Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Aloha · Aloha

Muaaahahahaaaa It's interesting to me how alcoholism turns our loved ones into Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Tuesday, AH was crabby, spiteful and pouty. Wednesday, AH was just kinda reserved and grumpy but not in attack mode. Today AH and I had lunch together and my REAL husband (at least I HOPE) - not th...

Diva · Diva

The poster's concern about whether or not to ask a partner not to drink when they are together. Of interest were most of the replies because they suggested that we have no right to ask anyone not to drink when we are present. I can see that we might not ask co-workers or casual aquaintances; we can simp...

maresie · maresie

I know for me this date was a huge thing because I have stopped just jumping into relationships looking for a respite from chaos. When I met the A I was on the run from another relaitonship nothing like as bad as him but I was running. I was also really wanting somene to take care of me and I see that now as a co...

marmare · marmare

Your responses were wonderful. Yes one of the things I have been forgetting to do was things for me. I am off to reorganize my craft room, which of as late has become the room to store things in! LOL I also talked to my A. I had to wait until he was not drinking and I had an inner calmness. I remembered to use...

marmare · marmare

Have you had one of those moments, brought on by nothing, where you look at your spouse and think "is this as good as it gets?" This happened to me last Friday and is weighing on me......of course he wants to know what is going on with me because I seem different....he wasn't drunk or anything,...

serendipity · serendipity

And now I have an "aftertaste". I was watching my fav show on tv and the idea was that love knows no time frame and love can save lives. It was just really awsome and then my mother calls. I am immediatly scared because she never calls, especially at night. So that sent my mind racing. Also pisse...

CJ098 · CJ098

I want to scream. I'm trying to stay sane, and trying to detatch - so hard right now. My AH lost his job, and has been out of work for 3 months. We both decided to go back to school because we get the GI Bill from being in the military. He just got a new job. I'm trying to stay focused on school and work but it...

ddub · ddub

Last week I had planned to visit a young couple & baby but we were unable to find any time to visit except in an hour that very day and I ended up having them to our home to join us for supper. I expected they would stay for just a couple hours as they needed to put the baby to bed so that is why I couldn't visi...

thinkstoomuch · thinkstoomuch

Somebody mentioned this in a reply to a recent post, and I would love to see people's input on this. As one who "stuffed" for years without even realizing it, with occasional explosions, I'm getting better at not stuffing - but at the moment this just means more frequent, more public (even i...

Aloha · Aloha

In talking with my AH's brother last night, he said he asks his HP the following thing. Thought it was great and thought I'd share. He said every day, he asks God to gently remove the people from his life that are no good for him and to surround him with the people who are good for him. Loved that.

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Be careful what you think you asked for, it may not be what you actually get, 'cos someone up there has a real sense of humour! Suddenly the floor started to shake and the it felt like the whole house was moving. I found myself gripping the chair and desk tightly and thinking that the roof was going to come d...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I got out of the shower this morning and the daycare lady was in my house there to tell me that my middle child has been stealing from her and lying about it.... I have been having issues with my children and my parenting for a while now and just can't seem to get things in line. I can sum it up in a few words aft...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I am plainly in survival mode right now. I am moving out of being totally nail bitingly barely scraping by but I am still isolated and still not taking care of my immediate needs. I am trying to brain storm how to do that. One thing I have come up with is to try simply to reduce my level of fati...

maresie · maresie

As you all know two weeks ago I came home to find one of my cats dead. I had been out at an interview. I knew my cat was sick and deteriorating but I was in denial. I heard today I am not even being considered for a 2nd interview. I have really put forth a lot of effort to get into particular institution and jus...

Aloha · Aloha

Whew, I had a rough night last night. I'm exhausted because I could hardly sleep on top of it after I went to bed. AH wanted to take the car and drive himself to an AA meeting. I told him I didn't like the idea of his driving without a license and said I'd take him. Everything from that point forward turne...

ddub · ddub

I've heard tradition 2 read & discussed during Feb. a couple times at f2f meetings. I've thought back about my personal family group - we all try to repeat our thoughts on issues which makes me think no one felt acknowledged or heard. This lead to us as parents becoming defensive and I felt th...

debilyn · debilyn

Up on Cripple Creek she sends me If I spring a leak she mends me I don't have to speak, she defends me A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one Sound familiar? Enabling comes to mind... Can't sleep,time for a change in med. and cortisone shots. And maybe a husband? I was asleep, tryi...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some of you will be aware, from my early posts, that I am not able to attend face2face meetings, though if there was one near enough and I was able to get to it I would go. Therefore I am wondering, it is 25+ years ago since I was able to attend a face2face meeting and my experiences were NOT good, would anyone...

kissers · kissers

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. Fo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Why is it that I feel guilty about him not seeing his son? I need to come to some resloution that puts the responsibility completely on him. I feel that by not answering the phone when he calls, responding to emails texts, etc. that I'm cutting off all opportunities for him to step up because I'm not al...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cat Spooky is precious but today she acted out--actually this morning and knocked a few important things off a table onto the floor and I really lost my serenity! She has recently been left alone inside because our other cat got sick and we had to put her to sleep. Anyway, she has been acting out a lot an...

Aloha · Aloha

I really want to start finding a sponsor... it's a hard thing for me to feel comfortable with, though... I mean, this sponsor is a person whom I might unload a lot of crap on. #1. Am I comfortable spilling my entire life story to a non-professional person whom I've maybe only met two or three times in a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well if you can't tell by the title, I talked to my A yesterday after almost a year of virtually no communication. I promised him that he could see the kids if he was still housed, working, sober and had a way to get there next month. So I called to see if he wanted to meet for lunch on Friday to talk about it....

digby · digby

I know I need to let him go and fall or get up on his own because I feel like I'm just bringing him a more drawn out death. I wish I could put him in a basket and leave him on the steps of a church or a rehab center. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to not see what a waste he's making of his life, I want to pret...

parksy · parksy

my husband has always been a drinker but never like this, its been 5 years solid now, he knows i wont have him drinking in the house because of the kids so he spends all his time in the pub,usually 16 hour stints a day!. so i am alone. i used to chase him everywhere and phone him, then one day about 7 years ago i j...

kissers · kissers

A few years ago I was working at a college. Students would visit the office everyday. I was taught very early in life to be nice to everyone no matter how I really felt. A student came into the office one day and I felt an intense feeling of dislike for him. I would not say hello to him when he came in the office...

ESH · ESH

Haven't seen or heard from my A-bf since the first part of February. Have been trying not to count the days, but have noticed that it's what I do anyway. He binged badly this time; according to his parents it is one of the worst they have seen. He was hallucinating; he was crawling around on the floor bec...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I went with a friend and saw the movie, "Juno" last night. It is about a young girl who gets pregnant and gives her baby up for adoption. Anyhow, there was a moment in the movie that really struck me. It took me a while to really figure out why, and I am still sorting it out. It was after she gave bi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I decided to share this after some thought because some may have questions about the disease and someways it will manifest itself. Some won't care or see the reason for it. Understanding turns lights on and results in Ahas!! and leads to us having a clearer hindsight and map with whic...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

It's all good... I like that saying. I have never been so unstressed for such a long time. It's almost a month since we separated and I am still floating. I miss him sometimes in a nostaligic way but then when I see him he is all heavy and gloomy and brooding and I just want to run away! I don't know how I lived w...

BlueAlexis · BlueAlexis

Hello, everyone. I am new here and looking for some advice about a current problem I am dealing with. Let me give a brief history of myself first....... I was in a 5-year romantic relationship with an alcoholic, which I ended several years ago. Our relationship was of course very tumultuous and codepe...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))), I've been thinking about this post for a few days now. I have been trying to figure out a way to do this that will not offend anyone, nor hurt anyone's feelings nor break anonymity. My intent is good in purpose as well as to get people to think (including myself). I hope you will ta...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

Aloha · Aloha

I read this in a "Dear Annie" column a few weeks ago - and actually, the letter writer was addressing bi-polar disorder, but the following phrase from her letter really struck a chord with me: The brain is a physical organ subject to malfunction, the same as every other organ of t...

wp · wp

Help help, anyone. I can't get into the mip room on java tonight. What do I do now? mspw

omajoy · omajoy

I have been in an anxious and difficult mood for several days. More than days really....I have been trying to NOT think these thoughts. But since they are just flooding my mind and I cannot alleviate them, I must just write them down and send them out. I dare not talk about this with my sick spouse; he do...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and can't control it! Alcoholism is a disease that causes dis-ease! And, alcohol is only a symptom of a real "thinking problem". My alanon group here comes up with all kinds of insight. Jen is one of our best! Keep coming back & don't leave until the mi...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

When the time comes... Does an Acorn dictate when it fall from a tree? Does a Catepillar crawl away from its cocoon? No, they follow obediently natures timely plea; And dance and bow To a Creators tune. Just as surely as the Sun rises after the Moon, and the rivers flow into the Sea, so the seasons lead the...

serendipity · serendipity

My meeting this morning was on the 2nd step and reacting. Someone brought up the fact that they react to their kids as they were reacted to in their family. With anger and frustration. Boy oh boy could I relate!!! I have been such a b**** to my kids. And my kids are exceptionally good kids. Probably becaus...

debilyn · debilyn

I am happy to share my son and I are talking again. I had left him an African mask on his doorknob. He emailed me. He is stressed about a bunch of stuff. As always overreacts. I believe it will be ok.I mostly told him how I felt. It was not that I had to know everything. I was only scared. I have lost so many loved...

round3 · round3

This is a song by Kelly Clarkson - and it rings so true for me. I've had this CD for quite some time, but I heard this song out of the blue tonight and the words just jumped out at me. Here they are.... "Beautiful Disaster" (Kelly Clarkson) He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme I know He...

serendipity · serendipity

I replied to Jean444's post yesterday and I was saying that I had 2 things that I have been thinking but I couldn't remember the other thing. I did today! It is (drum roll please....) I don't have to think about him!!!!! Tada!!!! LOL!!! I really do not have to think about him at all. He has no more power in my...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

The events of our past may plague us, but they did contribute to the fullness we feel today. And for them, for their involvement in who we've become, we can be grateful. Claiming ourselves, the good and the bad, is healing. It's taking responsibility--for where we were and where we're going. Claimi...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family))) Today I had to work from 8-6, work was hectic as we were very busy. Of course the retired AH did nothing all day as usual. My daughter called at 4pm to say she would be going out to her boyfriends tonight and wouldn't be home until late. I came home to find the AH passed out cold on the couch he...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is dedicated to my husband! I don't know how I survived in this cold & empty world for all this time I only know that I'm alive Because you love me. When I recall what I've been through There are some things I didn't do Now I do the things I do Because you love me. Now that you're in my life I'm so glad...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I wanted all of you to know that I received a lot of wonderful information to my last post, entitled, "Why do I continue to stay wrapped up in my ex A? ESH please.." I want to thank you for all the kind words as well as kindly telling me (agreeing with me) that my butt was o fire. LOL After reading t...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello family Sorry I haven't kept in touch like I should. Hope I am still welcome... My ex-fiancee (boyfriend, not hubby) and I have been separated for over a year and I feel I should have made so much progress in recapturing my life and making it better. Not.....I have been pining away for this man, who i...

nmike · nmike

But for the grace of my HP I guess. I was walking home from work last night in yet one more snow storm (try to imagine this Jerry F, he, he). I just could not get past my present situation. You work and live a lifetime to be a good person, eat well, exercise, have kids and raise them well, work, work hard, work h...

Maria123 · Maria123

We've got us a birthday girl today!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday (((((((((OurTiger))))))))))))), Eat lotsa and have a great day love ya, Maria

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I have got through days of NOT giving in, NOT paying the bill, NOT folding under the clever, intense, daily manipulation and I am feeling good. My daughter has had to go sort the mess out for her self and I have NOT played the rescuer. And, y'know what, I DON'T FEEL GUILTY AND I DON'T FEEL BAD, AND I DON'T FEE...

Maria123 · Maria123

My friends, I just had to share this funny and awesome moment with you all. It is yet another snowy day in New England (God will this snow ever end?) and I get a call from my 22 year old. In his best Maria imitating, and comedic voice, he says "Mom, it's snowing out today. You need to keep 3 car length...

Lady · Lady

Hi all .... I am new member here, but have been reading and absorbing for some time and I have began Alanon meetings in my area as well. I found a wonderful article by a man I repect as a marriage/family counselor, William Harley. He has written many popular books such as "His Needs, Her Needs...

Aloha · Aloha

Today's reading (February 21) in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon saved me this morning. It saved me from myself - from sending myself into a spiral. I can't remember exactly the text from it (the book is at home right now), but the jist of it was stop wondering if your A is lying to you. Stop putting yoursel...

round3 · round3

Got an email this morning from the exBF A. Chatty. Mentioned that he is hurting, mourning. Just a mention of that in passing. Said he doesn't and hasn't had a love life (since us), but he hopes I've found one. Said he didn't know why he was writing, but he knew I would understand and he wanted to hea...

maresie · maresie

when I lived with the A which in essence was only a few short months ago. I spent much of my summer with him in essence although I did not live with him, I was convinced I knew what was best for him.This summer when he decided to be homeless I became convinced I knew what was best for him in regards to living, an...

tea2 · tea2

I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hello friends! I am so blessed to be on this amazing journey! And I, for once in my life, made the decision to make it!! I have never experienced the feelings that I have at the moment. I think I am feeling what freedom is like. I have been deceived for a long time. Though I still fluctuate ,I am, one day at a ti...

maresie · maresie

I do not yet have the job I need (that is with benefits and vacation). I do have something interim which is a mixed bag. I got to go to the doctors and took care of some pretty important issues. I am incredilby broke after years with the A. I desperately need dental work and glasses. I also really need to...

gardengal · gardengal

Oh wow what a concept. For us who have squirreled away some money for bread, milk, rent etc before the A in our lives takes it and buys booze. I always thought if I could only win the lottery things would be much better, my troubles would go away. Anything could be possible with that much money! But the que...

maresie · maresie

Fro me over the past week or so I've been confined to bed with a horrible flu. I could not get out of bed for a week or more and I had to surrender. I did not go into a pit of self pity about having no one. I did not do anything much but surrender to that I'm not in a good space. I am not in as bad a space as I've been in....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Jekyl and Hyde (Preview) Muaaahahahaaaa It's interesting to me how alcoholism turns our loved ones into Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Tuesday, AH was crabby, spiteful and pouty. Wednesday, AH was just kinda reserved and grumpy but not in attack mode. Today AH and I had lunch together and my REAL husband (at least I HOPE) - not th...	Aloha	8	480	Feb 29, 2008 by maresie
	I read (past tense) with interest... (Preview) The poster's concern about whether or not to ask a partner not to drink when they are together. Of interest were most of the replies because they suggested that we have no right to ask anyone not to drink when we are present. I can see that we might not ask co-workers or casual aquaintances; we can simp...	Diva	18	1374	Feb 29, 2008 by TLC2
	seeing new things (Preview) I know for me this date was a huge thing because I have stopped just jumping into relationships looking for a respite from chaos. When I met the A I was on the run from another relaitonship nothing like as bad as him but I was running. I was also really wanting somene to take care of me and I see that now as a co...	maresie	4	397	Feb 29, 2008 by java
	WOW (Preview) Your responses were wonderful. Yes one of the things I have been forgetting to do was things for me. I am off to reorganize my craft room, which of as late has become the room to store things in! LOL I also talked to my A. I had to wait until he was not drinking and I had an inner calmness. I remembered to use...	marmare	3	300	Feb 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	Any ideas would help.... (Preview) Have you had one of those moments, brought on by nothing, where you look at your spouse and think "is this as good as it gets?" This happened to me last Friday and is weighing on me......of course he wants to know what is going on with me because I seem different....he wasn't drunk or anything,...	marmare	7	454	Feb 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	wierd 5 minutes (Preview) And now I have an "aftertaste". I was watching my fav show on tv and the idea was that love knows no time frame and love can save lives. It was just really awsome and then my mother calls. I am immediatly scared because she never calls, especially at night. So that sent my mind racing. Also pisse...	serendipity	3	315	Feb 29, 2008 by Aloha
	Lost job, went to detox, still drinking (Preview) I want to scream. I'm trying to stay sane, and trying to detatch - so hard right now. My AH lost his job, and has been out of work for 3 months. We both decided to go back to school because we get the GI Bill from being in the military. He just got a new job. I'm trying to stay focused on school and work but it...	CJ098	8	936	Feb 29, 2008 by CJ098
	the insanity of it all..... (Preview) Last week I had planned to visit a young couple & baby but we were unable to find any time to visit except in an hour that very day and I ended up having them to our home to join us for supper. I expected they would stay for just a couple hours as they needed to put the baby to bed so that is why I couldn't visi...	ddub	9	430	Feb 28, 2008 by round3
	"Ways to identify negative emotions & let them be felt in the moment" (Preview) Somebody mentioned this in a reply to a recent post, and I would love to see people's input on this. As one who "stuffed" for years without even realizing it, with occasional explosions, I'm getting better at not stuffing - but at the moment this just means more frequent, more public (even i...	thinkstoomuch	8	598	Feb 28, 2008 by Jen
	Words of wisdom (Preview) In talking with my AH's brother last night, he said he asks his HP the following thing. Thought it was great and thought I'd share. He said every day, he asks God to gently remove the people from his life that are no good for him and to surround him with the people who are good for him. Loved that.	Aloha	7	804	Feb 28, 2008 by Aloha
	:laughing: Did the earth move for you last night...it certainly did for me...and boy will I remember it? (Preview) Be careful what you think you asked for, it may not be what you actually get, 'cos someone up there has a real sense of humour! Suddenly the floor started to shake and the it felt like the whole house was moving. I found myself gripping the chair and desk tightly and thinking that the roof was going to come d...	Heartbroken	15	627	Feb 28, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Parenting tips please... (Preview) I got out of the shower this morning and the daycare lady was in my house there to tell me that my middle child has been stealing from her and lying about it.... I have been having issues with my children and my parenting for a while now and just can't seem to get things in line. I can sum it up in a few words aft...	carolinagirl	18	551	Feb 28, 2008 by java
	Reaching out (Preview) As you all know I am plainly in survival mode right now. I am moving out of being totally nail bitingly barely scraping by but I am still isolated and still not taking care of my immediate needs. I am trying to brain storm how to do that. One thing I have come up with is to try simply to reduce my level of fati...	maresie	6	410	Feb 28, 2008 by Maria123
	letting go (Preview) As you all know two weeks ago I came home to find one of my cats dead. I had been out at an interview. I knew my cat was sick and deteriorating but I was in denial. I heard today I am not even being considered for a 2nd interview. I have really put forth a lot of effort to get into particular institution and jus...	maresie	5	300	Feb 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Rough night (Preview) Whew, I had a rough night last night. I'm exhausted because I could hardly sleep on top of it after I went to bed. AH wanted to take the car and drive himself to an AA meeting. I told him I didn't like the idea of his driving without a license and said I'd take him. Everything from that point forward turne...	Aloha	6	406	Feb 28, 2008 by Aloha
	my family group dynamics (Preview) I've heard tradition 2 read & discussed during Feb. a couple times at f2f meetings. I've thought back about my personal family group - we all try to repeat our thoughts on issues which makes me think no one felt acknowledged or heard. This lead to us as parents becoming defensive and I felt th...	ddub	3	395	Feb 27, 2008 by ddub
	just sharing, probably boring (Preview) Up on Cripple Creek she sends me If I spring a leak she mends me I don't have to speak, she defends me A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one Sound familiar? Enabling comes to mind... Can't sleep,time for a change in med. and cortisone shots. And maybe a husband? I was asleep, tryi...	debilyn	6	389	Feb 27, 2008 by Becky1
	Face to Face Meetings... (Preview) Some of you will be aware, from my early posts, that I am not able to attend face2face meetings, though if there was one near enough and I was able to get to it I would go. Therefore I am wondering, it is 25+ years ago since I was able to attend a face2face meeting and my experiences were NOT good, would anyone...	Heartbroken	17	913	Feb 27, 2008 by Jen
	A Little Humor For Today (Preview) A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. Fo...	kissers	4	535	Feb 27, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Guilty Feelings! (Preview) Why is it that I feel guilty about him not seeing his son? I need to come to some resloution that puts the responsibility completely on him. I feel that by not answering the phone when he calls, responding to emails texts, etc. that I'm cutting off all opportunities for him to step up because I'm not al...	carolinagirl	18	511	Feb 27, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	My Cat Spooky (Preview) My cat Spooky is precious but today she acted out--actually this morning and knocked a few important things off a table onto the floor and I really lost my serenity! She has recently been left alone inside because our other cat got sick and we had to put her to sleep. Anyway, she has been acting out a lot an...	Hoot Nanny	10	425	Feb 27, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) I really want to start finding a sponsor... it's a hard thing for me to feel comfortable with, though... I mean, this sponsor is a person whom I might unload a lot of crap on. #1. Am I comfortable spilling my entire life story to a non-professional person whom I've maybe only met two or three times in a...	Aloha	8	731	Feb 26, 2008 by Aloha
	Denial and Delusions (Preview) Well if you can't tell by the title, I talked to my A yesterday after almost a year of virtually no communication. I promised him that he could see the kids if he was still housed, working, sober and had a way to get there next month. So I called to see if he wanted to meet for lunch on Friday to talk about it....	carolinagirl	17	576	Feb 26, 2008 by carolinagirl
	How do I leave my son (Preview) I know I need to let him go and fall or get up on his own because I feel like I'm just bringing him a more drawn out death. I wish I could put him in a basket and leave him on the steps of a church or a rehab center. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to not see what a waste he's making of his life, I want to pret...	digby	11	602	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	i dont know anything anymore! (Preview) my husband has always been a drinker but never like this, its been 5 years solid now, he knows i wont have him drinking in the house because of the kids so he spends all his time in the pub,usually 16 hour stints a day!. so i am alone. i used to chase him everywhere and phone him, then one day about 7 years ago i j...	parksy	7	510	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Trusting Ourselves (Preview) A few years ago I was working at a college. Students would visit the office everyday. I was taught very early in life to be nice to everyone no matter how I really felt. A student came into the office one day and I felt an intense feeling of dislike for him. I would not say hello to him when he came in the office...	kissers	4	286	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	In limbo and keeping busy; working the program (Preview) Haven't seen or heard from my A-bf since the first part of February. Have been trying not to count the days, but have noticed that it's what I do anyway. He binged badly this time; according to his parents it is one of the worst they have seen. He was hallucinating; he was crawling around on the floor bec...	ESH	5	431	Feb 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	on my terms (Preview) I went with a friend and saw the movie, "Juno" last night. It is about a young girl who gets pregnant and gives her baby up for adoption. Anyhow, there was a moment in the movie that really struck me. It took me a while to really figure out why, and I am still sorting it out. It was after she gave bi...	Loupiness	4	337	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Part of the compulsion lived for a lifetime (Preview) Aloha Family!! I decided to share this after some thought because some may have questions about the disease and someways it will manifest itself. Some won't care or see the reason for it. Understanding turns lights on and results in Ahas!! and leads to us having a clearer hindsight and map with whic...	Jerry F	8	456	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	It's all good (Preview) It's all good... I like that saying. I have never been so unstressed for such a long time. It's almost a month since we separated and I am still floating. I miss him sometimes in a nostaligic way but then when I see him he is all heavy and gloomy and brooding and I just want to run away! I don't know how I lived w...	silverbrumby	2	241	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Am I being controlling by asking my partner not to drink socially? (Preview) Hello, everyone. I am new here and looking for some advice about a current problem I am dealing with. Let me give a brief history of myself first....... I was in a 5-year romantic relationship with an alcoholic, which I ended several years ago. Our relationship was of course very tumultuous and codepe...	BlueAlexis	21	814	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	Also known as..... (Preview) (((((((Family))))), I've been thinking about this post for a few days now. I have been trying to figure out a way to do this that will not offend anyone, nor hurt anyone's feelings nor break anonymity. My intent is good in purpose as well as to get people to think (including myself). I hope you will ta...	Karilynn	11	471	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	I think I found a great definition of love and happiness!!? (Preview) True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.	Jean4444	6	1181	Feb 26, 2008 by maresie
	A new way to view the brain (Preview) I read this in a "Dear Annie" column a few weeks ago - and actually, the letter writer was addressing bi-polar disorder, but the following phrase from her letter really struck a chord with me: The brain is a physical organ subject to malfunction, the same as every other organ of t...	Aloha	4	545	Feb 25, 2008 by round3
	Door to room shut on me tonight (Preview) Help help, anyone. I can't get into the mip room on java tonight. What do I do now? mspw	wp	2	361	Feb 25, 2008 by aunitedway
	A difficult mood (Preview) I have been in an anxious and difficult mood for several days. More than days really....I have been trying to NOT think these thoughts. But since they are just flooding my mind and I cannot alleviate them, I must just write them down and send them out. I dare not talk about this with my sick spouse; he do...	omajoy	8	361	Feb 25, 2008 by maresie
	the 3 C's (Preview) We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and can't control it! Alcoholism is a disease that causes dis-ease! And, alcohol is only a symptom of a real "thinking problem". My alanon group here comes up with all kinds of insight. Jen is one of our best! Keep coming back & don't leave until the mi...	Hoot Nanny	0	417	Feb 25, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Acorns and Oak Trees...Catepillars and Butterflies... (Preview) *When the time comes...* Does an Acorn dictate when it fall from a tree? Does a Catepillar crawl away from its cocoon? No, they follow obediently natures timely plea; And dance and bow To a Creators tune. Just as surely as the Sun rises after the Moon, and the rivers flow into the Sea, so the seasons lead the...	Heartbroken	5	1096	Feb 25, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	rambling about kids and steps and stuff (Preview) My meeting this morning was on the 2nd step and reacting. Someone brought up the fact that they react to their kids as they were reacted to in their family. With anger and frustration. Boy oh boy could I relate!!! I have been such a b**** to my kids. And my kids are exceptionally good kids. Probably becaus...	serendipity	1	442	Feb 25, 2008 by carolinagirl
	My son (Preview) I am happy to share my son and I are talking again. I had left him an African mask on his doorknob. He emailed me. He is stressed about a bunch of stuff. As always overreacts. I believe it will be ok.I mostly told him how I felt. It was not that I had to know everything. I was only scared. I have lost so many loved...	debilyn	7	444	Feb 25, 2008 by maresie
	Beautiful Disaster (Preview) This is a song by Kelly Clarkson - and it rings so true for me. I've had this CD for quite some time, but I heard this song out of the blue tonight and the words just jumped out at me. Here they are.... "Beautiful Disaster" (Kelly Clarkson) He drowns in his dreams An exquisite extreme I know He...	round3	3	261	Feb 25, 2008 by Codependent
	Oh I remember what the other thing was! (Preview) I replied to Jean444's post yesterday and I was saying that I had 2 things that I have been thinking but I couldn't remember the other thing. I did today! It is (drum roll please....) I don't have to think about him!!!!! Tada!!!! LOL!!! I really do not have to think about him at all. He has no more power in my...	serendipity	5	511	Feb 25, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Another take on flashbacks (Preview) The events of our past may plague us, but they did contribute to the fullness we feel today. And for them, for their involvement in who we've become, we can be grateful. Claiming ourselves, the good and the bad, is healing. It's taking responsibility--for where we were and where we're going. Claimi...	Jean4444	2	269	Feb 25, 2008 by babysteps
	AH SWEET SOLACE (Preview) ((((Family))) Today I had to work from 8-6, work was hectic as we were very busy. Of course the retired AH did nothing all day as usual. My daughter called at 4pm to say she would be going out to her boyfriends tonight and wouldn't be home until late. I came home to find the AH passed out cold on the couch he...	cookie1971	4	296	Feb 25, 2008 by cookie1971
	My HONEY! (Preview) This is dedicated to my husband! I don't know how I survived in this cold & empty world for all this time I only know that I'm alive Because you love me. When I recall what I've been through There are some things I didn't do Now I do the things I do Because you love me. Now that you're in my life I'm so glad...	Hoot Nanny	3	380	Feb 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	More about Let Go and Let God (Preview) I wanted all of you to know that I received a lot of wonderful information to my last post, entitled, "Why do I continue to stay wrapped up in my ex A? ESH please.." I want to thank you for all the kind words as well as kindly telling me (agreeing with me) that my butt was o fire. LOL After reading t...	hippietrippiechick	0	310	Feb 24, 2008 by hippietrippiechick
	Why do I continue to stay wrapped up in my ex A? ESH please (Preview) Hello family Sorry I haven't kept in touch like I should. Hope I am still welcome... My ex-fiancee (boyfriend, not hubby) and I have been separated for over a year and I feel I should have made so much progress in recapturing my life and making it better. Not.....I have been pining away for this man, who i...	hippietrippiechick	7	614	Feb 24, 2008 by Heartbroken
	How did I get to where I am? (Preview) But for the grace of my HP I guess. I was walking home from work last night in yet one more snow storm (try to imagine this Jerry F, he, he). I just could not get past my present situation. You work and live a lifetime to be a good person, eat well, exercise, have kids and raise them well, work, work hard, work h...	nmike	5	634	Feb 24, 2008 by Karilynn
	Happy Birthday Tiger (Preview) We've got us a birthday girl today!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday (((((((((OurTiger))))))))))))), Eat lotsa and have a great day love ya, Maria	Maria123	8	427	Feb 24, 2008 by Karilynn
	RED LETTER DAY (Preview) I have got through days of NOT giving in, NOT paying the bill, NOT folding under the clever, intense, daily manipulation and I am feeling good. My daughter has had to go sort the mess out for her self and I have NOT played the rescuer. And, y'know what, I DON'T FEEL GUILTY AND I DON'T FEEL BAD, AND I DON'T FEE...	Heartbroken	12	509	Feb 23, 2008 by cookie1971
	Just when you think they are not listening . . . (Preview) My friends, I just had to share this funny and awesome moment with you all. It is yet another snowy day in New England (God will this snow ever end?) and I get a call from my 22 year old. In his best Maria imitating, and comedic voice, he says "Mom, it's snowing out today. You need to keep 3 car length...	Maria123	5	573	Feb 23, 2008 by cookie1971
	Co-dependency ~ Alcoholism (Preview) Hi all .... I am new member here, but have been reading and absorbing for some time and I have began Alanon meetings in my area as well. I found a wonderful article by a man I repect as a marriage/family counselor, William Harley. He has written many popular books such as "His Needs, Her Needs...	Lady	16	697	Feb 23, 2008 by newday
	"One Day at a Time in Al-Anon" saved me today (Preview) Today's reading (February 21) in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon saved me this morning. It saved me from myself - from sending myself into a spiral. I can't remember exactly the text from it (the book is at home right now), but the jist of it was stop wondering if your A is lying to you. Stop putting yoursel...	Aloha	5	566	Feb 23, 2008 by godsmerci1
	Where did my program go? (Preview) Got an email this morning from the exBF A. Chatty. Mentioned that he is hurting, mourning. Just a mention of that in passing. Said he doesn't and hasn't had a love life (since us), but he hopes I've found one. Said he didn't know why he was writing, but he knew I would understand and he wanted to hea...	round3	9	588	Feb 23, 2008 by drucilla06
	Giving up control (Preview) when I lived with the A which in essence was only a few short months ago. I spent much of my summer with him in essence although I did not live with him, I was convinced I knew what was best for him.This summer when he decided to be homeless I became convinced I knew what was best for him in regards to living, an...	maresie	1	366	Feb 23, 2008 by nmike
	Copyrighting (repeat of post) (closed) (Preview) I would like to post a reminder about copyrighting, because this site is home to so many I really find this issue so important to revisit.Below is what I had posted November 2006 * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retri...	tea2	0	369	Feb 22, 2008 by tea2
	What an amazing journey! (Preview) Hello friends! I am so blessed to be on this amazing journey! And I, for once in my life, made the decision to make it!! I have never experienced the feelings that I have at the moment. I think I am feeling what freedom is like. I have been deceived for a long time. Though I still fluctuate ,I am, one day at a ti...	silverbrumby	6	596	Feb 22, 2008 by maresie
	new job/new leaf (Preview) I do not yet have the job I need (that is with benefits and vacation). I do have something interim which is a mixed bag. I got to go to the doctors and took care of some pretty important issues. I am incredilby broke after years with the A. I desperately need dental work and glasses. I also really need to...	maresie	6	321	Feb 22, 2008 by maresie
	I thought my troubles would go away , IF I won the lottery (Preview) Oh wow what a concept. For us who have squirreled away some money for bread, milk, rent etc before the A in our lives takes it and buys booze. I always thought if I could only win the lottery things would be much better, my troubles would go away. Anything could be possible with that much money! But the que...	gardengal	12	683	Feb 22, 2008 by Lady
	learning here are limits (Preview) Fro me over the past week or so I've been confined to bed with a horrible flu. I could not get out of bed for a week or more and I had to surrender. I did not go into a pit of self pity about having no one. I did not do anything much but surrender to that I'm not in a good space. I am not in as bad a space as I've been in....	maresie	6	494	Feb 22, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.