Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jerald · jerald

I am new here, so please bear with my long post. First let me say that I am a recovering alcoholic of 25 years and have been sober now for 6. My Catholic faith is the key to my continued sobriety and it is only by the grace of God that keeps me sober, no matter how tempted I get to take a drink. I attend no AA meetin...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I've been away from here too long and it's wonderful to read all of your posts. Still struggling, trying to constantly remind myself to butt out of my AH's recovery (or lack thereof, as the case may be). Still feeling lonely and isolated, tried reaching out to friends but everyone is busy. I am still lac...

Whisperine · Whisperine

Here's my current and most pressing life dilemma--my dad. He's a "dry drunk," I believe is the term. He's been "in recovery" for more than a year. He goes to countless meetings. But he has a mindset that this is all mean to hasten his recovery and make him better faster. I have only...

dotmeg · dotmeg

My husband and I are legally separated (have been for 3 years). This week his mother found out that she has cancer. He is in jail and will be until about the end of July or beginning of August. There is a possibility she could die before he gets out of jail. He asked his sister to call his lawyer and s...

mcbgrad · mcbgrad

How do you deal with the constant self serving attitude of the Alcoholic? She's now in AA but I think it's worse than ever. It's all about her needs first, totally ignoreing me. I don't know what to do anymore. She's been in AA for 3 months, drinking stopped, GREAT! but selfhishness has not and perha...

Katy · Katy

I thought my perception of what I thought of people and what they thought of me was correct, I hadn't learnt that feelings arn't facts, and that when I could learn to percieve things in an healthy way, I could see things with new eyes. As I am working with this new boundary with our son, my perception of wh...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm struggling with this particular issue at the moment. I have been working very hard at my control issues, need to be right, having the last word and so on. Classic co-dependent issues in a relationship with an addict. How is control different than a boundary? I hear a lot about boundaries being...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been in the process of trying to buy a house for the last month and a half or so. It has not been fun. Although I had fun finding the house I wanted to buy, and the offer and acceptance part went fine, we have had a lot of trouble getting final approval for our loan. It's brought up many issues for me, an...

Lyne · Lyne

So I did have a wonderful time with my family last night until it was time to drive home. My spouse not only didn't feel well, had a headache, and her eyes hurt, but she drank some amount of alcohol and perhaps had a xanax earlier in the day. I did stay calm but decided she was NOT driving us home, about a 40 m...

Lyne · Lyne

I am amazed that I can cope well for long periods of time with my A, and then all my skills and strengths just fall away. I'm in the unable to cope mode for the last two weeks. It was two weekends ago where she lied to me again, and last weekend she drank again. I'm the one who is supposed to change because...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

Two angels are walking all day and most of the night in beggar's clothes. They come upon a magnificent house. The house was in a very rich area. They saw the couple of the house just sitting down to a huge 3 course meal. They go up and knock on the door and are greeted by a servant. The servant brings them in t...

Regi76 · Regi76

I am the wife to a functioning alcoholic, the sister to a drug and alcoholic brother and the daughter of an alcoholic cop. When I met my husband he didn't drink much, well not in front if me maybe a glass or two of wine but unfortunately for me I didn't realize someone Who drank wine could also be an alcoholi...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I can't get to a meeting until tomorrow night. Haven't been due to other things going on for a week and a half...I feel so sick in the head right now though and I need some support. I have that therpay appointment coming up, but really I can't afford to go. Its a $30 co-pay that I don't have. My bf has been...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

hello everyone! thanks for all your comments on my last post. i would like to share a little something about "why do i keep getting sucked backed in and listen to my ah, like hes making good sense while hes taking pills and drinking. we had our 1st court date since i have filed for divorce and our nex...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

My recovering AH and I seem to be having more and more problems. He's been sober for a year and we have been through ALOT during that year. We have many financial stressors and we are currently living in an extended stay hotel (it is VERY nice and in a safe neighborhood). He is on the road a lot (truck driver...

Jadie · Jadie

This is what my A said to me todaySO I too have choicesIt's been a tough few weeks, the binge has been horrific....hospital, psych ward, policeI relinquished control a while ago but every so often, you know, my fingers itch to pick it all up again, I can take it all back, I can cope, blah blah blah goes my i...

Regi76 · Regi76

Hello friends, I need some advice. I just spoke to my AH on the phone and after telling him I was upset and will be spending the weekend 45 mins away at my parents with our 3 yr. old daughter because I needed time away from his drinking he says he wants to change. he said he knows he drinks too much and doenst...

Pushka · Pushka

This is not from al-anon approved material however I love it. The sayings are al-anonish take what you like I have enjoyed this list.Unless we change how we are, we will always have what we've got.We can have more than we've got because we can become more than we are.Good people are found not changed.A...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, Last night I had a house fire. It was caused by the incompetence of a job performed by one of ex- A's friends. We are lucky to be alive. Ex-A took off during all the drama but unfortunately is back today. I can honestly say I am sick to death of him. His level of BS is life threatening at the moment. I c...

Jadie · Jadie

Hi everyone, I'm Jadie from the UKI've been in Al-Anon a couple of years but have moved to a rural area where there are no meetings.I try to work the programme in my life, to the best of my ability, day at a time.My A is advanced in their disease, does not live with me (a boundary I need for my serenity).I don'...

Rora · Rora

My exaH had a very big surgery yesterday, one that has very big risks attached to it, for circulation. As some background he's in a very dark, angry, sad, hurting, tormented, fearful place and that is coming out in almost every decision he is making, in his words, thoughts and actions. He is livid wit...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife's family knows about her disease and her depression and the struggles that have come as a result. My side of the family does not. We're going to be spending a lot of time with them this weekend--in fact, today my wife was with her sister in-law for much of the day. I'm struggling with the idea of the...

mslouise · mslouise

So for the last couple of days I have been practicing my Let Go and Let God. It seems to be going ok. I have severed all ties with my exA, even had my boss change my work number so he could no longer call there (he would leave nasty messages at work) It's been almost a year I believe that I have heard anything f...

MDK · MDK

I was the program chairman at my f2f meeting this past Tuesday night. I volunteered! I had it on Taking care of ourselves first!!!! It was such an awesome program so many positive vibes coming at every direction. I was really proud of the feedback I was able to give when someone shared!!!!! These past fe...

Whisperine · Whisperine

I'll make this brief--Hi, my name (here) is Whisperine. I'm a college grad who's moved out of her family home, but not out of her family dysfunction. My parents split unexpectedly after 27 years of marriage last year. At first it was a "trial seperation," then it became permanent, and now I...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

http://www.neillneill.com/married-to-a-functioning-alcoholic-help/comment-page-1#comment-121678

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I find that my dh can be quite passive aggressive and I swear he knows exactly which buttons to push on which days just to drive me crazy. I had a friend suggest to me that it's his ADHD that makes him less helpful and less inclined to pitch in around the house yet I feel that it's passive aggressive and that...

hopeful411 · hopeful411

This has been a very emotional last few months. My abfand I are no longer together...he broke it off with me. After 3 months of attempting this roller coaster ride again. Which i find almost humerous b/c I should have been the one to stand up to him. But I'm just learning these tools to learn to put mys...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I know there are A LOT of al-anon/ AA books out there and available for use. I want to know some of the ones that have inspired people. I want to know what ones are great for beginners. I don't know where a "list" is of approved literature, so websites can help. I want to try and find gooe material...

Kate1979 · Kate1979

Hello all, I am new to this and have never posted in a forum before, so here it goes... I have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter and another one on the way this fall. My husband can be an amazing person. He can be kind, thoughtful, and can make me feel on top of the world. He...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just a personal service to you family members with cell phones. At the end of June if you have not registered your cell phone with 888 382 1222 (you gotta call that number with the cell phone you are registering) the telemarketers will descend on it with drool at the corner of their lips. If you like ab...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello Family: Updates on my husband. For the past few weeks he has been on this drinking binge. It is going on 7 days a week. The only day I saw him sober (for a moment) was on Father's Day. During the day, he calls me just to check on me. By the time he gets home, he is totally wasted. The other day he called and w...

quietgal · quietgal

This is my first post. I've been worried for a while now about my husband's drinking. He has a family history of alcoholism, and has himself been drinking more and more. He averages 2 martinis and a large bottle of wine per night. Pretty much every night. He usually is slurring by bedtime (which co...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm hoping that someone will share what they have learned about trust in a long term relationship with their ASpouse, who has either recovered or not recovered. Believe me I get the part about lying is part of the disease. Is it possible to repair damage with your sig other on the trust level? Even i...

Jennifer · Jennifer

For awhile I was only hoping to reach a place of serenity and I have, not perfect of course but well enough to make me happy, but now it is time to take a few more leaps of faith and broaden my scope of where I can go from here. These next right steps are going to involve decisions and interactions that scare m...

atheos · atheos

Today at a meeting, I shared about my difficulties with taking step two as an atheist, and how I was resolving that issue by using Buffy the Vampire Slayer as my higher power. And people laughed. I was really hurt by that. This had been a very real, personal struggle for me, and I was completely serious ab...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Having an awful time....I officially broke up with my ABF because he is out and about every night with a bunch of girls. He says he has never cheated on me, but Im just tired of watching his life from the sidelines. I actually went out and met a really nice guy...obviously I am not looking for anything othe...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Love-Unconditionally-Martha-Becks-Advice/print/1

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I wanted to write something that was more positive than negative, as alot of my posts have been. So, I figured I'd share my day yesterday. I had planned to take the day and enjoy it. To do whatever I wanted to do to be happy. I got a phone call from my husband telling me he would be in town and at his parents, who...

MDK · MDK

affairs.....work.......home.........work............family....

Jeff · Jeff

My wife tried to kill herself last monday and left my kids unattended in a house. She got out of treatment 10 days ago. She has been acting unstable and wanted the kids for four days. I tried to set up supervised visits and her family refused. They said she had the right to have the kids and this would set bac...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am trying to change my outlook on life. I am so tired of living like I don't deserve to be happy at times. I am so sick & tired period of the way I have changed since I returned from my trip! Luckily I can actually see where I went wrong without beating myself up too much! I just want to forget the past &...

Mama2418 · Mama2418

I have a AH son who is 27 for 12 years now I have bailed him out. Picked him up in the middle of the night. Sat in ICU after he overdosed on pills a attempted suicide. I do not know what to do anymore to help him. When he is sober he is a good person, a hard worker. Well his girlfriend of 2 years left him and he is on a...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Through this journey, I am learning so much about myself and my HP. Last week was extremely challenging: I found out my AH has an arrest warrant out on him for writing bad checks, he's also has been calling my adult daughters and telling them that I abandoned him in his time of need (he fails to mention tha...

Pushka · Pushka

I have an extremely warped sense of humor, it's years of growing up in dysfunction that I choose to find the absuridty in situations. It's easier for me to find the way out and ease the burden of the pain as well. Since starting alanon I laugh so much more than I used to, the genuine laugh not the bitter on...

Faith56 · Faith56

I'm brand new to this, so I hope I make sense. About 11 years ago my husband came to realize he could not control his alcohol intake and made the choice to check in for help. He attended an in-hospital rehab and then went to meetings for about a year after. He stayed sober for 8 wonderful years. Then he d...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

Somebody, anybody help with these crazy back and forth emotions and how do you tell if your ah is manipulating saying all these promises and how much he loves me, but yet is still drinking everyday and by the way i have filed for divorce, but he says as soon as i drop it he will stop drinking immediately, wh...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am really thanking my HP today for helping me find Al Anon and MIP. Things got started Friday evening. I was home from work and had gone to the grocery store. My AH was on his way home, and he asked me on the phone if I had bought beer at the grocery store. The conversation evolved into a discussion abou...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm curious to hear others thoughts on prayer and how you incorporate it into your recovery. I'm feeling very connected to my higher power and have for a while now. However, the concept of prayer is tripping me up now and again. I learned long ago not to pray for things that you want--for example, don't p...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was doing really well with getting to meetings...but didn't get to a meeting at all this week. Then some things I have been dealing with in my life that have nothing to do with alcohol or my qualifier have been getting worse. I decided that I needed to find a therapist that can help me deal with my chi...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

About a year or so ago, my wife and I had tickets to go to a concert at Radio City Music Hall in NY. Her all-time favorite artist was performing there and I bought her the tickets as an anniversary gift. She was so excited and even though I don't care for this artist much, I was excited as well. Anyway, the nig...

mslouise · mslouise

I get so mad sometimes, when I think of this disease.....when does it or things become just plain unacceptable, even if they have a disease??? Unacceptable for them to keep drinking....unaccetable for them to yell and belittle, not work, not care, not take care of their kids, not return the love we g...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So.. since my AH left 2 weeks ago I have not heard from him. His dad came by to pick up some of his things. (makes you wonder how old he is huh he's 25) I explained to his dad the incident that had happened which led to him having to leave. Drunk shoved my mom. etc. I told his dad that if he doesn't let his son face...

Pushka · Pushka

Yes it is irrational anger because it's totally irrational to be angry at something that is a thing rather than a person. Even that can be irrational, at least I can pin point why I am angry. I am totally struggling with my anger at a truck .. lol. Yes I said it, yes I am angry at the truck. I know logicall...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi I'm Lyne. Not new to recovery, have just been absent for awhile. I'm gay and have been with my partner for almost 20 years. We got legally married a few years ago. She is addicted to alcohol, work, food, gambling, and lying. I'm able to cope really well some of the time. Since last Sunday when I ha...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Monday morning meeting for tomorrow as I have another medical test at the hospital and will not be able to arrive back home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair for me. Thanks

Bradly · Bradly

http://www.npr.org/2011/06/23/137348338/compass-of-pleasure-why-some-things-feel-so-good?sc=fb&cc=fp

Freya · Freya

I have been working hard on my recovery, going to meetings each week and working the steps with my sponsor. My partner has been acting resentfully towards me for a while now. He blames me for his moods and the things he feels resentful about. I have been working hard not to be critical and controlling a...

countrygirl14437 · countrygirl14437

I have previosly had an addiction to alcholhol, i have been sober for almost 4 years, and recently one of my sons friends had been coming over and asked me to be friend his mother. Well with doing this we found ourselves together everyday all day. I watched her for 2 months drinking till drunk everyday...

hopeful411 · hopeful411

Im here to vent, to seek comfort, for someone just to tell me that it does get better! I have just started seeking out al-anon which i've learned of through my counselor. My abf's birthday was yester day we had good plans. It ended sadly! He came over and was fine then went into a rage taking it out on our 3 ye...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	When to Stop Talking (Preview) I am new here, so please bear with my long post. First let me say that I am a recovering alcoholic of 25 years and have been sober now for 6. My Catholic faith is the key to my continued sobriety and it is only by the grace of God that keeps me sober, no matter how tempted I get to take a drink. I attend no AA meetin...	jerald	5	629	Jul 3, 2011 by bud
	Checking in (Preview) I've been away from here too long and it's wonderful to read all of your posts. Still struggling, trying to constantly remind myself to butt out of my AH's recovery (or lack thereof, as the case may be). Still feeling lonely and isolated, tried reaching out to friends but everyone is busy. I am still lac...	Mlkiss75	6	538	Jul 3, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Not Sure How to Handle Things Right Now family matters newcomer (Preview) Here's my current and most pressing life dilemma--my dad. He's a "dry drunk," I believe is the term. He's been "in recovery" for more than a year. He goes to countless meetings. But he has a mindset that this is all mean to hasten his recovery and make him better faster. I have only...	Whisperine	5	3810	Jul 3, 2011 by Whisperine
	My husband (separated)'s mother just found out she has cancer/he is in jail (Preview) My husband and I are legally separated (have been for 3 years). This week his mother found out that she has cancer. He is in jail and will be until about the end of July or beginning of August. There is a possibility she could die before he gets out of jail. He asked his sister to call his lawyer and s...	dotmeg	7	628	Jul 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Selfhishness (Preview) How do you deal with the constant self serving attitude of the Alcoholic? She's now in AA but I think it's worse than ever. It's all about her needs first, totally ignoreing me. I don't know what to do anymore. She's been in AA for 3 months, drinking stopped, GREAT! but selfhishness has not and perha...	mcbgrad	9	797	Jul 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Perception! (Preview) I thought my perception of what I thought of people and what they thought of me was correct, I hadn't learnt that feelings arn't facts, and that when I could learn to percieve things in an healthy way, I could see things with new eyes. As I am working with this new boundary with our son, my perception of wh...	Katy	5	757	Jul 3, 2011 by tommyecat
	Control vs a Boundary (Preview) I'm struggling with this particular issue at the moment. I have been working very hard at my control issues, need to be right, having the last word and so on. Classic co-dependent issues in a relationship with an addict. How is control different than a boundary? I hear a lot about boundaries being...	Pushka	11	1370	Jul 2, 2011 by Pushka
	Not handling uncertainty very well (Preview) I've been in the process of trying to buy a house for the last month and a half or so. It has not been fun. Although I had fun finding the house I wanted to buy, and the offer and acceptance part went fine, we have had a lot of trouble getting final approval for our loan. It's brought up many issues for me, an...	White Rabbit	6	811	Jul 2, 2011 by Pushka
	Sat. night mess (Preview) So I did have a wonderful time with my family last night until it was time to drive home. My spouse not only didn't feel well, had a headache, and her eyes hurt, but she drank some amount of alcohol and perhaps had a xanax earlier in the day. I did stay calm but decided she was NOT driving us home, about a 40 m...	Lyne	5	474	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	coping vs no coping (Preview) I am amazed that I can cope well for long periods of time with my A, and then all my skills and strengths just fall away. I'm in the unable to cope mode for the last two weeks. It was two weekends ago where she lied to me again, and last weekend she drank again. I'm the one who is supposed to change because...	Lyne	7	803	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	A wonderful story I heard (Preview) Two angels are walking all day and most of the night in beggar's clothes. They come upon a magnificent house. The house was in a very rich area. They saw the couple of the house just sitting down to a huge 3 course meal. They go up and knock on the door and are greeted by a servant. The servant brings them in t...	Kristi136188	7	561	Jul 2, 2011 by tommyecat
	Functioning alcohilic (Preview) I am the wife to a functioning alcoholic, the sister to a drug and alcoholic brother and the daughter of an alcoholic cop. When I met my husband he didn't drink much, well not in front if me maybe a glass or two of wine but unfortunately for me I didn't realize someone Who drank wine could also be an alcoholi...	Regi76	23	958	Jul 1, 2011 by Regi76
	I need some support today... (Preview) I can't get to a meeting until tomorrow night. Haven't been due to other things going on for a week and a half...I feel so sick in the head right now though and I need some support. I have that therpay appointment coming up, but really I can't afford to go. Its a $30 co-pay that I don't have. My bf has been...	youfoundme	20	639	Jul 1, 2011 by xeno59
	why do i keep getting sucked back in (Preview) hello everyone! thanks for all your comments on my last post. i would like to share a little something about "why do i keep getting sucked backed in and listen to my ah, like hes making good sense while hes taking pills and drinking. we had our 1st court date since i have filed for divorce and our nex...	sameoldstuff	9	650	Jul 1, 2011 by xeno59
	Marital Stress (Preview) My recovering AH and I seem to be having more and more problems. He's been sober for a year and we have been through ALOT during that year. We have many financial stressors and we are currently living in an extended stay hotel (it is VERY nice and in a safe neighborhood). He is on the road a lot (truck driver...	Kristi136188	4	560	Jul 1, 2011 by Aloha
	It's my choice, I want to drink (Preview) This is what my A said to me todaySO I too have choicesIt's been a tough few weeks, the binge has been horrific....hospital, psych ward, policeI relinquished control a while ago but every so often, you know, my fingers itch to pick it all up again, I can take it all back, I can cope, blah blah blah goes my i...	Jadie	8	690	Jul 1, 2011 by Pushka
	AH wants to stop drinking, asking me for help (Preview) Hello friends, I need some advice. I just spoke to my AH on the phone and after telling him I was upset and will be spending the weekend 45 mins away at my parents with our 3 yr. old daughter because I needed time away from his drinking he says he wants to change. he said he knows he drinks too much and doenst...	Regi76	15	965	Jul 1, 2011 by Regi76
	Misc Inspirational Quotes (Preview) This is not from al-anon approved material however I love it. The sayings are al-anonish take what you like I have enjoyed this list.Unless we change how we are, we will always have what we've got.We can have more than we've got because we can become more than we are.Good people are found not changed.A...	Pushka	4	3139	Jul 1, 2011 by danielle0516
	Being put a risk (Preview) Dear all, Last night I had a house fire. It was caused by the incompetence of a job performed by one of ex- A's friends. We are lucky to be alive. Ex-A took off during all the drama but unfortunately is back today. I can honestly say I am sick to death of him. His level of BS is life threatening at the moment. I c...	maire rua	8	468	Jul 1, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Hello (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm Jadie from the UKI've been in Al-Anon a couple of years but have moved to a rural area where there are no meetings.I try to work the programme in my life, to the best of my ability, day at a time.My A is advanced in their disease, does not live with me (a boundary I need for my serenity).I don'...	Jadie	10	486	Jul 1, 2011 by Jadie
	I had to bring it to the board... (Preview) My exaH had a very big surgery yesterday, one that has very big risks attached to it, for circulation. As some background he's in a very dark, angry, sad, hurting, tormented, fearful place and that is coming out in almost every decision he is making, in his words, thoughts and actions. He is livid wit...	Rora	8	732	Jul 1, 2011 by Rora
	Family (Preview) My wife's family knows about her disease and her depression and the struggles that have come as a result. My side of the family does not. We're going to be spending a lot of time with them this weekend--in fact, today my wife was with her sister in-law for much of the day. I'm struggling with the idea of the...	usedtobeanyer	17	484	Jul 1, 2011 by Jadie
	The last trigger.... (Preview) So for the last couple of days I have been practicing my Let Go and Let God. It seems to be going ok. I have severed all ties with my exA, even had my boss change my work number so he could no longer call there (he would leave nasty messages at work) It's been almost a year I believe that I have heard anything f...	mslouise	7	670	Jul 1, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Taking care of ourselfs first! (Preview) I was the program chairman at my f2f meeting this past Tuesday night. I volunteered! I had it on Taking care of ourselves first!!!! It was such an awesome program so many positive vibes coming at every direction. I was really proud of the feedback I was able to give when someone shared!!!!! These past fe...	MDK	5	469	Jun 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	First Al-Anon Meeting Tonight...Any Advice? newcomer al-anon (Preview) I'll make this brief--Hi, my name (here) is Whisperine. I'm a college grad who's moved out of her family home, but not out of her family dysfunction. My parents split unexpectedly after 27 years of marriage last year. At first it was a "trial seperation," then it became permanent, and now I...	Whisperine	7	7896	Jun 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just want to share this website (Preview) http://www.neillneill.com/married-to-a-functioning-alcoholic-help/comment-page-1#comment-121678	hawaiilover	6	440	Jun 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	Passive aggressive behavior or ADD? (Preview) I find that my dh can be quite passive aggressive and I swear he knows exactly which buttons to push on which days just to drive me crazy. I had a friend suggest to me that it's his ADHD that makes him less helpful and less inclined to pitch in around the house yet I feel that it's passive aggressive and that...	ilovedogs	8	5300	Jun 30, 2011 by clep
	HELP! (Preview) This has been a very emotional last few months. My abfand I are no longer together...he broke it off with me. After 3 months of attempting this roller coaster ride again. Which i find almost humerous b/c I should have been the one to stand up to him. But I'm just learning these tools to learn to put mys...	hopeful411	4	448	Jun 30, 2011 by Betterfuture
	Literature (Preview) I know there are A LOT of al-anon/ AA books out there and available for use. I want to know some of the ones that have inspired people. I want to know what ones are great for beginners. I don't know where a "list" is of approved literature, so websites can help. I want to try and find gooe material...	Kristi136188	9	755	Jun 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	What should I do? (Preview) Hello all, I am new to this and have never posted in a forum before, so here it goes... I have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter and another one on the way this fall. My husband can be an amazing person. He can be kind, thoughtful, and can make me feel on top of the world. He...	Kate1979	8	641	Jun 30, 2011 by Betterfuture
	telemarketing alert (Preview) Just a personal service to you family members with cell phones. At the end of June if you have not registered your cell phone with 888 382 1222 (you gotta call that number with the cell phone you are registering) the telemarketers will descend on it with drool at the corner of their lips. If you like ab...	Jerry F	3	534	Jun 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	Hubby's binge (Preview) Hello Family: Updates on my husband. For the past few weeks he has been on this drinking binge. It is going on 7 days a week. The only day I saw him sober (for a moment) was on Father's Day. During the day, he calls me just to check on me. By the time he gets home, he is totally wasted. The other day he called and w...	hawaiilover	8	630	Jun 30, 2011 by pinkchip
	Confused as to whether or not hubby has a problem..... (Preview) This is my first post. I've been worried for a while now about my husband's drinking. He has a family history of alcoholism, and has himself been drinking more and more. He averages 2 martinis and a large bottle of wine per night. Pretty much every night. He usually is slurring by bedtime (which co...	quietgal	7	599	Jun 29, 2011 by pinkchip
	Trust (Preview) I'm hoping that someone will share what they have learned about trust in a long term relationship with their ASpouse, who has either recovered or not recovered. Believe me I get the part about lying is part of the disease. Is it possible to repair damage with your sig other on the trust level? Even i...	Pushka	14	1036	Jun 29, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking the next right or best step (Preview) For awhile I was only hoping to reach a place of serenity and I have, not perfect of course but well enough to make me happy, but now it is time to take a few more leaps of faith and broaden my scope of where I can go from here. These next right steps are going to involve decisions and interactions that scare m...	Jennifer	6	749	Jun 29, 2011 by Jennifer
	Misunderstandings - things aren't always what they seem! (Preview) Today at a meeting, I shared about my difficulties with taking step two as an atheist, and how I was resolving that issue by using Buffy the Vampire Slayer as my higher power. And people laughed. I was really hurt by that. This had been a very real, personal struggle for me, and I was completely serious ab...	atheos	10	568	Jun 29, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	I Ended It (Preview) Having an awful time....I officially broke up with my ABF because he is out and about every night with a bunch of girls. He says he has never cheated on me, but Im just tired of watching his life from the sidelines. I actually went out and met a really nice guy...obviously I am not looking for anything othe...	Corgi2	13	931	Jun 29, 2011 by mslouise
	Easy-to-Read Article on Detaching With Love (Preview) http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Love-Unconditionally-Martha-Becks-Advice/print/1	GailMichelle	4	583	Jun 28, 2011 by LisaA42Day
	I am happy for yesterday (Preview) I wanted to write something that was more positive than negative, as alot of my posts have been. So, I figured I'd share my day yesterday. I had planned to take the day and enjoy it. To do whatever I wanted to do to be happy. I got a phone call from my husband telling me he would be in town and at his parents, who...	Kristi136188	2	445	Jun 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	in all our affairs................ (Preview) affairs.....work.......home.........work............family....	MDK	7	819	Jun 28, 2011 by Pushka
	what do i tell the kids? (Preview) My wife tried to kill herself last monday and left my kids unattended in a house. She got out of treatment 10 days ago. She has been acting unstable and wanted the kids for four days. I tried to set up supervised visits and her family refused. They said she had the right to have the kids and this would set bac...	Jeff	15	604	Jun 28, 2011 by pinkchip
	trying to change... (Preview) I am trying to change my outlook on life. I am so tired of living like I don't deserve to be happy at times. I am so sick & tired period of the way I have changed since I returned from my trip! Luckily I can actually see where I went wrong without beating myself up too much! I just want to forget the past &...	Hoot Nanny	2	381	Jun 28, 2011 by youfoundme
	I just do not kow what to do anymore (Preview) I have a AH son who is 27 for 12 years now I have bailed him out. Picked him up in the middle of the night. Sat in ICU after he overdosed on pills a attempted suicide. I do not know what to do anymore to help him. When he is sober he is a good person, a hard worker. Well his girlfriend of 2 years left him and he is on a...	Mama2418	7	536	Jun 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Let Go and Let God (Preview) Through this journey, I am learning so much about myself and my HP. Last week was extremely challenging: I found out my AH has an arrest warrant out on him for writing bad checks, he's also has been calling my adult daughters and telling them that I abandoned him in his time of need (he fails to mention tha...	Green Eyes	6	507	Jun 28, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Crazy Train ... (Preview) I have an extremely warped sense of humor, it's years of growing up in dysfunction that I choose to find the absuridty in situations. It's easier for me to find the way out and ease the burden of the pain as well. Since starting alanon I laugh so much more than I used to, the genuine laugh not the bitter on...	Pushka	7	417	Jun 28, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Should I be concerned? (Preview) I'm brand new to this, so I hope I make sense. About 11 years ago my husband came to realize he could not control his alcohol intake and made the choice to check in for help. He attended an in-hospital rehab and then went to meetings for about a year after. He stayed sober for 8 wonderful years. Then he d...	Faith56	5	529	Jun 28, 2011 by Faith56
	back and forth iam getting dizzy! (Preview) Somebody, anybody help with these crazy back and forth emotions and how do you tell if your ah is manipulating saying all these promises and how much he loves me, but yet is still drinking everyday and by the way i have filed for divorce, but he says as soon as i drop it he will stop drinking immediately, wh...	sameoldstuff	4	630	Jun 27, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Worked the program this weekend with good outcomes (Preview) I am really thanking my HP today for helping me find Al Anon and MIP. Things got started Friday evening. I was home from work and had gone to the grocery store. My AH was on his way home, and he asked me on the phone if I had bought beer at the grocery store. The conversation evolved into a discussion abou...	stephaniej	4	397	Jun 27, 2011 by Pushka
	Prayer (Preview) I'm curious to hear others thoughts on prayer and how you incorporate it into your recovery. I'm feeling very connected to my higher power and have for a while now. However, the concept of prayer is tripping me up now and again. I learned long ago not to pray for things that you want--for example, don't p...	usedtobeanyer	9	848	Jun 27, 2011 by nice4ever
	Having a hard time (Preview) I was doing really well with getting to meetings...but didn't get to a meeting at all this week. Then some things I have been dealing with in my life that have nothing to do with alcohol or my qualifier have been getting worse. I decided that I needed to find a therapist that can help me deal with my chi...	youfoundme	7	441	Jun 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	Last night... (Preview) About a year or so ago, my wife and I had tickets to go to a concert at Radio City Music Hall in NY. Her all-time favorite artist was performing there and I bought her the tickets as an anniversary gift. She was so excited and even though I don't care for this artist much, I was excited as well. Anyway, the nig...	usedtobeanyer	5	415	Jun 27, 2011 by Jerry F
	Unacceptable when?? (Preview) I get so mad sometimes, when I think of this disease.....when does it or things become just plain unacceptable, even if they have a disease??? Unacceptable for them to keep drinking....unaccetable for them to yell and belittle, not work, not care, not take care of their kids, not return the love we g...	mslouise	23	857	Jun 26, 2011 by hopeful411
	How do I detach? (Preview) So.. since my AH left 2 weeks ago I have not heard from him. His dad came by to pick up some of his things. (makes you wonder how old he is huh he's 25) I explained to his dad the incident that had happened which led to him having to leave. Drunk shoved my mom. etc. I told his dad that if he doesn't let his son face...	Betterfuture	6	855	Jun 26, 2011 by hopeful411
	Irrational Anger (Preview) Yes it is irrational anger because it's totally irrational to be angry at something that is a thing rather than a person. Even that can be irrational, at least I can pin point why I am angry. I am totally struggling with my anger at a truck .. lol. Yes I said it, yes I am angry at the truck. I know logicall...	Pushka	3	453	Jun 26, 2011 by hotrod
	First time to message board (Preview) Hi I'm Lyne. Not new to recovery, have just been absent for awhile. I'm gay and have been with my partner for almost 20 years. We got legally married a few years ago. She is addicted to alcohol, work, food, gambling, and lying. I'm able to cope really well some of the time. Since last Sunday when I ha...	Lyne	10	780	Jun 26, 2011 by Pushka
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Monday morning meeting for tomorrow as I have another medical test at the hospital and will not be able to arrive back home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair for me. Thanks	shimo	0	246	Jun 26, 2011 by shimo
	Science of Addiction and the Disease Model (Preview) http://www.npr.org/2011/06/23/137348338/compass-of-pleasure-why-some-things-feel-so-good?sc=fb&cc=fp	Bradly	3	813	Jun 26, 2011 by kitty
	Feeling lost and alone (Preview) I have been working hard on my recovery, going to meetings each week and working the steps with my sponsor. My partner has been acting resentfully towards me for a while now. He blames me for his moods and the things he feels resentful about. I have been working hard not to be critical and controlling a...	Freya	6	482	Jun 26, 2011 by Freya
	Freindship or Fo ? (Preview) I have previosly had an addiction to alcholhol, i have been sober for almost 4 years, and recently one of my sons friends had been coming over and asked me to be friend his mother. Well with doing this we found ourselves together everyday all day. I watched her for 2 months drinking till drunk everyday...	countrygirl14437	5	554	Jun 26, 2011 by All I can be
	done!!!! (Preview) Im here to vent, to seek comfort, for someone just to tell me that it does get better! I have just started seeking out al-anon which i've learned of through my counselor. My abf's birthday was yester day we had good plans. It ended sadly! He came over and was fine then went into a rage taking it out on our 3 ye...	hopeful411	7	669	Jun 26, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.