The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was absolutely dreading the Thanksgiving holiday for fear of spending it with the Dysfunctional's. I prayed for days before for strength, talked to my sponsor, spoke to several people in my f2f and prayed some more. I was determined that for my mother's sake, I would not participate in anything but a joyous holiday. The day was one of the best Thanksgivings we have had in many years, and I believe my mom was tickled with the outcome as well. HP was beside me the entire time and other than one little "issue" it went off without a hitch.... Sent EXABF an email and let go completely of every last thing I was holding onto there. It was time, and though I know I would be hurt to see him with someone else, I wish him the best in his life ahead. I realized he is just a man, an A, and has all his own issues to deal with. I gave him sooooo much power over me that it is scarey.........He was my addiction and my drug for years...........NO MORE! I forgave him, wished him a happy holiday season and let him go. Of course I told him not to respond and he just had to reply with a Happy Thanksgiving and a blessed holiday season wishes. (he always has to have the last word-so this time I let him have that too-no biggie, that can be my gift to him this year:) Spent the next day decorating for Christmas, as is our tradition, and wrapping gifts. Talked to my mechanic about my car that he was working on and was once again blessed with no major problems there. Was blessed to be able to touch base with my very first sponsor and realized God definitely lead me to her! She is sooo amazing and a gift to me in everyway. Picked it up Sat and did some shopping, came home and the TV blew up. I couldn't even get upset about that, and was again blessed that my SIL has some extra's and said I am welcome to them. My son had his first GF down to visit and though I am sooo not ready for him to start in the girl direction, I know he is smart and I am blessed with a good kid-a lippy one at times but a good one!:) My son's indoor soccer team which me and my SIL coach won their FIRST game Saturday night, with one man down and a score of 8-6! I was very nerveous starting out as three kids didn't show and we almost had to forefeit, but we got to play and beat the odds. Our kids played their hearts out and it showed. Couldn't have been prouder than I was last night. Those kids needed that win and the pride it brought and HP again was right there. Woke up today and came downstairs, after sleeping in, and told my son we slept through Winter! It was about 70 outside! We loaded up our dogs and headed out to where I always feel closest to God-OUTSIDE! Took about a 2 hr hike on the most AMAZING Novemeber day I have seen in years! Tonight I am meeting a man for dinner that I have been talking to for about the past month, and have NO EXPECTATIONS other than a good meal and making a new friend. So much good going on that my mind actually forgot about all my health issues for a bit and I sooooooooo needed that! I find it hard sometimes to look back to last year and when I do I don't stare. I am amazed daily at the love of the people I have met and the blessing I have received and continue to receive daily. I never thought last year this time, I would survive the pain I carried inside...........I honestly, didn't want to............Today I do..........and everyday hereafter:)
love and peace MIP family:) Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I know for me it was extremely hard to let go of the ex A. The only way I could do it was not to communicate with him at all. Personally I had many many last phone calls, last communications and more. The point I got to when I had nothing left to say to him was the point when I could let go. The ex A still had plenty to say to me but I stopped answering him. I let go.
I know I was absolutely dreading the holidays. 4 days of rest have done a lot for me. I am still living in a very difficult situation around addicts and alcoholics. There are many many times I can get sucked into their chaos. There are other days when I am feeling more serene and centered than I ever have. I am now absolutely certain that people pleasing has been a very very destructive issue for me my whole life time. People pleasing did nothign but nothing for my self esteem.
Great post, Shelly. It does work if you work it. You are living proof and an inspiration to all.
Thank you for sharing your nice weekend with us. That's the hope part in action.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
