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All new to me -- would love guidance from those who have been there, done that
(Preview)
I'm sure you've all heard this a million times before, but I never -- repeat, NEVER -- thought I'd be in this situation. I come from a background where excess drinking (and recreational drug use) is shameful and abhorrent. I don't drink at all, and have never even smoked a joint. Yet here I am, a suc...
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Sara Tamar
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10
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857
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Business Meeting Scheduled for August 15th 9pm
(Preview)
This months business meeting is scheduled for Sunday August 15th 2010 at 9pm est. Attendance to the business meeting in July was low and it had to be canceled. It is important that we all make an effort to attend these meetings. Where issues are addressed and voted on as a group conscience. This roo...
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kerry5
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0
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297
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the steps
(Preview)
I realize how absolutely obsessed I have become regarding my husband's addiction. I think about him all the time. I am angry with him all the time. Step One says that we are powerless over them and our lives had become unmanageable. That is what is happening to me. I suffer from guilt because I spend way t...
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kath
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7
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855
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Another newcomer...
(Preview)
came into the room this Super Saturday AFG meeting morning. What else could I feel and then do what I felt and was done for me when I first got here. While the rest of the group seemed for the moment to forget what it was like I certainly didn't and I heard, felt, and reexperienced her pain. Who cared wha...
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Jerry F
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3
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719
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Update
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I haven't been on here for quite some time. The last time I posted, my husband was in detox. He had a pretty good almost-year, but in May he slipped and broke a boundary that I had set (that there will be no more drug use in the house). So I asked him to leave and we're now separated. I'm now act...
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sterling7
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4
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618
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Home...and so grateful
(Preview)
I made it out, It was a GOOD experience. I know over time it will only benefit me. Through her daughter...only emerging but having lived with her for 13 years...i see the behaviours which have already taken root...so much people pleasing. So sad. I see myself...and I know will be better able to ident...
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rainbojo66
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3
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669
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So lost it hurts, So confused I am mad, So scared, but will not run.
(closed)
(Preview)
As to the lost part, I have been married now for 13 years to my best friend, the one I confide in, The one I love more than my own life. I have given everything I have to my marriage, I have been completly faithful physicly and mentally. Thats is where the so lost it hurts comes in. When I married her I knew...
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brokenbeatscareddiehard
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14
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1248
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Piper Pictures
(Preview)
(((Family))), Thought you might enjoy seeing some pictures of Piper Samantha Midnight B-J I! This is my life. This is why I keep coming back to Alanon. I'm such a codependent to this cat! Have a wonderful weekend. Much love & blessings to all! Live strong, Karilynn & Piper the Pouncing P...
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Karilynn
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4
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1156
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Forgiving myself........
(Preview)
It was told to me that I won't be happy until I give myself permission to be happy. Right now I'm busy case building against myself and subsequently why I shouldn't be happy. I've thought about forgiving myself.....how do you do that.....well I had a thought: I have a beautiful, wonderful daughter (a...
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mjhyankees
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5
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664
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Anyone have experience with Campral drug?
(Preview)
Well, I had to go to our family doctor today, and when he asked how my wife was doing (metastatic cancer), I spontaneously decided it was time to let him know about her "other" disease. She came to me this AM after a two-day drunk and expressed that she really wanted to stop doing this to hersel...
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xd
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5
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1703
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I don't want to PLAY anymore.
(Preview)
Hi everyone, my name is josee and I am a first day grateful member of this group. I have received so much help already...but wow do i ahve far to go. I am visiting my AH sister for the first time in 8 years. Long story short...she is 12 years older than I, (I am the last of 7 and adopted) and she and my other sis...
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rainbojo66
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7
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882
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Went to an open AA meeting- WOW!
(Preview)
Well, in my (unsuccessful thus far) quest to find a local group that is a good fit for me, I tried another one listed on the area roster this evening. When I got there, I was informed that the AlAnon group that met there stopped about a year ago, but I was welcome to join this (small) open AA meeting. I hesita...
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xd
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8
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1423
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I am hopeless
(Preview)
Not even sure I should bring this up A man is interested in me. He is of the same religious beliefs. He had me do that messenger thing. He is polite and sent pics. Is VERY good looking, has HUGE beautiful house, probably what every woman would want. Here I am scared to death, feeling I just cannot relate to a...
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lyndebi
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11
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992
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Inner peace
(Preview)
Hi MIP Family,
I wanted to share my gratitude for a feeling of inner peace that has grown from the tiniest seed that was planted when I first found alanon. As I look back, I can see there were times the seed of inner peace just sat within me, not sprouting, but still possible as I learned how to put one foot...
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Rocky38
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8
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747
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I Can`t Access Meetings
(Preview)
Not sure why. I sent a note a week ago to whomever was listed on the site but never heard back. Anyone have any idea why or what I can do?
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Samsgram
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5
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694
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support for those who cannot leave
(Preview)
Some people cannot leave. I do not mean they are unable to do so. I mean, literally, that they have no options and cannot leave the situation. Please do not argue away this assertion because I know from my own life that there are gaps in our societal safety nets. Circumstantially I am currently unable to...
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Garden of Mirrors
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15
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1124
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Maybe this is a start................................
(Preview)
Still not buying the higher power stuff in the sense that I felt abandoned by him (her, it, whatever) a while ago. I do remember a meeting or a reading passage where someone said that they got that step in pieces....they came......(at first that was all), then they "came to" (as in woke up et...
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mjhyankees
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4
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611
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the way to keep it
(Preview)
I've learned that for me to keep what I want, to keep the understanding I gain in recovery, I must be constarntly consciously practising it. If I want love, understanding, forgiveness, loving detachment, faith ~ al of these things are things I must be actively practising to keep. I cant just do it on...
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kitty
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8
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654
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FINALLY!!!!!!!
(Preview)
got back to my f2f meeting last night. It is like everything else...once you stop doing something it is hard to get back to it. I was fighting with myself. I didn't want to go. I wanted an easier, softer way. I wanted to go to bed , sleep and forget about life for awhile. I know I said about 3 times that I wasn'...
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Gailey
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2
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596
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Mood is gradually getting better....
(Preview)
I'm amazed how low I can feel sometimes. Because I really think long and hard about things, I often come up with negative arguments (against myself, my life etc.) that they are hard to contradict, therefore making me depressed. But I find that with some reminders from here, I can also think of equally...
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mjhyankees
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2
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388
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I'm down that my work on myself is too little to late...
(Preview)
Not trying to be dramatic here....I was in therapy in my 30's and worked through a lot of stuff, and was so grateful that I had feeling I've got the the rest of my life to apply what I'd learned and be happier. Well here I am at 50, back in therapy, feeling back at square 1, and feeling like it's too late to make...
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mjhyankees
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13
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749
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Feeling the Fear...
(Preview)
As Most know I have been fighting some off the wall addictions that I have noticed here of late, Another would be my Addiction to "Needing" others With Me... Sounds Crazy I know, but for me, about the only time I am TRULY alone, is when I go to the Market, or to the Local department store, & s...
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Jozie
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4
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1127
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Confused
(Preview)
My AH B was sober for 10 yrs before I met him. He started drinking heavily shortly after we met. I was very new at this and just wanted to run away as I felt like I did not have enough vested. We became more serious in betwen bouts of drinking and he got a DUI and stopped while on probation so he spent 30 days in ja...
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DareToDream
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11
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783
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husband wont stop smoking pot
(Preview)
I married a man that I knew had a history of drug use (pot). Before we were married I asked him if he did that anymore and he said no. NaievlyI thought he was like me, was a partier in the early days, but settled down after having kids. Not true. I realized after my daughters and I moved in with him that he is a ch...
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kath
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8
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3184
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Light Bulb Moment
(Preview)
Well, this is clear as mud I think . . . but here goes. Ok, this is going to seem small and strange, but it was big for me. I am talking to my daughter, she is telling me things about her friends and going to the fair etc. She is chatting away, I am interested and comment in return. Then her story is over. I con...
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tlcate
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4
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432
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focus
(Preview)
This one might be long, but I'm mainly venting for myself........ I have begun to accept (for the past couple of days) that I am not a multi-tasker. I have strong ADD and have not been on my meds for quite some time (caused conflict with my mom in law trying to control that) as I do not have health insuran...
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RoseODAT
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2
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408
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Trying to work with this higher power stuff......
(Preview)
Still feel a little bothered that "God" (I do believe in "a" God....just not sure what he's going to do for me, or how, if anything) hasn't been much help to me at many times in my life. So I dont' have this faith in a power greater than myself that can restore my to sanity. But some co...
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mjhyankees
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3
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610
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A silly reality show
(Preview)
I must admit I watch this show Kourtney and Kloe take Miami. Guilty pleasure Does anyone here shames my shameful secret and watches this show? Last episode this guy Scott got drunk or something, threw a fit and ended up in the hospital. I've been there, done that and even have the freaking tshirt!! Tha...
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Priscilla83
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3
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611
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new to al-anon
(Preview)
Well I just went to my first meeting. Wow! Wonderful people! I feel so much better then fighting this alone for 10 months. I think if I work on myself the situation with my boyfrined who i love very much should inprove. Just a question does this also work with players/cheeters? I understand the alcholic...
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hope for the flowers
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10
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737
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Trapped, guess I just need to vent
(Preview)
Hello. I've tried a few live AlAnon meetings, but haven't found the right group, I guess. My wife is an A, has battled it on and off for years, with a 3-year dry stretch. In the past, the drinking was almost always just in the evenings, and there would be stretches of weeks where she wouldn't drink. It's be...
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xd
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8
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830
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Really down today
(Preview)
Ok people. I need some your ES&H today. I am so down today. I believe that my AH is drinking (of course he denies it). But I have this instinct about it and my gut tells me that he is drinking. So... when he got back from his fourth rehab, I set rules that we needed to live by, in order to stay on track w...
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Sweet Stanley
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9
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742
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Some memorable statements from alanon.....
(Preview)
These are from meetings I've gone to over the years...they are not the official slogans, but are reminiscent (probably based on them): 1. Don't just do something, stand there. 2. Wherever you go, there YOU are. 3. Instead of worrying that it will take 5 years, imagine 5 years from now if you don't do...
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mjhyankees
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2
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671
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Guests . . . we are glad you are here.
(Preview)
I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but our guests are usually low in number, not awful but not what they have been. Since the Dr. Phil episode our number of guests has exploded. To the point I initially thought it was a glitch. Perhaps it is, but I hope not. I like big families!!! We are glad you are...
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tlcate
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2
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489
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After 7 meetings, I am still not sure whether Al-Anon is for me or not.
(Preview)
Hi, I am a newcomer of Al-Anon (although I've been to seven meetings) and it has been hard.. First two weeks, I struggled with the idea of God, Higher Power and being powerless over alcohol. The third week, I accepted that there is Higher Power and felt great. The fourth week has been a confusion week and...
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Junko
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13
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1225
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I'm new here and really desperate
(Preview)
I've never posted anything so personal online before but I am desperate and have nowhere else to turn. I've been dating this man for about 9 months and before we started dating I had heard he had an issue with drinking. 2 DUI's, relationship issues, etc. By the time we started dating, he assured me that...
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Maxsmom
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28
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1207
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Trying To Hold It Together.....
(Preview)
I feel like going into my room closing the door and not come out. I am trying so hard to hold it together since I put my AS out of my deceased mother's home for using it for a hang out for his drug use, and letting people come in the house that have no respect for the property or for him or for anyone for that mat...
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DreamsOver
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9
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852
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powerless
(Preview)
Got blamed for something I have no control over again. I reminded myself I don't have that much power and I knew hp was right there with me. I didn't handle it perfect, but pretty good. When will the tests be over with and I can get a final grade? lol buick
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buick23
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6
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878
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What is wrong with me....
(Preview)
I am so sorry, this is long .... I have to vent. Sitting here at 4:30 in the morning, as I couldn't sleep. Cried all night and trying to so hard to keep my focus. I look at my children and I feel so hurt and so sorry of what I am putting them through. They seem to be a bigger force than me from the outside, as th...
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BrokenBunny
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10
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1687
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Positive sharing
(Preview)
Those may remember me, I was crying aloud here a month ago about my misery of breaking up with my alcoholic fiancée. Here is some positive sharing for those who are in the middle of the crisis or dealing with the lost right now. He is/was a wonderful guy when he is sober or when he does not drink excessively...
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Adabnu
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1
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725
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I love this board
(Preview)
I have only been a member since yesterday. I am so grateful to all of you who helped me with my dilemma. (alcoholic boyfriend) I was feeling so badly today that while at work, I kept this website minimized so I could look when I felt like i needed to. Thank you thank you thank you! I have found a place where I b...
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Maxsmom
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3
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672
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Surrounded by Alcoholics Everywhere I go...
(Preview)
New here. I want to say "I'm done." Over and done with the A's in my family. Does anybody ever just want to leave their AH/W?? Why not??? Why do we have to be the ones who bend over backward to stay sane when they make us crazy! The DUI's, the wrecked finances resulting in bankruptcy (and I'...
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sunnydaze
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9
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1467
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Transference issues with my therapist.....
(Preview)
For the sake of honesty and because it's on my mind alot, I feel I should open up and spill my guts on this. I began therapy about two years ago...sex therapy to be exact to address some issues my wife complained about (and although she was part of the problem, I admit were true). I called a male therapist r...
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mjhyankees
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3
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1644
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God Exists...
(Preview)
In the three seconds between what triggers me and how I respond to it. I got this echo at the morning meeting I attended. It was as if the speaker was reading my recovery journal because I heard his voice in tandem with my elder sponsor's voices. What an amazing gift because it remains the truth for me t...
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Jerry F
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9
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758
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I give people too much power over me....
(Preview)
This came up in therapy not to long ago.....my therapist remarked that I worry too much about what others think of me, I assume that they do or will think negatively of me, and that I tend to judge myself or my efforts based on this....i think she's right of course.... But I cant' help but compare my life to...
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mjhyankees
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4
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1788
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Tryin to get on Track....
(Preview)
Hi All... Here recenty I have been Covering some pretty big miles stones in my life, things have been happening so fast that at times I seem to forget the important stuff, and this week has been a HUGE Reminder of that... Yesterday My One & Only Child turned 13 and the thought of him growing up and leav...
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Jozie
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6
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1049
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In loving memory of my Mom
(Preview)
In loving memory of my mother: June 19, 1932- August 1, 1982. Hard to believe you've been gone this long. I was only 19. But those 19 years were the best. If I can be 1/10 as good as you were, I'm doing okay. Give my love to Dad & Tim. "Your heart was made of holidays. Your smile was made of dawn....
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Karilynn
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9
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824
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What is a Mom to do?
(Preview)
My son who is 25 has had issues with alcohol since late high school. He doesn't seem to know when to stop and keeps getting into trouble. The last incident was an accident where he fell on concrete and had to have 6 hours of reconstructive surgery on his face. He is back living with me now and has to pay me...
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renee
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4
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974
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Distracting myself from happiness......
(Preview)
That phrase was a Freudian slip, that my therapist swears I uttered one day (I didn't remember saying it but have no reason to doubt her....even if she were to be wrong...it's a true statement). That is what I do....I focus on the negative stuff and don't give myself a chance to be happy......I even had...
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mjhyankees
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8
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831
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improvements
(Preview)
I'm keeping up with my meetings this time around and have been so much better with my thinking and attitude since. One thing I have noticed at the meetings nowdays. I catch myself smiling alot and can laugh about things. When I attended meetings years ago I was so serious and unhappy and I didn't underst...
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buick23
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6
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700
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Questions about Alanon face to face meeting last night
(Preview)
I would like to recant this post. I understand what you are all saying. Thanks -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 08:12:39 AM -- Edited by Maize on Tuesday 3rd of August 2010 05:59:26 PM
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Maize
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15
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1452
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mother in law sober 43 years today!
(Preview)
a great lady and a great accomplishment. gotta love someone who has 10 kids, 15 grandkids and stayed sober and sane! she's aptly named Joy as for my husband, sober over 100 days now. hope it stays that way, every now and then my apprehension creeps in...
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oscarmom
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4
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733
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Trying to hang in there....
(Preview)
My marriage is at a point where I'm actually grateful on the days there isn't a crisis and it proceeds normally. Of course normal in my marriage is zero affection form wife, zero help from wife and , zero common courtesy from the wife. The only saving grace is my daughter is wonderful and I love my litt...
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mjhyankees
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8
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729
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Keeping my mouth shut?
(Preview)
Well, my AH whom I recently separated from (three weeks ago) asked me for money last week. He's got a stable career, has not provided any child support for the last two weeks (as I'm letting him fix the financialy situation before we get back together).....I did give him back two hundered dollars to cat...
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RoseODAT
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4
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775
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maybe the problem is my thinking.....
(Preview)
Considering the idea that I wouldn't be any more happy or satisfied if I met my goals and dreams. Maybe they wouldn't be good enough once I had them. That's definately something I could believe about myself. I do need to appreciate what's around me and what I do have and can do now.
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mjhyankees
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11
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1080
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Missing My ex
(Preview)
Hi Friends,First, I want to say that I am usually a "lurker". Sometimes, when I am in sick thinking, I come to the boards and read your posts, and it really helps to know that there are so many people out here experiencing similar things. So- thank you! I came to Al Anon 8 months ago, after brea...
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hopeforme
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8
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862
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Did you happen to see Dr. Phil?
(Preview)
This is a show that I don't watch. Some how it ended up on that channel on Friday and it caught my eye. I pretty much had the TV on for background noise and lo and behold. As I mentioned in a previous post the show was about addiction with children and the parents were coming to Dr Phil for help. He sent the...
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fishinmama
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5
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1068
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Watching myself
(Preview)
Well I have not mentioned this because I have been here before with my ex husband, but this time it feels different. My son is an alcoholic/addict. He has struggled for some time. He got two duii's in a month spent time in jail and I think I mentioned here he got the book thrown at him. The Judge had a dau...
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fishinmama
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6
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756
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update...
(Preview)
THE MEMORIAL SERVICE WENT WELL...MY PHONE RANG DURING THE END--I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BUT MY HUSBAND FELT HE NEEDED TO CALL! I WAS MAD AT HIM FOR QUITE A WHILE BECAUSE I WAS EMBARASSED & SOME OF IT WAS ON TV! HE WAS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN THAT RECEIVED THE MEDAL OF HONOR FROM THE ARMY IN WWII PLUS OTHER DI...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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581
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here we go again
(Preview)
as i stated in my other post, hes been home two weeks and is already drinking and lyeing on a regular basis. They say in al anon that we dont have to accept unacceptable behavior, Im pretty much at that point. My husband has left me without a vehicle due to wrecking two in a matter of days. He is driving arou...
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kablisnow
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5
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634
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To forgive is devine
(Preview)
Does anyone have any special experience with a very difficulity situation, where perhaps the A "down plays" it or says it didn't happen the way you feel it did or says you have "issues" instead of just admitting his part and saying he's sorry? I truely want to forgive but seem to &...
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glad
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9
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532
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