The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been reading this forums posts for the past few hours and I am just overwhelmed by the caring and support I see here! Oh! This is where I want to be this is where I belong! :)
Brief intro: Im 53 + sober for almost 20yrs AH and I have been together also for almost 20 yrs he has struggled with his sobriety but managed to get chunks of time in at times (has always been in AA) The last chunk was 3 1/2 yrs. It ended 2 months ago when he came home from work drunk. He managed to get his 30 day chip and then came home from work stoned huffing paint thinner of all things (scares the hell out of me!)
I have been in + out of Al-anon for many years and it just happened that the day of my first meeting back was the day he came home drunk. Hows that for a God Shot? I dont drive so I HAVE to call people for rides to meetings I am getting better at it (I am NOT a people person by nature!) I am now averaging 3 meetings a week.
I HATE going to meetings!!!! I want to stay and hide in my apartment. But I go. I go to meetings and I sit there and cry. I went to my womens AA meeting last Friday and cried so hard that I couldnt talk they wanted to take me to the hospital. People hug me. They talk to me. They reassure me. They give me their phone number and tell me to call. They answer the phone when I do or they call me back if theyre not home. Maybe meetings arent so bad after all?
I love reading these posts because theyre saying what I need to hear. Things that people say in f2f meetings but my brain cant retain when Im so emotional. (Ok, lets face it, I have a mind like a steel sieve.)
AH went on an AA Mens Retreat this weekend and that has always fired him up in the past. I pray that it does now. I dont want to ride this roller coaster any more. My chest hurts constantly from the panic and wondering . . .
One thing that really really hurts is that until a month ago, I have ALWAYS believed in him, that he could DO IT, that he would GET IT THIS TIME. Now, I just dont. And that hurts.
*sigh*
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"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill
Love you sign on name Welcome to MIP and to your recovery
I understand the pain that you speak of and the difficulty in leaving the house to attend meetings. These are all symptoms of living with the disease of alcoholism. Breaking the isolation, sharing with people who truly understand, learning new tools to live by all help to contribute to your well being and restore hope.
Living one day at a time, trusting HP and focused on yourself you will discover that you can smile again and live with courage , serenity and peace
Please keep coming here and keep up your meetings You are worth it.
Hi and welcome to MIP! I am glad you found us and I too hope you keep making it to meetings, you are worth it! I am sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I'm glad you found this site, too! We're a group of nurturing people who are striving to obtain as much peace & serenity as possible. We share our ups and downs, and of course, our ESH.
I've been attending a weekly Al-Anon meeting since March 2011. I've felt a big difference in the way I feel.
I'm sorry to learn that your husband has fallen off the wagon. Hold hope in your heart for him, but please focus on your recovery - the one and only thing you can manage.
Glad you are aboard!
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
You have already received wonderful ESH, I just wanted to welcome you and let you know please keep coming back.
Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Welcome Bunny. I hope you also post on the AA site too. We could use your experience strength and hope there too.
I guess in the end, it matters more that you believe your higher power is going to carry you through and let your husband's HP do the work for him. I have been sober a little over 3 years and I know some basic things about why some folks make it and some don't in AA...But on the whole, it's frustrating and scary to me cuz on a deep level, I'm not sure why I have this sobriety when others just don't seem to get it.
