The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I made a good choice this year. I made my plan b my plan a! I went ahead and made my own plans with non-alcoholic people for christmas. I booked a flight to a best friends home who I have not seen in quite some time. We had a lot of fun hanging out and catching up. We cooked, we shopped, went to a movie, watched some movies at home, went on walks in the mountains, drove around, ate out, etc. It was very nice. I am so glad I took care of myself and did something I wanted to do with a sweet dear friend I have not seen in awhile.
I did talk to my A mom and she tried to lay a guilt trip on me but I only went on that guilt trip for around 10 minutes before choosing to get off that train. She told me she was pretty sure she would not see another christmas and would be dead this time next year. She said this was her last christmas and all she wanted was to have her family around her. I told her that I was sorry she was in so much pain and that I loved her and would see her some other time and Merry Christmas.
I came to some realizations when I was visiting my friend. It was kind of a retreat for me up in the mountains in New Mexico. Its so beautiful there. My realization is that all the good stuff that has happened to us sticks like a snowball and all the bad stuff just falls away and slides off. This was a message from my HP in some meditation I did while I was there in the silence of the mountains. Nothing bad sticks! It all washes off!! The only thing that is permanent are the good things- the good feelings, the good times, the good memories- that is where our nourishment and growth lies. This is what accumulates as we age, too- all the goodness keeps sticking. I felt so good when HP told me this!
Happy New Year everyone and remember, all that yucky toxic stuff just rinses off- its only the positive and goodness that stays put on us! Spend as much time and energy as possible in the goodness and light! Laugh and love and feel GOOD! Its your choice! Hugs, and love, J.
It sounds like a wonderful holiday....good for you!
This was the first Christmas for my children and I since my AH and I have split and it was soooo stress free. The kids spent time with their Dad (and his AGF) and time at home with me. It all went so smoothly.
I'm quite sure the it would not have be this stress free if I were not regularly attending my home group....thank you Al-Anon!
I love this, Jean. Thank you for sharing it. Goodness sticks! I will remember that.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
My parents guilt tripped me for years when I did not go home for Christmas. Then I had a ex A whose mother was absolutely insistent every Christmas he had to go there. He went regardless. This Christmas he called needless to say and I didn't answer.
I can't say I had a wonderful time. I certainly had a wonderful meal I cooked it but it wasn't a great time. I have to work to make that possible for me.
I'm glad you did. I am so glad you are making taking care of yourself paramount I feel easier about doing it knowing there is someone else out there willing to try it out.
