Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Passover · Passover

My husband finally went to Turning point in June 2010. He went to an assessment meeting and was told he was not a priority. By December 2010 we still had not heard from them so he rang them (probably because I "nagged" him!!). On our home phone there was a message from turning point which said &...

Too hard · Too hard

Wonderful at last to find a online group. I wonder if there are any 'oldies' on this site. Briefly, my husband drank very heavily for the first 18/20 years of our married life....we lived in the rural area and not close to family or any support. Then suddenly I was in contact with Al-Anon. I left him...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

In response to my last post, I thought about it & came to the conclusion;after talking to an Alanon friend, that my statements were a little harsh. She lives on the same property that her mom does, and it seems to work for her. Anyhow, I have not changed my mind about having my mom stay w/ me at any time,...

John · John

I wish there was a "off" switch. Where did it go? I use to have one. But lately I can't find it. I want to turn off the feelings, the thinking and the hurt... I want and need some relief. I keep praying and begging God to do what He does and to do it soon... but its not happening, instead I am still stuck with m...

sookie · sookie

Just wanted to say that I went to a much needed meeting last night--my first since my husband left 7 days ago (yup, I am counting). The topic that someone else brought up was 'fear' when living with an active A. I was so happy it was the topic because I had been dealing with it all week! Well, really for the la...

Jill · Jill

I want not to judge others. I can trace most of my feeling bad to my initial thought "why do they want to that?". Knowing why wouldn't help me. I can see my serenity vaporize. I'm asking for the experience of those of you who can bypass that judging step. How do you do it?

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I have frequented other message boards from time to time, but I'm put off by the language used and the negativity. It's very comforting to know that I can come here to read, learn and share my ES&H without having to overlook any of the language that most people wouldn't use when speaking in public. M...

zenflower · zenflower

Hello, all. I'm new here, and have a problem. 10 years ago I married a man who has been sober for 20 years now. I obviously love him, but I recently found out he had a brief affair recently. He has ended it, and says he wants to work to make us work. He likens it to a relapse, going so far as to say he even went to me...

ladym · ladym

Hi, I have been doing allot of reading and I can't help but feel over whelmed and anxious. The past 2 weeks have been pretty quite at home after confronting my AGF when she was sober. I tried to explain how I was feeling about our relationship, and that I wanted to start going to Al Anon meeting, I thought fo...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My 15 year old and I have been pretty adversarial lately, which isn't all that unusual between a teen and his parent. It's just that he is sickly sweet to my EAW (Estranged Alcoholic Wife), he calls her 3-4 times a day, fawns all over her whenever she's around. He treats me like a leper while she can't do...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Confusing with this time gap. Its 8am Saturday morning here. Day 3 was Friday. I didn't feel so elated about it. Day 3 was a bit harder than 2. All day I was wondering if he would smoke, if he did, would he tell me, he didn't lie to me yesterday but he didn't tell me either, I asked... what now what now??? A...

Pushka · Pushka

This week it seems like lots of us are having issues with seeing how far we've really come, and I just wanted to share my AHA moment .. lol. Kats post got me thinking about my house and the fact I've been acting out in a different way. I need to see some outside changes, no blonde hair for me this time around...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Again I have a MOM issue; last night w/o saying anything to me @ a meeting my mom said that when she sells her house, that she is moving in w/ my husband! whatever! I know she meant both of us & that is out of the question! I wasn't at the meeting but I am floored & very frustrated by her saying anything...

tropics4 · tropics4

I need to break up with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend but I'm scared to. I keep hoping a "light bulb" will come on in his brain that says,"Oh I get it now. I'm being a total jerk with no compassion, empathy, or remorse when I yell at her, belittle her, curse at her, hang up on her and bla...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, I just had an extremely interesting conversation with my A. I mean it was pretty deep considering where we have been at and how little he likes to share on that level with anyone. Plus he even called me from work and I'm really in awe over that. When he calls it's never to talk deep it's always to see...

plsellars · plsellars

Today is my Daughters10th Birthday and I can not call her or see her. It seems my Wife Therapist believes it best for me to have contact with her when my wife returns for Rehab in Florida at the Florida House. This has been the toughest, most challanging, and most heart ripping experience of my entire lif...

odalis · odalis

Now that I'm not fighting and nagging it seems my husband wants to do it. For the past two months I have been doing really good. I do not fight, argue, give attitude. When my AH is talking too much and annoying me, I'll listen for a minute, nod my head and say I understand, then say I have to use the bathroom or...

gojojo · gojojo

My wife has been dry for 30 days today!! Thank God!! She is more patient with the kids, helps out around the house, even offered to make dinner for the first time in forever the other night. I have read some of the big book as well as "Everything Changes". Im doing my best at supporting her....

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Never ever thought I would be posting this type of question. I am becoming suspicious that my AH might be having an affair, she lives far away so I don't think it's physical but I think texts are involved and I found some photos today on our computer that would only be used for one thing in my opinion. I am SP...

lovee · lovee

As I've written before, I have been split with the father of my child for about a year and a half. He is now seeing someone. And all the sudden I'm feeling sad and wanting to have my family back in tact. I miss him, our friendship and his love. But I fended him off for a year and a half. I told him it wouldn't wor...

Pushka · Pushka

In a good way, I'm taking a huge leap of faith and I'm going to ask someone at the Sunday meeting to be my sponsor. I really like their shares and they weren't even on my list, then I had an epithany (thanks to a newer member God love them) and big giant DUH moment for me. There's a reason I have been waiting a...

lostnortherner · lostnortherner

This question is for folks with experience attending in-person afg meetings. A particular person that attends meetings in our town has an extreme rage problem. The person has many years in program, yet persists in trying to control meetings , pointing fingers (literally and figuratively) and oth...

atheos · atheos

I have a boss (who I shall call "G") who scares the crap out of me. He's critical of everything, never gives praise, and often doesn't acknowledge that you've said something, leaving you wondering if he's distracted and you should bring it up again later or if he already knows, has decided t...

ifa · ifa

I just got back from spending 10 days with my family of origin, because of my niece's wedding. My sister and I have had many conflicts about who should have responsibility for our disabled mother, and I was determined not to ruin this wedding by fighting. I got through everything perfectly, until the e...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I've been working really hard to focus on myself, and not my AH for the past 2 weeks. Even been staying at work or running errands at lunch so I don't have to go home and see him and risk getting into a fight. But today I feel really sad and lonely. I did my thing at home last night, which means watching my T...

Jerry F · Jerry F

What they're feeling is fear. That awareness came from a long program journey plus working as a counselor in a large Rehab Hospital and working with Alternatives to Violence men. Lying or avoiding the truth comes from the fear of being found out and/or wanting to take the pressure off by not measuri...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Today I had a quiet day at work and I felt ok. My fiance drank last night, and when I picked him up from work, I knew it. It was 11pm. I didn't react. I kept remembering what I have learned here and am learning from my sponsor... I remained calm. We came home and went to bed. He wasn't terribly drunk, no...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Just wondering ... I have a program friend that I love and respect. However, I have overheard her gossiping with other program friends from time to time. I feel uncomfortable about this. I've never participated in the gossip, and I'm not really sure what to do - if anything. My sponsor says that if...

MDK · MDK

Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it tur...

a_c_s · a_c_s

Hi, I am the husband of an alcoholic. My wife has struggled and been in and out of rehabs for the past several years. We have 4 young children at home, and her struggles have taken a toll on all of us. She just got back from a 2 month stay at her sister's out of town (her sister is in AA and it was a place where my wi...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I am having a really good opportunity to practice all my alanon lessons. Tonight, I have asked my roommate to move out. We are friends, and that has made it especially hard for me. As I have started to seriously work through my recovery from these issues of alcoholism, addiction, and dysfunction...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am a pretty healthy person, generally. Nothing is usually physiologically wrong with me, I have some mental things like PTSD (anxiety, panic attacks, depression) and I have worked on that a lot. Now I found out that what the doctor thought was carpal tunnel is actually arthritis of the wrists and...

kandikween · kandikween

Hi my name is Liz, i'm eighteen and i've been living with an alcoholic all of my life. I used to be be very angry with him, he would fly off the handle for no reason, pit my mom against me, say mean things. We would always go back and forth. As I got older, he started grounding me for innapropriate things, on ho...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I have read and read and read. In fact if my boss knew how much I have sat on here and read, I would be sacked... that would give me more time to read though hey. Healthy detachment.. some of things I have read have given me cause to question my belief of what this may look like. I was self taught to walk away...

Jerry F · Jerry F

now have another urn with my ashes in it. I asked the question what are you feeling? and should not have. Had a fleeting opportunity to remember the past and to grab a hold of detachement and didn't. I did the samething again that I did in the past and got the same outcome. Does an asprin cure insanity...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Blast from the past, I've slipped so many times in my recovery. I've read some of my past posts and I see how much of my own roller coaster of recovery has been. I need to get help. I wanna be that girl I was in some of my old posts. I'm at square 1 again.

Lyne · Lyne

Well nothing stays the same, thank God! I have come to the message board almost everday for a month or two. I have not have time to read or go to a F2F meeting. Listening to all of you and trying to respond and write my own share, has really helped. I am feeling calmer, less flat, and more positive. My As...

youfoundme · youfoundme

-- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 02:57:01 PM -- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 09:22:59 PM

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi Those who know me on these boards know I have been married to AH for 39 years (+7 months). He has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or so years and his health has been seriously declining for the last 2 years. He is now in hospital for the last time. His liver has all but ceased functioning and his lungs are...

Pushka · Pushka

for a very important date .. lol .. I feel like the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland!! Have a wonderful night all, Hugs P :)

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I feel a bit like I am writing a novel here but I just had to tell you guys about yesterday. If you have been following my posts (which I know some have) you may remember that I was feeling anxious about not checking up on him, and I sat and talked to the 'dope drawer'. In the afternoon, I was actually scare...

NovSun · NovSun

My books are on order, Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and Getting them Sober. They are due to arrive next Monday. My 2nd ever meeting is tonight and I am looking forward to it. The Afiance and I had a pretty good week. I am not sure if he actually drank on Monday or really went to dinner and the AA meet...

NovSun · NovSun

Just a ball of emotions today. I feel like I can't win. I feel stupid for looking the other way when my Afiance is right there in front of me, acting intoxicated. Like I am just oblivious to what is going on in my life, in MY house. Then, I get angry and feel like I have to prove I am right by checking phone re...

John · John

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Anne01 · Anne01

Hello, can someone tell me what those little tag and thread things are on my posts and how do I get rid of them? Thank you. Anne

Anne01 · Anne01

Has anyone ever heard an alcoholic say they don't know who they are after they stop drinking? Anne

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI all, Now that I know what ESH means, that is what I am asking for. My husband smokes pot when he goes fishing. A fact I accepted a while ago. Previously he asked me to go fishing with him and I said, not if you intend to smoke, no. If you wont' have a smoke, I will go, if you want to smoke, pick someone else...

John · John

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seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I always have something rolling around in my head and what better place to give it a voice than this message board? Isn't it weird how ideas just hit you out of the blue? Well, I didn't get to go to the morning meeting and I am sitting here irritated as hell as the double standards people have. I KNOW I have n...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

[video=]Well, I'm a little frustrated this evening. Tuesdays are my Al-Anon meeting nights. I had to stay home because I *think* I have a cold - sneezing and runny nose. Meds are doing the trick, except make me feel a bit whacked. That is I feel I'm in fog in terms of my ability to think! So.............

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Bond hearing is tomorrow. Have no clue whatsoever how the judge will rule. Saw ABF tonight. REALLY excited for him to come home....but scared to death at the same time. The last few conversations we've had, HE has brought up his recovery quite a bit. He's asked me to print off a list of the local AA me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

my kitty is doing so much better every day! she is responding to my husband--she still won't let me pet her but I am giving it some time! To all you cat lover's out there: keep loving them & giving them attention; like my hubby says they will love you back! He sure loves this cat & if anything happen...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

After the horrible weekend, wherein I fought with my AH and ended up feeling so down on myself, yesterday went really well. I went home to a happy AH, who was cooking dinner and even invited me to sit with him and watch a movie. I almost fell into the trap of thinking, he wants me to stay right here while he...

Brooke · Brooke

Hi, thankyou for being there for me, I hope that others who are seeking help find the support of Alanon too. I finally met and had coffee this week with my local Alanon lady who has supported me over the phone for a couple of months. Tomorrow I will meet another local lady who has also reached out to Al...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

When I got home from my Al Anon meeting last night, my wife was impaired. I didn't stick around for long to see just how bad it was--just went right to bed to read. This morning, there's no acknowledgement of what happened the night before from either of us. We just talk about the weather or the kids or abou...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I got to go to my home group meeting tonight. I was so glad to be there. When I got home this afternoon, something was really bothering me. I realized how controling I really am. I mean, I constantly check up on my A, and my kids, making sure they did the things I asked them to do. I really cried about it t...

kandikween · kandikween

My dad is doing better, talking more normally as far as i've heard. I won't be able to see him until saturday or sunday. My boyfriend's birthday is tomorrow he'll be 23! I feel bad because my focus has been primarily on this situation, I always like to go all out for birthdays. And then there is court on th...

rara avis · rara avis

Update: The past few days I didn't react to my RA bf acting....out? I just went about my business, went to the movies, etc...tried to have the best days possible and didn't show any aggravation. THANK YOU folks for talking about detachment and such, you've been such a help! I'm so happy that worked :) T...

Anne01 · Anne01

What does F2F mean? Anne

Anne01 · Anne01

I am totally new here. And I have a problem maybe someone can help me with. My brother is 44 years old, an alcoholic who is in rehab for the 3rd or 4th time, has 9 DUI's, also eluding police, driving without registration and license many times, I guess 9, and is due to get out of rehab. in a couple months. I lov...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New here ~ long suffering wife of an alcohol dependant husbang (Preview) My husband finally went to Turning point in June 2010. He went to an assessment meeting and was told he was not a priority. By December 2010 we still had not heard from them so he rang them (probably because I "nagged" him!!). On our home phone there was a message from turning point which said &...	Passover	8	878	Aug 14, 2011 by Pushka
	Emotionally isolated. (Preview) Wonderful at last to find a online group. I wonder if there are any 'oldies' on this site. Briefly, my husband drank very heavily for the first 18/20 years of our married life....we lived in the rural area and not close to family or any support. Then suddenly I was in contact with Al-Anon. I left him...	Too hard	14	1867	Aug 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	I overreacting a little. (Preview) In response to my last post, I thought about it & came to the conclusion;after talking to an Alanon friend, that my statements were a little harsh. She lives on the same property that her mom does, and it seems to work for her. Anyhow, I have not changed my mind about having my mom stay w/ me at any time,...	Hoot Nanny	1	423	Aug 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just feeling... thinking... Hurting.... (Preview) I wish there was a "off" switch. Where did it go? I use to have one. But lately I can't find it. I want to turn off the feelings, the thinking and the hurt... I want and need some relief. I keep praying and begging God to do what He does and to do it soon... but its not happening, instead I am still stuck with m...	John	6	667	Aug 13, 2011 by Lyne
	Fear... (Preview) Just wanted to say that I went to a much needed meeting last night--my first since my husband left 7 days ago (yup, I am counting). The topic that someone else brought up was 'fear' when living with an active A. I was so happy it was the topic because I had been dealing with it all week! Well, really for the la...	sookie	8	879	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not Judging (Preview) I want not to judge others. I can trace most of my feeling bad to my initial thought "why do they want to that?". Knowing why wouldn't help me. I can see my serenity vaporize. I'm asking for the experience of those of you who can bypass that judging step. How do you do it?	Jill	7	887	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	To MIP's Moderators nice job! (Preview) I have frequented other message boards from time to time, but I'm put off by the language used and the negativity. It's very comforting to know that I can come here to read, learn and share my ES&H without having to overlook any of the language that most people wouldn't use when speaking in public. M...	GailMichelle	6	827	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	affair (Preview) Hello, all. I'm new here, and have a problem. 10 years ago I married a man who has been sober for 20 years now. I obviously love him, but I recently found out he had a brief affair recently. He has ended it, and says he wants to work to make us work. He likens it to a relapse, going so far as to say he even went to me...	zenflower	9	785	Aug 13, 2011 by zenflower
	Anxiety has taken over " Help" (Preview) Hi, I have been doing allot of reading and I can't help but feel over whelmed and anxious. The past 2 weeks have been pretty quite at home after confronting my AGF when she was sober. I tried to explain how I was feeling about our relationship, and that I wanted to start going to Al Anon meeting, I thought fo...	ladym	14	709	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	nagging resentment (Preview) My 15 year old and I have been pretty adversarial lately, which isn't all that unusual between a teen and his parent. It's just that he is sickly sweet to my EAW (Estranged Alcoholic Wife), he calls her 3-4 times a day, fawns all over her whenever she's around. He treats me like a leper while she can't do...	DadtoCandE	6	616	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	Day 3 (my yesterday, your Friday today) (Preview) Confusing with this time gap. Its 8am Saturday morning here. Day 3 was Friday. I didn't feel so elated about it. Day 3 was a bit harder than 2. All day I was wondering if he would smoke, if he did, would he tell me, he didn't lie to me yesterday but he didn't tell me either, I asked... what now what now??? A...	Lindaoakford	9	689	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Encouragement Share :) (Preview) This week it seems like lots of us are having issues with seeing how far we've really come, and I just wanted to share my AHA moment .. lol. Kats post got me thinking about my house and the fact I've been acting out in a different way. I need to see some outside changes, no blonde hair for me this time around...	Pushka	9	771	Aug 13, 2011 by lasthope
	whatever; MOM again! (Preview) Again I have a MOM issue; last night w/o saying anything to me @ a meeting my mom said that when she sells her house, that she is moving in w/ my husband! whatever! I know she meant both of us & that is out of the question! I wasn't at the meeting but I am floored & very frustrated by her saying anything...	Hoot Nanny	5	682	Aug 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I need to break up with my RA boyfriend. (Preview) I need to break up with my recovering alcoholic boyfriend but I'm scared to. I keep hoping a "light bulb" will come on in his brain that says,"Oh I get it now. I'm being a total jerk with no compassion, empathy, or remorse when I yell at her, belittle her, curse at her, hang up on her and bla...	tropics4	10	1103	Aug 13, 2011 by maryjane
	Interesting Developments (Preview) Well, I just had an extremely interesting conversation with my A. I mean it was pretty deep considering where we have been at and how little he likes to share on that level with anyone. Plus he even called me from work and I'm really in awe over that. When he calls it's never to talk deep it's always to see...	Pushka	3	477	Aug 13, 2011 by Pushka
	WHY! (Preview) Today is my Daughters10th Birthday and I can not call her or see her. It seems my Wife Therapist believes it best for me to have contact with her when my wife returns for Rehab in Florida at the Florida House. This has been the toughest, most challanging, and most heart ripping experience of my entire lif...	plsellars	7	869	Aug 13, 2011 by plsellars
	Role reversal..hmmm (Preview) Now that I'm not fighting and nagging it seems my husband wants to do it. For the past two months I have been doing really good. I do not fight, argue, give attitude. When my AH is talking too much and annoying me, I'll listen for a minute, nod my head and say I understand, then say I have to use the bathroom or...	odalis	4	643	Aug 13, 2011 by GreenK
	So my wife is an alcoholic.... (Preview) My wife has been dry for 30 days today!! Thank God!! She is more patient with the kids, helps out around the house, even offered to make dinner for the first time in forever the other night. I have read some of the big book as well as "Everything Changes". Im doing my best at supporting her....	gojojo	9	1118	Aug 12, 2011 by maryjane
	Infidelity (Preview) Never ever thought I would be posting this type of question. I am becoming suspicious that my AH might be having an affair, she lives far away so I don't think it's physical but I think texts are involved and I found some photos today on our computer that would only be used for one thing in my opinion. I am SP...	surfgirl123	15	1405	Aug 12, 2011 by Bettina
	consumed with thoughts (Preview) As I've written before, I have been split with the father of my child for about a year and a half. He is now seeing someone. And all the sudden I'm feeling sad and wanting to have my family back in tact. I miss him, our friendship and his love. But I fended him off for a year and a half. I told him it wouldn't wor...	lovee	6	707	Aug 12, 2011 by Samsgram
	Nervous .... (Preview) In a good way, I'm taking a huge leap of faith and I'm going to ask someone at the Sunday meeting to be my sponsor. I really like their shares and they weren't even on my list, then I had an epithany (thanks to a newer member God love them) and big giant DUH moment for me. There's a reason I have been waiting a...	Pushka	6	417	Aug 12, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Need help from experienced group members re dealing with disruptive, rageful member (Preview) This question is for folks with experience attending in-person afg meetings. A particular person that attends meetings in our town has an extreme rage problem. The person has many years in program, yet persists in trying to control meetings , pointing fingers (literally and figuratively) and oth...	lostnortherner	5	1852	Aug 12, 2011 by Breakingfree
	The courage to change the things I can... (Preview) I have a boss (who I shall call "G") who scares the crap out of me. He's critical of everything, never gives praise, and often doesn't acknowledge that you've said something, leaving you wondering if he's distracted and you should bring it up again later or if he already knows, has decided t...	atheos	3	439	Aug 12, 2011 by Breakingfree
	big family event (Preview) I just got back from spending 10 days with my family of origin, because of my niece's wedding. My sister and I have had many conflicts about who should have responsibility for our disabled mother, and I was determined not to ruin this wedding by fighting. I got through everything perfectly, until the e...	ifa	11	786	Aug 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Is it normal to feel depressed when focusing on self (Preview) I've been working really hard to focus on myself, and not my AH for the past 2 weeks. Even been staying at work or running errands at lunch so I don't have to go home and see him and risk getting into a fight. But today I feel really sad and lonely. I did my thing at home last night, which means watching my T...	oldgraduate	5	393	Aug 12, 2011 by MDK
	If what they're doing is lying... (Preview) What they're feeling is fear. That awareness came from a long program journey plus working as a counselor in a large Rehab Hospital and working with Alternatives to Violence men. Lying or avoiding the truth comes from the fear of being found out and/or wanting to take the pressure off by not measuri...	Jerry F	11	883	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Today was a good day... (Preview) Today I had a quiet day at work and I felt ok. My fiance drank last night, and when I picked him up from work, I knew it. It was 11pm. I didn't react. I kept remembering what I have learned here and am learning from my sponsor... I remained calm. We came home and went to bed. He wasn't terribly drunk, no...	youfoundme	9	596	Aug 12, 2011 by MDK
	Gossip (Preview) Just wondering ... I have a program friend that I love and respect. However, I have overheard her gossiping with other program friends from time to time. I feel uncomfortable about this. I've never participated in the gossip, and I'm not really sure what to do - if anything. My sponsor says that if...	White Rabbit	8	651	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	updates (Preview) Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it tur...	MDK	5	530	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New Member Looking for Advice on a Family Situation (Preview) Hi, I am the husband of an alcoholic. My wife has struggled and been in and out of rehabs for the past several years. We have 4 young children at home, and her struggles have taken a toll on all of us. She just got back from a 2 month stay at her sister's out of town (her sister is in AA and it was a place where my wi...	a_c_s	12	687	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Asking roommate to move out (Preview) Well, I am having a really good opportunity to practice all my alanon lessons. Tonight, I have asked my roommate to move out. We are friends, and that has made it especially hard for me. As I have started to seriously work through my recovery from these issues of alcoholism, addiction, and dysfunction...	Doozy	4	829	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Health (Preview) I am a pretty healthy person, generally. Nothing is usually physiologically wrong with me, I have some mental things like PTSD (anxiety, panic attacks, depression) and I have worked on that a lot. Now I found out that what the doctor thought was carpal tunnel is actually arthritis of the wrists and...	youfoundme	13	878	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	scared (Preview) Hi my name is Liz, i'm eighteen and i've been living with an alcoholic all of my life. I used to be be very angry with him, he would fly off the handle for no reason, pit my mom against me, say mean things. We would always go back and forth. As I got older, he started grounding me for innapropriate things, on ho...	kandikween	9	2821	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	more thoughts on healthy detachment please (Preview) Hi I have read and read and read. In fact if my boss knew how much I have sat on here and read, I would be sacked... that would give me more time to read though hey. Healthy detachment.. some of things I have read have given me cause to question my belief of what this may look like. I was self taught to walk away...	Lindaoakford	22	602	Aug 12, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Exercised my will and... (Preview) now have another urn with my ashes in it. I asked the question what are you feeling? and should not have. Had a fleeting opportunity to remember the past and to grab a hold of detachement and didn't. I did the samething again that I did in the past and got the same outcome. Does an asprin cure insanity...	Jerry F	8	470	Aug 12, 2011 by Jozie
	I've slipped as many times as my A hubby.. (Preview) Blast from the past, I've slipped so many times in my recovery. I've read some of my past posts and I see how much of my own roller coaster of recovery has been. I need to get help. I wanna be that girl I was in some of my old posts. I'm at square 1 again.	Sincerely	6	383	Aug 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	things do change (Preview) Well nothing stays the same, thank God! I have come to the message board almost everday for a month or two. I have not have time to read or go to a F2F meeting. Listening to all of you and trying to respond and write my own share, has really helped. I am feeling calmer, less flat, and more positive. My As...	Lyne	5	492	Aug 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Poetry...art...an outlet (Preview) -- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 02:57:01 PM -- Edited by youfoundme on Thursday 11th of August 2011 09:22:59 PM	youfoundme	2	345	Aug 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	Please keep us in your thoughts (Preview) Hi Those who know me on these boards know I have been married to AH for 39 years (+7 months). He has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or so years and his health has been seriously declining for the last 2 years. He is now in hospital for the last time. His liver has all but ceased functioning and his lungs are...	Tattyhead	14	511	Aug 11, 2011 by Pushka
	I'm late I'm late (Preview) for a very important date .. lol .. I feel like the white rabbit from Alice and Wonderland!! Have a wonderful night all, Hugs P :)	Pushka	1	409	Aug 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Day 2 - how it finished up (all my posts are long) (Preview) Hi I feel a bit like I am writing a novel here but I just had to tell you guys about yesterday. If you have been following my posts (which I know some have) you may remember that I was feeling anxious about not checking up on him, and I sat and talked to the 'dope drawer'. In the afternoon, I was actually scare...	Lindaoakford	5	451	Aug 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Books On Order (Preview) My books are on order, Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and Getting them Sober. They are due to arrive next Monday. My 2nd ever meeting is tonight and I am looking forward to it. The Afiance and I had a pretty good week. I am not sure if he actually drank on Monday or really went to dinner and the AA meet...	NovSun	8	539	Aug 11, 2011 by NovSun
	Feeling Stupid (Preview) Just a ball of emotions today. I feel like I can't win. I feel stupid for looking the other way when my Afiance is right there in front of me, acting intoxicated. Like I am just oblivious to what is going on in my life, in MY house. Then, I get angry and feel like I have to prove I am right by checking phone re...	NovSun	8	570	Aug 11, 2011 by NovSun
	When I don't know what else to do... I wash my dogs! (Preview) [video=]	John	5	467	Aug 11, 2011 by GailMichelle
	tags (Preview) Hello, can someone tell me what those little tag and thread things are on my posts and how do I get rid of them? Thank you. Anne	Anne01	2	425	Aug 11, 2011 by Anne01
	who am I (Preview) Has anyone ever heard an alcoholic say they don't know who they are after they stop drinking? Anne	Anne01	8	443	Aug 11, 2011 by Anne01
	help for Sunday (Preview) HI all, Now that I know what ESH means, that is what I am asking for. My husband smokes pot when he goes fishing. A fact I accepted a while ago. Previously he asked me to go fishing with him and I said, not if you intend to smoke, no. If you wont' have a smoke, I will go, if you want to smoke, pick someone else...	Lindaoakford	5	546	Aug 11, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	One Day At A Time... (Preview) [video=]	John	0	328	Aug 11, 2011 by John
	it suddenly occured to me... (Preview) I always have something rolling around in my head and what better place to give it a voice than this message board? Isn't it weird how ideas just hit you out of the blue? Well, I didn't get to go to the morning meeting and I am sitting here irritated as hell as the double standards people have. I KNOW I have n...	seekingserenity	2	398	Aug 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	I Can't Go To a Meeting Tonight (Preview) [video=]Well, I'm a little frustrated this evening. Tuesdays are my Al-Anon meeting nights. I had to stay home because I think I have a cold - sneezing and runny nose. Meds are doing the trick, except make me feel a bit whacked. That is I feel I'm in fog in terms of my ability to think! So.............	GailMichelle	6	402	Aug 11, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Could use some positive vibes... (Preview) Bond hearing is tomorrow. Have no clue whatsoever how the judge will rule. Saw ABF tonight. REALLY excited for him to come home....but scared to death at the same time. The last few conversations we've had, HE has brought up his recovery quite a bit. He's asked me to print off a list of the local AA me...	ELEKTRAWMN	10	583	Aug 11, 2011 by Cloudsea
	kitty is still on the mend! (Preview) my kitty is doing so much better every day! she is responding to my husband--she still won't let me pet her but I am giving it some time! To all you cat lover's out there: keep loving them & giving them attention; like my hubby says they will love you back! He sure loves this cat & if anything happen...	Hoot Nanny	7	409	Aug 11, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Every day is new - who figured? (Preview) After the horrible weekend, wherein I fought with my AH and ended up feeling so down on myself, yesterday went really well. I went home to a happy AH, who was cooking dinner and even invited me to sit with him and watch a movie. I almost fell into the trap of thinking, he wants me to stay right here while he...	oldgraduate	7	546	Aug 11, 2011 by Cloudsea
	I'm so grateful for Alanon, went to my first meeting today, and met local lady too... (Preview) Hi, thankyou for being there for me, I hope that others who are seeking help find the support of Alanon too. I finally met and had coffee this week with my local Alanon lady who has supported me over the phone for a couple of months. Tomorrow I will meet another local lady who has also reached out to Al...	Brooke	6	359	Aug 11, 2011 by Ruby
	Saying nothing the next day just feels so wrong.... (Preview) When I got home from my Al Anon meeting last night, my wife was impaired. I didn't stick around for long to see just how bad it was--just went right to bed to read. This morning, there's no acknowledgement of what happened the night before from either of us. We just talk about the weather or the kids or abou...	usedtobeanyer	19	1025	Aug 11, 2011 by ntxalanon
	The meeting tonight (Preview) I got to go to my home group meeting tonight. I was so glad to be there. When I got home this afternoon, something was really bothering me. I realized how controling I really am. I mean, I constantly check up on my A, and my kids, making sure they did the things I asked them to do. I really cried about it t...	youfoundme	4	391	Aug 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	day 6 in the hospital...... (Preview) My dad is doing better, talking more normally as far as i've heard. I won't be able to see him until saturday or sunday. My boyfriend's birthday is tomorrow he'll be 23! I feel bad because my focus has been primarily on this situation, I always like to go all out for birthdays. And then there is court on th...	kandikween	2	420	Aug 11, 2011 by tommyecat
	I didn't react! :) But...I'm so confused?! ESH? (Preview) Update: The past few days I didn't react to my RA bf acting....out? I just went about my business, went to the movies, etc...tried to have the best days possible and didn't show any aggravation. THANK YOU folks for talking about detachment and such, you've been such a help! I'm so happy that worked :) T...	rara avis	3	429	Aug 11, 2011 by Pushka
	F2F (Preview) What does F2F mean? Anne	Anne01	3	396	Aug 11, 2011 by tommyecat
	enabler or helper (Preview) I am totally new here. And I have a problem maybe someone can help me with. My brother is 44 years old, an alcoholic who is in rehab for the 3rd or 4th time, has 9 DUI's, also eluding police, driving without registration and license many times, I guess 9, and is due to get out of rehab. in a couple months. I lov...	Anne01	11	970	Aug 11, 2011 by lasthope
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.