The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well last week my husband didn't show up for work on time and got suspended from work for 3 days. This is not the first time and if history repeats itself it will not be the last. Instead of worrying or getting mad I just kept my mouth shut and said I hate that for you maybe you need a little break. Well as it turned out the next day he thanked me for not berating or yelling or even worrying him to death about it all. I looked at the positive side my house got (semi-clean) and all the laundry got done, the trash got taken down, the yard got mowed, and he cleaned out the garage. I didn't ask him to do any of it. So even though I was upset I focused on me and let him focus on himself. We had been getting along great we even sparked a small connection until last night he asked for one of those (my pills-adderall) so i felt a little deflated but not as I have once felt before. I had a small expectation and so my downfall wasn't so bad. I said no to him and went on about my business and even though he seems disant again I know I did the right thing. So we are back in that roommate status. I am still in a great place and I learn to take the good times with the bad and react the same to both. It really has helped me! Marriage is afterall a partnership and even though we never invite this disease in we have to accept it with all the other stuff that comes with it. thanks for being here and reading and sharing!
I LOVE this share, as a wonderful example of somebody (you!), working your program so well....
First, the "not reacting" was wonderful, and allowed to you to have some serenity (and even some bonus good things) in what could have otherwise been a really stressful time....
Second, just saying "no" to the request for you to give him one of your pills.....
If I were a teacher, you would get an A+ for this!! :)
Well done...
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
MDK, Thanks for sharing this :) How awesome :) Great job in the "DON'T REACT" category and on the saying "NO" it is a sentence after all :) Thanks for sharing it here to show others that it does work when we work it! I am learning these same things. And that I don't have to tell everyone what to do when they are home for the day... they usually come up with things to do to help out around the house all on their own! Who knew? LOL..anyway, glad you are here, keep coming ;)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Way to work your program!!! I love that NO is a sentence!! And it's so ok to use!! :)
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
