Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well, today was a pretty stressful day.. My A brother is getting worse and worse as time goes by. He is in pretty rough shape at age 50 and my mother who has breast cancer has been crippling him forever. She babies him to no end. It is absolutely sickening to watch. I have mentioned Alanon but for her she say...

oldergal · oldergal

"I had/have a big fear of losing my compassion thru detachment. I am beginning to understand, though, that my first concepts of detachment were erroneous. It seems that it doesn't make sense (completely) until you actually start practicing it." It does seem confusing Otie, I have be...

Jozie · Jozie

Did ya Ever get so Tired ya Just forgot Who & What you were and are suppose to be heading tords? I got my Calendar out, and in the last 6 WEEKS.... there has been 2 days that I did not Have Something on the Schedule to do after, putting in my 40hr work wk... I keep thinking what can I cut? and Honestly can't c...

chinup · chinup

i need lots of encouragement on flying and being so far away from home in england and im here in mississippi.everytime i go to sleep and wake up i keep having these horible dreams about flying and everything untill i come to reality,im somewhat ok right now.but daughter has to have an answer by tomorrow...

shimo · shimo

I am having a series of tests at the hospital that began last Monday morning, June 6 and continues tomorrow morning June 13, and the morning of June 27. I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday meetings for these dates. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks.

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I don't know what to do right now other then come to Al Anon friends. My ABF of 3 years has been actively drinking again and has not talked to me for the past couple days. Facebook is an awful thing because I have to see every picture he puts up of him drinking and he's also hanging out in groups where there ar...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So my ABF and I have been taking some time apart the past few months...we were living together, but I recently moved back home and we see each other 2 or 3 times a week. In the past few weeks he has been calling less, doesn't call before bed. His phone "dies" all the time. I try to be understanding...

light blue · light blue

My ah is a functional drinker who drinks beer after work. He normally just drinks and he is pleasant .Two nights ago he drunk 3/4 of a bottle of straight JD. For some reason I brought up something in the past that was upsetting me , he then brought up an incident from the past where I was raped (I usually know...

GreenK · GreenK

Hi all, I wasn't sure how active this board is but would like some input and wasn't sure where else I should post this topic. I began attending Alanon meetings early this year and have had profound changes in my personal and work life through the program. I have a wonderful sponsor who has been in the p...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Help! What do I need to do to fix this.....a friend told me if you google my name it's showing all my posts on this Al-anon website, and sure enough, I googled my name and it shows everything I'm posting on this site! What do I need to do to fix this, anyone know? I already removed my name from the settings...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Last night was another Family Meeting Night at the rehab facility. Before the meeting, we met with his counselor privately to discusshis on-going obsession of me having a fling. We got no where with him. I did state that I would not take a polygraph. I told him that it's his job to work it out. That...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been awhile since I've checked in, MIPers, but I do try to come on the board periodically to see how folks are doing. Some of you may recall that my AH was working several hundred miles away, and we were seeing him about one weekend a month. While the arrangement meant I was functionally a single mot...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I was going to go see my exAH tonight, but before I got over there he has called me a few times and in each conversation he is talking down to me and not being nice at all. He is try to make me admit things that make no sense to me and trying to tell me I have never built him up or given him compliments and I am just ne...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I came home yesterday and he was already drunk. Didn't matter at that point, but my fear interjected and on the way to get the kids, he brought a glass of wine with him. When I say glass, I say a large water glass...anyway, it ended up being thrown out of the car window while I lashed out at him on the way to g...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Hello family - I will be unavailable to chair next Friday morning's meeting - I hope someone will be able to step in and run the meeting! Love you all, bg

mr5191 · mr5191

It has been a few weeks since I posted and things have improved some days and others it has not. I have been reading the Al-Anon book and have just ordered the daily reader and an Al-Ateen book for my oldest daughter. I have been following the advice and guidelines of dealing with my AW using detachment...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just got home from the Wednesday Turning Point meeting and watching another Miracle in Progress. The chair for the meeting is a relative newbie who has been clawing for serenity from day one. Mostly she would weep and LOL had already gone thru a box or two of tissues which the meeting supplies. Toni...

coffeegrounds · coffeegrounds

Well I am back! I only posted one other time, about a year ago. But I found my way back. reading your post today I feel encouraged and know that if I work the program I too can find the serenity I so long for. My story: Well 1 year ago my AH went into rehab for a month, at that time I was so relieved that he was...

Debilyn · Debilyn

This darling cutie is my Skinny Pig, a hairless guinea pig! Her name is mazylou. I just love her! She is about 5 weeks old. feels like a sorta thicker ballon. lol When ya hold her she kinda sticks to your hands! I tell people she kept falling asleep during her photo shoot. she is very affectionate and like...

downdenise · downdenise

Hello! I believe I need Al-anon in my life but not sure how to do it at this point because I am mostly in a single parent role. I would like to discuss a lot of the hardships I have been though over the past 3 years but for now would like to discuss my most recent dailys. The man I love is an addict in so many for...

devlynn · devlynn

My f2f tonight was awesome! It wasn't a step meeting and to be honest I think a few of us were a little confused on the exact topic in the begining lol. However it seemed everyones HP had a hand in it tonight! I know mine did!! A copy of The Forum with a highlighted paragraph ended up in front of me to read. The E...

WAJess · WAJess

I do not yet have a sponsor, yet I think it is important to share my thoughts with others seeking or in recovery to gain insight from their experience, hope and strength. I just finished this journal entry after reading today's ODAT. Reasoning resentment away!? What is my motive, my reason for getti...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I am getting a divorce so I am usually angry or sad about the realtionship. I am lonesome, because I want to fastforward to a loving healthy relationship at times. I didn't get a good nights sleep and I am trying to lose weight so not eating much. So I am HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY AND TIRED. Not a good mix today...

QOD · QOD

It's been a while since I've visited this website. I've been rolling along in my life, concentrating on getting my teenage son through a court ordered drug program. Dealing w/my teenager and his legal issues is how I've spent the last few years. In the process of coping with him, I got back together...

hyacinth · hyacinth

H in inpatient rehab. He was diagnosed as bipolar I with co-morbid substance abuse issues. I have a question. He's commented that the people there are in their teens and 20's, most with court ordered rehab. He's 54. He feels as though there is no relating going on in either direction. I didn't re...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

My ex is still in rehab. Today is day 8. He stopped taking detox meds just yesterday. Today, he phoned to tell me that he feels good physically; however, he feels very depressed because he still believes that one of his brothers and I spent time together. He now wants me to take a polygraph test. He s...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

They were words said to me. Their meaning didn't hit me until the conversation ended and I was driving home. It was one of those HP lightening bolt moments. I'm struggling with control. I have a tremendous opportunity to do something I have only dreamed of doing, but it means leaving my AH alone wit...

chinup · chinup

ok, so he says how can one tell,he works 7 days a week hard labor work carpentry,roofing,concrete,jack of all trades but he works all them days and lives with his boss and his family,his past shot dilaudas alot of his life,drank vodka everyday for who kows how long drinks today every day he has got hipa...

devlynn · devlynn

Ok Im sure I shouldn't worry about tomorrow and what not but I know it's coming sobi want to be prepared. Here is my situation. When ABF went to jail his A mom blamed me, all the bs that goes with that and sent me some pretty nasty emails. Well I reacted. This of course wa before I found my program so it wasn't n...

LifesABeach · LifesABeach

Hey! I'm new to the boards but not new to AA/Alanon. I've been married to my AH for over 20 yrs. I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life and have been praying for guidance. I think my prayers may have led me to this board because I'm truly not getting an answer as to what I should do at this point. I'm trying...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I haven't started a topic for a long time. I just wanted you to know that "yes, Tom" I am still lurking around this site. I usually read the topics and responses several times a week, read my daily meditations, and am still attending my F2F meetings weekly. Things in my life are going prett...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Well here I am, after leaving my home town (which I Hate, very small) after a year and a half, Back in town!!! Living with my daughter, no vehicle, no job. Things were just getting worse and worse with Ab/f of nine years. Big blow up, walked out on my job and out of his life. I knew that it was what I needed to pr...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I just absolutely love your posts and your ESH. I used to have 1 when I was in high school. The picture made me laugh and wonder if my eyes were seeing this right??? I just love you!!!!! You rock!

likemyheart · likemyheart

Today I drove a bus of 8th graders over a hundred miles to a mall for a shopping experience. I went to the new pirate movie, enjoyed lunch and browsing some of the shops (and got paid for my time, egads, i love this job!). I started driving bus this last year, its fun and brings me in contact with a lot of reall...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I still struggle with the concept of aism being a family disease. My exAH's aism/addiction was convert and hidden even from me until about 48 hrs before he went to rehab. Obviously a lot of denial, coping and survival skills were in place for me. My daughter was 10 when our family blew up. Initally...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking a lot about my biggest fear when I got here - which was letting go. I thought that letting go was a sign of defeat, and I was so scared of what would happen if I did it. I was mostly afraid that if I let go, I'd lose my AH. As bad as his drinking was, I thought it would be worse without my help...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am here to be honest right? Well last night, my bf had to go to a DUI thing. In this state, they have people take these once a week classes inorder to get their license back. Anyway, he drank 4 nips of vodka before the class, over a period of a few hours. I tried super hard to stay on my own side of the stree...

danyell · danyell

Yep, tyipical first born, type A, perfectionist who tried to handle it on my own for so long. I just became angry and bitter at all the betrayal, hurt and pain my husband was causing me because of his drinking. We have been together for 17 years..married for almost 12 of those years. College sweethea...

nadjjaa · nadjjaa

So my husband is getting ready to go on diversion for his recent DUI. He will not be able to drink for 1 year and will have to submit to pee tests. THAT'S how he plans to deal with his alcohol issues. As for his depression, anxiety, anger, stress problems, he's decided to go off his Effexor (depression me...

clep · clep

Today in church I just broke down and cried. My A burned his AA book a while ago and then went back to the program. The recovery didn't last long and I noticed on Friday tha he hasn't gone to meetings in over a month I think. I don't really remember. I notice him obsessing over our pets, over becoming a b...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I had coffee with a friend of mine this morning and we were catching up on news. I told her i had been attending al-anon meetings since October and how much progress I have made already. She told me one of her best friend said al-anon is a life changing experience. I let that statement sync in but I have to a...

devlynn · devlynn

I just talked to my friend. I gave her to low down on ABF and what all happened when I told him he couldn't live here and so on. This one of the same friends that told me if I stayed with ABF she wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. I've shared with her many things that have learned in my recover and...

youfoundme · youfoundme

"I came to Al-Anon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today, after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values to please myself first to rid myself of anger and resentment to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them to a...

devlynn · devlynn

Wow...I feel "blank" right now. I can feel so many emotions getting ready to surface but they are fighting over which one is going to surface first. I just talked to my ABF who is in jail. His emotions have been flop flopping all over the place when I talk to him. Part of being I guess, can't co...

atheos · atheos

I had a nightmare, which left me feeling pretty shaken. I wanted to hear a voice on the other end of the phone, and my sister usually gets up at 5 AM (it was 7 AM), so I thought it was OK to call her. But it turns out she'd gone to bed late, so I woke her up early. Only getting two hours of sleep is really not a good th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Another post here really got me thinking. For those of you that have attended alanon for a long time and have seen people move through the program, I am wondering if people usually stay with their partners who are active alcoholics or wind up leaving? I can't help but think the inevitable result of fo...

Rora · Rora

I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the tolerance that I offered my exaH over the years, (the OVER tolerance), was all about ME, not HIM. At one time I thought I was loving him, offering him the support and understanding he needed and deserved. I thought I was not turning my back on him. I w...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I was wondering if anyone has had experiences with an alcoholic that had delusions. I have been searching on the Internet for information regarding delusions. Like everything else, I suspect the delusions can become more frequent and their nature more bizarre with time. I'm very concerned about...

Della · Della

Any alcoholics here can tell me why they started drinking in the first place? Or can any families of the alcoholic tell me why the A in their life started drinking? I joined here yesterday but if you didn't catch any of my few posts, my fiance of 5 years died a little over a month ago from this terrible, evil...

Ness · Ness

Phone rang Sat night.....recognised the code as the town my son is in, but didnt recognise the number......let the answering service take it. Message from the police, (Ason) is in custody, court today (Monday). So........a: I know hes alive & b: he was safe in a police cell all weekend. Dont know...

Brooke · Brooke

Hi, I am new to Al-Anon. Just learning and relieved for the help available. Im 40yrs of age, and we just had our 20yr wedding anniversary. We've two sons, 11 and 3yrs. The last 9months have been a nightmare. My husband started drinking to avoid his unbearable feelings, and apparently my anger toward hi...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone:) My husband has been sober almost 4 months, went the detox then rehab, then back to detox and rehab, and now he lives in a sober living home, got a job, supports himself and does all he can to help me out (coming over here and cutting the grass, giving me money every payday, just helping out)....

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I just wanted to thank all of you who shared your experience and kind words with me. It's been 24 hours since I've heard from him =*( I've tried to call and text him, but he is blatantly ignoring me. At a meeting last night, someone told me that he is avoiding me because I am his reality. When he's out having a...

parfait624 · parfait624

My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...

nsnyder304 · nsnyder304

This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...

atheos · atheos

I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?

WAJess · WAJess

I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.

chinup · chinup

im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...

oldergal · oldergal

So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Trying to Keep my head on straight.. (Preview) Well, today was a pretty stressful day.. My A brother is getting worse and worse as time goes by. He is in pretty rough shape at age 50 and my mother who has breast cancer has been crippling him forever. She babies him to no end. It is absolutely sickening to watch. I have mentioned Alanon but for her she say...	Samsgram	2	674	Jun 13, 2011 by kitty
	On Part of Otie's Post/Detachment (Preview) "I had/have a big fear of losing my compassion thru detachment. I am beginning to understand, though, that my first concepts of detachment were erroneous. It seems that it doesn't make sense (completely) until you actually start practicing it." It does seem confusing Otie, I have be...	oldergal	3	404	Jun 13, 2011 by kitty
	Just Tired... (Preview) Did ya Ever get so Tired ya Just forgot Who & What you were and are suppose to be heading tords? I got my Calendar out, and in the last 6 WEEKS.... there has been 2 days that I did not Have Something on the Schedule to do after, putting in my 40hr work wk... I keep thinking what can I cut? and Honestly can't c...	Jozie	4	490	Jun 12, 2011 by Jozie
	never flown or ever been away from home here in 30 yrs (Preview) i need lots of encouragement on flying and being so far away from home in england and im here in mississippi.everytime i go to sleep and wake up i keep having these horible dreams about flying and everything untill i come to reality,im somewhat ok right now.but daughter has to have an answer by tomorrow...	chinup	6	400	Jun 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	AL-ANON MTG JUNE 13 & JUNE 27 (Preview) I am having a series of tests at the hospital that began last Monday morning, June 6 and continues tomorrow morning June 13, and the morning of June 27. I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday meetings for these dates. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	324	Jun 12, 2011 by shimo
	Heartbrokem beyond belief (Preview) I don't know what to do right now other then come to Al Anon friends. My ABF of 3 years has been actively drinking again and has not talked to me for the past couple days. Facebook is an awful thing because I have to see every picture he puts up of him drinking and he's also hanging out in groups where there ar...	Corgi2	13	641	Jun 11, 2011 by Tracy
	He doesn't want me... (Preview) So my ABF and I have been taking some time apart the past few months...we were living together, but I recently moved back home and we see each other 2 or 3 times a week. In the past few weeks he has been calling less, doesn't call before bed. His phone "dies" all the time. I try to be understanding...	Corgi2	9	696	Jun 10, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Damaged (Preview) My ah is a functional drinker who drinks beer after work. He normally just drinks and he is pleasant .Two nights ago he drunk 3/4 of a bottle of straight JD. For some reason I brought up something in the past that was upsetting me , he then brought up an incident from the past where I was raped (I usually know...	light blue	5	471	Jun 10, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Question about non CAL being brought into meetings (Preview) Hi all, I wasn't sure how active this board is but would like some input and wasn't sure where else I should post this topic. I began attending Alanon meetings early this year and have had profound changes in my personal and work life through the program. I have a wonderful sponsor who has been in the p...	GreenK	5	550	Jun 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Google is making this board not private! (Preview) Help! What do I need to do to fix this.....a friend told me if you google my name it's showing all my posts on this Al-anon website, and sure enough, I googled my name and it shows everything I'm posting on this site! What do I need to do to fix this, anyone know? I already removed my name from the settings...	sdisnie	10	681	Jun 10, 2011 by Otie
	Reality Can Be Harsh (Preview) Last night was another Family Meeting Night at the rehab facility. Before the meeting, we met with his counselor privately to discusshis on-going obsession of me having a fling. We got no where with him. I did state that I would not take a polygraph. I told him that it's his job to work it out. That...	GailMichelle	5	700	Jun 10, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Working HARD to maintain my serenity... (Preview) It's been awhile since I've checked in, MIPers, but I do try to come on the board periodically to see how folks are doing. Some of you may recall that my AH was working several hundred miles away, and we were seeing him about one weekend a month. While the arrangement meant I was functionally a single mot...	stephaniej	1	429	Jun 10, 2011 by youfoundme
	Overwhelmed times 10! (Preview) I was going to go see my exAH tonight, but before I got over there he has called me a few times and in each conversation he is talking down to me and not being nice at all. He is try to make me admit things that make no sense to me and trying to tell me I have never built him up or given him compliments and I am just ne...	flopadopilus	8	492	Jun 10, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I lost it at 2am (Preview) I came home yesterday and he was already drunk. Didn't matter at that point, but my fear interjected and on the way to get the kids, he brought a glass of wine with him. When I say glass, I say a large water glass...anyway, it ended up being thrown out of the car window while I lashed out at him on the way to g...	youfoundme	13	690	Jun 10, 2011 by youfoundme
	Need a chair for Friday June 17 morning meeting (Preview) Hello family - I will be unavailable to chair next Friday morning's meeting - I hope someone will be able to step in and run the meeting! Love you all, bg	blender_girl	0	227	Jun 10, 2011 by blender_girl
	safety issues (Preview) It has been a few weeks since I posted and things have improved some days and others it has not. I have been reading the Al-Anon book and have just ordered the daily reader and an Al-Ateen book for my oldest daughter. I have been following the advice and guidelines of dealing with my AW using detachment...	mr5191	12	522	Jun 10, 2011 by Rora
	A Miracle in Progress (Preview) Just got home from the Wednesday Turning Point meeting and watching another Miracle in Progress. The chair for the meeting is a relative newbie who has been clawing for serenity from day one. Mostly she would weep and LOL had already gone thru a box or two of tissues which the meeting supplies. Toni...	Jerry F	9	1208	Jun 10, 2011 by Rora
	I back and ready to find my serenity! (Preview) Well I am back! I only posted one other time, about a year ago. But I found my way back. reading your post today I feel encouraged and know that if I work the program I too can find the serenity I so long for. My story: Well 1 year ago my AH went into rehab for a month, at that time I was so relieved that he was...	coffeegrounds	6	696	Jun 9, 2011 by nice4ever
	No that is a naked girl! (Preview) This darling cutie is my Skinny Pig, a hairless guinea pig! Her name is mazylou. I just love her! She is about 5 weeks old. feels like a sorta thicker ballon. lol When ya hold her she kinda sticks to your hands! I tell people she kept falling asleep during her photo shoot. she is very affectionate and like...	Debilyn	8	1282	Jun 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	So much hurt (Preview) Hello! I believe I need Al-anon in my life but not sure how to do it at this point because I am mostly in a single parent role. I would like to discuss a lot of the hardships I have been though over the past 3 years but for now would like to discuss my most recent dailys. The man I love is an addict in so many for...	downdenise	8	587	Jun 9, 2011 by parfait624
	One day at a time, another f2f under my belt and happy (Preview) My f2f tonight was awesome! It wasn't a step meeting and to be honest I think a few of us were a little confused on the exact topic in the begining lol. However it seemed everyones HP had a hand in it tonight! I know mine did!! A copy of The Forum with a highlighted paragraph ended up in front of me to read. The E...	devlynn	4	499	Jun 9, 2011 by WAJess
	Impulse to Resent (Preview) I do not yet have a sponsor, yet I think it is important to share my thoughts with others seeking or in recovery to gain insight from their experience, hope and strength. I just finished this journal entry after reading today's ODAT. Reasoning resentment away!? What is my motive, my reason for getti...	WAJess	6	605	Jun 9, 2011 by WAJess
	I am HALT (Preview) I am getting a divorce so I am usually angry or sad about the realtionship. I am lonesome, because I want to fastforward to a loving healthy relationship at times. I didn't get a good nights sleep and I am trying to lose weight so not eating much. So I am HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY AND TIRED. Not a good mix today...	flopadopilus	6	1138	Jun 9, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	The more things change, the more they stay the same. (Preview) It's been a while since I've visited this website. I've been rolling along in my life, concentrating on getting my teenage son through a court ordered drug program. Dealing w/my teenager and his legal issues is how I've spent the last few years. In the process of coping with him, I got back together...	QOD	7	618	Jun 9, 2011 by Otie
	Newbie has a question - re: bipolar and substance abuse issues (Preview) H in inpatient rehab. He was diagnosed as bipolar I with co-morbid substance abuse issues. I have a question. He's commented that the people there are in their teens and 20's, most with court ordered rehab. He's 54. He feels as though there is no relating going on in either direction. I didn't re...	hyacinth	5	710	Jun 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	Now He is Requesting I take a Polygraph Test (Preview) My ex is still in rehab. Today is day 8. He stopped taking detox meds just yesterday. Today, he phoned to tell me that he feels good physically; however, he feels very depressed because he still believes that one of his brothers and I spent time together. He now wants me to take a polygraph test. He s...	GailMichelle	16	784	Jun 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	"Let someone else handle things for awhile..." (Preview) They were words said to me. Their meaning didn't hit me until the conversation ended and I was driving home. It was one of those HP lightening bolt moments. I'm struggling with control. I have a tremendous opportunity to do something I have only dreamed of doing, but it means leaving my AH alone wit...	Very Very Tired	3	435	Jun 8, 2011 by hotrod
	my a says he is as healthy as can be (Preview) ok, so he says how can one tell,he works 7 days a week hard labor work carpentry,roofing,concrete,jack of all trades but he works all them days and lives with his boss and his family,his past shot dilaudas alot of his life,drank vodka everyday for who kows how long drinks today every day he has got hipa...	chinup	13	512	Jun 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	ESH please before "it" hits the fan- I'm ashamed and embarrassed (Preview) Ok Im sure I shouldn't worry about tomorrow and what not but I know it's coming sobi want to be prepared. Here is my situation. When ABF went to jail his A mom blamed me, all the bs that goes with that and sent me some pretty nasty emails. Well I reacted. This of course wa before I found my program so it wasn't n...	devlynn	12	448	Jun 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Newcomer here........ (Preview) Hey! I'm new to the boards but not new to AA/Alanon. I've been married to my AH for over 20 yrs. I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life and have been praying for guidance. I think my prayers may have led me to this board because I'm truly not getting an answer as to what I should do at this point. I'm trying...	LifesABeach	7	372	Jun 8, 2011 by LifesABeach
	I am still here... (Preview) I haven't started a topic for a long time. I just wanted you to know that "yes, Tom" I am still lurking around this site. I usually read the topics and responses several times a week, read my daily meditations, and am still attending my F2F meetings weekly. Things in my life are going prett...	Sweet Stanley	2	344	Jun 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	needing some ESH, Trying to move on..... (Preview) Well here I am, after leaving my home town (which I Hate, very small) after a year and a half, Back in town!!! Living with my daughter, no vehicle, no job. Things were just getting worse and worse with Ab/f of nine years. Big blow up, walked out on my job and out of his life. I knew that it was what I needed to pr...	sisdragonfly1957	6	538	Jun 8, 2011 by Otie
	Debilyn is that a hairless rat on your profile pic? (Preview) I just absolutely love your posts and your ESH. I used to have 1 when I was in high school. The picture made me laugh and wonder if my eyes were seeing this right??? I just love you!!!!! You rock!	flopadopilus	2	487	Jun 8, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Forgetting how good we are. (Preview) Today I drove a bus of 8th graders over a hundred miles to a mall for a shopping experience. I went to the new pirate movie, enjoyed lunch and browsing some of the shops (and got paid for my time, egads, i love this job!). I started driving bus this last year, its fun and brings me in contact with a lot of reall...	likemyheart	7	375	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	She wants to go back :) (Preview) I still struggle with the concept of aism being a family disease. My exAH's aism/addiction was convert and hidden even from me until about 48 hrs before he went to rehab. Obviously a lot of denial, coping and survival skills were in place for me. My daughter was 10 when our family blew up. Initally...	Loupiness	4	374	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Letting go (Preview) I've been thinking a lot about my biggest fear when I got here - which was letting go. I thought that letting go was a sign of defeat, and I was so scared of what would happen if I did it. I was mostly afraid that if I let go, I'd lose my AH. As bad as his drinking was, I thought it would be worse without my help...	White Rabbit	6	531	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I said something terribly mean... :( (Preview) I am here to be honest right? Well last night, my bf had to go to a DUI thing. In this state, they have people take these once a week classes inorder to get their license back. Anyway, he drank 4 nips of vodka before the class, over a period of a few hours. I tried super hard to stay on my own side of the stree...	youfoundme	10	2920	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Miss independent here finally asking for help :) (Preview) Yep, tyipical first born, type A, perfectionist who tried to handle it on my own for so long. I just became angry and bitter at all the betrayal, hurt and pain my husband was causing me because of his drinking. We have been together for 17 years..married for almost 12 of those years. College sweethea...	danyell	9	603	Jun 7, 2011 by danyell
	VENT: His grand master plan is....do nothing!! (Preview) So my husband is getting ready to go on diversion for his recent DUI. He will not be able to drink for 1 year and will have to submit to pee tests. THAT'S how he plans to deal with his alcohol issues. As for his depression, anxiety, anger, stress problems, he's decided to go off his Effexor (depression me...	nadjjaa	3	390	Jun 7, 2011 by xeno59
	I miss my recovering A. (Preview) Today in church I just broke down and cried. My A burned his AA book a while ago and then went back to the program. The recovery didn't last long and I noticed on Friday tha he hasn't gone to meetings in over a month I think. I don't really remember. I notice him obsessing over our pets, over becoming a b...	clep	3	529	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Al-Anon life changing experience (Preview) I had coffee with a friend of mine this morning and we were catching up on news. I told her i had been attending al-anon meetings since October and how much progress I have made already. She told me one of her best friend said al-anon is a life changing experience. I let that statement sync in but I have to a...	Crazy Frog	3	677	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	I want to share a feel good moment (Preview) I just talked to my friend. I gave her to low down on ABF and what all happened when I told him he couldn't live here and so on. This one of the same friends that told me if I stayed with ABF she wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. I've shared with her many things that have learned in my recover and...	devlynn	2	436	Jun 7, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I am responsible (Preview) "I came to Al-Anon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today, after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values to please myself first to rid myself of anger and resentment to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them to a...	youfoundme	6	1395	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Numb, confused and at a loss right now (Preview) Wow...I feel "blank" right now. I can feel so many emotions getting ready to surface but they are fighting over which one is going to surface first. I just talked to my ABF who is in jail. His emotions have been flop flopping all over the place when I talk to him. Part of being I guess, can't co...	devlynn	7	437	Jun 7, 2011 by devlynn
	It was just a stupid phonecall... (Preview) I had a nightmare, which left me feeling pretty shaken. I wanted to hear a voice on the other end of the phone, and my sister usually gets up at 5 AM (it was 7 AM), so I thought it was OK to call her. But it turns out she'd gone to bed late, so I woke her up early. Only getting two hours of sleep is really not a good th...	atheos	5	547	Jun 7, 2011 by hotrod
	Just curious/confused (Preview) Another post here really got me thinking. For those of you that have attended alanon for a long time and have seen people move through the program, I am wondering if people usually stay with their partners who are active alcoholics or wind up leaving? I can't help but think the inevitable result of fo...	pinkchip	19	667	Jun 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	I don't know why it took me so long... (Preview) I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the tolerance that I offered my exaH over the years, (the OVER tolerance), was all about ME, not HIM. At one time I thought I was loving him, offering him the support and understanding he needed and deserved. I thought I was not turning my back on him. I w...	Rora	6	448	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	Delusions from Withdrawals (Preview) I was wondering if anyone has had experiences with an alcoholic that had delusions. I have been searching on the Internet for information regarding delusions. Like everything else, I suspect the delusions can become more frequent and their nature more bizarre with time. I'm very concerned about...	GailMichelle	15	832	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	The cause of drinking (Preview) Any alcoholics here can tell me why they started drinking in the first place? Or can any families of the alcoholic tell me why the A in their life started drinking? I joined here yesterday but if you didn't catch any of my few posts, my fiance of 5 years died a little over a month ago from this terrible, evil...	Della	11	606	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	And so it progresses....... (Preview) Phone rang Sat night.....recognised the code as the town my son is in, but didnt recognise the number......let the answering service take it. Message from the police, (Ason) is in custody, court today (Monday). So........a: I know hes alive & b: he was safe in a police cell all weekend. Dont know...	Ness	8	516	Jun 7, 2011 by hotrod
	We've just scraped through, and now start the sobriety journey with Antabuse... (Preview) Hi, I am new to Al-Anon. Just learning and relieved for the help available. Im 40yrs of age, and we just had our 20yr wedding anniversary. We've two sons, 11 and 3yrs. The last 9months have been a nightmare. My husband started drinking to avoid his unbearable feelings, and apparently my anger toward hi...	Brooke	6	430	Jun 7, 2011 by Brooke
	question (Preview) Hi everyone:) My husband has been sober almost 4 months, went the detox then rehab, then back to detox and rehab, and now he lives in a sober living home, got a job, supports himself and does all he can to help me out (coming over here and cutting the grass, giving me money every payday, just helping out)....	danielle0516	6	567	Jun 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	Thanks for the support and understanding (Preview) I just wanted to thank all of you who shared your experience and kind words with me. It's been 24 hours since I've heard from him =*( I've tried to call and text him, but he is blatantly ignoring me. At a meeting last night, someone told me that he is avoiding me because I am his reality. When he's out having a...	Corgi2	7	380	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	It's sad and out of my hands (Preview) My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...	parfait624	4	591	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	very nervous, not sure how all of this works (Preview) This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...	nsnyder304	6	520	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	What is ESH? (Preview) I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?	atheos	3	375	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Now what!?!?!???? (Preview) I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...	WAJess	2	406	Jun 6, 2011 by WAJess
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.	shimo	1	344	Jun 6, 2011 by Overcome
	breaking it off completely from a (Preview) im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...	chinup	9	623	Jun 6, 2011 by chinup
	Jealousy a Common Feeling? (Preview) So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...	oldergal	8	1997	Jun 6, 2011 by canadianguy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.