The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After the horrible weekend, wherein I fought with my AH and ended up feeling so down on myself, yesterday went really well. I went home to a happy AH, who was cooking dinner and even invited me to sit with him and watch a movie. I almost fell into the trap of thinking, he wants me to stay right here while he cooks, can't go work out, must watch what he is watching so he won't think I don't appreciate the gesture - but I didn't. Went to do my workout, listened to music after until dinner was ready and THEN watched the movie with him, thanked him and we went to bed in peace. Now, I may hear later that I didn't appreciate the olive branch being extended enough, but for now, it was a good peaceful evening together, instead of the toal ignoring or fighting that has been going. And I am so thankful for that. So, I am going to continue my reading and learning and hope there are more days like this ahead. I must remember to thank him again though so that he knows he is appreciated.
Going straight to gratitude and being thankful for the small stuff is one of the most important parts of my recovery. It helps me realize what is right with this picture, rather than what is wrong with this picture.
I saw that you practice self care in your post about last night. That is priceless. Keep it up. It works if you work it.
Good for you :) I agree on the gratitude and focusing on the positive, it's been what has gotten me through. Self care is a must!! Even if you hear that you weren't appreciating enough, you know you don't have to buy into that program and JADE it. :)
Sending support, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Congratulations! It's great to hear someone describe how the program is working in their lives.
Alanon is teaching me to have more victories similar to what you describe. I was pretty reactive this weekend to some name calling so I know I've got work to do and I need to be extra gentle with myself in the meantime.
We get into a texting battle sometimes where I'll feel like I have to prove something to him after he calls me selfish etc. This is reminding me that I don't have to defend myself. It's all been said before! I'll just keep going my way and doing my very best to make the very best decisions I can for myself in the moment.
Thats awesome OG :) I too have to remember to thank my fiance when he makes smoothies in the morning (every morning). He is doing it for both of us to enjoy together and they do taste so good. I am reminded by my sponsor to thank him because it is something nice he does. The more we change our attitudes the more the attitudes around us change for good :) Great share, thanks for being here :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I liked your post. It reminded me of how I used to feel guilty about going off on my own to work out, especially since my AH would often use that time to drink in secret and alone. Those were bad times. But I found Al Anon soon after he found AA and now I have a much easier time doing things for myself, especially working out. The guilt feelings do try to "creep" back in but now I don't let myself give in to them.
