Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

NewMom07 · NewMom07

If he gets drunk while he is suppose to care for our 3-month-old daughter, should I leave him? He has never been physically abusive, but is emotionally abusive to me when he is drunk. He suffers from depression. His father is also an Alcoholic, and encourages him to drink. He admits he has a problem and...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

A few months ago I had my granddaughter overnight, and had to take her to her mother's the next day (my alcoholic/addict 30 year old daughter). The daughter had been out of jail for some time, and was living with a new 'bf', someone she had met through the small church she's been attending since she's bee...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

I am a support worker and go into homes of those who are frail because of illness or age. Most of my clients are dying of preventable diseases and the ones who confront me the most of course are those dying of alcoholism. Some have wives who are nursing them and others are alone with their television sets...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Last night I was a speaker at an al-anon meeting. Its kind of my home group. I was really scared. I mean, I have done a ton of public speaking but this was really different. It was super hard but I did it and I shared some things that were very personal and very painful. It really brought some stuff back up for...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Having just finished an email to my sponsor because I felt it was too late to call, I thought I'd share some good things that happened yesterday/today. ****side note first: you all are COMPLETELY AWESOME!!!**** I've been thinking the past couple of days how funny typing "my A" or "th...

glad · glad

okay silly question / post about boundries, but just in case you guys never hear from me again you'll know why- (kidding I promise) BF ask me/ offered for me to use his truck to go to my work appointments because my car is really dangerous at the moment, something wrong with axel. In his truck at last minu...

debilyn · debilyn

Been working on,ok what would make me feel better inside. So doing stuff here to make my home not such a muck up Today I drove from stupid Mapquests directions to pick up a ewe an ewe? wierd, anyway,got sorta lost.drove up, I mean UP this winding steep road wayyyyyyy up to the sky, truck ran out of gas.wond...

omajoy · omajoy

I have had some discussions recently with my counselor about anger. It seems that is the emotion I am most frequently experiencing lately...the one which undoes me in my quest for recovery and peace. He has gently pointed out to me that I have lots of reasons to be angry at the world the past months. My...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking a lot lately about what this really means in general, and specifically to me in my life. I think a lot of times courage is about getting past crippling fears and doing what is right. Then other times courage is doing the right thing even though it's not what I want to do or it's not com...

round3 · round3

I've had 3 1/2 months with little to no contact from my A. During this time, I've discovered (and rediscovered) some things about myself. Thanks to this board and the program, I have opened up my eyes to lots of truths. I'm still digesting some of them and learning so many important things. So I go out...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Things are getting better slowly but surely. I am starting to let go of some of my character defects that are coming back to me lately. I mean past experiences are reminding me how truly "imperfect" I am. I am letting go of the need to control others, how I tend to be in the "all about m...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family)))) Having a discussion with the AH today, and he comes up with "Didn't you say your meeting also has AA on Wednesday Night?" So I say yes it does. Then he says I think I'll go with you tomorrow night. Hmmm. Mind you now, this man has attended only 2 AA meetings so far, so I'm not reall...

Joy · Joy

... and I don't want to be here. I am tired of being "sick" too! I'm not an alcoholic. I don't stay out all night. If anything, I am overly responsible! Tell me again... why am I "sick" too. I am sick... sick and tired. Fed up. Angry as hell! My first post here... and just needin...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm just feeling so much better now that I released my perceived "control" over my AH's drinking. That was, of course, threatening him that I'd leave if he drank again. Now... this doesn't mean that I'm not still figuring out my boundaries. I DO have to draw the line at some point. But I'm n...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm just blown away at how quickly my HP responds and sends me answers and relief. At times, my life is like those V8 commercials. Have you seen them? Some person will be filling their plate with bread and meat and then someone will come along and bonk them on the forehead for not including any vegetabl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just wanted to share that my daughter (13) came into my room Sunday night at 4am - guess it was more like monday morning - and said she coundn't breathe. Then she got her inhaler and took a puff or two. She said her throat hurt so I took her in the bathroom and turned on the light and tried to get her to stick...

maresie · maresie

I think I always seem to be reporting some disaster or another but I am actually working super hard to get to better self care. I managed in the short period of time I was unemployed (I am grateful for that even though I really could have done with a longer break) and get some medication I really needed. I ha...

Maria123 · Maria123

PARENT Job Description This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad , Dad dy, Dad a, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work i n an often chaotic environment...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((((((((((((((Ash aka Lauren aka Ashbaby)))))))))))))))))))))) Happy Birthday Girl. I hope your day was wonderful. Love ya, Maria

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

All I can say really is that today is better than yesterday! I just keep plugging away and it seems like I am doing a little better day by day. I just need to let go of some things and clear the clutter from my mind and my own personal space. I guess it is almost time for some Spring cleaning. The snow is melti...

glad · glad

Okay besides the fact that I have got to get over my excitement about finding this relief to my pain of last few years and get some balance in my life, I mean I've go to get my work done sometime (more specifics on what I'm so happy about in my post response to "hp sure does work fast") but I'm tryi...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Last week I was thinking about how my 2 older kids needed dressers in their rooms. My daughter has 2 small ones which cannot hold all the clothes she has strewn about her room (lots of hand-me-downs from a cousin) and my son has been supposed to use the shelves in his closet, but doesn't. I kick myself for g...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just think that one of our members brought up an excellent topic recently and that is the issue of staying or leaving our A's. I wanted to bring it up in its own string because we seem to really get hung up on this staying/leaving "ZONE" and thinking that we can somehow control our A's by makin...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Living with the family disease of alcoholism is like going down a mountain... pretty easy to keep slipping further down. Recovering from this same disease is like going back up the mountain. It can be done... but it takes endurance and time and having the proper knowledge to know when to take a breat...

david62 · david62

Happy Sunday (((Family))) Just wanted to bring up a couple of "business items" for everyone to consider. 1. At last month's business meeting we discussed the "Frequently Asked Questions" post at the top of the board. When they were placed up there, we decided to revisit the...

maresie · maresie

My tiny Siamese Ruby is not well. She is not eating much. She is drinking though and not dehydrated and her level of activity is high. I am going to change her food and get her basic protein some other way. Please send up your prayers for her. I have really been struggling with the animals. The beagle dog...

travors · travors

Hello all, Just today it occurred to me how much help the al-anon slogans are to me every day but the one that stands head and shoulders above the rest (for me) is: "Let go" I use it in so many ways, when I worry, when I'm scared, when I obsess, when I interfere - just to name a few. So my question to y...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Thanks, everyone for all your responses, I finally had the nerve to have a talk with Dad, and I think it went well. I'm learning very slowly to not hold things in anymore because it just eats you up inside. He is an addict, but he isn't abusive or he doen't blame me for his drinking. We have had long talks abo...

glad · glad

I keep learning new words and people's experiences and going ohhh, so that's why we fight like that or that's why we struggle with that. A post called what someone did or said a double bind but I don't exactly get it. Would someone please explain or give me another example? Thanks really will help- I have...

omajoy · omajoy

You have all read my vents on this situation I am in. My son's intermittent alcohol abuse led to a quick nasty divorce, secretly arranged by his EX, no legal counsel for him, he just said OK to it all and trusted her verbal promises. Two years of hell have ensued, with me in the middle. I was not asked nor di...

Codependent · Codependent

I was just reading one of the many wise responses to my last post and just wanted to pose the question...has anyone actually found their happy ending? Someone asked the great question..." If the A were sober and living the good life would he choose you to spend his life with?" While I don't...

debilyn · debilyn

I have vented on here quite a few times. Nothing has changed. nothing. What has changed is I give up. No worries please, I don't expect anyone to do anything or suggest anything. Believe me I have problem solved to death. Hav e worked hard on this. I used to: have a home, a loving mate, my kids, mother, fam...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I do not like birthdays or anything associated with them. Has nothing to do with aging, but it is an emotional thing for me because of my childhood issues. Anyhow, my daughter just turned 11 and the celebrating has come to an end (finally!) with a slumber party. Thank goodness! I was soooo resistant...

Codependent · Codependent

I promise I am not trying to play devil's advocate. You all have just given me a lot to think about and as I do more questions arise. I hope you all will see I am just trying to process it all and have patience with me. :) So many of your posts refer to choice..in terms of would he choose you? Or does he ever c...

Affected121 · Affected121

At a loss for what to do, I started writing, and ended up with a letter to a woman who is neither friend nor family, but has put me in the middle of this nonetheless. "How could you put so much into lying to the world that there's no room left for those who think you are the world? With every lie you bu...

JenniferN · JenniferN

First, I must tell you, this will most likely be a long post.... The weekend completely sucked.... It started with Friday, my 32nd birthday...woke him up at 1 p.m. (he works 3rd shift) to see if I could have the truck for the weekend or if he was taking me to my mother's house...He said he needed the truck a...

Aloha · Aloha

You know - it only just now dawned on me how weird my life has been and how in some bizarre way, each numerical month of the year I'm in happens to be the same number of the step I'm working. Month one, January - is when my life just flipped upside down, inside out and took a screaming cannon-ball leap into a...

glad · glad

I've recently set a few boundries and kinda feel like superwoman this morning. I will no longer have "self doubt" everytime I am not agreed with or I don't get my hearts desire. I can't expain it but I think I'm beginning to "get it" in terms of being able to be happy regardless of w...

Aloha · Aloha

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Great Recovery Group meeting last night that I attended. I loved it because there was so little discussion about our A's and our dealing with our A's. Just more focus on how we connect with our Hig...

ESH · ESH

Spent part of today going through (and shredding) all of my journals about my relationship with my A-bf and going through (and tossing out) all of the cards that he had ever given to me. I have been grieving the loss of our relationship for so long now that I don't even know exactly when "the loss o...

DANDTALWAYS · DANDTALWAYS

Well, my ABF has left...so I am getting a "break"...and it feels so good ...simply amazing, when he got out the car, my headache immediately went away! :) He call about 20 minutes later and said to me...you sound so happy now that I'm gone. I said, really you don't say (smiling). Anyway,...

ESH · ESH

Not only have an A-bf, but realizing a few of my nieces & nephews may be alcoholics, too. It scares me to think of the life that they are setting up for themselves... scares me to no end. It's one thing to have an A-bf... but quite another when it is a person that you have known since they were an itty-b...

serendipity · serendipity

A friend in my meeting this morning said " I used to believe that I had to control the universe. Comming here I learned I was NOT responsible for the world and that was such a HUGE relief!" I thought, Yeah, me too. But more so I felt that HP was in control, but I still needed to tell HP how to do it rig...

Codependent · Codependent

Okay, so I gave some thought to this after all your wonderful posts in response to my current situation. I think I get out of it...1. The ability to believe that I am having a relationship with him that he is now sober and present for which I never did when he was out of jail. 2. The ability to believe that...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

Hi and thanks for being out there. I have been reading here for about a week, and it helps. I am in a bad time right now, all the more bad as it is familiar. I have been going to meetings for about 3 months now, once or maybe 2 times a week. I am still so isolated. I am today feeling really angry at my ah of 20 y...

hudsond · hudsond

Hello everybody! It has been awhile. I am back from maternity and have the cutest little 8 week old boy! I am back enjoying the baby stage even though my sober ah can get on my nerves about how I should do things. After the 1st month I wasn't sure we were going to make it, but I decided to try and let it roll...

serendipity · serendipity

I have been awful down lately, on myself and others. So, I was trying to remember the good things about myself. Maybe I don't apperciate these things or maybe I don't feel grateful for them, but they are still there. So, here goes! I am honest (even more so since leaving the A) with myself and with others...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

Hi family! I haven't been here for a long time (a month+) and I have missed you all. The basic gist of my life now is that my AH went to detox for a little over a week and when he got out, was living with his dad & sister. He took 10 ambiens one night and flipped out so they kicked him out and his brother too...

Christy · Christy

(((((Alanuts))))) I felt a bit misunderstood but moreso kind of frustrated in a recent post. As I mulled it over I thought my frustration might be because I couldn't find the words I needed. I think what the book, "Happier Than God" has to say in terms of our choosing our personal truths has...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am confused but hanging in there! Anxiety got me yesterday and I feel like I need a break. I hope that I can start to feel better soon. I just need to say that I am confused and kinda depressed since I had a crazy weekend and am not in my right frame of mind still. I wish I could say more but because of anonymi...

java · java

I'm on my 4th marriage dealing with the effects of alcoholism. I have been spending a lot of time being resentful with my current husband and thought maybe I should talk on gratitude. When I came into this program after my second marriage I would never have understood me. What makes me tick, why I'm attr...

JenniferN · JenniferN

um ok...so while I was making a reply post just a few minutes ago the woman called...the fellow AA member from the far away group....wanting to speak to him, when I told her he wasn't here she apologized for bothering me but was just wondering if he was coming out there tonight to the meeting....I told he...

Jen · Jen

It is hard to tell my AH this. He is doing pretty well, has 6 months sober. But he often gets into this frame of mind that he seems to want reactions from me that validate his feelings about himself. So we had a discussion yesterday, before he left, about how I feel when he acts like this. He hovers around me,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I went and the social worker came and I felt so much better having her there. My daughter had ISS (in school suspension) yesterday for being "disrespectful" and apparently she had made bunny ears behind the teacher and been chewing gum earlier in the day. Seemed frivilous to me but the...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Haven't posted in a long time. I feel I got sucked back in Big time. E/ A/Bf called me just after the first of January, asking for my help. It was the worst I have ever seen him. Pain pills, muscle relaxers, slleeping pills and beer, hard liquor. And trying to raise his 8 year old son. This is a man who lived wi...

boobahsmommy · boobahsmommy

First I would like to say hello to you all. I hope that I'm in the right place (I've been told that this is where I need to be). Let me give you some background real quick. My fiance and I are both addicts. I am currently in recovery while he is still in active addiction. We are pretty much at the end. We h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, This is going to be a whiney post, but I just need to get it out. My ah is trying to redeem himself as a father, which I know I should appreciate, but it bugs me! Yesterday while I was at work, and he wasn't, he left a voicemail asking if I wanted him to pick up anything for my daughter's bday party t...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I had the day off (wow!) and AH asked if I wanted to go to his doctor's appt with him. I said I didn't want to go if he wasn't going to tell the doc what was really going on. He said he needed help and wanted to talk to the doctor so I said OK. He was honest, and told the doc about drinking everyday. Wasn't honest ab...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Hi, my name is Jennifer and my boyfriend is 252 days sober today. I'm kind of new to the program. I do attend meetings, on occasion, and I do have a sponsor that I don't really talk to because I like to isolate myself. And yes, I know that's not good. I know, I know. I haven't been taking care of me like I should...

Diva · Diva

I have one sister who is five years older than I. THis sister has always, "had it in for me". As long as I can remember. Ours has been a touchy relationship at best and a toxic one at worst. All of our lives I have always landed on my feet, been in the right place at the right time; I say I have a guardi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Newbie to Al-Anon, should I leave him? PLEASE HELP! (Preview) If he gets drunk while he is suppose to care for our 3-month-old daughter, should I leave him? He has never been physically abusive, but is emotionally abusive to me when he is drunk. He suffers from depression. His father is also an Alcoholic, and encourages him to drink. He admits he has a problem and...	NewMom07	10	663	Mar 13, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	If nothing changes, nothing changes... (Preview) A few months ago I had my granddaughter overnight, and had to take her to her mother's the next day (my alcoholic/addict 30 year old daughter). The daughter had been out of jail for some time, and was living with a new 'bf', someone she had met through the small church she's been attending since she's bee...	Tenderheartsks	9	671	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	shrivelled, ghoulish and toothless (Preview) I am a support worker and go into homes of those who are frail because of illness or age. Most of my clients are dying of preventable diseases and the ones who confront me the most of course are those dying of alcoholism. Some have wives who are nursing them and others are alone with their television sets...	silverbrumby	5	329	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	Speaker (Preview) Last night I was a speaker at an al-anon meeting. Its kind of my home group. I was really scared. I mean, I have done a ton of public speaking but this was really different. It was super hard but I did it and I shared some things that were very personal and very painful. It really brought some stuff back up for...	Jean4444	6	443	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	Tuesday's Gratitude (Preview) Having just finished an email to my sponsor because I felt it was too late to call, I thought I'd share some good things that happened yesterday/today. **side note first: you all are COMPLETELY AWESOME!!!****** I've been thinking the past couple of days how funny typing "my A" or "th...	JenniferN	5	431	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	oops, I think I messed up! (Preview) okay silly question / post about boundries, but just in case you guys never hear from me again you'll know why- (kidding I promise) BF ask me/ offered for me to use his truck to go to my work appointments because my car is really dangerous at the moment, something wrong with axel. In his truck at last minu...	glad	6	579	Mar 13, 2008 by carolinagirl
	More ok than I thought! (Preview) Been working on,ok what would make me feel better inside. So doing stuff here to make my home not such a muck up Today I drove from stupid Mapquests directions to pick up a ewe an ewe? wierd, anyway,got sorta lost.drove up, I mean UP this winding steep road wayyyyyyy up to the sky, truck ran out of gas.wond...	debilyn	7	479	Mar 13, 2008 by Tuggboat
	displaced anger (Preview) I have had some discussions recently with my counselor about anger. It seems that is the emotion I am most frequently experiencing lately...the one which undoes me in my quest for recovery and peace. He has gently pointed out to me that I have lots of reasons to be angry at the world the past months. My...	omajoy	8	1900	Mar 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	Courage to change... (Preview) I have been thinking a lot lately about what this really means in general, and specifically to me in my life. I think a lot of times courage is about getting past crippling fears and doing what is right. Then other times courage is doing the right thing even though it's not what I want to do or it's not com...	carolinagirl	8	401	Mar 13, 2008 by debilyn
	Need ESH (Preview) I've had 3 1/2 months with little to no contact from my A. During this time, I've discovered (and rediscovered) some things about myself. Thanks to this board and the program, I have opened up my eyes to lots of truths. I'm still digesting some of them and learning so many important things. So I go out...	round3	9	347	Mar 13, 2008 by debilyn
	Better! (Preview) Things are getting better slowly but surely. I am starting to let go of some of my character defects that are coming back to me lately. I mean past experiences are reminding me how truly "imperfect" I am. I am letting go of the need to control others, how I tend to be in the "all about m...	Hoot Nanny	2	357	Mar 13, 2008 by debilyn
	CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC (Preview) ((((Family)))) Having a discussion with the AH today, and he comes up with "Didn't you say your meeting also has AA on Wednesday Night?" So I say yes it does. Then he says I think I'll go with you tomorrow night. Hmmm. Mind you now, this man has attended only 2 AA meetings so far, so I'm not reall...	cookie1971	6	438	Mar 12, 2008 by cookie1971
	Forgotten how to do this... (Preview) ... and I don't want to be here. I am tired of being "sick" too! I'm not an alcoholic. I don't stay out all night. If anything, I am overly responsible! Tell me again... why am I "sick" too. I am sick... sick and tired. Fed up. Angry as hell! My first post here... and just needin...	Joy	4	650	Mar 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	Relief with release (Preview) I'm just feeling so much better now that I released my perceived "control" over my AH's drinking. That was, of course, threatening him that I'd leave if he drank again. Now... this doesn't mean that I'm not still figuring out my boundaries. I DO have to draw the line at some point. But I'm n...	Aloha	1	392	Mar 12, 2008 by glad
	My HP sure does work fast (Preview) I'm just blown away at how quickly my HP responds and sends me answers and relief. At times, my life is like those V8 commercials. Have you seen them? Some person will be filling their plate with bread and meat and then someone will come along and bonk them on the forehead for not including any vegetabl...	Aloha	4	504	Mar 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	My weekend... (Preview) I just wanted to share that my daughter (13) came into my room Sunday night at 4am - guess it was more like monday morning - and said she coundn't breathe. Then she got her inhaler and took a puff or two. She said her throat hurt so I took her in the bathroom and turned on the light and tried to get her to stick...	carolinagirl	6	394	Mar 12, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Self care self care self care (Preview) I think I always seem to be reporting some disaster or another but I am actually working super hard to get to better self care. I managed in the short period of time I was unemployed (I am grateful for that even though I really could have done with a longer break) and get some medication I really needed. I ha...	maresie	8	842	Mar 12, 2008 by maresie
	Parent's Job Description (Preview) PARENT Job Description *This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad , Dad dy, Dad a, Pa, Pop* JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work i n an often chaotic environment...**	Maria123	4	313	Mar 12, 2008 by JenniferN
	It's our MIP Baby's Birthday (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Ash aka Lauren aka Ashbaby)))))))))))))))))))))) Happy Birthday Girl. I hope your day was wonderful. Love ya, Maria	Maria123	8	567	Mar 12, 2008 by leo
	Getting it together! (Preview) All I can say really is that today is better than yesterday! I just keep plugging away and it seems like I am doing a little better day by day. I just need to let go of some things and clear the clutter from my mind and my own personal space. I guess it is almost time for some Spring cleaning. The snow is melti...	Hoot Nanny	3	340	Mar 12, 2008 by Maria123
	Rejoicing- and thinking of a Sponsor? (Preview) Okay besides the fact that I have got to get over my excitement about finding this relief to my pain of last few years and get some balance in my life, I mean I've go to get my work done sometime (more specifics on what I'm so happy about in my post response to "hp sure does work fast") but I'm tryi...	glad	4	629	Mar 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	give a dog a bone.... (Preview) Last week I was thinking about how my 2 older kids needed dressers in their rooms. My daughter has 2 small ones which cannot hold all the clothes she has strewn about her room (lots of hand-me-downs from a cousin) and my son has been supposed to use the shelves in his closet, but doesn't. I kick myself for g...	Loupiness	7	464	Mar 12, 2008 by Jen
	To Leave or not to Leave, that is NOT the question! (Preview) I just think that one of our members brought up an excellent topic recently and that is the issue of staying or leaving our A's. I wanted to bring it up in its own string because we seem to really get hung up on this staying/leaving "ZONE" and thinking that we can somehow control our A's by makin...	Jean4444	13	702	Mar 11, 2008 by nmike
	Random Thought for the Night (Preview) Living with the family disease of alcoholism is like going down a mountain... pretty easy to keep slipping further down. Recovering from this same disease is like going back up the mountain. It can be done... but it takes endurance and time and having the proper knowledge to know when to take a breat...	kismetstrand	2	344	Mar 11, 2008 by tea2
	Please read - Would like input (Preview) Happy Sunday (((Family))) Just wanted to bring up a couple of "business items" for everyone to consider. 1. At last month's business meeting we discussed the "Frequently Asked Questions" post at the top of the board. When they were placed up there, we decided to revisit the...	david62	4	708	Mar 11, 2008 by tea2
	cat not well. (Preview) My tiny Siamese Ruby is not well. She is not eating much. She is drinking though and not dehydrated and her level of activity is high. I am going to change her food and get her basic protein some other way. Please send up your prayers for her. I have really been struggling with the animals. The beagle dog...	maresie	10	311	Mar 11, 2008 by Lady
	Your favourite slogan let go slogans (Preview) Hello all, Just today it occurred to me how much help the al-anon slogans are to me every day but the one that stands head and shoulders above the rest (for me) is: "Let go" I use it in so many ways, when I worry, when I'm scared, when I obsess, when I interfere - just to name a few. So my question to y...	travors	12	4532	Mar 11, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Thanks everyone for you responses!! (Preview) Thanks, everyone for all your responses, I finally had the nerve to have a talk with Dad, and I think it went well. I'm learning very slowly to not hold things in anymore because it just eats you up inside. He is an addict, but he isn't abusive or he doen't blame me for his drinking. We have had long talks abo...	sisdragonfly1957	1	353	Mar 11, 2008 by hudsond
	What are double binds? (Preview) I keep learning new words and people's experiences and going ohhh, so that's why we fight like that or that's why we struggle with that. A post called what someone did or said a double bind but I don't exactly get it. Would someone please explain or give me another example? Thanks really will help- I have...	glad	5	413	Mar 11, 2008 by glad
	OK..give me some ESH on this (Preview) You have all read my vents on this situation I am in. My son's intermittent alcohol abuse led to a quick nasty divorce, secretly arranged by his EX, no legal counsel for him, he just said OK to it all and trusted her verbal promises. Two years of hell have ensued, with me in the middle. I was not asked nor di...	omajoy	9	574	Mar 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Are there any "success" stories? (Preview) I was just reading one of the many wise responses to my last post and just wanted to pose the question...has anyone actually found their happy ending? Someone asked the great question..." If the A were sober and living the good life would he choose you to spend his life with?" While I don't...	Codependent	17	3528	Mar 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Don't end up like me (Preview) I have vented on here quite a few times. Nothing has changed. nothing. What has changed is I give up. No worries please, I don't expect anyone to do anything or suggest anything. Believe me I have problem solved to death. Hav e worked hard on this. I used to: have a home, a loving mate, my kids, mother, fam...	debilyn	23	1025	Mar 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Sunday morning thoughts... (Preview) I do not like birthdays or anything associated with them. Has nothing to do with aging, but it is an emotional thing for me because of my childhood issues. Anyhow, my daughter just turned 11 and the celebrating has come to an end (finally!) with a slumber party. Thank goodness! I was soooo resistant...	Loupiness	7	363	Mar 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Choice (Preview) I promise I am not trying to play devil's advocate. You all have just given me a lot to think about and as I do more questions arise. I hope you all will see I am just trying to process it all and have patience with me. :) So many of your posts refer to choice..in terms of would he choose you? Or does he ever c...	Codependent	6	321	Mar 10, 2008 by lin0606
	Struggling to find my place (Preview) At a loss for what to do, I started writing, and ended up with a letter to a woman who is neither friend nor family, but has put me in the middle of this nonetheless. "How could you put so much into lying to the world that there's no room left for those who think you are the world? With every lie you bu...	Affected121	4	519	Mar 10, 2008 by Affected121
	Rough Weekend (Preview) First, I must tell you, this will most likely be a long post.... The weekend completely sucked.... It started with Friday, my 32nd birthday...woke him up at 1 p.m. (he works 3rd shift) to see if I could have the truck for the weekend or if he was taking me to my mother's house...He said he needed the truck a...	JenniferN	4	281	Mar 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Still on step three... P.U.S.H. (Preview) You know - it only just now dawned on me how weird my life has been and how in some bizarre way, each numerical month of the year I'm in happens to be the same number of the step I'm working. Month one, January - is when my life just flipped upside down, inside out and took a screaming cannon-ball leap into a...	Aloha	3	409	Mar 10, 2008 by maresie
	Light at end of tunnel (Preview) I've recently set a few boundries and kinda feel like superwoman this morning. I will no longer have "self doubt" everytime I am not agreed with or I don't get my hearts desire. I can't expain it but I think I'm beginning to "get it" in terms of being able to be happy regardless of w...	glad	5	438	Mar 10, 2008 by maresie
	Month Three, Step Three (Preview) *Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.* Great Recovery Group meeting last night that I attended. I loved it because there was so little discussion about our A's and our dealing with our A's. Just more focus on how we connect with our Hig...	Aloha	6	517	Mar 10, 2008 by maresie
	I'm so sick! Bleh! (Preview) Spent part of today going through (and shredding) all of my journals about my relationship with my A-bf and going through (and tossing out) all of the cards that he had ever given to me. I have been grieving the loss of our relationship for so long now that I don't even know exactly when "the loss o...	ESH	3	279	Mar 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	HOW DID U SPEND UR VACATION AWAY FROM UR A OR WAS IT DIFFICULT FOR U? (Preview) Well, my ABF has left...so I am getting a "break"...and it feels so good ...simply amazing, when he got out the car, my headache immediately went away! :) He call about 20 minutes later and said to me...you sound so happy now that I'm gone. I said, really you don't say (smiling). Anyway,...	DANDTALWAYS	7	435	Mar 10, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	So many alcoholics; so worried about it (Preview) Not only have an A-bf, but realizing a few of my nieces & nephews may be alcoholics, too. It scares me to think of the life that they are setting up for themselves... scares me to no end. It's one thing to have an A-bf... but quite another when it is a person that you have known since they were an itty-b...	ESH	4	513	Mar 10, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	meeting today about anger and HP (Preview) A friend in my meeting this morning said " I used to believe that I had to control the universe. Comming here I learned I was NOT responsible for the world and that was such a HUGE relief!" I thought, Yeah, me too. But more so I felt that HP was in control, but I still needed to tell HP how to do it rig...	serendipity	2	394	Mar 10, 2008 by glad
	What I get out of it... (Preview) Okay, so I gave some thought to this after all your wonderful posts in response to my current situation. I think I get out of it...1. The ability to believe that I am having a relationship with him that he is now sober and present for which I never did when he was out of jail. 2. The ability to believe that...	Codependent	5	518	Mar 10, 2008 by Lady
	New to the forum (Preview) Hi and thanks for being out there. I have been reading here for about a week, and it helps. I am in a bad time right now, all the more bad as it is familiar. I have been going to meetings for about 3 months now, once or maybe 2 times a week. I am still so isolated. I am today feeling really angry at my ah of 20 y...	DeadOrAlive	4	312	Mar 10, 2008 by Lady
	Back (Preview) Hello everybody! It has been awhile. I am back from maternity and have the cutest little 8 week old boy! I am back enjoying the baby stage even though my sober ah can get on my nerves about how I should do things. After the 1st month I wasn't sure we were going to make it, but I decided to try and let it roll...	hudsond	7	316	Mar 10, 2008 by Christy
	How about a positive quality about ourselves? (Preview) I have been awful down lately, on myself and others. So, I was trying to remember the good things about myself. Maybe I don't apperciate these things or maybe I don't feel grateful for them, but they are still there. So, here goes! I am honest (even more so since leaving the A) with myself and with others...	serendipity	13	663	Mar 9, 2008 by gardengal
	It's been a while. . . (Preview) Hi family! I haven't been here for a long time (a month+) and I have missed you all. The basic gist of my life now is that my AH went to detox for a little over a week and when he got out, was living with his dad & sister. He took 10 ambiens one night and flipped out so they kicked him out and his brother too...	Lost but still trying	3	321	Mar 9, 2008 by Karilynn
	Sorry, I just gave birth to a book..lol (Preview) (((((Alanuts))))) I felt a bit misunderstood but moreso kind of frustrated in a recent post. As I mulled it over I thought my frustration might be because I couldn't find the words I needed. I think what the book, "Happier Than God" has to say in terms of our choosing our personal truths has...	Christy	15	734	Mar 9, 2008 by wp
	Confused (Preview) I am confused but hanging in there! Anxiety got me yesterday and I feel like I need a break. I hope that I can start to feel better soon. I just need to say that I am confused and kinda depressed since I had a crazy weekend and am not in my right frame of mind still. I wish I could say more but because of anonymi...	Hoot Nanny	5	413	Mar 8, 2008 by Jean4444
	Grateful for the A? (Preview) I'm on my 4th marriage dealing with the effects of alcoholism. I have been spending a lot of time being resentful with my current husband and thought maybe I should talk on gratitude. When I came into this program after my second marriage I would never have understood me. What makes me tick, why I'm attr...	java	7	465	Mar 8, 2008 by round3
	A Test from my HP??? (Preview) um ok...so while I was making a reply post just a few minutes ago the woman called...the fellow AA member from the far away group....wanting to speak to him, when I told her he wasn't here she apologized for bothering me but was just wondering if he was coming out there tonight to the meeting....I told he...	JenniferN	4	526	Mar 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	I cannot be your self esteem. (Preview) It is hard to tell my AH this. He is doing pretty well, has 6 months sober. But he often gets into this frame of mind that he seems to want reactions from me that validate his feelings about himself. So we had a discussion yesterday, before he left, about how I feel when he acts like this. He hovers around me,...	Jen	7	662	Mar 8, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Update on school meeting (Preview) So I went and the social worker came and I felt so much better having her there. My daughter had ISS (in school suspension) yesterday for being "disrespectful" and apparently she had made bunny ears behind the teacher and been chewing gum earlier in the day. Seemed frivilous to me but the...	carolinagirl	7	332	Mar 8, 2008 by Loupiness
	Just don'y know what to do!!! (Preview) Haven't posted in a long time. I feel I got sucked back in Big time. E/ A/Bf called me just after the first of January, asking for my help. It was the worst I have ever seen him. Pain pills, muscle relaxers, slleeping pills and beer, hard liquor. And trying to raise his 8 year old son. This is a man who lived wi...	sisdragonfly1957	5	578	Mar 7, 2008 by debilyn
	Hello...I need help... (Preview) First I would like to say hello to you all. I hope that I'm in the right place (I've been told that this is where I need to be). Let me give you some background real quick. My fiance and I are both addicts. I am currently in recovery while he is still in active addiction. We are pretty much at the end. We h...	boobahsmommy	11	437	Mar 7, 2008 by maresie
	Bittersweet (Preview) Hi Friends, This is going to be a whiney post, but I just need to get it out. My ah is trying to redeem himself as a father, which I know I should appreciate, but it bugs me! Yesterday while I was at work, and he wasn't, he left a voicemail asking if I wanted him to pick up anything for my daughter's bday party t...	Loupiness	8	365	Mar 7, 2008 by Karilynn
	AH goes to the doctor (Preview) I had the day off (wow!) and AH asked if I wanted to go to his doctor's appt with him. I said I didn't want to go if he wasn't going to tell the doc what was really going on. He said he needed help and wanted to talk to the doctor so I said OK. He was honest, and told the doc about drinking everyday. Wasn't honest ab...	RainyJamie	5	352	Mar 7, 2008 by RainyJamie
	Just saying HI (Preview) Hi, my name is Jennifer and my boyfriend is 252 days sober today. I'm kind of new to the program. I do attend meetings, on occasion, and I do have a sponsor that I don't really talk to because I like to isolate myself. And yes, I know that's not good. I know, I know. I haven't been taking care of me like I should...	JenniferN	7	473	Mar 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	I am begging for your input... (Preview) I have one sister who is five years older than I. THis sister has always, "had it in for me". As long as I can remember. Ours has been a touchy relationship at best and a toxic one at worst. All of our lives I have always landed on my feet, been in the right place at the right time; I say I have a guardi...	Diva	21	939	Mar 6, 2008 by wp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.