Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...

blender_girl · blender_girl

For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...

Jozie · Jozie

New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...

Tracy · Tracy

I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...

Aquastrm · Aquastrm

Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...

Holly09 · Holly09

Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....

barisax · barisax

Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...

BrianS · BrianS

Does anyone what happen to April's business meeting? I was there for 30 minutes and only half a dozen people showed up and there was no one to chair meeting.

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've spent the day, well to be honest pretty much the week in bed (other than work). I just can not seem to get it together. I have no desire to even comb my hair today, and haven't. I had several realizations last night that have added to my over all knowledge and acceptance of things, and now I am just pl...

Sis63 · Sis63

I've been trying to research the best way to start step 4. I got a blueprint workbook at the suggestion of my sponsor. She also said that she really likes the Paths to Recovery book, which I have. I sat down and read both of the books. I don't know which is better to do. The blueprint seems to be more in depth...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

my AH has deserted me as you might know to live in the west indies for a while. He has also deserted his children (who do not live with me) but I know have been effected by this, particularly the 11 year old daughter. Her father didnt actually tell her when he was home briefly to sort things out, that he was go...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... Sooo... The soga comtinues but I have found the silver lining... Or so I hope... Today. Got up read my "dailys" got to cleaning my house, and thought I would sit down my my neice some curtains..Well I got the 1st line o stitches done, when the mail lady, comes up and needs me to sign a "...

Jozie · Jozie

OK... So if you have been keeping up or checking in on my story, it is along one, and I will try to make the explanation a short one... Afather past, i am responsible for his affairs, gave his home to my Abrother, who did not make it happen and left me with More debt then I ever dreamed of... Sooo Last post stat...

motherhen · motherhen

This is my first entry here. My husband is an alcoholic and is an off again on again kind of binge drinker. Because he goes for weeks or even months at a time without a drop, he then justifies that he is not an alcoholic, of course. He will typically say he will go to lunch and see us at home later and any time he...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It was the night from hell and I didn't think I could hurt that much again but there it was. Missed some work and felt somewhat like I lost my soul. He came over Friday night and we talked openly and honestly and worked things out for now but I'm feeling once bitten twice shy and a little hesitant to trust t...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I have posted on here the past 2 weeks about my A having an affair i guess you would call it. Well I can't deal with it anymore. I want to pack my crap and leave now. But I don't have a job have been looking for 4 months with no luck. I have 2 kids. I get 220 a month for child support for my oldest. I called a crisis ho...

spirit · spirit

Hi everyone, you are the only ones that will listen, it seems like I have been writing here when things go bad. I am sorry. Let me apoligize from my heart. i am very sorry. I didnt mean to be selfish. i am in so much pain and this is all I have. I dont have friends or family or anyone i can turn to. so very isolate...

Geez_Wiz · Geez_Wiz

Hi... I am so angry at my dad. He is 81 years old and he started drinking heavily, before we eat dinner, since he was 77 years old. He drinks around 5pm and then he lays down until dinner on the table. When dinner comes he seems sober. However, right before he sits down for dinner, he seems to be sneaking for m...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

Question for the old timers... There's a new meeting being set up. It's about 2 months old and is about 1/3 business meeting every week because of it- oi! But that's not my question- it'll work itself out. My concern is that they've made a deal with the church where it meets to pay 10% of the 7th Trad colle...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

In my home group we focussed on perfectionism. Perfectionism is such a rampant symptom of our disease. Its a great topic and one I hope to gain more ES & H on through this post. I think I am really understanding WHY perfectionism is such a toxic thing for me. For me, perfectionism is actually fea...

mia883 · mia883

Karma: Consequences of one's actions. The motives behind an action. Motivation usually makes the difference between "good" and "bad", but included in the motivation is also the aspect of ignorance; so a well-intended action from an ignorant mind can easily be "bad&q...

clara · clara

I suffer from clinical depression. I cannot blame my depression on anything or anyone. However, when things kind of pile up on me, I go down in the dumps. That is where I am today. First of all, my AD has the family in a drama situation. Even if I ignore her phone calls, I still worry(my own fault). Nev...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Do relationships exist where you can count on your spouse being emotionally available? Will my A Hubby ALWAYS be emotionally unavailable? Is it too much to ask for my a husband to put my cares, concerns, hopes, dreams, fears or even our marriages hopes and dreams somewhere on his list of things to ad...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I've been to 4 f2f meetings this past week and I always hear about working the steps. What I want to know is, how and when do you work them? For instance, 2 of the meetings this week focused on Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. One of the women at the meeting said that she...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Ever wonder about how things like "28-day" rehabs evolved? If you're like me, you'd hope that there was some "science" behind it all, and it took that amount of time for addicts to have their best chance at sobriety.... My understanding is that the 28-days was arrived at, mos...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), If you have been watching CNN today, then you know about the shooting at the American Civic Association. 12 people are dead, so is the gunmen and numerous are injured. I am stunned by this news. There were problems in the community with gangs coming in and recovery is not easy in this...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I got a rather strong lecture from my sponsor about how I needed to share in meetings more. I will talk more about it with her, but I am curious to know what other people think about it. For myself, I find ESH too high of a bar. I don't usually have strength or hope to share. My shares are pretty much confus...

hort7 · hort7

Hello, I am new here and pretty new to world of diagnosed alcoholism. My AH has been a drinker for most of the 16 years we have been married and has been sober for 9 months on 03/29/09. Thank you, God! His pattern of drinking was about every 6-8 weeks going on a 1 day binge. I had an inkling there was a problem b...

spirited1 · spirited1

Good day MIP family~ Woke up early and thought I would stop by and let you know that the date with EXABF went well. We had a nice dinner, watched a movie and he went home. We didn't discuss anything as far as us or reconciling or anything-though he did say something about if we decided to keep seeing one ano...

HangingOn · HangingOn

I am new here and need some help. I have a session with my AH and his rehab counselor tomorrow. What should I say or should I keep quiet and just listen? Do I believe what he has to say? I'm not sure if its ok to articulate how confused and disappointed I am, or should I try to stay positive and try to move ah...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Tomorrow will be one week since my A Hubby came home from his brief 4 day rehab stay. I must admit, I have been impressed with my A Hubby's renewed strength. Years ago, I always said that I was prepared if he slipped. After big sober for 3 years he slipped. It has been a long hard miserable crazy 5 year sl...

Bernice · Bernice

Hi everyone. I'm new here and not quite sure if I am posting this correctly. My name is Bernice and I have been married for nine years. My husband has been sober six months. We have been seperated for a few years. I take care of me and my children well. I attend codependancy meetings. I fell out of love with h...

Shell44 · Shell44

Ok, so my AH got 2 summon's to appear in court for a missed child support payment back in 06 and another one for not paying a certain % of healthcare for his other daughter. This is all out of jealousy from his ex. anytime she is jealous or mad they are in court for something. Anyways, this upset my AH so he...

Jozie · Jozie

A Butterfly Lesson.... One day a small opening appeared on a cocoon; a man sat & watched for the burtterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seems to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could not go any further... S...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Sadly, two days ago I got the dreaded phone call from the old ex partner, her chance to get back at me after 7 years...she told me lots of things, some i think were lies some I dont, but she had me in tears for two hours so well done her.Anyway she did tell me that my AH apparantly thinks that Im cool about our sp...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) The disease of alcoholism has taken over a friend of mine. I work in the health profession, Tuesday whilst on duty I came across an old friend. I was so shocked as to their condition. He's so ill with all the complications of alcoholic liver disease. To see him this way was awful, it reall...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So, I told in another post how a friend of my AH called and said he was talking weird and I freaked out. Well yesterday AH came over and told me that YES, he was sick for 4 hours, not being able to talk, drink water, eyes rolled back, purple lips, seizure, bad bad bad. He was smoking heroin! This is new inform...

QOD · QOD

I have not been on here in a really long time. I initially became a member b/c my husband was abusing drugs and alcohol. It took some time but I was finally able to get a divorce from him. He got his life straightened out and now we are dating again. Not living together but dating. My current situation i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I met my boyfriend's mom last night. I got the oh my god my son has lost his mind vibe from her. I talked to him on the phone a few minutes ago and he said she said I was nice and there was a pause... and so I said and? and some other things that are between me and her... I'm pretty good at reading people and I'm u...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Okay so I posted on here last week my A is having an affair and openly tells me like there is nothing wrong with it. I have let go and let god. I do my best to only worry about me and just for today. We have gotten along pretty well surprisingly since this has happened, but he sits and acts like I am still his gir...

Nettie Spaghetti · Nettie Spaghetti

I am new to this site, but not to Al-Anon. It saved my life about ten years ago while my AH was actively doing drugs and drinking. I have been with my AH for 15 years, the last 7 ½ he has been sober. I have just recently become aware that not much has changed. I stopped going to Al-Anon shortly after my hus...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

We are scheduled to leave for Hawaii (the Big Island) one week from today. We go every year and we consider it our second home. Last year's trip was ruined a bit by my husband's drinking. Since I still have bad feelings/memories from last year, I decided that this year we'd make some changes - we're s...

Diva · Diva

It was a one-day drunk with all the trimmings. Next day, he straightened himself up, and made all the promises..sounds like a broken record... How would he ever get along without me, the love of his like? Really? Actually it took three days for him to get over the effects of the alcohol. He drinks i...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hi All! This week I am devoting it to keeping my mouth shut. I am practicing the anonymity part of the program. I am so used to being an open book. You ask, I tell. You don't ask, I share. So far, so good. I feel like people at work and my friends know too much of my business. But that is my own fault. I wa...

clara · clara

Earlier post I mentioned that I had not heard from AD for over a week, since I told her she could not crash at our house, because I knew she would be drinking here. Well, guess what? You are right. She called to let me know she did not "drop from the face of the earth". She told me that she had &quo...

Canary · Canary

With my husband newly sober and now, once again, living at home, I am learning how to live one day at a time. SO often I sit and start to worry and panic over what can happen tomorrow. The "what if's" come to mind. What if he drinks again? What if he doesn't come home from work again? What if I star...

maresie · maresie

One of the tasks I have been putting off for a while now is organizing my storage unit. I think its a symbol of all that I've lost. I had a home with the ex A a nice home with a garden I tended, room to move and space. Now I have a temporary home and a storage unit. I don't want to look at the stuff I accumulated w...

barisax · barisax

Not quite fifteen. But close enough. There's something about that number. It runs through my life and when I look back, there are an awful lot of red, yellow, green, blue, orange, white, and black flags sticking through the number 15. Not just on the calendar, although there are plenty of those. ...

Canary · Canary

I have posted in the recent past how my husband, after 8 years of sobriety, started drinking again. After a year of hell, a stint in rehab and being suspended from his job, I removed him from the house. Having 2 babies at home and working full time made it very difficult. I was a mess. My AH is now living back...

silver brumby · silver brumby

I have kicked my AH out again and he has found caretakers next door! It's crazy. But perhaps they will have some time to realise what a user he is. (he used to go over there to get away from me now he is living there.) All he wants to do is come back home so he can have a free ride and spend all his leisure time doin...

Dale · Dale

Hi My name is Dale and I am a gratiful member of Alanon, and AA I have been a member of this site for approximatly one yr. Before that I lived aa for almost 21 yrs, Spent some time in ACOA, All the while growing. Today I need to share something. I woke up crying, part of it was tears of joy and part tears of sadne...

brightmommy · brightmommy

any suggestions on how to move forward past the hurt and anger of past event? I am having a difficult time letting go and not reacting. Also, I think I am just forgetting instead of forgiving. Still hurting today brightmommy -- Edited by brightmommy on Tuesday 31st of March 2009 08:41:56 PM

Aquastrm · Aquastrm

hank you everyone for your tips and support. After I wrote the first post I felt better just releasing my irritation and frustration and seeing people do care and understand what i am going thru helps a lot. Once again I arrived home AH drunk again but this time i just walked away and went about my evening...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Today Me and My Husband desided to take a day and play hookie from work since it has been sooo slow.. I was so excited... We went down to our property by the river, and spent the day... It was invigerating... I mowed, I weeded, I raked, I walked, I put fenses up, cleaned up trash the wind blows aroun...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Question about how much to help (Preview) My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...	CarlosNA	9	592	Apr 7, 2009 by QOD
	Pros/Cons vs Expectations/Fears (Preview) For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...	blender_girl	5	4106	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Just for Today... Get'n Out of My Rockin Chair... (Preview) New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...	Jozie	1	511	Apr 7, 2009 by blender_girl
	forgiveness (Preview) I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...	Tracy	6	683	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Confession (Preview) I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...	N8SMOM	6	587	Apr 7, 2009 by kitty
	Question regarding anonymity, contact between males & females in AA (Preview) My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...	farmgirlmay	3	471	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Need help (Preview) Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...	Aquastrm	8	814	Apr 7, 2009 by Shell44
	Upset with myself (Preview) Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...	Holly09	4	497	Apr 7, 2009 by Holly09
	Hello sis and bros (o: (Preview) I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...	debilyn	6	663	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Early morning spiritual event... (Preview) Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....	Jerry F	6	654	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Alanon a Hard Sell? (Preview) Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...	barisax	17	1219	Apr 6, 2009 by joelle
	Newcomer questions (Preview) Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...	CarlosNA	8	629	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
	I've never felt lower or more alone...My epihany-(sorry this is so long)...... (Preview) Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...	shellyj123	6	924	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
	April meeting (Preview) Does anyone what happen to April's business meeting? I was there for 30 minutes and only half a dozen people showed up and there was no one to chair meeting.	BrianS	2	381	Apr 6, 2009 by BrianS
	Trying sooo hard to find my program.... (Preview) I've spent the day, well to be honest pretty much the week in bed (other than work). I just can not seem to get it together. I have no desire to even comb my hair today, and haven't. I had several realizations last night that have added to my over all knowledge and acceptance of things, and now I am just pl...	shellyj123	5	641	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	Working step 4... (Preview) I've been trying to research the best way to start step 4. I got a blueprint workbook at the suggestion of my sponsor. She also said that she really likes the Paths to Recovery book, which I have. I sat down and read both of the books. I don't know which is better to do. The blueprint seems to be more in depth...	Sis63	5	1517	Apr 6, 2009 by Sis63
	Deserted.... (Preview) my AH has deserted me as you might know to live in the west indies for a while. He has also deserted his children (who do not live with me) but I know have been effected by this, particularly the 11 year old daughter. Her father didnt actually tell her when he was home briefly to sort things out, that he was go...	Lilly Burn	3	543	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	And so it continues... (Preview) Ok... Sooo... The soga comtinues but I have found the silver lining... Or so I hope... Today. Got up read my "dailys" got to cleaning my house, and thought I would sit down my my neice some curtains..Well I got the 1st line o stitches done, when the mail lady, comes up and needs me to sign a "...	Jozie	8	615	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	NEED to Vent.... (Preview) OK... So if you have been keeping up or checking in on my story, it is along one, and I will try to make the explanation a short one... Afather past, i am responsible for his affairs, gave his home to my Abrother, who did not make it happen and left me with More debt then I ever dreamed of... Sooo Last post stat...	Jozie	6	553	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	What else can I do to help my 10 year old deal? (Preview) This is my first entry here. My husband is an alcoholic and is an off again on again kind of binge drinker. Because he goes for weeks or even months at a time without a drop, he then justifies that he is not an alcoholic, of course. He will typically say he will go to lunch and see us at home later and any time he...	motherhen	9	1447	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	He broke up with me on April Fool's Day - No joke.... (Preview) It was the night from hell and I didn't think I could hurt that much again but there it was. Missed some work and felt somewhat like I lost my soul. He came over Friday night and we talked openly and honestly and worked things out for now but I'm feeling once bitten twice shy and a little hesitant to trust t...	carolinagirl	3	615	Apr 6, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Need help leaving (Preview) I have posted on here the past 2 weeks about my A having an affair i guess you would call it. Well I can't deal with it anymore. I want to pack my crap and leave now. But I don't have a job have been looking for 4 months with no luck. I have 2 kids. I get 220 a month for child support for my oldest. I called a crisis ho...	Melissa21	8	806	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	thank you (Preview) Hi everyone, you are the only ones that will listen, it seems like I have been writing here when things go bad. I am sorry. Let me apoligize from my heart. i am very sorry. I didnt mean to be selfish. i am in so much pain and this is all I have. I dont have friends or family or anyone i can turn to. so very isolate...	spirit	4	466	Apr 6, 2009 by Jozie
	So Fed Up with Dad’s Denial (at 82 years old) (Preview) Hi... I am so angry at my dad. He is 81 years old and he started drinking heavily, before we eat dinner, since he was 77 years old. He drinks around 5pm and then he lays down until dinner on the table. When dinner comes he seems sober. However, right before he sits down for dinner, he seems to be sneaking for m...	Geez_Wiz	4	932	Apr 6, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	question about meeting being subsidized (Preview) Question for the old timers... There's a new meeting being set up. It's about 2 months old and is about 1/3 business meeting every week because of it- oi! But that's not my question- it'll work itself out. My concern is that they've made a deal with the church where it meets to pay 10% of the 7th Trad colle...	gngcrzy	3	878	Apr 6, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Perfectionism (Preview) In my home group we focussed on perfectionism. Perfectionism is such a rampant symptom of our disease. Its a great topic and one I hope to gain more ES & H on through this post. I think I am really understanding WHY perfectionism is such a toxic thing for me. For me, perfectionism is actually fea...	Jean4444	7	1707	Apr 6, 2009 by Karilynn
	Am I allowed to refer to Karma at Alanon meetings, when sharing? (Preview) Karma: Consequences of one's actions. The motives behind an action. Motivation usually makes the difference between "good" and "bad", but included in the motivation is also the aspect of ignorance; so a well-intended action from an ignorant mind can easily be "bad&q...	mia883	4	648	Apr 5, 2009 by hotrod
	Sad and depressed today---HELP (Preview) I suffer from clinical depression. I cannot blame my depression on anything or anyone. However, when things kind of pile up on me, I go down in the dumps. That is where I am today. First of all, my AD has the family in a drama situation. Even if I ignore her phone calls, I still worry(my own fault). Nev...	clara	4	531	Apr 5, 2009 by maresie
	Emotionally Unavailable (Preview) Do relationships exist where you can count on your spouse being emotionally available? Will my A Hubby ALWAYS be emotionally unavailable? Is it too much to ask for my a husband to put my cares, concerns, hopes, dreams, fears or even our marriages hopes and dreams somewhere on his list of things to ad...	Sincerely	8	757	Apr 5, 2009 by Diva
	Working the Steps (Preview) I've been to 4 f2f meetings this past week and I always hear about working the steps. What I want to know is, how and when do you work them? For instance, 2 of the meetings this week focused on Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. One of the women at the meeting said that she...	N8SMOM	3	646	Apr 4, 2009 by Jean4444
	Length of Rehab... (Preview) Ever wonder about how things like "28-day" rehabs evolved? If you're like me, you'd hope that there was some "science" behind it all, and it took that amount of time for addicts to have their best chance at sobriety.... My understanding is that the 28-days was arrived at, mos...	canadianguy	6	945	Apr 4, 2009 by Sis63
	Prayers for my community please. (Preview) ((((Family))), If you have been watching CNN today, then you know about the shooting at the American Civic Association. 12 people are dead, so is the gunmen and numerous are injured. I am stunned by this news. There were problems in the community with gangs coming in and recovery is not easy in this...	Karilynn	6	1091	Apr 4, 2009 by clara
	question abut sharing in meetings (Preview) I got a rather strong lecture from my sponsor about how I needed to share in meetings more. I will talk more about it with her, but I am curious to know what other people think about it. For myself, I find ESH too high of a bar. I don't usually have strength or hope to share. My shares are pretty much confus...	gngcrzy	15	1225	Apr 4, 2009 by Jean4444
	New to this forum and Al-Anon (Preview) Hello, I am new here and pretty new to world of diagnosed alcoholism. My AH has been a drinker for most of the 16 years we have been married and has been sober for 9 months on 03/29/09. Thank you, God! His pattern of drinking was about every 6-8 weeks going on a 1 day binge. I had an inkling there was a problem b...	hort7	7	690	Apr 3, 2009 by hort7
	Date night (Preview) Good day MIP family~ Woke up early and thought I would stop by and let you know that the date with EXABF went well. We had a nice dinner, watched a movie and he went home. We didn't discuss anything as far as us or reconciling or anything-though he did say something about if we decided to keep seeing one ano...	spirited1	1	499	Apr 3, 2009 by BrianS
	AH in rehab and our 1st Family Session is tomorrow...any advice? (Preview) I am new here and need some help. I have a session with my AH and his rehab counselor tomorrow. What should I say or should I keep quiet and just listen? Do I believe what he has to say? I'm not sure if its ok to articulate how confused and disappointed I am, or should I try to stay positive and try to move ah...	HangingOn	10	974	Apr 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	It's been a week...without being weak! (Preview) Tomorrow will be one week since my A Hubby came home from his brief 4 day rehab stay. I must admit, I have been impressed with my A Hubby's renewed strength. Years ago, I always said that I was prepared if he slipped. After big sober for 3 years he slipped. It has been a long hard miserable crazy 5 year sl...	Sincerely	4	755	Apr 3, 2009 by Jozie
	New to this forum but not new to this disease (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here and not quite sure if I am posting this correctly. My name is Bernice and I have been married for nine years. My husband has been sober six months. We have been seperated for a few years. I take care of me and my children well. I attend codependancy meetings. I fell out of love with h...	Bernice	8	1512	Apr 3, 2009 by Bernice
	My AH's call for help id it really a suicide attempt? Opnions please! (Preview) Ok, so my AH got 2 summon's to appear in court for a missed child support payment back in 06 and another one for not paying a certain % of healthcare for his other daughter. This is all out of jealousy from his ex. anytime she is jealous or mad they are in court for something. Anyways, this upset my AH so he...	Shell44	13	988	Apr 2, 2009 by Jean4444
	A Lesson in Strength & Fortitude :O (Preview) A Butterfly Lesson.... One day a small opening appeared on a cocoon; a man sat & watched for the burtterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seems to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could not go any further... S...	Jozie	4	869	Apr 2, 2009 by Jerry F
	My AH thinks I am cool about our separation (Preview) Sadly, two days ago I got the dreaded phone call from the old ex partner, her chance to get back at me after 7 years...she told me lots of things, some i think were lies some I dont, but she had me in tears for two hours so well done her.Anyway she did tell me that my AH apparantly thinks that Im cool about our sp...	Lilly Burn	7	909	Apr 2, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	A good friend (Preview) Hi (((All))) The disease of alcoholism has taken over a friend of mine. I work in the health profession, Tuesday whilst on duty I came across an old friend. I was so shocked as to their condition. He's so ill with all the complications of alcoholic liver disease. To see him this way was awful, it reall...	Mariner	2	625	Apr 2, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Dissapointed and kinda OK (Preview) So, I told in another post how a friend of my AH called and said he was talking weird and I freaked out. Well yesterday AH came over and told me that YES, he was sick for 4 hours, not being able to talk, drink water, eyes rolled back, purple lips, seizure, bad bad bad. He was smoking heroin! This is new inform...	Priscilla83	5	547	Apr 2, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Anyone Ever Live in Fear of their Own Teenager? (Preview) I have not been on here in a really long time. I initially became a member b/c my husband was abusing drugs and alcohol. It took some time but I was finally able to get a divorce from him. He got his life straightened out and now we are dating again. Not living together but dating. My current situation i...	QOD	6	781	Apr 2, 2009 by Gailey
	Worrying (Preview) I met my boyfriend's mom last night. I got the oh my god my son has lost his mind vibe from her. I talked to him on the phone a few minutes ago and he said she said I was nice and there was a pause... and so I said and? and some other things that are between me and her... I'm pretty good at reading people and I'm u...	carolinagirl	6	1024	Apr 2, 2009 by Jerry F
	I need some ideas! (Preview) Okay so I posted on here last week my A is having an affair and openly tells me like there is nothing wrong with it. I have let go and let god. I do my best to only worry about me and just for today. We have gotten along pretty well surprisingly since this has happened, but he sits and acts like I am still his gir...	Melissa21	14	1317	Apr 1, 2009 by Christy
	Insane Sober Living dry drunk sober (Preview) I am new to this site, but not to Al-Anon. It saved my life about ten years ago while my AH was actively doing drugs and drinking. I have been with my AH for 15 years, the last 7 ½ he has been sober. I have just recently become aware that not much has changed. I stopped going to Al-Anon shortly after my hus...	Nettie Spaghetti	5	4132	Apr 1, 2009 by farmgirlmay
	Difficult Decision (Preview) We are scheduled to leave for Hawaii (the Big Island) one week from today. We go every year and we consider it our second home. Last year's trip was ruined a bit by my husband's drinking. Since I still have bad feelings/memories from last year, I decided that this year we'd make some changes - we're s...	N8SMOM	8	848	Apr 1, 2009 by Priscilla83
	His latest one-day binge is a thing of the past...yawn (Preview) It was a one-day drunk with all the trimmings. Next day, he straightened himself up, and made all the promises..sounds like a broken record... How would he ever get along without me, the love of his like? Really? Actually it took three days for him to get over the effects of the alcohol. He drinks i...	Diva	5	586	Apr 1, 2009 by Priscilla83
	...keeping my mind open and my mouth shut.... (Preview) Hi All! This week I am devoting it to keeping my mouth shut. I am practicing the anonymity part of the program. I am so used to being an open book. You ask, I tell. You don't ask, I share. So far, so good. I feel like people at work and my friends know too much of my business. But that is my own fault. I wa...	Sincerely	5	884	Apr 1, 2009 by Jozie
	So mad, I could spit nails!!! (Preview) Earlier post I mentioned that I had not heard from AD for over a week, since I told her she could not crash at our house, because I knew she would be drinking here. Well, guess what? You are right. She called to let me know she did not "drop from the face of the earth". She told me that she had &quo...	clara	9	1276	Apr 1, 2009 by maresie
	My topic of the day is...One day at a time. (Preview) With my husband newly sober and now, once again, living at home, I am learning how to live one day at a time. SO often I sit and start to worry and panic over what can happen tomorrow. The "what if's" come to mind. What if he drinks again? What if he doesn't come home from work again? What if I star...	Canary	3	705	Apr 1, 2009 by AnnieM
	Getting out of chaos! (Preview) One of the tasks I have been putting off for a while now is organizing my storage unit. I think its a symbol of all that I've lost. I had a home with the ex A a nice home with a garden I tended, room to move and space. Now I have a temporary home and a storage unit. I don't want to look at the stuff I accumulated w...	maresie	7	878	Apr 1, 2009 by maresie
	The Blonde Drama Goddess at Fifteen (Preview) Not quite fifteen. But close enough. There's something about that number. It runs through my life and when I look back, there are an awful lot of red, yellow, green, blue, orange, white, and black flags sticking through the number 15. Not just on the calendar, although there are plenty of those. ...	barisax	5	991	Apr 1, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Anyone married to a recovering A and dealing with the "post war?" (Preview) I have posted in the recent past how my husband, after 8 years of sobriety, started drinking again. After a year of hell, a stint in rehab and being suspended from his job, I removed him from the house. Having 2 babies at home and working full time made it very difficult. I was a mess. My AH is now living back...	Canary	3	915	Apr 1, 2009 by QOD
	making things happen? (Preview) I have kicked my AH out again and he has found caretakers next door! It's crazy. But perhaps they will have some time to realise what a user he is. (he used to go over there to get away from me now he is living there.) All he wants to do is come back home so he can have a free ride and spend all his leisure time doin...	silver brumby	3	880	Apr 1, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Good morning All!!!!! (Preview) Hi My name is Dale and I am a gratiful member of Alanon, and AA I have been a member of this site for approximatly one yr. Before that I lived aa for almost 21 yrs, Spent some time in ACOA, All the while growing. Today I need to share something. I woke up crying, part of it was tears of joy and part tears of sadne...	Dale	9	562	Apr 1, 2009 by Peggy7
	hurt and anger (Preview) any suggestions on how to move forward past the hurt and anger of past event? I am having a difficult time letting go and not reacting. Also, I think I am just forgetting instead of forgiving. Still hurting today brightmommy -- Edited by brightmommy on Tuesday 31st of March 2009 08:41:56 PM	brightmommy	3	1021	Apr 1, 2009 by Jerry F
	Know I should take one day at a time (Preview) hank you everyone for your tips and support. After I wrote the first post I felt better just releasing my irritation and frustration and seeing people do care and understand what i am going thru helps a lot. Once again I arrived home AH drunk again but this time i just walked away and went about my evening...	Aquastrm	1	622	Mar 31, 2009 by hotrod
	What a Day :) (Preview) Welp... Today Me and My Husband desided to take a day and play hookie from work since it has been sooo slow.. I was so excited... We went down to our property by the river, and spent the day... It was invigerating... I mowed, I weeded, I raked, I walked, I put fenses up, cleaned up trash the wind blows aroun...	Jozie	3	838	Mar 31, 2009 by Christy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.