Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... So been doing some thinkin on the whole Abrother thing, sat down with my Mom yesterday and told her what I have been telling all of you..June 1st is D-Day... The Final finally of it all... The day I am No Longer responsible for ANY A's in my family... That is the day that all my responsibilty to my Afat...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I will be getting a root canal in the morning. Blech!! A consequence of what I believe to be the direct result of the self-neglect that came from the disease of co-dependency. It had been 2.5 yrs since I went to the dentist. Unbelievable. I used to go every 6 months. I love my teeth. I found out I...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I "borrowed" the title of this post from a response from Glad Lee the other day, but it got me to thinking.... I don't like "labels", for us, or others, as it tends to lump too many people/personalities/circumstances as one.... Two of the really common ones that we see on this b...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Alright I have never said this to anyone because I have never really thought of it. I think it's kind of part of step 4. I posted on here the last couple days about my A cheating and staying with this girl...I have been up and down and thinking A LOT. Here is what I have come up with. I was always afraid to have a...

Annie69 · Annie69

My A has a drinkin buddy that just got out of jail today. And buddy has called and called "drunk of course". His buddy has no place to stay and they want him to stay here. I told them both NO and No. A got mad a storm off to go drinkin with buddy. But before he left he said that I was a cold hearted...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

A lady in a meeting last week talked about how she hated the slogans when she first started AlAnon and thought they were trite, of course that was then. I had to laugh because I was the same way. How could a slogan or a little "chant" as I used to tease my EXABF ever solve or help my problems??...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Yesterday I was leaving work and a friend called me to tell me that my AH's roommate (we don't live together) called her husband to ask for help cause my AH was talking funny and unintelligeble. Of course I freaked and started crying and calling people to see who could go see what was going on. End of story...

maresie · maresie

Today one of my neighbors came up to me and revealed she is an animal lover just like me. I was really happy and my immediate response is to love bomb her with everything under the sun. Of course now I'm in recovery I don't love bomb anymore. I can't I know where that leads. I'm working hard to lead a life...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Dear All, Well after a year or so of thinking I didn't need Alanon, either the board or f2f, I humbly return to the rooms where I found understanding like no other. Face to face meetings and now online, I find friends are still here plugging away as before. I have to really committ to the recovery program...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity eith...

Diva · Diva

Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes. Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one ti...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I think I have detoxed, if you want to call it that! My A has been in recovery (inpatient) for 72 hours right now. It is wild! I thought he would leave, I would rejoyce and he'd get the help he needed and I'll get well. NOT...I had to go through a little process of my own. After three days of pulling mysel...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok well if you read yesterdays post you will all know the demons of yesterday... :) I would like to thank all that returned the favor and posted for me...Love All the ESH... Well today is the tell tail day, to see if the court system will yet again fail! But I guess that isn't up to me now is it? So got up, new th...

Tracy · Tracy

Met may A and softened when he said he is going to go to a meeting. However deep down I thought it was for my benefit as he knows I want him to attend aa so we are on the same prograame. On the day of the meeting I went to his house to give him a lift. We ended up having a really indepth coversation that got a lit...

confusedgirl22 · confusedgirl22

I've been going to alanon meetings which have been a great help (when I go). but I'm not actually living with activity now so I do qualify for alanon?? It's just my behaviour patterns I want to change but when I work the alanon steps they work perfectly. Alanon is good but a lot of people go on about alc...

queenie105 · queenie105

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted here in quite a while, but I do pop in and visit pretty often. Since my last posting, my husband has been in recovery. To recap the past year of my life: AH was sober for over 15 years, relapsed for about 5 or 6 years, went to rehab in 2007 and remained sober 3 months, relaps...

Jozie · Jozie

Well... Here we are again... Welp, today I got out of bed, felt pretty good, got up showered and got the boy movin for school, today was my day to volunteer up at my sons school I go up every wens. Mind ya I don't get to see my son, because the program I run is for the elementary, BUT since my neice & nephew a...

confusedgirl22 · confusedgirl22

My family role is the "scapegoat". I hate myself for assuming such a weak coping mechanism. Intellectually I understand that I am an adult child and in a way, its a relief to get some sort of diagnosis. I went to psychologists, counsellors, CBT therapists, psychiatrists...the lot. All th...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

My last post is here title lost and confused or something like that... Alright I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days. Probably not enough. I keep changing my mind on whether or not I want to stay. But as I REALLY think about it I really am waiting for him to decide if he is going to stop seein...

clara · clara

Daughter is supposed to go into hospital Thursday. She will not talk to me; I guess she is mad because I did not take her into my home. If I had, we would be no where near the idea of rehab. She would be in back bedroom drunk and I would be wondering what to do. Several years ago she worked in a cute little sho...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hey y'all! I need some advice/experience. My husband is in rehab. Going on right about 48 hours. I wasn't expecting him to call me for the first 5 days but that is what i get for thinking I know everything, because he called. And boy was he mad! His treatment is competely voluntary. And he has been...

AlaMom · AlaMom

It used to be that anytime I felt deep despair it had to do with one of the alcoholics in my life. We I no longer live with active alcoholism and in fact have lived in a house of recovery for 3 years. In the last 6 months a I have watched 2 of my children make self destructive decisions with little regard of th...

Shell44 · Shell44

My husband and I have had a huge fight and he has gone to his family to vent. He explained to his sister everything that has gone on and she thinks everything is my fault because i drove him to it. I did not make him drink I did not make him steal from me I did not make him start with cocain. He told her everyth...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH as you know is now in the west indies..Today I got a phone call from one of his customers (he is a builder), who I have met once socially. I explained that I was very sorry but the work he had promised he would do when he was there in January (just before he left me for good) wouldnt be getting done and I tol...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Went home last night, took a bubble bath and went to bed. Woke up and spent the rest of my awake time with my HP and buried in AlAnon literature, then back to sleep. Woke up still not feeling real well, then got the email from the ExABF about not adding my comment to his page for "no particular reaso...

helpme08 · helpme08

It's been a few months since I have written anything here. But I now feel that I can't do this alone and need to write this. My Diabetic AH has been losing control with his drinking for the last three weeks. He has always drank, but it's been worse the last three. Took off for a couple of hours three week...

Jozie · Jozie

Well I know by now "today" you are most likely thinking... What could have happened now.. We heard from her twice today... Well Thirds a charm my friends:) Or so they so... about an hour after my last post... My sons school called, and told me that he had fallen down a metal set of stairs and lan...

ddub · ddub

It is not easy getting an A to leave and I have not planned yet to leave with two teens struggling with mental health & school issures. I am following my path with help of sponsor, therapist, mostly hp and my own getting stronger slowly version of courage but it is exhausting and emotional and ha...

AnnieM · AnnieM

Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm 38, been married 18-1/2 years, 2 teenagers. My husbands drinking has been an issue for most of our marriage, but last May I finally sat down and told him that he had to take me seriously, that I had to have some peace in my life, and that the only way I could see...

maresie · maresie

Al anon has helped me to be a better friend. Last week a friend of mine (I do still have a few) had the most alarming news that her husband has leukemia. I've had a long long history with this friend of being in the Karpmans triangle all the time. We both worked at a really horrible dysfunctional office...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

First of all I would like to Thank you all for your responses to my earlier posts. There was a lot of ESH in those posts, so thank you very much. The EXABF sent me a response to my email where I asked him if there was a reason he decided not to post my comment. He responded with "no particular reason&qu...

maryam · maryam

So now i have finally left my situation with my ex b/f. I have moved out of state and now in Fl, I am finding i am less stressed but also once again had to leave a job, insurance and alot of material things. I am angry resentful and hurt that i have spent 8 yrs with this person, through prison, treatments, deto...

New Balance · New Balance

My husband of 12 years is a drug addict & sex addict. We have two children. He has been in rehab for the last 6 months. He relapsed in January with drugs and the other woman. He went into a 6 wk inpatient rehab and was released a couple of weeks ago. His mother has been very sick so he spent a week with her...

ddub · ddub

so I am trying to get past the accusation from AH that he stopped wanting to talk to me once my depression started 10 yrs ago. aarrrrgh, I didn't take this well as we all have triggers. I feel I was diagnosed and had meds started then because of all the stress from living with an A that triggered the de...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

(((((Hugs))))) to Everyone. How do we function with so much pain? I am amazed by all of you and in myself, that we can get up every morning & do the things we must, take care of our families, hold jobs and run our homes. We go through our day to day duties, if people could just see inside our minds and our...

buick23 · buick23

This is my best outlet to vent. I caught my bf on a porn site that shows local women. I confronted him about it and he denied going on there (of course). Turned it all around on me (as always). He's said hurtful things. The next day he took the 2nd computer (where the site was saved) out of the house, said he wa...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

The psychologist that I have seen for quite awhile ended our last session with this statement: "There's a fine line between a codependent and a masochist." He tends to end our sessions with some food for thought. He knows I'm a deep thinker. Any thoughts?

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Made it there early as we always do.. I have issues yet with being late:)... My SIL drove and she too does not like running late... So was a little strange as we had an idea, but was not sure, were it was exactly bacause it was in the hospital... SOOOO glad that I went... Was a Newbie there, and she was...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after hearing from my sponsor today and reading the replies to my post I "came down" a bit from my obsessing high:). I am not feeling well at all today and was overburdened at work from the minute I came in the door because I had my usual work to do, plus my boss took off so I had to do her list a...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

This is the first time I have posted on here. I have replied to a couple others. I am pretty new to Alanon. I joined the chat meetings in December, but never really started working the program till about a month ago. And I think the past month I have done very well. My boyfriend is my A. We have a son together....

babysteps · babysteps

I just went back and read all of the topics I have started since I found this board in 2006. It is very interesting to see the progression in myself from a person willing to do anything to help the A in my life to someone willing to do anything to help myself, because I am the only person I can actually affect!...

maresie · maresie

My birthday is coming up in 2 months and coincides with the possible end of my tenure with a wondeful intern for counselling who I have had a lot of success with. My normal approach to birthdays is to bury my head and try not to deal with it. I know how far I got doing that at Christmas. I have also, like man...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! Gratefully I got to my morning home group meeting next to the ocean and gosh I had not realized how much HP can do in such a short time and how much my group members (80+ of them) can change and learn in the same small piece of life. One of my fellow brothers shared his new awarenesses about a &...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Went to a new F2F meeting last night, and believe genuinely that that is where I was supposed to be. Meetings was wonderful and so nice to meet some new faces and get myself "recharged" for the week ahead. Have spoken off and on to EXABF since our date Friday and have to say I am in a place wit...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well today is one of those "off" days we all have and I am trying to remember that. Woke up feeling like I was hit with a bus and still exhausted, so I am sure that is not helping. EXABF took off sick yesterday so I sent him a get well comment to his Myspace page. He and I met on Myspace, and it is a sen...

meagain · meagain

I wrote a few days aga about my youngest son always calling me. Of course he always was good at calling me...but now there's no work, and the calls are really getting to me! He called a few days ago to get the phone # of #2 son--to see if he can help him with building houses etc...well # 2 son also has no work!!...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have never had a slow moving, normal, healthy relationship and I have NO idea how to go about it, what it's supposed to look like and how to control the thing in my heart and brain that drives me into this obsessiveness. I can see how this is about control. I want to MAKE him keep loving me, do what I want h...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well I got an email from the EXABF this am, saying that he had a nice time too and that he wouldn't date anyone else until we decided what we are going to do besides that he just wants to keep it "light" and won't be consumed again by what we should or should not do or the implications of it as that i...

Grandma Deb · Grandma Deb

I guess I just introduce myself. I'm a 55 yr old woman, married for 34 years to the same man. six kids, plus some fosters. You can imagine this man is quite wonderful, really. There isn't anything he won't do for others. He was a wonderful father and a very good husband, in his way. He provided for us a...

deserve_more · deserve_more

The disease has really taken control - at least many cancers are curable or fought into remission. AH does nothing but drink around the clock, and doesn't seem to think that's wrong. As long as I don't confront him, any words we exchange are about the weather or 'look how cute the dog/cat is'. If I dare ev...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Yesterday I went to my home group meeting- sundays at 9AM. There was a woman there I had not seen before. She was an old timer and in both programs. I really loved what she said when it was time to share. I went up to her and told her so and gave her my card with my phone numbers on it. She gave me hers. She c...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Son has started smoking and drinking aged 15, being very difficult and it is turning into an intolerable situation, am barely getting by with it, as he is quite abusive, send on your prayers please, I need to get things sorted,

wjwcalifgirl · wjwcalifgirl

last night was a long long night for me. Started about 2 pm in the afternoon when my abf told me his friend ( one and only friend he has) was comming by. Now I have no problem with his friend nice guy. Well his friend stopped by and picked up some beer and scotch. ( friend does not drink scotch - and knows tha...

clara · clara

Yesterday I told AD she could not come here. This was her last option and it did not work out as she had hoped it would. So, I guess she see rock bottom from where she was at. A gentleman friend of her family is making phone calls and her blank, blank, blank, husband is finally willing to let go of some of hi...

JS · JS

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727&p=3&topicID=24935869

Jozie · Jozie

Well got up this morning did my reading, and put out a post, and thought... WHELP... Time to get the ball rolling on finish off "what I can" of what has to be paid off and done my June with it comes to Desease Afathers belongs... Wanted to get a jump on things...Soooo paid off the water bill, and...

Ilovemydaughter · Ilovemydaughter

My daughter is an AH and drug addict. She is spiraling out of control. I believe that death may be in her near future as it seems like this may be her only rock bottom. I am frustrated because everyone tells me .. there's nothing I can do. She is 21 years old and has been to rehab .. attended AA .. had a spon...

clara · clara

I did want I have been going to Al-Anon for and coming to this board. I phoned daughter and told her she could not come here. I do not think she was shocked. I think she saw it coming. She said Brad was sending the divorce papers to our house. I will "return to sender". I am completely ou...

lucky · lucky

I don't have much experience with addiction. My xabf is my son's father, and is the only a in my life, to my knowledge. I recently broke it off, for the billionth time. I have been along for the ride, for the most part, and didn't really recognize how much it affected ME until I was pregnant. I started to rea...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi all... I am try'n out a New F2F tonight, kind of excited, because if all goes well then I know I can go there this summer when I wont be able to get to my "home" F2F... So crossing my fingers for a good night... I was babysitn Fri. so didn't get to get to my usual one, so this worked out perfect f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Pick'n Back Up (Preview) Ok... So been doing some thinkin on the whole Abrother thing, sat down with my Mom yesterday and told her what I have been telling all of you..June 1st is D-Day... The Final finally of it all... The day I am No Longer responsible for ANY A's in my family... That is the day that all my responsibilty to my Afat...	Jozie	6	554	Mar 27, 2009 by Rora
	would you rather......? (Preview) Hi Friends, I will be getting a root canal in the morning. Blech!! A consequence of what I believe to be the direct result of the self-neglect that came from the disease of co-dependency. It had been 2.5 yrs since I went to the dentist. Unbelievable. I used to go every 6 months. I love my teeth. I found out I...	Loupiness	9	499	Mar 27, 2009 by Loupiness
	Labels never helped me much (Preview) I "borrowed" the title of this post from a response from Glad Lee the other day, but it got me to thinking.... I don't like "labels", for us, or others, as it tends to lump too many people/personalities/circumstances as one.... Two of the really common ones that we see on this b...	canadianguy	11	720	Mar 27, 2009 by confusedgirl22
	Not even sure what to title this? (Preview) Alright I have never said this to anyone because I have never really thought of it. I think it's kind of part of step 4. I posted on here the last couple days about my A cheating and staying with this girl...I have been up and down and thinking A LOT. Here is what I have come up with. I was always afraid to have a...	Melissa21	9	497	Mar 27, 2009 by maresie
	A and his drinkin buddy (Preview) My A has a drinkin buddy that just got out of jail today. And buddy has called and called "drunk of course". His buddy has no place to stay and they want him to stay here. I told them both NO and No. A got mad a storm off to go drinkin with buddy. But before he left he said that I was a cold hearted...	Annie69	10	487	Mar 27, 2009 by Jerry F
	Easy does it~ How I used to hate those slogans:) (Preview) A lady in a meeting last week talked about how she hated the slogans when she first started AlAnon and thought they were trite, of course that was then. I had to laugh because I was the same way. How could a slogan or a little "chant" as I used to tease my EXABF ever solve or help my problems??...	shellyj123	3	496	Mar 27, 2009 by glad lee
	Scared to death and confused (Preview) Yesterday I was leaving work and a friend called me to tell me that my AH's roommate (we don't live together) called her husband to ask for help cause my AH was talking funny and unintelligeble. Of course I freaked and started crying and calling people to see who could go see what was going on. End of story...	Priscilla83	6	614	Mar 27, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Being codependent is the immediate response (Preview) Today one of my neighbors came up to me and revealed she is an animal lover just like me. I was really happy and my immediate response is to love bomb her with everything under the sun. Of course now I'm in recovery I don't love bomb anymore. I can't I know where that leads. I'm working hard to lead a life...	maresie	4	512	Mar 26, 2009 by java
	Humble comeback (Preview) Dear All, Well after a year or so of thinking I didn't need Alanon, either the board or f2f, I humbly return to the rooms where I found understanding like no other. Face to face meetings and now online, I find friends are still here plugging away as before. I have to really committ to the recovery program...	silver brumby	8	609	Mar 26, 2009 by Peggy7
	Has anyone seen my self esteem? Regaining focus....... (Preview) Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity eith...	shellyj123	2	495	Mar 26, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Another broken promise...I have run out of fingers and toes... (Preview) Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes. Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one ti...	Diva	10	645	Mar 26, 2009 by helpme08
	Detoxing from My A Hubby (Preview) I think I have detoxed, if you want to call it that! My A has been in recovery (inpatient) for 72 hours right now. It is wild! I thought he would leave, I would rejoyce and he'd get the help he needed and I'll get well. NOT...I had to go through a little process of my own. After three days of pulling mysel...	Sincerely	4	628	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	How Ironic... HP Thanks... (Preview) Ok well if you read yesterdays post you will all know the demons of yesterday... :) I would like to thank all that returned the favor and posted for me...Love All the ESH... Well today is the tell tail day, to see if the court system will yet again fail! But I guess that isn't up to me now is it? So got up, new th...	Jozie	1	552	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	individual (Preview) Met may A and softened when he said he is going to go to a meeting. However deep down I thought it was for my benefit as he knows I want him to attend aa so we are on the same prograame. On the day of the meeting I went to his house to give him a lift. We ended up having a really indepth coversation that got a lit...	Tracy	1	542	Mar 26, 2009 by Jerry F
	alanon v aca-which is better? (Preview) I've been going to alanon meetings which have been a great help (when I go). but I'm not actually living with activity now so I do qualify for alanon?? It's just my behaviour patterns I want to change but when I work the alanon steps they work perfectly. Alanon is good but a lot of people go on about alc...	confusedgirl22	4	3401	Mar 26, 2009 by confusedgirl22
	Going away for a long weekend - a little stressed - some ESH please (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted here in quite a while, but I do pop in and visit pretty often. Since my last posting, my husband has been in recovery. To recap the past year of my life: AH was sober for over 15 years, relapsed for about 5 or 6 years, went to rehab in 2007 and remained sober 3 months, relaps...	queenie105	5	455	Mar 26, 2009 by Karilynn
	Remind me to Let Go & Let God :( (Preview) Well... Here we are again... Welp, today I got out of bed, felt pretty good, got up showered and got the boy movin for school, today was my day to volunteer up at my sons school I go up every wens. Mind ya I don't get to see my son, because the program I run is for the elementary, BUT since my neice & nephew a...	Jozie	3	629	Mar 26, 2009 by shellyj123
	Resistance (Preview) My family role is the "scapegoat". I hate myself for assuming such a weak coping mechanism. Intellectually I understand that I am an adult child and in a way, its a relief to get some sort of diagnosis. I went to psychologists, counsellors, CBT therapists, psychiatrists...the lot. All th...	confusedgirl22	3	563	Mar 25, 2009 by canadianguy
	Update? (Preview) My last post is here title lost and confused or something like that... Alright I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days. Probably not enough. I keep changing my mind on whether or not I want to stay. But as I REALLY think about it I really am waiting for him to decide if he is going to stop seein...	Melissa21	6	487	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	Another scared, lonely and sleepless night coming on (Preview) Daughter is supposed to go into hospital Thursday. She will not talk to me; I guess she is mad because I did not take her into my home. If I had, we would be no where near the idea of rehab. She would be in back bedroom drunk and I would be wondering what to do. Several years ago she worked in a cute little sho...	clara	6	379	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	I don't know if I am saying the right things!!! ??? (Preview) Hey y'all! I need some advice/experience. My husband is in rehab. Going on right about 48 hours. I wasn't expecting him to call me for the first 5 days but that is what i get for thinking I know everything, because he called. And boy was he mad! His treatment is competely voluntary. And he has been...	Sincerely	5	554	Mar 25, 2009 by Sincerely
	Despair is not alway alcohol related... (Preview) It used to be that anytime I felt deep despair it had to do with one of the alcoholics in my life. We I no longer live with active alcoholism and in fact have lived in a house of recovery for 3 years. In the last 6 months a I have watched 2 of my children make self destructive decisions with little regard of th...	AlaMom	4	842	Mar 25, 2009 by hotrod
	I hate her!!! (Preview) My husband and I have had a huge fight and he has gone to his family to vent. He explained to his sister everything that has gone on and she thinks everything is my fault because i drove him to it. I did not make him drink I did not make him steal from me I did not make him start with cocain. He told her everyth...	Shell44	11	690	Mar 25, 2009 by Mobirdie
	Things were worse than I knew (Preview) My AH as you know is now in the west indies..Today I got a phone call from one of his customers (he is a builder), who I have met once socially. I explained that I was very sorry but the work he had promised he would do when he was there in January (just before he left me for good) wouldnt be getting done and I tol...	Lilly Burn	5	442	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Calmer but still struggling some with program issues~ (Preview) Went home last night, took a bubble bath and went to bed. Woke up and spent the rest of my awake time with my HP and buried in AlAnon literature, then back to sleep. Woke up still not feeling real well, then got the email from the ExABF about not adding my comment to his page for "no particular reaso...	shellyj123	4	456	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Need help today! Long story.... (Preview) It's been a few months since I have written anything here. But I now feel that I can't do this alone and need to write this. My Diabetic AH has been losing control with his drinking for the last three weeks. He has always drank, but it's been worse the last three. Took off for a couple of hours three week...	helpme08	4	768	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Proof of Change.... (Preview) Well I know by now "today" you are most likely thinking... What could have happened now.. We heard from her twice today... Well Thirds a charm my friends:) Or so they so... about an hour after my last post... My sons school called, and told me that he had fallen down a metal set of stairs and lan...	Jozie	7	581	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	update, some venting, maybe ok (Preview) It is not easy getting an A to leave and I have not planned yet to leave with two teens struggling with mental health & school issures. I am following my path with help of sponsor, therapist, mostly hp and my own getting stronger slowly version of courage but it is exhausting and emotional and ha...	ddub	1	373	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	new here with questions (Preview) Hi everyone. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm 38, been married 18-1/2 years, 2 teenagers. My husbands drinking has been an issue for most of our marriage, but last May I finally sat down and told him that he had to take me seriously, that I had to have some peace in my life, and that the only way I could see...	AnnieM	5	544	Mar 25, 2009 by aunitedway
	Being a better friend (Preview) Al anon has helped me to be a better friend. Last week a friend of mine (I do still have a few) had the most alarming news that her husband has leukemia. I've had a long long history with this friend of being in the Karpmans triangle all the time. We both worked at a really horrible dysfunctional office...	maresie	3	416	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	TRYING soooooo hard NOT to react!!!! (Preview) First of all I would like to Thank you all for your responses to my earlier posts. There was a lot of ESH in those posts, so thank you very much. The EXABF sent me a response to my email where I asked him if there was a reason he decided not to post my comment. He responded with "no particular reason&qu...	shellyj123	3	481	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	update alcoholic b/f (Preview) So now i have finally left my situation with my ex b/f. I have moved out of state and now in Fl, I am finding i am less stressed but also once again had to leave a job, insurance and alot of material things. I am angry resentful and hurt that i have spent 8 yrs with this person, through prison, treatments, deto...	maryam	3	487	Mar 25, 2009 by maresie
	Need advice support & encouragement (Preview) My husband of 12 years is a drug addict & sex addict. We have two children. He has been in rehab for the last 6 months. He relapsed in January with drugs and the other woman. He went into a 6 wk inpatient rehab and was released a couple of weeks ago. His mother has been very sick so he spent a week with her...	New Balance	9	961	Mar 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	stuck (Preview) so I am trying to get past the accusation from AH that he stopped wanting to talk to me once my depression started 10 yrs ago. aarrrrgh, I didn't take this well as we all have triggers. I feel I was diagnosed and had meds started then because of all the stress from living with an A that triggered the de...	ddub	1	394	Mar 25, 2009 by Jean4444
	Just Want To Talk...... (Preview) (((((Hugs))))) to Everyone. How do we function with so much pain? I am amazed by all of you and in myself, that we can get up every morning & do the things we must, take care of our families, hold jobs and run our homes. We go through our day to day duties, if people could just see inside our minds and our...	DreamsOver	6	526	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	upset (again) (Preview) This is my best outlet to vent. I caught my bf on a porn site that shows local women. I confronted him about it and he denied going on there (of course). Turned it all around on me (as always). He's said hurtful things. The next day he took the 2nd computer (where the site was saved) out of the house, said he wa...	buick23	3	526	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	Codependent vs Masochist (Preview) The psychologist that I have seen for quite awhile ended our last session with this statement: "There's a fine line between a codependent and a masochist." He tends to end our sessions with some food for thought. He knows I'm a deep thinker. Any thoughts?	GailMichelle	10	4505	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	New Meeting went Well :) (Preview) Welp... Made it there early as we always do.. I have issues yet with being late:)... My SIL drove and she too does not like running late... So was a little strange as we had an idea, but was not sure, were it was exactly bacause it was in the hospital... SOOOO glad that I went... Was a Newbie there, and she was...	Jozie	2	392	Mar 24, 2009 by Sincerely
	Trying to start over and take it slow with a past love~Feeling Confused, and incompetant. (Preview) Well after hearing from my sponsor today and reading the replies to my post I "came down" a bit from my obsessing high:). I am not feeling well at all today and was overburdened at work from the minute I came in the door because I had my usual work to do, plus my boss took off so I had to do her list a...	shellyj123	3	956	Mar 24, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'm lost and confused (Preview) This is the first time I have posted on here. I have replied to a couple others. I am pretty new to Alanon. I joined the chat meetings in December, but never really started working the program till about a month ago. And I think the past month I have done very well. My boyfriend is my A. We have a son together....	Melissa21	11	1235	Mar 24, 2009 by Sincerely
	Old Posts (Preview) I just went back and read all of the topics I have started since I found this board in 2006. It is very interesting to see the progression in myself from a person willing to do anything to help the A in my life to someone willing to do anything to help myself, because I am the only person I can actually affect!...	babysteps	3	566	Mar 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	Birthdays oh those special occasions! (Preview) My birthday is coming up in 2 months and coincides with the possible end of my tenure with a wondeful intern for counselling who I have had a lot of success with. My normal approach to birthdays is to bury my head and try not to deal with it. I know how far I got doing that at Christmas. I have also, like man...	maresie	4	869	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Open minded awarenesses... (Preview) Aloha Family!! Gratefully I got to my morning home group meeting next to the ocean and gosh I had not realized how much HP can do in such a short time and how much my group members (80+ of them) can change and learn in the same small piece of life. One of my fellow brothers shared his new awarenesses about a &...	Jerry F	4	907	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Easy does it~trying not to become the caboose again:) (Preview) Went to a new F2F meeting last night, and believe genuinely that that is where I was supposed to be. Meetings was wonderful and so nice to meet some new faces and get myself "recharged" for the week ahead. Have spoken off and on to EXABF since our date Friday and have to say I am in a place wit...	shellyj123	3	451	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	I can feel the obsessing coming on fast!!!!-Please help with some ESH!!!! (Preview) Well today is one of those "off" days we all have and I am trying to remember that. Woke up feeling like I was hit with a bus and still exhausted, so I am sure that is not helping. EXABF took off sick yesterday so I sent him a get well comment to his Myspace page. He and I met on Myspace, and it is a sen...	shellyj123	5	713	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	another call to "Mom" (Preview) I wrote a few days aga about my youngest son always calling me. Of course he always was good at calling me...but now there's no work, and the calls are really getting to me! He called a few days ago to get the phone # of #2 son--to see if he can help him with building houses etc...well # 2 son also has no work!!...	meagain	3	539	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	I guess the problem is... (Preview) I have never had a slow moving, normal, healthy relationship and I have NO idea how to go about it, what it's supposed to look like and how to control the thing in my heart and brain that drives me into this obsessiveness. I can see how this is about control. I want to MAKE him keep loving me, do what I want h...	carolinagirl	7	705	Mar 24, 2009 by maresie
	Boundary setting?? (Preview) Well I got an email from the EXABF this am, saying that he had a nice time too and that he wouldn't date anyone else until we decided what we are going to do besides that he just wants to keep it "light" and won't be consumed again by what we should or should not do or the implications of it as that i...	shellyj123	2	578	Mar 24, 2009 by Diva
	Good Lord how do I start? (Preview) I guess I just introduce myself. I'm a 55 yr old woman, married for 34 years to the same man. six kids, plus some fosters. You can imagine this man is quite wonderful, really. There isn't anything he won't do for others. He was a wonderful father and a very good husband, in his way. He provided for us a...	Grandma Deb	6	706	Mar 24, 2009 by Diva
	How to help/set boundries w/ AH who doesn't want to quit? (Preview) The disease has really taken control - at least many cancers are curable or fought into remission. AH does nothing but drink around the clock, and doesn't seem to think that's wrong. As long as I don't confront him, any words we exchange are about the weather or 'look how cute the dog/cat is'. If I dare ev...	deserve_more	7	820	Mar 24, 2009 by blender_girl
	The unconditional love of this program (Preview) Yesterday I went to my home group meeting- sundays at 9AM. There was a woman there I had not seen before. She was an old timer and in both programs. I really loved what she said when it was time to share. I went up to her and told her so and gave her my card with my phone numbers on it. She gave me hers. She c...	Jean4444	3	572	Mar 24, 2009 by Rora
	Problems with son (Preview) Dear All, Son has started smoking and drinking aged 15, being very difficult and it is turning into an intolerable situation, am barely getting by with it, as he is quite abusive, send on your prayers please, I need to get things sorted,	maire rua	7	878	Mar 24, 2009 by maire rua
	Stood my ground did not go well (Preview) last night was a long long night for me. Started about 2 pm in the afternoon when my abf told me his friend ( one and only friend he has) was comming by. Now I have no problem with his friend nice guy. Well his friend stopped by and picked up some beer and scotch. ( friend does not drink scotch - and knows tha...	wjwcalifgirl	5	939	Mar 23, 2009 by blender_girl
	Good news, good news!!! She wants to go to the hospital!!! (Preview) Yesterday I told AD she could not come here. This was her last option and it did not work out as she had hoped it would. So, I guess she see rock bottom from where she was at. A gentleman friend of her family is making phone calls and her blank, blank, blank, husband is finally willing to let go of some of hi...	clara	7	487	Mar 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	After 2 + years of sobriety founded out AH is drinking again and maybe cheating too (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42727&p=3&topicID=24935869	JS	10	720	Mar 23, 2009 by maresie
	What a morning already! :) (Preview) Well got up this morning did my reading, and put out a post, and thought... WHELP... Time to get the ball rolling on finish off "what I can" of what has to be paid off and done my June with it comes to Desease Afathers belongs... Wanted to get a jump on things...Soooo paid off the water bill, and...	Jozie	1	453	Mar 23, 2009 by abbyal
	New & Need some help, advice, prayers! (Preview) My daughter is an AH and drug addict. She is spiraling out of control. I believe that death may be in her near future as it seems like this may be her only rock bottom. I am frustrated because everyone tells me .. there's nothing I can do. She is 21 years old and has been to rehab .. attended AA .. had a spon...	Ilovemydaughter	4	780	Mar 23, 2009 by clara
	I finally took the stand!!! (Preview) I did want I have been going to Al-Anon for and coming to this board. I phoned daughter and told her she could not come here. I do not think she was shocked. I think she saw it coming. She said Brad was sending the divorce papers to our house. I will "return to sender". I am completely ou...	clara	4	563	Mar 23, 2009 by Rora
	right or wrong answer? (Preview) I don't have much experience with addiction. My xabf is my son's father, and is the only a in my life, to my knowledge. I recently broke it off, for the billionth time. I have been along for the ride, for the most part, and didn't really recognize how much it affected ME until I was pregnant. I started to rea...	lucky	5	697	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
	New Meeting Tonight :) YEAH :) (Preview) Hi all... I am try'n out a New F2F tonight, kind of excited, because if all goes well then I know I can go there this summer when I wont be able to get to my "home" F2F... So crossing my fingers for a good night... I was babysitn Fri. so didn't get to get to my usual one, so this worked out perfect f...	Jozie	2	581	Mar 22, 2009 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.