Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity eith...

Diva · Diva

Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes. Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one ti...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I think I have detoxed, if you want to call it that! My A has been in recovery (inpatient) for 72 hours right now. It is wild! I thought he would leave, I would rejoyce and he'd get the help he needed and I'll get well. NOT...I had to go through a little process of my own. After three days of pulling mysel...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok well if you read yesterdays post you will all know the demons of yesterday... :) I would like to thank all that returned the favor and posted for me...Love All the ESH... Well today is the tell tail day, to see if the court system will yet again fail! But I guess that isn't up to me now is it? So got up, new th...

Tracy · Tracy

Met may A and softened when he said he is going to go to a meeting. However deep down I thought it was for my benefit as he knows I want him to attend aa so we are on the same prograame. On the day of the meeting I went to his house to give him a lift. We ended up having a really indepth coversation that got a lit...

confusedgirl22 · confusedgirl22

I've been going to alanon meetings which have been a great help (when I go). but I'm not actually living with activity now so I do qualify for alanon?? It's just my behaviour patterns I want to change but when I work the alanon steps they work perfectly. Alanon is good but a lot of people go on about alc...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted here in quite a while, but I do pop in and visit pretty often. Since my last posting, my husband has been in recovery. To recap the past year of my life: AH was sober for over 15 years, relapsed for about 5 or 6 years, went to rehab in 2007 and remained sober 3 months, relaps...

Jozie · Jozie

Well... Here we are again... Welp, today I got out of bed, felt pretty good, got up showered and got the boy movin for school, today was my day to volunteer up at my sons school I go up every wens. Mind ya I don't get to see my son, because the program I run is for the elementary, BUT since my neice & nephew a...

confusedgirl22 · confusedgirl22

My family role is the "scapegoat". I hate myself for assuming such a weak coping mechanism. Intellectually I understand that I am an adult child and in a way, its a relief to get some sort of diagnosis. I went to psychologists, counsellors, CBT therapists, psychiatrists...the lot. All th...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

My last post is here title lost and confused or something like that... Alright I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days. Probably not enough. I keep changing my mind on whether or not I want to stay. But as I REALLY think about it I really am waiting for him to decide if he is going to stop seein...

clara · clara

Daughter is supposed to go into hospital Thursday. She will not talk to me; I guess she is mad because I did not take her into my home. If I had, we would be no where near the idea of rehab. She would be in back bedroom drunk and I would be wondering what to do. Several years ago she worked in a cute little sho...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hey y'all! I need some advice/experience. My husband is in rehab. Going on right about 48 hours. I wasn't expecting him to call me for the first 5 days but that is what i get for thinking I know everything, because he called. And boy was he mad! His treatment is competely voluntary. And he has been...

AlaMom · AlaMom

It used to be that anytime I felt deep despair it had to do with one of the alcoholics in my life. We I no longer live with active alcoholism and in fact have lived in a house of recovery for 3 years. In the last 6 months a I have watched 2 of my children make self destructive decisions with little regard of th...

Shell44 · Shell44

My husband and I have had a huge fight and he has gone to his family to vent. He explained to his sister everything that has gone on and she thinks everything is my fault because i drove him to it. I did not make him drink I did not make him steal from me I did not make him start with cocain. He told her everyth...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH as you know is now in the west indies..Today I got a phone call from one of his customers (he is a builder), who I have met once socially. I explained that I was very sorry but the work he had promised he would do when he was there in January (just before he left me for good) wouldnt be getting done and I tol...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Went home last night, took a bubble bath and went to bed. Woke up and spent the rest of my awake time with my HP and buried in AlAnon literature, then back to sleep. Woke up still not feeling real well, then got the email from the ExABF about not adding my comment to his page for "no particular reaso...

helpme08 · helpme08

It's been a few months since I have written anything here. But I now feel that I can't do this alone and need to write this. My Diabetic AH has been losing control with his drinking for the last three weeks. He has always drank, but it's been worse the last three. Took off for a couple of hours three week...

Jozie · Jozie

Well I know by now "today" you are most likely thinking... What could have happened now.. We heard from her twice today... Well Thirds a charm my friends:) Or so they so... about an hour after my last post... My sons school called, and told me that he had fallen down a metal set of stairs and lan...

ddub · ddub

It is not easy getting an A to leave and I have not planned yet to leave with two teens struggling with mental health & school issures. I am following my path with help of sponsor, therapist, mostly hp and my own getting stronger slowly version of courage but it is exhausting and emotional and ha...

AnnieM · AnnieM

Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm 38, been married 18-1/2 years, 2 teenagers. My husbands drinking has been an issue for most of our marriage, but last May I finally sat down and told him that he had to take me seriously, that I had to have some peace in my life, and that the only way I could see...

maresie · maresie

Al anon has helped me to be a better friend. Last week a friend of mine (I do still have a few) had the most alarming news that her husband has leukemia. I've had a long long history with this friend of being in the Karpmans triangle all the time. We both worked at a really horrible dysfunctional office...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

First of all I would like to Thank you all for your responses to my earlier posts. There was a lot of ESH in those posts, so thank you very much. The EXABF sent me a response to my email where I asked him if there was a reason he decided not to post my comment. He responded with "no particular reason&qu...

maryam · maryam

So now i have finally left my situation with my ex b/f. I have moved out of state and now in Fl, I am finding i am less stressed but also once again had to leave a job, insurance and alot of material things. I am angry resentful and hurt that i have spent 8 yrs with this person, through prison, treatments, deto...

New Balance · New Balance

My husband of 12 years is a drug addict & sex addict. We have two children. He has been in rehab for the last 6 months. He relapsed in January with drugs and the other woman. He went into a 6 wk inpatient rehab and was released a couple of weeks ago. His mother has been very sick so he spent a week with her...

ddub · ddub

so I am trying to get past the accusation from AH that he stopped wanting to talk to me once my depression started 10 yrs ago. aarrrrgh, I didn't take this well as we all have triggers. I feel I was diagnosed and had meds started then because of all the stress from living with an A that triggered the de...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

(((((Hugs))))) to Everyone. How do we function with so much pain? I am amazed by all of you and in myself, that we can get up every morning & do the things we must, take care of our families, hold jobs and run our homes. We go through our day to day duties, if people could just see inside our minds and our...

buick23 · buick23

This is my best outlet to vent. I caught my bf on a porn site that shows local women. I confronted him about it and he denied going on there (of course). Turned it all around on me (as always). He's said hurtful things. The next day he took the 2nd computer (where the site was saved) out of the house, said he wa...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

The psychologist that I have seen for quite awhile ended our last session with this statement: "There's a fine line between a codependent and a masochist." He tends to end our sessions with some food for thought. He knows I'm a deep thinker. Any thoughts?

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Made it there early as we always do.. I have issues yet with being late:)... My SIL drove and she too does not like running late... So was a little strange as we had an idea, but was not sure, were it was exactly bacause it was in the hospital... SOOOO glad that I went... Was a Newbie there, and she was...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after hearing from my sponsor today and reading the replies to my post I "came down" a bit from my obsessing high:). I am not feeling well at all today and was overburdened at work from the minute I came in the door because I had my usual work to do, plus my boss took off so I had to do her list a...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

This is the first time I have posted on here. I have replied to a couple others. I am pretty new to Alanon. I joined the chat meetings in December, but never really started working the program till about a month ago. And I think the past month I have done very well. My boyfriend is my A. We have a son together....

babysteps · babysteps

I just went back and read all of the topics I have started since I found this board in 2006. It is very interesting to see the progression in myself from a person willing to do anything to help the A in my life to someone willing to do anything to help myself, because I am the only person I can actually affect!...

maresie · maresie

My birthday is coming up in 2 months and coincides with the possible end of my tenure with a wondeful intern for counselling who I have had a lot of success with. My normal approach to birthdays is to bury my head and try not to deal with it. I know how far I got doing that at Christmas. I have also, like man...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! Gratefully I got to my morning home group meeting next to the ocean and gosh I had not realized how much HP can do in such a short time and how much my group members (80+ of them) can change and learn in the same small piece of life. One of my fellow brothers shared his new awarenesses about a &...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Went to a new F2F meeting last night, and believe genuinely that that is where I was supposed to be. Meetings was wonderful and so nice to meet some new faces and get myself "recharged" for the week ahead. Have spoken off and on to EXABF since our date Friday and have to say I am in a place wit...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well today is one of those "off" days we all have and I am trying to remember that. Woke up feeling like I was hit with a bus and still exhausted, so I am sure that is not helping. EXABF took off sick yesterday so I sent him a get well comment to his Myspace page. He and I met on Myspace, and it is a sen...

meagain · meagain

I wrote a few days aga about my youngest son always calling me. Of course he always was good at calling me...but now there's no work, and the calls are really getting to me! He called a few days ago to get the phone # of #2 son--to see if he can help him with building houses etc...well # 2 son also has no work!!...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have never had a slow moving, normal, healthy relationship and I have NO idea how to go about it, what it's supposed to look like and how to control the thing in my heart and brain that drives me into this obsessiveness. I can see how this is about control. I want to MAKE him keep loving me, do what I want h...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well I got an email from the EXABF this am, saying that he had a nice time too and that he wouldn't date anyone else until we decided what we are going to do besides that he just wants to keep it "light" and won't be consumed again by what we should or should not do or the implications of it as that i...

Grandma Deb · Grandma Deb

I guess I just introduce myself. I'm a 55 yr old woman, married for 34 years to the same man. six kids, plus some fosters. You can imagine this man is quite wonderful, really. There isn't anything he won't do for others. He was a wonderful father and a very good husband, in his way. He provided for us a...

deserve_more · deserve_more

The disease has really taken control - at least many cancers are curable or fought into remission. AH does nothing but drink around the clock, and doesn't seem to think that's wrong. As long as I don't confront him, any words we exchange are about the weather or 'look how cute the dog/cat is'. If I dare ev...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Yesterday I went to my home group meeting- sundays at 9AM. There was a woman there I had not seen before. She was an old timer and in both programs. I really loved what she said when it was time to share. I went up to her and told her so and gave her my card with my phone numbers on it. She gave me hers. She c...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Son has started smoking and drinking aged 15, being very difficult and it is turning into an intolerable situation, am barely getting by with it, as he is quite abusive, send on your prayers please, I need to get things sorted,

wjwcalifgirl · wjwcalifgirl

last night was a long long night for me. Started about 2 pm in the afternoon when my abf told me his friend ( one and only friend he has) was comming by. Now I have no problem with his friend nice guy. Well his friend stopped by and picked up some beer and scotch. ( friend does not drink scotch - and knows tha...

clara · clara

Yesterday I told AD she could not come here. This was her last option and it did not work out as she had hoped it would. So, I guess she see rock bottom from where she was at. A gentleman friend of her family is making phone calls and her blank, blank, blank, husband is finally willing to let go of some of hi...

JS · JS

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727&p=3&topicID=24935869

Jozie · Jozie

Well got up this morning did my reading, and put out a post, and thought... WHELP... Time to get the ball rolling on finish off "what I can" of what has to be paid off and done my June with it comes to Desease Afathers belongs... Wanted to get a jump on things...Soooo paid off the water bill, and...

Ilovemydaughter · Ilovemydaughter

My daughter is an AH and drug addict. She is spiraling out of control. I believe that death may be in her near future as it seems like this may be her only rock bottom. I am frustrated because everyone tells me .. there's nothing I can do. She is 21 years old and has been to rehab .. attended AA .. had a spon...

clara · clara

I did want I have been going to Al-Anon for and coming to this board. I phoned daughter and told her she could not come here. I do not think she was shocked. I think she saw it coming. She said Brad was sending the divorce papers to our house. I will "return to sender". I am completely ou...

lucky · lucky

I don't have much experience with addiction. My xabf is my son's father, and is the only a in my life, to my knowledge. I recently broke it off, for the billionth time. I have been along for the ride, for the most part, and didn't really recognize how much it affected ME until I was pregnant. I started to rea...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi all... I am try'n out a New F2F tonight, kind of excited, because if all goes well then I know I can go there this summer when I wont be able to get to my "home" F2F... So crossing my fingers for a good night... I was babysitn Fri. so didn't get to get to my usual one, so this worked out perfect f...

clara · clara

I am the person that wondered if Al-Anon would kick me out for not following through on my promises. Well, this has probably been one of the worse days of my life. I called my AD and told her she could under no circumstances come to our house. She is now completely out of options. I have cried a river of te...

Tracy · Tracy

Met my Ab in a local park I was feeling so strong knew he was not going to change my mind he told he he loved me didnt want to loose me. told me it was mad that I was running from him just as he is finally ready to look at himself. to cut a long story short he said he wants to go to aa but has needed time to accept his p...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

After a very low day on Friday, all day in bed nearly, feeling desparately low...which is when I last posted, Saturday I started my new very small part time job at a lovely womenswear designer shop in town working with my friend. Had a good day, came home tired, ate (thats something thats coming back aft...

Holly09 · Holly09

I haven't posted here but once, I've been so busy with the kids and finally going to the gym (doing something for myself). After almost 7 years with my A boyfriend I feel like I'm in this relationship by myself most of the time. Part of it is because he works 2nd shift and 6-7 days a week, but when he is home...

Tracy · Tracy

I think I have finally accepted that I carnt change, fix or make over my boyfriend. for 4 years I have been insanly focusing on his life trying to turn him into another person. HE IS WHO HE IS ACCEPT IT he does have probs with drnk nothing I can do. so what does this leave me with I dont want a lifelike this. I d...

ollie · ollie

hi mip family. my A has been in hospital for 4 days detoxing,he seems alot more focused. he is promising to go to AA. this is his first time. has anyone had any success with this. i know better than to build up any kind of hope. i was just wondering. love to you all ollie x

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I noticed that this weekend I have been somewhat distant from my program and HP (of course I have a tendancy to be a perfectionist in everything I do-Imagine that!:)) Part I'm sure has been because I didn't make my Friday night home meeting, part from not feeling well, and part I'm sure due to recent c...

clara · clara

I was on the phone with my sister and in near hysterics over AD. For the past 3 days daughter has been promising(threatening) to come to our house. I work myself up in a frenzy and then she does not show. Tomorrow I will call her before church and tell not to bother. Then I will throw myself upon the alte...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have found that in my new relationship I feel very needy. It's complicated because I work days and he works nights and he still lives with his parents (yes I know I know... he's young...) so that complicates things too. In the past I always rushed into relationships and then we were glued together af...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Has anyone seen my self esteem? Regaining focus....... (Preview) Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity eith...	shellyj123	2	482	Mar 26, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Another broken promise...I have run out of fingers and toes... (Preview) Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes. Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one ti...	Diva	10	633	Mar 26, 2009 by helpme08
	Detoxing from My A Hubby (Preview) I think I have detoxed, if you want to call it that! My A has been in recovery (inpatient) for 72 hours right now. It is wild! I thought he would leave, I would rejoyce and he'd get the help he needed and I'll get well. NOT...I had to go through a little process of my own. After three days of pulling mysel...	Sincerely	4	617	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	How Ironic... HP Thanks... (Preview) Ok well if you read yesterdays post you will all know the demons of yesterday... :) I would like to thank all that returned the favor and posted for me...Love All the ESH... Well today is the tell tail day, to see if the court system will yet again fail! But I guess that isn't up to me now is it? So got up, new th...	Jozie	1	542	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	individual (Preview) Met may A and softened when he said he is going to go to a meeting. However deep down I thought it was for my benefit as he knows I want him to attend aa so we are on the same prograame. On the day of the meeting I went to his house to give him a lift. We ended up having a really indepth coversation that got a lit...	Tracy	1	529	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	alanon v aca-which is better? (Preview) I've been going to alanon meetings which have been a great help (when I go). but I'm not actually living with activity now so I do qualify for alanon?? It's just my behaviour patterns I want to change but when I work the alanon steps they work perfectly. Alanon is good but a lot of people go on about alc...	confusedgirl22	4	3360	Mar 26, 2009 by confusedgirl22
	Going away for a long weekend - a little stressed - some ESH please (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted here in quite a while, but I do pop in and visit pretty often. Since my last posting, my husband has been in recovery. To recap the past year of my life: AH was sober for over 15 years, relapsed for about 5 or 6 years, went to rehab in 2007 and remained sober 3 months, relaps...	queenie105	5	442	Mar 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	Remind me to Let Go & Let God :( (Preview) Well... Here we are again... Welp, today I got out of bed, felt pretty good, got up showered and got the boy movin for school, today was my day to volunteer up at my sons school I go up every wens. Mind ya I don't get to see my son, because the program I run is for the elementary, BUT since my neice & nephew a...	Jozie	3	619	Mar 26, 2009 by shellyj123
	Resistance (Preview) My family role is the "scapegoat". I hate myself for assuming such a weak coping mechanism. Intellectually I understand that I am an adult child and in a way, its a relief to get some sort of diagnosis. I went to psychologists, counsellors, CBT therapists, psychiatrists...the lot. All th...	confusedgirl22	3	549	Mar 25, 2009 by canadianguy
	Update? (Preview) My last post is here title lost and confused or something like that... Alright I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days. Probably not enough. I keep changing my mind on whether or not I want to stay. But as I REALLY think about it I really am waiting for him to decide if he is going to stop seein...	Melissa21	6	471	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	Another scared, lonely and sleepless night coming on (Preview) Daughter is supposed to go into hospital Thursday. She will not talk to me; I guess she is mad because I did not take her into my home. If I had, we would be no where near the idea of rehab. She would be in back bedroom drunk and I would be wondering what to do. Several years ago she worked in a cute little sho...	clara	6	369	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	I don't know if I am saying the right things!!! ??? (Preview) Hey y'all! I need some advice/experience. My husband is in rehab. Going on right about 48 hours. I wasn't expecting him to call me for the first 5 days but that is what i get for thinking I know everything, because he called. And boy was he mad! His treatment is competely voluntary. And he has been...	Sincerely	5	542	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	Despair is not alway alcohol related... (Preview) It used to be that anytime I felt deep despair it had to do with one of the alcoholics in my life. We I no longer live with active alcoholism and in fact have lived in a house of recovery for 3 years. In the last 6 months a I have watched 2 of my children make self destructive decisions with little regard of th...	AlaMom	4	812	Mar 25, 2009 by hotrod
	I hate her!!! (Preview) My husband and I have had a huge fight and he has gone to his family to vent. He explained to his sister everything that has gone on and she thinks everything is my fault because i drove him to it. I did not make him drink I did not make him steal from me I did not make him start with cocain. He told her everyth...	Shell44	11	680	Mar 25, 2009 by Mobirdie
	Things were worse than I knew (Preview) My AH as you know is now in the west indies..Today I got a phone call from one of his customers (he is a builder), who I have met once socially. I explained that I was very sorry but the work he had promised he would do when he was there in January (just before he left me for good) wouldnt be getting done and I tol...	Lilly Burn	5	428	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Calmer but still struggling some with program issues~ (Preview) Went home last night, took a bubble bath and went to bed. Woke up and spent the rest of my awake time with my HP and buried in AlAnon literature, then back to sleep. Woke up still not feeling real well, then got the email from the ExABF about not adding my comment to his page for "no particular reaso...	shellyj123	4	442	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Need help today! Long story.... (Preview) It's been a few months since I have written anything here. But I now feel that I can't do this alone and need to write this. My Diabetic AH has been losing control with his drinking for the last three weeks. He has always drank, but it's been worse the last three. Took off for a couple of hours three week...	helpme08	4	756	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Proof of Change.... (Preview) Well I know by now "today" you are most likely thinking... What could have happened now.. We heard from her twice today... Well Thirds a charm my friends:) Or so they so... about an hour after my last post... My sons school called, and told me that he had fallen down a metal set of stairs and lan...	Jozie	7	568	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	update, some venting, maybe ok (Preview) It is not easy getting an A to leave and I have not planned yet to leave with two teens struggling with mental health & school issures. I am following my path with help of sponsor, therapist, mostly hp and my own getting stronger slowly version of courage but it is exhausting and emotional and ha...	ddub	1	361	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	new here with questions (Preview) Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm 38, been married 18-1/2 years, 2 teenagers. My husbands drinking has been an issue for most of our marriage, but last May I finally sat down and told him that he had to take me seriously, that I had to have some peace in my life, and that the only way I could see...	AnnieM	5	518	Mar 25, 2009 by aunitedway
	Being a better friend (Preview) Al anon has helped me to be a better friend. Last week a friend of mine (I do still have a few) had the most alarming news that her husband has leukemia. I've had a long long history with this friend of being in the Karpmans triangle all the time. We both worked at a really horrible dysfunctional office...	maresie	3	404	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	TRYING soooooo hard NOT to react!!!! (Preview) First of all I would like to Thank you all for your responses to my earlier posts. There was a lot of ESH in those posts, so thank you very much. The EXABF sent me a response to my email where I asked him if there was a reason he decided not to post my comment. He responded with "no particular reason&qu...	shellyj123	3	471	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	update alcoholic b/f (Preview) So now i have finally left my situation with my ex b/f. I have moved out of state and now in Fl, I am finding i am less stressed but also once again had to leave a job, insurance and alot of material things. I am angry resentful and hurt that i have spent 8 yrs with this person, through prison, treatments, deto...	maryam	3	474	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Need advice support & encouragement (Preview) My husband of 12 years is a drug addict & sex addict. We have two children. He has been in rehab for the last 6 months. He relapsed in January with drugs and the other woman. He went into a 6 wk inpatient rehab and was released a couple of weeks ago. His mother has been very sick so he spent a week with her...	New Balance	9	944	Mar 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	stuck (Preview) so I am trying to get past the accusation from AH that he stopped wanting to talk to me once my depression started 10 yrs ago. aarrrrgh, I didn't take this well as we all have triggers. I feel I was diagnosed and had meds started then because of all the stress from living with an A that triggered the de...	ddub	1	384	Mar 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	Just Want To Talk...... (Preview) (((((Hugs))))) to Everyone. How do we function with so much pain? I am amazed by all of you and in myself, that we can get up every morning & do the things we must, take care of our families, hold jobs and run our homes. We go through our day to day duties, if people could just see inside our minds and our...	DreamsOver	6	514	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	upset (again) (Preview) This is my best outlet to vent. I caught my bf on a porn site that shows local women. I confronted him about it and he denied going on there (of course). Turned it all around on me (as always). He's said hurtful things. The next day he took the 2nd computer (where the site was saved) out of the house, said he wa...	buick23	3	514	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	Codependent vs Masochist (Preview) The psychologist that I have seen for quite awhile ended our last session with this statement: "There's a fine line between a codependent and a masochist." He tends to end our sessions with some food for thought. He knows I'm a deep thinker. Any thoughts?	GailMichelle	10	4421	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	New Meeting went Well :) (Preview) Welp... Made it there early as we always do.. I have issues yet with being late:)... My SIL drove and she too does not like running late... So was a little strange as we had an idea, but was not sure, were it was exactly bacause it was in the hospital... SOOOO glad that I went... Was a Newbie there, and she was...	Jozie	2	378	Mar 24, 2009 by Sincerely
	Trying to start over and take it slow with a past love~Feeling Confused, and incompetant. (Preview) Well after hearing from my sponsor today and reading the replies to my post I "came down" a bit from my obsessing high:). I am not feeling well at all today and was overburdened at work from the minute I came in the door because I had my usual work to do, plus my boss took off so I had to do her list a...	shellyj123	3	935	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'm lost and confused (Preview) This is the first time I have posted on here. I have replied to a couple others. I am pretty new to Alanon. I joined the chat meetings in December, but never really started working the program till about a month ago. And I think the past month I have done very well. My boyfriend is my A. We have a son together....	Melissa21	11	1223	Mar 24, 2009 by Sincerely
	Old Posts (Preview) I just went back and read all of the topics I have started since I found this board in 2006. It is very interesting to see the progression in myself from a person willing to do anything to help the A in my life to someone willing to do anything to help myself, because I am the only person I can actually affect!...	babysteps	3	551	Mar 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	Birthdays oh those special occasions! (Preview) My birthday is coming up in 2 months and coincides with the possible end of my tenure with a wondeful intern for counselling who I have had a lot of success with. My normal approach to birthdays is to bury my head and try not to deal with it. I know how far I got doing that at Christmas. I have also, like man...	maresie	4	857	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Open minded awarenesses... (Preview) Aloha Family!! Gratefully I got to my morning home group meeting next to the ocean and gosh I had not realized how much HP can do in such a short time and how much my group members (80+ of them) can change and learn in the same small piece of life. One of my fellow brothers shared his new awarenesses about a &...	Jerry F	4	895	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Easy does it~trying not to become the caboose again:) (Preview) Went to a new F2F meeting last night, and believe genuinely that that is where I was supposed to be. Meetings was wonderful and so nice to meet some new faces and get myself "recharged" for the week ahead. Have spoken off and on to EXABF since our date Friday and have to say I am in a place wit...	shellyj123	3	439	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	I can feel the obsessing coming on fast!!!!-Please help with some ESH!!!! (Preview) Well today is one of those "off" days we all have and I am trying to remember that. Woke up feeling like I was hit with a bus and still exhausted, so I am sure that is not helping. EXABF took off sick yesterday so I sent him a get well comment to his Myspace page. He and I met on Myspace, and it is a sen...	shellyj123	5	697	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	another call to "Mom" (Preview) I wrote a few days aga about my youngest son always calling me. Of course he always was good at calling me...but now there's no work, and the calls are really getting to me! He called a few days ago to get the phone # of #2 son--to see if he can help him with building houses etc...well # 2 son also has no work!!...	meagain	3	522	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	I guess the problem is... (Preview) I have never had a slow moving, normal, healthy relationship and I have NO idea how to go about it, what it's supposed to look like and how to control the thing in my heart and brain that drives me into this obsessiveness. I can see how this is about control. I want to MAKE him keep loving me, do what I want h...	carolinagirl	7	694	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Boundary setting?? (Preview) Well I got an email from the EXABF this am, saying that he had a nice time too and that he wouldn't date anyone else until we decided what we are going to do besides that he just wants to keep it "light" and won't be consumed again by what we should or should not do or the implications of it as that i...	shellyj123	2	565	Mar 24, 2009 by Diva
	Good Lord how do I start? (Preview) I guess I just introduce myself. I'm a 55 yr old woman, married for 34 years to the same man. six kids, plus some fosters. You can imagine this man is quite wonderful, really. There isn't anything he won't do for others. He was a wonderful father and a very good husband, in his way. He provided for us a...	Grandma Deb	6	683	Mar 24, 2009 by Diva
	How to help/set boundries w/ AH who doesn't want to quit? (Preview) The disease has really taken control - at least many cancers are curable or fought into remission. AH does nothing but drink around the clock, and doesn't seem to think that's wrong. As long as I don't confront him, any words we exchange are about the weather or 'look how cute the dog/cat is'. If I dare ev...	deserve_more	7	801	Mar 24, 2009 by blender_girl
	The unconditional love of this program (Preview) Yesterday I went to my home group meeting- sundays at 9AM. There was a woman there I had not seen before. She was an old timer and in both programs. I really loved what she said when it was time to share. I went up to her and told her so and gave her my card with my phone numbers on it. She gave me hers. She c...	Jean4444	3	557	Mar 24, 2009 by Rora
	Problems with son (Preview) Dear All, Son has started smoking and drinking aged 15, being very difficult and it is turning into an intolerable situation, am barely getting by with it, as he is quite abusive, send on your prayers please, I need to get things sorted,	maire rua	7	862	Mar 24, 2009 by maire rua
	Stood my ground did not go well (Preview) last night was a long long night for me. Started about 2 pm in the afternoon when my abf told me his friend ( one and only friend he has) was comming by. Now I have no problem with his friend nice guy. Well his friend stopped by and picked up some beer and scotch. ( friend does not drink scotch - and knows tha...	wjwcalifgirl	5	923	Mar 23, 2009 by blender_girl
	Good news, good news!!! She wants to go to the hospital!!! (Preview) Yesterday I told AD she could not come here. This was her last option and it did not work out as she had hoped it would. So, I guess she see rock bottom from where she was at. A gentleman friend of her family is making phone calls and her blank, blank, blank, husband is finally willing to let go of some of hi...	clara	7	476	Mar 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	After 2 + years of sobriety founded out AH is drinking again and maybe cheating too (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727&p=3&topicID=24935869	JS	10	711	Mar 23, 2009 by maresie
	What a morning already! :) (Preview) Well got up this morning did my reading, and put out a post, and thought... WHELP... Time to get the ball rolling on finish off "what I can" of what has to be paid off and done my June with it comes to Desease Afathers belongs... Wanted to get a jump on things...Soooo paid off the water bill, and...	Jozie	1	438	Mar 23, 2009 by abbyal
	New & Need some help, advice, prayers! (Preview) My daughter is an AH and drug addict. She is spiraling out of control. I believe that death may be in her near future as it seems like this may be her only rock bottom. I am frustrated because everyone tells me .. there's nothing I can do. She is 21 years old and has been to rehab .. attended AA .. had a spon...	Ilovemydaughter	4	768	Mar 23, 2009 by clara
	I finally took the stand!!! (Preview) I did want I have been going to Al-Anon for and coming to this board. I phoned daughter and told her she could not come here. I do not think she was shocked. I think she saw it coming. She said Brad was sending the divorce papers to our house. I will "return to sender". I am completely ou...	clara	4	551	Mar 23, 2009 by Rora
	right or wrong answer? (Preview) I don't have much experience with addiction. My xabf is my son's father, and is the only a in my life, to my knowledge. I recently broke it off, for the billionth time. I have been along for the ride, for the most part, and didn't really recognize how much it affected ME until I was pregnant. I started to rea...	lucky	5	679	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	New Meeting Tonight :) YEAH :) (Preview) Hi all... I am try'n out a New F2F tonight, kind of excited, because if all goes well then I know I can go there this summer when I wont be able to get to my "home" F2F... So crossing my fingers for a good night... I was babysitn Fri. so didn't get to get to my usual one, so this worked out perfect f...	Jozie	2	571	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	Remember--will Al-Anon kick me out?? That was me that wrote that (Preview) I am the person that wondered if Al-Anon would kick me out for not following through on my promises. Well, this has probably been one of the worse days of my life. I called my AD and told her she could under no circumstances come to our house. She is now completely out of options. I have cried a river of te...	clara	1	500	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	unsure (Preview) Met my Ab in a local park I was feeling so strong knew he was not going to change my mind he told he he loved me didnt want to loose me. told me it was mad that I was running from him just as he is finally ready to look at himself. to cut a long story short he said he wants to go to aa but has needed time to accept his p...	Tracy	2	625	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	Good day...good day (Preview) After a very low day on Friday, all day in bed nearly, feeling desparately low...which is when I last posted, Saturday I started my new very small part time job at a lovely womenswear designer shop in town working with my friend. Had a good day, came home tired, ate (thats something thats coming back aft...	Lilly Burn	5	596	Mar 22, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Alone (Preview) I haven't posted here but once, I've been so busy with the kids and finally going to the gym (doing something for myself). After almost 7 years with my A boyfriend I feel like I'm in this relationship by myself most of the time. Part of it is because he works 2nd shift and 6-7 days a week, but when he is home...	Holly09	3	688	Mar 22, 2009 by hotrod
	acceptance (Preview) I think I have finally accepted that I carnt change, fix or make over my boyfriend. for 4 years I have been insanly focusing on his life trying to turn him into another person. HE IS WHO HE IS ACCEPT IT he does have probs with drnk nothing I can do. so what does this leave me with I dont want a lifelike this. I d...	Tracy	4	470	Mar 22, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	question (Preview) hi mip family. my A has been in hospital for 4 days detoxing,he seems alot more focused. he is promising to go to AA. this is his first time. has anyone had any success with this. i know better than to build up any kind of hope. i was just wondering. love to you all ollie x	ollie	4	529	Mar 22, 2009 by ollie
	Opening up the tool box (Preview) I noticed that this weekend I have been somewhat distant from my program and HP (of course I have a tendancy to be a perfectionist in everything I do-Imagine that!:)) Part I'm sure has been because I didn't make my Friday night home meeting, part from not feeling well, and part I'm sure due to recent c...	shellyj123	1	705	Mar 22, 2009 by Tracy
	Thank God for Sisters and friends like you!!!! (Preview) I was on the phone with my sister and in near hysterics over AD. For the past 3 days daughter has been promising(threatening) to come to our house. I work myself up in a frenzy and then she does not show. Tomorrow I will call her before church and tell not to bother. Then I will throw myself upon the alte...	clara	2	599	Mar 22, 2009 by clara
	Old habits die hard! (Preview) I have found that in my new relationship I feel very needy. It's complicated because I work days and he works nights and he still lives with his parents (yes I know I know... he's young...) so that complicates things too. In the past I always rushed into relationships and then we were glued together af...	carolinagirl	7	954	Mar 21, 2009 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.