Your responses were wonderful. Yes one of the things I have been forgetting to do was things for me.  I am off to reorganize my craft room, which of as late has become the room to store things in! LOL

I also talked to my A.  I had to wait until he was not drinking and I had an inner calmness.  I remembered to use the right words talking about my feelings first and not "what he said or did"

We also talked about other things.  It seemed to be a positive thing, for both of us.  I didn't allow things he tried to say...lol I would stop him....from trying to make my feelings less important then his.  Or allowing him to try and justify what he said.  I stated it was wrong, his actions were not acceptable.

I feel somewhat better this morning.  Oh yes in response of sadness, yes I was sad ( I do take an anti-depressant since I lost my mother) I was sad that I trusted my feelings not to be hurt by my A.  I understand now that sometimes, even with all the progress he and I have made that my feelings may still be hurt, but by me not sharing with him about what is bothering me doesn't help the situation.  We talked about if I am too emotional about something,  to give him a time when we can talk about it and then stick to that later time to talk. 

When I went through counseling a couple years ago the counselor used an ice berg picture to deal with feelings.  I used this yesterday....imagining an ice berg floating on the water with some on it below the surface.  My major feeling (hurt) floating on top like the ice.....then after looking under the surface I examined other feelings (like HALT) I found I was a little angry, somewhat disappointed but mostly embarassed. 

Thank you to all my family here! 

Hugs Mare