The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I made it out, It was a GOOD experience. I know over time it will only benefit me. Through her daughter...only emerging but having lived with her for 13 years...i see the behaviours which have already taken root...so much people pleasing. So sad. I see myself...and I know will be better able to identify what i need to be aware of inside of myself.
That poor kid. I asked her if she knew where our fridge was (we live on a farm...things are very different here) because around here...we all help ourselves, and each other...but no one caters to anyone. So, if she was hungry I wanted her to know she could always have food...but likely no one would offer. She IMMEDIATELY jumped up (when I asked her if she knew where the fridge was) and asked if i wanted something. I really worked hard not to let her see the pain that must have swept across my face, That was ME standing in front of ME.
Oh...there had better be a God...cause we are going to need all the help we can get.
I am keeping ehr with me for as long as I can. She will have to go back before school...but a couple of weeks will do her some serious good.
BUT...I havwe to be careful of not putting someone else's problem in front of my "emerging" understanding...just to avoid the work I have to do for myself to make myself a whole person. Really...I feel like I am in discongruent pieces...and never knew I was. Time for some glue.
I am exhausted. So, won't writ emuch tonight. I hope there is a meeting tonight. I know around me there isn't and I drove an 8 hour trip in 6 today, fleeing the carnage of my sister's life.
I am angry at my family. Even the sober ones. I have folks that are eithe ractive or are addicted to AA...so either way there is not allot of contact. But of course I'd rather be with my AA members...they are accepting and loving. preoccupied yes...but...no bad in them. Not anymore.
I have trust issues (are you laughing??hehe ). I kne i had trust issues...but, now I know why. I can;t fix it just because I know it...but it's a start. I don't trust anyone...starting with myself.
I see it in Alex (neice) no trust. In herself.
I have horses. They will help her with that :)
Thanks for this group. So much. I really am so grateful. xoxoxoxJoxoxoxoxoxox
I found the awareness of seeing myself in children or others around me an extremely helpful tool for my program. I also noticed that my HP sent who I needed in my life to move forward in my program at exactly the right time! Your niece is going to love her visit with you and will take those memories with her when she has to return home, it is a small miracle in chaos
i have to run soon for work but I have an amazing article about a man who does life therapy with horses. it is on my long term goal sheet to someday meet him, although I am ashamed to admit at the moment I can not remember his name LOL
Take care of yourself and have fun with your niece! I'm glad your trip was safe and went fairly well.
I have trust issues (are you laughing??hehe ). I kne i had trust issues...but, now I know why. I can;t fix it just because I know it...but it's a start. I don't trust anyone...starting with myself.
I see it in Alex (neice) no trust. In herself.
I have horses. They will help her with that :)
Dear Rainbojo I am so glad you arrived home safe and that your little charge will be able to spend some quality time on the farm, with horses and some recovery before the summer is over.
I copied the above statement because that is exactly where I was when I arrived at alanon. MY understanding of the 2nd step process helped change that.
Like the second step states: I came to meetings, listened, read literature, used the slogans, I came to understand. my part in the situations in my life and then finally my ability to trust was restored when , I came to believe that a power greater than myself would restore me to sanity.
It was all a process but today I can truly say, I trust my HP first and I trust alanon and the tools. With the power of both these tools, I have learned to trust myself
Maybe you can find an alateen meeting or some alateen literature for your summer visitor
