Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

luvinmom · luvinmom

If I am undecided about asking it probably means that in my heart I know the right answer. My son was discharged from rehab on some meds, campral, naloxone & antabuse. He got a 90 day supply since he knew his insurance would end. I know I should be detaching... but still want to be engaged & s...

soconfused · soconfused

``Letting Go'' To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.It means I can't do it for someone else. To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.It's the realization I can't control another. To ``let go'' is not to enable,but to allow learning from natural consequences. To ``let go'' is to admit powerles...

ppay · ppay

Hi, everyone. I am new and just not sure where to turn. My 32 year old son is an alcoholic and does continue to drink. Sometimes he admits he has a problem and is going to stop but never does for very long. His girlfriend is the same way. She is wanting to go to AA meetings and he doesn't. She wants my adv...

ddub · ddub

greetings mip family~ I have spent some time with posts from the past on functional alcoholic spouses - I can relate to all of them and also thinking about maresie current post on boundaries. Could be my focus on my own life with functional alcoholic makes me slip back to the its not fair pity party but kn...

maresie · maresie

I find myself all the time having to scrutizine all my boundaries and work on limits and looking at my expectations. Every single day I find different ways I've allowed others to broach my boundaries in different ways. As someone who was incredibly codependent I allowed all my boundaries to be broa...

maresie · maresie

As I've spoken about often I have moved into a phase of my life where I am constantly assessing my boundaries and working on them. What's come up for me recently is a suprize. I've set in motion a lot of boundaries around being around active alcoholics and addicts. What's a shock to me is that intuitiv...

somethingsimple · somethingsimple

My mother died in Nov of 2006. She was a vicious nasty person to her children but was a good Christian woman to the outside world. She stopped drinking when I was 12 but never attended AA. The day she died my 82 yr old father moved in with me. He's had 6 strokes and cannot live alone. I quit my job as a school bu...

Toto814 · Toto814

I've read on more than on occasion on this forum that the movie 'Gaslight' was not to be missed by those of us affected by the 'A' disease. It is on cable today at noon EST on TCM (Turner Classic Movies). May be worth giving it a viewing.

ESH · ESH

Where can we go to learn to rise above being emotionally abused? Where? Where? I am sick of it! There are so many abusive people out there and I need a way of developing some rhino-skin so that I can deflect it somehow. I really think that once we have been emotionally abused, we somehow draw more of t...

puzzle · puzzle

I finally got an apartment. Another that was dropped down from above but even more perfect. A bit closer, lots of land, great people/landlords, private and they don't drink! God did have other plans after the other apt. fell through......I have paid the first month which starts in February. Only a ve...

Maryann1966 · Maryann1966

So I joined here yesterday, went to my first f2f today, when I commit to something, I go all out. I've been very emotional, so was worried about a f2f meeting. Not really comfortable cryng in public! The topic for the day was right on for me......expectations. I'm dealing with my 17 year old son and a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I just wish that I could understand WHY IT IS SO HARD to let go of someone and walk away from them after a relationship ends? ExABF-sober in program 10yrs and I split up.....or he split up with me I should say....November 16th. We have stayed in contact and have talked and argued since then....him argui...

abbyal · abbyal

Happy Birthday to Tiredtonite , Have a good one . A brand new yr - yur gonna find the job of your dreams I just know it . Louise

luvinmom · luvinmom

Our son was discharged from a stay in rehab. That night he had 3 friends and alcohol in my parents home where he stays. My parents are now out of town for winter and we went over kicked the kids out, took his keys the house and said he needed to find someplace else to stay. We did so the Alanon way, we told...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My AS is in a free apartment from a friend. It is located in a very bad area, but the apartment is nice. It is close to the court where he is supposed to report daily and close to the addiction day program he is supposed to attend. He has nothing basically. His car was almost totalled and will be repossessed....

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've been feeling pretty good lately, as if I may be starting to heal. Then, I talk to my children, and they only see me as flawed. This really presents itself in situations where they aren't getting what they want. I can give and give and give, and then when it is not enough or I screw up, nothing good I ha...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish my loved family here, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's hoping it's filled with love, laughter, tons of silliness and serenity. A friend once told me not wish that a year would come to an end, because it will be over before you know it. I understan...

AlvinG · AlvinG

Hello all, I live in a small town that has no Al-anon groups so I'm looking on the Net for some answers. I have a 26 year old son that is an alcoholic and he lives away from home. It is just a matter of time that he will not be able to make it on his own. The question I have is do I take him back in. I have no idea wheth...

Maryann1966 · Maryann1966

Hello everyone, I have just discovered this board and am beginning to work on step 1. I just wanted to introduce myself and give a bit of some background info. Thanks in advance to those who read through, I'll make it as brief as I can. My 17 year old son will be turning himself in for probation revocation...

Maria123 · Maria123

Happy New Years (((((my friends))))), This past year I had a calendar that gave me daily reflections and so I thought I'd share some of the really good ones to give consideration to: The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. Religion is but one tree with many branches. Before you speak,...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Happy New Year, My wish for all of you is health, happiness and most of all serenity throughout this new year. I hope 2009 brings much joy and comfort to all of you wonderful people. Don't forget to hug someone you love.....:) Love ya, Andrea

luckyeddie · luckyeddie

the following is a letter i received a few years back from a 15 year old girl Dear Eddie alateen is where i go to let off steam. it helps to think there is other people out there that know exactly what i am going through i get mad really easy i hate getting angry it makes me feel unclean i hate the way mum gets rea...

LG · LG

Hi everyone, first of all Happy New Year! I hope 2009 is a year of peace, health, and serenity for everyone in this community. Question - has anyone found a source of Alanon literature (e.g. Courage to Change, ODAT, How Alanon Works, etc.) in electronic format ? I have these books and others in the usual...

Suzannah · Suzannah

As you are aware, I have been away from this board for a while, however, it is simply incredible to see the journeys some of our family are making and the miracles that have taken place during this holiday in particular. I feel so encouraged and blessed by each one that I have read of and it makes my heart si...

hope for me n you · hope for me n you

I managed to get myself in to the doctor today to have her check the lump I had found under my arm .. She checked it out and mentioned she could feel what I was feeling but mentioned also that I do have a muscleband there. She mentioned she felt the lymphnode areas and didn't seem to think there was any swelli...

missing out · missing out

I just wanted to take a minute and wish ALL OF YOU a Very Happy New Years, and hope that you all have a wonderful day, and that you are all safe...Thanks so much for excepting me into your group... Already it has been a blessing just knowing that I am NOT alone...And Not Going Crazy...lol... So Please be sa...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Was just thinking about the ending of the year and what a year it has been.......I fought love, found love for the first time in years and years, and lost it again. I hit my bottom and found a way to get back up thanks to all of you. I've worked hard-but been blessed with a good job that allows me to be a good...

desert_brat · desert_brat

A year ago I was desperately praying for guidance on how to move forward with my life. I could no longer go on with things the way they were and I was not quite ready to give up on everything I had worked for all my life. My husband was drinking heavily but assured me he had no intention of EVER quitting no...

buick23 · buick23

Just something I wanted to share. I wrote down the sentence "You are not a victim, you are a volunteer" on a piece of paper which is on my computer desk. An alanon member told me this the other day. My bf read it and asked me where I got it from. I wasn't about to explain to him what it meant because I...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I had a day full of program people. Spent alot of the day with a recoverying fellow I have done some work for that ended in a marvelous lunch. Funny that the car they had prearranged for at the airport was not available and after they got passed the "fits" we all went to do what needed to be done...

daylight48 · daylight48

Hello everyone, I hope someone can help me. Is the stepwork board still active because I cant log into it. I've tried a few times but with no luck. Regards, daylight

maresie · maresie

This was my 2nd Christmas without the A. I'm really having to look at that its going to be a long haul to really get on my feet with solid ground under them. Of course in my magical thinking I want to believe that everything was going to wonderful if I willed in that way. On some levels everything is good, I'...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Havent posted for a while as I've been in such turmoil and it took everything I had to get through the past few weeks. As you may remember my Abf is in rehab and things have been really tough for us, we have kept going and tried to do what is right for us both. On his home visits we've spoken about o...

luvinmom · luvinmom

We have struggled with our son for the past 4 years. We are acutely aware of a family history of alcoholism on both sides. Since he has been 16 we have consistently set limits, we have set responsibilities for which privileges have been earned or lost. We have a younger child. We are sure that he dran...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I met this guy online that I think I will really like and we could possibly hit it off. I find myself obsessing again. My mind filling up with thoughts of him, what ifs, oh no he didn't text me back did he hate that picture? Am I not what he thought? ETC ETC ETC.... I get so mad at myself, at least I can reco...

Felicia · Felicia

Hi - My name is Felicia and I am new to the board. I have been reading it over while waiting for my membership to kick in. I am so hurt, confused, angry, devasted and carry so much guilt. I have been going to a counselor and she wanted me to check this out as well as a victim of domestic violence group. My story (...

forever-hopeful · forever-hopeful

hi, i'm new here i found the online meeting room by accident and they led me here. My husband is an alcoholic. He's looking at going to treatment. He also says he doesn't love me anymore. We have 2 kids ages 2.5 and 8; and 2 cats! I'm sad all the time and am feeling lost so i'm glad i found this place. I can re...

debilyn · debilyn

hi all, am feeling somewhat better. Can laugh with out moaning.... The bruising must be healing. However the break is bad. Broken completely through is my 8th rib. This is no fun I tell ya. Went to er Sunday, the doc was wonderful. I could not sleep so he gave my bad shoulder a shot of steroid and meds that a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I gotta say that even though Christmas was OK, I spent most of the time frustrated with my mother. She was very difficult for me to deal with: I was hurt! The reason I was hurt is because when we were playing a game, she didn't even try to support me in my efforts to play. I can't explain it very well. Actually...

agatha · agatha

Good Morning First I would like to say hello to everyone. It's been a long time since I've visited this board on any regular kind of basis. I've been in and out just as I have been with Al-Anon over the years. I was just reading today's page in the Courage to Change and boy, this one speaks to me. "I play...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the guy just stopped communicating, guess my picture scared him off ;) but I actually do have a date with someone else so it all works out of course I was much more excited about the other guy. I find myself thinking this horrible thought. Taking what you get and staying in the now... I want that inten...

3boysandonegirl · 3boysandonegirl

I have 2 sons who are developmentally delayed and have Aspergers... I love them dearly, I love them just the way they are and I'm not sorry that I had them or anything like that, I'm just venting because I am feeling extra overwhelmed and misunderstood as a parent. When my children and I go about our eve...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I wanted to take a minute and Thank each and everyone who responded to my post yesterday. Listening to your stories of ESH made me feel so much better and more hopeful for things to come. The situation with exABF has been hard to deal with but I think if I listen to what I have heard and my sponsor and just...

barisax · barisax

In the AA Promises, the last promise is "We will realize God is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves". God does not do for us what we CAN do for ourselves. Just had that on the brain in the middle of the night here in the USA. Don't know where I first heard it but it comes to mind every mornin...

ddub · ddub

thank you for sharing new thoughts and esh for me over this past year or more. It feels so good to be understood, not alone and someone there to bounce things off so I don't lose my mind listening to confusion. The holidays have been more mellow and lots easier when the expectations are reduced, respon...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi all, Many of you know that my AH is currently in hospital recovering from DTs. He was just moved from the ICU to a regular medical unit and is beginning to come up out of sedation. While he is still suffering from some psychosis -sporadic hallucinations, aggressiveness etc. he also has some moments o...

Suzannah · Suzannah

What joy and peace and serenity I have felt this time around. The last four Christmas holidays have been really hard as I have spent them entirely ALONE. No family, no friends, bad health, and sickness. This year I contracted the worst Flu virus that I have ever experienced, got a secondary infection a...

curlee-girl · curlee-girl

I am 6 months into al anon and have been separated from xabf for the same amount of time. An occasional dinner or movie or trip to someplace fun with a member of the opposite sex sounds really good right now. I'm thinking a healthy crush on someone might help me make my transition to the single life. Shou...

Loupiness · Loupiness

It used to be that topics that had new posts were in bold, and those where I had read all the posts were not. Suddenly it seems the posts are staying in bold form, even after I have read all the responses. Is there a setting to change this? Thanks! Lou

New Member Here......... · Cordovian

I just joined MIP this morning. I am looking forward to everything that is offered here. I also hope my past and present experiences that I have survived by living with a severe alcoholic can help other members as well.

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all Christmas eve was the worse but we made it throught. A cam over to open presant and he was drinking and beeing a butt after 20 mimutes he left but came back around 6.pm to get his gifts and i made him leave I just could not handle seeing him. he did not like me telling him that i could handle the abuse. bu...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Yes, it is Christmas, and I am calm. I had less time to prepare and less money to spend, but I am getting through it and didn't use all my time wishing it away like I have in years past. This is not to say I have been full of joyful anticipation, but rather I have just accepted the holidays will come and go, and I...

nmike · nmike

All the best to all the Alanoners who celebrate this season, or don't celebrate this season, who are snowed in or out, who have an A or sober A or ex A or several A's to deal with. Thanks tlc and glad for your esh. It is MY 35th wedding anniversary tonight. He left 3 1/2 years ago. He has been married for 30 yea...

buick23 · buick23

I was thinking about things I like about my abfsober, and sadly could not think of one. Maybe we are going tru a stage, I don't know. He changed so suddely over the last 1 1/2 months. Well, he is sober and that is great. If he had never quit, we would not be together now. At times, I think it does not make a dif...

helpme08 · helpme08

I'm looking to my online friends for support. My AH has about 8 bottles of beer (he bought it himself) in him already and it's only 10:30 a.m. I've made one comment and it just blew up in my face. We have to go to my Grandma's house to celebrate Christmas in a couple of hours and I know what kind of shape he...

helpme08 · helpme08

I am so sad right now. I can't even explain it!!! Not only did my AH drink all day, but he is making cutting remarks towards me and my family. My family is very close to me. Please help me right now!!!!!

helpme08 · helpme08

I am so sad right now. I can't even explain it!!! Not only did my AH drink all day, but he is making cutting remarks towards me and my family. My family is very close to me. Please help me right now!!!!!

mesa_lady · mesa_lady

My boyfriend's dad was admitted to the hospital right before Christmas, and was diagnosed with HRS (cirrhosis, followed by acetis and kidney failure). The hospital won't treat him now as they feel there is nothing that can be done, and have given him 2-5 more days to live. My boyfriend is 36 and has li...

Codependent · Codependent

As you all recall my rejection experience last weekend with the A. Me getting drunk and throwing myself at him and he not even wanting to have sex with me. You know the next morning still intoxicated I told him that my heart couldn't take it anymore and that we could be friendly but no longer friends. W...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I made a good choice this year. I made my plan b my plan a! I went ahead and made my own plans with non-alcoholic people for christmas. I booked a flight to a best friends home who I have not seen in quite some time. We had a lot of fun hanging out and catching up. We cooked, we shopped, went to a movie, watc...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ask son about medications? (Preview) If I am undecided about asking it probably means that in my heart I know the right answer. My son was discharged from rehab on some meds, campral, naloxone & antabuse. He got a 90 day supply since he knew his insurance would end. I know I should be detaching... but still want to be engaged & s...	luvinmom	1	509	Jan 4, 2009 by maresie
	letting go (Preview) ``Letting Go'' To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.It means I can't do it for someone else. To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.It's the realization I can't control another. To ``let go'' is not to enable,but to allow learning from natural consequences. To ``let go'' is to admit powerles...	soconfused	8	690	Jan 4, 2009 by agatha
	Trying to accept son's alcoholism (Preview) Hi, everyone. I am new and just not sure where to turn. My 32 year old son is an alcoholic and does continue to drink. Sometimes he admits he has a problem and is going to stop but never does for very long. His girlfriend is the same way. She is wanting to go to AA meetings and he doesn't. She wants my adv...	ppay	6	5657	Jan 4, 2009 by Mobirdie
	functional alcoholic spouses (Preview) greetings mip family~ I have spent some time with posts from the past on functional alcoholic spouses - I can relate to all of them and also thinking about maresie current post on boundaries. Could be my focus on my own life with functional alcoholic makes me slip back to the its not fair pity party but kn...	ddub	2	1673	Jan 4, 2009 by maresie
	boundaries (Preview) I find myself all the time having to scrutizine all my boundaries and work on limits and looking at my expectations. Every single day I find different ways I've allowed others to broach my boundaries in different ways. As someone who was incredibly codependent I allowed all my boundaries to be broa...	maresie	3	586	Jan 4, 2009 by snowqueen
	People Pleasing a new vantage point (Preview) As I've spoken about often I have moved into a phase of my life where I am constantly assessing my boundaries and working on them. What's come up for me recently is a suprize. I've set in motion a lot of boundaries around being around active alcoholics and addicts. What's a shock to me is that intuitiv...	maresie	6	665	Jan 4, 2009 by snowqueen
	mourning... (Preview) My mother died in Nov of 2006. She was a vicious nasty person to her children but was a good Christian woman to the outside world. She stopped drinking when I was 12 but never attended AA. The day she died my 82 yr old father moved in with me. He's had 6 strokes and cannot live alone. I quit my job as a school bu...	somethingsimple	8	754	Jan 4, 2009 by somethingsimple
	'Gaslight" - the movie (Preview) I've read on more than on occasion on this forum that the movie 'Gaslight' was not to be missed by those of us affected by the 'A' disease. It is on cable today at noon EST on TCM (Turner Classic Movies). May be worth giving it a viewing.	Toto814	0	451	Jan 4, 2009 by Toto814
	I am sick, sick, sick! (Preview) Where can we go to learn to rise above being emotionally abused? Where? Where? I am sick of it! There are so many abusive people out there and I need a way of developing some rhino-skin so that I can deflect it somehow. I really think that once we have been emotionally abused, we somehow draw more of t...	ESH	8	924	Jan 3, 2009 by ESH
	If you have been here, please help me through this.. (Preview) I finally got an apartment. Another that was dropped down from above but even more perfect. A bit closer, lots of land, great people/landlords, private and they don't drink! God did have other plans after the other apt. fell through......I have paid the first month which starts in February. Only a ve...	puzzle	10	780	Jan 3, 2009 by puzzle
	First f2f today (Preview) So I joined here yesterday, went to my first f2f today, when I commit to something, I go all out. I've been very emotional, so was worried about a f2f meeting. Not really comfortable cryng in public! The topic for the day was right on for me......expectations. I'm dealing with my 17 year old son and a...	Maryann1966	7	818	Jan 3, 2009 by DreamsOver
	Why is it sooooooo hard???? Someone PLEASE help me to understand this~ (Preview) I just wish that I could understand WHY IT IS SO HARD to let go of someone and walk away from them after a relationship ends? ExABF-sober in program 10yrs and I split up.....or he split up with me I should say....November 16th. We have stayed in contact and have talked and argued since then....him argui...	shellyj123	12	834	Jan 3, 2009 by JulieSDgirl
	Happy B day (Preview) Happy Birthday to Tiredtonite , Have a good one . A brand new yr - yur gonna find the job of your dreams I just know it . Louise	abbyal	10	691	Jan 2, 2009 by tiredtonite
	One Day, Just Today (Preview) Our son was discharged from a stay in rehab. That night he had 3 friends and alcohol in my parents home where he stays. My parents are now out of town for winter and we went over kicked the kids out, took his keys the house and said he needed to find someplace else to stay. We did so the Alanon way, we told...	luvinmom	2	408	Jan 2, 2009 by missing out
	Working Hard (Preview) My AS is in a free apartment from a friend. It is located in a very bad area, but the apartment is nice. It is close to the court where he is supposed to report daily and close to the addiction day program he is supposed to attend. He has nothing basically. His car was almost totalled and will be repossessed....	Trinia2	3	493	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	my pity post (Preview) I've been feeling pretty good lately, as if I may be starting to heal. Then, I talk to my children, and they only see me as flawed. This really presents itself in situations where they aren't getting what they want. I can give and give and give, and then when it is not enough or I screw up, nothing good I ha...	Loupiness	8	769	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Happy New Year! (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish my loved family here, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's hoping it's filled with love, laughter, tons of silliness and serenity. A friend once told me not wish that a year would come to an end, because it will be over before you know it. I understan...	Karilynn	5	613	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Need some advice (Preview) Hello all, I live in a small town that has no Al-anon groups so I'm looking on the Net for some answers. I have a 26 year old son that is an alcoholic and he lives away from home. It is just a matter of time that he will not be able to make it on his own. The question I have is do I take him back in. I have no idea wheth...	AlvinG	10	766	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Introduction (Preview) Hello everyone, I have just discovered this board and am beginning to work on step 1. I just wanted to introduce myself and give a bit of some background info. Thanks in advance to those who read through, I'll make it as brief as I can. My 17 year old son will be turning himself in for probation revocation...	Maryann1966	4	511	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Looking back or looking forward (Preview) Happy New Years (((((my friends))))), This past year I had a calendar that gave me daily reflections and so I thought I'd share some of the really good ones to give consideration to: The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. Religion is but one tree with many branches. Before you speak,...	Maria123	4	739	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Happy New Year (Preview) Happy New Year, My wish for all of you is health, happiness and most of all serenity throughout this new year. I hope 2009 brings much joy and comfort to all of you wonderful people. Don't forget to hug someone you love.....:) Love ya, Andrea	Andrea12	5	575	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	alateen (Preview) the following is a letter i received a few years back from a 15 year old girl Dear Eddie alateen is where i go to let off steam. it helps to think there is other people out there that know exactly what i am going through i get mad really easy i hate getting angry it makes me feel unclean i hate the way mum gets rea...	luckyeddie	3	566	Jan 2, 2009 by debilyn
	Does Alanon literature exist in electronic format? (Preview) Hi everyone, first of all Happy New Year! I hope 2009 is a year of peace, health, and serenity for everyone in this community. Question - has anyone found a source of Alanon literature (e.g. Courage to Change, ODAT, How Alanon Works, etc.) in electronic format ? I have these books and others in the usual...	LG	3	5098	Jan 1, 2009 by LG
	Encourzged by the incredible journeys and the miracles happening in this family... (Preview) As you are aware, I have been away from this board for a while, however, it is simply incredible to see the journeys some of our family are making and the miracles that have taken place during this holiday in particular. I feel so encouraged and blessed by each one that I have read of and it makes my heart si...	Suzannah	2	410	Jan 1, 2009 by Maria123
	I went to the doctor (Preview) I managed to get myself in to the doctor today to have her check the lump I had found under my arm .. She checked it out and mentioned she could feel what I was feeling but mentioned also that I do have a muscleband there. She mentioned she felt the lymphnode areas and didn't seem to think there was any swelli...	hope for me n you	4	556	Jan 1, 2009 by Maria123
	Thank you.... (Preview) I just wanted to take a minute and wish ALL OF YOU a Very Happy New Years, and hope that you all have a wonderful day, and that you are all safe...Thanks so much for excepting me into your group... Already it has been a blessing just knowing that I am NOT alone...And Not Going Crazy...lol... So Please be sa...	missing out	3	585	Jan 1, 2009 by Maria123
	A little bit of gratitude to end the year~ (Preview) Was just thinking about the ending of the year and what a year it has been.......I fought love, found love for the first time in years and years, and lost it again. I hit my bottom and found a way to get back up thanks to all of you. I've worked hard-but been blessed with a good job that allows me to be a good...	shellyj123	2	606	Jan 1, 2009 by Maria123
	special thankyou to this program (Preview) A year ago I was desperately praying for guidance on how to move forward with my life. I could no longer go on with things the way they were and I was not quite ready to give up on everything I had worked for all my life. My husband was drinking heavily but assured me he had no intention of EVER quitting no...	desert_brat	4	609	Jan 1, 2009 by Jean4444
	you are not a victim (Preview) Just something I wanted to share. I wrote down the sentence "You are not a victim, you are a volunteer" on a piece of paper which is on my computer desk. An alanon member told me this the other day. My bf read it and asked me where I got it from. I wasn't about to explain to him what it meant because I...	buick23	4	681	Dec 31, 2008 by Jerry F
	There is no doubt...It works!! (Preview) I had a day full of program people. Spent alot of the day with a recoverying fellow I have done some work for that ended in a marvelous lunch. Funny that the car they had prearranged for at the airport was not available and after they got passed the "fits" we all went to do what needed to be done...	Jerry F	6	727	Dec 31, 2008 by Andrea12
	stepwork board (Preview) Hello everyone, I hope someone can help me. Is the stepwork board still active because I cant log into it. I've tried a few times but with no luck. Regards, daylight	daylight48	2	428	Dec 31, 2008 by daylight48
	2nd Christmas without the A. (Preview) This was my 2nd Christmas without the A. I'm really having to look at that its going to be a long haul to really get on my feet with solid ground under them. Of course in my magical thinking I want to believe that everything was going to wonderful if I willed in that way. On some levels everything is good, I'...	maresie	3	586	Dec 31, 2008 by Mandy123
	Still confused (Preview) Hi (((All))) Havent posted for a while as I've been in such turmoil and it took everything I had to get through the past few weeks. As you may remember my Abf is in rehab and things have been really tough for us, we have kept going and tried to do what is right for us both. On his home visits we've spoken about o...	Mariner	5	650	Dec 31, 2008 by Mariner
	20 yr old son is alcoholic (Preview) We have struggled with our son for the past 4 years. We are acutely aware of a family history of alcoholism on both sides. Since he has been 16 we have consistently set limits, we have set responsibilities for which privileges have been earned or lost. We have a younger child. We are sure that he dran...	luvinmom	8	1438	Dec 31, 2008 by luvinmom
	Obsessing (Preview) I met this guy online that I think I will really like and we could possibly hit it off. I find myself obsessing again. My mind filling up with thoughts of him, what ifs, oh no he didn't text me back did he hate that picture? Am I not what he thought? ETC ETC ETC.... I get so mad at myself, at least I can reco...	carolinagirl	8	754	Dec 31, 2008 by hope for me n you
	new and not handling things well (Preview) Hi - My name is Felicia and I am new to the board. I have been reading it over while waiting for my membership to kick in. I am so hurt, confused, angry, devasted and carry so much guilt. I have been going to a counselor and she wanted me to check this out as well as a victim of domestic violence group. My story (...	Felicia	9	841	Dec 30, 2008 by Felicia
	Just wanted to introduce myself and give a little background (Preview) hi, i'm new here i found the online meeting room by accident and they led me here. My husband is an alcoholic. He's looking at going to treatment. He also says he doesn't love me anymore. We have 2 kids ages 2.5 and 8; and 2 cats! I'm sad all the time and am feeling lost so i'm glad i found this place. I can re...	forever-hopeful	6	768	Dec 30, 2008 by Maria123
	LIttle update (Preview) hi all, am feeling somewhat better. Can laugh with out moaning.... The bruising must be healing. However the break is bad. Broken completely through is my 8th rib. This is no fun I tell ya. Went to er Sunday, the doc was wonderful. I could not sleep so he gave my bad shoulder a shot of steroid and meds that a...	debilyn	5	649	Dec 30, 2008 by Maria123
	Christmas was OK ! (Preview) I gotta say that even though Christmas was OK, I spent most of the time frustrated with my mother. She was very difficult for me to deal with: I was hurt! The reason I was hurt is because when we were playing a game, she didn't even try to support me in my efforts to play. I can't explain it very well. Actually...	Hoot Nanny	1	537	Dec 30, 2008 by maresie
	Page 365 (Preview) Good Morning First I would like to say hello to everyone. It's been a long time since I've visited this board on any regular kind of basis. I've been in and out just as I have been with Al-Anon over the years. I was just reading today's page in the Courage to Change and boy, this one speaks to me. "I play...	agatha	3	675	Dec 30, 2008 by maresie
	Dating.... again.... (Preview) So the guy just stopped communicating, guess my picture scared him off ;) but I actually do have a date with someone else so it all works out of course I was much more excited about the other guy. I find myself thinking this horrible thought. Taking what you get and staying in the now... I want that inten...	carolinagirl	3	541	Dec 30, 2008 by maresie
	Yet another disease that has my family in its grip... (Preview) I have 2 sons who are developmentally delayed and have Aspergers... I love them dearly, I love them just the way they are and I'm not sorry that I had them or anything like that, I'm just venting because I am feeling extra overwhelmed and misunderstood as a parent. When my children and I go about our eve...	3boysandonegirl	10	1043	Dec 30, 2008 by smileycat
	Thank you~ (Preview) I wanted to take a minute and Thank each and everyone who responded to my post yesterday. Listening to your stories of ESH made me feel so much better and more hopeful for things to come. The situation with exABF has been hard to deal with but I think if I listen to what I have heard and my sponsor and just...	shellyj123	1	559	Dec 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	A Thought (Preview) In the AA Promises, the last promise is "We will realize God is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves". God does not do for us what we CAN do for ourselves. Just had that on the brain in the middle of the night here in the USA. Don't know where I first heard it but it comes to mind every mornin...	barisax	7	754	Dec 30, 2008 by Rita G
	Thank you MIP (Preview) thank you for sharing new thoughts and esh for me over this past year or more. It feels so good to be understood, not alone and someone there to bounce things off so I don't lose my mind listening to confusion. The holidays have been more mellow and lots easier when the expectations are reduced, respon...	ddub	6	625	Dec 30, 2008 by Suzannah
	Struggling a bit tonight (Preview) Hi all, Many of you know that my AH is currently in hospital recovering from DTs. He was just moved from the ICU to a regular medical unit and is beginning to come up out of sedation. While he is still suffering from some psychosis -sporadic hallucinations, aggressiveness etc. he also has some moments o...	Rocky38	6	702	Dec 30, 2008 by Suzannah
	The wonder of the presence of my higher power - who is for me God - at this time of year... (Preview) What joy and peace and serenity I have felt this time around. The last four Christmas holidays have been really hard as I have spent them entirely ALONE. No family, no friends, bad health, and sickness. This year I contracted the worst Flu virus that I have ever experienced, got a secondary infection a...	Suzannah	8	634	Dec 30, 2008 by debilyn
	When should I start dating again (Preview) I am 6 months into al anon and have been separated from xabf for the same amount of time. An occasional dinner or movie or trip to someplace fun with a member of the opposite sex sounds really good right now. I'm thinking a healthy crush on someone might help me make my transition to the single life. Shou...	curlee-girl	5	778	Dec 29, 2008 by curlee-girl
	Technical question about this board (Preview) It used to be that topics that had new posts were in bold, and those where I had read all the posts were not. Suddenly it seems the posts are staying in bold form, even after I have read all the responses. Is there a setting to change this? Thanks! Lou	Loupiness	3	548	Dec 29, 2008 by StargazerLily
	New Member Here......... (Preview) I just joined MIP this morning. I am looking forward to everything that is offered here. I also hope my past and present experiences that I have survived by living with a severe alcoholic can help other members as well.	Cordovian	7	794	Dec 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	made it throught the holidays (Preview) Hi all Christmas eve was the worse but we made it throught. A cam over to open presant and he was drinking and beeing a butt after 20 mimutes he left but came back around 6.pm to get his gifts and i made him leave I just could not handle seeing him. he did not like me telling him that i could handle the abuse. bu...	smileycat	2	544	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	all is calm... (Preview) Yes, it is Christmas, and I am calm. I had less time to prepare and less money to spend, but I am getting through it and didn't use all my time wishing it away like I have in years past. This is not to say I have been full of joyful anticipation, but rather I have just accepted the holidays will come and go, and I...	Loupiness	4	562	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	Reflection (Preview) All the best to all the Alanoners who celebrate this season, or don't celebrate this season, who are snowed in or out, who have an A or sober A or ex A or several A's to deal with. Thanks tlc and glad for your esh. It is MY 35th wedding anniversary tonight. He left 3 1/2 years ago. He has been married for 30 yea...	nmike	4	1671	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	What's the difference? (Preview) I was thinking about things I like about my abfsober, and sadly could not think of one. Maybe we are going tru a stage, I don't know. He changed so suddely over the last 1 1/2 months. Well, he is sober and that is great. If he had never quit, we would not be together now. At times, I think it does not make a dif...	buick23	5	609	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	Need Support (Preview) I'm looking to my online friends for support. My AH has about 8 bottles of beer (he bought it himself) in him already and it's only 10:30 a.m. I've made one comment and it just blew up in my face. We have to go to my Grandma's house to celebrate Christmas in a couple of hours and I know what kind of shape he...	helpme08	6	700	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	I am sad (Preview) I am so sad right now. I can't even explain it!!! Not only did my AH drink all day, but he is making cutting remarks towards me and my family. My family is very close to me. Please help me right now!!!!!	helpme08	10	726	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	I am sad (Preview) I am so sad right now. I can't even explain it!!! Not only did my AH drink all day, but he is making cutting remarks towards me and my family. My family is very close to me. Please help me right now!!!!!	helpme08	4	555	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	Boyfriend's father dying of Cirrhosis. Help with my feelings/helping my boyfriend. (Preview) My boyfriend's dad was admitted to the hospital right before Christmas, and was diagnosed with HRS (cirrhosis, followed by acetis and kidney failure). The hospital won't treat him now as they feel there is nothing that can be done, and have given him 2-5 more days to live. My boyfriend is 36 and has li...	mesa_lady	6	2428	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	He called (Preview) As you all recall my rejection experience last weekend with the A. Me getting drunk and throwing myself at him and he not even wanting to have sex with me. You know the next morning still intoxicated I told him that my heart couldn't take it anymore and that we could be friendly but no longer friends. W...	Codependent	5	702	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
	Goodness sticks! (Preview) I made a good choice this year. I made my plan b my plan a! I went ahead and made my own plans with non-alcoholic people for christmas. I booked a flight to a best friends home who I have not seen in quite some time. We had a lot of fun hanging out and catching up. We cooked, we shopped, went to a movie, watc...	Jean4444	6	634	Dec 29, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.