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Manipulation
(Preview)
I was reading today's reading (Nov. 9) in Courage to Change and it talked about manipulation. This reading had to do with the type of manipulation that we learn from living with alcoholics and the day to day life that kind of life changes us into. It states that, "Alcoholism can create such a thr...
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Overcome
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6
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1068
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Detachment need not always mean leaving
(Preview)
Has anyone else felt battered by well-meaning advice from others that the only way to survive an alcoholic partner is to up and leave? And do you feel, like me, you have loved this person for so long that now things have turned upside down (to put it politely) you cannot just walk out on what is a very sick p...
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Tattyhead
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7
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1025
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Turing it over but not stopping my part.
(Preview)
My part is the program and the giving away what I have learned since I got here which has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of others. I have never seen anything as powerful against the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction as the spiritual 12 steps and traditions of AA and Al-Anon. I've be...
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Jerry F
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4
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827
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Trouble setting boundaries
(Preview)
Hi all, During a recent visit to my therapist, we talked a lot about setting and keeping boundaries with my addict boyfriend. My problem is this: during the summer, I set a boundary that I believed I could stick to - that if my boyfriend used again, I would leave until he was clean. He was terrified of my le...
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Sangyaa
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8
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1066
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my ex wife
(Preview)
Haven't talk to my ex wife in a week , haven't slept much , had deleted her from one of my email acc. , but this morning , added her back but didn't send a invite mybe she send me one , I miss talking to her , today is going to be a hard day , but I hope I will get through it , beginnig of a new week , as she has been my best...
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john boy
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4
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680
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Reposting of: What do alanon and spiders have in common? (Yes you read that right)
(Preview)
HI all, I was reading some of my old post and came across this one I am reposting. It really fits where I am right now and even stranger I had spaghetti tonight for dinner (that will make more sense after you read the post I promise ). Here it is: Hi all, I was sitting here typing this morning and I saw a movemen...
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Mandy123
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11
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635
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Alive & well!
(Preview)
I am alive & well! Sometimes I don't feel particularly alive or well! Today I can actually say I am feeling pretty good. Had a long weekend but was able to keep in touch with my alanon friends. I am so grateful for them. My husband & I are getting along pretty well. He is trying so hard to put up w...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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400
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My realizations of the day...
(Preview)
1. I have lost 40 lbs since my ex bf and I broke up three months ago! WOOO HOOO!! 2. (Thanks for this shelly) my ex bf has totally shut me out of any kind of communication for many weeks now and it really pisses me off and I just realized today how the A feels when we shut them off. I'm angry with him for treat...
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carolinagirl
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4
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567
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drama, drama, drama
(Preview)
Relationships are work and hard work at that. Relationships with alcoholics are even harder! My husband is an alcoholic and has been going to AA for over 20 years. Currently he has 9 months of sobriety (I think, I posted it a while ago -- he knows to the day). But marriage is work -- often a roller coas...
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db55
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5
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656
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Happy 11th Birthday MIP Al-Anon Group
(Preview)
Just want say how thankful I am to MIP and all of the members for sharing and making this such a wonderful, supportive and safe place to come. Happy 11th Birthday, MIP Al-Anon Group! -- Edited by akristab on Sunday 8th of November 2009 04:52:28 PM -- Edited by akristab on Sunday 8th of November 2009 04:53...
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akristab
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4
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486
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No more guessing
(Preview)
I have been driving myself crazy for almost a week now wondering if my husband has been sneaking drinks since coming home from his 30-day in-patient treatment facility. Well today I got my answer and I didn't even have to snoop. It's his birthday and we used to have a tradition of having Birthday Mimos...
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N8SMOM
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5
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623
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Can Anyone Share How They Stay Strong.....
(Preview)
I am trying to cut off my financial support for my AS, I have tried and tried to help him get on his feet, but I have just enabled him. He has been ringing my phone since 11:00 AM today every ten minutes ( I am not answering it), and my nerves are frayed. I want to pull my hair out. Thanks for letting me vent.
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DreamsOver
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6
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665
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I AM FINALLY SLOWING DOWN...
(Preview)
I am finally slowing down sometimes without any choice. Lately my life has been pretty fast-paced but the last couple of days I have been slowing down a lot. With less sleep, I guess I don't have a lot of choice but to slow down. I am definitely in a growth period. Life is sometimes kicking my butt so I wil...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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625
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birthday , depression
(Preview)
This has been a depressing week , not much sleep , and depressed , for I am going through a rough time right now , today is my birthday , and I thought I would hear from my x today mabe telling me at least happy birthday , she was or has been a greatest friend that I could talk to about anything , and she was one o...
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john boy
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8
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753
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Totally Confused..........
(Preview)
So, my husband came home a little over 3 weeks ago after spending 90 days in treatment and I have to admit I'm really struggling with him being back home. The first three days he laid on the couch and watched movie after movie, with very little interaction with me or our three kids. I just kept thinking, h...
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mamaof3
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5
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673
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Prayers please
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), If there was ever a family that could use all your prayers it is this one. A friend of mine whose husband has cancer just lost her 29 year old son. She had taken her husband out of town for treatment. Her older son had just left the 29 year old son to go to work. When he came back a few hour...
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Karilynn
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12
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529
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feeling so alone tonight......
(Preview)
hi everyone, tonight is not a good night for me. my dh came home from work at 12 noon and started drinking. he went to bed at 4:30p.m. and is still sleeping. i have been sitting on the couch by myself all day. did a couple of loads of laundry and ate too much junk. (i am on weight watchers and said the hel...
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debhud
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6
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633
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Defeated
(Preview)
I have just been away for 5 days with my son, for a bit of R&R and have come back to a very sick AH who did not eat while I was away, just drank. My daughter did check on him and tried to get him to at least have the odd cup of tea - but I have had to call the GP (General Practitioner = family doctor) today. He is vo...
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Tattyhead
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11
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743
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2nd DUI Blues
(Preview)
First, I would like to thank Jerry F. and HotRod for responding to my post "Once Again." It has been almost a week since my husband's 2nd DUI. He left tonight because he realizes that I have so much anger in me. I realize that I'm acting like a spoiled child who doesn't get her way. But then, I...
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GailMichelle
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9
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1034
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Been a long journey, but im back
(Preview)
Hi MIP, it has been a long , rocky and emotional journey since i posted so long ago. Of course, i am right back where I started from because I didnt keep alanon with me. To sum life up, i took back my X who appeared to have the AA program down. With remorse, openness and heart on his sleeve he won back my mind a...
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inhisarms
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5
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471
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need your thoughts, prayers and ESH MIP family....
(Preview)
This week has been a test in so many ways, and in so many ways~ I failed miserably. After the insanity with the EXABF on Tuesday, it only got worse, before it just ended. I dont believe for five seconds that what he did was NOT intentional, and I told him that. This man can remember ENTIRE conversations...
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shellyj123
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7
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605
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Does he really need this much rest
(Preview)
As I mentioned, my husband came home from a 30-day in-patient treatment facility on Monday. Since then, he has been sleeping a lot during the day. He'll wake up at the same time as me in the morning, and then need to take a nap in the afternoon (usually for 3 hours) and then he'll go to bed early (around 7:...
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N8SMOM
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3
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610
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Living with Mr. Grumpy.
(Preview)
I think I told you all in my last post that my husband and I were talking again. The guy is so miserable and so agitated over little things that I was thinking back on how much I enjoyed the silent treatment. I feel like I'm growing cold hearted and again wondering if I should leave but guilt feelings are...
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dori711
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7
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662
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I would like to say thanks
(Preview)
to all of my family in MIP that are no longer living with active aism but still come to this place and offer their esh to all that are still living with it. I understand that it is not really about the A but I am not sure I would be here if I no longer had to deal with it every day. I sure do hope that I would, though...
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Gailey
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6
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497
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remembering what i have to be thankful for
(Preview)
((((((((((((Friends))))))))))))), I have been on the pitty pot lately, don't get me wrong I have had some awful things go wrong in my life lately, Today I have sat and realized just how lucky I am....my daughter survived that horrible car accident, granted she may need some surgery and she is not in th...
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Andrea12
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5
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618
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Prepping post
(Preview)
Aloha Family...This is a prepping post so that I can see my honest feelings in print and let you all take them apart and offer your experience, strength and hope and own personal honesty about it. I am 45 minutes away from a local Liquor Commission Hearing in my community and am feeling a slight more app...
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Jerry F
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8
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541
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Breath
(Preview)
Captured thoughts of a person (me) caught in the cycle of domestic (psychological) abuse: Breath One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. It's time for him to leave. It's time for him to leave. He's cutting off my air. I stand here in the square. Where do I go? I hate to leave you, but it's time to...
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Overcome
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3
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673
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AH just got an OVI, ugh!!!!!
(Preview)
I feel all foggy. In the past 2 weeks there have been 2 deaths of people I was close to. I am a cancer survivor and still fight the battle to this day. Right now I am in a "wait and see" holding pattern, sometimes called remission. But that aside, I am foggy because my friend just passed from lymph...
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wildthang86
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7
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610
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Need an online sponsor
(Preview)
I live in a rural community, the secretary here advised an online sponsor, I'd like to try it. I really have never worked the steps, but have come along way sonce finding alanon.
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Starla
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3
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1239
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Needing some ESH.....on talking to kids about disease and divorce.
(Preview)
Hi all, I was talking with my mom last night and I was sharing my struggle with talking to the kids about what is going on, wanting to talk to them about their feelings and not pushing too much. Then I said to her that I am grateful that it is required that I attend a parenting class for the divorce because I ca...
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Mandy123
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8
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627
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Overcome with feelings of sadness and loneliness
(Preview)
My Alcoholic husband, after 7 months clean, had a relapse. I saw it coming; I kept telling him that infrequent meetings and then no meetings would result in a relapse. Sure enough, he relapsed. Since the initial relapse, he agreed to go back to AA. However, I can tell that he is not fully committed t...
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cece
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5
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4168
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Getting Excited :o)
(Preview)
Well This weekend will be that of another Al-anon/ACOA "Newness" for me :o) I am Goin to a Convention... :) My 1st... And who knows.. Maybe some of you will be there as well :0) I'm accually gettin butterfly's in my belly over this..lol.. i know sounds silly, but I have my son off at a sitter for...
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Jozie
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3
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515
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I need God more than Ever
(Preview)
Another act from the devil in my daughters recovery. Yesterday went to pittsburgh sent us to the wrong dr. I was so angry but I maintained....go it straighten out told us to go to lunch will call as soon as the right dr is out of surgery. Anyway we were just sitting down to lunch 'xxxx' boyfriend says I c...
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Andrea12
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7
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544
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Cant imagine life with or without her
(Preview)
My alcoholic wife has apparently started drinking again after a month sober. Maybe she was never a month sober. We separated over 2 months ago and I have no plans to reconcile but still it has me crushed. I think I have this notion in the back of my head that she will get sober for a few years and then we will s...
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BatonRougian
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5
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570
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Detachment
(Preview)
I have a very difficult time right now with "detaching with love". I had to file an Order of Protection against my ex-A husband on Oct. 28. He was served Nov. 1. My court date is Nov. 9. Between those 5 days he called incessantly trying to get me to "reconsider counseling" and cryin...
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Overcome
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5
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618
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alcohol breathalyzer from Walgreens
(Preview)
Hi Everyone. I am new here but not new to alcoholism. Just new to dating one. I have my own set of problems that I continue dating someone who has lied and betrayed me so many times within 10 months of dating. I never wanted to date someone who is drinking heavily but ended up with someone who said he was in AA...
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impam
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10
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7393
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My turn on the chopping block.
(Preview)
It happened, my ABF ended the relationship today. Granted we had only been together since August, I had become quite attached. We spent every weekend together when he got a pass to leave the sober living house he's been staying at. I had no problems driving to see him, ect....the relationship was ver...
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Wanton
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9
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577
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update....ollie
(Preview)
hi to all my alanon family. its been a while since i wrote here,but have read and been with you everyday. for those that remember me,my a was arrested for stealing vodca from a supermarket . well its now 8 months later. he has been attending a alcoholic centre for 6 wks,not drank for 6 wks,after 8 yrs of utt...
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ollie
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2
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438
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Delicate topic
(Preview)
Hi All, I have been reading off and on all day since I joined recently and cannot beleive how much we all live the same lives. I ahve yet to see anythign on a topic that is currently registering a 10 on my resentment board. Sex and lack thereof. I will keep it brief... 11 years of marriage.. hubby has been an...
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angelbreeze127
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10
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849
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Prayers Please
(Preview)
Good morning ((((Family)))) For those of you who do so, could you please say a prayer for my mom? This morning she is having a hysterectomy performed. Thank you. Yours in Recovery, David
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david62
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21
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718
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Dating - how hillarious
(Preview)
Hello Everyone! Guess what? I went on a date. He suggested take out and a movie at his place. I suggested Starbucks! Starbucks it was. He was a gentleman. Opened my door, ordered my coffee and the whole nine yards. Good family and cute and sweet. This was our frist meeting. Sounds good so far? ...
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Sincerely
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7
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618
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the Lies...
(Preview)
OMG, the lies, the long drawn out stories , the fake phone calls, the stories he tells, the excuses. I could go on and on. I find it very hard to be comfortable with what crap he is telling others when he uses me as an excuse for something he is doing. How do you all deal with this... when he tells a story that y...
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angelbreeze127
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3
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644
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Keep an Open Mind
(Preview)
I'm finding this SO difficult lately. For me, keeping an open mind means not putting labels or judgments on experiences, people, places, things in my life. Lately, I'm back to a place of what feels like perpetual petulance. I'm so restless at work and despite that I'm getting paid to solve people's pr...
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RunnerChick
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4
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1579
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Dealing with a sick co-worker - feeling compassion
(Preview)
Sorry to double dip today family but, I'm really needing some E,S&H. One of my co-workers is so incredibly sick from her husband's illness. When asked how she is, she answers with her husband who is now reeling in the aftermath of a lifetime of alcoholism and suffering severely from chirrosis. No...
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RunnerChick
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3
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1522
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He's Home, Now What?
(Preview)
My husband came home from his 30-day treatment facility yesterday. After getting home, he went out to run some errands (pick up prescriptions and get a haircut) - he was gone for over 2 hours. Shortly after returning home, he went down into the basement to have some alone time and write in his journal...
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N8SMOM
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5
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726
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EXABF picks today of all days to reappear.........I wish he'd just die-i know that's terrible...
(Preview)
Well the EXABF decided to pick today, the 2 year anniversary of the day we met online, to email me and tell me that he would be updating his page and adding picts of the new girl he has been dating to his page. And that things didnt go well the last time we spoke(which was when I told him it was over and walked o...
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shellyj123
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7
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738
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Always feeling guilty
(Preview)
I never could let him go because I wasn't strong enough to say ENOUGH!! When I've had all I can take and show him the door I become ungrateful, heartless and cruel. I've had enough, I'm protecting my boundries. That doesn't make me a bad person. Our lives could be so much better.
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Starla
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2
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590
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overwhelmed
(Preview)
Hi! I am new to message boards. I've never started my own topic until this one. Just wondered if anyone else ever feels overwhelmed? I do feel hopeful at the Al-Anon face to face meetings that have been to (5 meetings, I think). I am finding it challenging to feel hopeful at home. The alcoholic is i...
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supermom
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3
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696
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WAKE UP!
(Preview)
I am ready to wake up & smell something. Maybe they are roses--maybe not but I know that I am ready for another growth period in my life. Every time I lose sleep, I feel ready to grow in some way. Right now as I sit here, I am focusing on what I am writing but at the same time so distant & disconnected....
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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523
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living in the moment - a real one
(Preview)
I thought I'd share a real, life-happens, story - a program friend in New York Mary (first names only - anon) built a business in New York from about 20 years ago. As a fellow young professional in the same business, I was first her client, then began to work with her. You see, Mary was a massive workaholi...
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alanonicScotland
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3
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630
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Your path to Acceptance
(Preview)
Can anyone share on their path that really got them to acceptance of the A in their life or for anything that was unacceptable to them. I seem to be stuck in sadness constantly. I really want to accept and move on with my life....I mean REALLY accept that this is the way it may be for the rest of my life.
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Gailey
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6
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808
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Two brief ephiphanies - two HUGE realities
(Preview)
I have had a lot of difficulty getting beyond Step 2. For the first time in a couple of years, I went to a f2f meeting and it happened to be a Step meeting - something I have always avoided because I have never been successful in working the steps of my program. Today's meeting was on Step 11 - a very intimidat...
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akristab
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3
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595
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:)
(Preview)
Greetings to you all :) Tonight, I hope to go to my second Ala non meeting (just depending on whether or not I can get a babysitter). I went to my first a few months ago as I was losing my mind dealing with my partner. After just that one meeting I had something FINALLY sink in. It was that I was NEVER going to be...
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Survivor
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4
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644
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feel like I am falling...I need to figure something out
(Preview)
I haven't been depressed in years and feel like I am falling into it and don't know what to do. Part of this is because I'm not going to meeting regularly - primarily because the ones in my area are not tradition based, and are run like prayer circles which does not work for me. Some program friends and I are...
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alanonicScotland
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3
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526
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Assuming the worst...pessamism
(Preview)
So I have been chatting on yahoo with this army guy in Iraq who is half my age and trying to seduce me... (that's another story within itself) and last night we were chatting away. It was the first time we had used the video chat and I was feeling a little under the weather and not looking great (in my mind)....
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carolinagirl
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7
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633
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Prayers for Christy's Mom please!
(Preview)
((((Family))), Christy's Mom is having brain surgery on Monday. I am asking for prayers for her and her family. Now Christy won't ask for prayers for herself, so I am going to do it. She's travelling today to her Mom's house. If we could keep both Christy's Mom and her in all of our prayers today and t...
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Karilynn
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13
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706
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new mom
(Preview)
Hi I hope I don't offend anyone, but I just don't get it. My adult daughter has struggled with an eating disorder for years and apparently now is also an alcoholic. She is married with a two year old. She got out of rehab 3 weeks ago and has already been drunk 3 different times. Each tme she swears she lea...
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mermaid1961
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2
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610
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Once Again
(Preview)
Well, I come to the board with a heavy heart once again. Back in 2004, my AH had gotten his first DUI. By 2007 I left our home and he headed for a 30-day rehab. In 2008, I move back home and he fell off the wagon every now and then. Last night, while driving home from a wedding with his mother in the vehicle, h...
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GailMichelle
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2
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635
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Expectations........How do you NOT have them? Any ESH appreciated.
(Preview)
This weekend was a different kind of weekend for me in many ways. I learned that I still have expectations of other people, and I have no idea how NOT to have expectations. I am trying hard to live and let live, and let people be themselves, but I also find that I do have expectations when it comes to others...
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shellyj123
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5
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535
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Sigh---
(Preview)
Hi, My name is Lisa and My husband is an alcoholic. I am 44 and we have been married over 20 years- he has been an alcaho;oc fpr the last 3. I will spare you the details because you all have similar stories. I have been attending al anon for about 9 months and I thank God every day for it. This weekend was a bad...
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Lisa K
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7
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564
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