Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tommyecat · tommyecat

To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...

Pushka · Pushka

Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...

nyc018 · nyc018

I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...

atheos · atheos

Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair.

...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...

amills4294 · amills4294

Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...

RLC · RLC

The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC

Minaret · Minaret

Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...

ythannah · ythannah

ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...

_heather_ · _heather_

How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...

jualias · jualias

Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...

Little White Bunny · Little White Bunny

I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...

Jozie · Jozie

As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...

funkyswimgrl · funkyswimgrl

My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM

Tracy · Tracy

I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...

atheos · atheos

Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...

oldergal · oldergal

I have read a few posts in the last month referring to being "grounded". In the Al-Anon program what do you think it means to be grounded? Oldergal

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi, I haven't been here on this board for over a year, I believe. I've been attending face to face meetings though. But, I just needed a little additional support tonight. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about 14 months. Prior to that, he was mainly drunk for years - to the poi...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

The following is from the website Thought For Today. It might come in handy for those of us who will be around others on Thanksgiving Day in America. The Power to Adjust Often when we have to adjust to a person or a situation, we experience many negative thoughts. We find it difficult and tend to feel we...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Hi, Several years ago I wrote to find support because my husband was an alcoholic. Two years ago, I wrote to find support b/c my AH was withdrawing (without doctor supervision), from 10 year use of Clonazepam and Effexor. A few weeks ago I wrote to find support b/c my husband became a patient in the psych...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Ok guys, I dont want to unload too much, but I am finding myself becoming more isolated because of my situation. I havent posted here, or gone to meetings in awhile and I am basically just existing day to day. Things were okay for a while, then my AH started letting the alcohol creep back into family ga...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm trying not to have expectations this year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I will take it above and beyond all the others. I spend days making the dinner from scratch because *I* love to do it. For me, it's like painting a masterpiece as I find the perfect ingredients and assemble them into dis...

atheos · atheos

I have been going to Al-Anon for several months now, and I can see the improvements in my life. Multiple Al-Anon friends have spotted "adult child" issues in my behavior and my shares, and suggested that I go to the local ACoA group as well. I've been to the ACoA meetings a few times, and they w...

lacewing · lacewing

I am unable to Host/Chair my regularly scheduled Tuesday Night Miracles in Progress Alanon Meeting at 9PM EST in our chatroom. I am hoping that someone can step up and offer their services to do so in my absence, if you please. Thank you, ~!~ Lacewing

No words · No words

My husband has relapsed. Tonight when I realized he had been drinking I quickly removed my son and myself from the desease. We went upstairs to leave him to deal with himself. Without any fight he came upstairs collected a few things and left. On leaving he said he was leaving because he knew he was a fail...

seeking wisdom · seeking wisdom

Hi again. My fiancee has asked me where I am at. She has never taken my encouragement seriously to seek support after her two previous relationships have been with addicts. I've reached the point where it is affecting my health. I've drafted a letter in which I have lovingly pointed out the facts of tho...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I thought about this a lot. Went back in my experiences. When Tracy C was "harsh" on me, I took it as a hmmm better look at this. I appreciate her boldness to say how she felt. We have learned thru Al Anon that growth comes from painful times. We are in recovery too. We don't say when an A relapses o...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

you may remember a few weeks ago I said that I had bought tickets for a show to a medium. It was the first time I had just made arrangements to go out without myhusband. Usually if he didnt want to go, I wouldn't have gone without him. I didn't even think, I just went ahead and did it. It was afterwards I re...

Jozie · Jozie

MIP... Asking for Prayers for My Mother In Law... She is to Return Home today with Hospice... Thanks all So Much for Your Continued Support... I am Forever Grateful

Love, hugs & Prayers to all...

Jozie

Michelle814 · Michelle814

This is the first time my AH sat in a hospital bed and could say "no" to did you drink today? and "no" to do you use illegal drugs. Now, I assume he's telling the truth but my trust is rather frayed. In the past four years my AH has been in the ER three times now. The first was that he al...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Nothing new here. Just venting. Isn't it amazing how the disease is not curable for us either? At least we can move on and get healthy in many ways, but for me the scar gets sore. I was online and put ex Ah's name in.Found out he was in jail again.Oct 2010-Jan.2011. I don't know why. Then saw his mugshot. I a...

kris10 · kris10

Well, so far so good..?? I think?? I'm still very sick with this flu/cold and so my bf brought the little one to school again... He even offered!! Then he was gone most of the day so of course I was worrying or trying not to.. Then he actually came home with one of his sober friends.... I was shocked.. I think...

jumpinjesuits · jumpinjesuits

Hi I don't know how to start this out, so I'm just going to go for it. What do I do with a friend and a lover that nearly every time she drinks, she does NOT remember what happened? Last time she did this, I witnessed it and her behavior changed from liking me to pushing me and trying to get with every guy in the r...

Rose50 · Rose50

I am new to this board; have been lurking for a while now and reading all the posts has helped. I am having such a difficult time detaching from my son. He has been hospitalized 3x in the last 6 months and after this last one, I thought for sure he would hit his "rock bottom". He already has some li...

FH · FH

Our daughter moved back into our home after a 1st stay at rehab. She is 25. She said that she really didn't belong in rehab. HA! She ended up drunk and we told her to leave. She is in contact but says that she has no where to live. She does have a car. We will not let her move back in. We will not pay for a p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just in case, since Pushka mentioned Lois, this is a good movie how AA started. Excellent acting by James Woods and James Garner.

orchidlover · orchidlover

Right now I can accept my life as it is. I have no boyfriend, haven't had one for years. I have looked but I am so busy and have so much going on to find the time to meet someone is impossible. I have moved out of the alcoholic house I lived in. I am not working as much as I did and the free time is cherished. I am a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so Nov. is gratitude month. We are going to our annual Gratitude Banquet on Sat. I am not sure if I will be on here tomorrow so here goes: I am so grateful to have the freedom to basically whatever I please these days! My Ah is doing well & gives me many opportunites that I take on a daily basis. Like get...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I was reading the "Getting Them Sober" book by Toby Rice Drews. Up the back it had a section about the sexual side of things. One part jumped out at me on page 122 down the bottom "Karen and Sara both realized they weren't dealing with "regular" husbands who could or wou...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, just been to a really good meeting on negativity. I have had not such a good day today spoke to my ex abf who is in early sobriety and the grief was hard. Any how I rang a couple of members a little bit more positive, I read a little bit more positive, then I went to the eeting and it was on negativity. ...

seeking wisdom · seeking wisdom

Hi again, and thanks to all who commented on my other question. The admission to having wine when A gets up finally pushed me to do something (this following sippy cups in the park, gin alone at noon etc, a bottle of wine alone when sad). I wrote to a social worker whose response indicated depression, pot...

Kellie32980 · Kellie32980

My younger sister has had a four year stint with alcohol, until recently our family has come to our final straw and she received her first DUI at the same time (good timing). She has a 9 year old daughter as well. She has not been working in over a month and will leave her home prior to going to detox then re...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am hoping this will be the fun trip I foresee with my kids and catching up with my childhood friends and their kids. I have a few things booked and bought the plane tickets so it's on. Last time I was there almost 3 years ago, I fought with my Mom so much and couldn't stand her live in boyfriend who sells...

nyc018 · nyc018

I had a very emotional weekend with AH last week. Were separated but he visits our young son practically every weekend. He is in very early recovery now, after leaving an in-house rehab in September. This follows a summer where he almost got alcohol poisoned and lost his job for absenteeism due to his d...

Pushka · Pushka

I have to say that this week has been a big week of changes and choices. I'm going to have to find out what to do with my "justified" resentments and I have a list apparently I wasn't even aware of at the time. I've decided to go to a counselor to deal with some of it. I need more feed back than wha...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, need to just get this out there. My ABf had a slip on the 22 sep afetr 9 month sober in AA and rehab. He broke boundary went missing in party with other girls I ended it was fll of resentment. I am past the resentment now thanks to al anon but when the resentment passes and i remember he is sick its not p...

orchidlover · orchidlover

last year I took a retail job on the weekends in desperation because my financial situation was so dire. As you may know the holidays are pretty hard work. So last year I worked with a woman who I quite liked I admired her industrious nature (she worked 2 jobs). Then she started complaining and not being...

seeking wisdom · seeking wisdom

Hi. I have a fiancee and I am planning to move to her city. Her past 2 relationships have been with addicts, she has a small child with one. I know those sound like red flags but she comes from a great and supportive family. This summer she told me she'd occasionally pour alcohol into a slurpy cup for hersel...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Happy Thanksgiving (Preview) To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...	tommyecat	8	495	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gratitude Meeting :) (Preview) Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...	Pushka	2	396	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thanksgiving Musings (Preview) My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...	likemyheart	13	531	Nov 24, 2011 by likemyheart
	Did I overreact - family boundaries (Preview) I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...	nyc018	6	438	Nov 24, 2011 by danni
	Empty... (Preview) I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......	shellyj123	15	496	Nov 24, 2011 by John
	Thanksgiving wine (or maybe whine) (Preview) I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...	Very Very Tired	8	536	Nov 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sometimes manure makes flowers grow (Preview) Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair. ...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...	atheos	5	556	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	the holidays (Preview) Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...	amills4294	6	502	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	How To Lead A Full Life ? (Preview) The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC	RLC	12	1046	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	Feeling lost and isolated (Preview) Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...	Minaret	11	391	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Help, I'm on rock bottom (Preview) Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...	rara avis	18	737	Nov 23, 2011 by rara avis
	Holidays with alcohol around (Preview) Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...	oldgraduate	10	440	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Spinning (Preview) I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...	Jackie11	17	611	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Why Does Doing the "Right" Thing Have to be so Painful? (Preview) ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...	ythannah	8	524	Nov 23, 2011 by ythannah
	a new day has come! (Preview) It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...	Hoot Nanny	3	453	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Painful Time of the Year (Preview) Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...	Grace7	7	506	Nov 23, 2011 by Grace7
	psychologist (Preview) As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...	Lindaoakford	11	481	Nov 22, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Terrified, lost, sinking (Preview) Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...	ladysoblue	11	522	Nov 22, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Life changing decisions... (Preview) How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?	_heather_	11	414	Nov 22, 2011 by Pushka
	Keeping Distance to Keep Sanity separation sanity love let go let god (Preview) Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...	Michelle814	10	8257	Nov 22, 2011 by Michelle814
	Thank you (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...	looking_for_peace	5	271	Nov 22, 2011 by canadianguy
	First meeting - questions (Preview) Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...	jualias	8	680	Nov 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	hi I'm new here (Preview) I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...	Little White Bunny	5	580	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	acceptance vs. denial (Preview) My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...	DadtoCandE	5	1156	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Today I am Thankful... (Preview) As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...	Jozie	4	332	Nov 21, 2011 by Pushka
	speaker lists available? (Preview) My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM	funkyswimgrl	2	255	Nov 21, 2011 by funkyswimgrl
	no promises. (Preview) I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...	Tracy	5	515	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He loves me! (Preview) Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...	atheos	7	365	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	CAN WE TALK ABOUT GROUNDED (Preview) I have read a few posts in the last month referring to being "grounded". In the Al-Anon program what do you think it means to be grounded? Oldergal	oldergal	8	357	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I need to find the strength to just let go (Preview) Hi, I haven't been here on this board for over a year, I believe. I've been attending face to face meetings though. But, I just needed a little additional support tonight. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about 14 months. Prior to that, he was mainly drunk for years - to the poi...	stopandchat	12	639	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thought for Today (Preview) The following is from the website Thought For Today. It might come in handy for those of us who will be around others on Thanksgiving Day in America. The Power to Adjust Often when we have to adjust to a person or a situation, we experience many negative thoughts. We find it difficult and tend to feel we...	GailMichelle	4	456	Nov 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	suicide (Preview) Hi, Several years ago I wrote to find support because my husband was an alcoholic. Two years ago, I wrote to find support b/c my AH was withdrawing (without doctor supervision), from 10 year use of Clonazepam and Effexor. A few weeks ago I wrote to find support b/c my husband became a patient in the psych...	looking_for_peace	22	1645	Nov 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	Reaching out for help - sorry it's so long (Preview) Ok guys, I dont want to unload too much, but I am finding myself becoming more isolated because of my situation. I havent posted here, or gone to meetings in awhile and I am basically just existing day to day. Things were okay for a while, then my AH started letting the alcohol creep back into family ga...	oldgraduate	13	548	Nov 21, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Those pesky holiday expectations (Preview) I'm trying not to have expectations this year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I will take it above and beyond all the others. I spend days making the dinner from scratch because *I* love to do it. For me, it's like painting a masterpiece as I find the perfect ingredients and assemble them into dis...	Very Very Tired	7	603	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Do I really need to do the "adult child" stuff? (Preview) I have been going to Al-Anon for several months now, and I can see the improvements in my life. Multiple Al-Anon friends have spotted "adult child" issues in my behavior and my shares, and suggested that I go to the local ACoA group as well. I've been to the ACoA meetings a few times, and they w...	atheos	14	816	Nov 21, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	MIP Tuesday Night Alanon Meeting... (Preview) I am unable to Host/Chair my regularly scheduled Tuesday Night Miracles in Progress Alanon Meeting at 9PM EST in our chatroom. I am hoping that someone can step up and offer their services to do so in my absence, if you please. Thank you, ~!~ Lacewing	lacewing	0	314	Nov 21, 2011 by lacewing
	He's never left before (Preview) My husband has relapsed. Tonight when I realized he had been drinking I quickly removed my son and myself from the desease. We went upstairs to leave him to deal with himself. Without any fight he came upstairs collected a few things and left. On leaving he said he was leaving because he knew he was a fail...	No words	11	542	Nov 20, 2011 by Jerry F
	Loved one has never sought help. Do I leave? (Preview) Hi again. My fiancee has asked me where I am at. She has never taken my encouragement seriously to seek support after her two previous relationships have been with addicts. I've reached the point where it is affecting my health. I've drafted a letter in which I have lovingly pointed out the facts of tho...	seeking wisdom	6	515	Nov 20, 2011 by Debilyn
	growth, painful but positive (Preview) I thought about this a lot. Went back in my experiences. When Tracy C was "harsh" on me, I took it as a hmmm better look at this. I appreciate her boldness to say how she felt. We have learned thru Al Anon that growth comes from painful times. We are in recovery too. We don't say when an A relapses o...	Debilyn	4	340	Nov 20, 2011 by Breakingfree
	my night out was last night (Preview) you may remember a few weeks ago I said that I had bought tickets for a show to a medium. It was the first time I had just made arrangements to go out without myhusband. Usually if he didnt want to go, I wouldn't have gone without him. I didn't even think, I just went ahead and did it. It was afterwards I re...	Lindaoakford	12	698	Nov 20, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Prayers Please.... (Preview) MIP... Asking for Prayers for My Mother In Law... She is to Return Home today with Hospice... Thanks all So Much for Your Continued Support... I am Forever Grateful Love, hugs & Prayers to all... Jozie	Jozie	10	328	Nov 20, 2011 by Pushka
	It's a Miracle that My Husband is Alive Today let go and let god coincidence? (Preview) This is the first time my AH sat in a hospital bed and could say "no" to did you drink today? and "no" to do you use illegal drugs. Now, I assume he's telling the truth but my trust is rather frayed. In the past four years my AH has been in the ER three times now. The first was that he al...	Michelle814	11	1405	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Same ole pain (Preview) Nothing new here. Just venting. Isn't it amazing how the disease is not curable for us either? At least we can move on and get healthy in many ways, but for me the scar gets sore. I was online and put ex Ah's name in.Found out he was in jail again.Oct 2010-Jan.2011. I don't know why. Then saw his mugshot. I a...	Debilyn	4	397	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	update on preparing myself.... (Preview) Well, so far so good..?? I think?? I'm still very sick with this flu/cold and so my bf brought the little one to school again... He even offered!! Then he was gone most of the day so of course I was worrying or trying not to.. Then he actually came home with one of his sober friends.... I was shocked.. I think...	kris10	13	436	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Worried about female friend's drinking (Preview) Hi I don't know how to start this out, so I'm just going to go for it. What do I do with a friend and a lover that nearly every time she drinks, she does NOT remember what happened? Last time she did this, I witnessed it and her behavior changed from liking me to pushing me and trying to get with every guy in the r...	jumpinjesuits	8	602	Nov 20, 2011 by jumpinjesuits
	Trying so hard to detach (Preview) I am new to this board; have been lurking for a while now and reading all the posts has helped. I am having such a difficult time detaching from my son. He has been hospitalized 3x in the last 6 months and after this last one, I thought for sure he would hit his "rock bottom". He already has some li...	Rose50	8	417	Nov 20, 2011 by Pushka
	Daughter (Preview) Our daughter moved back into our home after a 1st stay at rehab. She is 25. She said that she really didn't belong in rehab. HA! She ended up drunk and we told her to leave. She is in contact but says that she has no where to live. She does have a car. We will not let her move back in. We will not pay for a p...	FH	13	641	Nov 20, 2011 by Jadie
	My Name is Bill (Preview) Just in case, since Pushka mentioned Lois, this is a good movie how AA started. Excellent acting by James Woods and James Garner.	Debilyn	5	416	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Acceptance (Preview) Right now I can accept my life as it is. I have no boyfriend, haven't had one for years. I have looked but I am so busy and have so much going on to find the time to meet someone is impossible. I have moved out of the alcoholic house I lived in. I am not working as much as I did and the free time is cherished. I am a...	orchidlover	5	431	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	gratitude month (Preview) OK so Nov. is gratitude month. We are going to our annual Gratitude Banquet on Sat. I am not sure if I will be on here tomorrow so here goes: I am so grateful to have the freedom to basically whatever I please these days! My Ah is doing well & gives me many opportunites that I take on a daily basis. Like get...	Hoot Nanny	3	590	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Understanding Toby's book "Getting Them Sober" (Preview) Hi, I was reading the "Getting Them Sober" book by Toby Rice Drews. Up the back it had a section about the sexual side of things. One part jumped out at me on page 122 down the bottom "Karen and Sara both realized they weren't dealing with "regular" husbands who could or wou...	Tracey C	6	755	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	negativity (Preview) Hi All, just been to a really good meeting on negativity. I have had not such a good day today spoke to my ex abf who is in early sobriety and the grief was hard. Any how I rang a couple of members a little bit more positive, I read a little bit more positive, then I went to the eeting and it was on negativity. ...	Tracy	5	762	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Is attack mode a typical response to being confronted? (Preview) Hi again, and thanks to all who commented on my other question. The admission to having wine when A gets up finally pushed me to do something (this following sippy cups in the park, gin alone at noon etc, a bottle of wine alone when sad). I wrote to a social worker whose response indicated depression, pot...	seeking wisdom	11	1005	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	How much do you help Financially fresh out of Rehab? HELP (Preview) My younger sister has had a four year stint with alcohol, until recently our family has come to our final straw and she received her first DUI at the same time (good timing). She has a 9 year old daughter as well. She has not been working in over a month and will leave her home prior to going to detox then re...	Kellie32980	10	643	Nov 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trip booked to California and to my Mom's! (Preview) I am hoping this will be the fun trip I foresee with my kids and catching up with my childhood friends and their kids. I have a few things booked and bought the plane tickets so it's on. Last time I was there almost 3 years ago, I fought with my Mom so much and couldn't stand her live in boyfriend who sells...	Breakingfree	4	321	Nov 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	Separations and trouble detaching (Preview) I had a very emotional weekend with AH last week. Were separated but he visits our young son practically every weekend. He is in very early recovery now, after leaving an in-house rehab in September. This follows a summer where he almost got alcohol poisoned and lost his job for absenteeism due to his d...	nyc018	1	360	Nov 18, 2011 by Pushka
	Nothing changes, ... nothing changes (Preview) I have to say that this week has been a big week of changes and choices. I'm going to have to find out what to do with my "justified" resentments and I have a list apparently I wasn't even aware of at the time. I've decided to go to a counselor to deal with some of it. I need more feed back than wha...	Pushka	6	448	Nov 18, 2011 by orchidlover
	I miss him but not the disease (Preview) Hi All, need to just get this out there. My ABf had a slip on the 22 sep afetr 9 month sober in AA and rehab. He broke boundary went missing in party with other girls I ended it was fll of resentment. I am past the resentment now thanks to al anon but when the resentment passes and i remember he is sick its not p...	Tracy	4	626	Nov 18, 2011 by orchidlover
	the victim role (Preview) last year I took a retail job on the weekends in desperation because my financial situation was so dire. As you may know the holidays are pretty hard work. So last year I worked with a woman who I quite liked I admired her industrious nature (she worked 2 jobs). Then she started complaining and not being...	orchidlover	9	3513	Nov 18, 2011 by orchidlover
	Am I seeing alcoholic behavior or over-reacting? (Preview) Hi. I have a fiancee and I am planning to move to her city. Her past 2 relationships have been with addicts, she has a small child with one. I know those sound like red flags but she comes from a great and supportive family. This summer she told me she'd occasionally pour alcohol into a slurpy cup for hersel...	seeking wisdom	9	840	Nov 18, 2011 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.