Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

glad · glad

"To forgive the unrepentant is like drawing pictures in a pond" (thanks Jennifer) He is sick, the reason I put up with it, danced a dance to try to fix it, turned myself inside out worrying about it, embarrassed myself over and over begging for it to be different was/ is because I "caug...

serendipity · serendipity

I am posting this mainly to document it. The 2 younger ones and I were at dinner. On the placemat were questions to start discussions. What would you do if you were president, if you had 3 wishes, if you could have a wild animal, etc. The last one was if you could go back in time where would you go and why. My l...

Codependent · Codependent

I feel like I should apologize at the beginning of my posts now because so much of it feels like I am "dumping" on you all. Yet, I need to be able to tell you all the truth of what is going on in my life. So with that in mind, The A did get 50 days in lock down. Some guy in jail called to tell me this with...

nmike · nmike

Listening to the Osmonds Reunion concert. Marie and Donny are singing "It takes two". I miss my AHsober. We went skiing together - his idea. He said it will be fun. It was. Just like old times. Then we went south to golf and warm up after this wicked winter. My idea. I said it will be fun. It was. N...

david62 · david62

(((Family))) I came on here to post about the topic of forgiveness and lo and behold I see Glad's post "to forgive the unrepentent" . Forgiveness was the topic of my ftf meeting last nite. We read pages 86 and 87 in "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". An...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I was pretty upset this morning when I came on here. I didn't want to post about what had happened, and I'm still not going to, because it's quite personal. So, I started reading. And I started with glad's post. That got me to thinking in a different direction and I posted my reply and with doing that, with...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I filed for divorce a month ago after months of agonizing and therapy, and years of making excuses. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I hate the fact that it has been difficult on my daughter. Yes, I have to carefully watch every penny. Yes, I have to lean on others. My XH is not happy with...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! This is a must share for me so that I can relieve the awareness pressure from my spirit that the disease has brought. My wife and I attended a wake and viewing this morning for a young (40) man who died as a result of cancer. They were friends from my wife's work place who had moved to Nev 7 yea...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I actually went to a meeting without my mom on Tuesday! I feel so great about it because I rarely go to meetings without her because of the fact that there are very few meetings in our town and she feels she needs to go to all of them so where does that leave me? Anyway, I went to a huge Alanon meeting 60 miles a...

Maria123 · Maria123

I just had to share this with y'all. This Mom just had to be an Alanoner laughter in recovery, Maria HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNERYou don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one..Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beauti...

glad · glad

My wanting to "help" my "A" ( by nagging, begging, "explaining" (loudly) healthy thinking) has been totally selfish. My way to try to excape my own "double bind" I put myself in, which is: I don't want to be in an unhealthy relationship, but I do want to be w...

qhgirl · qhgirl

I am new to alanon although not new to alcoholism. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. Last weekend he was given a DUI and spent the night in jail. MUCH to his credit he has not drank since. He is really trying to stop drinking. He has been to two AA meetings and has an appointment with his therapist on Thursday. I...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Had a pretty rough start this morning...I asked him last night to make sure I was up this morning when he got home from work (7a.m.)...he did(n't)... he said ONE thing to me this morning to wake me up...and that doesn't work...I was pretty upset when I finally woke up 40 minutes later. I told him that I was...

Aloha · Aloha

I had a testing moment this evening when I got home from work. My AH was out on the driveway washing his bike and his moped. I went inside for a bit, and then came across something that needed to be put in the garage, so I went to the garage to put that something away and noticed one of our good bath towels han...

omajoy · omajoy

This morning I wrote about being angry and had every intention of having a successful day of even temperament. It is twelve hours later. My heart is breaking in half and I don't know if I am angry or just what I am feeling. Grandbaby and son here this afternoon. Marigolds planted. Lots of love and hugs an...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Just wanted to say thanks to ya'll for the ESH and to let ya'll know that I did apologize to him when I got home. I thought about it more after my post and realized it wasn't really that important to be/stay upset over. So, I amitted I was wrong, apologized, and moved on! (oh and I'll be using the alarm on my ce...

grizmom · grizmom

I am married to an alcoholic who is presently in an intensive rehab provided by the Department of Corrections - a special program for DUI felonly offenders. He is due to be released soon, coming home to family and job, under the watch of probation. He recently asked what he could do to make our marriage...

glad · glad

Well I have discovered over the last few days I may want to do some things just because I want to. I just realized that in the (recent) past I have had some really weird thoughts in my head. Examples: I'll clean the house really good today, maybe light some candles (my boyfriend will like it when he c...

NewMom07 · NewMom07

If he gets drunk while he is suppose to care for our 3-month-old daughter, should I leave him? He has never been physically abusive, but is emotionally abusive to me when he is drunk. He suffers from depression. His father is also an Alcoholic, and encourages him to drink. He admits he has a problem and...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

A few months ago I had my granddaughter overnight, and had to take her to her mother's the next day (my alcoholic/addict 30 year old daughter). The daughter had been out of jail for some time, and was living with a new 'bf', someone she had met through the small church she's been attending since she's bee...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

I am a support worker and go into homes of those who are frail because of illness or age. Most of my clients are dying of preventable diseases and the ones who confront me the most of course are those dying of alcoholism. Some have wives who are nursing them and others are alone with their television sets...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Last night I was a speaker at an al-anon meeting. Its kind of my home group. I was really scared. I mean, I have done a ton of public speaking but this was really different. It was super hard but I did it and I shared some things that were very personal and very painful. It really brought some stuff back up for...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Having just finished an email to my sponsor because I felt it was too late to call, I thought I'd share some good things that happened yesterday/today. ****side note first: you all are COMPLETELY AWESOME!!!**** I've been thinking the past couple of days how funny typing "my A" or "th...

glad · glad

okay silly question / post about boundries, but just in case you guys never hear from me again you'll know why- (kidding I promise) BF ask me/ offered for me to use his truck to go to my work appointments because my car is really dangerous at the moment, something wrong with axel. In his truck at last minu...

debilyn · debilyn

Been working on,ok what would make me feel better inside. So doing stuff here to make my home not such a muck up Today I drove from stupid Mapquests directions to pick up a ewe an ewe? wierd, anyway,got sorta lost.drove up, I mean UP this winding steep road wayyyyyyy up to the sky, truck ran out of gas.wond...

omajoy · omajoy

I have had some discussions recently with my counselor about anger. It seems that is the emotion I am most frequently experiencing lately...the one which undoes me in my quest for recovery and peace. He has gently pointed out to me that I have lots of reasons to be angry at the world the past months. My...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking a lot lately about what this really means in general, and specifically to me in my life. I think a lot of times courage is about getting past crippling fears and doing what is right. Then other times courage is doing the right thing even though it's not what I want to do or it's not com...

round3 · round3

I've had 3 1/2 months with little to no contact from my A. During this time, I've discovered (and rediscovered) some things about myself. Thanks to this board and the program, I have opened up my eyes to lots of truths. I'm still digesting some of them and learning so many important things. So I go out...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Things are getting better slowly but surely. I am starting to let go of some of my character defects that are coming back to me lately. I mean past experiences are reminding me how truly "imperfect" I am. I am letting go of the need to control others, how I tend to be in the "all about m...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family)))) Having a discussion with the AH today, and he comes up with "Didn't you say your meeting also has AA on Wednesday Night?" So I say yes it does. Then he says I think I'll go with you tomorrow night. Hmmm. Mind you now, this man has attended only 2 AA meetings so far, so I'm not reall...

Joy · Joy

... and I don't want to be here. I am tired of being "sick" too! I'm not an alcoholic. I don't stay out all night. If anything, I am overly responsible! Tell me again... why am I "sick" too. I am sick... sick and tired. Fed up. Angry as hell! My first post here... and just needin...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm just feeling so much better now that I released my perceived "control" over my AH's drinking. That was, of course, threatening him that I'd leave if he drank again. Now... this doesn't mean that I'm not still figuring out my boundaries. I DO have to draw the line at some point. But I'm n...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm just blown away at how quickly my HP responds and sends me answers and relief. At times, my life is like those V8 commercials. Have you seen them? Some person will be filling their plate with bread and meat and then someone will come along and bonk them on the forehead for not including any vegetabl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just wanted to share that my daughter (13) came into my room Sunday night at 4am - guess it was more like monday morning - and said she coundn't breathe. Then she got her inhaler and took a puff or two. She said her throat hurt so I took her in the bathroom and turned on the light and tried to get her to stick...

maresie · maresie

I think I always seem to be reporting some disaster or another but I am actually working super hard to get to better self care. I managed in the short period of time I was unemployed (I am grateful for that even though I really could have done with a longer break) and get some medication I really needed. I ha...

Maria123 · Maria123

PARENT Job Description This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad , Dad dy, Dad a, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work i n an often chaotic environment...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((((((((((((((Ash aka Lauren aka Ashbaby)))))))))))))))))))))) Happy Birthday Girl. I hope your day was wonderful. Love ya, Maria

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

All I can say really is that today is better than yesterday! I just keep plugging away and it seems like I am doing a little better day by day. I just need to let go of some things and clear the clutter from my mind and my own personal space. I guess it is almost time for some Spring cleaning. The snow is melti...

glad · glad

Okay besides the fact that I have got to get over my excitement about finding this relief to my pain of last few years and get some balance in my life, I mean I've go to get my work done sometime (more specifics on what I'm so happy about in my post response to "hp sure does work fast") but I'm tryi...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Last week I was thinking about how my 2 older kids needed dressers in their rooms. My daughter has 2 small ones which cannot hold all the clothes she has strewn about her room (lots of hand-me-downs from a cousin) and my son has been supposed to use the shelves in his closet, but doesn't. I kick myself for g...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just think that one of our members brought up an excellent topic recently and that is the issue of staying or leaving our A's. I wanted to bring it up in its own string because we seem to really get hung up on this staying/leaving "ZONE" and thinking that we can somehow control our A's by makin...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Living with the family disease of alcoholism is like going down a mountain... pretty easy to keep slipping further down. Recovering from this same disease is like going back up the mountain. It can be done... but it takes endurance and time and having the proper knowledge to know when to take a breat...

david62 · david62

Happy Sunday (((Family))) Just wanted to bring up a couple of "business items" for everyone to consider. 1. At last month's business meeting we discussed the "Frequently Asked Questions" post at the top of the board. When they were placed up there, we decided to revisit the...

maresie · maresie

My tiny Siamese Ruby is not well. She is not eating much. She is drinking though and not dehydrated and her level of activity is high. I am going to change her food and get her basic protein some other way. Please send up your prayers for her. I have really been struggling with the animals. The beagle dog...

travors · travors

Hello all, Just today it occurred to me how much help the al-anon slogans are to me every day but the one that stands head and shoulders above the rest (for me) is: "Let go" I use it in so many ways, when I worry, when I'm scared, when I obsess, when I interfere - just to name a few. So my question to y...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Thanks, everyone for all your responses, I finally had the nerve to have a talk with Dad, and I think it went well. I'm learning very slowly to not hold things in anymore because it just eats you up inside. He is an addict, but he isn't abusive or he doen't blame me for his drinking. We have had long talks abo...

glad · glad

I keep learning new words and people's experiences and going ohhh, so that's why we fight like that or that's why we struggle with that. A post called what someone did or said a double bind but I don't exactly get it. Would someone please explain or give me another example? Thanks really will help- I have...

omajoy · omajoy

You have all read my vents on this situation I am in. My son's intermittent alcohol abuse led to a quick nasty divorce, secretly arranged by his EX, no legal counsel for him, he just said OK to it all and trusted her verbal promises. Two years of hell have ensued, with me in the middle. I was not asked nor di...

Codependent · Codependent

I was just reading one of the many wise responses to my last post and just wanted to pose the question...has anyone actually found their happy ending? Someone asked the great question..." If the A were sober and living the good life would he choose you to spend his life with?" While I don't...

debilyn · debilyn

I have vented on here quite a few times. Nothing has changed. nothing. What has changed is I give up. No worries please, I don't expect anyone to do anything or suggest anything. Believe me I have problem solved to death. Hav e worked hard on this. I used to: have a home, a loving mate, my kids, mother, fam...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I do not like birthdays or anything associated with them. Has nothing to do with aging, but it is an emotional thing for me because of my childhood issues. Anyhow, my daughter just turned 11 and the celebrating has come to an end (finally!) with a slumber party. Thank goodness! I was soooo resistant...

Codependent · Codependent

I promise I am not trying to play devil's advocate. You all have just given me a lot to think about and as I do more questions arise. I hope you all will see I am just trying to process it all and have patience with me. :) So many of your posts refer to choice..in terms of would he choose you? Or does he ever c...

Affected121 · Affected121

At a loss for what to do, I started writing, and ended up with a letter to a woman who is neither friend nor family, but has put me in the middle of this nonetheless. "How could you put so much into lying to the world that there's no room left for those who think you are the world? With every lie you bu...

JenniferN · JenniferN

First, I must tell you, this will most likely be a long post.... The weekend completely sucked.... It started with Friday, my 32nd birthday...woke him up at 1 p.m. (he works 3rd shift) to see if I could have the truck for the weekend or if he was taking me to my mother's house...He said he needed the truck a...

Aloha · Aloha

You know - it only just now dawned on me how weird my life has been and how in some bizarre way, each numerical month of the year I'm in happens to be the same number of the step I'm working. Month one, January - is when my life just flipped upside down, inside out and took a screaming cannon-ball leap into a...

glad · glad

I've recently set a few boundries and kinda feel like superwoman this morning. I will no longer have "self doubt" everytime I am not agreed with or I don't get my hearts desire. I can't expain it but I think I'm beginning to "get it" in terms of being able to be happy regardless of w...

Aloha · Aloha

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Great Recovery Group meeting last night that I attended. I loved it because there was so little discussion about our A's and our dealing with our A's. Just more focus on how we connect with our Hig...

ESH · ESH

Spent part of today going through (and shredding) all of my journals about my relationship with my A-bf and going through (and tossing out) all of the cards that he had ever given to me. I have been grieving the loss of our relationship for so long now that I don't even know exactly when "the loss o...

DANDTALWAYS · DANDTALWAYS

Well, my ABF has left...so I am getting a "break"...and it feels so good ...simply amazing, when he got out the car, my headache immediately went away! :) He call about 20 minutes later and said to me...you sound so happy now that I'm gone. I said, really you don't say (smiling). Anyway,...

ESH · ESH

Not only have an A-bf, but realizing a few of my nieces & nephews may be alcoholics, too. It scares me to think of the life that they are setting up for themselves... scares me to no end. It's one thing to have an A-bf... but quite another when it is a person that you have known since they were an itty-b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	To forgive the unrepentant... (Preview) "To forgive the unrepentant is like drawing pictures in a pond" (thanks Jennifer) He is sick, the reason I put up with it, danced a dance to try to fix it, turned myself inside out worrying about it, embarrassed myself over and over begging for it to be different was/ is because I "caug...	glad	5	1802	Mar 14, 2008 by Tuggboat
	on death and heaven and God (Preview) I am posting this mainly to document it. The 2 younger ones and I were at dinner. On the placemat were questions to start discussions. What would you do if you were president, if you had 3 wishes, if you could have a wild animal, etc. The last one was if you could go back in time where would you go and why. My l...	serendipity	1	589	Mar 14, 2008 by lin0606
	More of my stuff (Preview) I feel like I should apologize at the beginning of my posts now because so much of it feels like I am "dumping" on you all. Yet, I need to be able to tell you all the truth of what is going on in my life. So with that in mind, The A did get 50 days in lock down. Some guy in jail called to tell me this with...	Codependent	4	404	Mar 14, 2008 by lin0606
	It takes two.... (Preview) Listening to the Osmonds Reunion concert. Marie and Donny are singing "It takes two". I miss my AHsober. We went skiing together - his idea. He said it will be fun. It was. Just like old times. Then we went south to golf and warm up after this wicked winter. My idea. I said it will be fun. It was. N...	nmike	4	397	Mar 14, 2008 by Maria123
	There is No Justifiable Judgement (Preview) (((Family))) I came on here to post about the topic of forgiveness and lo and behold I see Glad's post "to forgive the unrepentent" . Forgiveness was the topic of my ftf meeting last nite. We read pages 86 and 87 in "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". An...	david62	3	839	Mar 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	Thanks glad.... (Preview) I was pretty upset this morning when I came on here. I didn't want to post about what had happened, and I'm still not going to, because it's quite personal. So, I started reading. And I started with glad's post. That got me to thinking in a different direction and I posted my reply and with doing that, with...	JenniferN	1	424	Mar 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	Yes, the grass is greener. (Preview) I filed for divorce a month ago after months of agonizing and therapy, and years of making excuses. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I hate the fact that it has been difficult on my daughter. Yes, I have to carefully watch every penny. Yes, I have to lean on others. My XH is not happy with...	optimistundone	5	603	Mar 14, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Cunning - Powerful - Baffling (Preview) Aloha Family!! This is a must share for me so that I can relieve the awareness pressure from my spirit that the disease has brought. My wife and I attended a wake and viewing this morning for a young (40) man who died as a result of cancer. They were friends from my wife's work place who had moved to Nev 7 yea...	Jerry F	14	546	Mar 14, 2008 by Karilynn
	Without MOM! (Preview) I actually went to a meeting without my mom on Tuesday! I feel so great about it because I rarely go to meetings without her because of the fact that there are very few meetings in our town and she feels she needs to go to all of them so where does that leave me? Anyway, I went to a huge Alanon meeting 60 miles a...	Hoot Nanny	3	465	Mar 14, 2008 by glad
	Give us this day . . . our daily Laughter (Preview) I just had to share this with y'all. This Mom just had to be an Alanoner laughter in recovery, Maria HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNERYou don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one..Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beauti...	Maria123	9	698	Mar 14, 2008 by Karilynn
	I created my own double bind! (Preview) My wanting to "help" my "A" ( by nagging, begging, "explaining" (loudly) healthy thinking) has been totally selfish. My way to try to excape my own "double bind" I put myself in, which is: I don't want to be in an unhealthy relationship, but I do want to be w...	glad	3	551	Mar 14, 2008 by debilyn
	new to alanon just wondering if anyone has info for me (Preview) I am new to alanon although not new to alcoholism. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. Last weekend he was given a DUI and spent the night in jail. MUCH to his credit he has not drank since. He is really trying to stop drinking. He has been to two AA meetings and has an appointment with his therapist on Thursday. I...	qhgirl	14	621	Mar 14, 2008 by Karilynn
	Rough Start to a Beautiful Day...so far (Preview) Had a pretty rough start this morning...I asked him last night to make sure I was up this morning when he got home from work (7a.m.)...he did(n't)... he said ONE thing to me this morning to wake me up...and that doesn't work...I was pretty upset when I finally woke up 40 minutes later. I told him that I was...	JenniferN	7	636	Mar 14, 2008 by glad
	There is no rule I must return anger with anger (Preview) I had a testing moment this evening when I got home from work. My AH was out on the driveway washing his bike and his moped. I went inside for a bit, and then came across something that needed to be put in the garage, so I went to the garage to put that something away and noticed one of our good bath towels han...	Aloha	9	532	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	Twelve hours later...failed! (Preview) This morning I wrote about being angry and had every intention of having a successful day of even temperament. It is twelve hours later. My heart is breaking in half and I don't know if I am angry or just what I am feeling. Grandbaby and son here this afternoon. Marigolds planted. Lots of love and hugs an...	omajoy	10	470	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	quick update (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks to ya'll for the ESH and to let ya'll know that I did apologize to him when I got home. I thought about it more after my post and realized it wasn't really that important to be/stay upset over. So, I amitted I was wrong, apologized, and moved on! (oh and I'll be using the alarm on my ce...	JenniferN	0	265	Mar 13, 2008 by JenniferN
	This is where I am at.. (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic who is presently in an intensive rehab provided by the Department of Corrections - a special program for DUI felonly offenders. He is due to be released soon, coming home to family and job, under the watch of probation. He recently asked what he could do to make our marriage...	grizmom	15	690	Mar 13, 2008 by round3
	Anybody else ever do this? (Preview) Well I have discovered over the last few days I may want to do some things just because I want to. I just realized that in the (recent) past I have had some really weird thoughts in my head. Examples: I'll clean the house really good today, maybe light some candles (my boyfriend will like it when he c...	glad	3	561	Mar 13, 2008 by lin0606
	Newbie to Al-Anon, should I leave him? PLEASE HELP! (Preview) If he gets drunk while he is suppose to care for our 3-month-old daughter, should I leave him? He has never been physically abusive, but is emotionally abusive to me when he is drunk. He suffers from depression. His father is also an Alcoholic, and encourages him to drink. He admits he has a problem and...	NewMom07	10	694	Mar 13, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	If nothing changes, nothing changes... (Preview) A few months ago I had my granddaughter overnight, and had to take her to her mother's the next day (my alcoholic/addict 30 year old daughter). The daughter had been out of jail for some time, and was living with a new 'bf', someone she had met through the small church she's been attending since she's bee...	Tenderheartsks	9	709	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	shrivelled, ghoulish and toothless (Preview) I am a support worker and go into homes of those who are frail because of illness or age. Most of my clients are dying of preventable diseases and the ones who confront me the most of course are those dying of alcoholism. Some have wives who are nursing them and others are alone with their television sets...	silverbrumby	5	368	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	Speaker (Preview) Last night I was a speaker at an al-anon meeting. Its kind of my home group. I was really scared. I mean, I have done a ton of public speaking but this was really different. It was super hard but I did it and I shared some things that were very personal and very painful. It really brought some stuff back up for...	Jean4444	6	479	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	Tuesday's Gratitude (Preview) Having just finished an email to my sponsor because I felt it was too late to call, I thought I'd share some good things that happened yesterday/today. **side note first: you all are COMPLETELY AWESOME!!!****** I've been thinking the past couple of days how funny typing "my A" or "th...	JenniferN	5	475	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	oops, I think I messed up! (Preview) okay silly question / post about boundries, but just in case you guys never hear from me again you'll know why- (kidding I promise) BF ask me/ offered for me to use his truck to go to my work appointments because my car is really dangerous at the moment, something wrong with axel. In his truck at last minu...	glad	6	618	Mar 13, 2008 by carolinagirl
	More ok than I thought! (Preview) Been working on,ok what would make me feel better inside. So doing stuff here to make my home not such a muck up Today I drove from stupid Mapquests directions to pick up a ewe an ewe? wierd, anyway,got sorta lost.drove up, I mean UP this winding steep road wayyyyyyy up to the sky, truck ran out of gas.wond...	debilyn	7	512	Mar 13, 2008 by Tuggboat
	displaced anger (Preview) I have had some discussions recently with my counselor about anger. It seems that is the emotion I am most frequently experiencing lately...the one which undoes me in my quest for recovery and peace. He has gently pointed out to me that I have lots of reasons to be angry at the world the past months. My...	omajoy	8	1952	Mar 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	Courage to change... (Preview) I have been thinking a lot lately about what this really means in general, and specifically to me in my life. I think a lot of times courage is about getting past crippling fears and doing what is right. Then other times courage is doing the right thing even though it's not what I want to do or it's not com...	carolinagirl	8	437	Mar 13, 2008 by debilyn
	Need ESH (Preview) I've had 3 1/2 months with little to no contact from my A. During this time, I've discovered (and rediscovered) some things about myself. Thanks to this board and the program, I have opened up my eyes to lots of truths. I'm still digesting some of them and learning so many important things. So I go out...	round3	9	389	Mar 13, 2008 by debilyn
	Better! (Preview) Things are getting better slowly but surely. I am starting to let go of some of my character defects that are coming back to me lately. I mean past experiences are reminding me how truly "imperfect" I am. I am letting go of the need to control others, how I tend to be in the "all about m...	Hoot Nanny	2	394	Mar 13, 2008 by debilyn
	CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC (Preview) ((((Family)))) Having a discussion with the AH today, and he comes up with "Didn't you say your meeting also has AA on Wednesday Night?" So I say yes it does. Then he says I think I'll go with you tomorrow night. Hmmm. Mind you now, this man has attended only 2 AA meetings so far, so I'm not reall...	cookie1971	6	473	Mar 12, 2008 by cookie1971
	Forgotten how to do this... (Preview) ... and I don't want to be here. I am tired of being "sick" too! I'm not an alcoholic. I don't stay out all night. If anything, I am overly responsible! Tell me again... why am I "sick" too. I am sick... sick and tired. Fed up. Angry as hell! My first post here... and just needin...	Joy	4	701	Mar 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	Relief with release (Preview) I'm just feeling so much better now that I released my perceived "control" over my AH's drinking. That was, of course, threatening him that I'd leave if he drank again. Now... this doesn't mean that I'm not still figuring out my boundaries. I DO have to draw the line at some point. But I'm n...	Aloha	1	430	Mar 12, 2008 by glad
	My HP sure does work fast (Preview) I'm just blown away at how quickly my HP responds and sends me answers and relief. At times, my life is like those V8 commercials. Have you seen them? Some person will be filling their plate with bread and meat and then someone will come along and bonk them on the forehead for not including any vegetabl...	Aloha	4	547	Mar 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	My weekend... (Preview) I just wanted to share that my daughter (13) came into my room Sunday night at 4am - guess it was more like monday morning - and said she coundn't breathe. Then she got her inhaler and took a puff or two. She said her throat hurt so I took her in the bathroom and turned on the light and tried to get her to stick...	carolinagirl	6	428	Mar 12, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Self care self care self care (Preview) I think I always seem to be reporting some disaster or another but I am actually working super hard to get to better self care. I managed in the short period of time I was unemployed (I am grateful for that even though I really could have done with a longer break) and get some medication I really needed. I ha...	maresie	8	881	Mar 12, 2008 by maresie
	Parent's Job Description (Preview) PARENT Job Description *This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad , Dad dy, Dad a, Pa, Pop* JOB DESCRIPTION : Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work i n an often chaotic environment...**	Maria123	4	353	Mar 12, 2008 by JenniferN
	It's our MIP Baby's Birthday (Preview) (((((((((((((((((Ash aka Lauren aka Ashbaby)))))))))))))))))))))) Happy Birthday Girl. I hope your day was wonderful. Love ya, Maria	Maria123	8	601	Mar 12, 2008 by leo
	Getting it together! (Preview) All I can say really is that today is better than yesterday! I just keep plugging away and it seems like I am doing a little better day by day. I just need to let go of some things and clear the clutter from my mind and my own personal space. I guess it is almost time for some Spring cleaning. The snow is melti...	Hoot Nanny	3	377	Mar 12, 2008 by Maria123
	Rejoicing- and thinking of a Sponsor? (Preview) Okay besides the fact that I have got to get over my excitement about finding this relief to my pain of last few years and get some balance in my life, I mean I've go to get my work done sometime (more specifics on what I'm so happy about in my post response to "hp sure does work fast") but I'm tryi...	glad	4	664	Mar 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	give a dog a bone.... (Preview) Last week I was thinking about how my 2 older kids needed dressers in their rooms. My daughter has 2 small ones which cannot hold all the clothes she has strewn about her room (lots of hand-me-downs from a cousin) and my son has been supposed to use the shelves in his closet, but doesn't. I kick myself for g...	Loupiness	7	506	Mar 12, 2008 by Jen
	To Leave or not to Leave, that is NOT the question! (Preview) I just think that one of our members brought up an excellent topic recently and that is the issue of staying or leaving our A's. I wanted to bring it up in its own string because we seem to really get hung up on this staying/leaving "ZONE" and thinking that we can somehow control our A's by makin...	Jean4444	13	756	Mar 11, 2008 by nmike
	Random Thought for the Night (Preview) Living with the family disease of alcoholism is like going down a mountain... pretty easy to keep slipping further down. Recovering from this same disease is like going back up the mountain. It can be done... but it takes endurance and time and having the proper knowledge to know when to take a breat...	kismetstrand	2	380	Mar 11, 2008 by tea2
	Please read - Would like input (Preview) Happy Sunday (((Family))) Just wanted to bring up a couple of "business items" for everyone to consider. 1. At last month's business meeting we discussed the "Frequently Asked Questions" post at the top of the board. When they were placed up there, we decided to revisit the...	david62	4	754	Mar 11, 2008 by tea2
	cat not well. (Preview) My tiny Siamese Ruby is not well. She is not eating much. She is drinking though and not dehydrated and her level of activity is high. I am going to change her food and get her basic protein some other way. Please send up your prayers for her. I have really been struggling with the animals. The beagle dog...	maresie	10	343	Mar 11, 2008 by Lady
	Your favourite slogan let go slogans (Preview) Hello all, Just today it occurred to me how much help the al-anon slogans are to me every day but the one that stands head and shoulders above the rest (for me) is: "Let go" I use it in so many ways, when I worry, when I'm scared, when I obsess, when I interfere - just to name a few. So my question to y...	travors	12	4849	Mar 11, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Thanks everyone for you responses!! (Preview) Thanks, everyone for all your responses, I finally had the nerve to have a talk with Dad, and I think it went well. I'm learning very slowly to not hold things in anymore because it just eats you up inside. He is an addict, but he isn't abusive or he doen't blame me for his drinking. We have had long talks abo...	sisdragonfly1957	1	393	Mar 11, 2008 by hudsond
	What are double binds? (Preview) I keep learning new words and people's experiences and going ohhh, so that's why we fight like that or that's why we struggle with that. A post called what someone did or said a double bind but I don't exactly get it. Would someone please explain or give me another example? Thanks really will help- I have...	glad	5	493	Mar 11, 2008 by glad
	OK..give me some ESH on this (Preview) You have all read my vents on this situation I am in. My son's intermittent alcohol abuse led to a quick nasty divorce, secretly arranged by his EX, no legal counsel for him, he just said OK to it all and trusted her verbal promises. Two years of hell have ensued, with me in the middle. I was not asked nor di...	omajoy	9	612	Mar 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Are there any "success" stories? (Preview) I was just reading one of the many wise responses to my last post and just wanted to pose the question...has anyone actually found their happy ending? Someone asked the great question..." If the A were sober and living the good life would he choose you to spend his life with?" While I don't...	Codependent	17	3685	Mar 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Don't end up like me (Preview) I have vented on here quite a few times. Nothing has changed. nothing. What has changed is I give up. No worries please, I don't expect anyone to do anything or suggest anything. Believe me I have problem solved to death. Hav e worked hard on this. I used to: have a home, a loving mate, my kids, mother, fam...	debilyn	23	1070	Mar 11, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Sunday morning thoughts... (Preview) I do not like birthdays or anything associated with them. Has nothing to do with aging, but it is an emotional thing for me because of my childhood issues. Anyhow, my daughter just turned 11 and the celebrating has come to an end (finally!) with a slumber party. Thank goodness! I was soooo resistant...	Loupiness	7	398	Mar 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Choice (Preview) I promise I am not trying to play devil's advocate. You all have just given me a lot to think about and as I do more questions arise. I hope you all will see I am just trying to process it all and have patience with me. :) So many of your posts refer to choice..in terms of would he choose you? Or does he ever c...	Codependent	6	358	Mar 10, 2008 by lin0606
	Struggling to find my place (Preview) At a loss for what to do, I started writing, and ended up with a letter to a woman who is neither friend nor family, but has put me in the middle of this nonetheless. "How could you put so much into lying to the world that there's no room left for those who think you are the world? With every lie you bu...	Affected121	4	568	Mar 10, 2008 by Affected121
	Rough Weekend (Preview) First, I must tell you, this will most likely be a long post.... The weekend completely sucked.... It started with Friday, my 32nd birthday...woke him up at 1 p.m. (he works 3rd shift) to see if I could have the truck for the weekend or if he was taking me to my mother's house...He said he needed the truck a...	JenniferN	4	322	Mar 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Still on step three... P.U.S.H. (Preview) You know - it only just now dawned on me how weird my life has been and how in some bizarre way, each numerical month of the year I'm in happens to be the same number of the step I'm working. Month one, January - is when my life just flipped upside down, inside out and took a screaming cannon-ball leap into a...	Aloha	3	460	Mar 10, 2008 by maresie
	Light at end of tunnel (Preview) I've recently set a few boundries and kinda feel like superwoman this morning. I will no longer have "self doubt" everytime I am not agreed with or I don't get my hearts desire. I can't expain it but I think I'm beginning to "get it" in terms of being able to be happy regardless of w...	glad	5	480	Mar 10, 2008 by maresie
	Month Three, Step Three (Preview) *Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.* Great Recovery Group meeting last night that I attended. I loved it because there was so little discussion about our A's and our dealing with our A's. Just more focus on how we connect with our Hig...	Aloha	6	555	Mar 10, 2008 by maresie
	I'm so sick! Bleh! (Preview) Spent part of today going through (and shredding) all of my journals about my relationship with my A-bf and going through (and tossing out) all of the cards that he had ever given to me. I have been grieving the loss of our relationship for so long now that I don't even know exactly when "the loss o...	ESH	3	319	Mar 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	HOW DID U SPEND UR VACATION AWAY FROM UR A OR WAS IT DIFFICULT FOR U? (Preview) Well, my ABF has left...so I am getting a "break"...and it feels so good ...simply amazing, when he got out the car, my headache immediately went away! :) He call about 20 minutes later and said to me...you sound so happy now that I'm gone. I said, really you don't say (smiling). Anyway,...	DANDTALWAYS	7	473	Mar 10, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
	So many alcoholics; so worried about it (Preview) Not only have an A-bf, but realizing a few of my nieces & nephews may be alcoholics, too. It scares me to think of the life that they are setting up for themselves... scares me to no end. It's one thing to have an A-bf... but quite another when it is a person that you have known since they were an itty-b...	ESH	4	566	Mar 10, 2008 by DANDTALWAYS
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