to attend. He asked me to take a male colleague who is an A. I declined and I suggested taking a...	kissers	5	706	Feb 29, 2008 by maresie
	Jekyl and Hyde (Preview) Muaaahahahaaaa It's interesting to me how alcoholism turns our loved ones into Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Tuesday, AH was crabby, spiteful and pouty. Wednesday, AH was just kinda reserved and grumpy but not in attack mode. Today AH and I had lunch together and my REAL husband (at least I HOPE) - not th...	Aloha	8	541	Feb 29, 2008 by maresie
	I read (past tense) with interest... (Preview) The poster's concern about whether or not to ask a partner not to drink when they are together. Of interest were most of the replies because they suggested that we have no right to ask anyone not to drink when we are present. I can see that we might not ask co-workers or casual aquaintances; we can simp...	Diva	18	1444	Feb 29, 2008 by TLC2
	seeing new things (Preview) I know for me this date was a huge thing because I have stopped just jumping into relationships looking for a respite from chaos. When I met the A I was on the run from another relaitonship nothing like as bad as him but I was running. I was also really wanting somene to take care of me and I see that now as a co...	maresie	4	466	Feb 29, 2008 by java
	WOW (Preview) Your responses were wonderful. Yes one of the things I have been forgetting to do was things for me. I am off to reorganize my craft room, which of as late has become the room to store things in! LOL I also talked to my A. I had to wait until he was not drinking and I had an inner calmness. I remembered to use...	marmare	3	368	Feb 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	Any ideas would help.... (Preview) Have you had one of those moments, brought on by nothing, where you look at your spouse and think "is this as good as it gets?" This happened to me last Friday and is weighing on me......of course he wants to know what is going on with me because I seem different....he wasn't drunk or anything,...	marmare	7	521	Feb 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	wierd 5 minutes (Preview) And now I have an "aftertaste". I was watching my fav show on tv and the idea was that love knows no time frame and love can save lives. It was just really awsome and then my mother calls. I am immediatly scared because she never calls, especially at night. So that sent my mind racing. Also pisse...	serendipity	3	379	Feb 29, 2008 by Aloha
	Lost job, went to detox, still drinking (Preview) I want to scream. I'm trying to stay sane, and trying to detatch - so hard right now. My AH lost his job, and has been out of work for 3 months. We both decided to go back to school because we get the GI Bill from being in the military. He just got a new job. I'm trying to stay focused on school and work but it...	CJ098	8	1000	Feb 29, 2008 by CJ098
	the insanity of it all..... (Preview) Last week I had planned to visit a young couple & baby but we were unable to find any time to visit except in an hour that very day and I ended up having them to our home to join us for supper. I expected they would stay for just a couple hours as they needed to put the baby to bed so that is why I couldn't visi...	ddub	9	494	Feb 28, 2008 by round3
	"Ways to identify negative emotions & let them be felt in the moment" (Preview) Somebody mentioned this in a reply to a recent post, and I would love to see people's input on this. As one who "stuffed" for years without even realizing it, with occasional explosions, I'm getting better at not stuffing - but at the moment this just means more frequent, more public (even i...	thinkstoomuch	8	667	Feb 28, 2008 by Jen
	Words of wisdom (Preview) In talking with my AH's brother last night, he said he asks his HP the following thing. Thought it was great and thought I'd share. He said every day, he asks God to gently remove the people from his life that are no good for him and to surround him with the people who are good for him. Loved that.	Aloha	7	880	Feb 28, 2008 by Aloha
	:laughing: Did the earth move for you last night...it certainly did for me...and boy will I remember it? (Preview) Be careful what you think you asked for, it may not be what you actually get, 'cos someone up there has a real sense of humour! Suddenly the floor started to shake and the it felt like the whole house was moving. I found myself gripping the chair and desk tightly and thinking that the roof was going to come d...	Heartbroken	15	694	Feb 28, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Parenting tips please... (Preview) I got out of the shower this morning and the daycare lady was in my house there to tell me that my middle child has been stealing from her and lying about it.... I have been having issues with my children and my parenting for a while now and just can't seem to get things in line. I can sum it up in a few words aft...	carolinagirl	18	624	Feb 28, 2008 by java
	Reaching out (Preview) As you all know I am plainly in survival mode right now. I am moving out of being totally nail bitingly barely scraping by but I am still isolated and still not taking care of my immediate needs. I am trying to brain storm how to do that. One thing I have come up with is to try simply to reduce my level of fati...	maresie	6	476	Feb 28, 2008 by Maria123
	letting go (Preview) As you all know two weeks ago I came home to find one of my cats dead. I had been out at an interview. I knew my cat was sick and deteriorating but I was in denial. I heard today I am not even being considered for a 2nd interview. I have really put forth a lot of effort to get into particular institution and jus...	maresie	5	365	Feb 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Rough night (Preview) Whew, I had a rough night last night. I'm exhausted because I could hardly sleep on top of it after I went to bed. AH wanted to take the car and drive himself to an AA meeting. I told him I didn't like the idea of his driving without a license and said I'd take him. Everything from that point forward turne...	Aloha	6	476	Feb 28, 2008 by Aloha
	my family group dynamics (Preview) I've heard tradition 2 read & discussed during Feb. a couple times at f2f meetings. I've thought back about my personal family group - we all try to repeat our thoughts on issues which makes me think no one felt acknowledged or heard. This lead to us as parents becoming defensive and I felt th...	ddub	3	470	Feb 27, 2008 by ddub
	just sharing, probably boring (Preview) Up on Cripple Creek she sends me If I spring a leak she mends me I don't have to speak, she defends me A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one Sound familiar? Enabling comes to mind... Can't sleep,time for a change in med. and cortisone shots. And maybe a husband? I was asleep, tryi...	debilyn	6	454	Feb 27, 2008 by Becky1
	Face to Face Meetings... (Preview) Some of you will be aware, from my early posts, that I am not able to attend face2face meetings, though if there was one near enough and I was able to get to it I would go. Therefore I am wondering, it is 25+ years ago since I was able to attend a face2face meeting and my experiences were NOT good, would anyone...	Heartbroken	17	987	Feb 27, 2008 by Jen
	A Little Humor For Today (Preview) A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. Fo...	kissers	4	603	Feb 27, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Guilty Feelings! (Preview) Why is it that I feel guilty about him not seeing his son? I need to come to some resloution that puts the responsibility completely on him. I feel that by not answering the phone when he calls, responding to emails texts, etc. that I'm cutting off all opportunities for him to step up because I'm not al...	carolinagirl	18	582	Feb 27, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	My Cat Spooky (Preview) My cat Spooky is precious but today she acted out--actually this morning and knocked a few important things off a table onto the floor and I really lost my serenity! She has recently been left alone inside because our other cat got sick and we had to put her to sleep. Anyway, she has been acting out a lot an...	Hoot Nanny	10	496	Feb 27, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) I really want to start finding a sponsor... it's a hard thing for me to feel comfortable with, though... I mean, this sponsor is a person whom I might unload a lot of crap on. #1. Am I comfortable spilling my entire life story to a non-professional person whom I've maybe only met two or three times in a...	Aloha	8	819	Feb 26, 2008 by Aloha
	Denial and Delusions (Preview) Well if you can't tell by the title, I talked to my A yesterday after almost a year of virtually no communication. I promised him that he could see the kids if he was still housed, working, sober and had a way to get there next month. So I called to see if he wanted to meet for lunch on Friday to talk about it....	carolinagirl	17	640	Feb 26, 2008 by carolinagirl
	How do I leave my son (Preview) I know I need to let him go and fall or get up on his own because I feel like I'm just bringing him a more drawn out death. I wish I could put him in a basket and leave him on the steps of a church or a rehab center. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to not see what a waste he's making of his life, I want to pret...	digby	11	669	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
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