Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Pushka · Pushka

I'm really struggling with my AH and his attitude at the moment. The only thing I can think is he really thought the trip wasn't going to happen and I asked for a suitcase that is some place I have NO idea where. I got hit with his attitude. It was like being physically back handed. I booked a flight from...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife invited me to attend an AA meeting while we were up with her family for the holiday. It was an amazing experience and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason, attending this meeting really helped bring a lot into focus for me. We had a very n...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had Thanksgiving at my house yesterday and invited my exAH. I had it later in the day and I had invited my best friend and her baby too, but I was sick and she didn't want to chance her lil guy getting sick. So my 13 year old and I prepared a stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean cassero...

Mr44 · Mr44

New to this. Wife is in rehab 3rd time in 18 mos. This has torn the family apart. I am worried when she comes home again. Her drink is vodka and hard to detect. I typically react in a negative way. She drinks to pass out. Any help out there.

oldergal · oldergal

I once met a man who was raised in a village of 100 or so people. This village was a 20 min airplane ride from any town, by boat it was a little longer. I met him when he was trying to get sober. He said he had been drinking since he was 10 yrs old, and was now in his late 50's. a short guy with a permanent smile on his...

lookingup · lookingup

me and my a r back together for real now he has cut down on his alcohol still drinks everynight just cut back on how much but still theres that changed behavior in him the other personality comes out ,the mouthy one he is trying soo hard to do right and is doing good he wants us to make it work so much as i do also...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel like I might post too much sometimes but the way I am I have so much to say. I almost always feel better when I post. Sometimes I don't feel that way in meetings & I have attended thousands of meetings. Today is a good day! Always tired but getting a lot accomplished! I spent my morning getting eve...

atheos · atheos

Just got to spend this afternoon with mine after not seeing her for a while... it was like receiving a serenity transfusion! Life feels much less overwhelming than it did this morning.

tired of trying · tired of trying

My husband is sober right now-partially due to a court order. He goes to meetings but his thinking/behavior is so erratic it almost seems like he has a form of dementia-we've been together for over 35 years-through good times and bad but this not knowing is hard. He also has high blood pressure and has s...

John · John

On another MIP board there was a question asking how and when does someone forgive themselves, for sometimes that is a struggle for us. I was asked by another double winner to place my reply to that question on this board because they felt more people needed to read it... so here it is. ****************...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

My mom told me about an amazing TED talk today, and I got so much out of this video that I wanted to share it with people here. It's about gratitude, and I understand that we should seek to be thankful about something every day, so this was a good reminder for me today... I hope you enjoy it too. See: http://...

Generic Writer · Generic Writer

http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/

danni · danni

I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...

souljoy · souljoy

My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...

oldergal · oldergal

I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...

odalis · odalis

Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...

Jes · Jes

Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...

CamaroGirl · CamaroGirl

I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...

jamfu · jamfu

I feel terrible right now

mrw60 · mrw60

I don't know what to do. My mother is an alcoholic and I don't know how to help her. She's 68 years old, weighs less than 100lbs and when she goes on binges will kill a 12-pack in a couple of hours. This has been going on for 10 years. It used to only happen every couple of months and just started becoming mo...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

My daughter is a serious addict and has very little waking time during the days and she has 3 small children, 1 4yr and 2 5yr olds. She had no electric and heat for several weeks, Because it was getting so cold I called DFS. According to the worker, I was not alone. My daughter and her children were miss...

rosielee · rosielee

that alcoholics are basically inept people- defunct and incapable of relationships that are healthy and nurturing- (well- in my experience that is) and when the result of this manifests itself...they go on the attack. its not really the fact that youve left your cereal bowl out and havent washed...

tlynna · tlynna

Hi all. Thanksgiving is coming, ready or not. Give me strength to be strong and ensure that I don't contribute to any imbibing on the part of my AH. How does one weigh keeping the peace (being an enabler) versus standing strong (resulting in his anger perhaps directed at others, ruining their holid...

Lily wife · Lily wife

okay- I need some advice! My husband use to drink A LOT, but has lately "cut back". We have been together for 9 years and just got married in September. He's always making comments that make me feel as though he doesn't like his lifestyle now (even before we got married). We've had NUMEROUS ar...

danni · danni

so my ah just woke up hung over. I was expecting it. I had a nice morning with my kids. I was prepared to detatch from it. I did my readings. Made a phone call. I was READY. Then I heard his stuffy voice and smelled the air in the bedroom and all my empathy and understanding just went out the window. si...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm missing RLC today...saw a couple of guys around my work today that reminded me of him facially. I felt more gratitude than sadness and then still there was some reality we won't be sharing a phone call anytime soon. But Wait!! my HP is cunning, powerful and baffling!! I'll just stay with the tho...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I want to say welcome to the newbies. I wish I could write individual welcomes to everyone. Please do know you are so welcome and I appreciate learning from everyone here! Wow, the holidays are a crazy time. This is my first set of holidays after beginning Alanon. I am no longer with my qualifier...

oldergal · oldergal

I want to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Please don't feel alone. I too will probably be alone, I have texted my A-Son and sent him 2 emails, but still have not heard from him. I will go ahead and cook turkey because I love to eat turkey and have leftovers. I know for sure I am growing in character and sel...

tommyecat · tommyecat

To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...

Pushka · Pushka

Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...

nyc018 · nyc018

I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...

atheos · atheos

Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair.

...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...

amills4294 · amills4294

Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...

RLC · RLC

The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC

Minaret · Minaret

Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...

ythannah · ythannah

ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...

_heather_ · _heather_

How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...

jualias · jualias

Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...

Little White Bunny · Little White Bunny

I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...

Jozie · Jozie

As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...

funkyswimgrl · funkyswimgrl

My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM

Tracy · Tracy

I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...

atheos · atheos

Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Pre trip stress (Preview) I'm really struggling with my AH and his attitude at the moment. The only thing I can think is he really thought the trip wasn't going to happen and I asked for a suitcase that is some place I have NO idea where. I got hit with his attitude. It was like being physically back handed. I booked a flight from...	Pushka	7	633	Nov 28, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Went to my first AA meeting (Preview) My wife invited me to attend an AA meeting while we were up with her family for the holiday. It was an amazing experience and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason, attending this meeting really helped bring a lot into focus for me. We had a very n...	usedtobeanyer	7	642	Nov 28, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	My Thanksgiving (Preview) I had Thanksgiving at my house yesterday and invited my exAH. I had it later in the day and I had invited my best friend and her baby too, but I was sick and she didn't want to chance her lil guy getting sick. So my 13 year old and I prepared a stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean cassero...	Breakingfree	6	429	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Relapse U (Preview) New to this. Wife is in rehab 3rd time in 18 mos. This has torn the family apart. I am worried when she comes home again. Her drink is vodka and hard to detect. I typically react in a negative way. She drinks to pass out. Any help out there.	Mr44	9	663	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	A TRUE STORY...... (Preview) I once met a man who was raised in a village of 100 or so people. This village was a 20 min airplane ride from any town, by boat it was a little longer. I met him when he was trying to get sober. He said he had been drinking since he was 10 yrs old, and was now in his late 50's. a short guy with a permanent smile on his...	oldergal	6	688	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	hello alanon freinds,heres my update (Preview) me and my a r back together for real now he has cut down on his alcohol still drinks everynight just cut back on how much but still theres that changed behavior in him the other personality comes out ,the mouthy one he is trying soo hard to do right and is doing good he wants us to make it work so much as i do also...	lookingup	3	388	Nov 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	it seems like I am ALWAYS posting! (Preview) I feel like I might post too much sometimes but the way I am I have so much to say. I almost always feel better when I post. Sometimes I don't feel that way in meetings & I have attended thousands of meetings. Today is a good day! Always tired but getting a lot accomplished! I spent my morning getting eve...	Hoot Nanny	3	763	Nov 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sponsors are wonderful (Preview) Just got to spend this afternoon with mine after not seeing her for a while... it was like receiving a serenity transfusion! Life feels much less overwhelming than it did this morning.	atheos	4	368	Nov 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	What is your Experience with Dry Drunks (Preview) My husband is sober right now-partially due to a court order. He goes to meetings but his thinking/behavior is so erratic it almost seems like he has a form of dementia-we've been together for over 35 years-through good times and bad but this not knowing is hard. He also has high blood pressure and has s...	tired of trying	14	678	Nov 27, 2011 by tired of trying
	Self Forgiveness... (Preview) On another MIP board there was a question asking how and when does someone forgive themselves, for sometimes that is a struggle for us. I was asked by another double winner to place my reply to that question on this board because they felt more people needed to read it... so here it is. ****************...	John	5	1156	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	Something I want to share about Gratitude (Preview) My mom told me about an amazing TED talk today, and I got so much out of this video that I wanted to share it with people here. It's about gratitude, and I understand that we should seek to be thankful about something every day, so this was a good reminder for me today... I hope you enjoy it too. See: http://...	ladysoblue	3	2523	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	The 12 Things I Learned In Al-Anon... (Preview) http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/	Generic Writer	5	934	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	Feeling sad (Preview) I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...	danni	6	556	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Choosing to be alone for Thanksgiving (Preview) My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...	Breakingfree	7	467	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sigh (Preview) My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...	souljoy	3	429	Nov 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Here we are again (and again and again) (Preview) So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...	ladysoblue	6	653	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sad Email From My Son on Thanksgiving (Preview) I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...	oldergal	10	750	Nov 26, 2011 by Loupiness
	is there a such thing as too much "caring about yourself" (Preview) Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...	odalis	11	615	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Alcoholic Partner Sober 8 days in AA. Can I ask them if they had a drink (day 9) or?? (Preview) Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...	Jes	12	715	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here (Preview) I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...	CamaroGirl	11	411	Nov 26, 2011 by CamaroGirl
	ANOTHER SPIRITUAL AWAKENING! (Preview) I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...	Hoot Nanny	3	655	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	metaphysical law of attraction (Preview) metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...	Lindaoakford	6	4058	Nov 26, 2011 by souljoy
	alone (Preview) I feel terrible right now	jamfu	8	371	Nov 25, 2011 by Breakingfree
	crying for two days (Preview) I don't know what to do. My mother is an alcoholic and I don't know how to help her. She's 68 years old, weighs less than 100lbs and when she goes on binges will kill a 12-pack in a couple of hours. This has been going on for 10 years. It used to only happen every couple of months and just started becoming mo...	mrw60	12	512	Nov 25, 2011 by zeninator
	My Addict daughter with 3 small children - Update (Preview) My daughter is a serious addict and has very little waking time during the days and she has 3 small children, 1 4yr and 2 5yr olds. She had no electric and heat for several weeks, Because it was getting so cold I called DFS. According to the worker, I was not alone. My daughter and her children were miss...	mdkm0726	8	601	Nov 25, 2011 by pinkchip
	i get it now (Preview) that alcoholics are basically inept people- defunct and incapable of relationships that are healthy and nurturing- (well- in my experience that is) and when the result of this manifests itself...they go on the attack. its not really the fact that youve left your cereal bowl out and havent washed...	rosielee	8	445	Nov 25, 2011 by rosielee
	Loving my AH this Thanksgiving (Preview) Hi all. Thanksgiving is coming, ready or not. Give me strength to be strong and ensure that I don't contribute to any imbibing on the part of my AH. How does one weigh keeping the peace (being an enabler) versus standing strong (resulting in his anger perhaps directed at others, ruining their holid...	tlynna	6	620	Nov 25, 2011 by tired of trying
	husband's lieing about drinking (Preview) okay- I need some advice! My husband use to drink A LOT, but has lately "cut back". We have been together for 9 years and just got married in September. He's always making comments that make me feel as though he doesn't like his lifestyle now (even before we got married). We've had NUMEROUS ar...	Lily wife	15	647	Nov 25, 2011 by tired of trying
	another hangover this morning (Preview) so my ah just woke up hung over. I was expecting it. I had a nice morning with my kids. I was prepared to detatch from it. I did my readings. Made a phone call. I was READY. Then I heard his stuffy voice and smelled the air in the bedroom and all my empathy and understanding just went out the window. si...	danni	6	367	Nov 25, 2011 by danni
	Missing Rod... (Preview) I'm missing RLC today...saw a couple of guys around my work today that reminded me of him facially. I felt more gratitude than sadness and then still there was some reality we won't be sharing a phone call anytime soon. But Wait!! my HP is cunning, powerful and baffling!! I'll just stay with the tho...	Jerry F	11	584	Nov 25, 2011 by lacewing
	irritated (Preview) Hi all, I want to say welcome to the newbies. I wish I could write individual welcomes to everyone. Please do know you are so welcome and I appreciate learning from everyone here! Wow, the holidays are a crazy time. This is my first set of holidays after beginning Alanon. I am no longer with my qualifier...	Doozy	11	617	Nov 25, 2011 by Doozy
	For All Those Alone This Thanksgiving (Preview) I want to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Please don't feel alone. I too will probably be alone, I have texted my A-Son and sent him 2 emails, but still have not heard from him. I will go ahead and cook turkey because I love to eat turkey and have leftovers. I know for sure I am growing in character and sel...	oldergal	15	469	Nov 24, 2011 by oldergal
	Happy Thanksgiving (Preview) To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...	tommyecat	8	529	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gratitude Meeting :) (Preview) Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...	Pushka	2	432	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thanksgiving Musings (Preview) My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...	likemyheart	13	571	Nov 24, 2011 by likemyheart
	Did I overreact - family boundaries (Preview) I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...	nyc018	6	471	Nov 24, 2011 by danni
	Empty... (Preview) I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......	shellyj123	15	536	Nov 24, 2011 by John
	Thanksgiving wine (or maybe whine) (Preview) I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...	Very Very Tired	8	569	Nov 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sometimes manure makes flowers grow (Preview) Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair. ...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...	atheos	5	590	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	the holidays (Preview) Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...	amills4294	6	544	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	How To Lead A Full Life ? (Preview) The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC	RLC	12	1141	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	Feeling lost and isolated (Preview) Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...	Minaret	11	427	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Help, I'm on rock bottom (Preview) Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...	rara avis	18	772	Nov 23, 2011 by rara avis
	Holidays with alcohol around (Preview) Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...	oldgraduate	10	473	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Spinning (Preview) I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...	Jackie11	17	661	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Why Does Doing the "Right" Thing Have to be so Painful? (Preview) ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...	ythannah	8	562	Nov 23, 2011 by ythannah
	a new day has come! (Preview) It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...	Hoot Nanny	3	485	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Painful Time of the Year (Preview) Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...	Grace7	7	538	Nov 23, 2011 by Grace7
	psychologist (Preview) As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...	Lindaoakford	11	530	Nov 22, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Terrified, lost, sinking (Preview) Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...	ladysoblue	11	563	Nov 22, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Life changing decisions... (Preview) How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?	_heather_	11	446	Nov 22, 2011 by Pushka
	Keeping Distance to Keep Sanity separation sanity love let go let god (Preview) Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...	Michelle814	10	9773	Nov 22, 2011 by Michelle814
	Thank you (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...	looking_for_peace	5	303	Nov 22, 2011 by canadianguy
	First meeting - questions (Preview) Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...	jualias	8	713	Nov 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	hi I'm new here (Preview) I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...	Little White Bunny	5	613	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	acceptance vs. denial (Preview) My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...	DadtoCandE	5	1202	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Today I am Thankful... (Preview) As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...	Jozie	4	373	Nov 21, 2011 by Pushka
	speaker lists available? (Preview) My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM	funkyswimgrl	2	287	Nov 21, 2011 by funkyswimgrl
	no promises. (Preview) I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...	Tracy	5	557	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He loves me! (Preview) Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...	atheos	7	403	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.