Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

PLEASE READ! NEW MEMBER INTRODUCTION · KARMA

I begin this introduction with a sad face because that's how I feel right now, sad and worried. I've recently come to realize that my 31 year old son is an alcoholic. He drinks because he has social phobia. He tries quitting, only to start again. He is very lonely, but is extremely shy without alcoh...

pepodwyer · pepodwyer

Hello, I'm Laurie D. I have posted here before only once or twice. I have an alcoholic brother who lives in Japan. We pretty much have had no communication for over a year, when he came for my younger brother's funeral. My younger brother was 40 and died of menengitis. It was tragic, because he seeme...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi, I am fairly new here and as I described in an earlier post, I have an Active A, my husband. Each day is up and down, one day good, one day horrible. It went that way this holiday weekend. AH and I went to a friends house for Thanksgiving. They drank a lot of beer, but it went ok. No tempers flared. Next...

_heather_ · _heather_

I think I have decided to completely remove myself and give my AH time for his own recovery. I don't think I am ready to really accept everything that comes along with the disease. It is so hard for me but I think it might be what's best. It hurts to walk away especially after everything that I have been th...

KimK · KimK

This one has been following me around for many years....Every time I read it, something new jumps out at me...I can be in the best of moods, and read this, and I cry....always....Lately, though, its been a healing cry....Maybe...acceptance??? I just know that this one always gets to me.. The Pain S...

Debilyn · Debilyn

All I asked was if she intended to keep MY deceased husbands last name. I got back a message full of typical A stuff. So I just answered in good Al Anon fashion. Was fun using my tools. ex. OH that would be how an A tries to get the attention off them. mmm most A's do not relate to how non A's can take med. and not b...

atheos · atheos

It's been several months since my first, tearful "I don't think Al-Anon can work for me because I'm an atheist" post. I'm glad I stayed. I didn't find religion, and nobody tried to make me. Instead, I found human potential. There is so much badness in the world that it is easy to forget how muc...

MrsHennepope · MrsHennepope

I wish I was posting from a happy place this morning but that's not how my day started out My AH works nights so he sleeps till mid afternoon on Saturdays.This morning I found the typical mess in the kitchen,beer bottles and remnants of food he prepared for himself which I'm used to.Then I heard him get u...

rehprof · rehprof

i am a single mom, in the process of divorcing my AH, have 2 kids 9 and 15. I work 60+ hours a week and try to keep the household running. this morning I am feeling overwhelmed and very alone. I have mountains of work facing me at home and at work, and honestly i just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. I don'...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Haven't been here in a while, and have found the longer I am away the harder it is to come back because I have so much to say! Then, twice now, I finally wrote my post, hit an unknown control and deleted it all. Aaahhhh! Work, kids, and pure exhaustion pretty much sum up why I haven't been here, though every s...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting this morning, November 28. My father is in emergency at the hospital and I will be with him. Sorry for the short notice. Hoping someone will step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks, Shimo/aka Jeri

Pushka · Pushka

I'm really struggling with my AH and his attitude at the moment. The only thing I can think is he really thought the trip wasn't going to happen and I asked for a suitcase that is some place I have NO idea where. I got hit with his attitude. It was like being physically back handed. I booked a flight from...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife invited me to attend an AA meeting while we were up with her family for the holiday. It was an amazing experience and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason, attending this meeting really helped bring a lot into focus for me. We had a very n...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had Thanksgiving at my house yesterday and invited my exAH. I had it later in the day and I had invited my best friend and her baby too, but I was sick and she didn't want to chance her lil guy getting sick. So my 13 year old and I prepared a stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean cassero...

Mr44 · Mr44

New to this. Wife is in rehab 3rd time in 18 mos. This has torn the family apart. I am worried when she comes home again. Her drink is vodka and hard to detect. I typically react in a negative way. She drinks to pass out. Any help out there.

oldergal · oldergal

I once met a man who was raised in a village of 100 or so people. This village was a 20 min airplane ride from any town, by boat it was a little longer. I met him when he was trying to get sober. He said he had been drinking since he was 10 yrs old, and was now in his late 50's. a short guy with a permanent smile on his...

lookingup · lookingup

me and my a r back together for real now he has cut down on his alcohol still drinks everynight just cut back on how much but still theres that changed behavior in him the other personality comes out ,the mouthy one he is trying soo hard to do right and is doing good he wants us to make it work so much as i do also...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel like I might post too much sometimes but the way I am I have so much to say. I almost always feel better when I post. Sometimes I don't feel that way in meetings & I have attended thousands of meetings. Today is a good day! Always tired but getting a lot accomplished! I spent my morning getting eve...

atheos · atheos

Just got to spend this afternoon with mine after not seeing her for a while... it was like receiving a serenity transfusion! Life feels much less overwhelming than it did this morning.

tired of trying · tired of trying

My husband is sober right now-partially due to a court order. He goes to meetings but his thinking/behavior is so erratic it almost seems like he has a form of dementia-we've been together for over 35 years-through good times and bad but this not knowing is hard. He also has high blood pressure and has s...

John · John

On another MIP board there was a question asking how and when does someone forgive themselves, for sometimes that is a struggle for us. I was asked by another double winner to place my reply to that question on this board because they felt more people needed to read it... so here it is. ****************...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

My mom told me about an amazing TED talk today, and I got so much out of this video that I wanted to share it with people here. It's about gratitude, and I understand that we should seek to be thankful about something every day, so this was a good reminder for me today... I hope you enjoy it too. See: http://...

Generic Writer · Generic Writer

http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/

danni · danni

I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...

souljoy · souljoy

My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...

oldergal · oldergal

I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...

odalis · odalis

Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...

Jes · Jes

Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...

CamaroGirl · CamaroGirl

I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...

jamfu · jamfu

I feel terrible right now

mrw60 · mrw60

I don't know what to do. My mother is an alcoholic and I don't know how to help her. She's 68 years old, weighs less than 100lbs and when she goes on binges will kill a 12-pack in a couple of hours. This has been going on for 10 years. It used to only happen every couple of months and just started becoming mo...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

My daughter is a serious addict and has very little waking time during the days and she has 3 small children, 1 4yr and 2 5yr olds. She had no electric and heat for several weeks, Because it was getting so cold I called DFS. According to the worker, I was not alone. My daughter and her children were miss...

rosielee · rosielee

that alcoholics are basically inept people- defunct and incapable of relationships that are healthy and nurturing- (well- in my experience that is) and when the result of this manifests itself...they go on the attack. its not really the fact that youve left your cereal bowl out and havent washed...

tlynna · tlynna

Hi all. Thanksgiving is coming, ready or not. Give me strength to be strong and ensure that I don't contribute to any imbibing on the part of my AH. How does one weigh keeping the peace (being an enabler) versus standing strong (resulting in his anger perhaps directed at others, ruining their holid...

Lily wife · Lily wife

okay- I need some advice! My husband use to drink A LOT, but has lately "cut back". We have been together for 9 years and just got married in September. He's always making comments that make me feel as though he doesn't like his lifestyle now (even before we got married). We've had NUMEROUS ar...

danni · danni

so my ah just woke up hung over. I was expecting it. I had a nice morning with my kids. I was prepared to detatch from it. I did my readings. Made a phone call. I was READY. Then I heard his stuffy voice and smelled the air in the bedroom and all my empathy and understanding just went out the window. si...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm missing RLC today...saw a couple of guys around my work today that reminded me of him facially. I felt more gratitude than sadness and then still there was some reality we won't be sharing a phone call anytime soon. But Wait!! my HP is cunning, powerful and baffling!! I'll just stay with the tho...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I want to say welcome to the newbies. I wish I could write individual welcomes to everyone. Please do know you are so welcome and I appreciate learning from everyone here! Wow, the holidays are a crazy time. This is my first set of holidays after beginning Alanon. I am no longer with my qualifier...

oldergal · oldergal

I want to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Please don't feel alone. I too will probably be alone, I have texted my A-Son and sent him 2 emails, but still have not heard from him. I will go ahead and cook turkey because I love to eat turkey and have leftovers. I know for sure I am growing in character and sel...

tommyecat · tommyecat

To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...

Pushka · Pushka

Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...

nyc018 · nyc018

I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...

atheos · atheos

Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair.

...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...

amills4294 · amills4294

Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...

RLC · RLC

The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC

Minaret · Minaret

Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...

ythannah · ythannah

ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	PLEASE READ! NEW MEMBER INTRODUCTION (Preview) I begin this introduction with a sad face because that's how I feel right now, sad and worried. I've recently come to realize that my 31 year old son is an alcoholic. He drinks because he has social phobia. He tries quitting, only to start again. He is very lonely, but is extremely shy without alcoh...	KARMA	9	730	Nov 29, 2011 by KARMA
	Hello (Preview) Hello, I'm Laurie D. I have posted here before only once or twice. I have an alcoholic brother who lives in Japan. We pretty much have had no communication for over a year, when he came for my younger brother's funeral. My younger brother was 40 and died of menengitis. It was tragic, because he seeme...	pepodwyer	2	473	Nov 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	I confronted my parents (Preview) Hi, I am fairly new here and as I described in an earlier post, I have an Active A, my husband. Each day is up and down, one day good, one day horrible. It went that way this holiday weekend. AH and I went to a friends house for Thanksgiving. They drank a lot of beer, but it went ok. No tempers flared. Next...	Minaret	6	635	Nov 28, 2011 by danni
	Separation Anxiety (Preview) I think I have decided to completely remove myself and give my AH time for his own recovery. I don't think I am ready to really accept everything that comes along with the disease. It is so hard for me but I think it might be what's best. It hurts to walk away especially after everything that I have been th...	_heather_	9	681	Nov 28, 2011 by Michelle814
	The Pain Stops when... (Preview) This one has been following me around for many years....Every time I read it, something new jumps out at me...I can be in the best of moods, and read this, and I cry....always....Lately, though, its been a healing cry....Maybe...acceptance??? I just know that this one always gets to me.. The Pain S...	KimK	12	1122	Nov 28, 2011 by skinnyme40
	Confronting EX DIL A, nasty little pill she is (Preview) All I asked was if she intended to keep MY deceased husbands last name. I got back a message full of typical A stuff. So I just answered in good Al Anon fashion. Was fun using my tools. ex. OH that would be how an A tries to get the attention off them. mmm most A's do not relate to how non A's can take med. and not b...	Debilyn	0	763	Nov 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	Random Al-Anon atheist musings (Preview) It's been several months since my first, tearful "I don't think Al-Anon can work for me because I'm an atheist" post. I'm glad I stayed. I didn't find religion, and nobody tried to make me. Instead, I found human potential. There is so much badness in the world that it is easy to forget how muc...	atheos	7	1378	Nov 28, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Bad Morning (Preview) I wish I was posting from a happy place this morning but that's not how my day started out My AH works nights so he sleeps till mid afternoon on Saturdays.This morning I found the typical mess in the kitchen,beer bottles and remnants of food he prepared for himself which I'm used to.Then I heard him get u...	MrsHennepope	15	790	Nov 28, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	got no bootstraps (Preview) i am a single mom, in the process of divorcing my AH, have 2 kids 9 and 15. I work 60+ hours a week and try to keep the household running. this morning I am feeling overwhelmed and very alone. I have mountains of work facing me at home and at work, and honestly i just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. I don'...	rehprof	11	610	Nov 28, 2011 by stephaniej
	Wow... cause I have no idea what else to call this (Preview) Haven't been here in a while, and have found the longer I am away the harder it is to come back because I have so much to say! Then, twice now, I finally wrote my post, hit an unknown control and deleted it all. Aaahhhh! Work, kids, and pure exhaustion pretty much sum up why I haven't been here, though every s...	Loupiness	2	404	Nov 28, 2011 by GailMichelle
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting this morning, November 28. My father is in emergency at the hospital and I will be with him. Sorry for the short notice. Hoping someone will step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks, Shimo/aka Jeri	shimo	0	283	Nov 28, 2011 by shimo
	Pre trip stress (Preview) I'm really struggling with my AH and his attitude at the moment. The only thing I can think is he really thought the trip wasn't going to happen and I asked for a suitcase that is some place I have NO idea where. I got hit with his attitude. It was like being physically back handed. I booked a flight from...	Pushka	7	658	Nov 28, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Went to my first AA meeting (Preview) My wife invited me to attend an AA meeting while we were up with her family for the holiday. It was an amazing experience and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason, attending this meeting really helped bring a lot into focus for me. We had a very n...	usedtobeanyer	7	666	Nov 28, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	My Thanksgiving (Preview) I had Thanksgiving at my house yesterday and invited my exAH. I had it later in the day and I had invited my best friend and her baby too, but I was sick and she didn't want to chance her lil guy getting sick. So my 13 year old and I prepared a stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean cassero...	Breakingfree	6	453	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Relapse U (Preview) New to this. Wife is in rehab 3rd time in 18 mos. This has torn the family apart. I am worried when she comes home again. Her drink is vodka and hard to detect. I typically react in a negative way. She drinks to pass out. Any help out there.	Mr44	9	694	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	A TRUE STORY...... (Preview) I once met a man who was raised in a village of 100 or so people. This village was a 20 min airplane ride from any town, by boat it was a little longer. I met him when he was trying to get sober. He said he had been drinking since he was 10 yrs old, and was now in his late 50's. a short guy with a permanent smile on his...	oldergal	6	713	Nov 27, 2011 by GailMichelle
	hello alanon freinds,heres my update (Preview) me and my a r back together for real now he has cut down on his alcohol still drinks everynight just cut back on how much but still theres that changed behavior in him the other personality comes out ,the mouthy one he is trying soo hard to do right and is doing good he wants us to make it work so much as i do also...	lookingup	3	412	Nov 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	it seems like I am ALWAYS posting! (Preview) I feel like I might post too much sometimes but the way I am I have so much to say. I almost always feel better when I post. Sometimes I don't feel that way in meetings & I have attended thousands of meetings. Today is a good day! Always tired but getting a lot accomplished! I spent my morning getting eve...	Hoot Nanny	3	788	Nov 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sponsors are wonderful (Preview) Just got to spend this afternoon with mine after not seeing her for a while... it was like receiving a serenity transfusion! Life feels much less overwhelming than it did this morning.	atheos	4	394	Nov 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	What is your Experience with Dry Drunks (Preview) My husband is sober right now-partially due to a court order. He goes to meetings but his thinking/behavior is so erratic it almost seems like he has a form of dementia-we've been together for over 35 years-through good times and bad but this not knowing is hard. He also has high blood pressure and has s...	tired of trying	14	705	Nov 27, 2011 by tired of trying
	Self Forgiveness... (Preview) On another MIP board there was a question asking how and when does someone forgive themselves, for sometimes that is a struggle for us. I was asked by another double winner to place my reply to that question on this board because they felt more people needed to read it... so here it is. ****************...	John	5	1182	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	Something I want to share about Gratitude (Preview) My mom told me about an amazing TED talk today, and I got so much out of this video that I wanted to share it with people here. It's about gratitude, and I understand that we should seek to be thankful about something every day, so this was a good reminder for me today... I hope you enjoy it too. See: http://...	ladysoblue	3	2642	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	The 12 Things I Learned In Al-Anon... (Preview) http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/	Generic Writer	5	962	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	Feeling sad (Preview) I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...	danni	6	583	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Choosing to be alone for Thanksgiving (Preview) My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...	Breakingfree	7	492	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sigh (Preview) My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...	souljoy	3	457	Nov 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Here we are again (and again and again) (Preview) So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...	ladysoblue	6	680	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sad Email From My Son on Thanksgiving (Preview) I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...	oldergal	10	780	Nov 26, 2011 by Loupiness
	is there a such thing as too much "caring about yourself" (Preview) Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...	odalis	11	640	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Alcoholic Partner Sober 8 days in AA. Can I ask them if they had a drink (day 9) or?? (Preview) Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...	Jes	12	741	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here (Preview) I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...	CamaroGirl	11	436	Nov 26, 2011 by CamaroGirl
	ANOTHER SPIRITUAL AWAKENING! (Preview) I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...	Hoot Nanny	3	680	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	metaphysical law of attraction (Preview) metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...	Lindaoakford	6	4287	Nov 26, 2011 by souljoy
	alone (Preview) I feel terrible right now	jamfu	8	400	Nov 25, 2011 by Breakingfree
	crying for two days (Preview) I don't know what to do. My mother is an alcoholic and I don't know how to help her. She's 68 years old, weighs less than 100lbs and when she goes on binges will kill a 12-pack in a couple of hours. This has been going on for 10 years. It used to only happen every couple of months and just started becoming mo...	mrw60	12	541	Nov 25, 2011 by zeninator
	My Addict daughter with 3 small children - Update (Preview) My daughter is a serious addict and has very little waking time during the days and she has 3 small children, 1 4yr and 2 5yr olds. She had no electric and heat for several weeks, Because it was getting so cold I called DFS. According to the worker, I was not alone. My daughter and her children were miss...	mdkm0726	8	628	Nov 25, 2011 by pinkchip
	i get it now (Preview) that alcoholics are basically inept people- defunct and incapable of relationships that are healthy and nurturing- (well- in my experience that is) and when the result of this manifests itself...they go on the attack. its not really the fact that youve left your cereal bowl out and havent washed...	rosielee	8	473	Nov 25, 2011 by rosielee
	Loving my AH this Thanksgiving (Preview) Hi all. Thanksgiving is coming, ready or not. Give me strength to be strong and ensure that I don't contribute to any imbibing on the part of my AH. How does one weigh keeping the peace (being an enabler) versus standing strong (resulting in his anger perhaps directed at others, ruining their holid...	tlynna	6	647	Nov 25, 2011 by tired of trying
	husband's lieing about drinking (Preview) okay- I need some advice! My husband use to drink A LOT, but has lately "cut back". We have been together for 9 years and just got married in September. He's always making comments that make me feel as though he doesn't like his lifestyle now (even before we got married). We've had NUMEROUS ar...	Lily wife	15	672	Nov 25, 2011 by tired of trying
	another hangover this morning (Preview) so my ah just woke up hung over. I was expecting it. I had a nice morning with my kids. I was prepared to detatch from it. I did my readings. Made a phone call. I was READY. Then I heard his stuffy voice and smelled the air in the bedroom and all my empathy and understanding just went out the window. si...	danni	6	392	Nov 25, 2011 by danni
	Missing Rod... (Preview) I'm missing RLC today...saw a couple of guys around my work today that reminded me of him facially. I felt more gratitude than sadness and then still there was some reality we won't be sharing a phone call anytime soon. But Wait!! my HP is cunning, powerful and baffling!! I'll just stay with the tho...	Jerry F	11	613	Nov 25, 2011 by lacewing
	irritated (Preview) Hi all, I want to say welcome to the newbies. I wish I could write individual welcomes to everyone. Please do know you are so welcome and I appreciate learning from everyone here! Wow, the holidays are a crazy time. This is my first set of holidays after beginning Alanon. I am no longer with my qualifier...	Doozy	11	642	Nov 25, 2011 by Doozy
	For All Those Alone This Thanksgiving (Preview) I want to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Please don't feel alone. I too will probably be alone, I have texted my A-Son and sent him 2 emails, but still have not heard from him. I will go ahead and cook turkey because I love to eat turkey and have leftovers. I know for sure I am growing in character and sel...	oldergal	15	494	Nov 24, 2011 by oldergal
	Happy Thanksgiving (Preview) To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...	tommyecat	8	554	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gratitude Meeting :) (Preview) Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...	Pushka	2	458	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thanksgiving Musings (Preview) My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...	likemyheart	13	597	Nov 24, 2011 by likemyheart
	Did I overreact - family boundaries (Preview) I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...	nyc018	6	498	Nov 24, 2011 by danni
	Empty... (Preview) I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......	shellyj123	15	565	Nov 24, 2011 by John
	Thanksgiving wine (or maybe whine) (Preview) I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...	Very Very Tired	8	599	Nov 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sometimes manure makes flowers grow (Preview) Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair. ...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...	atheos	5	615	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	the holidays (Preview) Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...	amills4294	6	573	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	How To Lead A Full Life ? (Preview) The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC	RLC	12	1168	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	Feeling lost and isolated (Preview) Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...	Minaret	11	453	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Help, I'm on rock bottom (Preview) Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...	rara avis	18	801	Nov 23, 2011 by rara avis
	Holidays with alcohol around (Preview) Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...	oldgraduate	10	499	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Spinning (Preview) I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...	Jackie11	17	701	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Why Does Doing the "Right" Thing Have to be so Painful? (Preview) ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...	ythannah	8	587	Nov 23, 2011 by ythannah
	a new day has come! (Preview) It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...	Hoot Nanny	3	511	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Painful Time of the Year (Preview) Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...	Grace7	7	565	Nov 23, 2011 by Grace7
	psychologist (Preview) As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...	Lindaoakford	11	556	Nov 22, 2011 by White Rabbit
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.