Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Like many of you, I grew up in an alcoholic household, with both parents being heavy daily drinkers. Amazing how I find myself reliving some of those bad memories now with my wife. I have a picture from when I graduated college, about 20 years ago. I'm standing next to my now deceased mom, who was in a whee...

jmanning · jmanning

Well its been a week since my AH went to jail. And last weekend when I posted I never thought I would make it, or thought it would get easier. But it has, when he got his furlough tuesday that helped me emotionally a lot. And during this week I did a lot of thinking and reflecting back. And I realize how I did no...

luv123 · luv123

Practicing the principles in all my affairs: I am really trying to stay in the day and let go of the unknowns until I need to know about them. There is a likely chance that we could have to move for a couple yrs. while hubby has a contract to work in DC. I am nervous about living in or so near to a large city. I am n...

glad · glad

Again I am so very thankful for my higher power mostly and for this board and for alanon. Earlier this week I spoke with my ex A boyfriend by phone about his sick father and basicly a "how are you call" in the past I couldn't even look at or speak to my ex without crying and then staying in bed all a...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It has been 3 years since we split up. Ironically 1 week away from 3 years sober for me cuz my first day sober was the day we split. So anyhow, I talked to my ex for like an hour and a half. He is the type of alcoholic that typically finds another alcoholic or addict that drinks or drugs worse than him and the...

Irene · Irene

Did I ever think that this was possible?? NO! I found it hard to really love my mother because of alcoholism, my ex was an alcoholic...and now I've let myself get involved with a man who has known me for years, who is an alcoholic, who is married and who hit me for the first time a week ago. I've never been h...

Pushka · Pushka

Which translates to I def need to get to a meeting, thank goodness there is one tonight. There's a lot going on at the moment and I have concerns over how my mother is choosing to grieve. I'm all about everyone needs to grieve in their own way, (I worked at a funeral home) there are issues though and right...

HDgem · HDgem

Hello, -I went to my first Al-anon meeting last Monday night. IT was a very overwhelming experience - - made me wonder if I had what it took to hear the stories of those who shared... I shared my story, too, and it was good to be able to talk about things. briefly, I am two-years into a second marriage, af...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys As you may remember, I just got back from holidays with my husband. For the holidays I had a 'straight' husband. All the issues that I thought would happen, didn't happen. Basically he didn't get the opportunity to smoke because none of my friends do, and my sisters birthday proved that she ha...

littlesister · littlesister

Hi, My big brother is the alcoholic. He is 32 and I am 22. He stopped drinking 3 years ago and since then we have become ever so close. He is the best big brother in the world. However, today he has slipped. He has been dating a lovely lady recently and his emotions have taken over him, so much that he has st...

atheos · atheos

I was telling her about something my dad had said to me, and she bluntly said "that's abuse". She said the same thing about a couple other childhood moments I shared with her. ...I'd heard of verbal/emotional abuse before, and had come to the conclusion that A) it's mostly something made up...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi. I have just come in from an evening out at a local restaurant with Son, Daughter & Partner to celebrate what would have been my husband, Stephen's 64th birthday (it is now 22.35 in the UK). What a waste! We should have been enjoying retirement by now and doing all sorts of things. But it was not to b...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey MIP... Missed you All... Sorry been Away for awhile but Life seems to just Keep on Keepin On even if My feet Never seem to Hit the Floor... Same stuff Differant way, but I am Getting by the Best I can and with a Pretty Awesome HP helping me get over the Hurdles... You know the More I looked at "ME&quo...

jamfu · jamfu

Why do i want do be in love? I find myself looking for it everywhere. I still very much love my ex A, but found out from some friends that she cheated. She admitted to them while drunk. I found out over labor day. Damn i wish things had been different. I keep going to meetings and things do not seem to get any be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was just thinking about the expression: NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Isn't that kind of funny. I never thought of that before. My sponsor has a lot of wisdom & experience--she has been in the Program for almost 13 years. I know what she says comes from her heart. I have nothing but respect & adm...

rosielee · rosielee

so- this is my mum- a dry drunk and completely self obsessed. so she phones me up tonight and says....(in her "Im having a funny with you " voice") and says it was her birthday and she didnt get a card and she said "its funny when people do that to yu- you dont like it" and then she...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI I am back from my 9 day trip to my family of origin in Perth. there was not hassles at all. Normal family frustrations but thats it. I was worried about my sister wanting to 'party on' and arguing with my Dad and my husband getting into the 'party scene'. None of that happened. I felt my HP wiht me in ma...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Just a random fishing photo at sunset...2 monarchs still in crysalis's and 1 monarch open and alive....

Overcome · Overcome

I'm not going to make it for Sunday evening's meeting again this week. So I would like to ask for someone to try to cover for me at the 7 p.m. Sunday night meeting of the current OP's. Since mom moved into the VA home August 15th, I thought I'd have MORE time to do things and instead I have LESS. Today we are ha...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am reading this book by David Sheff called Beautiful Boy. Its about the father's side of what went on when his son was addicted to drugs (meth, heroin, pills, what have you). He mentions alanon in it and going to meetings which is nice. I know its not conference approved, but the sentence that struc...

sarebaer · sarebaer

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and just grasping an ounce of serenity. It had already been through a rough couple of weeks with my active AH. I've come to realize my AH is jealous of my family. We have been married going on 10 years and I thought after all these years he would accept Them and love them lik...

Tracy · Tracy

My Abf has gone missing with mney he owes me and his mum. I really need it I am in bit of a financual mess. I am so angrey went to get his nieces baby because I was baby sitting fr her she told me she did not know where he was. I went to collect her baby from another house where she had been dumped and the girl tol...

dean · dean

My wife and I have been married 21 years. No children. When she quit work about 8 years ago, she began drinking more than social drinking. In that time period, she lost her parents, then as time went on, she lost most of her friends. She used the bottle as an excape. Her health became a challenge and the d...

seekingtruth · seekingtruth

Just to let you know... There has been renewed activity on the MIP CoDa board. The step study and book study are moving as well as daily meditations. Wonderfully solution based work. Would love to see you there! John said he was hoping to turn on the chat board soon - so hopefully we can even build a me...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm wondering if others would be willing to share their list of unacceptable behaviors and the consequences they have established if their qualifier should exhibit one of these behaviors. This is a new concept for me and while I am doing ok with establishing unacceptable behaviors I'm not doing so w...

nyc018 · nyc018

I had posted before about the dilemma I have with my family as it affects my separation from my AH. I am getting a legal separation from AH which involves agreeing on financial arrangements. Unfortunately the law is not on my side since I was the primary wage earner for the 5 years of marriage. Should it g...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just some thoughts on last night's home group the Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG. Our lead put up the subject of "being Happy" and shared from some observations from her literature and he life. She works a good program and the subject was right on. We had an exhubera...

Devon · Devon

I've been dating a woman who has been in recovery (5 1/2 years A.A) for about 9 months. We live approximately 1 1/2 hours apart from each other. We both have 16 year old kids (she has a daughter and I a son...both 16). Our kids are healthy and they get along like a brother and sister. We have often done thin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I feel like I am always letting go of something. Just somewhat trivial things like long-running TV programs. I just witnessed the last airing of All My Children--it ended very strangely. I guess I expected something else. I have been watching the show since I was a very little girl & rem...

NaomiMarie · NaomiMarie

this is my first time posting anything here. where I live they don't have meeting close by and I struggle greatly with what to do and how to help my husband. he has been an Alcoholic for close to ten years now and I knew coming into the relationship that he was but over the last year he has been going out and st...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Been doing some more reading about my co-dependency issues and came across this. I have been struggling with the idea of it being a learned behavior. Growing up I watched my Grandmother drop every bit of herself in order to please my Grandfather. She put him on a pedestal and put him first above anyt...

Saffron · Saffron

Hey Everyone, I don't know if my situation is the right one for this board. There are a number of alcoholics in my family. My Grandfather is an alcoholic My uncle died of cirrosis when I was in my mid 20's. One of my siblings is an active alcoholic with co occurring mental health issues and a physica...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I love music and sometimes a song just strikes me so much. The lyrics are great, the singing is awesome... This is by ColdPlay "Fix You" When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse A...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi all. Just a quick note to say I'm still alive, and as far as I know ABF is still sober (almost 90 days now). YAY. We're trying to get out and do more things as a family, although he's still not working. Really hard to find a job in our area with no license. Still having a few episodes of dry drunk beh...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I love it when you guys post picture. It makes me feel better. Like the jokes ya post, or funny stories We all need a "calgon take me awaaaaay!" (c:

Woodenships · Woodenships

Newbie here,,,,,,Here I sit at work and it's 1:16 in the afternoon. I got up this morning, got ready for work like I always do and then on the way to work it hit me. What if he's not here this time next year. My AH has cirrhosis,,,,there are so many unsanswered questions and I feel like the time I spend at w...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Something I love to do is photography for me, not for anyone else... here's a few.... The blue herron is one of my favorite birds, this one was just standing there one day while I did some engagement photography...loved it! The gate is at a favorite park near the ocean here. The house is something righ...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi, I am new here - new to Alanon - just attended my first meeting last night. Starting to work Step 1. My ex left me for someone else and I can't stop wanting to email him and text him and call him. I am calling on my higher power constantly to give me strength to move forward with this program. I believe in God...

jmanning · jmanning

Hello, I am here looking for some support and guidance..and heres my story. My husband got his 4th DUI in March of this year. This past friday we had court and his lawyer said he won't go to jail that he would be on bond til a bed opened. He was given 4yrs but offered 9mos RPF. Which in arkansas is a rehab. A lot...

Debilyn · Debilyn

ok here is the story. I was so bored so I started having guinea pigs. I love it. I have two kinds that are hairless. Very rare, and my silly regular Americans someone rescued. I had one paid for and three more going to be next week then picking them up. I had spoke up about a hoarder on the g pig group, P. Peopl...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Delegating and giving responsibility to my children has thus far been a good experience over the last three days. They helped me prepare dinner last night. I broadly told them what I needed and to find their own way of doing it. Giving them the power to succeed or make a mistake is part of this experi...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I never received the message in my family of origin of is it in my best interest or to thine own self be true perhaps because I grew up in an alcoholic home. I was taught to make your outsides look great forget about the insides, everything is just Fine, Thank You. So, coming into the alanon program for me...

tommyecat · tommyecat

On Monday our group has a step/tradition study meeting. Yesterday we were on Step 10, Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. As the discussion made its way across the room, I started to take my own inventory. I had a light bulb moment that in the evenings I b...

kris10 · kris10

While reading this, please remember I'm new at this...lol Because I have some very strong feelings that NEED to go away... My A bf has this friend.. His "best friend" for years. I put that in quotes because I really think I hate this person... I know hate is a strong word and I shouldn't hate an...

lostchildhood · lostchildhood

Im new here but hopefully I can get some help. Ill start out with a little overview of my life. Right now I am 24 and have a 2 yr. old daughter. I have a future husband that has a 2 yr old daughter. We both have jobs and make good money. Live in a great house and life is all around good...except if you look on th...

newone87 · newone87

Hello All, I am new to this forum and seek some help from people who might be able to understand where I am coming from. Being a 24 year old who does not drink or do drugs with alcholic parents leaves me feeling pretty alone. It's typical for a 24 year old to drink with friends but its never been my norm. ...

Dharma · Dharma

So, my brother whom I cut ties with a few days ago (some of you know about this from my other post) just won't leave things alone. He keeps emailing me telling me everyone hates me...as if I care what a buncha drunk druggies on his street think of me. Then, he gets no response from me so he sends my husband a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

the gal who was climbing up my funky ladder I put down there and tied is who did the pics for me. She is a Godsend to me and her husband who is climbing up the stairs with their dog. They rented some of my property when they drove from Ca to here. She is like a daughter to me. True,loyal always helps, we help each...

abbyal · abbyal

I found this yrs ago in a old forum magazine . Yagottawanna - Go to that first meeting as a step out of despair. Yagottawanna- Go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress. Yagottawanna- Listen when you get there. Yagottawanna- Do what it says to do . Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merel...

pineapple · pineapple

Thanks to everyone who replied to my post ¨How Important Is It?¨ You gave me lots to think about and I've been thinking hard on it the last two days. My mind kept returning to a couple of things: ¨ "You have two choices. You can either leave the dirty dishes in the sink and let them rot for weeks O...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

Lyrics from a song that have particular resonance for me today. "You cut me open, and I keep bleeding love..." I was woken up this morning by a call from my mother. First thing she says to me is "Don't be angry and yell at me. I've been drinking." I told her it had been fairly obvi...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

She follows me around and makes me think of the past. She makes me sit on the pitty pot in my present and she makes me sad about my future. I can't help what and where I come from. I work a diligent program to wipe away the dysfunction and yet there she is, this sad little girl follows me around. My sponsor and I...

maresie · maresie

A few years ago when I was so over involved with the ex A I saw a psychiatrist and he told me my priorities were all way off. I had no idea what he was talking about. Wasn't it the ex A who had all the problems. I was so much in denial about what it was doing to my mental health. These days living as I do, surround...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

My mother is currently trying to recover from a breakup. The man she had been with for 16 years left after beating her. She is, understandably, very upset over this. There is a reason why Stockholm Syndrome is a thing, and she loved him in the first place, or thought that she did. She's wavering betwe...

glad · glad

When growing up or in life prior to alanon...Does anyone else here remember ever being taught to "take care of yourself" or love yourself or think about what is in your own best interest ( and then take action to achieve that FOR YOURSELF )growing up? Were you taught to be all that you can be bu...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Update: I am staying with friends, the idea of which was to give my RA a little extra time to move out. Things had been arranged with his friends, truck, etc... I told him I was unable to talk until I felt more composed. Now I get a message from him saying he is refusing to move 'unless he has...

nyc018 · nyc018

Ive been trying to implement Alanon principles as best as I can going to f2f meetings, and reading Getting them Sober which describes so well irrational guilt. At the same time my AH is doing everything to destroy my serenity and my attempts to be free of guilt and the actions Ive taken as a response...

jmanning · jmanning

I am so excited my AH got his furlough today, he got 5hrs supervised furlough. But supervision was with his lawyer.Yeah!!! So he took care of his things at college, was able to put money in the bank. Then he came home to shower and the landlord stopped over and my AH was able to tell him what happened. I did...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm sure you all know how much I love you all. Thanks for the special birthday wishes and love. You all give me what you have learned in recovery so that I can give it away to others in need and you don't live in my head; you live in my heart. I hope for you all and for those fortunate enough to touch your r...

Ava2010 · Ava2010

Hi, My husband is in 37 yrs old and he has a very stressful career. For a few years now he has been drinking 70 proof Southern Comfort several night a week (usually Fri,Sat, and Sun night, not during the work week) He has 2 to 2.5 glasses each time. About 350ml . It ends up that the largest bottle you ca...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	That face (Preview) Like many of you, I grew up in an alcoholic household, with both parents being heavy daily drinkers. Amazing how I find myself reliving some of those bad memories now with my wife. I have a picture from when I graduated college, about 20 years ago. I'm standing next to my now deceased mom, who was in a whee...	usedtobeanyer	6	567	Sep 26, 2011 by youfoundme
	Its been a week.... (Preview) Well its been a week since my AH went to jail. And last weekend when I posted I never thought I would make it, or thought it would get easier. But it has, when he got his furlough tuesday that helped me emotionally a lot. And during this week I did a lot of thinking and reflecting back. And I realize how I did no...	jmanning	9	597	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Processing changes with the tools (Preview) Practicing the principles in all my affairs: I am really trying to stay in the day and let go of the unknowns until I need to know about them. There is a likely chance that we could have to move for a couple yrs. while hubby has a contract to work in DC. I am nervous about living in or so near to a large city. I am n...	luv123	3	498	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	mmm WOW!!!!!! (Preview) Again I am so very thankful for my higher power mostly and for this board and for alanon. Earlier this week I spoke with my ex A boyfriend by phone about his sick father and basicly a "how are you call" in the past I couldn't even look at or speak to my ex without crying and then staying in bed all a...	glad	4	597	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Long conversation with Ex-A (Preview) It has been 3 years since we split up. Ironically 1 week away from 3 years sober for me cuz my first day sober was the day we split. So anyhow, I talked to my ex for like an hour and a half. He is the type of alcoholic that typically finds another alcoholic or addict that drinks or drugs worse than him and the...	pinkchip	10	852	Sep 26, 2011 by maresie
	Loving an Alcoholic (Preview) Did I ever think that this was possible?? NO! I found it hard to really love my mother because of alcoholism, my ex was an alcoholic...and now I've let myself get involved with a man who has known me for years, who is an alcoholic, who is married and who hit me for the first time a week ago. I've never been h...	Irene	13	1092	Sep 26, 2011 by seekingtruth
	Feeling Twitchy and Itchy .. (Preview) Which translates to I def need to get to a meeting, thank goodness there is one tonight. There's a lot going on at the moment and I have concerns over how my mother is choosing to grieve. I'm all about everyone needs to grieve in their own way, (I worked at a funeral home) there are issues though and right...	Pushka	6	663	Sep 26, 2011 by rosielee
	First Post... (Preview) Hello, -I went to my first Al-anon meeting last Monday night. IT was a very overwhelming experience - - made me wonder if I had what it took to hear the stories of those who shared... I shared my story, too, and it was good to be able to talk about things. briefly, I am two-years into a second marriage, af...	HDgem	8	582	Sep 26, 2011 by rosielee
	precipice (sp?) (Preview) Hi guys As you may remember, I just got back from holidays with my husband. For the holidays I had a 'straight' husband. All the issues that I thought would happen, didn't happen. Basically he didn't get the opportunity to smoke because none of my friends do, and my sisters birthday proved that she ha...	Lindaoakford	4	529	Sep 26, 2011 by rosielee
	Some comfort please? (Preview) Hi, My big brother is the alcoholic. He is 32 and I am 22. He stopped drinking 3 years ago and since then we have become ever so close. He is the best big brother in the world. However, today he has slipped. He has been dating a lovely lady recently and his emotions have taken over him, so much that he has st...	littlesister	9	677	Sep 26, 2011 by littlesister
	My sponsor just turned my head inside-out! (Preview) I was telling her about something my dad had said to me, and she bluntly said "that's abuse". She said the same thing about a couple other childhood moments I shared with her. ...I'd heard of verbal/emotional abuse before, and had come to the conclusion that A) it's mostly something made up...	atheos	5	783	Sep 26, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	I'm getting there (Preview) Hi. I have just come in from an evening out at a local restaurant with Son, Daughter & Partner to celebrate what would have been my husband, Stephen's 64th birthday (it is now 22.35 in the UK). What a waste! We should have been enjoying retirement by now and doing all sorts of things. But it was not to b...	Tattyhead	4	389	Sep 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Realizing That Life Happens whether I'm ready or Not! (Preview) Hey MIP... Missed you All... Sorry been Away for awhile but Life seems to just Keep on Keepin On even if My feet Never seem to Hit the Floor... Same stuff Differant way, but I am Getting by the Best I can and with a Pretty Awesome HP helping me get over the Hurdles... You know the More I looked at "ME&quo...	Jozie	2	435	Sep 25, 2011 by Debilyn
	love (Preview) Why do i want do be in love? I find myself looking for it everywhere. I still very much love my ex A, but found out from some friends that she cheated. She admitted to them while drunk. I found out over labor day. Damn i wish things had been different. I keep going to meetings and things do not seem to get any be...	jamfu	10	760	Sep 25, 2011 by likemyheart
	just a minute! (Preview) I was just thinking about the expression: NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Isn't that kind of funny. I never thought of that before. My sponsor has a lot of wisdom & experience--she has been in the Program for almost 13 years. I know what she says comes from her heart. I have nothing but respect & adm...	Hoot Nanny	3	557	Sep 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	iv just forgotten my mums birthday....and shes "livid" and to be honest i dont care!!!!! (Preview) so- this is my mum- a dry drunk and completely self obsessed. so she phones me up tonight and says....(in her "Im having a funny with you " voice") and says it was her birthday and she didnt get a card and she said "its funny when people do that to yu- you dont like it" and then she...	rosielee	9	794	Sep 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	back from Perth (Preview) HI I am back from my 9 day trip to my family of origin in Perth. there was not hassles at all. Normal family frustrations but thats it. I was worried about my sister wanting to 'party on' and arguing with my Dad and my husband getting into the 'party scene'. None of that happened. I felt my HP wiht me in ma...	Lindaoakford	10	603	Sep 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	A few more recent photos (Preview) Just a random fishing photo at sunset...2 monarchs still in crysalis's and 1 monarch open and alive....	youfoundme	6	357	Sep 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Sunday night's meeting (Preview) I'm not going to make it for Sunday evening's meeting again this week. So I would like to ask for someone to try to cover for me at the 7 p.m. Sunday night meeting of the current OP's. Since mom moved into the VA home August 15th, I thought I'd have MORE time to do things and instead I have LESS. Today we are ha...	Overcome	0	378	Sep 24, 2011 by Overcome
	Please don't confront me with my failures. I have not forgotten them (Preview) I am reading this book by David Sheff called Beautiful Boy. Its about the father's side of what went on when his son was addicted to drugs (meth, heroin, pills, what have you). He mentions alanon in it and going to meetings which is nice. I know its not conference approved, but the sentence that struc...	youfoundme	15	1325	Sep 24, 2011 by HDgem
	Stressed beyond words. (Preview) I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and just grasping an ounce of serenity. It had already been through a rough couple of weeks with my active AH. I've come to realize my AH is jealous of my family. We have been married going on 10 years and I thought after all these years he would accept Them and love them lik...	sarebaer	7	546	Sep 24, 2011 by Tattyhead
	sorry need to get this out. (Preview) My Abf has gone missing with mney he owes me and his mum. I really need it I am in bit of a financual mess. I am so angrey went to get his nieces baby because I was baby sitting fr her she told me she did not know where he was. I went to collect her baby from another house where she had been dumped and the girl tol...	Tracy	7	626	Sep 24, 2011 by Tattyhead
	8 years ago (Preview) My wife and I have been married 21 years. No children. When she quit work about 8 years ago, she began drinking more than social drinking. In that time period, she lost her parents, then as time went on, she lost most of her friends. She used the bottle as an excape. Her health became a challenge and the d...	dean	5	554	Sep 24, 2011 by maresie
	CoDA Board (Preview) Just to let you know... There has been renewed activity on the MIP CoDa board. The step study and book study are moving as well as daily meditations. Wonderfully solution based work. Would love to see you there! John said he was hoping to turn on the chat board soon - so hopefully we can even build a me...	seekingtruth	1	320	Sep 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Unacceptable behavior and consequences (Preview) I'm wondering if others would be willing to share their list of unacceptable behaviors and the consequences they have established if their qualifier should exhibit one of these behaviors. This is a new concept for me and while I am doing ok with establishing unacceptable behaviors I'm not doing so w...	usedtobeanyer	23	8903	Sep 24, 2011 by rosielee
	Abuse from all ends (Preview) I had posted before about the dilemma I have with my family as it affects my separation from my AH. I am getting a legal separation from AH which involves agreeing on financial arrangements. Unfortunately the law is not on my side since I was the primary wage earner for the 5 years of marriage. Should it g...	nyc018	6	551	Sep 24, 2011 by rosielee
	On Being Happy.... (Preview) Aloha Family...just some thoughts on last night's home group the Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG. Our lead put up the subject of "being Happy" and shared from some observations from her literature and he life. She works a good program and the subject was right on. We had an exhubera...	Jerry F	5	480	Sep 23, 2011 by Jozie
	Dating a Woman in Recovery (Preview) I've been dating a woman who has been in recovery (5 1/2 years A.A) for about 9 months. We live approximately 1 1/2 hours apart from each other. We both have 16 year old kids (she has a daughter and I a son...both 16). Our kids are healthy and they get along like a brother and sister. We have often done thin...	Devon	14	1198	Sep 23, 2011 by Devon
	letting go... (Preview) Sometimes I feel like I am always letting go of something. Just somewhat trivial things like long-running TV programs. I just witnessed the last airing of All My Children--it ended very strangely. I guess I expected something else. I have been watching the show since I was a very little girl & rem...	Hoot Nanny	1	473	Sep 23, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	struggling on where my place is in helping him... (Preview) this is my first time posting anything here. where I live they don't have meeting close by and I struggle greatly with what to do and how to help my husband. he has been an Alcoholic for close to ten years now and I knew coming into the relationship that he was but over the last year he has been going out and st...	NaomiMarie	10	902	Sep 23, 2011 by Jerry F
	Codependency/Learned Behavior (Preview) Been doing some more reading about my co-dependency issues and came across this. I have been struggling with the idea of it being a learned behavior. Growing up I watched my Grandmother drop every bit of herself in order to please my Grandfather. She put him on a pedestal and put him first above anyt...	ELEKTRAWMN	6	856	Sep 23, 2011 by maresie
	My Story - first time poster (long). (Preview) Hey Everyone, I don't know if my situation is the right one for this board. There are a number of alcoholics in my family. My Grandfather is an alcoholic My uncle died of cirrosis when I was in my mid 20's. One of my siblings is an active alcoholic with co occurring mental health issues and a physica...	Saffron	9	630	Sep 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Lights will guide you home (Preview) I love music and sometimes a song just strikes me so much. The lyrics are great, the singing is awesome... This is by ColdPlay "Fix You" When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse A...	youfoundme	5	463	Sep 23, 2011 by youfoundme
	Checking in... (Preview) Hi all. Just a quick note to say I'm still alive, and as far as I know ABF is still sober (almost 90 days now). YAY. We're trying to get out and do more things as a family, although he's still not working. Really hard to find a job in our area with no license. Still having a few episodes of dry drunk beh...	ELEKTRAWMN	4	618	Sep 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	More pics to make ya smile (Preview) I love it when you guys post picture. It makes me feel better. Like the jokes ya post, or funny stories We all need a "calgon take me awaaaaay!" (c:	Debilyn	4	399	Sep 22, 2011 by Debilyn
	Sad today (Preview) Newbie here,,,,,,Here I sit at work and it's 1:16 in the afternoon. I got up this morning, got ready for work like I always do and then on the way to work it hit me. What if he's not here this time next year. My AH has cirrhosis,,,,there are so many unsanswered questions and I feel like the time I spend at w...	Woodenships	9	644	Sep 22, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	A few photos... (Preview) Something I love to do is photography for me, not for anyone else... here's a few.... The blue herron is one of my favorite birds, this one was just standing there one day while I did some engagement photography...loved it! The gate is at a favorite park near the ocean here. The house is something righ...	youfoundme	9	868	Sep 22, 2011 by Debilyn
	What do you do when you can't stop obsessing over ex?? (Preview) Hi, I am new here - new to Alanon - just attended my first meeting last night. Starting to work Step 1. My ex left me for someone else and I can't stop wanting to email him and text him and call him. I am calling on my higher power constantly to give me strength to move forward with this program. I believe in God...	jasobel	11	7031	Sep 22, 2011 by tri and try
	New here....and sad..(kinda long) (Preview) Hello, I am here looking for some support and guidance..and heres my story. My husband got his 4th DUI in March of this year. This past friday we had court and his lawyer said he won't go to jail that he would be on bond til a bed opened. He was given 4yrs but offered 9mos RPF. Which in arkansas is a rehab. A lot...	jmanning	11	782	Sep 22, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Well was true to myself, still hurt some..... (Preview) ok here is the story. I was so bored so I started having guinea pigs. I love it. I have two kinds that are hairless. Very rare, and my silly regular Americans someone rescued. I had one paid for and three more going to be next week then picking them up. I had spoke up about a hoarder on the g pig group, P. Peopl...	Debilyn	7	673	Sep 22, 2011 by rara avis
	Asking For Help and a upside down expression of Tradition 7 versus concepts 3 & 4 (Preview) Delegating and giving responsibility to my children has thus far been a good experience over the last three days. They helped me prepare dinner last night. I broadly told them what I needed and to find their own way of doing it. Giving them the power to succeed or make a mistake is part of this experi...	tommyecat	2	831	Sep 22, 2011 by youfoundme
	Self Care (Preview) I never received the message in my family of origin of is it in my best interest or to thine own self be true perhaps because I grew up in an alcoholic home. I was taught to make your outsides look great forget about the insides, everything is just Fine, Thank You. So, coming into the alanon program for me...	tommyecat	12	1834	Sep 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Step 10 and Concept 4 (Preview) On Monday our group has a step/tradition study meeting. Yesterday we were on Step 10, Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. As the discussion made its way across the room, I started to take my own inventory. I had a light bulb moment that in the evenings I b...	tommyecat	8	1326	Sep 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	??? (Preview) While reading this, please remember I'm new at this...lol Because I have some very strong feelings that NEED to go away... My A bf has this friend.. His "best friend" for years. I put that in quotes because I really think I hate this person... I know hate is a strong word and I shouldn't hate an...	kris10	5	498	Sep 22, 2011 by rosielee
	New Girl Here (Preview) Im new here but hopefully I can get some help. Ill start out with a little overview of my life. Right now I am 24 and have a 2 yr. old daughter. I have a future husband that has a 2 yr old daughter. We both have jobs and make good money. Live in a great house and life is all around good...except if you look on th...	lostchildhood	13	520	Sep 21, 2011 by lasthope
	Boyfriend Showing Signs of Addiction (Preview) Hello All, I am new to this forum and seek some help from people who might be able to understand where I am coming from. Being a 24 year old who does not drink or do drugs with alcholic parents leaves me feeling pretty alone. It's typical for a 24 year old to drink with friends but its never been my norm. ...	newone87	15	753	Sep 21, 2011 by Pushka
	He just won't leave it alone (Preview) So, my brother whom I cut ties with a few days ago (some of you know about this from my other post) just won't leave things alone. He keeps emailing me telling me everyone hates me...as if I care what a buncha drunk druggies on his street think of me. Then, he gets no response from me so he sends my husband a...	Dharma	6	582	Sep 21, 2011 by Saffron
	last ones (Preview) the gal who was climbing up my funky ladder I put down there and tied is who did the pics for me. She is a Godsend to me and her husband who is climbing up the stairs with their dog. They rented some of my property when they drove from Ca to here. She is like a daughter to me. True,loyal always helps, we help each...	Debilyn	7	558	Sep 21, 2011 by Pushka
	Yagottawanna -- long one (Preview) *I found this yrs ago in a old forum magazine .* *Yagottawanna - Go to that first meeting as a step out of despair.* *Yagottawanna- Go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress.* *Yagottawanna- Listen when you get there.* *Yagottawanna- Do what it says to do .* *Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merel...*	abbyal	6	647	Sep 21, 2011 by Pushka
	Update (Preview) Thanks to everyone who replied to my post ¨How Important Is It?¨ You gave me lots to think about and I've been thinking hard on it the last two days. My mind kept returning to a couple of things: ¨ "You have two choices.* You can either leave the dirty dishes in the sink and let them rot for weeks O...*	pineapple	11	673	Sep 21, 2011 by GailMichelle
	you cut me open... (Preview) Lyrics from a song that have particular resonance for me today. "You cut me open, and I keep bleeding love..." I was woken up this morning by a call from my mother. First thing she says to me is "Don't be angry and yell at me. I've been drinking." I told her it had been fairly obvi...	scholarlydragon	4	593	Sep 21, 2011 by rosielee
	The old guilty vicitm (Preview) She follows me around and makes me think of the past. She makes me sit on the pitty pot in my present and she makes me sad about my future. I can't help what and where I come from. I work a diligent program to wipe away the dysfunction and yet there she is, this sad little girl follows me around. My sponsor and I...	Breakingfree	7	675	Sep 21, 2011 by rosielee
	Priorities (Preview) A few years ago when I was so over involved with the ex A I saw a psychiatrist and he told me my priorities were all way off. I had no idea what he was talking about. Wasn't it the ex A who had all the problems. I was so much in denial about what it was doing to my mental health. These days living as I do, surround...	maresie	5	708	Sep 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	anger and frustration (Preview) My mother is currently trying to recover from a breakup. The man she had been with for 16 years left after beating her. She is, understandably, very upset over this. There is a reason why Stockholm Syndrome is a thing, and she loved him in the first place, or thought that she did. She's wavering betwe...	scholarlydragon	5	1029	Sep 21, 2011 by rosielee
	Does anyone else "get this" ? (Preview) When growing up or in life prior to alanon...Does anyone else here remember ever being taught to "take care of yourself" or love yourself or think about what is in your own best interest ( and then take action to achieve that FOR YOURSELF )growing up? Were you taught to be all that you can be bu...	glad	8	740	Sep 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	RA refusing to leave my house (Preview) Hey everybody, Update: I am staying with friends, the idea of which was to give my RA a little extra time to move out. Things had been arranged with his friends, truck, etc... I told him I was unable to talk until I felt more composed. Now I get a message from him saying he is refusing to move 'unless he has...	rara avis	20	689	Sep 21, 2011 by Pushka
	Feelings of Guilt (Preview) Ive been trying to implement Alanon principles as best as I can going to f2f meetings, and reading Getting them Sober which describes so well irrational guilt. At the same time my AH is doing everything to destroy my serenity and my attempts to be free of guilt and the actions Ive taken as a response...	nyc018	10	649	Sep 21, 2011 by rara avis
	He got his furlough today (Preview) I am so excited my AH got his furlough today, he got 5hrs supervised furlough. But supervision was with his lawyer.Yeah!!! So he took care of his things at college, was able to put money in the bank. Then he came home to shower and the landlord stopped over and my AH was able to tell him what happened. I did...	jmanning	9	465	Sep 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))) (Preview) I'm sure you all know how much I love you all. Thanks for the special birthday wishes and love. You all give me what you have learned in recovery so that I can give it away to others in need and you don't live in my head; you live in my heart. I hope for you all and for those fortunate enough to touch your r...	Jerry F	4	675	Sep 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	Is my husband an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi, My husband is in 37 yrs old and he has a very stressful career. For a few years now he has been drinking 70 proof Southern Comfort several night a week (usually Fri,Sat, and Sun night, not during the work week) He has 2 to 2.5 glasses each time. About 350ml . It ends up that the largest bottle you ca...	Ava2010	14	4605	Sep 20, 2011 by newlywed
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.