Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Ok. I lost it Friday. I lost my serenity. I got it back too. All on my own, got it back. I would like to go on and on about what happened, here is the long and short of it: Friday night after work it began to snow very hard. I had an hour long drive ahead of me, with my son in the car. The drive is my normal com...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I didn't want to hijack Lou's post, but she was talking about having a friend dating in a dysfunctional situation and I realized that this situation has been heavily on my mind for a few weeks. My best friend is getting married next month, and I see all the signs of an alcoholic family she is marrying in...

parfait624 · parfait624

I have a frustrating situation with my Abf and I am not sure how to approach. I am open to ideas. First I should give some background. Four years I ago I found out I was pregnet by my ABF we weren't serious when it happened and when I told him he went back and fourth with what he wanted to do. I was going thro...

VickieB · VickieB

I haven't posted or been active here for years, but come by often to read, and thought I'd thank so many of you that have helped me greatly. I've learned a lot here, and so much from, John, in the past years. I'm a little shy about entering this domain but here I am. I am married to an active AH and have...

butterfliesnroses60 · butterfliesnroses60

Hello All It has been a long time since I have been here...I just wanted to let everyone know that I have not forgotten...My life was crazy busy for a bit.....I appreciate everyone.....A short update...I continue to attend meetings every week and have learned a lot...and still learning.......my da...

John · John

I just drove over 800 miles to meet up with my wife in another state. She said she had to get away and think. She told me she was on her way to Indianapolis, IN to visit with her deceased ex husbands mother who she could talk to about anything. It went exactly as bad as I thought it might as I left North Car...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been so hard to keep track of time lately! maybe because it is going so fast! I am on here on Saturday & now it is Monday! I am still sleeping well, am still holding on to my serenity. I am still trying to not control everyone & everything in my life! If it doesn't go my way, will I shrivel up &...

marcia · marcia

I work my program, attend meetings and my alcoholic boyfriend, (we lived together for many years and have had some wonderful times together) is recovering. My therapist, many years ago, told me that alcoholics will "sneak" alcohol even while recovering. They are not drunk but through...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Today is my 39th Wedding Anniversary. I was so happy that day - and for most of the years thereafter. Good thing we cannot see round corners! I made an effort. I bought him a card, although it took me quite a long time to find one that just said "Happy Anniversary Husband" rather than "Hap...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I haven't yet to see the ExA face to face......it's been since before Thanksgiving that I have! Through email I set up a time for him to come to my house to get a few things from the garage (tool box etc) I had a friend of mine (a very big guy who is 6'5) be here so there would be no scene. I was able to just stay...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to share w/ all of you that on Tuesday 25 years ago I attended my first Alanon meeting. I walked into my first meeting on January 4, 1986 & have tried to inspire people ever since. I can't say that I attended meetings the whole time but I did go to a lot of open AA meetings. I didn't "get&q...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

I've been with my bf for almost two years. He has about 20 years dry but only really started working the program about six or seven months ago. I still have to work my program very hard around him due to his mood swings, attitudes and oftentimes anger issues. It isn't perfect but we both are trying to recov...

hollygoheavily · hollygoheavily

Hi everyone, This is my first time here, or on any recovery messageboard. I have been with my husband for more than 10 years, married for 8.5. We have two beautiful boys. I knew he was an alcoholic when I married him, but we were so young - I thought it would just naturally improve. Silly me. Long story shor...

beaglegal · beaglegal

Hello! I'm new and have a question that I have not been able to find the answer. First a little about me. I live with my significant other who is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober for three 1/2 years, we have been together for a 11 years. She has never atte...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday morning meeting as I have a Dr.'s appointment and will be unable to get back home in time to chair. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks

clep · clep

One of my closest friends is an A I do believe. When I met him he was sober but seemed to be a dry drunk. Of course at the time I didn't know that. I just knew something was wrong. We started out dating, but that didn't last long as I knew he wasn't right for me. We remained good friends. I find though sinc...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Feeling the need to post tonight, though no real topic. Just stuff, I guess... I am sitting in my 17 yr old son's bedroom, literally waiting for paint to dry. My exAh (now sober) came over today and we cleaned it out and primered it. It was hideous and depressing, and time for a change. I will let my so...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Oregon is cold, snow is suppose to come. The person I shared I am emailing with is showing more and more who he is. Day at a time. Have his number and am going to call. Theres so much positive. More of a giver, much more than I originally saw. Is a good friend. As much as you can be by email. I must be all grown up,...

Cocoon · Cocoon

I would like to read the Al-anon book we used online. Where can I find it?

BlazeB · BlazeB

A crisis becomes a breaking point when we fail to use it as a turning point.

need lots of help · need lots of help

so I made it very clear to AH that if he has another drink, then i take the kids and leave. we have been seeing a therapist and made my point clear to him in front of her. He hasn't drank since last week. It's only a matter of time. I don't want to live that life anymore. I have given it YEARS!!! I am DONE w...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm struggling with the issue of confronting my wife, especially about things not related to drinking. My attitude lately has been her issues are her issues, and I'm not going to confront her on the things she does that I don't like. However, my appointment with my therapist this week has me a bit confu...

Gailey · Gailey

why am I allowing myself to feel such anxiety about knowing my A son is out in a bar tonight and will be driving when he leaves? Tonight I am feeling envious of all moms who know their grown child is at home with their family...where they should be. HP...help me to be able to relax a little tonight

RLC · RLC

My local Tuesday night group is starting a step study tomorrow morning (Sat.). We thought it was something that would be beneficial to old and new member alike. Our plans are to have one meeting each month until the study is complete. We decided we would have no time table on how many meetings we would al...

ms621 · ms621

My AH hasn't had a drink in about a week and a half, and that part has been a blessing. Over the last few days though, he has come clean about a few things that he was previously lying about (I've been lied to A LOT), one big thing being a hefty credit card bill that I had no idea about. Well, he didn't exactly...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

My brother is getting out of jail this coming Wednesday. Before he was sentenced, he was begging the judge, DA, and his lawyer to help him get the help he needed for depression and alcoholism that he just couldn't in jail. He could've gotten 5 years since this was his second parole violation. Instead...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana (good morning family...just exercising the language)!! I've done some reading here this morning and some of it keyed a lesson I got early in recovery part of which came from inside of the ODAAT daily reader which said something like "I say I would do anything to help my alc...

flinn66 · flinn66

I always knew my HP would help me understand when I had enough. This has been building for weeks and his drinking has got worse but this morning after receiving a load of verbal abuse I called the Police (its not the first time). I could have had him arrested and will do if he 'breaches the peace"agai...

ms621 · ms621

There is a meeting tonight. I really want to go to it, but am so nervous... I'm typically OK with doing new things, but for some reason I'm nervous about attending my first meeting... I don't want to have to talk, or even identify myself. If I could attend while being invisible that would be perfect....

babygirl71 · babygirl71

I got a phone call tonight from my A. He wanted me to come pick him up from treatment on Saturday morning. (He went in Tues night voluntarily- his idea). I told him that I did not think that was a good idea and told him I thought he wasn't even supposed to be contacting me in the first 72 hours. I asked him why he...

parfait624 · parfait624

I am so frustrated with my ABF! First I would like to say that in the past couple of weeks since we started having issues I have started seeing my shrink again, gone to my first alanon meeting, and joined a gym. I am working on finding things to do besides thinking about and dealing with him. Rescently h...

liam · liam

Hello everyone. I joined this board a few weeks ago, and I been kinda in the back ground reading and taking things in, trying to learn new ways to combat this disease I suffer from. Its alcoholism. I been comming to alanon for around a year, just using it as a place of refuge looking to be validated on how h...

liam · liam

Lord, I may not be the person you would like me to be I may not be the person I could be, but Lord thank you I;m not the person I used to be.

supermom · supermom

I heard someone say once at a meeting if an alcoholic is talking, he is probably telling a lie. Everyone chuckled. So I guess I forgot that a dry drunk often lies also. My husband took a job in the fall where he works all weekend long. I take care of our 2 very small children all by myself. When we were dis...

bud · bud

Tonight I learned that my biological Dad had another mini stroke and is in the hospital for treatment of a blood clot in the left ventricle of his heart. My Dad has lived many years on borrowed time due to heart disease. The blood clot is not in the best place, as it can break off, travel to the brain and ca...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm sure that every single parent on this board can relate to this: I am constantly told "I don't know how you do it." Technically, I am not a single parent, because I am married. But my AH works 600 miles away right now, so in essence I am single parenting my three kids. My family does not li...

posusta · posusta

hello, well my Brother Justin who is 20, is a recoving alcoholic, and a drug addict. He has been sober for almost two years. it will be two years in april. Me and justin are very close, but recentily (tuesday the 3rd) i was told by his very good friend who dose my hair that justin told her he had drank a beer on...

Evian · Evian

Hello Everyone, It's been a couple of weeks since I was last on here. Christmas and New Years went surprisingly well. That quickly changed though. One night while talking, he said something about us not having relations (it's been a month and a half). I said I was sorry, that I have issues to deal wi...

BlazeB · BlazeB

My A (best friend) has been actively drinking for over a week. Yesterday morning I went to her place to check on her as she was not answering her phone. I found her in an unspeakable situation. It is very painful to be exposed to this and have no ability to change it. I couldn't leave her in a mess so did what I...

babygirl71 · babygirl71

Hello everyone. This is a big step for me. I've lived with an alcoholic for 4 and a half years. He went into treatment a couple days ago and I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm happy, mad, scared, relieved, all of it. I have been enabling for years. In the beginning I would go to the liquor store and buy it fo...

JrsMommy215 · JrsMommy215

My son's father is a recovering addict of nearly 6 months. I had gone through hell with that man and I think I am still harboring a lot of resentment and anger towards him for the things we had gone through. He suggested I go to Al-Anon meetings to try and get help for my anger and hatred for him. But from what...

member922 · member922

So in my once again talk session with the on again off again Abf, some nice words were actually said. Finally a calm discussion. He told me that one of the reason that he likes being around me is because I have turned my life around. He said that I have gone from a substance abuser to someone who has settl...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Page 13 January 13th: at the very bottom: "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus.... Wow. I am beginning to see this and realize that its so very true. any e s and h you can share on it? Thanks ;)

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Watched 'when a man loves a woman' today.I have seen it more than once over the years but I decided to watch it and see if I saw anything new or got any new insights.I did.I saw myself as my AH saw me.A person who projects that she is perfect,so good,so much better than you.If you would just listen to me your l...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

I don't know whether to be excited or scared. I'm a little bit of both, I think. My ABF has been in inpatient treatment since September. We've had family counseling, and got to go out on passes together on weekends after we'd had a few counseling sessions. I have seen him steadily become healthier and ha...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife & I had a huge blow-out argument last night. I will admit to "starting" it, but I do feel I was justified in my criticism. Long story short, I had been home for 10 days because of the holidays and had found myself becoming more and more frustrated by my wife's complete lack of intera...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

My story is not new. We have all been wrought with some of the same things through our childhoods and lives. Some worse, some not so bad, still causing us to grow a disease... Last night I had an attitude problem about something that I couldn't change. I was cranky, and I could feel my vibes affectin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been a long time since I posted--I guess it was meant to be that I couldn't get on here for quite a while. I have been busy getting it back together & putting the focus back on me after spending the holidays trying to "run the show"! I did have a lot of people around me to bring in the new y...

Aloha · Aloha

... working the program in all my affairs. I just about nearly ripped into a supplier at my job because of an unhappy client. I was getting frustrated because everyone else in the office has been in reactionary-mode with the client because he's unhappy. I nearly joined in on the knee-jerk thing... typ...

suave75 · suave75

He called asking to come home. He only gave detox 2 days. He left and has since drank again. I don't know if he used any other drugs. He said it will be 29 degrees tonight. I think he ran out of money. What should I do? Should I take him to a shelter. He can't come back to my home. I just don't feel safe or comfort...

kath · kath

Thanks to Al Anon I have been able to step back and really see what is best for my children and me. I left my AH a year ago to live with my dad who is an functioning alcoholic, nonetheless alcoholic. I have begun to take steps toward freeing myself from familiar uncomfortable known to unfamiliar free. It w...

hmeshow · hmeshow

I am going to my first meeting tonight and my anxiety level is HIGH. I am the daughter of an alcoholic (deceased) and daughter of a mother who is doesn't drink but has all the behaviors. I also have a brother who is an alcoholic. I have been seeing a therapist who has encouraged me to attend a meeting. Toni...

Bettina · Bettina

I never thought I would see this day and it all happened in about 24 hours. The XAH's room mate ran out on the last months rent, naturally XAH cant afford apartment on his own. Well, the landlord gave him his eviction 3 days ago. XAH is not computer literate and does not own one. He asked me to just look and...

js399964 · js399964

My AH has been sober (again) for 5 months now, during which he's been off work, around the house, talking a lot about all the great changes he is going to make to his life. It's like a record that keeps skipping - he talks about himself, about all the things he wants, what's wrong with his life (and what I'm d...

Christy · Christy

Nothing has any meaning save the meaning you give it. This can change your entire experience of life. Repeat this quietly in your mind at any moment of stress or upset: Nothing has any meaning save the meaning I give it. ~Neale Donald Walsch~

sarebaer · sarebaer

I guess the new year starting tomorrow and a rough week with AH has me asking myself do I really want to do this another year. Through al anon i have found a peace that I havent had for years in my life. What I'm struggling with is not having a real relationship with my AH. It leaves me feeling very, empty and a...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I came to the realization that after 10 years of my husband trying to recover from alcoholism and I am truly powerless. Sorry, but I always thought I could change things. After reading posts of we didn't cause, we can't control and we can't cure, I finally get it. The good news is that my husband is in me...

quadlog · quadlog

A bit about myself and the situation. My wife and I have been married for 8 years. I sobered up before we met so she never saw me drink and I've been sober that entire time BUT a couple of years ago I stopped going to AA meetings and went into a dry drunk. Moody, angry at everything and I never told her I was goin...

casa · casa

I am not going to be able to chair tomorrow night's meeting. I really hope that someone will be kind enough to cover for me. Thanks in advance! Happy New Year! Sara aka casa

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hi- I have a specific situation I am wondering about. I haven't gone to any meetings yet or completed any reading but I haven't found the time to do either so I was hoping I could just ask a question and get some opinions. I understand the concept of "stopping enabling" I guess.. just not sure h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I need some E S & H.... (Preview) Ok. I lost it Friday. I lost my serenity. I got it back too. All on my own, got it back. I would like to go on and on about what happened, here is the long and short of it: Friday night after work it began to snow very hard. I had an hour long drive ahead of me, with my son in the car. The drive is my normal com...	sunflowergirl	4	755	Jan 11, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Friend marrying into dysfunction (Preview) I didn't want to hijack Lou's post, but she was talking about having a friend dating in a dysfunctional situation and I realized that this situation has been heavily on my mind for a few weeks. My best friend is getting married next month, and I see all the signs of an alcoholic family she is marrying in...	White Rabbit	7	892	Jan 11, 2011 by Phoe
	Not sure how to approach this? (Preview) I have a frustrating situation with my Abf and I am not sure how to approach. I am open to ideas. First I should give some background. Four years I ago I found out I was pregnet by my ABF we weren't serious when it happened and when I told him he went back and fourth with what he wanted to do. I was going thro...	parfait624	13	705	Jan 11, 2011 by Phoe
	Stopping In to say, Hi! (Preview) I haven't posted or been active here for years, but come by often to read, and thought I'd thank so many of you that have helped me greatly. I've learned a lot here, and so much from, John, in the past years. I'm a little shy about entering this domain but here I am. I am married to an active AH and have...	VickieB	3	844	Jan 10, 2011 by xeno59
	I am Back (Preview) Hello All It has been a long time since I have been here...I just wanted to let everyone know that I have not forgotten...My life was crazy busy for a bit.....I appreciate everyone.....A short update...I continue to attend meetings every week and have learned a lot...and still learning.......my da...	butterfliesnroses60	3	920	Jan 10, 2011 by xeno59
	What sparked the previous post... (Preview) I just drove over 800 miles to meet up with my wife in another state. She said she had to get away and think. She told me she was on her way to Indianapolis, IN to visit with her deceased ex husbands mother who she could talk to about anything. It went exactly as bad as I thought it might as I left North Car...	John	7	860	Jan 10, 2011 by xeno59
	hard to keep track of time... (Preview) It has been so hard to keep track of time lately! maybe because it is going so fast! I am on here on Saturday & now it is Monday! I am still sleeping well, am still holding on to my serenity. I am still trying to not control everyone & everything in my life! If it doesn't go my way, will I shrivel up &...	Hoot Nanny	2	766	Jan 10, 2011 by member922
	How I feel (Preview) I work my program, attend meetings and my alcoholic boyfriend, (we lived together for many years and have had some wonderful times together) is recovering. My therapist, many years ago, told me that alcoholics will "sneak" alcohol even while recovering. They are not drunk but through...	marcia	10	1112	Jan 10, 2011 by Bettina
	Wedding Anniversary (Preview) Today is my 39th Wedding Anniversary. I was so happy that day - and for most of the years thereafter. Good thing we cannot see round corners! I made an effort. I bought him a card, although it took me quite a long time to find one that just said "Happy Anniversary Husband" rather than "Hap...	Tattyhead	7	729	Jan 10, 2011 by Tattyhead
	Feeling so sorry for the ExA (Preview) I haven't yet to see the ExA face to face......it's been since before Thanksgiving that I have! Through email I set up a time for him to come to my house to get a few things from the garage (tool box etc) I had a friend of mine (a very big guy who is 6'5) be here so there would be no scene. I was able to just stay...	sdisnie	6	583	Jan 10, 2011 by maresie
	25 years! (Preview) I just want to share w/ all of you that on Tuesday 25 years ago I attended my first Alanon meeting. I walked into my first meeting on January 4, 1986 & have tried to inspire people ever since. I can't say that I attended meetings the whole time but I did go to a lot of open AA meetings. I didn't "get&q...	Hoot Nanny	6	838	Jan 10, 2011 by Aloha
	Owning My Part vs. Him Owning His (Preview) I've been with my bf for almost two years. He has about 20 years dry but only really started working the program about six or seven months ago. I still have to work my program very hard around him due to his mood swings, attitudes and oftentimes anger issues. It isn't perfect but we both are trying to recov...	Saved By Grace	5	903	Jan 10, 2011 by Saved By Grace
	Forgiving my husband means putting our children at risk (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first time here, or on any recovery messageboard. I have been with my husband for more than 10 years, married for 8.5. We have two beautiful boys. I knew he was an alcoholic when I married him, but we were so young - I thought it would just naturally improve. Silly me. Long story shor...	hollygoheavily	14	1843	Jan 10, 2011 by anewyear
	Alcohol in Cooking (Preview) Hello! I'm new and have a question that I have not been able to find the answer. First a little about me. I live with my significant other who is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober for three 1/2 years, we have been together for a 11 years. She has never atte...	beaglegal	11	629	Jan 10, 2011 by kokyuho
	MONDAY A.M. MEETING - JAN 10 (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday morning meeting as I have a Dr.'s appointment and will be unable to get back home in time to chair. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks	shimo	1	581	Jan 10, 2011 by kerry5
	My friend and the chaos (Preview) One of my closest friends is an A I do believe. When I met him he was sober but seemed to be a dry drunk. Of course at the time I didn't know that. I just knew something was wrong. We started out dating, but that didn't last long as I knew he wasn't right for me. We remained good friends. I find though sinc...	clep	4	1017	Jan 10, 2011 by clep
	thoughts while waiting for the paint to dry... (Preview) Feeling the need to post tonight, though no real topic. Just stuff, I guess... I am sitting in my 17 yr old son's bedroom, literally waiting for paint to dry. My exAh (now sober) came over today and we cleaned it out and primered it. It was hideous and depressing, and time for a change. I will let my so...	Loupiness	7	930	Jan 9, 2011 by xeno59
	Just stuff (Preview) Oregon is cold, snow is suppose to come. The person I shared I am emailing with is showing more and more who he is. Day at a time. Have his number and am going to call. Theres so much positive. More of a giver, much more than I originally saw. Is a good friend. As much as you can be by email. I must be all grown up,...	Debilyn	1	930	Jan 9, 2011 by hotrod
	AA Books online (Preview) I would like to read the Al-anon book we used online. Where can I find it?	Cocoon	2	2937	Jan 9, 2011 by hotrod
	This inspired me today. . . (Preview) A crisis becomes a breaking point when we fail to use it as a turning point.	BlazeB	6	944	Jan 9, 2011 by White Rabbit
	One more drink and he's out? (Preview) so I made it very clear to AH that if he has another drink, then i take the kids and leave. we have been seeing a therapist and made my point clear to him in front of her. He hasn't drank since last week. It's only a matter of time. I don't want to live that life anymore. I have given it YEARS!!! I am DONE w...	need lots of help	16	1233	Jan 8, 2011 by f2fmember
	Confronting, but not about drinking (Preview) I'm struggling with the issue of confronting my wife, especially about things not related to drinking. My attitude lately has been her issues are her issues, and I'm not going to confront her on the things she does that I don't like. However, my appointment with my therapist this week has me a bit confu...	usedtobeanyer	16	1576	Jan 8, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	not again!!!!! (Preview) why am I allowing myself to feel such anxiety about knowing my A son is out in a bar tonight and will be driving when he leaves? Tonight I am feeling envious of all moms who know their grown child is at home with their family...where they should be. HP...help me to be able to relax a little tonight	Gailey	3	1326	Jan 8, 2011 by Jerry F
	Starting A Saturday Morning Step Study (Preview) My local Tuesday night group is starting a step study tomorrow morning (Sat.). We thought it was something that would be beneficial to old and new member alike. Our plans are to have one meeting each month until the study is complete. We decided we would have no time table on how many meetings we would al...	RLC	3	1069	Jan 8, 2011 by Jerry F
	Struggling with being kind to AH (Preview) My AH hasn't had a drink in about a week and a half, and that part has been a blessing. Over the last few days though, he has come clean about a few things that he was previously lying about (I've been lied to A LOT), one big thing being a hefty credit card bill that I had no idea about. Well, he didn't exactly...	ms621	8	821	Jan 8, 2011 by marcia
	More of the same? (Preview) My brother is getting out of jail this coming Wednesday. Before he was sentenced, he was begging the judge, DA, and his lawyer to help him get the help he needed for depression and alcoholism that he just couldn't in jail. He could've gotten 5 years since this was his second parole violation. Instead...	NCSUgeology	5	683	Jan 8, 2011 by 2nice4_2long
	Getting off of my "but" (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana (good morning family...just exercising the language)!! I've done some reading here this morning and some of it keyed a lesson I got early in recovery part of which came from inside of the ODAAT daily reader which said something like "I say I would do anything to help my alc...	Jerry F	12	516	Jan 8, 2011 by Andrea12
	Enough! (Preview) I always knew my HP would help me understand when I had enough. This has been building for weeks and his drinking has got worse but this morning after receiving a load of verbal abuse I called the Police (its not the first time). I could have had him arrested and will do if he 'breaches the peace"agai...	flinn66	11	1008	Jan 8, 2011 by glad lee
	Nervous to attend first meeting... (Preview) There is a meeting tonight. I really want to go to it, but am so nervous... I'm typically OK with doing new things, but for some reason I'm nervous about attending my first meeting... I don't want to have to talk, or even identify myself. If I could attend while being invisible that would be perfect....	ms621	10	1400	Jan 7, 2011 by Phoe
	My first phone call to come get him out of treatment- that was hard (Preview) I got a phone call tonight from my A. He wanted me to come pick him up from treatment on Saturday morning. (He went in Tues night voluntarily- his idea). I told him that I did not think that was a good idea and told him I thought he wasn't even supposed to be contacting me in the first 72 hours. I asked him why he...	babygirl71	10	992	Jan 7, 2011 by Sangyaa
	Dr. Jekyal and Mr. Hyde (Preview) I am so frustrated with my ABF! First I would like to say that in the past couple of weeks since we started having issues I have started seeing my shrink again, gone to my first alanon meeting, and joined a gym. I am working on finding things to do besides thinking about and dealing with him. Rescently h...	parfait624	7	963	Jan 7, 2011 by parfait624
	twisted relations with family, friends, that many of us have suffered the most (Preview) Hello everyone. I joined this board a few weeks ago, and I been kinda in the back ground reading and taking things in, trying to learn new ways to combat this disease I suffer from. Its alcoholism. I been comming to alanon for around a year, just using it as a place of refuge looking to be validated on how h...	liam	2	1181	Jan 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	I'm not who I was (Preview) *Lord, I may not be the person you would like me to be I may not be the person I could be, but Lord thank you I;m not the person I used to be.*	liam	1	675	Jan 7, 2011 by hotrod
	sick of the lies (Preview) I heard someone say once at a meeting if an alcoholic is talking, he is probably telling a lie. Everyone chuckled. So I guess I forgot that a dry drunk often lies also. My husband took a job in the fall where he works all weekend long. I take care of our 2 very small children all by myself. When we were dis...	supermom	5	1056	Jan 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Gifts of practice (Preview) Tonight I learned that my biological Dad had another mini stroke and is in the hospital for treatment of a blood clot in the left ventricle of his heart. My Dad has lived many years on borrowed time due to heart disease. The blood clot is not in the best place, as it can break off, travel to the brain and ca...	bud	6	462	Jan 6, 2011 by bud
	I have hit the wall (Preview) I'm sure that every single parent on this board can relate to this: I am constantly told "I don't know how you do it." Technically, I am not a single parent, because I am married. But my AH works 600 miles away right now, so in essence I am single parenting my three kids. My family does not li...	stephaniej	14	856	Jan 6, 2011 by xeno59
	In need of ADVISE!!! please help... (Preview) hello, well my Brother Justin who is 20, is a recoving alcoholic, and a drug addict. He has been sober for almost two years. it will be two years in april. Me and justin are very close, but recentily (tuesday the 3rd) i was told by his very good friend who dose my hair that justin told her he had drank a beer on...	posusta	5	1317	Jan 6, 2011 by xeno59
	sigh (Preview) Hello Everyone, It's been a couple of weeks since I was last on here. Christmas and New Years went surprisingly well. That quickly changed though. One night while talking, he said something about us not having relations (it's been a month and a half). I said I was sorry, that I have issues to deal wi...	Evian	11	1076	Jan 6, 2011 by Evian
	Worried sick, frustrated, and unhappy . . . (Preview) My A (best friend) has been actively drinking for over a week. Yesterday morning I went to her place to check on her as she was not answering her phone. I found her in an unspeakable situation. It is very painful to be exposed to this and have no ability to change it. I couldn't leave her in a mess so did what I...	BlazeB	5	1277	Jan 6, 2011 by xeno59
	New at this so bear with me (Preview) Hello everyone. This is a big step for me. I've lived with an alcoholic for 4 and a half years. He went into treatment a couple days ago and I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm happy, mad, scared, relieved, all of it. I have been enabling for years. In the beginning I would go to the liquor store and buy it fo...	babygirl71	10	1052	Jan 6, 2011 by babygirl71
	is it right for me? (Preview) My son's father is a recovering addict of nearly 6 months. I had gone through hell with that man and I think I am still harboring a lot of resentment and anger towards him for the things we had gone through. He suggested I go to Al-Anon meetings to try and get help for my anger and hatred for him. But from what...	JrsMommy215	8	1010	Jan 6, 2011 by abbyal
	Nice words to hear (Preview) So in my once again talk session with the on again off again Abf, some nice words were actually said. Finally a calm discussion. He told me that one of the reason that he likes being around me is because I have turned my life around. He said that I have gone from a substance abuser to someone who has settl...	member922	3	1026	Jan 6, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Something powerful I just read in Courage to change.... (Preview) Page 13 January 13th: at the very bottom: "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus.... Wow. I am beginning to see this and realize that its so very true. any e s and h you can share on it? Thanks ;)	sunflowergirl	5	887	Jan 6, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	"When a man loves a woman" (Preview) Watched 'when a man loves a woman' today.I have seen it more than once over the years but I decided to watch it and see if I saw anything new or got any new insights.I did.I saw myself as my AH saw me.A person who projects that she is perfect,so good,so much better than you.If you would just listen to me your l...	drucilla06	8	1580	Jan 5, 2011 by Tracy
	Boyfriend is coming home from treatment tomorrow (Preview) I don't know whether to be excited or scared. I'm a little bit of both, I think. My ABF has been in inpatient treatment since September. We've had family counseling, and got to go out on passes together on weekends after we'd had a few counseling sessions. I have seen him steadily become healthier and ha...	Sangyaa	9	751	Jan 5, 2011 by clep
	Are fights/arguments ever productive? (Preview) My wife & I had a huge blow-out argument last night. I will admit to "starting" it, but I do feel I was justified in my criticism. Long story short, I had been home for 10 days because of the holidays and had found myself becoming more and more frustrated by my wife's complete lack of intera...	usedtobeanyer	18	915	Jan 5, 2011 by Shelly
	Changing my attitude... one moment at a time (Preview) My story is not new. We have all been wrought with some of the same things through our childhoods and lives. Some worse, some not so bad, still causing us to grow a disease... Last night I had an attitude problem about something that I couldn't change. I was cranky, and I could feel my vibes affectin...	sunflowergirl	3	1067	Jan 4, 2011 by member922
	it has been a loooong time! (Preview) It has been a long time since I posted--I guess it was meant to be that I couldn't get on here for quite a while. I have been busy getting it back together & putting the focus back on me after spending the holidays trying to "run the show"! I did have a lot of people around me to bring in the new y...	Hoot Nanny	3	757	Jan 4, 2011 by Jerry F
	Thank God for PAUSE. (Preview) ... working the program in all my affairs. I just about nearly ripped into a supplier at my job because of an unhappy client. I was getting frustrated because everyone else in the office has been in reactionary-mode with the client because he's unhappy. I nearly joined in on the knee-jerk thing... typ...	Aloha	6	1207	Jan 4, 2011 by tiredtonite
	What do you do or say when they beg and are still in denial? (Preview) He called asking to come home. He only gave detox 2 days. He left and has since drank again. I don't know if he used any other drugs. He said it will be 29 degrees tonight. I think he ran out of money. What should I do? Should I take him to a shelter. He can't come back to my home. I just don't feel safe or comfort...	suave75	5	887	Jan 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	requesting prayers be sent our way (Preview) Thanks to Al Anon I have been able to step back and really see what is best for my children and me. I left my AH a year ago to live with my dad who is an functioning alcoholic, nonetheless alcoholic. I have begun to take steps toward freeing myself from familiar uncomfortable known to unfamiliar free. It w...	kath	7	832	Jan 4, 2011 by stephaniej
	SOOO nervous! (Preview) I am going to my first meeting tonight and my anxiety level is HIGH. I am the daughter of an alcoholic (deceased) and daughter of a mother who is doesn't drink but has all the behaviors. I also have a brother who is an alcoholic. I have been seeing a therapist who has encouraged me to attend a meeting. Toni...	hmeshow	9	833	Jan 4, 2011 by xeno59
	Above all , HP in control. (Preview) I never thought I would see this day and it all happened in about 24 hours. The XAH's room mate ran out on the last months rent, naturally XAH cant afford apartment on his own. Well, the landlord gave him his eviction 3 days ago. XAH is not computer literate and does not own one. He asked me to just look and...	Bettina	5	794	Jan 4, 2011 by xeno59
	Tired of it all being about the alcoholic! (Preview) My AH has been sober (again) for 5 months now, during which he's been off work, around the house, talking a lot about all the great changes he is going to make to his life. It's like a record that keeps skipping - he talks about himself, about all the things he wants, what's wrong with his life (and what I'm d...	js399964	7	887	Jan 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	The meaning you give it.. (Preview) Nothing has any meaning save the meaning you give it. This can change your entire experience of life. Repeat this quietly in your mind at any moment of stress or upset: Nothing has any meaning save the meaning I give it. ~Neale Donald Walsch~	Christy	8	894	Jan 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Can I do this another year? (Preview) I guess the new year starting tomorrow and a rough week with AH has me asking myself do I really want to do this another year. Through al anon i have found a peace that I havent had for years in my life. What I'm struggling with is not having a real relationship with my AH. It leaves me feeling very, empty and a...	sarebaer	5	580	Jan 4, 2011 by peacewithin
	How do I continue to live w/my A husband? (Preview) I came to the realization that after 10 years of my husband trying to recover from alcoholism and I am truly powerless. Sorry, but I always thought I could change things. After reading posts of we didn't cause, we can't control and we can't cure, I finally get it. The good news is that my husband is in me...	wifeofalcoholic	9	1070	Jan 3, 2011 by SunnyDays
	Not entirely sure how to deal with my wife (she's co-depending and I'm the recovering alcoholic) (Preview) A bit about myself and the situation. My wife and I have been married for 8 years. I sobered up before we met so she never saw me drink and I've been sober that entire time BUT a couple of years ago I stopped going to AA meetings and went into a dry drunk. Moody, angry at everything and I never told her I was goin...	quadlog	10	1437	Jan 3, 2011 by glad lee
	Chair needed for PM meeting - Tuesday, January 4th (Preview) I am not going to be able to chair tomorrow night's meeting. I really hope that someone will be kind enough to cover for me. Thanks in advance! Happy New Year! Sara aka casa	casa	0	407	Jan 3, 2011 by casa
	Newbie question about enabling (Preview) Hi- I have a specific situation I am wondering about. I haven't gone to any meetings yet or completed any reading but I haven't found the time to do either so I was hoping I could just ask a question and get some opinions. I understand the concept of "stopping enabling" I guess.. just not sure h...	Angeliki	7	800	Jan 3, 2011 by supermom
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.