The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't been as active as I'd like on here, and thank you to people who have been supportive to me so far. I thought I'd share some ESH on Asking for Help:
Q. Unfortunately, Al Anon where I live is going through some tough times - politics, control, fighting, not following traditions...
*I asked for help*
A. Solution: After a lot of asking for help, and reaching out to others, I ran into an old program friend of mine from another city. We started going back and forth on needing a new meeting. We started one last week - actually a 'CODA' as it turned out (which started in Al Anon apparently) - but something that won't get caught up in the troubles of this area. We had 8 people first time out, not that I'm counting, but it's good to see that 'no matter what your problems, there are those of us who've had them too.'
My strength: 'not' getting invlolved trying to fight or change other meetings. Thank you HP.
*GRATITUDE*
Q. I didn't manage my online money right on a credit card, got lobbed with late fees.
*I asked for help*
To my CC company: "Hello. A couple of months ago I missed a payment or two, and some of this has been because of getting my online banking to work correctly. In the past I've asked for a 'good faith' clemency on the 30.00 late fees, and every so often, you've been good to me as hopefully a good customer, and given me an occasional refund of a late fee. Since I have brought me account in good standing, would you please see if you can refund one or two of the late fees from a month or so ago? I realize this is not possible all the time, but appreciate your consideration. Thank you."
A. FROM my cc company:
"Thanks for contacting us about your account. Good news!
Weve credited your account for $79.00 in late fees. Youll see the credit on your next monthly statement."
*GRATITUDE*
Take aways:
-It works if you work it.
-When we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
-ASK FOR HELP, 'sought through prayer and meditation'
Wonderful shares. I went through something similar here with a meeting that was not going well. Several of us decided to start another meeting, too. We went about it all wrong, but survived and the new meeting is going well. The old one has folded. Too bad, as we have very few here. I learned so much through the process, though.
Asking for help and asking for what I want directly was a challenge for me, esp with my AH. I was so crafty(lol) at beating around the bush and getting him to guess at what I wanted. No wonder I was so full of resentments. He is not a mind reader. Go figure. Ha ha. I love that lesson and even set that as a boundary later. I am not a mind reader, either.
I like your take aways.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
We too have started a CoDA group, it started with just two of us! and stayed that way for many months. I'm glad we persevered as now we have a weekly meeting over 10. Most weeks we get newcomers, its really satisfying as it shows theres a need and we are getting stronder and stronger. We have even filled our service positions. It works if you work it! So work it Your worth it
Love n hugs Carol
-- Edited by Mariner on Tuesday 24th of November 2009 06:13:56 AM
Thank you for the ESH