Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Not sure what it is but today I just feel overwelming alone, for the first time in awhile. I think a lot of it may be the situation with EXABF, (and my son leaving for camp for a week is taking a toll too). I haven't been handling that well and have not been able to achieve the detachment that I know I need to h...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Well, GOD knows what is right for me. I think this is just another test that I have to pass. Yes, my garage and utility room have 3 inches of water and they are expecting more rain in about 4 hours. But I'm prepared, and I already put in my flood claim with my insurance company. I've packed my important...

Sincerely · Sincerely

OMG, my dog was trying to tell me that this was going to be bad last night. my garage is flooded. one inch more and it will be in my house. i'm in south louisiana, i've seen flooding like this, but never in my home. i'm gonna get my important papers and my photos and i am out of here. i'll keep you posted. ...

Rora · Rora

I spent some time with a long time friend over the past week. We've been friends nearly 15 years. She's wonderful. And what she's really really good at is minding her own business. She has a solid marriage, to a man who is not an A. They have a solid foundation and for the most part a very happy marriage...

deserve_more · deserve_more

The xxxx xxxx. Except that he doesn't know that I know. He was clever enough to even leave his usernames and passwords written down for me. I would be concerned for the marriage (if I thought that we really have one left), and if I hadn't googled the sites to learn that they are scams that want to lure him i...

maresie · maresie

I am trying to prepare for the summer and it looks like a long hard one for me. I'm trying to get some desperately needed dental work done as well as get new glasses. For me that means putting my head down and making that the focus. I'd love to hare some time off, relax and enjoy the scenery but my teeth are no...

superwoman_311 · superwoman_311

Hello, this is all fairly new to me. I found out a few weeks ago that my husband is addicted to cocaine and havnig a problem with alcohol as well. He stayed in a Rehab here in Houston, Texas for 16 days, he is now doing PHP (partial hospitalization) and living with his father at night. Its hard on me. I want hi...

perrier · perrier

Hello everyone, this is my first visit and I would like some direction. My husband is a very serious drinker, starts first thing in the morning, and is drunk about 5 days a week. He lost is driving license when he went to pick up our daughters from school! He drinks at work and as we work together in our o...

brightmommy · brightmommy

I am still not connecting with anyone in the f2f meetings...I am in need of a sponsor. I am looking for a female...who has worked the steps before. I would like someone who is a qualifier because of a spouse and/or an adult child of an A parent. I have been working the steps alone this time round...on St...

Annie69 · Annie69

A and his buddy came back here around 3 a.m. I had the door locked and WOULD NOT let them in. They yelled and scream so I called the law. When they got here A and his buddy went to jail. Still there for all I know. A tried to call me collect but I fixed it where I can't get calls from jail. Had a good day, wen...

Jozie · Jozie

My mother just stop'd by to let me know the news of Abrothers Court day.... I can not stand the worthless people that they have working in our court systems... I don't know why We even pay their salary's... THEY LET HIM GO!!! AGAIN... I mean lets see... He is 29 yrs old, he has a record to date of (4) DWI's (GU...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... So been doing some thinkin on the whole Abrother thing, sat down with my Mom yesterday and told her what I have been telling all of you..June 1st is D-Day... The Final finally of it all... The day I am No Longer responsible for ANY A's in my family... That is the day that all my responsibilty to my Afat...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I will be getting a root canal in the morning. Blech!! A consequence of what I believe to be the direct result of the self-neglect that came from the disease of co-dependency. It had been 2.5 yrs since I went to the dentist. Unbelievable. I used to go every 6 months. I love my teeth. I found out I...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I "borrowed" the title of this post from a response from Glad Lee the other day, but it got me to thinking.... I don't like "labels", for us, or others, as it tends to lump too many people/personalities/circumstances as one.... Two of the really common ones that we see on this b...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Alright I have never said this to anyone because I have never really thought of it. I think it's kind of part of step 4. I posted on here the last couple days about my A cheating and staying with this girl...I have been up and down and thinking A LOT. Here is what I have come up with. I was always afraid to have a...

Annie69 · Annie69

My A has a drinkin buddy that just got out of jail today. And buddy has called and called "drunk of course". His buddy has no place to stay and they want him to stay here. I told them both NO and No. A got mad a storm off to go drinkin with buddy. But before he left he said that I was a cold hearted...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

A lady in a meeting last week talked about how she hated the slogans when she first started AlAnon and thought they were trite, of course that was then. I had to laugh because I was the same way. How could a slogan or a little "chant" as I used to tease my EXABF ever solve or help my problems??...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Yesterday I was leaving work and a friend called me to tell me that my AH's roommate (we don't live together) called her husband to ask for help cause my AH was talking funny and unintelligeble. Of course I freaked and started crying and calling people to see who could go see what was going on. End of story...

maresie · maresie

Today one of my neighbors came up to me and revealed she is an animal lover just like me. I was really happy and my immediate response is to love bomb her with everything under the sun. Of course now I'm in recovery I don't love bomb anymore. I can't I know where that leads. I'm working hard to lead a life...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Dear All, Well after a year or so of thinking I didn't need Alanon, either the board or f2f, I humbly return to the rooms where I found understanding like no other. Face to face meetings and now online, I find friends are still here plugging away as before. I have to really committ to the recovery program...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity eith...

Diva · Diva

Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes. Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one ti...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I think I have detoxed, if you want to call it that! My A has been in recovery (inpatient) for 72 hours right now. It is wild! I thought he would leave, I would rejoyce and he'd get the help he needed and I'll get well. NOT...I had to go through a little process of my own. After three days of pulling mysel...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok well if you read yesterdays post you will all know the demons of yesterday... :) I would like to thank all that returned the favor and posted for me...Love All the ESH... Well today is the tell tail day, to see if the court system will yet again fail! But I guess that isn't up to me now is it? So got up, new th...

Tracy · Tracy

Met may A and softened when he said he is going to go to a meeting. However deep down I thought it was for my benefit as he knows I want him to attend aa so we are on the same prograame. On the day of the meeting I went to his house to give him a lift. We ended up having a really indepth coversation that got a lit...

confusedgirl22 · confusedgirl22

I've been going to alanon meetings which have been a great help (when I go). but I'm not actually living with activity now so I do qualify for alanon?? It's just my behaviour patterns I want to change but when I work the alanon steps they work perfectly. Alanon is good but a lot of people go on about alc...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted here in quite a while, but I do pop in and visit pretty often. Since my last posting, my husband has been in recovery. To recap the past year of my life: AH was sober for over 15 years, relapsed for about 5 or 6 years, went to rehab in 2007 and remained sober 3 months, relaps...

Jozie · Jozie

Well... Here we are again... Welp, today I got out of bed, felt pretty good, got up showered and got the boy movin for school, today was my day to volunteer up at my sons school I go up every wens. Mind ya I don't get to see my son, because the program I run is for the elementary, BUT since my neice & nephew a...

confusedgirl22 · confusedgirl22

My family role is the "scapegoat". I hate myself for assuming such a weak coping mechanism. Intellectually I understand that I am an adult child and in a way, its a relief to get some sort of diagnosis. I went to psychologists, counsellors, CBT therapists, psychiatrists...the lot. All th...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

My last post is here title lost and confused or something like that... Alright I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days. Probably not enough. I keep changing my mind on whether or not I want to stay. But as I REALLY think about it I really am waiting for him to decide if he is going to stop seein...

clara · clara

Daughter is supposed to go into hospital Thursday. She will not talk to me; I guess she is mad because I did not take her into my home. If I had, we would be no where near the idea of rehab. She would be in back bedroom drunk and I would be wondering what to do. Several years ago she worked in a cute little sho...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hey y'all! I need some advice/experience. My husband is in rehab. Going on right about 48 hours. I wasn't expecting him to call me for the first 5 days but that is what i get for thinking I know everything, because he called. And boy was he mad! His treatment is competely voluntary. And he has been...

AlaMom · AlaMom

It used to be that anytime I felt deep despair it had to do with one of the alcoholics in my life. We I no longer live with active alcoholism and in fact have lived in a house of recovery for 3 years. In the last 6 months a I have watched 2 of my children make self destructive decisions with little regard of th...

Shell44 · Shell44

My husband and I have had a huge fight and he has gone to his family to vent. He explained to his sister everything that has gone on and she thinks everything is my fault because i drove him to it. I did not make him drink I did not make him steal from me I did not make him start with cocain. He told her everyth...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH as you know is now in the west indies..Today I got a phone call from one of his customers (he is a builder), who I have met once socially. I explained that I was very sorry but the work he had promised he would do when he was there in January (just before he left me for good) wouldnt be getting done and I tol...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Went home last night, took a bubble bath and went to bed. Woke up and spent the rest of my awake time with my HP and buried in AlAnon literature, then back to sleep. Woke up still not feeling real well, then got the email from the ExABF about not adding my comment to his page for "no particular reaso...

helpme08 · helpme08

It's been a few months since I have written anything here. But I now feel that I can't do this alone and need to write this. My Diabetic AH has been losing control with his drinking for the last three weeks. He has always drank, but it's been worse the last three. Took off for a couple of hours three week...

Jozie · Jozie

Well I know by now "today" you are most likely thinking... What could have happened now.. We heard from her twice today... Well Thirds a charm my friends:) Or so they so... about an hour after my last post... My sons school called, and told me that he had fallen down a metal set of stairs and lan...

ddub · ddub

It is not easy getting an A to leave and I have not planned yet to leave with two teens struggling with mental health & school issures. I am following my path with help of sponsor, therapist, mostly hp and my own getting stronger slowly version of courage but it is exhausting and emotional and ha...

AnnieM · AnnieM

Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm 38, been married 18-1/2 years, 2 teenagers. My husbands drinking has been an issue for most of our marriage, but last May I finally sat down and told him that he had to take me seriously, that I had to have some peace in my life, and that the only way I could see...

maresie · maresie

Al anon has helped me to be a better friend. Last week a friend of mine (I do still have a few) had the most alarming news that her husband has leukemia. I've had a long long history with this friend of being in the Karpmans triangle all the time. We both worked at a really horrible dysfunctional office...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

First of all I would like to Thank you all for your responses to my earlier posts. There was a lot of ESH in those posts, so thank you very much. The EXABF sent me a response to my email where I asked him if there was a reason he decided not to post my comment. He responded with "no particular reason&qu...

maryam · maryam

So now i have finally left my situation with my ex b/f. I have moved out of state and now in Fl, I am finding i am less stressed but also once again had to leave a job, insurance and alot of material things. I am angry resentful and hurt that i have spent 8 yrs with this person, through prison, treatments, deto...

New Balance · New Balance

My husband of 12 years is a drug addict & sex addict. We have two children. He has been in rehab for the last 6 months. He relapsed in January with drugs and the other woman. He went into a 6 wk inpatient rehab and was released a couple of weeks ago. His mother has been very sick so he spent a week with her...

ddub · ddub

so I am trying to get past the accusation from AH that he stopped wanting to talk to me once my depression started 10 yrs ago. aarrrrgh, I didn't take this well as we all have triggers. I feel I was diagnosed and had meds started then because of all the stress from living with an A that triggered the de...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

(((((Hugs))))) to Everyone. How do we function with so much pain? I am amazed by all of you and in myself, that we can get up every morning & do the things we must, take care of our families, hold jobs and run our homes. We go through our day to day duties, if people could just see inside our minds and our...

buick23 · buick23

This is my best outlet to vent. I caught my bf on a porn site that shows local women. I confronted him about it and he denied going on there (of course). Turned it all around on me (as always). He's said hurtful things. The next day he took the 2nd computer (where the site was saved) out of the house, said he wa...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

The psychologist that I have seen for quite awhile ended our last session with this statement: "There's a fine line between a codependent and a masochist." He tends to end our sessions with some food for thought. He knows I'm a deep thinker. Any thoughts?

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Made it there early as we always do.. I have issues yet with being late:)... My SIL drove and she too does not like running late... So was a little strange as we had an idea, but was not sure, were it was exactly bacause it was in the hospital... SOOOO glad that I went... Was a Newbie there, and she was...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after hearing from my sponsor today and reading the replies to my post I "came down" a bit from my obsessing high:). I am not feeling well at all today and was overburdened at work from the minute I came in the door because I had my usual work to do, plus my boss took off so I had to do her list a...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

This is the first time I have posted on here. I have replied to a couple others. I am pretty new to Alanon. I joined the chat meetings in December, but never really started working the program till about a month ago. And I think the past month I have done very well. My boyfriend is my A. We have a son together....

babysteps · babysteps

I just went back and read all of the topics I have started since I found this board in 2006. It is very interesting to see the progression in myself from a person willing to do anything to help the A in my life to someone willing to do anything to help myself, because I am the only person I can actually affect!...

maresie · maresie

My birthday is coming up in 2 months and coincides with the possible end of my tenure with a wondeful intern for counselling who I have had a lot of success with. My normal approach to birthdays is to bury my head and try not to deal with it. I know how far I got doing that at Christmas. I have also, like man...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! Gratefully I got to my morning home group meeting next to the ocean and gosh I had not realized how much HP can do in such a short time and how much my group members (80+ of them) can change and learn in the same small piece of life. One of my fellow brothers shared his new awarenesses about a &...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Went to a new F2F meeting last night, and believe genuinely that that is where I was supposed to be. Meetings was wonderful and so nice to meet some new faces and get myself "recharged" for the week ahead. Have spoken off and on to EXABF since our date Friday and have to say I am in a place wit...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well today is one of those "off" days we all have and I am trying to remember that. Woke up feeling like I was hit with a bus and still exhausted, so I am sure that is not helping. EXABF took off sick yesterday so I sent him a get well comment to his Myspace page. He and I met on Myspace, and it is a sen...

meagain · meagain

I wrote a few days aga about my youngest son always calling me. Of course he always was good at calling me...but now there's no work, and the calls are really getting to me! He called a few days ago to get the phone # of #2 son--to see if he can help him with building houses etc...well # 2 son also has no work!!...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have never had a slow moving, normal, healthy relationship and I have NO idea how to go about it, what it's supposed to look like and how to control the thing in my heart and brain that drives me into this obsessiveness. I can see how this is about control. I want to MAKE him keep loving me, do what I want h...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well I got an email from the EXABF this am, saying that he had a nice time too and that he wouldn't date anyone else until we decided what we are going to do besides that he just wants to keep it "light" and won't be consumed again by what we should or should not do or the implications of it as that i...

Grandma Deb · Grandma Deb

I guess I just introduce myself. I'm a 55 yr old woman, married for 34 years to the same man. six kids, plus some fosters. You can imagine this man is quite wonderful, really. There isn't anything he won't do for others. He was a wonderful father and a very good husband, in his way. He provided for us a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Is letting go giving up? Feeling really alone today (Preview) Not sure what it is but today I just feel overwelming alone, for the first time in awhile. I think a lot of it may be the situation with EXABF, (and my son leaving for camp for a week is taking a toll too). I haven't been handling that well and have not been able to achieve the detachment that I know I need to h...	shellyj123	4	801	Mar 28, 2009 by DreamsOver
	Flooded, Retreat Canceled, Hubby Checked out of Rehab (Preview) Well, GOD knows what is right for me. I think this is just another test that I have to pass. Yes, my garage and utility room have 3 inches of water and they are expecting more rain in about 4 hours. But I'm prepared, and I already put in my flood claim with my insurance company. I've packed my important...	Sincerely	14	613	Mar 28, 2009 by wp
	OMG..when it rains..it floods (really, house flooded) (Preview) OMG, my dog was trying to tell me that this was going to be bad last night. my garage is flooded. one inch more and it will be in my house. i'm in south louisiana, i've seen flooding like this, but never in my home. i'm gonna get my important papers and my photos and i am out of here. i'll keep you posted. ...	Sincerely	8	857	Mar 28, 2009 by wp
	The glorious gift of being able to mind your own business... (Preview) I spent some time with a long time friend over the past week. We've been friends nearly 15 years. She's wonderful. And what she's really really good at is minding her own business. She has a solid marriage, to a man who is not an A. They have a solid foundation and for the most part a very happy marriage...	Rora	6	3299	Mar 28, 2009 by maresie
	AH actively looking for 'love connection' (Preview) The xxxx xxxx. Except that he doesn't know that I know. He was clever enough to even leave his usernames and passwords written down for me. I would be concerned for the marriage (if I thought that we really have one left), and if I hadn't googled the sites to learn that they are scams that want to lure him i...	deserve_more	8	778	Mar 28, 2009 by maresie
	back to reality (Preview) I am trying to prepare for the summer and it looks like a long hard one for me. I'm trying to get some desperately needed dental work done as well as get new glasses. For me that means putting my head down and making that the focus. I'd love to hare some time off, relax and enjoy the scenery but my teeth are no...	maresie	4	314	Mar 28, 2009 by maresie
	new at this.... (Preview) Hello, this is all fairly new to me. I found out a few weeks ago that my husband is addicted to cocaine and havnig a problem with alcohol as well. He stayed in a Rehab here in Houston, Texas for 16 days, he is now doing PHP (partial hospitalization) and living with his father at night. Its hard on me. I want hi...	superwoman_311	7	496	Mar 28, 2009 by Tiger2006
	Video Record a drunk! (Preview) Hello everyone, this is my first visit and I would like some direction. My husband is a very serious drinker, starts first thing in the morning, and is drunk about 5 days a week. He lost is driving license when he went to pick up our daughters from school! He drinks at work and as we work together in our o...	perrier	4	582	Mar 28, 2009 by perrier
	in need (Preview) I am still not connecting with anyone in the f2f meetings...I am in need of a sponsor. I am looking for a female...who has worked the steps before. I would like someone who is a qualifier because of a spouse and/or an adult child of an A parent. I have been working the steps alone this time round...on St...	brightmommy	2	364	Mar 28, 2009 by brightmommy
	Update on A and his drinkin buddy (Preview) A and his buddy came back here around 3 a.m. I had the door locked and WOULD NOT let them in. They yelled and scream so I called the law. When they got here A and his buddy went to jail. Still there for all I know. A tried to call me collect but I fixed it where I can't get calls from jail. Had a good day, wen...	Annie69	5	477	Mar 28, 2009 by Jean4444
	& So the Disappointment continues... :+( (Preview) My mother just stop'd by to let me know the news of Abrothers Court day.... I can not stand the worthless people that they have working in our court systems... I don't know why We even pay their salary's... THEY LET HIM GO!!! AGAIN... I mean lets see... He is 29 yrs old, he has a record to date of (4) DWI's (GU...	Jozie	3	391	Mar 28, 2009 by Heather72
	Pick'n Back Up (Preview) Ok... So been doing some thinkin on the whole Abrother thing, sat down with my Mom yesterday and told her what I have been telling all of you..June 1st is D-Day... The Final finally of it all... The day I am No Longer responsible for ANY A's in my family... That is the day that all my responsibilty to my Afat...	Jozie	6	560	Mar 27, 2009 by Rora
	would you rather......? (Preview) Hi Friends, I will be getting a root canal in the morning. Blech!! A consequence of what I believe to be the direct result of the self-neglect that came from the disease of co-dependency. It had been 2.5 yrs since I went to the dentist. Unbelievable. I used to go every 6 months. I love my teeth. I found out I...	Loupiness	9	506	Mar 27, 2009 by Loupiness
	Labels never helped me much (Preview) I "borrowed" the title of this post from a response from Glad Lee the other day, but it got me to thinking.... I don't like "labels", for us, or others, as it tends to lump too many people/personalities/circumstances as one.... Two of the really common ones that we see on this b...	canadianguy	11	729	Mar 27, 2009 by confusedgirl22
	Not even sure what to title this? (Preview) Alright I have never said this to anyone because I have never really thought of it. I think it's kind of part of step 4. I posted on here the last couple days about my A cheating and staying with this girl...I have been up and down and thinking A LOT. Here is what I have come up with. I was always afraid to have a...	Melissa21	9	502	Mar 27, 2009 by maresie
	A and his drinkin buddy (Preview) My A has a drinkin buddy that just got out of jail today. And buddy has called and called "drunk of course". His buddy has no place to stay and they want him to stay here. I told them both NO and No. A got mad a storm off to go drinkin with buddy. But before he left he said that I was a cold hearted...	Annie69	10	495	Mar 27, 2009 by Jerry F
	Easy does it~ How I used to hate those slogans:) (Preview) A lady in a meeting last week talked about how she hated the slogans when she first started AlAnon and thought they were trite, of course that was then. I had to laugh because I was the same way. How could a slogan or a little "chant" as I used to tease my EXABF ever solve or help my problems??...	shellyj123	3	508	Mar 27, 2009 by glad lee
	Scared to death and confused (Preview) Yesterday I was leaving work and a friend called me to tell me that my AH's roommate (we don't live together) called her husband to ask for help cause my AH was talking funny and unintelligeble. Of course I freaked and started crying and calling people to see who could go see what was going on. End of story...	Priscilla83	6	622	Mar 27, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Being codependent is the immediate response (Preview) Today one of my neighbors came up to me and revealed she is an animal lover just like me. I was really happy and my immediate response is to love bomb her with everything under the sun. Of course now I'm in recovery I don't love bomb anymore. I can't I know where that leads. I'm working hard to lead a life...	maresie	4	521	Mar 26, 2009 by java
	Humble comeback (Preview) Dear All, Well after a year or so of thinking I didn't need Alanon, either the board or f2f, I humbly return to the rooms where I found understanding like no other. Face to face meetings and now online, I find friends are still here plugging away as before. I have to really committ to the recovery program...	silver brumby	8	620	Mar 26, 2009 by Peggy7
	Has anyone seen my self esteem? Regaining focus....... (Preview) Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity eith...	shellyj123	2	504	Mar 26, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Another broken promise...I have run out of fingers and toes... (Preview) Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes. Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one ti...	Diva	10	655	Mar 26, 2009 by helpme08
	Detoxing from My A Hubby (Preview) I think I have detoxed, if you want to call it that! My A has been in recovery (inpatient) for 72 hours right now. It is wild! I thought he would leave, I would rejoyce and he'd get the help he needed and I'll get well. NOT...I had to go through a little process of my own. After three days of pulling mysel...	Sincerely	4	636	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	How Ironic... HP Thanks... (Preview) Ok well if you read yesterdays post you will all know the demons of yesterday... :) I would like to thank all that returned the favor and posted for me...Love All the ESH... Well today is the tell tail day, to see if the court system will yet again fail! But I guess that isn't up to me now is it? So got up, new th...	Jozie	1	560	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	individual (Preview) Met may A and softened when he said he is going to go to a meeting. However deep down I thought it was for my benefit as he knows I want him to attend aa so we are on the same prograame. On the day of the meeting I went to his house to give him a lift. We ended up having a really indepth coversation that got a lit...	Tracy	1	550	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	alanon v aca-which is better? (Preview) I've been going to alanon meetings which have been a great help (when I go). but I'm not actually living with activity now so I do qualify for alanon?? It's just my behaviour patterns I want to change but when I work the alanon steps they work perfectly. Alanon is good but a lot of people go on about alc...	confusedgirl22	4	3425	Mar 26, 2009 by confusedgirl22
	Going away for a long weekend - a little stressed - some ESH please (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted here in quite a while, but I do pop in and visit pretty often. Since my last posting, my husband has been in recovery. To recap the past year of my life: AH was sober for over 15 years, relapsed for about 5 or 6 years, went to rehab in 2007 and remained sober 3 months, relaps...	queenie105	5	465	Mar 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	Remind me to Let Go & Let God :( (Preview) Well... Here we are again... Welp, today I got out of bed, felt pretty good, got up showered and got the boy movin for school, today was my day to volunteer up at my sons school I go up every wens. Mind ya I don't get to see my son, because the program I run is for the elementary, BUT since my neice & nephew a...	Jozie	3	637	Mar 26, 2009 by shellyj123
	Resistance (Preview) My family role is the "scapegoat". I hate myself for assuming such a weak coping mechanism. Intellectually I understand that I am an adult child and in a way, its a relief to get some sort of diagnosis. I went to psychologists, counsellors, CBT therapists, psychiatrists...the lot. All th...	confusedgirl22	3	570	Mar 25, 2009 by canadianguy
	Update? (Preview) My last post is here title lost and confused or something like that... Alright I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days. Probably not enough. I keep changing my mind on whether or not I want to stay. But as I REALLY think about it I really am waiting for him to decide if he is going to stop seein...	Melissa21	6	498	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	Another scared, lonely and sleepless night coming on (Preview) Daughter is supposed to go into hospital Thursday. She will not talk to me; I guess she is mad because I did not take her into my home. If I had, we would be no where near the idea of rehab. She would be in back bedroom drunk and I would be wondering what to do. Several years ago she worked in a cute little sho...	clara	6	387	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	I don't know if I am saying the right things!!! ??? (Preview) Hey y'all! I need some advice/experience. My husband is in rehab. Going on right about 48 hours. I wasn't expecting him to call me for the first 5 days but that is what i get for thinking I know everything, because he called. And boy was he mad! His treatment is competely voluntary. And he has been...	Sincerely	5	562	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	Despair is not alway alcohol related... (Preview) It used to be that anytime I felt deep despair it had to do with one of the alcoholics in my life. We I no longer live with active alcoholism and in fact have lived in a house of recovery for 3 years. In the last 6 months a I have watched 2 of my children make self destructive decisions with little regard of th...	AlaMom	4	863	Mar 25, 2009 by hotrod
	I hate her!!! (Preview) My husband and I have had a huge fight and he has gone to his family to vent. He explained to his sister everything that has gone on and she thinks everything is my fault because i drove him to it. I did not make him drink I did not make him steal from me I did not make him start with cocain. He told her everyth...	Shell44	11	698	Mar 25, 2009 by Mobirdie
	Things were worse than I knew (Preview) My AH as you know is now in the west indies..Today I got a phone call from one of his customers (he is a builder), who I have met once socially. I explained that I was very sorry but the work he had promised he would do when he was there in January (just before he left me for good) wouldnt be getting done and I tol...	Lilly Burn	5	454	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Calmer but still struggling some with program issues~ (Preview) Went home last night, took a bubble bath and went to bed. Woke up and spent the rest of my awake time with my HP and buried in AlAnon literature, then back to sleep. Woke up still not feeling real well, then got the email from the ExABF about not adding my comment to his page for "no particular reaso...	shellyj123	4	462	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Need help today! Long story.... (Preview) It's been a few months since I have written anything here. But I now feel that I can't do this alone and need to write this. My Diabetic AH has been losing control with his drinking for the last three weeks. He has always drank, but it's been worse the last three. Took off for a couple of hours three week...	helpme08	4	778	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Proof of Change.... (Preview) Well I know by now "today" you are most likely thinking... What could have happened now.. We heard from her twice today... Well Thirds a charm my friends:) Or so they so... about an hour after my last post... My sons school called, and told me that he had fallen down a metal set of stairs and lan...	Jozie	7	593	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	update, some venting, maybe ok (Preview) It is not easy getting an A to leave and I have not planned yet to leave with two teens struggling with mental health & school issures. I am following my path with help of sponsor, therapist, mostly hp and my own getting stronger slowly version of courage but it is exhausting and emotional and ha...	ddub	1	382	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	new here with questions (Preview) Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm 38, been married 18-1/2 years, 2 teenagers. My husbands drinking has been an issue for most of our marriage, but last May I finally sat down and told him that he had to take me seriously, that I had to have some peace in my life, and that the only way I could see...	AnnieM	5	558	Mar 25, 2009 by aunitedway
	Being a better friend (Preview) Al anon has helped me to be a better friend. Last week a friend of mine (I do still have a few) had the most alarming news that her husband has leukemia. I've had a long long history with this friend of being in the Karpmans triangle all the time. We both worked at a really horrible dysfunctional office...	maresie	3	424	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	TRYING soooooo hard NOT to react!!!! (Preview) First of all I would like to Thank you all for your responses to my earlier posts. There was a lot of ESH in those posts, so thank you very much. The EXABF sent me a response to my email where I asked him if there was a reason he decided not to post my comment. He responded with "no particular reason&qu...	shellyj123	3	492	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	update alcoholic b/f (Preview) So now i have finally left my situation with my ex b/f. I have moved out of state and now in Fl, I am finding i am less stressed but also once again had to leave a job, insurance and alot of material things. I am angry resentful and hurt that i have spent 8 yrs with this person, through prison, treatments, deto...	maryam	3	495	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Need advice support & encouragement (Preview) My husband of 12 years is a drug addict & sex addict. We have two children. He has been in rehab for the last 6 months. He relapsed in January with drugs and the other woman. He went into a 6 wk inpatient rehab and was released a couple of weeks ago. His mother has been very sick so he spent a week with her...	New Balance	9	972	Mar 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	stuck (Preview) so I am trying to get past the accusation from AH that he stopped wanting to talk to me once my depression started 10 yrs ago. aarrrrgh, I didn't take this well as we all have triggers. I feel I was diagnosed and had meds started then because of all the stress from living with an A that triggered the de...	ddub	1	402	Mar 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	Just Want To Talk...... (Preview) (((((Hugs))))) to Everyone. How do we function with so much pain? I am amazed by all of you and in myself, that we can get up every morning & do the things we must, take care of our families, hold jobs and run our homes. We go through our day to day duties, if people could just see inside our minds and our...	DreamsOver	6	535	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	upset (again) (Preview) This is my best outlet to vent. I caught my bf on a porn site that shows local women. I confronted him about it and he denied going on there (of course). Turned it all around on me (as always). He's said hurtful things. The next day he took the 2nd computer (where the site was saved) out of the house, said he wa...	buick23	3	534	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	Codependent vs Masochist (Preview) The psychologist that I have seen for quite awhile ended our last session with this statement: "There's a fine line between a codependent and a masochist." He tends to end our sessions with some food for thought. He knows I'm a deep thinker. Any thoughts?	GailMichelle	10	4547	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	New Meeting went Well :) (Preview) Welp... Made it there early as we always do.. I have issues yet with being late:)... My SIL drove and she too does not like running late... So was a little strange as we had an idea, but was not sure, were it was exactly bacause it was in the hospital... SOOOO glad that I went... Was a Newbie there, and she was...	Jozie	2	401	Mar 24, 2009 by Sincerely
	Trying to start over and take it slow with a past love~Feeling Confused, and incompetant. (Preview) Well after hearing from my sponsor today and reading the replies to my post I "came down" a bit from my obsessing high:). I am not feeling well at all today and was overburdened at work from the minute I came in the door because I had my usual work to do, plus my boss took off so I had to do her list a...	shellyj123	3	967	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'm lost and confused (Preview) This is the first time I have posted on here. I have replied to a couple others. I am pretty new to Alanon. I joined the chat meetings in December, but never really started working the program till about a month ago. And I think the past month I have done very well. My boyfriend is my A. We have a son together....	Melissa21	11	1243	Mar 24, 2009 by Sincerely
	Old Posts (Preview) I just went back and read all of the topics I have started since I found this board in 2006. It is very interesting to see the progression in myself from a person willing to do anything to help the A in my life to someone willing to do anything to help myself, because I am the only person I can actually affect!...	babysteps	3	575	Mar 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	Birthdays oh those special occasions! (Preview) My birthday is coming up in 2 months and coincides with the possible end of my tenure with a wondeful intern for counselling who I have had a lot of success with. My normal approach to birthdays is to bury my head and try not to deal with it. I know how far I got doing that at Christmas. I have also, like man...	maresie	4	879	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Open minded awarenesses... (Preview) Aloha Family!! Gratefully I got to my morning home group meeting next to the ocean and gosh I had not realized how much HP can do in such a short time and how much my group members (80+ of them) can change and learn in the same small piece of life. One of my fellow brothers shared his new awarenesses about a &...	Jerry F	4	916	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Easy does it~trying not to become the caboose again:) (Preview) Went to a new F2F meeting last night, and believe genuinely that that is where I was supposed to be. Meetings was wonderful and so nice to meet some new faces and get myself "recharged" for the week ahead. Have spoken off and on to EXABF since our date Friday and have to say I am in a place wit...	shellyj123	3	459	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	I can feel the obsessing coming on fast!!!!-Please help with some ESH!!!! (Preview) Well today is one of those "off" days we all have and I am trying to remember that. Woke up feeling like I was hit with a bus and still exhausted, so I am sure that is not helping. EXABF took off sick yesterday so I sent him a get well comment to his Myspace page. He and I met on Myspace, and it is a sen...	shellyj123	5	722	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	another call to "Mom" (Preview) I wrote a few days aga about my youngest son always calling me. Of course he always was good at calling me...but now there's no work, and the calls are really getting to me! He called a few days ago to get the phone # of #2 son--to see if he can help him with building houses etc...well # 2 son also has no work!!...	meagain	3	545	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	I guess the problem is... (Preview) I have never had a slow moving, normal, healthy relationship and I have NO idea how to go about it, what it's supposed to look like and how to control the thing in my heart and brain that drives me into this obsessiveness. I can see how this is about control. I want to MAKE him keep loving me, do what I want h...	carolinagirl	7	715	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Boundary setting?? (Preview) Well I got an email from the EXABF this am, saying that he had a nice time too and that he wouldn't date anyone else until we decided what we are going to do besides that he just wants to keep it "light" and won't be consumed again by what we should or should not do or the implications of it as that i...	shellyj123	2	588	Mar 24, 2009 by Diva
	Good Lord how do I start? (Preview) I guess I just introduce myself. I'm a 55 yr old woman, married for 34 years to the same man. six kids, plus some fosters. You can imagine this man is quite wonderful, really. There isn't anything he won't do for others. He was a wonderful father and a very good husband, in his way. He provided for us a...	Grandma Deb	6	721	Mar 24, 2009 by Diva
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.