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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Could use some positive vibes...
Post Info TOPIC: Could use some positive vibes...
ELEKTRAWMN


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Could use some positive vibes...
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Bond hearing is tomorrow.  Have no clue whatsoever how the judge will rule.  Saw ABF tonight.   REALLY excited for him to come home....but scared to death at the same time.

The last few conversations we've had, HE has brought up his recovery quite a bit.  He's asked me to print off a list of the local AA meetings.... asked me to get all of my alcohol out of the house (I'm an occasional drinker, usually have something in the house for guests) ... and told me he understood if I don't trust him right away...  ::picking self up from floor::  LOL   Again, I know that his actions when he gets home will speak louder than the words he's saying.

I think I'm ready.  I think I'm ready to NOT ask him if he's been drinking.  Ready not to check up on him while I'm at work.  Ready to let him take care of himself.... and at the same time continue to love the man that I KNOW he is....

Strength is appreciated!!!!   

OH!   And I'm attaching a picture of the sky here tonight....  maybe it's another sign of good things to come..  smilesky].jpg



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~Kat

 Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
Lindaoakford


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I can't any words of wisdom, but I can say that what I have read so far, people here seem to be able to 'cope' when they have each other

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Linda - a work in progress
pineapple


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Elektrawmn, it all sounds very positive. Kudos to your ABF, I hope he means what he says. Just a word of caution - go by what he does, NOT what he says. But it seems that you already know actions speak louder than words. It sounds like you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Best of luck, positive vibrations coming your way!

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Pushka


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Ele,

Hugs and all I can say is time will tell and keep putting the focus on you and your recovery. :) Everything is going to workout one way or another it just always does. :) Easy on yourself during the coming days and I will be sending lots of positive vibes your direction. :)

P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Doozy


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Kat, it sounds to me like you are doing great! Definitely sending good vibes your way!


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Debilyn


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 I positively believe when he gets out, if his arms are not broken, he can look up the meetings on his own. This is already manipulation. It is not your disease, not your responsibility to do anything about it.

The only way it can work is them totally doing it all. I mean rides there and back, finding meetings ALL of it.

If he wants rehab he can figure it out. I mean alll of it.He may be totally serious, I hope he is. I agree too, watch what they do, ignore what they say. bout the same with teenagers...

Love the person, the disease is their own. If we get involved we make them weaker. We take away their power to do it on their own.

whether they use or not is moot. they are addicts. We either love them as is, live with them as is with boundaries or we leave or they do. Or we stay and fight a losing battle of trying to control that that we cannot.

I do pray he is ready. It takes lots of courage and support from AA rehab etc.

love,debilyn

 



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
nmike


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Keep letting go by letting him do his own work. You have lots to keep you busy with your own recovery. Incredible picture!

In support,
Nancy

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NovSun


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Question.... Debilyn - you mentioned that the A can and should look up meetings online, arrange rides if needed, etc. So, what exactly should Kat have said when he asked for help? My Afiance asked for the same information a few weeks ago and I did print out a list for him of local meetings. Should we have said "Sorry, you're on your own" and left it at that? Just seems so cold.

NovSun

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ELEKTRAWMN


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Thanks Nov... I'm wondering the same thing. If he's asking for help....do I deny it? I can understand if I took it upon myself to print it off and tack it up on the fridge or something... but that's not the case.

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~Kat

 Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
canadianguy


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I don't think there is any problem with printing off a list of local AA meetings, and the request to pour out the booze, etc - that doesn't cross any lines at all, as far as I am concerned....  Sometimes these requests DO cross the line, when they kind of tie them into us, as in "You tell me when/where the meetings are, YOU make arrangements for daycare, YOU drive me there, and I might go".... that kinda thing

Doesn't sound like his request is anything like that, and I think you have every right/reason to feel some hope right now....  Keep up your program while he keeps up his.... In fact, keep yours up, even if he does not!  :)

 

 

 

Tom



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
Cloudsea


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Elek - thanks for the picture of the sky.  It's gorgeous!



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