Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

amills4294 · amills4294

Every year my family of origin and my dad's extended family particpates in a Christmas gift exchange. Names are drawn and a $50 gift is exchanged. This year I have told the family due to my family circumstances and all that is going on in my life I would like to bow out and not participate. You would thin...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My decision today is to make no decision today until my roomate kicks me out this may be my answer every day to whether you not I should live with my AH when he gets out of rehab.. also my answer to whether we get a divorce if the mayhem continues I think I will know what to do when I know what to do. Also a dear fri...

stephaniej · stephaniej

So many months ago, during a heated "discussion" about my AH's drinking, I informed him in what I felt was a calm, non-judgmental way that I was not willing to buy beer for him. To his credit, he has respected this boundary, and has never asked me to pick up a 12-pack with the groceries, etc. N...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Things have been rockly lately. AH has been having wild mood swings, things have not been stable. When I got home from work last night I walked into an complete melt down from him. He said he was upset because he hadn't finished dinner for me, the grill ran out of gas, and he couldn't get a cardboard box ta...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last week was a tough week. Monday night and Wednesday night I was catching the spiral of ugliness. Thursday morning I was getting ready for my race and my AH came in to the room. I looked at him and told him that just because he doesn't love himself doesn't mean that I don't love him and he can accept that or...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Help! It says I have six messages, I don't. The writing is so small it is hard to read. What was wrong with how it was before? ????

MamaBird · MamaBird

Our 24 year old son was "forced" into rehab by us almost 1 year ago, and came out 3 mos later the son we remembered. He appreciated AA, had a great sponsor and went 5 times a week. Then, 6 mos in a sober living house where he just went through the motions, declaring he was NOT an addict and didn'...

jessicat · jessicat

Do you ever wish you could put on a pair of magic glasses that would allow you to see the truth of your loved ones' addiction, and not just the lies they feed you about it or the scenarios you have in your own mind? I feel like I'm going crazy trying to understand the extent of my husband's addiction so that I c...

kris10 · kris10

Haven't posted in a while... But I've still been reading... Hanging in there. Day by day.. So during november I had set a boundry that if my A doesn't pay his part of the bills then he needs to leave.... Well his pay day came and wouldn't ya know it he was high for 5 days straight... 1000 bucks gone in a day......

zeninator · zeninator

I'm totally new here but this stuff exasperates me sometimes. I worked with my mom for years and she got SO much better and didn't drink for months at a time. Now, every 2-3 days, she comes home in the early afternoon slurring her words and apparently thinks it doesn't bother my dad and I. And when this...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Party plans at 3 pm. Wish all of you could be there--most everything is done--just have to set-up & show up! And, make sure my friend Tammy is there! I think I am officially a party planner--now all I have to do is learn how to frost a cake now that I know I can bake one--inside joke! For anyone who doesn...

MDK · MDK

Hello, my name is Melissa and most of you know that I work with RLC. We go to meetings together and he was a great person. He passed last night at around 1030pm. It is a shock to everyone. We are all grieving at this loss because many of you know what a wonderful and giving person he was. I wanted to let you all k...

mehere80 · mehere80

Hi All, New to these forums, been doing a lot of reading on here and it's just wonderful to find so many helpful posts. Reinforces that I am in the right spot. I just wanted to share a few of my ramblings, if for nothing other than to get them out of my head. First, I don't know exactly how to place my husband...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Mine is non existent which is better than when it was alcohol fueled and demeaning. Just wondering if that is the norm.

peacewithin · peacewithin

My AH smells so bad from his drinking I can't stand it any more. I work at a hospital and can take them smells but at home it seems to effect me more. He smokes outside but that bugs me too. The kids are older and out of school now but when they were in school they would want me to go with them coz dad smells t...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi All, I miss being here more often! But, I'm grateful for this forum. I have maintained a weekly meeting, sometimes two. Tonight I am going to put my best efforts into attending my second meeting this week! My AH (sober as of May 18), if you remember, has abandoned his meetings/program. Not drink...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My AH is in rehab and I am now living with a friend who I have had for many years. Little did I know that she is an alcoholic as well. I am surrounded by sick people but I now understand why. It is my character qualities as well as defects that have led me to the life I now have. All these sick people around me...

Pushka · Pushka

I messed up really bad .. I don't know what else to call it outside of my stuff here on the site was read. I shouldn't have disclosed so much on the site, I don't know how to talk any other way. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 9, I grew up thinking everyone talked this way and this is how we talked at h...

amills4294 · amills4294

feel like I should post as part of my recovery process. I couldn't get to my normal face to face meeting last night and I couldn't attend online either. Maybe tonight. My spouse and I are still separated. We did have a good holiday with our daughter and respective families. In isolated moments lik...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Was on vacation last week, no internet or phone use so am now getting caught up. When my AH agreed to go on vacation with my family months ago he was happy and excited about it. Well, within minutes of getting to our destination last week he was awful. Complained the whole time, said he didn't want to be th...

KimK · KimK

So, I am taking a bath, and my husband decides that we need to talk. So, I ask him about what and he starts rattling off problems.. I lost my cool for a short moment....nothing extreme. I believe he wants me to quit school. He makes Plenty of money, but is making me feel guilty about bills. We have no extra bi...

lookingup · lookingup

i tend to at times or most times when he is sober get all wrapped up in him cause i love him so much,but i do indeed need to work on my own happiness and like my freind told me the other day that i do need to not stop what im been doing before he came back into my life like going to church and visiting with my freinds...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Every day I write a gratitude list. My sponsor suggested this quite a while ago which of course filled me with resentment! So everyday is an opportunity to give thanks. A lot has shifted for me since then. Suggestions can sometimes be pretty hard to implement but I'm very glad I finally got to do thi...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Rodney and I corresponded fairly frequently over the last year since I joined MIP. I am really saddened by his passing. I have spent some time this morning reading through his private messages to me and there is so much wisdom and serenity there, and I wanted to share some of what he offered me here to eve...

CamaroGirl · CamaroGirl

So ABF is in recovery and has been out of rehab 10 days. He really hasn't been alone because he's not been comfortable enough with himself. So tomorrow is his first day back to work. He is a nervous wreck because he will have to pass two liquor stores twice tomorrow. I have faith he can do it without sto...

richie · richie

hello all. this is my second attempt to open a conversation - my first post was flagged as spam... anyways i'll start with good morning :). i've been attending alanon for a couple of months now. i think that my brother may have a drinking/drugging problem. there's not much information about sibling...

PLEASE READ! NEW MEMBER INTRODUCTION · KARMA

I begin this introduction with a sad face because that's how I feel right now, sad and worried. I've recently come to realize that my 31 year old son is an alcoholic. He drinks because he has social phobia. He tries quitting, only to start again. He is very lonely, but is extremely shy without alcoh...

pepodwyer · pepodwyer

Hello, I'm Laurie D. I have posted here before only once or twice. I have an alcoholic brother who lives in Japan. We pretty much have had no communication for over a year, when he came for my younger brother's funeral. My younger brother was 40 and died of menengitis. It was tragic, because he seeme...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi, I am fairly new here and as I described in an earlier post, I have an Active A, my husband. Each day is up and down, one day good, one day horrible. It went that way this holiday weekend. AH and I went to a friends house for Thanksgiving. They drank a lot of beer, but it went ok. No tempers flared. Next...

_heather_ · _heather_

I think I have decided to completely remove myself and give my AH time for his own recovery. I don't think I am ready to really accept everything that comes along with the disease. It is so hard for me but I think it might be what's best. It hurts to walk away especially after everything that I have been th...

KimK · KimK

This one has been following me around for many years....Every time I read it, something new jumps out at me...I can be in the best of moods, and read this, and I cry....always....Lately, though, its been a healing cry....Maybe...acceptance??? I just know that this one always gets to me.. The Pain S...

Debilyn · Debilyn

All I asked was if she intended to keep MY deceased husbands last name. I got back a message full of typical A stuff. So I just answered in good Al Anon fashion. Was fun using my tools. ex. OH that would be how an A tries to get the attention off them. mmm most A's do not relate to how non A's can take med. and not b...

atheos · atheos

It's been several months since my first, tearful "I don't think Al-Anon can work for me because I'm an atheist" post. I'm glad I stayed. I didn't find religion, and nobody tried to make me. Instead, I found human potential. There is so much badness in the world that it is easy to forget how muc...

MrsHennepope · MrsHennepope

I wish I was posting from a happy place this morning but that's not how my day started out My AH works nights so he sleeps till mid afternoon on Saturdays.This morning I found the typical mess in the kitchen,beer bottles and remnants of food he prepared for himself which I'm used to.Then I heard him get u...

rehprof · rehprof

i am a single mom, in the process of divorcing my AH, have 2 kids 9 and 15. I work 60+ hours a week and try to keep the household running. this morning I am feeling overwhelmed and very alone. I have mountains of work facing me at home and at work, and honestly i just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. I don'...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Haven't been here in a while, and have found the longer I am away the harder it is to come back because I have so much to say! Then, twice now, I finally wrote my post, hit an unknown control and deleted it all. Aaahhhh! Work, kids, and pure exhaustion pretty much sum up why I haven't been here, though every s...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting this morning, November 28. My father is in emergency at the hospital and I will be with him. Sorry for the short notice. Hoping someone will step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks, Shimo/aka Jeri

Pushka · Pushka

I'm really struggling with my AH and his attitude at the moment. The only thing I can think is he really thought the trip wasn't going to happen and I asked for a suitcase that is some place I have NO idea where. I got hit with his attitude. It was like being physically back handed. I booked a flight from...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife invited me to attend an AA meeting while we were up with her family for the holiday. It was an amazing experience and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason, attending this meeting really helped bring a lot into focus for me. We had a very n...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had Thanksgiving at my house yesterday and invited my exAH. I had it later in the day and I had invited my best friend and her baby too, but I was sick and she didn't want to chance her lil guy getting sick. So my 13 year old and I prepared a stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean cassero...

Mr44 · Mr44

New to this. Wife is in rehab 3rd time in 18 mos. This has torn the family apart. I am worried when she comes home again. Her drink is vodka and hard to detect. I typically react in a negative way. She drinks to pass out. Any help out there.

oldergal · oldergal

I once met a man who was raised in a village of 100 or so people. This village was a 20 min airplane ride from any town, by boat it was a little longer. I met him when he was trying to get sober. He said he had been drinking since he was 10 yrs old, and was now in his late 50's. a short guy with a permanent smile on his...

lookingup · lookingup

me and my a r back together for real now he has cut down on his alcohol still drinks everynight just cut back on how much but still theres that changed behavior in him the other personality comes out ,the mouthy one he is trying soo hard to do right and is doing good he wants us to make it work so much as i do also...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel like I might post too much sometimes but the way I am I have so much to say. I almost always feel better when I post. Sometimes I don't feel that way in meetings & I have attended thousands of meetings. Today is a good day! Always tired but getting a lot accomplished! I spent my morning getting eve...

atheos · atheos

Just got to spend this afternoon with mine after not seeing her for a while... it was like receiving a serenity transfusion! Life feels much less overwhelming than it did this morning.

tired of trying · tired of trying

My husband is sober right now-partially due to a court order. He goes to meetings but his thinking/behavior is so erratic it almost seems like he has a form of dementia-we've been together for over 35 years-through good times and bad but this not knowing is hard. He also has high blood pressure and has s...

John · John

On another MIP board there was a question asking how and when does someone forgive themselves, for sometimes that is a struggle for us. I was asked by another double winner to place my reply to that question on this board because they felt more people needed to read it... so here it is. ****************...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

My mom told me about an amazing TED talk today, and I got so much out of this video that I wanted to share it with people here. It's about gratitude, and I understand that we should seek to be thankful about something every day, so this was a good reminder for me today... I hope you enjoy it too. See: http://...

Generic Writer · Generic Writer

http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/

danni · danni

I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...

souljoy · souljoy

My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...

oldergal · oldergal

I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...

odalis · odalis

Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...

Jes · Jes

Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...

CamaroGirl · CamaroGirl

I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...

jamfu · jamfu

I feel terrible right now

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Family Guilt trips (Preview) Every year my family of origin and my dad's extended family particpates in a Christmas gift exchange. Names are drawn and a $50 gift is exchanged. This year I have told the family due to my family circumstances and all that is going on in my life I would like to bow out and not participate. You would thin...	amills4294	6	732	Nov 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	decision made to do no decision making (Preview) My decision today is to make no decision today until my roomate kicks me out this may be my answer every day to whether you not I should live with my AH when he gets out of rehab.. also my answer to whether we get a divorce if the mayhem continues I think I will know what to do when I know what to do. Also a dear fri...	Michelle814	4	325	Nov 30, 2011 by sookie
	Need some ESH (Preview) So many months ago, during a heated "discussion" about my AH's drinking, I informed him in what I felt was a calm, non-judgmental way that I was not willing to buy beer for him. To his credit, he has respected this boundary, and has never asked me to pick up a 12-pack with the groceries, etc. N...	stephaniej	7	508	Nov 30, 2011 by stephaniej
	Help! Desperate Emergency (Preview) Things have been rockly lately. AH has been having wild mood swings, things have not been stable. When I got home from work last night I walked into an complete melt down from him. He said he was upset because he hadn't finished dinner for me, the grill ran out of gas, and he couldn't get a cardboard box ta...	surfgirl123	9	945	Nov 30, 2011 by Michelle814
	I'm not sure (Preview) Last week was a tough week. Monday night and Wednesday night I was catching the spiral of ugliness. Thursday morning I was getting ready for my race and my AH came in to the room. I looked at him and told him that just because he doesn't love himself doesn't mean that I don't love him and he can accept that or...	Jackie11	6	593	Nov 30, 2011 by pineapple
	Ok this PM program is messed up????? (Preview) Help! It says I have six messages, I don't. The writing is so small it is hard to read. What was wrong with how it was before? ????	Debilyn	5	392	Nov 30, 2011 by pineapple
	24 year old son - 1 year of rehab/AA - then relapse (Preview) Our 24 year old son was "forced" into rehab by us almost 1 year ago, and came out 3 mos later the son we remembered. He appreciated AA, had a great sponsor and went 5 times a week. Then, 6 mos in a sober living house where he just went through the motions, declaring he was NOT an addict and didn'...	MamaBird	6	526	Nov 30, 2011 by canadianguy
	Recently discovered my husband is addicted to weed as well. (Preview) Do you ever wish you could put on a pair of magic glasses that would allow you to see the truth of your loved ones' addiction, and not just the lies they feed you about it or the scenarios you have in your own mind? I feel like I'm going crazy trying to understand the extent of my husband's addiction so that I c...	jessicat	12	2990	Nov 30, 2011 by jessicat
	yes I'm still here.... (Preview) Haven't posted in a while... But I've still been reading... Hanging in there. Day by day.. So during november I had set a boundry that if my A doesn't pay his part of the bills then he needs to leave.... Well his pay day came and wouldn't ya know it he was high for 5 days straight... 1000 bucks gone in a day......	kris10	11	574	Nov 30, 2011 by orchidlover
	Mom was sober for months, not anymore relapse mom parent dad family (Preview) I'm totally new here but this stuff exasperates me sometimes. I worked with my mom for years and she got SO much better and didn't drink for months at a time. Now, every 2-3 days, she comes home in the early afternoon slurring her words and apparently thinks it doesn't bother my dad and I. And when this...	zeninator	11	9802	Nov 30, 2011 by zeninator
	I am so excited & I just can't hide it! (Preview) Party plans at 3 pm. Wish all of you could be there--most everything is done--just have to set-up & show up! And, make sure my friend Tammy is there! I think I am officially a party planner--now all I have to do is learn how to frost a cake now that I know I can bake one--inside joke! For anyone who doesn...	Hoot Nanny	6	4827	Nov 30, 2011 by stephaniej
	RLC - Has Passed Away - please read ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hello, my name is Melissa and most of you know that I work with RLC. We go to meetings together and he was a great person. He passed last night at around 1030pm. It is a shock to everyone. We are all grieving at this loss because many of you know what a wonderful and giving person he was. I wanted to let you all k...	MDK	49	6060	Nov 30, 2011 by Michelle814
	Losing the love...Detaching...Reality (Preview) Hi All, New to these forums, been doing a lot of reading on here and it's just wonderful to find so many helpful posts. Reinforces that I am in the right spot. I just wanted to share a few of my ramblings, if for nothing other than to get them out of my head. First, I don't know exactly how to place my husband...	mehere80	11	648	Nov 30, 2011 by Michelle814
	How has alcoholism affected your sex life? (Preview) Mine is non existent which is better than when it was alcohol fueled and demeaning. Just wondering if that is the norm.	tired of trying	20	948	Nov 30, 2011 by tired of trying
	How Do You Live With This (Preview) My AH smells so bad from his drinking I can't stand it any more. I work at a hospital and can take them smells but at home it seems to effect me more. He smokes outside but that bugs me too. The kids are older and out of school now but when they were in school they would want me to go with them coz dad smells t...	peacewithin	6	453	Nov 30, 2011 by peacewithin
	Still plugging away (Preview) Hi All, I miss being here more often! But, I'm grateful for this forum. I have maintained a weekly meeting, sometimes two. Tonight I am going to put my best efforts into attending my second meeting this week! My AH (sober as of May 18), if you remember, has abandoned his meetings/program. Not drink...	KLotus	4	490	Nov 30, 2011 by Doozy
	Growing and Changing, ODAAT (Preview) My AH is in rehab and I am now living with a friend who I have had for many years. Little did I know that she is an alcoholic as well. I am surrounded by sick people but I now understand why. It is my character qualities as well as defects that have led me to the life I now have. All these sick people around me...	Michelle814	4	362	Nov 30, 2011 by Doozy
	I messed up ... (Preview) I messed up really bad .. I don't know what else to call it outside of my stuff here on the site was read. I shouldn't have disclosed so much on the site, I don't know how to talk any other way. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 9, I grew up thinking everyone talked this way and this is how we talked at h...	Pushka	13	700	Nov 30, 2011 by Doozy
	Still here. ODAT (Preview) feel like I should post as part of my recovery process. I couldn't get to my normal face to face meeting last night and I couldn't attend online either. Maybe tonight. My spouse and I are still separated. We did have a good holiday with our daughter and respective families. In isolated moments lik...	amills4294	5	474	Nov 29, 2011 by GreenerGrass
	Vacation - Anything But! (Preview) Was on vacation last week, no internet or phone use so am now getting caught up. When my AH agreed to go on vacation with my family months ago he was happy and excited about it. Well, within minutes of getting to our destination last week he was awful. Complained the whole time, said he didn't want to be th...	surfgirl123	3	339	Nov 29, 2011 by KimK
	he has a heart? (Preview) So, I am taking a bath, and my husband decides that we need to talk. So, I ask him about what and he starts rattling off problems.. I lost my cool for a short moment....nothing extreme. I believe he wants me to quit school. He makes Plenty of money, but is making me feel guilty about bills. We have no extra bi...	KimK	7	591	Nov 29, 2011 by KimK
	thanx for the esh,i did indeed need it, (Preview) i tend to at times or most times when he is sober get all wrapped up in him cause i love him so much,but i do indeed need to work on my own happiness and like my freind told me the other day that i do need to not stop what im been doing before he came back into my life like going to church and visiting with my freinds...	lookingup	2	428	Nov 29, 2011 by orchidlover
	Thankfullness every day (Preview) Every day I write a gratitude list. My sponsor suggested this quite a while ago which of course filled me with resentment! So everyday is an opportunity to give thanks. A lot has shifted for me since then. Suggestions can sometimes be pretty hard to implement but I'm very glad I finally got to do thi...	orchidlover	7	657	Nov 29, 2011 by orchidlover
	What Rodney taught me (Preview) Rodney and I corresponded fairly frequently over the last year since I joined MIP. I am really saddened by his passing. I have spent some time this morning reading through his private messages to me and there is so much wisdom and serenity there, and I wanted to share some of what he offered me here to eve...	usedtobeanyer	8	590	Nov 29, 2011 by orchidlover
	His first day back to work (Preview) So ABF is in recovery and has been out of rehab 10 days. He really hasn't been alone because he's not been comfortable enough with himself. So tomorrow is his first day back to work. He is a nervous wreck because he will have to pass two liquor stores twice tomorrow. I have faith he can do it without sto...	CamaroGirl	4	398	Nov 29, 2011 by CamaroGirl
	o brother (Preview) hello all. this is my second attempt to open a conversation - my first post was flagged as spam... anyways i'll start with good morning :). i've been attending alanon for a couple of months now. i think that my brother may have a drinking/drugging problem. there's not much information about sibling...	richie	10	483	Nov 29, 2011 by richie
	PLEASE READ! NEW MEMBER INTRODUCTION (Preview) I begin this introduction with a sad face because that's how I feel right now, sad and worried. I've recently come to realize that my 31 year old son is an alcoholic. He drinks because he has social phobia. He tries quitting, only to start again. He is very lonely, but is extremely shy without alcoh...	KARMA	9	757	Nov 29, 2011 by KARMA
	Hello (Preview) Hello, I'm Laurie D. I have posted here before only once or twice. I have an alcoholic brother who lives in Japan. We pretty much have had no communication for over a year, when he came for my younger brother's funeral. My younger brother was 40 and died of menengitis. It was tragic, because he seeme...	pepodwyer	2	504	Nov 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	I confronted my parents (Preview) Hi, I am fairly new here and as I described in an earlier post, I have an Active A, my husband. Each day is up and down, one day good, one day horrible. It went that way this holiday weekend. AH and I went to a friends house for Thanksgiving. They drank a lot of beer, but it went ok. No tempers flared. Next...	Minaret	6	662	Nov 28, 2011 by danni
	Separation Anxiety (Preview) I think I have decided to completely remove myself and give my AH time for his own recovery. I don't think I am ready to really accept everything that comes along with the disease. It is so hard for me but I think it might be what's best. It hurts to walk away especially after everything that I have been th...	_heather_	9	709	Nov 28, 2011 by Michelle814
	The Pain Stops when... (Preview) This one has been following me around for many years....Every time I read it, something new jumps out at me...I can be in the best of moods, and read this, and I cry....always....Lately, though, its been a healing cry....Maybe...acceptance??? I just know that this one always gets to me.. The Pain S...	KimK	12	1152	Nov 28, 2011 by skinnyme40
	Confronting EX DIL A, nasty little pill she is (Preview) All I asked was if she intended to keep MY deceased husbands last name. I got back a message full of typical A stuff. So I just answered in good Al Anon fashion. Was fun using my tools. ex. OH that would be how an A tries to get the attention off them. mmm most A's do not relate to how non A's can take med. and not b...	Debilyn	0	795	Nov 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	Random Al-Anon atheist musings (Preview) It's been several months since my first, tearful "I don't think Al-Anon can work for me because I'm an atheist" post. I'm glad I stayed. I didn't find religion, and nobody tried to make me. Instead, I found human potential. There is so much badness in the world that it is easy to forget how muc...	atheos	7	1405	Nov 28, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Bad Morning (Preview) I wish I was posting from a happy place this morning but that's not how my day started out My AH works nights so he sleeps till mid afternoon on Saturdays.This morning I found the typical mess in the kitchen,beer bottles and remnants of food he prepared for himself which I'm used to.Then I heard him get u...	MrsHennepope	15	819	Nov 28, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	got no bootstraps (Preview) i am a single mom, in the process of divorcing my AH, have 2 kids 9 and 15. I work 60+ hours a week and try to keep the household running. this morning I am feeling overwhelmed and very alone. I have mountains of work facing me at home and at work, and honestly i just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. I don'...	rehprof	11	641	Nov 28, 2011 by stephaniej
	Wow... cause I have no idea what else to call this (Preview) Haven't been here in a while, and have found the longer I am away the harder it is to come back because I have so much to say! Then, twice now, I finally wrote my post, hit an unknown control and deleted it all. Aaahhhh! Work, kids, and pure exhaustion pretty much sum up why I haven't been here, though every s...	Loupiness	2	429	Nov 28, 2011 by GailMichelle
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting this morning, November 28. My father is in emergency at the hospital and I will be with him. Sorry for the short notice. Hoping someone will step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks, Shimo/aka Jeri	shimo	0	314	Nov 28, 2011 by shimo
	Pre trip stress (Preview) I'm really struggling with my AH and his attitude at the moment. The only thing I can think is he really thought the trip wasn't going to happen and I asked for a suitcase that is some place I have NO idea where. I got hit with his attitude. It was like being physically back handed. I booked a flight from...	Pushka	7	688	Nov 28, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Went to my first AA meeting (Preview) My wife invited me to attend an AA meeting while we were up with her family for the holiday. It was an amazing experience and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason, attending this meeting really helped bring a lot into focus for me. We had a very n...	usedtobeanyer	7	691	Nov 28, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	My Thanksgiving (Preview) I had Thanksgiving at my house yesterday and invited my exAH. I had it later in the day and I had invited my best friend and her baby too, but I was sick and she didn't want to chance her lil guy getting sick. So my 13 year old and I prepared a stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean cassero...	Breakingfree	6	481	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Relapse U (Preview) New to this. Wife is in rehab 3rd time in 18 mos. This has torn the family apart. I am worried when she comes home again. Her drink is vodka and hard to detect. I typically react in a negative way. She drinks to pass out. Any help out there.	Mr44	9	733	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	A TRUE STORY...... (Preview) I once met a man who was raised in a village of 100 or so people. This village was a 20 min airplane ride from any town, by boat it was a little longer. I met him when he was trying to get sober. He said he had been drinking since he was 10 yrs old, and was now in his late 50's. a short guy with a permanent smile on his...	oldergal	6	742	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	hello alanon freinds,heres my update (Preview) me and my a r back together for real now he has cut down on his alcohol still drinks everynight just cut back on how much but still theres that changed behavior in him the other personality comes out ,the mouthy one he is trying soo hard to do right and is doing good he wants us to make it work so much as i do also...	lookingup	3	440	Nov 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	it seems like I am ALWAYS posting! (Preview) I feel like I might post too much sometimes but the way I am I have so much to say. I almost always feel better when I post. Sometimes I don't feel that way in meetings & I have attended thousands of meetings. Today is a good day! Always tired but getting a lot accomplished! I spent my morning getting eve...	Hoot Nanny	3	817	Nov 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sponsors are wonderful (Preview) Just got to spend this afternoon with mine after not seeing her for a while... it was like receiving a serenity transfusion! Life feels much less overwhelming than it did this morning.	atheos	4	421	Nov 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	What is your Experience with Dry Drunks (Preview) My husband is sober right now-partially due to a court order. He goes to meetings but his thinking/behavior is so erratic it almost seems like he has a form of dementia-we've been together for over 35 years-through good times and bad but this not knowing is hard. He also has high blood pressure and has s...	tired of trying	14	735	Nov 27, 2011 by tired of trying
	Self Forgiveness... (Preview) On another MIP board there was a question asking how and when does someone forgive themselves, for sometimes that is a struggle for us. I was asked by another double winner to place my reply to that question on this board because they felt more people needed to read it... so here it is. ****************...	John	5	1210	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	Something I want to share about Gratitude (Preview) My mom told me about an amazing TED talk today, and I got so much out of this video that I wanted to share it with people here. It's about gratitude, and I understand that we should seek to be thankful about something every day, so this was a good reminder for me today... I hope you enjoy it too. See: http://...	ladysoblue	3	2714	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	The 12 Things I Learned In Al-Anon... (Preview) http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/	Generic Writer	5	991	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	Feeling sad (Preview) I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...	danni	6	613	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Choosing to be alone for Thanksgiving (Preview) My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...	Breakingfree	7	520	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sigh (Preview) My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...	souljoy	3	486	Nov 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Here we are again (and again and again) (Preview) So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...	ladysoblue	6	707	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sad Email From My Son on Thanksgiving (Preview) I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...	oldergal	10	807	Nov 26, 2011 by Loupiness
	is there a such thing as too much "caring about yourself" (Preview) Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...	odalis	11	674	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Alcoholic Partner Sober 8 days in AA. Can I ask them if they had a drink (day 9) or?? (Preview) Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...	Jes	12	768	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here (Preview) I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...	CamaroGirl	11	464	Nov 26, 2011 by CamaroGirl
	ANOTHER SPIRITUAL AWAKENING! (Preview) I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...	Hoot Nanny	3	709	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	metaphysical law of attraction (Preview) metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...	Lindaoakford	6	4424	Nov 26, 2011 by souljoy
	alone (Preview) I feel terrible right now	jamfu	8	430	Nov 25, 2011 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.