Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

chinup · chinup

ok, so he says how can one tell,he works 7 days a week hard labor work carpentry,roofing,concrete,jack of all trades but he works all them days and lives with his boss and his family,his past shot dilaudas alot of his life,drank vodka everyday for who kows how long drinks today every day he has got hipa...

devlynn · devlynn

Ok Im sure I shouldn't worry about tomorrow and what not but I know it's coming sobi want to be prepared. Here is my situation. When ABF went to jail his A mom blamed me, all the bs that goes with that and sent me some pretty nasty emails. Well I reacted. This of course wa before I found my program so it wasn't n...

LifesABeach · LifesABeach

Hey! I'm new to the boards but not new to AA/Alanon. I've been married to my AH for over 20 yrs. I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life and have been praying for guidance. I think my prayers may have led me to this board because I'm truly not getting an answer as to what I should do at this point. I'm trying...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I haven't started a topic for a long time. I just wanted you to know that "yes, Tom" I am still lurking around this site. I usually read the topics and responses several times a week, read my daily meditations, and am still attending my F2F meetings weekly. Things in my life are going prett...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Well here I am, after leaving my home town (which I Hate, very small) after a year and a half, Back in town!!! Living with my daughter, no vehicle, no job. Things were just getting worse and worse with Ab/f of nine years. Big blow up, walked out on my job and out of his life. I knew that it was what I needed to pr...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I just absolutely love your posts and your ESH. I used to have 1 when I was in high school. The picture made me laugh and wonder if my eyes were seeing this right??? I just love you!!!!! You rock!

likemyheart · likemyheart

Today I drove a bus of 8th graders over a hundred miles to a mall for a shopping experience. I went to the new pirate movie, enjoyed lunch and browsing some of the shops (and got paid for my time, egads, i love this job!). I started driving bus this last year, its fun and brings me in contact with a lot of reall...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I still struggle with the concept of aism being a family disease. My exAH's aism/addiction was convert and hidden even from me until about 48 hrs before he went to rehab. Obviously a lot of denial, coping and survival skills were in place for me. My daughter was 10 when our family blew up. Initally...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking a lot about my biggest fear when I got here - which was letting go. I thought that letting go was a sign of defeat, and I was so scared of what would happen if I did it. I was mostly afraid that if I let go, I'd lose my AH. As bad as his drinking was, I thought it would be worse without my help...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am here to be honest right? Well last night, my bf had to go to a DUI thing. In this state, they have people take these once a week classes inorder to get their license back. Anyway, he drank 4 nips of vodka before the class, over a period of a few hours. I tried super hard to stay on my own side of the stree...

danyell · danyell

Yep, tyipical first born, type A, perfectionist who tried to handle it on my own for so long. I just became angry and bitter at all the betrayal, hurt and pain my husband was causing me because of his drinking. We have been together for 17 years..married for almost 12 of those years. College sweethea...

nadjjaa · nadjjaa

So my husband is getting ready to go on diversion for his recent DUI. He will not be able to drink for 1 year and will have to submit to pee tests. THAT'S how he plans to deal with his alcohol issues. As for his depression, anxiety, anger, stress problems, he's decided to go off his Effexor (depression me...

clep · clep

Today in church I just broke down and cried. My A burned his AA book a while ago and then went back to the program. The recovery didn't last long and I noticed on Friday tha he hasn't gone to meetings in over a month I think. I don't really remember. I notice him obsessing over our pets, over becoming a b...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I had coffee with a friend of mine this morning and we were catching up on news. I told her i had been attending al-anon meetings since October and how much progress I have made already. She told me one of her best friend said al-anon is a life changing experience. I let that statement sync in but I have to a...

devlynn · devlynn

I just talked to my friend. I gave her to low down on ABF and what all happened when I told him he couldn't live here and so on. This one of the same friends that told me if I stayed with ABF she wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. I've shared with her many things that have learned in my recover and...

youfoundme · youfoundme

"I came to Al-Anon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today, after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values to please myself first to rid myself of anger and resentment to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them to a...

devlynn · devlynn

Wow...I feel "blank" right now. I can feel so many emotions getting ready to surface but they are fighting over which one is going to surface first. I just talked to my ABF who is in jail. His emotions have been flop flopping all over the place when I talk to him. Part of being I guess, can't co...

atheos · atheos

I had a nightmare, which left me feeling pretty shaken. I wanted to hear a voice on the other end of the phone, and my sister usually gets up at 5 AM (it was 7 AM), so I thought it was OK to call her. But it turns out she'd gone to bed late, so I woke her up early. Only getting two hours of sleep is really not a good th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Another post here really got me thinking. For those of you that have attended alanon for a long time and have seen people move through the program, I am wondering if people usually stay with their partners who are active alcoholics or wind up leaving? I can't help but think the inevitable result of fo...

Rora · Rora

I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the tolerance that I offered my exaH over the years, (the OVER tolerance), was all about ME, not HIM. At one time I thought I was loving him, offering him the support and understanding he needed and deserved. I thought I was not turning my back on him. I w...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I was wondering if anyone has had experiences with an alcoholic that had delusions. I have been searching on the Internet for information regarding delusions. Like everything else, I suspect the delusions can become more frequent and their nature more bizarre with time. I'm very concerned about...

Della · Della

Any alcoholics here can tell me why they started drinking in the first place? Or can any families of the alcoholic tell me why the A in their life started drinking? I joined here yesterday but if you didn't catch any of my few posts, my fiance of 5 years died a little over a month ago from this terrible, evil...

Ness · Ness

Phone rang Sat night.....recognised the code as the town my son is in, but didnt recognise the number......let the answering service take it. Message from the police, (Ason) is in custody, court today (Monday). So........a: I know hes alive & b: he was safe in a police cell all weekend. Dont know...

Brooke · Brooke

Hi, I am new to Al-Anon. Just learning and relieved for the help available. Im 40yrs of age, and we just had our 20yr wedding anniversary. We've two sons, 11 and 3yrs. The last 9months have been a nightmare. My husband started drinking to avoid his unbearable feelings, and apparently my anger toward hi...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone:) My husband has been sober almost 4 months, went the detox then rehab, then back to detox and rehab, and now he lives in a sober living home, got a job, supports himself and does all he can to help me out (coming over here and cutting the grass, giving me money every payday, just helping out)....

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I just wanted to thank all of you who shared your experience and kind words with me. It's been 24 hours since I've heard from him =*( I've tried to call and text him, but he is blatantly ignoring me. At a meeting last night, someone told me that he is avoiding me because I am his reality. When he's out having a...

parfait624 · parfait624

My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...

nsnyder304 · nsnyder304

This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...

atheos · atheos

I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?

WAJess · WAJess

I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.

chinup · chinup

im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...

oldergal · oldergal

So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...

devlynn · devlynn

My question is this: is there a difference Between someone who drinks a lot and an alcoholic? I have a friend who says she was an alcoholic about 15 years ago. I was surprised because I've never really seen her drink. Even at parties where it was plentiful. I've seen have a glass of wine with dinner kind...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I am curious to know what triggers an alcoholic to look for help meaning e Going to AA for example. I am not judging when I say the following: a relative went into DT (delirium tremens) and had a DUI and denies she has a problem, a friend of mines dad is dying of liver failure due to alcohol and still denies. S...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! I have a sponsor, I've worked the 12 steps (and continue to work it every day!!), and I live the solution in my life everyday. It's amazing how there is never a shortage of opportunities to use my nifty new al-anon tools. Life is funny that way, isn't it? Anyway, I have been to a few al-anon meetings (me...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi - sorry, I haven't been here for a little while. Things have been very difficult. AH, having been told after his last hospital admission that he must give up drinking, eat normally and take his prescribed medication, has done none of these things. His physical condition has been deteriorating bef...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I really don't like to throw all my personal stuff out there....but I really need to vent, I'm just beside myself, it's one thing after another and I never have the chance to work on my healing because I have so much on my plate!! In a nut shell, I'm trying to do everything I can to move forward emotionally...

devlynn · devlynn

Confusing subject line huh? LOL Here is my situation, (Im just going to put it out there like it so my brain wont hurt so much while i type this lol.) My ABF is disabled and receives SSDI. His doctors, the State and who ever else know he is an A, recovering addict and has been homeless on more then one occasi...

linbaba · linbaba

Boundaries to me are what the entire Program hinge on, learning where I end and another person begins, I spent nearly my entire life wondering why my "boundaries" worked with some people but not others, because I thought enforcing a boundary meant informing another person how they had ha...

Della · Della

Hi, I'm new here and this site was the first thing that came up when I typed in Al anon message board into google. My partner died recently from alcoholism. To be honest, since his death. I feel a bit at peace as before I was always worried each day whether he's be alive or not, what danger he'd put himself th...

linbaba · linbaba

Otie asked me to post on a few subjects, both in a thread, and in a PM, and they are so diverse I'd thought I'd split them up 12 stepping alcoholics/ ruining their drinking/ parents with alcoholic children First of all, I am a firm believer in a few things: The Three "C's" I can't control them I c...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...

jamfu · jamfu

I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...

jamfu · jamfu

Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...

dotmeg · dotmeg

This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...

devlynn · devlynn

Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...

oldergal · oldergal

Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....

chinup · chinup

just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...

Hayes · Hayes

Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...

jamfu · jamfu

Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...

biglee · biglee

Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...

devlynn · devlynn

I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...

chinup · chinup

my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb

Party of Five · Party of Five

Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...

Otie · Otie

Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...

sdisnie · sdisnie

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	my a says he is as healthy as can be (Preview) ok, so he says how can one tell,he works 7 days a week hard labor work carpentry,roofing,concrete,jack of all trades but he works all them days and lives with his boss and his family,his past shot dilaudas alot of his life,drank vodka everyday for who kows how long drinks today every day he has got hipa...	chinup	13	442	Jun 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	ESH please before "it" hits the fan- I'm ashamed and embarrassed (Preview) Ok Im sure I shouldn't worry about tomorrow and what not but I know it's coming sobi want to be prepared. Here is my situation. When ABF went to jail his A mom blamed me, all the bs that goes with that and sent me some pretty nasty emails. Well I reacted. This of course wa before I found my program so it wasn't n...	devlynn	12	373	Jun 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Newcomer here........ (Preview) Hey! I'm new to the boards but not new to AA/Alanon. I've been married to my AH for over 20 yrs. I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life and have been praying for guidance. I think my prayers may have led me to this board because I'm truly not getting an answer as to what I should do at this point. I'm trying...	LifesABeach	7	295	Jun 8, 2011 by LifesABeach
	I am still here... (Preview) I haven't started a topic for a long time. I just wanted you to know that "yes, Tom" I am still lurking around this site. I usually read the topics and responses several times a week, read my daily meditations, and am still attending my F2F meetings weekly. Things in my life are going prett...	Sweet Stanley	2	274	Jun 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	needing some ESH, Trying to move on..... (Preview) Well here I am, after leaving my home town (which I Hate, very small) after a year and a half, Back in town!!! Living with my daughter, no vehicle, no job. Things were just getting worse and worse with Ab/f of nine years. Big blow up, walked out on my job and out of his life. I knew that it was what I needed to pr...	sisdragonfly1957	6	468	Jun 8, 2011 by Otie
	Debilyn is that a hairless rat on your profile pic? (Preview) I just absolutely love your posts and your ESH. I used to have 1 when I was in high school. The picture made me laugh and wonder if my eyes were seeing this right??? I just love you!!!!! You rock!	flopadopilus	2	415	Jun 8, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Forgetting how good we are. (Preview) Today I drove a bus of 8th graders over a hundred miles to a mall for a shopping experience. I went to the new pirate movie, enjoyed lunch and browsing some of the shops (and got paid for my time, egads, i love this job!). I started driving bus this last year, its fun and brings me in contact with a lot of reall...	likemyheart	7	298	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	She wants to go back :) (Preview) I still struggle with the concept of aism being a family disease. My exAH's aism/addiction was convert and hidden even from me until about 48 hrs before he went to rehab. Obviously a lot of denial, coping and survival skills were in place for me. My daughter was 10 when our family blew up. Initally...	Loupiness	4	300	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Letting go (Preview) I've been thinking a lot about my biggest fear when I got here - which was letting go. I thought that letting go was a sign of defeat, and I was so scared of what would happen if I did it. I was mostly afraid that if I let go, I'd lose my AH. As bad as his drinking was, I thought it would be worse without my help...	White Rabbit	6	460	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I said something terribly mean... :( (Preview) I am here to be honest right? Well last night, my bf had to go to a DUI thing. In this state, they have people take these once a week classes inorder to get their license back. Anyway, he drank 4 nips of vodka before the class, over a period of a few hours. I tried super hard to stay on my own side of the stree...	youfoundme	10	2683	Jun 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Miss independent here finally asking for help :) (Preview) Yep, tyipical first born, type A, perfectionist who tried to handle it on my own for so long. I just became angry and bitter at all the betrayal, hurt and pain my husband was causing me because of his drinking. We have been together for 17 years..married for almost 12 of those years. College sweethea...	danyell	9	516	Jun 7, 2011 by danyell
	VENT: His grand master plan is....do nothing!! (Preview) So my husband is getting ready to go on diversion for his recent DUI. He will not be able to drink for 1 year and will have to submit to pee tests. THAT'S how he plans to deal with his alcohol issues. As for his depression, anxiety, anger, stress problems, he's decided to go off his Effexor (depression me...	nadjjaa	3	319	Jun 7, 2011 by xeno59
	I miss my recovering A. (Preview) Today in church I just broke down and cried. My A burned his AA book a while ago and then went back to the program. The recovery didn't last long and I noticed on Friday tha he hasn't gone to meetings in over a month I think. I don't really remember. I notice him obsessing over our pets, over becoming a b...	clep	3	456	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Al-Anon life changing experience (Preview) I had coffee with a friend of mine this morning and we were catching up on news. I told her i had been attending al-anon meetings since October and how much progress I have made already. She told me one of her best friend said al-anon is a life changing experience. I let that statement sync in but I have to a...	Crazy Frog	3	603	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	I want to share a feel good moment (Preview) I just talked to my friend. I gave her to low down on ABF and what all happened when I told him he couldn't live here and so on. This one of the same friends that told me if I stayed with ABF she wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. I've shared with her many things that have learned in my recover and...	devlynn	2	366	Jun 7, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I am responsible (Preview) "I came to Al-Anon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today, after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values to please myself first to rid myself of anger and resentment to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them to a...	youfoundme	6	1316	Jun 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Numb, confused and at a loss right now (Preview) Wow...I feel "blank" right now. I can feel so many emotions getting ready to surface but they are fighting over which one is going to surface first. I just talked to my ABF who is in jail. His emotions have been flop flopping all over the place when I talk to him. Part of being I guess, can't co...	devlynn	7	364	Jun 7, 2011 by devlynn
	It was just a stupid phonecall... (Preview) I had a nightmare, which left me feeling pretty shaken. I wanted to hear a voice on the other end of the phone, and my sister usually gets up at 5 AM (it was 7 AM), so I thought it was OK to call her. But it turns out she'd gone to bed late, so I woke her up early. Only getting two hours of sleep is really not a good th...	atheos	5	473	Jun 7, 2011 by hotrod
	Just curious/confused (Preview) Another post here really got me thinking. For those of you that have attended alanon for a long time and have seen people move through the program, I am wondering if people usually stay with their partners who are active alcoholics or wind up leaving? I can't help but think the inevitable result of fo...	pinkchip	19	592	Jun 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	I don't know why it took me so long... (Preview) I don't know why it took me so long to realize that the tolerance that I offered my exaH over the years, (the OVER tolerance), was all about ME, not HIM. At one time I thought I was loving him, offering him the support and understanding he needed and deserved. I thought I was not turning my back on him. I w...	Rora	6	375	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	Delusions from Withdrawals (Preview) I was wondering if anyone has had experiences with an alcoholic that had delusions. I have been searching on the Internet for information regarding delusions. Like everything else, I suspect the delusions can become more frequent and their nature more bizarre with time. I'm very concerned about...	GailMichelle	15	754	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	The cause of drinking (Preview) Any alcoholics here can tell me why they started drinking in the first place? Or can any families of the alcoholic tell me why the A in their life started drinking? I joined here yesterday but if you didn't catch any of my few posts, my fiance of 5 years died a little over a month ago from this terrible, evil...	Della	11	518	Jun 7, 2011 by Karilynn
	And so it progresses....... (Preview) Phone rang Sat night.....recognised the code as the town my son is in, but didnt recognise the number......let the answering service take it. Message from the police, (Ason) is in custody, court today (Monday). So........a: I know hes alive & b: he was safe in a police cell all weekend. Dont know...	Ness	8	445	Jun 7, 2011 by hotrod
	We've just scraped through, and now start the sobriety journey with Antabuse... (Preview) Hi, I am new to Al-Anon. Just learning and relieved for the help available. Im 40yrs of age, and we just had our 20yr wedding anniversary. We've two sons, 11 and 3yrs. The last 9months have been a nightmare. My husband started drinking to avoid his unbearable feelings, and apparently my anger toward hi...	Brooke	6	355	Jun 7, 2011 by Brooke
	question (Preview) Hi everyone:) My husband has been sober almost 4 months, went the detox then rehab, then back to detox and rehab, and now he lives in a sober living home, got a job, supports himself and does all he can to help me out (coming over here and cutting the grass, giving me money every payday, just helping out)....	danielle0516	6	487	Jun 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	Thanks for the support and understanding (Preview) I just wanted to thank all of you who shared your experience and kind words with me. It's been 24 hours since I've heard from him =*( I've tried to call and text him, but he is blatantly ignoring me. At a meeting last night, someone told me that he is avoiding me because I am his reality. When he's out having a...	Corgi2	7	308	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	It's sad and out of my hands (Preview) My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...	parfait624	4	523	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	very nervous, not sure how all of this works (Preview) This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...	nsnyder304	6	445	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	What is ESH? (Preview) I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?	atheos	3	303	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Now what!?!?!???? (Preview) I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...	WAJess	2	336	Jun 6, 2011 by WAJess
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.	shimo	1	271	Jun 6, 2011 by Overcome
	breaking it off completely from a (Preview) im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...	chinup	9	544	Jun 6, 2011 by chinup
	Jealousy a Common Feeling? (Preview) So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...	oldergal	8	1873	Jun 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Is there a difference (Preview) My question is this: is there a difference Between someone who drinks a lot and an alcoholic? I have a friend who says she was an alcoholic about 15 years ago. I was surprised because I've never really seen her drink. Even at parties where it was plentiful. I've seen have a glass of wine with dinner kind...	devlynn	7	494	Jun 6, 2011 by kitty
	When do alcoholics look for help? (Preview) I am curious to know what triggers an alcoholic to look for help meaning e Going to AA for example. I am not judging when I say the following: a relative went into DT (delirium tremens) and had a DUI and denies she has a problem, a friend of mines dad is dying of liver failure due to alcohol and still denies. S...	Crazy Frog	10	781	Jun 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Home Group ?? (Preview) Hi! I have a sponsor, I've worked the 12 steps (and continue to work it every day!!), and I live the solution in my life everyday. It's amazing how there is never a shortage of opportunities to use my nifty new al-anon tools. Life is funny that way, isn't it? Anyway, I have been to a few al-anon meetings (me...	Aimee	3	504	Jun 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	Update (Preview) Hi - sorry, I haven't been here for a little while. Things have been very difficult. AH, having been told after his last hospital admission that he must give up drinking, eat normally and take his prescribed medication, has done none of these things. His physical condition has been deteriorating bef...	Tattyhead	8	480	Jun 5, 2011 by danielle0516
	Nearly impossible to concentrate on me right now! (Preview) I really don't like to throw all my personal stuff out there....but I really need to vent, I'm just beside myself, it's one thing after another and I never have the chance to work on my healing because I have so much on my plate!! In a nut shell, I'm trying to do everything I can to move forward emotionally...	sdisnie	7	468	Jun 5, 2011 by sdisnie
	How do you NOT control when you have a legal obligation to control (Preview) Confusing subject line huh? LOL Here is my situation, (Im just going to put it out there like it so my brain wont hurt so much while i type this lol.) My ABF is disabled and receives SSDI. His doctors, the State and who ever else know he is an A, recovering addict and has been homeless on more then one occasi...	devlynn	7	510	Jun 5, 2011 by nezyb
	Oties Answers: Part Two: Step One and Boundaries (Preview) Boundaries to me are what the entire Program hinge on, learning where I end and another person begins, I spent nearly my entire life wondering why my "boundaries" worked with some people but not others, because I thought enforcing a boundary meant informing another person how they had ha...	linbaba	6	532	Jun 5, 2011 by devlynn
	Death by alcoholism (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and this site was the first thing that came up when I typed in Al anon message board into google. My partner died recently from alcoholism. To be honest, since his death. I feel a bit at peace as before I was always worried each day whether he's be alive or not, what danger he'd put himself th...	Della	6	4176	Jun 5, 2011 by hotrod
	Oties Answer: 12 Stepping (Preview) Otie asked me to post on a few subjects, both in a thread, and in a PM, and they are so diverse I'd thought I'd split them up 12 stepping alcoholics/ ruining their drinking/ parents with alcoholic children First of all, I am a firm believer in a few things: The Three "C's" I can't control them I c...	linbaba	2	462	Jun 5, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Nothing personal to the nice horse but let me off (Preview) I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...	Jennifer	3	374	Jun 5, 2011 by Otie
	to sdisne or anyone (Preview) I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...	jamfu	7	532	Jun 4, 2011 by sdisnie
	thank you (Preview) Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...	jamfu	2	327	Jun 4, 2011 by pineapple
	list of "boundaries" or "expectations" (Preview) This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...	dotmeg	10	5554	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Step Question (Preview) Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...	devlynn	5	482	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Narcissistic anyone? (Preview) I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...	flopadopilus	6	2041	Jun 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Black Out (Preview) Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....	oldergal	7	534	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	pinkchip ty for yur post (Preview) just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...	chinup	0	237	Jun 4, 2011 by chinup
	Twists and Turns - Making me feel like i can't go on. (Preview) Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...	Hayes	12	391	Jun 4, 2011 by Hayes
	I need to talk to someone (Preview) Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...	jamfu	5	1015	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	Life after Rehab (newbie) (Preview) Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...	biglee	8	547	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Is it really a sign? (Preview) I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...	devlynn	8	484	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	confused (Preview) my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...	chinup	5	536	Jun 3, 2011 by sdisnie
	Something that is bothering me... (Preview) Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...	youfoundme	11	497	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	I just realized (Preview) I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb	Debilyn	7	356	Jun 3, 2011 by GailMichelle
	"Mourning" (and my introduction) (Preview) Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...	Party of Five	6	381	Jun 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Calling on linbaba/ "The Devil in a Sunday Dress" (Preview) Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...	Otie	3	842	Jun 3, 2011 by linbaba
	For those of us who are fixers (Preview) http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/	sdisnie	3	399	Jun 3, 2011 by youfoundme
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