The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This has been a depressing week , not much sleep , and depressed , for I am going through a rough time right now , today is my birthday , and I thought I would hear from my x today mabe telling me at least happy birthday , she was or has been a greatest friend that I could talk to about anything , and she was one of the best lovers I have ever been with , but certain things have arose lately , to where we haven't talked in a week , which I miss her dearly , which has been very hard for me !! It is tough when you live alone and no one to tell you that they love you every morning, which made the day go better , it really bits being alone on your birthday ,!!!! , I did get a meeting set up with a counslor this week to help me with what is going on, but I have to wait a couple of weeks until then , I just try to keep god with me ,but is so hard to even do that ,I guess I need some extra prayers , and some good coments to keep me going , thanks for reading this , john boy
I know it's not the same as hearing it from the one you love, but it's important to know you are not alone. I can recall many times when I had expectations about what I wanted frommy AH. Just for today, please don't drink on my birthday.......please?!! I was just setting myself for disappointment and learned way too slowly that I was nutjob for putting my happiness in the hands if someone as sick as my AH. LOL!
Anyway, glad you posted and glad you're getting some professional help. It helped me a lot. Not sure if you're also attending alanon meetings, but they help not to feel so alone and also strengthen recovery.
I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD BIRTHDAY! I REMEMBER ABOUT 16 YEARS AGO--IT SEEMS A BIT SILLY NOW BUT MY EXAH LEFT ME RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY! I WAS DEVASTATED BUT EVENTUALLY GOT OVER IT OF COURSE. THE REASON WHY I AM MENTIONING THIS IS BECAUSE I DID GET OVER IT! NOW 16 YEARS LATER, I AM MARRIED & HAPPY! HE DIDN'T RUIN MY LIFE BY LEAVING AT THAT TIME! I TRY NOT TO THINK OF IT BUT EVERY NOW & THEN I DO. FOR WHAT IT IS WORTH: I GET IT!
Not any great insight, as i am struggling myself! Just wanted to remind you that your birthday is special because it is you. Not about anyone else, its a celebration of you! So celebrate you and treat yourself the best you can
__________________
What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Hecato, Greek philosopher
Just wanted to say thank you , and thanks to those that might wish for me , A week ago I thought I could go without god in my life , for what was going on , because I had lost all faith in him at that time , but he seemed to be there all the time ,but I was hoping that me and my x would reconcile , as she stated what she thought I need to do , so I started working on that and we had prayed together , and found out she was playing me , but I still love her for what it is worth , well thankis for listening again , john boy
Aloha John and Happy Birthday...I never did like that kind of insanity and have had it happen several times in my life. What I found out was that actually I did need to have time alone...away from the problem I had no control over and just quiet and stillness time so that I could come in contact with my HP. That took me a while to do because there was much I had to learn first. Quiet and still and an open mind brought me to understanding in the program and then I was able to connect with my HP. I had to give up my alcoholic as my HP first and I'm glad that came about. No change is easy to take or get right off hand so hang around for a while and listen and learn. Face to face meetings were such great tools for me during the ups and downs. (((((hugs)))))
John Boy, Happy Birthday to you! I love birthdays and I hate when people don't make a big deal about mine! Do something nice for yourself today because you deserve it! Sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time right now. I will say a prayer for you and I know that things will get better.
John boy, First let me wish you a happy belated birthday. I hope you did something nice for yourself.
Last year at the time of my birthday I was seperated from my hub and he did text me a happy birthday and that made me feel worse. I thought it can't be happy because you are still using and we aren't toghether. That was me putting the focus on him and not on me. I was so full of doubt, anger, and resentments and fear over my choice to have him leave that I was unable to let go.
We hub and I reconciled a few months after that and the disease led us back to the same point, I asked him to leave again.
The difference? I really threw myself into my program before I asked him to leave and this time I have no doubts, I am angry (but working on it this time), and I am also workign on the rest. I am not focused on him so I am able to let him go a little more. I still have fear that his disease with be the end of him, which is where my struggle to let go is at.
This year coming year for my birthday I am sure I will feel a little sad that he isn't there, but I know that I can have a great day without him. I have a great support system full of family and friends that I know love me.
You keep working your program...and you to can have the same support system of people who love you. It's all in the suggested closing of an al-anon meeting..you are already loved.
Keep coming back.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
__________________
"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
![[image]](http://bestsmileys.com/birthday2/8.gif)
