Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Generic Writer · Generic Writer

http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/

danni · danni

I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...

souljoy · souljoy

My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...

oldergal · oldergal

I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...

odalis · odalis

Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...

Jes · Jes

Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...

CamaroGirl · CamaroGirl

I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...

jamfu · jamfu

I feel terrible right now

mrw60 · mrw60

I don't know what to do. My mother is an alcoholic and I don't know how to help her. She's 68 years old, weighs less than 100lbs and when she goes on binges will kill a 12-pack in a couple of hours. This has been going on for 10 years. It used to only happen every couple of months and just started becoming mo...

mdkm0726 · mdkm0726

My daughter is a serious addict and has very little waking time during the days and she has 3 small children, 1 4yr and 2 5yr olds. She had no electric and heat for several weeks, Because it was getting so cold I called DFS. According to the worker, I was not alone. My daughter and her children were miss...

rosielee · rosielee

that alcoholics are basically inept people- defunct and incapable of relationships that are healthy and nurturing- (well- in my experience that is) and when the result of this manifests itself...they go on the attack. its not really the fact that youve left your cereal bowl out and havent washed...

tlynna · tlynna

Hi all. Thanksgiving is coming, ready or not. Give me strength to be strong and ensure that I don't contribute to any imbibing on the part of my AH. How does one weigh keeping the peace (being an enabler) versus standing strong (resulting in his anger perhaps directed at others, ruining their holid...

Lily wife · Lily wife

okay- I need some advice! My husband use to drink A LOT, but has lately "cut back". We have been together for 9 years and just got married in September. He's always making comments that make me feel as though he doesn't like his lifestyle now (even before we got married). We've had NUMEROUS ar...

danni · danni

so my ah just woke up hung over. I was expecting it. I had a nice morning with my kids. I was prepared to detatch from it. I did my readings. Made a phone call. I was READY. Then I heard his stuffy voice and smelled the air in the bedroom and all my empathy and understanding just went out the window. si...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm missing RLC today...saw a couple of guys around my work today that reminded me of him facially. I felt more gratitude than sadness and then still there was some reality we won't be sharing a phone call anytime soon. But Wait!! my HP is cunning, powerful and baffling!! I'll just stay with the tho...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I want to say welcome to the newbies. I wish I could write individual welcomes to everyone. Please do know you are so welcome and I appreciate learning from everyone here! Wow, the holidays are a crazy time. This is my first set of holidays after beginning Alanon. I am no longer with my qualifier...

oldergal · oldergal

I want to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Please don't feel alone. I too will probably be alone, I have texted my A-Son and sent him 2 emails, but still have not heard from him. I will go ahead and cook turkey because I love to eat turkey and have leftovers. I know for sure I am growing in character and sel...

tommyecat · tommyecat

To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...

Pushka · Pushka

Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...

nyc018 · nyc018

I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...

atheos · atheos

Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair.

...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...

amills4294 · amills4294

Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...

RLC · RLC

The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC

Minaret · Minaret

Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...

ythannah · ythannah

ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...

_heather_ · _heather_

How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...

jualias · jualias

Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...

Little White Bunny · Little White Bunny

I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...

Jozie · Jozie

As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...

funkyswimgrl · funkyswimgrl

My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM

Tracy · Tracy

I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...

atheos · atheos

Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...

oldergal · oldergal

I have read a few posts in the last month referring to being "grounded". In the Al-Anon program what do you think it means to be grounded? Oldergal

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi, I haven't been here on this board for over a year, I believe. I've been attending face to face meetings though. But, I just needed a little additional support tonight. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about 14 months. Prior to that, he was mainly drunk for years - to the poi...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

The following is from the website Thought For Today. It might come in handy for those of us who will be around others on Thanksgiving Day in America. The Power to Adjust Often when we have to adjust to a person or a situation, we experience many negative thoughts. We find it difficult and tend to feel we...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Hi, Several years ago I wrote to find support because my husband was an alcoholic. Two years ago, I wrote to find support b/c my AH was withdrawing (without doctor supervision), from 10 year use of Clonazepam and Effexor. A few weeks ago I wrote to find support b/c my husband became a patient in the psych...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Ok guys, I dont want to unload too much, but I am finding myself becoming more isolated because of my situation. I havent posted here, or gone to meetings in awhile and I am basically just existing day to day. Things were okay for a while, then my AH started letting the alcohol creep back into family ga...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm trying not to have expectations this year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I will take it above and beyond all the others. I spend days making the dinner from scratch because *I* love to do it. For me, it's like painting a masterpiece as I find the perfect ingredients and assemble them into dis...

atheos · atheos

I have been going to Al-Anon for several months now, and I can see the improvements in my life. Multiple Al-Anon friends have spotted "adult child" issues in my behavior and my shares, and suggested that I go to the local ACoA group as well. I've been to the ACoA meetings a few times, and they w...

lacewing · lacewing

I am unable to Host/Chair my regularly scheduled Tuesday Night Miracles in Progress Alanon Meeting at 9PM EST in our chatroom. I am hoping that someone can step up and offer their services to do so in my absence, if you please. Thank you, ~!~ Lacewing

No words · No words

My husband has relapsed. Tonight when I realized he had been drinking I quickly removed my son and myself from the desease. We went upstairs to leave him to deal with himself. Without any fight he came upstairs collected a few things and left. On leaving he said he was leaving because he knew he was a fail...

seeking wisdom · seeking wisdom

Hi again. My fiancee has asked me where I am at. She has never taken my encouragement seriously to seek support after her two previous relationships have been with addicts. I've reached the point where it is affecting my health. I've drafted a letter in which I have lovingly pointed out the facts of tho...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I thought about this a lot. Went back in my experiences. When Tracy C was "harsh" on me, I took it as a hmmm better look at this. I appreciate her boldness to say how she felt. We have learned thru Al Anon that growth comes from painful times. We are in recovery too. We don't say when an A relapses o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The 12 Things I Learned In Al-Anon... (Preview) http://www.genericwriter.com/2011/09/25/the-12-things-i-learned-in-al-anon/	Generic Writer	5	907	Nov 26, 2011 by mdkm0726
	Feeling sad (Preview) I'm feeling sad this morning and fighting the urge to slip into self pity mode. I think it comes down to me having trouble accepting that things are just not going to be the way I want, and I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. I'm just about to finish the first step, and I am still in so much pain, more...	danni	6	531	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Choosing to be alone for Thanksgiving (Preview) My girls are going with their Dad to his parents and I had an invite, but like last year I just don't feel like it is right. We are divorced and I would rather not confuse the situation and I didn't even feel like I had to explain myself this year, I just bowed out gracefully. We all live in a tiny community s...	Breakingfree	7	439	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sigh (Preview) My AH has been sober three years. Everything seemed to be going on okay and then a situation happened in the family and my son DIL and 8 month old moved in about two months ago. I guess the stress of the new family in the crowded house and no time alone has upped his symptoms of anxiety, isolation. tirednes...	souljoy	3	403	Nov 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Here we are again (and again and again) (Preview) So this is the first week that I'm identifying myself as an "alanon person". I had a major blowout (a drunk night) with my AH on Monday, found this board, thank God, went to my first alanon meeting on Wednesday, and now am having another drunk night with my AH tonight. (Not me; him.) What a w...	ladysoblue	6	629	Nov 26, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sad Email From My Son on Thanksgiving (Preview) I invited my son to Thanksgiving dinner, he never showed and wrote me this email. Before I respond, I would like some ESH, if anyone has any for me. This email tells me I have lots more work to do on "Acceptance". Am I missing anything else? I don't want to mention all the times when he has had me w...	oldergal	10	724	Nov 26, 2011 by Loupiness
	is there a such thing as too much "caring about yourself" (Preview) Hello everyone. I haven't been here ina while, but I've been reading taking care of myself. Can too much of caring about yourself, too much self esteem be harmful, or am I just not comfortable doing it? In my unconscious do I want to convert back to my old ways....please share your experience. the reaso...	odalis	11	588	Nov 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Alcoholic Partner Sober 8 days in AA. Can I ask them if they had a drink (day 9) or?? (Preview) Do I wait to see if they tell me? I am in a LDR and very involved in my partners life. Last night on the phone it was pretty obvious to me some drinking had occured. I have been un-able to get to an Al-Anon meeting yet. I just don't know if its appropriate to ask if they had a drink or do I wait it out until they deci...	Jes	12	691	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here (Preview) I am new to this site and new to all of this actually. I had never dealt with alcoholism until this past year. I fell in love with an alcoholic who is now in recovery. This will be day 19 for him without a drink. Right now everything is so different. He's happy and smiling. He's not angry and quick to lose...	CamaroGirl	11	388	Nov 26, 2011 by CamaroGirl
	ANOTHER SPIRITUAL AWAKENING! (Preview) I put the post in capital letters because I really have something to say! I was in an open AA meeting last night after our wonderful Thanksgiving meal. Anyhow I will get to the point. I was reading the AA promises found in the Big Book of AA & found myself choking up! I am definitely in the "spirit...	Hoot Nanny	3	632	Nov 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	metaphysical law of attraction (Preview) metaphysical law of attraction and subject reality. Just so you know, this is a post of metaphysical ponderings of philosophy that work for me..... some will agree and some will think this is total bolony... take what you like and leave the rest. Subjective reality is a belief system in which (1) the...	Lindaoakford	6	3828	Nov 26, 2011 by souljoy
	alone (Preview) I feel terrible right now	jamfu	8	346	Nov 25, 2011 by Breakingfree
	crying for two days (Preview) I don't know what to do. My mother is an alcoholic and I don't know how to help her. She's 68 years old, weighs less than 100lbs and when she goes on binges will kill a 12-pack in a couple of hours. This has been going on for 10 years. It used to only happen every couple of months and just started becoming mo...	mrw60	12	487	Nov 25, 2011 by zeninator
	My Addict daughter with 3 small children - Update (Preview) My daughter is a serious addict and has very little waking time during the days and she has 3 small children, 1 4yr and 2 5yr olds. She had no electric and heat for several weeks, Because it was getting so cold I called DFS. According to the worker, I was not alone. My daughter and her children were miss...	mdkm0726	8	574	Nov 25, 2011 by pinkchip
	i get it now (Preview) that alcoholics are basically inept people- defunct and incapable of relationships that are healthy and nurturing- (well- in my experience that is) and when the result of this manifests itself...they go on the attack. its not really the fact that youve left your cereal bowl out and havent washed...	rosielee	8	413	Nov 25, 2011 by rosielee
	Loving my AH this Thanksgiving (Preview) Hi all. Thanksgiving is coming, ready or not. Give me strength to be strong and ensure that I don't contribute to any imbibing on the part of my AH. How does one weigh keeping the peace (being an enabler) versus standing strong (resulting in his anger perhaps directed at others, ruining their holid...	tlynna	6	593	Nov 25, 2011 by tired of trying
	husband's lieing about drinking (Preview) okay- I need some advice! My husband use to drink A LOT, but has lately "cut back". We have been together for 9 years and just got married in September. He's always making comments that make me feel as though he doesn't like his lifestyle now (even before we got married). We've had NUMEROUS ar...	Lily wife	15	624	Nov 25, 2011 by tired of trying
	another hangover this morning (Preview) so my ah just woke up hung over. I was expecting it. I had a nice morning with my kids. I was prepared to detatch from it. I did my readings. Made a phone call. I was READY. Then I heard his stuffy voice and smelled the air in the bedroom and all my empathy and understanding just went out the window. si...	danni	6	343	Nov 25, 2011 by danni
	Missing Rod... (Preview) I'm missing RLC today...saw a couple of guys around my work today that reminded me of him facially. I felt more gratitude than sadness and then still there was some reality we won't be sharing a phone call anytime soon. But Wait!! my HP is cunning, powerful and baffling!! I'll just stay with the tho...	Jerry F	11	560	Nov 25, 2011 by lacewing
	irritated (Preview) Hi all, I want to say welcome to the newbies. I wish I could write individual welcomes to everyone. Please do know you are so welcome and I appreciate learning from everyone here! Wow, the holidays are a crazy time. This is my first set of holidays after beginning Alanon. I am no longer with my qualifier...	Doozy	11	588	Nov 25, 2011 by Doozy
	For All Those Alone This Thanksgiving (Preview) I want to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Please don't feel alone. I too will probably be alone, I have texted my A-Son and sent him 2 emails, but still have not heard from him. I will go ahead and cook turkey because I love to eat turkey and have leftovers. I know for sure I am growing in character and sel...	oldergal	15	444	Nov 24, 2011 by oldergal
	Happy Thanksgiving (Preview) To each and everyone on on this board, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. I can find gratitude in so many things today regardless if my loved ones are drinking. Today I am grateful to everyone who share openly and support the MIP forum through topic contributions or replying to the posts. I contin...	tommyecat	8	505	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gratitude Meeting :) (Preview) Last night was a very beautiful meeting. I don't know how others do their meetings the week of Thanksgiving, I've never experienced this before. There was a candle light meeting (it was tea candles .. lol), and we all went around the room and shared what we were grateful for this past year and blew our...	Pushka	2	406	Nov 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thanksgiving Musings (Preview) My mom thinks I should travel the Gorge (icky drive, icky weather, long too) in order to have Thanksgiving down there. No thanks. Last year I decided to do it the way I wanted to. Simple eh? I will cook a turkey covered with bacon; mashed potatoes with butter and cream cheese (no milk); gravy with lots of m...	likemyheart	13	546	Nov 24, 2011 by likemyheart
	Did I overreact - family boundaries (Preview) I got caught in another useless argument with my mom just now. I've been separated from AH for several months. She's been seething at the fact that I opted for a legal separation vs divorce and that I allow him over to see our son (the condition is sobriety; he's been sober since Sept). She informed me th...	nyc018	6	448	Nov 24, 2011 by danni
	Empty... (Preview) I had no idea that I could ever feel this lost and empty and still go on. When my mom passed away last week, she left a hole in my life that no matter what I can not begin to fill. She was my best friend and my inspiration. I'm lost without her. I had certain times, morning and night that I would call her......	shellyj123	15	508	Nov 24, 2011 by John
	Thanksgiving wine (or maybe whine) (Preview) I told my SIL that I won't be buying wine for Thanksgiving dinner this year. She's the easiest of my inlaws to tell and I know the news will trickle through the family grapevine. I told my SIL to bring whatever she wanted to drink if she wanted something harder than cranberry punch. My MIL and FIL will get...	Very Very Tired	8	546	Nov 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sometimes manure makes flowers grow (Preview) Today has been unpleasant... I kept turning certain issues around and around in my head until finally my head came unscrewed, went flying across the apartment, bounced off the wall, and landed in the toilet. Fortunately, I really needed to wash my hair. ...OK, slight exaggeration there, but the...	atheos	5	566	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	the holidays (Preview) Thanksgiving is this Thursday in the US. I'll be honest, as a kid I always dreamed of the big family holidays that they showed on TV or that my friends seemed to have. I have 2 brothers and my Mom and dad. We always had the holiday at my parents house. My parents attitude was anyone could come to our hous...	amills4294	6	516	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	How To Lead A Full Life ? (Preview) The program at my Tuesday night meeting was on "How To Lead A Full Life?". It would be interesting reading what members have to share, a way of giving back to newcomers and old timers alike. How do you lead a full life? HUGS, RLC	RLC	12	1086	Nov 24, 2011 by Doozy
	Feeling lost and isolated (Preview) Hi, Bare with me, I'm new to this but have been dealing with an AH for seven years now. I got married late in life and had two kids with AH in my 40's. He is also from a different country and much younger, so there are many challenges. I also believe AH is a bit of an angry, controlling person, but that'...	Minaret	11	401	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Help, I'm on rock bottom (Preview) Hey everybody, This feels awkward to me, but I'm reaching out for emotional help here. For whatever reason, starting last night I hit the mental bottom and got stuck. My self help tank is completely empty, and I don't want to be a bummer to my friends again. None of the usual tool, tricks, tasks, whatno...	rara avis	18	749	Nov 23, 2011 by rara avis
	Holidays with alcohol around (Preview) Ok, how do you do it? I mean how to handle the holidays when alcohol is around and you know that your loved on is probably going to drink? I have been able to keep it out of the house when its just he and I, but now his family is coming over and he's borrowing highball glasses to make sure they have them for the...	oldgraduate	10	450	Nov 23, 2011 by pinkchip
	Spinning (Preview) I've been sick since weekend before last. I get started coughing and I have trouble stopping. I missed my meeting last week because I had a fever, and once I got home I never made it past the couch. My AH has been really great about doing everything he can to help me. He started feeling yucky on Sunday. Yest...	Jackie11	17	629	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Why Does Doing the "Right" Thing Have to be so Painful? (Preview) ABF is just coming off another week-long relapse binge. Since it started, I have been gearing myself up to end our relationship, and I figured he was physically well enough to deal with it tonight. So I stopped by his place and had the "I can no longer deal with this" talk. I think I did pretty...	ythannah	8	533	Nov 23, 2011 by ythannah
	a new day has come! (Preview) It is definitely a new day in my life. Things are really looking up. I am so grateful & am willing to do the 3rd Step--turn my will over to the care of God of my understanding. I have grown more spiritually in the past few years even though I practice organized religion. I guess it takes what it takes! W...	Hoot Nanny	3	462	Nov 23, 2011 by Jackie11
	Painful Time of the Year (Preview) Hello all. First, our friends 7 yr old dgtr died last week and we are out of state, as we came for her funeral. In the process, things I had planned to put in place of what has come to be a painful time of the year for me and to ease that had to be cancelled. My birthday is at THanksgiving time. This year, aft...	Grace7	7	515	Nov 23, 2011 by Grace7
	psychologist (Preview) As some of you may remember, I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago. My first appointment was when I was advised that yes I did meet the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. The second appointment we mainly got to know my actual psychologist who will take me through the sessions, an...	Lindaoakford	11	496	Nov 22, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Terrified, lost, sinking (Preview) Well, this is my first post ever here. I've wondered for quite awhile if my husband is an alcoholic, but now I pretty much know. He says he doesn't think he is, and that it's the stress and anxiety of owning his own business that is causing him to self-medicate. He has finally started seeing a psychologi...	ladysoblue	11	536	Nov 22, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Life changing decisions... (Preview) How do you know when enough is enough? I feel as if my life has been put on hold while he tries to get this together. How long do I have to just sit in the sidelines and watch...praying and hoping that things will get better?	_heather_	11	423	Nov 22, 2011 by Pushka
	Keeping Distance to Keep Sanity separation sanity love let go let god (Preview) Million dollar question: who has it worse.. the user or the used? So my AH overdosed in a country fair parking lot. He went into the bathroom to "go" but really he was buying pills. He came out and was completely out of it.. his lips were blue and he began convulsing. I was in hysterics. A man h...	Michelle814	10	9148	Nov 22, 2011 by Michelle814
	Thank you (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded to my post regarding my husband's suicide. I am printing the responses so that I can read them over and over. I also plan to share them with his parents, who are suffering horribly right now (he did it at their home). It means so much to me that people t...	looking_for_peace	5	280	Nov 22, 2011 by canadianguy
	First meeting - questions (Preview) Good day all. I just attended my first Al-Anon meeting. I'm not sure if I will go back. I'm feeling pretty lost and confused. I'm hoping there are some here who can offer some kind of help. Any replies at all will be much appreciated. My main concerns right now are: -I was taken to the meeting by a clo...	jualias	8	690	Nov 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	hi I'm new here (Preview) I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :) Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety...	Little White Bunny	5	590	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	acceptance vs. denial (Preview) My wife is succumbing to her addictions, it started after attending a memorial service for a co-worker who committed suicide after struggling with alcoholism. We are estranged and she does not involve me in her work, so I wasn't invited to go. Apparently her co-worker's struggles were swept un...	DadtoCandE	5	1172	Nov 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Today I am Thankful... (Preview) As Many Here Know, the Month of November has not been a Very Lucky Month for me... I Lost My Afather to the disease of Alcohol this month, and today is his Birthday... BUT... HE and his Death, Helped me Find the Rooms of Al-Anon, and because of him, (And being Dragged) I Am Healing from the Inside Out... So T...	Jozie	4	346	Nov 21, 2011 by Pushka
	speaker lists available? (Preview) My group is participating in an AA Round Up. We are currently looking for a good al-anon speaker. Does anyone know of a "list" or site that gives information on speakers? -- Edited by funkyswimgrl on Monday 21st of November 2011 07:15:12 PM	funkyswimgrl	2	264	Nov 21, 2011 by funkyswimgrl
	no promises. (Preview) I am seperated from my ABf he is 2 months sober after his last slip he broke my boundaries and we seperated. I was full of resentment. Upped my meetings no contact and began to feel better. we spoke the other night and he is being honest that he can not promise me anything, that he needs to do this for hims...	Tracy	5	527	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He loves me! (Preview) Edit: I have removed this post. I was quite emotional when I made it, and posted some private things that I probably should not have put on a public, Google-searchable message-board. I thank you all for the wonderful experience, strength, and hope you have shared with me in this thread. -- Edited by at...	atheos	7	376	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	CAN WE TALK ABOUT GROUNDED (Preview) I have read a few posts in the last month referring to being "grounded". In the Al-Anon program what do you think it means to be grounded? Oldergal	oldergal	8	367	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I need to find the strength to just let go (Preview) Hi, I haven't been here on this board for over a year, I believe. I've been attending face to face meetings though. But, I just needed a little additional support tonight. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for about 14 months. Prior to that, he was mainly drunk for years - to the poi...	stopandchat	12	653	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thought for Today (Preview) The following is from the website Thought For Today. It might come in handy for those of us who will be around others on Thanksgiving Day in America. The Power to Adjust Often when we have to adjust to a person or a situation, we experience many negative thoughts. We find it difficult and tend to feel we...	GailMichelle	4	467	Nov 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	suicide (Preview) Hi, Several years ago I wrote to find support because my husband was an alcoholic. Two years ago, I wrote to find support b/c my AH was withdrawing (without doctor supervision), from 10 year use of Clonazepam and Effexor. A few weeks ago I wrote to find support b/c my husband became a patient in the psych...	looking_for_peace	22	1661	Nov 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	Reaching out for help - sorry it's so long (Preview) Ok guys, I dont want to unload too much, but I am finding myself becoming more isolated because of my situation. I havent posted here, or gone to meetings in awhile and I am basically just existing day to day. Things were okay for a while, then my AH started letting the alcohol creep back into family ga...	oldgraduate	13	564	Nov 21, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Those pesky holiday expectations (Preview) I'm trying not to have expectations this year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I will take it above and beyond all the others. I spend days making the dinner from scratch because *I* love to do it. For me, it's like painting a masterpiece as I find the perfect ingredients and assemble them into dis...	Very Very Tired	7	613	Nov 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Do I really need to do the "adult child" stuff? (Preview) I have been going to Al-Anon for several months now, and I can see the improvements in my life. Multiple Al-Anon friends have spotted "adult child" issues in my behavior and my shares, and suggested that I go to the local ACoA group as well. I've been to the ACoA meetings a few times, and they w...	atheos	14	828	Nov 21, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	MIP Tuesday Night Alanon Meeting... (Preview) I am unable to Host/Chair my regularly scheduled Tuesday Night Miracles in Progress Alanon Meeting at 9PM EST in our chatroom. I am hoping that someone can step up and offer their services to do so in my absence, if you please. Thank you, ~!~ Lacewing	lacewing	0	323	Nov 21, 2011 by lacewing
	He's never left before (Preview) My husband has relapsed. Tonight when I realized he had been drinking I quickly removed my son and myself from the desease. We went upstairs to leave him to deal with himself. Without any fight he came upstairs collected a few things and left. On leaving he said he was leaving because he knew he was a fail...	No words	11	552	Nov 20, 2011 by Jerry F
	Loved one has never sought help. Do I leave? (Preview) Hi again. My fiancee has asked me where I am at. She has never taken my encouragement seriously to seek support after her two previous relationships have been with addicts. I've reached the point where it is affecting my health. I've drafted a letter in which I have lovingly pointed out the facts of tho...	seeking wisdom	6	525	Nov 20, 2011 by Debilyn
	growth, painful but positive (Preview) I thought about this a lot. Went back in my experiences. When Tracy C was "harsh" on me, I took it as a hmmm better look at this. I appreciate her boldness to say how she felt. We have learned thru Al Anon that growth comes from painful times. We are in recovery too. We don't say when an A relapses o...	Debilyn	4	349	Nov 20, 2011 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.