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Know I should take one day at a time
(Preview)
hank you everyone for your tips and support. After I wrote the first post I felt better just releasing my irritation and frustration and seeing people do care and understand what i am going thru helps a lot. Once again I arrived home AH drunk again but this time i just walked away and went about my evening...
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Aquastrm
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1
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524
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What a Day :)
(Preview)
Welp... Today Me and My Husband desided to take a day and play hookie from work since it has been sooo slow.. I was so excited... We went down to our property by the river, and spent the day... It was invigerating... I mowed, I weeded, I raked, I walked, I put fenses up, cleaned up trash the wind blows aroun...
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Jozie
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3
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722
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Everyone has a "program"...
(Preview)
I am seeing that we all have programs. Programs are provisional sets of belief systems in which we live our lives- we all have a program! The issue then is WHAT KIND of program am I going to use in my life today (just for today)? I have had terrible programs- ones that were toxic and very self destructive...
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Jean4444
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8
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533
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One day at a time-more like one hour at a time
(Preview)
Well my son left for camp yesterday and EXABF walked away again on Saturday, and I am feeling more alone that I have ever, but in a way I am ok with it. I realized, through the help of many of you, that EXABF just can't offer what I want-for whatever reason's he is just not capable. I can no longer allow my...
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shellyj123
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3
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793
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Please help me
(Preview)
I have been lurking on this site since last summer, I kept thinking I didn't belong here and that my situation was different. Seven months later I no longer think that, and I'm very scared for my family. Three years ago I had what I would have described as a great life. I was married to a great guy, we hav...
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Tired Mom
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7
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881
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daughter not in rehab as promised
(Preview)
Daughter did not go into rehab as she promised last week. Not surprised. Anyway, since I would not let her come to live with us, she is not speaking to me. I am counting my blessings. So, i have no idea on what is going on with her. Last week, we had a horrible lightning storm. Lightning struck our phone...
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clara
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4
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633
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Sorry but I'm sick of everyone "feeling sorry for him"...
(Preview)
I have ten years with a very functional alcoholic who finally was forced by an ultimatum to enter rehab on 3/19. As background, he decided to get loaded and blow off picking his 6 year old daughter up at the bus. Oh BTW...he decided to pull this stunt on my 3rd day of work at a new job. I am trying to detach f...
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HangingOn
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7
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1123
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Why doesn't he just stop coming back and hurting me??
(Preview)
A lot of responses to my post this weekend pretty much said the same thing......he isn't treating me right, walk away. If I cared about him I would want what is best for him and let go and let God. And that is all understandable and fine, but I did do all that before......I severed all contact in January a...
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shellyj123
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10
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8136
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UGHHHHHH
(Preview)
My husband had an appointment with a rheumatologist this morning for his chronic back pain. My son and I were on our way out of the house for an activity when he came home. He didn't look good and said the appointment didn't go well. I apologized for having to leave (we were running late). I asked him n...
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N8SMOM
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4
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797
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why is it so painful?
(Preview)
Hi all, So I left my ex ABF 2 and a half months ago. He went back to AA got a new sponsor and was very gung ho about everything. He had 2 months 2 weeks ago and we were starting to talk on the phone every now and then as "friends". Last Friday I started getting really horrible hurtful texts from hi...
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reef999
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9
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833
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A is angry at me
(Preview)
So, my AH's dealer called me like every day to try and get a hold of him, cause he owned him money. One day I just got tires of having to talk to that dumb*** so I gave him the A's office number. I guess the dealer has been calling nonstop, cause my AH called and he was furious!! He asked me if I gave the dealer his...
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Priscilla83
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4
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776
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Family Program at Rehab
(Preview)
Has anyone here been through it and want to share a little about it with me?
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TLM
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5
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811
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Listen and learn
(Preview)
I went to my f2f tonight I have been to al anon meetings for the past 4 days because of the covention then tonight. I feel I am walking on air. However last night and early today acceptance had me in the pits this journey is tough but I know I am heading in the right direction. Subject tonight was listen an...
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Tracy
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3
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653
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online step study?
(Preview)
I would be interested in having an online step study meeting to go over my thoughts and feelings of the steps. I can not attend the night time step meeting...and would like to suggest we have a daytime step meeting as well. Would anyone else be interested in having a meeting? I know it would have to be a...
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brightmommy
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5
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1204
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If I could quit crying I'd laugh~
(Preview)
EXABF just sent me an email advising that "considering our conversation and the weirdness in my head I think we should take a break". He said he knows it is all him and he needs to figure some things out (again), and that he hoped I know how much he cares for me and my son (actions speak so much l...
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shellyj123
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5
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741
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Just having a Low Start....
(Preview)
I just got 2 thinking about somethings tho.. When I was growing up, we didn't get to do alot of anything AT ALL, Only place I went other then school, was my mom would put us all in swimming lessons in the summer, we were gone most of the day, because of were the bus had to take us, and I think that helped her...
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Jozie
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3
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755
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chats with sponsor
(Preview)
I had a chat with my sponsor today she said that if I focused on my recovery and told AB that we couldnt be together until he is in recovery that he may promise again that he will enter recovery. we discussed recovery mine and an A's. I carnt be with anyone at moment need to really focus on me. I dont want hi...
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Tracy
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3
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579
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growing pains
(Preview)
I spent this weekend at an AA convention with al anon participation. WOW I met some of the most amazing people and recieved lots of gudance from HP. One AA member shared he was in a relationship with a nother AA member and how in an argument he had told her he she needed a meeting, he laughed and said he was f...
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Tracy
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3
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774
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Anxiety?
(Preview)
I've been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety for a few months now. I saw a therapist for the first time yesterday and after explaining all the things that have been going on in my life the past few years, she is convinced that my anxiety is because of my husband's drinking. We're dealing with a lot...
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N8SMOM
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8
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828
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Thank GOD for SUNSHINE! & a pressure washer!
(Preview)
The sun came up and dried up all the water! I got dressed and went to lunch with 2 girlfriends. Hubby went to a meeting. I came home and hubby was pressure washing everything. Tomorrow morning, church with my A. And face to face for me at 6pm. ***and all of my appliances in the utility room are fine and dand...
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Sincerely
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3
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546
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One-sided love relationships
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8 HI ((All)) I just wanted to share this with you. I was looking at old posts here last night, and found a link to Eckhart Tolle on youtube. Maybe some of you will know of him already. I found what he had to say very profound. If I havent managed to do the link th...
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Mariner
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2
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2750
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New Here Just tired of this disease
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I been reading the post for quite a while. Boy has it helped me alot. Yes I also go to F-F meeting too. I been married to my AH for 30 years. I'm still young yet too 47 Yes I got married young to get out of my alcoholic home. Hummm ! And here I am. Living it. I have 4 boys they are gettin tired too. They d...
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peacewithin
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3
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839
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The true end~Walking back into my life...
(Preview)
I'd like to thank everyone who responded to my posts this weekend, it meant a great deal to me, as it was/is a very difficult time for me. For the longest time I believed that HP brought EXABF and I together as part of His plan for a life together for us. I still believe that in part, but today, I prayed fo...
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shellyj123
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1
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336
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Personality change
(Preview)
My partner has been sober this last time for one year, 5 months. He has been sober before and relapsed every time. Every time he got sober, including this time, it has only been because he would get mean, abuse me, I would have him arrested, and he would get sober in jail, then have to stay sober while on p...
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cg85719
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5
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2777
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chat room
(Preview)
Hi all, Not sure if I somehow got into the wrong room or what.......there is a meeting going on tonight...well there would be if there were people in the room. Mandy
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Mandy123
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1
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437
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Gratitude
(Preview)
I was going to call this post 'Sunday Gratitude,' but then I am trying to spend time daily in gatitude, so simply 'gratitude.' I used to be in the practice of spending a few minutes a day thinking about what I was grateful for that day. I found that the more I did it, the easier the "attitude of gratit...
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TLM
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4
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546
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alcoholism the disease
(Preview)
I have to post this after my convention I have so much I want to share and can not fit it all in one post. When I was t the covention I met a lot of amazing alocoholics in recovery. I have so much respect for these people when they share their stories of rock bottoms and gratitude for recovery I felt so very hu...
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Tracy
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3
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707
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feelings
(Preview)
I have been with my A boyfriend for almost 7 years now and have 2 little boys with him and 1 teenage boy from a previous marrage. I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago titled Alone and that really hasn't changed. I'm not sure anymore if my irritated, angry and alone feelings are a result of the drinking or no...
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Holly09
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2
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530
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You have got to be freakin kidding me!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
Just got off the phone with EXABF, and that is that. Basically I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling, and he said that I need to keep it in my mind that there is just a good a chance that he might decide it is best not to take things to the next level. That he feels alot of pressure because he hurt me befo...
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shellyj123
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4
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857
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Is letting go giving up? Feeling really alone today
(Preview)
Not sure what it is but today I just feel overwelming alone, for the first time in awhile. I think a lot of it may be the situation with EXABF, (and my son leaving for camp for a week is taking a toll too). I haven't been handling that well and have not been able to achieve the detachment that I know I need to h...
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shellyj123
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4
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778
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Flooded, Retreat Canceled, Hubby Checked out of Rehab
(Preview)
Well, GOD knows what is right for me. I think this is just another test that I have to pass. Yes, my garage and utility room have 3 inches of water and they are expecting more rain in about 4 hours. But I'm prepared, and I already put in my flood claim with my insurance company. I've packed my important...
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Sincerely
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14
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589
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OMG..when it rains..it floods (really, house flooded)
(Preview)
OMG, my dog was trying to tell me that this was going to be bad last night. my garage is flooded. one inch more and it will be in my house. i'm in south louisiana, i've seen flooding like this, but never in my home. i'm gonna get my important papers and my photos and i am out of here. i'll keep you posted. ...
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Sincerely
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8
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814
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The glorious gift of being able to mind your own business...
(Preview)
I spent some time with a long time friend over the past week. We've been friends nearly 15 years. She's wonderful. And what she's really really good at is minding her own business. She has a solid marriage, to a man who is not an A. They have a solid foundation and for the most part a very happy marriage...
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Rora
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6
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3126
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AH actively looking for 'love connection'
(Preview)
The xxxx xxxx. Except that he doesn't know that I know. He was clever enough to even leave his usernames and passwords written down for me. I would be concerned for the marriage (if I thought that we really have one left), and if I hadn't googled the sites to learn that they are scams that want to lure him i...
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deserve_more
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8
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754
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back to reality
(Preview)
I am trying to prepare for the summer and it looks like a long hard one for me. I'm trying to get some desperately needed dental work done as well as get new glasses. For me that means putting my head down and making that the focus. I'd love to hare some time off, relax and enjoy the scenery but my teeth are no...
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maresie
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4
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296
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new at this....
(Preview)
Hello, this is all fairly new to me. I found out a few weeks ago that my husband is addicted to cocaine and havnig a problem with alcohol as well. He stayed in a Rehab here in Houston, Texas for 16 days, he is now doing PHP (partial hospitalization) and living with his father at night. Its hard on me. I want hi...
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superwoman_311
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7
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477
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Video Record a drunk!
(Preview)
Hello everyone, this is my first visit and I would like some direction. My husband is a very serious drinker, starts first thing in the morning, and is drunk about 5 days a week. He lost is driving license when he went to pick up our daughters from school! He drinks at work and as we work together in our o...
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perrier
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4
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564
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in need
(Preview)
I am still not connecting with anyone in the f2f meetings...I am in need of a sponsor. I am looking for a female...who has worked the steps before. I would like someone who is a qualifier because of a spouse and/or an adult child of an A parent. I have been working the steps alone this time round...on St...
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brightmommy
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2
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346
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Update on A and his drinkin buddy
(Preview)
A and his buddy came back here around 3 a.m. I had the door locked and WOULD NOT let them in. They yelled and scream so I called the law. When they got here A and his buddy went to jail. Still there for all I know. A tried to call me collect but I fixed it where I can't get calls from jail. Had a good day, wen...
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Annie69
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5
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459
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& So the Disappointment continues... :+(
(Preview)
My mother just stop'd by to let me know the news of Abrothers Court day.... I can not stand the worthless people that they have working in our court systems... I don't know why We even pay their salary's... THEY LET HIM GO!!! AGAIN... I mean lets see... He is 29 yrs old, he has a record to date of (4) DWI's (GU...
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Jozie
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3
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373
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Pick'n Back Up
(Preview)
Ok... So been doing some thinkin on the whole Abrother thing, sat down with my Mom yesterday and told her what I have been telling all of you..June 1st is D-Day... The Final finally of it all... The day I am No Longer responsible for ANY A's in my family... That is the day that all my responsibilty to my Afat...
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Jozie
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6
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540
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would you rather......?
(Preview)
Hi Friends, I will be getting a root canal in the morning. Blech!! A consequence of what I believe to be the direct result of the self-neglect that came from the disease of co-dependency. It had been 2.5 yrs since I went to the dentist. Unbelievable. I used to go every 6 months. I love my teeth. I found out I...
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Loupiness
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9
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480
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Labels never helped me much
(Preview)
I "borrowed" the title of this post from a response from Glad Lee the other day, but it got me to thinking.... I don't like "labels", for us, or others, as it tends to lump too many people/personalities/circumstances as one.... Two of the really common ones that we see on this b...
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canadianguy
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11
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705
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Not even sure what to title this?
(Preview)
Alright I have never said this to anyone because I have never really thought of it. I think it's kind of part of step 4. I posted on here the last couple days about my A cheating and staying with this girl...I have been up and down and thinking A LOT. Here is what I have come up with. I was always afraid to have a...
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Melissa21
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9
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483
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A and his drinkin buddy
(Preview)
My A has a drinkin buddy that just got out of jail today. And buddy has called and called "drunk of course". His buddy has no place to stay and they want him to stay here. I told them both NO and No. A got mad a storm off to go drinkin with buddy. But before he left he said that I was a cold hearted...
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Annie69
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10
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475
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Easy does it~ How I used to hate those slogans:)
(Preview)
A lady in a meeting last week talked about how she hated the slogans when she first started AlAnon and thought they were trite, of course that was then. I had to laugh because I was the same way. How could a slogan or a little "chant" as I used to tease my EXABF ever solve or help my problems??...
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shellyj123
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3
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481
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Scared to death and confused
(Preview)
Yesterday I was leaving work and a friend called me to tell me that my AH's roommate (we don't live together) called her husband to ask for help cause my AH was talking funny and unintelligeble. Of course I freaked and started crying and calling people to see who could go see what was going on. End of story...
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Priscilla83
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6
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602
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Being codependent is the immediate response
(Preview)
Today one of my neighbors came up to me and revealed she is an animal lover just like me. I was really happy and my immediate response is to love bomb her with everything under the sun. Of course now I'm in recovery I don't love bomb anymore. I can't I know where that leads. I'm working hard to lead a life...
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maresie
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4
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499
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Humble comeback
(Preview)
Dear All, Well after a year or so of thinking I didn't need Alanon, either the board or f2f, I humbly return to the rooms where I found understanding like no other. Face to face meetings and now online, I find friends are still here plugging away as before. I have to really committ to the recovery program...
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silver brumby
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8
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592
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Has anyone seen my self esteem? Regaining focus.......
(Preview)
Well after the mounds of anxiety yesterday that I went through, I went home, regrouped and again crawled into bed with all my Al Anon books and started reading. I decided that I did not want to "stuff" my feelings over what EXABF had done and that I was not going to let it rob me of my sanity eith...
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shellyj123
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2
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482
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Another broken promise...I have run out of fingers and toes...
(Preview)
Today I came home from a shopping trip to WalMart. He's drunk. Made the last promise in November '08 to "never drink again." Fool that I am, I always hold out hope that this time....well you know how it goes. Am I angry? Yes. Does my heart hurt? Yes. Am I going to let it kill me? At one ti...
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Diva
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10
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633
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Detoxing from My A Hubby
(Preview)
I think I have detoxed, if you want to call it that! My A has been in recovery (inpatient) for 72 hours right now. It is wild! I thought he would leave, I would rejoyce and he'd get the help he needed and I'll get well. NOT...I had to go through a little process of my own. After three days of pulling mysel...
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Sincerely
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4
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617
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How Ironic... HP Thanks...
(Preview)
Ok well if you read yesterdays post you will all know the demons of yesterday... :) I would like to thank all that returned the favor and posted for me...Love All the ESH... Well today is the tell tail day, to see if the court system will yet again fail! But I guess that isn't up to me now is it? So got up, new th...
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Jozie
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1
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542
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individual
(Preview)
Met may A and softened when he said he is going to go to a meeting. However deep down I thought it was for my benefit as he knows I want him to attend aa so we are on the same prograame. On the day of the meeting I went to his house to give him a lift. We ended up having a really indepth coversation that got a lit...
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Tracy
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1
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529
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alanon v aca-which is better?
(Preview)
I've been going to alanon meetings which have been a great help (when I go). but I'm not actually living with activity now so I do qualify for alanon?? It's just my behaviour patterns I want to change but when I work the alanon steps they work perfectly. Alanon is good but a lot of people go on about alc...
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confusedgirl22
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4
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3332
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Going away for a long weekend - a little stressed - some ESH please
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I haven't posted here in quite a while, but I do pop in and visit pretty often. Since my last posting, my husband has been in recovery. To recap the past year of my life: AH was sober for over 15 years, relapsed for about 5 or 6 years, went to rehab in 2007 and remained sober 3 months, relaps...
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queenie105
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5
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442
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Remind me to Let Go & Let God :(
(Preview)
Well... Here we are again... Welp, today I got out of bed, felt pretty good, got up showered and got the boy movin for school, today was my day to volunteer up at my sons school I go up every wens. Mind ya I don't get to see my son, because the program I run is for the elementary, BUT since my neice & nephew a...
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Jozie
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3
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619
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Resistance
(Preview)
My family role is the "scapegoat". I hate myself for assuming such a weak coping mechanism. Intellectually I understand that I am an adult child and in a way, its a relief to get some sort of diagnosis. I went to psychologists, counsellors, CBT therapists, psychiatrists...the lot. All th...
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confusedgirl22
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3
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545
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Update?
(Preview)
My last post is here title lost and confused or something like that... Alright I have been doing a lot of thinking the past couple days. Probably not enough. I keep changing my mind on whether or not I want to stay. But as I REALLY think about it I really am waiting for him to decide if he is going to stop seein...
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Melissa21
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6
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471
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Another scared, lonely and sleepless night coming on
(Preview)
Daughter is supposed to go into hospital Thursday. She will not talk to me; I guess she is mad because I did not take her into my home. If I had, we would be no where near the idea of rehab. She would be in back bedroom drunk and I would be wondering what to do. Several years ago she worked in a cute little sho...
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clara
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6
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367
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