I am not sure if I am doing this right, but I am reading from One Day at a time and this Today's Reminder really sticks out for me:

"I will clear out of my life and mind all the tools of destruction I have been using.  I know they can do nothing to improve my situation.  I will make myself learn to use a new set of tools:  Tolerance, kindness, patience, courtesy, love and humour--and a firm determination to do what is necessary to improve my life." 

I was using weapons of mass destruction before I came to alanon, inorder to try to get my alcoholic to stop using.  I cried, used damaging words and tones, accused, nagged and was sometimes even hysterical.  It didn't work, nothing worked.  I even tried to kindly tell him to go to meetings and get sober, that didn't work either.  The only thing that is working is my program, going to meetings, calling fellow alanon-ers and listening real good at the meeting.  THis board helps so much as well!  When I can use the new tools I am being shown, I feel so much more peace in my life.  In all my affairs, I am learning to use these tools.  I cannot control anyone but me.  My attitude can affect everyone around me.  All the new tools we get, the slogans, they are my ticket to serenity. 

I love what we say at the end of the meeting after the serenity prayer "Keep coming, it works when you work it and you're worth it!" 

Thank you...