Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

One of my neighbors is reaching a bottom of sorts. She is behaving much like the ex A did when he reached a sort of bottom, I thnk there were many more after that. She blames everyone else in the world for her issues, projects all her issues over others and feels like a victim. When the ex A was doing that a...

FuzzyLogic · FuzzyLogic

I am new here. I came here because I need help. My heart is slowly breaking and I find myself putting up walls that I do not want erected. The more my ABF throws bricks at me the larger the wall becomes. This is not the life I want. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. He created havoc in our lives as children and m...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Well he came and got his stuff went ok until the end when he took a shot at me and I gave him a slam back. Oh well, it's over. Still a lot left of today and I think I will sweep my patio it's covered with leaves and stuff from a storm yesterday. Hope it will make me feel like I moved forward. Amen, fishinmama

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, As many of you know I am at the beginning of divorcing my husband. This is something I feel is right for me and as much as it hurts, I want this. Well he told me last night that he is leaving the state Wednesday and isn't planning on coming back. I am so mad at him for this. In order for the divorce to be...

alanonicScotland · alanonicScotland

I haven't been as active as I'd like on here, and thank you to people who have been supportive to me so far. I thought I'd share some ESH on Asking for Help: Q. Unfortunately, Al Anon where I live is going through some tough times - politics, control, fighting, not following traditions...*I asked for hel...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

My wife just got a DUI about half an hour ago. She managed to call me, so I went to the scene. Convinced them to just leave her car there since it was legally parked. Guess I'll probably be picking her up at the station in about an hour. I hope she doesn't refuse the breathalyzer. I had really hoped she w...

supermom · supermom

My recovering alcoholic husband is very down in the dumps today. I am wondering if he is taking his medication. Haven't asked because I am afraid that he might react in an angry way. Either he is taking it and it isn't really helping him or he isn't taking it. I can't make him take the medicine. He is a...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi MIP Family :) What a last 3 days, I am Woop'd Yet can't sleep, so here I am... I have some examples of my Downs: Son about got head takin off by a soccer ball Lost the game Grandma Still in the Hospital, Uncle Still in Hospital Missed My Boy... :o) Brother & Sis Still not talking to each other Niece dati...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was on the pc yesterday while my son was in the other room watching Fenius and Ferb, a children's cartoon show. and was listening to the show from my comfy pc chair. I was literally amazed at it. The whole jist of the show was What Super hero would you be and what would be your powers? etc.........Then th...

fishinmama · fishinmama

hello room, Today the ex boyfriend is coming to get the things of his that are still at my house. I am needless to say anxious. I hope I can conduct myself in a way that is in step with my hp. No finger pointing, no mention of new gf or marriage. Make the spilt. I am trying to remember the good and the painf...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF has slipped over the past couple of weeks (after 6 months sober)after the death of his 5 month old nephew. Last weekend he went missing and never got in touch then a couple of days ago I had to get in touch because my daughter needed her phone which he had. He said he was trying to sort himself out was...

jasobel · jasobel

I am new to Alanon - I just went to my first meeting last week, second meeting this week. I really feel like I need a sponsor ASAP, but I have only attended two meetings. They say you are to find someone who you want to ASK to be your sponsor but I don't know any of the members well enough, or even how long they ha...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

I went to my first meeting yesterday and it's ironic that what I went home to afterwards was a nightmare. I liked it and will keep going back. Unfortunately, I can't afford the literature so I'll just have to listen and do online readings for now. Literature can come later, right? AFiance was drunk...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My sober exAH's g/f is an A, supposedly sober. My 16 yr old son once described her kind of in a quandry, as "more like someone I go to school with than an adult" and has said that he sees the relationship his dad has with her as "not something that will last; more like a highschool romance&...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Family)))) Soooo, tonight, like just about every other Thursday night for the last 5 years and 7 months, I set out to attend my out-of-town Al-Anon meeting. This meeting is about an hour drive from my home. At the halfway point of this drive I pass through a small town that has an "at-g...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi My ABF never contacted me yesterday with money or phone I got on wiyth my day but could nt help ringing his phone before I went to bed last night it was off so looks like he has gone on bender again with the money. Hes going right back to where he was before his 6 months sobriety. I am healthiers today and I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am feeling better about going to the gratitude banquet tonight although it is going to be a long day & I am tired. Yesterday I posted about my A taking his fellow A to the train station. I feel differently today about it. I just realized that he was doing someone a huge favor & that I needed to let...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, I thought it would be a good idea to post here tonight. I'm looking for some ESH and maybe for my HP to give me a clue on this question. For background, many of you know that I am with an active AH. We've been together a long time (> 25 years all told) and have a teenage son. We originally came t...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Hello alanon family. New here and I am truly qualified . I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 4 years, had been married to an addict, folks were alcoholic, brother alcohlic/addict. I am very familar with alanon, but got cured and left for awhile. I have read your board here for the l...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone! Why does it still bother me that my husband can't be there for me? I know that when we put expectations on someone other than GOD we are let down. I don't think its expectations, I think its hope or wishes. What's the difference? I dunno sometimes. I've set a boundary and asked him to lea...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I'm so tired of always seeming to take a step forward and feeling pretty decent to then taking two steps back. I feel I never make any progress!! I know that I can't just get over my AH overnight, but I'm tired of feeling sad and thinking about it. Sometimes I hate my brain and wish I could get some shock t...

Diva · Diva

My A partner has honed selfishness into a fine art. I know, I know. All of them are selfish; of this I have no doubt. But you would think that one who went on a binge, boarded an airplane for London, stayed a week in the Dorchester Hotel there and had the nerve to come back, would be just a bit contrite. Af...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I think I will continue to be amazed at the power this program can have on a person. I had a hard time seeing it in the past becuase my "A" insisted that Al-anon was not working for me. I didn't realize then that validation was needed, but it was. Now I am getting validation from all sorts o...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((Family))))))))) I know I haven't been around much and when I do come around I seem quite...I do apologize for this but I have had a lot going on in my life. I am going in for major surgery on Dec 2 and am scared to death. I believe in the power of prayer and I am asking those of you that pray to please ad...

Dini · Dini

I know it is a choice and I don't want to feel guilty - I think it is the hardest emotion for me to control. My AH has offered up what he feels he can do to save the marriage. I have been through this before and of course, I don't have faith. Nor, does it change how I feel about him or our marriage. I didn't ask him t...

jasobel · jasobel

Please help me work through this. I have a very deep spiritual base in my life. I have always communicated with my HP on a regular basis as my best friend, confidant and advisor. My Alcoholic Ex left me three weeks ago and I am having a very hard time now questioning how a higher power who loves me would take...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I realized today that the mental and physical exhaustion, coupled with weight gain due to medical issues is slowly taking huge toll, and I am sliding quickly into depression. Fears and worry about what if's regarding my pending surgery are creeping in more often than I can count lately. I am trying t...

Rora · Rora

I've fallen from my program and I'm having a hard time getting back on. In working the steps I realized that admitting was first, then believing was next. I saw quickly that for me, without being able to believe in an HP that I could not do this "on my own". For a while I was feeling good about m...

Tracy · Tracy

I came to the board earlier feeling lonely and depressed lots of negative thinking and self pity. I ready quite a few posts before I decided to post thankfully. GUESS What my mood had changed I didnt feel alone or depressed anymore. just want to say thanks to you all I know you all get as much as I do from A...

cassidy2010 · cassidy2010

Today I took a time out from my own troubles.I mean really what good am I doing wallowing in self pity.Maybe ,I'm not sure what I need to do right now this moment in my own life.I started looking around.No more tears atleast for today.Maybe if I could bring a smile to someone elses face I might just find a sm...

grateful · grateful

I've been an alanon member for about 6 years now. When I started I was married to an active abusive alcoholic, and we divorced. I began working on myself and found myself quite serene most days. I began a relationship with a terrific normal man who was everything I wanted in a partner. He moved in with me a...

maresie · maresie

I would like to spend the next hundred years taking the inventory of the ex A. What I've learned recently from watching other people engaging in the madness of trying to squeeze something out of an alcoholic is that I had my part. One sure thing is the more impossible the relationship was, the higher t...

Holly09 · Holly09

That is what I feel my A boyfriend of 7 yrs is right now. He grew up in a family that didn't discuss how they felt and this is how he is now, the time bomb part is that last year he lost his mom to lung cancer and I also lost my dad to lung cancer. Both times he does what the A does to make them selves feel better (or...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Anyone know anything about lawyer stuff??? The company my AH works for is a small company that is owned by two guys that are also his buddies. They both have issues as well, with alcohol and drugs problems. Anyway, the one owner, Jason, he's getting a divorce from his wife. Well...his wife owns a porti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am a bit annoyed today because last night my husband drove another A to catch the train. I t wasn't so much that he took the guy(well.. a little) but that it was all of a sudden sort of & it was a 2 hour trip one way plus he left late enough that I was thinking about going to bed early--long story short: I...

cassidy2010 · cassidy2010

Well, I'm not sure where to start.Don't know if I am even in the right place.Truthfully I am kinda scared to be on here because I am afraid my husband will read this.I worry because he has already had friends hack several of my accounts but I need to talk to someone because sitting here crying isn't help...

jasobel · jasobel

This has been my first week in alanon - thank God for this onilne group. I can't get to many group meetings because I am a single mom but I do go once a week - need to go more. Is it overwhelming at first? All of the emotions that surface from hearing others tell their story - all of the realizations of how this d...

c_k_71 · c_k_71

i have been reading others post here for a little while now but this is my first post. i am thankful for the availability of this online. sometimes i would come on & read stuff while my bf was snoring in a drunkin stupor next to me and it defintly helped! im frustrated not with him, but with myself. i...

dori711 · dori711

My husband is better now. He hasn't quit drinking and I'm hoping that he knows that the last time I just about had it with him. He cut down some on his drinking, but I'm not putting my head in the sand because he still drinks and still acts like a jerk. He blew up at me a couple of times and instead of defend...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My addicted son is now 29 years old, I have been dealing with him for the last ten years, and I have now come to a place in the relationship that I have detached. I don't cry and beg anymore, I don't try to run after him and try to keep up with who and what he is getting into. I know I am better off for it, but here...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I had my first initial status conference today with my AH...I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I was thinking that he wouldn't get real parenting time with his 16 year long history of documented drinking and drug use. That really didn't get brought up today, and our temporary orders hearing is...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Things in my life seem to have settled somewhat and for that I am grateful. I however am and have been struggling with worry and letting go and trying to just live in THIS day. I know all the reasons I should and I know that I should but it is just hard to do right now. I am having to have surgery the week before...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband's DUI sentencing was today and by all accounts, he should be in jail right now. Unfortunately, thanks to his lawyer and that stupid judge, his sentencing has been postponed a (2nd time) until JANUARY 12!!!!!! I was really looking forward to him not being here for Christmas. He has mana...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH have been apart for a year. I am just now seeing how I have been damaged by living with an A for so long. Someone here posted a while ago an acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. That really stuck with me and I see that I am enmeshed with fear. While living with my A he would go through bouts of c...

Desperate_2275 · Desperate_2275

Hi - I'm new here... I've been reading some posts and just registered myself today. My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years but we've been together for 12 years and friends for about 20 yrs or so.... So here goes - I'm going to give a little description... For years my husband has had some s...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband is acting like a total jerk these days. We had a huge blow-up yesterday morning (mostly about him getting drunk and "checking out" on us). Of course his usual response to that is that he checks out on me, not our son. Then he ended up spending the ENTIRE day in the guest room (from...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Sometimes I have doubt that my soon to be ex AH has a problem. When I look through my journal, and back at our lives together (20 years together) and I remember all those binges he went on, the four times he was in rehab, the many many hospital visits, I know he has a problem. But then he'll be able to contro...

cdngirl · cdngirl

AH called me and asked if it was ok for him to go out for drinks with his coworkers after work today. What is a good response to this? He has been to two AA meetings, but that was three weeks ago. He is now trying to control it on his own again, hoping he can be a social drinker. I know that's not possible, but I...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF had a slip after 6 months last weekend. He has really worked the programme and could not have tried harder then bang hes gone again. I ended this relationship in March and he ent into AA all my hope returned so we got back together as he wastrying to get better. But today I am on my knees I ca not fight...

serching-sandy · serching-sandy

hi.. I say new to helping me because, I'm just starting to realize how much I have been protecting this wonderful family secret.. It started when I was born.. I don't remember much from my earlier years, but I know that I always kept it quiet, my parents just didn't feel well. my dads job was stressful...

Gailey · Gailey

My A son came out of a 28 day rehab and drank , I think, the following day. His insurance from his job, which he didn't return to, expired 10/31. He made sure to go to his therapist who prescribes his antidepressant on 10/28 so to be sure he had more refills before his insurance ran out. He just calls me this m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My dad recently sent all those he loves a special poem about God. I didn't know that he liked to write poetry. It really moved me. I love my dad very much. He lives about 900 miles away from me. Anyhow, I just wanted to share that with you all. I won't post the poem at this time but I just wanted to let you know t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Here's an old photo of Tim & I taken 20 years ago at the university. I should be that thin today. The other 2 are Pipers playing Sorry last night w/my niece and I. Pipers didn't win, but she did take control of the board! Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

Hangin-On · Hangin-On

Im new here. Kinda unsure of what to think yet, but I am really in need of a place to vent where people can understand what I am going threw and to hear stories of what others are going threw as well. Im at my wits end with my husband. And although we have been threw SO MUCH DRAMA this year regarding his drinkin...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It's my oldest sons 19th birthday today...I'm so proud of the man he's become and I love him and all my kids with all my heart. They are my life, I would do anything for them. Today I got an email from an atty that my AH obtained today, it was a pretty nasty email, that made me break down and cry. I was shock...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

For weeks I have been saying that I'm looking forward to my husband going to jail - I've been so mad at him for drinking after rehab, I just wanted him away so he wouldn't ruin my Christmas. Yesterday I was in a traffic accident and it really shook me. It has brought out a fear in me - a fear of being alone. M...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Hello, I am your disease I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed mill...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Sometimes I honestly think that work is my safe place, the place where I can go and do what I need to....X Y Z and that is it. I know what is expected of me, what dates it needs done and who to go to when I need help. It's the simplest part of my life some days......not lately, but some days. The weekend starte...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... This weekend was one of those roller Coasters I have been attemping to avoid here of late... I just need to get it out of my head...ESH would be a wonderful gift on times like this for me... :) Friday 13th was the best of it all :) I went to ol' Home f2f Meeting, it was a full house we were smooched there w...

canadianguy · canadianguy

(Feeling in a reflective mood tonight, so this is a re-post of one I posted in 2006.... still very applicable today...) Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	reliving the death of a relationship (Preview) One of my neighbors is reaching a bottom of sorts. She is behaving much like the ex A did when he reached a sort of bottom, I thnk there were many more after that. She blames everyone else in the world for her issues, projects all her issues over others and feels like a victim. When the ex A was doing that a...	maresie	8	965	Nov 24, 2009 by maresie
	Brick by Brick the walls go up (Preview) I am new here. I came here because I need help. My heart is slowly breaking and I find myself putting up walls that I do not want erected. The more my ABF throws bricks at me the larger the wall becomes. This is not the life I want. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. He created havoc in our lives as children and m...	FuzzyLogic	7	966	Nov 24, 2009 by hotrod
	One more step (Preview) Well he came and got his stuff went ok until the end when he took a shot at me and I gave him a slam back. Oh well, it's over. Still a lot left of today and I think I will sweep my patio it's covered with leaves and stuff from a storm yesterday. Hope it will make me feel like I moved forward. Amen, fishinmama	fishinmama	1	578	Nov 24, 2009 by Andrea12
	Prayers Please (Preview) Hi family, As many of you know I am at the beginning of divorcing my husband. This is something I feel is right for me and as much as it hurts, I want this. Well he told me last night that he is leaving the state Wednesday and isn't planning on coming back. I am so mad at him for this. In order for the divorce to be...	Mandy123	10	528	Nov 24, 2009 by Andrea12
	ESH - Good News, Asking for help (Preview) I haven't been as active as I'd like on here, and thank you to people who have been supportive to me so far. I thought I'd share some ESH on Asking for Help: Q. Unfortunately, Al Anon where I live is going through some tough times - politics, control, fighting, not following traditions...*I asked for hel...	alanonicScotland	3	806	Nov 24, 2009 by Mariner
	Well apparently I didn't have long to wait. (Preview) My wife just got a DUI about half an hour ago. She managed to call me, so I went to the scene. Convinced them to just leave her car there since it was legally parked. Guess I'll probably be picking her up at the station in about an hour. I hope she doesn't refuse the breathalyzer. I had really hoped she w...	FlyingSquirrel	6	545	Nov 23, 2009 by LearningTheRopes
	don't think alcoholic is taking his meds...need some serenity (Preview) My recovering alcoholic husband is very down in the dumps today. I am wondering if he is taking his medication. Haven't asked because I am afraid that he might react in an angry way. Either he is taking it and it isn't really helping him or he isn't taking it. I can't make him take the medicine. He is a...	supermom	3	690	Nov 23, 2009 by supermom
	Down N Back up... (Preview) Hi MIP Family :) What a last 3 days, I am Woop'd Yet can't sleep, so here I am... I have some examples of my Downs: Son about got head takin off by a soccer ball Lost the game Grandma Still in the Hospital, Uncle Still in Hospital Missed My Boy... :o) Brother & Sis Still not talking to each other Niece dati...	Jozie	3	719	Nov 23, 2009 by Andrea12
	Multi-Woman saves the day!!! What superhero would you be? (Preview) I was on the pc yesterday while my son was in the other room watching Fenius and Ferb, a children's cartoon show. and was listening to the show from my comfy pc chair. I was literally amazed at it. The whole jist of the show was What Super hero would you be and what would be your powers? etc.........Then th...	shellyj123	4	811	Nov 23, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	a test of serenity (Preview) hello room, Today the ex boyfriend is coming to get the things of his that are still at my house. I am needless to say anxious. I hope I can conduct myself in a way that is in step with my hp. No finger pointing, no mention of new gf or marriage. Make the spilt. I am trying to remember the good and the painf...	fishinmama	2	833	Nov 23, 2009 by hotrod
	He wants to meet (Preview) My ABF has slipped over the past couple of weeks (after 6 months sober)after the death of his 5 month old nephew. Last weekend he went missing and never got in touch then a couple of days ago I had to get in touch because my daughter needed her phone which he had. He said he was trying to sort himself out was...	Tracy	6	829	Nov 23, 2009 by maresie
	How do I find a sponsor (Preview) I am new to Alanon - I just went to my first meeting last week, second meeting this week. I really feel like I need a sponsor ASAP, but I have only attended two meetings. They say you are to find someone who you want to ASK to be your sponsor but I don't know any of the members well enough, or even how long they ha...	jasobel	3	1908	Nov 23, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	First FTF meeting and a terrible night (Preview) I went to my first meeting yesterday and it's ironic that what I went home to afterwards was a nightmare. I liked it and will keep going back. Unfortunately, I can't afford the literature so I'll just have to listen and do online readings for now. Literature can come later, right? AFiance was drunk...	Ragdolls	7	653	Nov 23, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	Protecting my kids with sanity (I hope!) (Preview) My sober exAH's g/f is an A, supposedly sober. My 16 yr old son once described her kind of in a quandry, as "more like someone I go to school with than an adult" and has said that he sees the relationship his dad has with her as "not something that will last; more like a highschool romance&...	Loupiness	3	624	Nov 22, 2009 by serendipity
	Another lesson on listening to HP (Preview) Hello ((((Family)))) Soooo, tonight, like just about every other Thursday night for the last 5 years and 7 months, I set out to attend my out-of-town Al-Anon meeting. This meeting is about an hour drive from my home. At the halfway point of this drive I pass through a small town that has an "at-g...	david62	10	954	Nov 22, 2009 by maresie
	gone again (Preview) Hi My ABF never contacted me yesterday with money or phone I got on wiyth my day but could nt help ringing his phone before I went to bed last night it was off so looks like he has gone on bender again with the money. Hes going right back to where he was before his 6 months sobriety. I am healthiers today and I...	Tracy	1	699	Nov 22, 2009 by Rocky38
	Feelin' better about today! (Preview) I am feeling better about going to the gratitude banquet tonight although it is going to be a long day & I am tired. Yesterday I posted about my A taking his fellow A to the train station. I feel differently today about it. I just realized that he was doing someone a huge favor & that I needed to let...	Hoot Nanny	2	679	Nov 22, 2009 by Rocky38
	Difficult detachment (Preview) Hi MIP family, I thought it would be a good idea to post here tonight. I'm looking for some ESH and maybe for my HP to give me a clue on this question. For background, many of you know that I am with an active AH. We've been together a long time (> 25 years all told) and have a teenage son. We originally came t...	Rocky38	7	1908	Nov 22, 2009 by Rocky38
	Am I nuts? (Preview) Hello alanon family. New here and I am truly qualified . I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 4 years, had been married to an addict, folks were alcoholic, brother alcohlic/addict. I am very familar with alanon, but got cured and left for awhile. I have read your board here for the l...	fishinmama	7	833	Nov 22, 2009 by fishinmama
	Why does it still bother me? (Preview) Hello Everyone! Why does it still bother me that my husband can't be there for me? I know that when we put expectations on someone other than GOD we are let down. I don't think its expectations, I think its hope or wishes. What's the difference? I dunno sometimes. I've set a boundary and asked him to lea...	Sincerely	5	1173	Nov 22, 2009 by Karilynn
	One step forward...two steps back (Preview) I'm so tired of always seeming to take a step forward and feeling pretty decent to then taking two steps back. I feel I never make any progress!! I know that I can't just get over my AH overnight, but I'm tired of feeling sad and thinking about it. Sometimes I hate my brain and wish I could get some shock t...	sdisnie	3	789	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	Selfishness (Preview) My A partner has honed selfishness into a fine art. I know, I know. All of them are selfish; of this I have no doubt. But you would think that one who went on a binge, boarded an airplane for London, stayed a week in the Dorchester Hotel there and had the nerve to come back, would be just a bit contrite. Af...	Diva	8	780	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	Choosing Recovery (Preview) Hi all, I think I will continue to be amazed at the power this program can have on a person. I had a hard time seeing it in the past becuase my "A" insisted that Al-anon was not working for me. I didn't realize then that validation was needed, but it was. Now I am getting validation from all sorts o...	Mandy123	3	808	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	prayers needed please (Preview) (((((((((Family))))))))) I know I haven't been around much and when I do come around I seem quite...I do apologize for this but I have had a lot going on in my life. I am going in for major surgery on Dec 2 and am scared to death. I believe in the power of prayer and I am asking those of you that pray to please ad...	shadow1	14	665	Nov 21, 2009 by Maria123
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) I know it is a choice and I don't want to feel guilty - I think it is the hardest emotion for me to control. My AH has offered up what he feels he can do to save the marriage. I have been through this before and of course, I don't have faith. Nor, does it change how I feel about him or our marriage. I didn't ask him t...	Dini	4	578	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	Trusting your higher power (Preview) Please help me work through this. I have a very deep spiritual base in my life. I have always communicated with my HP on a regular basis as my best friend, confidant and advisor. My Alcoholic Ex left me three weeks ago and I am having a very hard time now questioning how a higher power who loves me would take...	jasobel	11	841	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	Baby steps.......... (Preview) I realized today that the mental and physical exhaustion, coupled with weight gain due to medical issues is slowly taking huge toll, and I am sliding quickly into depression. Fears and worry about what if's regarding my pending surgery are creeping in more often than I can count lately. I am trying t...	shellyj123	3	568	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	I've fallen...how do I get up? Reconnecting with HP (Preview) I've fallen from my program and I'm having a hard time getting back on. In working the steps I realized that admitting was first, then believing was next. I saw quickly that for me, without being able to believe in an HP that I could not do this "on my own". For a while I was feeling good about m...	Rora	6	700	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	This board (Preview) I came to the board earlier feeling lonely and depressed lots of negative thinking and self pity. I ready quite a few posts before I decided to post thankfully. GUESS What my mood had changed I didnt feel alone or depressed anymore. just want to say thanks to you all I know you all get as much as I do from A...	Tracy	4	663	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	timeout from me (Preview) Today I took a time out from my own troubles.I mean really what good am I doing wallowing in self pity.Maybe ,I'm not sure what I need to do right now this moment in my own life.I started looking around.No more tears atleast for today.Maybe if I could bring a smile to someone elses face I might just find a sm...	cassidy2010	4	553	Nov 21, 2009 by xeno59
	Would like an alanon perspective please (Preview) I've been an alanon member for about 6 years now. When I started I was married to an active abusive alcoholic, and we divorced. I began working on myself and found myself quite serene most days. I began a relationship with a terrific normal man who was everything I wanted in a partner. He moved in with me a...	grateful	7	957	Nov 21, 2009 by maresie
	my own part (Preview) I would like to spend the next hundred years taking the inventory of the ex A. What I've learned recently from watching other people engaging in the madness of trying to squeeze something out of an alcoholic is that I had my part. One sure thing is the more impossible the relationship was, the higher t...	maresie	5	1419	Nov 21, 2009 by maresie
	The ticking time bomb (Preview) That is what I feel my A boyfriend of 7 yrs is right now. He grew up in a family that didn't discuss how they felt and this is how he is now, the time bomb part is that last year he lost his mom to lung cancer and I also lost my dad to lung cancer. Both times he does what the A does to make them selves feel better (or...	Holly09	1	647	Nov 21, 2009 by Debilyn
	Conflict of Interest? (Preview) Anyone know anything about lawyer stuff??? The company my AH works for is a small company that is owned by two guys that are also his buddies. They both have issues as well, with alcohol and drugs problems. Anyway, the one owner, Jason, he's getting a divorce from his wife. Well...his wife owns a porti...	sdisnie	6	715	Nov 21, 2009 by Debilyn
	A bit annoyed (Preview) I am a bit annoyed today because last night my husband drove another A to catch the train. I t wasn't so much that he took the guy(well.. a little) but that it was all of a sudden sort of & it was a 2 hour trip one way plus he left late enough that I was thinking about going to bed early--long story short: I...	Hoot Nanny	1	597	Nov 20, 2009 by nmike
	New here (Preview) Well, I'm not sure where to start.Don't know if I am even in the right place.Truthfully I am kinda scared to be on here because I am afraid my husband will read this.I worry because he has already had friends hack several of my accounts but I need to talk to someone because sitting here crying isn't help...	cassidy2010	15	678	Nov 20, 2009 by supermom
	Starting Alanon - is it always this hard (Preview) This has been my first week in alanon - thank God for this onilne group. I can't get to many group meetings because I am a single mom but I do go once a week - need to go more. Is it overwhelming at first? All of the emotions that surface from hearing others tell their story - all of the realizations of how this d...	jasobel	12	1343	Nov 20, 2009 by wp
	frustrated but thankful (Preview) i have been reading others post here for a little while now but this is my first post. i am thankful for the availability of this online. sometimes i would come on & read stuff while my bf was snoring in a drunkin stupor next to me and it defintly helped! im frustrated not with him, but with myself. i...	c_k_71	1	667	Nov 20, 2009 by Debilyn
	Better but still concerned. (Preview) My husband is better now. He hasn't quit drinking and I'm hoping that he knows that the last time I just about had it with him. He cut down some on his drinking, but I'm not putting my head in the sand because he still drinks and still acts like a jerk. He blew up at me a couple of times and instead of defend...	dori711	2	695	Nov 20, 2009 by angelchar375
	Feeling Gulity About Detachment.... (Preview) My addicted son is now 29 years old, I have been dealing with him for the last ten years, and I have now come to a place in the relationship that I have detached. I don't cry and beg anymore, I don't try to run after him and try to keep up with who and what he is getting into. I know I am better off for it, but here...	DreamsOver	5	961	Nov 19, 2009 by justducky
	I don't get it.... :( Why does my AH always seem to win? (Preview) I had my first initial status conference today with my AH...I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I was thinking that he wouldn't get real parenting time with his 16 year long history of documented drinking and drug use. That really didn't get brought up today, and our temporary orders hearing is...	sdisnie	7	669	Nov 19, 2009 by serendipity
	Trying so very hard to stay in the now...ESH needed (Preview) Things in my life seem to have settled somewhat and for that I am grateful. I however am and have been struggling with worry and letting go and trying to just live in THIS day. I know all the reasons I should and I know that I should but it is just hard to do right now. I am having to have surgery the week before...	shellyj123	4	1098	Nov 19, 2009 by nmike
	You Gotta Love Our Judicial System (Preview) My husband's DUI sentencing was today and by all accounts, he should be in jail right now. Unfortunately, thanks to his lawyer and that stupid judge, his sentencing has been postponed a (2nd time) until JANUARY 12!!!!!! I was really looking forward to him not being here for Christmas. He has mana...	N8SMOM	3	1063	Nov 19, 2009 by cassidy2010
	The damage done by living with an A (Preview) My AH have been apart for a year. I am just now seeing how I have been damaged by living with an A for so long. Someone here posted a while ago an acronym for fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. That really stuck with me and I see that I am enmeshed with fear. While living with my A he would go through bouts of c...	babysteps	2	1051	Nov 19, 2009 by sdisnie
	New here... I'm just looking for some advise.... (Preview) Hi - I'm new here... I've been reading some posts and just registered myself today. My husband and I have been married for 1 1/2 years but we've been together for 12 years and friends for about 20 yrs or so.... So here goes - I'm going to give a little description... For years my husband has had some s...	Desperate_2275	10	627	Nov 18, 2009 by xeno59
	It's so hard to be civil (Preview) My husband is acting like a total jerk these days. We had a huge blow-up yesterday morning (mostly about him getting drunk and "checking out" on us). Of course his usual response to that is that he checks out on me, not our son. Then he ended up spending the ENTIRE day in the guest room (from...	N8SMOM	6	945	Nov 18, 2009 by Baffled
	Sometimes I have doubt (Preview) Sometimes I have doubt that my soon to be ex AH has a problem. When I look through my journal, and back at our lives together (20 years together) and I remember all those binges he went on, the four times he was in rehab, the many many hospital visits, I know he has a problem. But then he'll be able to contro...	sdisnie	5	985	Nov 18, 2009 by Dini
	How to respond? (Preview) AH called me and asked if it was ok for him to go out for drinks with his coworkers after work today. What is a good response to this? He has been to two AA meetings, but that was three weeks ago. He is now trying to control it on his own again, hoping he can be a social drinker. I know that's not possible, but I...	cdngirl	3	750	Nov 18, 2009 by cdngirl
	really need ESH (Preview) My ABF had a slip after 6 months last weekend. He has really worked the programme and could not have tried harder then bang hes gone again. I ended this relationship in March and he ent into AA all my hope returned so we got back together as he wastrying to get better. But today I am on my knees I ca not fight...	Tracy	3	648	Nov 18, 2009 by DreamXL
	new to helping me.. (Preview) hi.. I say new to helping me because, I'm just starting to realize how much I have been protecting this wonderful family secret.. It started when I was born.. I don't remember much from my earlier years, but I know that I always kept it quiet, my parents just didn't feel well. my dads job was stressful...	serching-sandy	5	595	Nov 18, 2009 by DreamXL
	I could just scream (Preview) My A son came out of a 28 day rehab and drank , I think, the following day. His insurance from his job, which he didn't return to, expired 10/31. He made sure to go to his therapist who prescribes his antidepressant on 10/28 so to be sure he had more refills before his insurance ran out. He just calls me this m...	Gailey	6	819	Nov 17, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	MY DAD'S POEM! (Preview) My dad recently sent all those he loves a special poem about God. I didn't know that he liked to write poetry. It really moved me. I love my dad very much. He lives about 900 miles away from me. Anyhow, I just wanted to share that with you all. I won't post the poem at this time but I just wanted to let you know t...	Hoot Nanny	0	530	Nov 17, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Family Photos (Preview) ((((Family))), Here's an old photo of Tim & I taken 20 years ago at the university. I should be that thin today. The other 2 are Pipers playing Sorry last night w/my niece and I. Pipers didn't win, but she did take control of the board! Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	4	737	Nov 17, 2009 by carolinagirl
	New here and needin to vent... (Preview) Im new here. Kinda unsure of what to think yet, but I am really in need of a place to vent where people can understand what I am going threw and to hear stories of what others are going threw as well. Im at my wits end with my husband. And although we have been threw SO MUCH DRAMA this year regarding his drinkin...	Hangin-On	7	789	Nov 17, 2009 by jasobel
	Scared and praying.... (Preview) It's my oldest sons 19th birthday today...I'm so proud of the man he's become and I love him and all my kids with all my heart. They are my life, I would do anything for them. Today I got an email from an atty that my AH obtained today, it was a pretty nasty email, that made me break down and cry. I was shock...	sdisnie	6	779	Nov 17, 2009 by abbyal
	NOW I'm scared. (Preview) For weeks I have been saying that I'm looking forward to my husband going to jail - I've been so mad at him for drinking after rehab, I just wanted him away so he wouldn't ruin my Christmas. Yesterday I was in a traffic accident and it really shook me. It has brought out a fear in me - a fear of being alone. M...	N8SMOM	5	769	Nov 16, 2009 by Rocky38
	There is getting it, then there is getting it...then there is really getting it (Preview) Hello, I am your disease I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed mill...	DreamXL	4	922	Nov 16, 2009 by DreamXL
	When coming to work is a relief.... (Preview) Sometimes I honestly think that work is my safe place, the place where I can go and do what I need to....X Y Z and that is it. I know what is expected of me, what dates it needs done and who to go to when I need help. It's the simplest part of my life some days......not lately, but some days. The weekend starte...	shellyj123	3	848	Nov 16, 2009 by masspedirn
	Out of my Head... (Preview) Ok... This weekend was one of those roller Coasters I have been attemping to avoid here of late... I just need to get it out of my head...ESH would be a wonderful gift on times like this for me... :) Friday 13th was the best of it all :) I went to ol' Home f2f Meeting, it was a full house we were smooched there w...	Jozie	4	879	Nov 16, 2009 by hotrod
	When did you start "getting it?" (Preview) (Feeling in a reflective mood tonight, so this is a re-post of one I posted in 2006.... still very applicable today...) Just thinking about a couple of "aha" moments in my recovery, kind of 'lines in the sand' that are memories, and perhaps stepping stones for me finally "getting it...	canadianguy	9	1056	Nov 16, 2009 by shellyj123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.