|
|
And So Shall it Be...
(Preview)
Today has been a Tough Day... I attended a Furneral service the last two days for a dear lady that I knew from early on in my childhood... Tho she will be Missed Dearly, at 83 with all that was goin wrong, I would much rather her be with her HP then suffering here... I Grew up with her Grandkids when my Parents...
|
Jozie
|
4
|
491
|
|
|
|
Well, OK then knock yourself out...
(Preview)
I am liking learning all this great stuff like not enabling, having boundaries, not feeling "bad" for having boundaries, etc. My son is not liking it. This is my oldest, about to be 16. He has been nothing but rude, disrespectful and condescending. Sadly the result is that the fun thing...
|
AStrongerMe
|
7
|
596
|
|
|
|
the rocking chair
(Preview)
I read a quote once in Courage to Change that worry is like a rocking chair; it may give me something to do for a few hours but it doesn't get me anywhere. based on previous posts I made I see how I had stepped out of today and was living two weeks from today. guess how far that got me? anyway I'm back in today and...
|
Wolfie55
|
3
|
325
|
|
|
|
desperate
(Preview)
My daughter is a binge alcoholic. After five years of successful sobriety she has lapsed back to drinking for the last year and one half. Countless rehabs and hospitlizations have ensued. I am losing hope. I have done everything that I can think of to be supportive. She has been drinking all of th...
|
london
|
9
|
659
|
|
|
|
Clearing my head
(Preview)
Its been one week since I've separated from my AH and I am truly enjoying the drama free peace that I have. Feeling a little lonely but it's not unmanageable. Just taking my life one day at a time and focusing on what I can do to be calm, healthy and happy. I've even begun attending meetings and have already...
|
living for me
|
2
|
342
|
|
|
|
if it don't come easy...
(Preview)
I heard a song awhile back called "If it don't come easy, you gotta let it go!" Sometimes this is true for me. I have such a complicated mind that the easy things don't come that way. Does that make sense? I have been this way forever. I think that if things are too hard, I bolt! I just want it the ea...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
3
|
312
|
|
|
|
DESPERATE need HELP!
(Preview)
My whole dang world in crumbling around me... Background: ABF and I were going to purchase a home in another state and move there. I put up my protion of the money while we were there and he was to put up his when we got back home...long story short...he NEVER did and I lost all my money and the house. He went...
|
bettyboop
|
7
|
521
|
|
|
|
3 weeks no contact or hear.
(Preview)
which is good for me im trying to stay as busy as i can,but the hurt is still there i miss his loveing sounds ensane for me to be even saying that after he gave me std and he didnt clear his up but now he got his std while we were broken up the 1st time for a year ,im talking crazy and thinking crazy now this is why im...
|
silent
|
7
|
1706
|
|
|
|
Hi, new here and a question - when do you call it a day?
(Preview)
Hi all, am new here online, am planning to attend a f2f meeting tomorrow but work commitments mean it will be impossible to make this a regular thing so I was really pleased to find this forum. I don't know how much to say without this becoming an essay, but basically I am struggling now with knowing how an...
|
teenyweenytadpole
|
11
|
654
|
|
|
|
Security question
(Preview)
Do you know that there are links to this site directly from google? It took me straight into a board conversation. I know the internet isn't completely safe but I thought this site was protected from finding its way onto public search engines? f2fmember
|
f2fmember
|
3
|
319
|
|
|
|
Weekend Meeting OPS Needed....just Once a Month!!!
(Preview)
Hello Everyone. We do NOT have enough people willing to facilitate meetings on the Al-Anon site. We are currently covered Mon-Fri mornings and evenings. Hooray to each of you!!! Weekends are a Big problem, and this is a time of the biggest need for meetings! I Believe, we are ALL accountable and...
|
Grace7
|
5
|
376
|
|
|
|
Flashing Forehead Sign
(Preview)
Last night I had my F2F meeting. It was on step 5, it was a great meeting! I got home and my AH had made dinner and the little warmer lit. For Easter he had given me a candle warmer with lilac scented oil. Yesterday he purchased little scented wax not candles but I don't know what the name is. There is a point, p...
|
Jackie11
|
12
|
602
|
|
|
|
Update: back to court soon
(Preview)
After trying and failing to get another EPO [ emergency protection order, cop on duty was going on his weekend in 1/2 hour and made that clear ] my lawyer took the bull by the horns and asked for a temporary restraining order, which was approved and served. Now we have a court date for May 16 for the restrai...
|
rara avis
|
2
|
357
|
|
|
|
Court is done
(Preview)
And all in all, things generally went my way. You never go to court expecting everything to go your way...just never happens. By and large the judge sided with me, and my payments to my ex will increase a small amount, but nowhere near what he was asking for. Also, he is now resonsible for paying 1/3 of...
|
stephaniej
|
6
|
400
|
|
|
|
Maximum Stress
(Preview)
Man, my HP spoke to me loud and clear today. I have spent the whole week wound tight as a drum. Child support/attorneys fees payment hearing on Thursday with my ex (recall that I pay HIM child support and alimony, and now he wants me to pay his attorneys' fees for harassing me in court, all after I took a 65...
|
stephaniej
|
6
|
503
|
|
|
|
Invalidating feelings?
(Preview)
I grew up being told I didn't feel one way or the other in specific situations. My grandpa died I wasn't allowed to be sad. This was my perception of the situation as a kid, I was stuttered in how I grieved (My mother and grandma fell apart, there was no place for me TO fall apart in my minds eye). I wasn't a...
|
Pushka
|
15
|
883
|
|
|
|
Gossipy Supervisor
(Preview)
I'm just trying to get this message posted before I leave for work. I could use a little feedback. My boss has helped me to assist a team member. Although I don't work directly for him, and do work directly for her; he is management. He and I had a meeting yesterday and most of the hour was spent listeni...
|
tiredtonite
|
7
|
536
|
|
|
|
Talking to my A about trust?
(Preview)
I have been feeling compelled to talk to my AH about my trust issues with him. He quit drinking after the DUI in February. We have had no intimacy in our marriage since then because I just plain old don't want to do 'it' with someone I don't trust yet. He hasn't approached me about the subject. He is so wrapp...
|
ilovedogs
|
9
|
678
|
|
|
|
New here...upset today
(Preview)
My family is so toxic...it's just so painful sometimes. My husband and I are both celebrating 30 years sober this year. However, I have lost 2 brothers to alcohol, and I have an older sister who is newly out of jail and in a homeless shelter in New England. Writing this stuns me. I simply can't believe it h...
|
tanyanubin
|
10
|
485
|
|
|
|
My Dad had a drink
(Preview)
I am new here. Sorry for starting right out the gate with this but need advice fast. My parents are coming down for a five day visit and I found out last night my Dad decided he could drink once a week and he will be OK. My family has hit pre-deployment mode (military family) and I really do not want to have to...
|
Mom_of_ 3
|
6
|
531
|
|
|
|
Setting boundaries....
(Preview)
Christmas before last....Christmas day....driving to Nanna's house with our SIX...children....I stayed home sick. Texts from 3 older kids. "SOMETHING" wrong with Daddy. He can't stay awake. Acting funny. Something wrong. When I realized..."HOW" bad. Ambien. Mixe...
|
Hope For Change
|
7
|
514
|
|
|
|
Fear is taking over, is it just cold feet????
(Preview)
I live in a rented 2 bedroom house on Lake Michigan way out in the woods with only 2 neighbors that I can see through the trees. I have a great yard, private beach and well it is beautiful and serene way out here. It was the best place I could have found while seperating and later divorcing my AH. It has priva...
|
Breakingfree
|
8
|
566
|
|
|
|
Sign Up for OP's for Weekend Meetings 9AM Eastern Sat/Sun and 7PM Eastern Sun
(Preview)
Sign up below for the date and time you can and will OP. Thank You ahead of time!!! You Are Appreciated for this!!! Saturday May 5 9 AM Eastern Facilitator:____________________ Sunday May 6 9 AM Eastern Facilitator:____________________ 7 PM Easter...
|
Grace7
|
0
|
364
|
|
|
|
So much for hope
(Preview)
As mentioned in my previous post my A went over a week without drinking. It was not by choice, it was because he lost his wallet and ATM card. He had no money and I wouldn't give him any. He was starting to look better and he said he felt better. I was hopeful that this might be a new beginning for him. Silly me....
|
pineapple
|
10
|
1338
|
|
|
|
al anon strength
(Preview)
My exabf has been drinking for about ten weeks and we seperated. He has been really ill. I made the mistake of getting intimate with him about a week ago after a girls night out. He has now gone back to AA so he says and wants to talk. I do not want to talk I told him I made a mistake and apologised for sending...
|
Tracy
|
7
|
454
|
|
|
|
2 Ways to Tell Your Story
(Preview)
I was viewing Oprah's most recent Life Class that is streamed online. One of her guests was Iyanla Vanzant. She said that there are two ways to tell your story. One keeps you in a rut, while the other one gets you into the flow of life. Rut Story: I loved Booboo (her word, not mine) I gave Booboo my all And...
|
GailMichelle
|
9
|
1723
|
|
|
|
What would you do?
(Preview)
My AH is flying back to MD today for his dad's funeral. My son and I are joining him tomorrow. AH had his license suspended for the month of May but hasn't gotten the notice from the DMV yet. He is going to rent a car in MD and I don't think he's going to have any problems because he's with the corporate plan...
|
ilovedogs
|
10
|
710
|
|
|
|
God's Timing
(Preview)
I have to say I have 3 situations that are looming at the moment where I am unsure where to go. I have given it to God (HP) and am trying to keep my hands out of them. 1 situation I'm going to let go of .. I know that God's timing may not be mine however it also means that things will be arranged the way I need them...
|
Pushka
|
8
|
498
|
|
|
|
bad night
(Preview)
ok, so this is only my third time posting on here, I just don't know what else to do!! last night my a/h was drinking of course and he always wants to "talk" when he is drinking. he first started with our finances, then it was how he feels my mother has a negative inpact on our relationship (so not...
|
I am lost
|
9
|
750
|
|
|
|
1, 2, 3
(Preview)
Recovery Meditations ~ Birthright ~ One Day at a Time ~ April 23, 2012:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~RECOVERY MEDITATIONSOne Day at a TimeApril 23, 2012~ BIRTHRIGHT ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~I've continued to recognize the power individuals have to change vir...
|
Fina
|
4
|
386
|
|
|
|
Hiking with HP
(Preview)
I went for a hike yesterday. 6 miles roundtrip on a mountain. It was a beautiful day but as I progressed up the mountain, fog blew in and clouded any view. The effect was surreal, but perfectly suited my place in time. I'm in that murky middle space in between the worlds of the past and the future. I do...
|
Dolly Llama
|
6
|
514
|
|
|
|
Just Poppin In...
(Preview)
Hello All... been a Long Time... I am Still Survivin this Crazy World & Sometimes even have moments I Feel like I "Strivin", So I Suppose I am On the Correct Road Currently... I Still make my Meetings as Often as I can, Hope to make one tonight ;) Yea know Going to the my F2F Meetings & Se...
|
Jozie
|
2
|
404
|
|
|
|
Going to the big city today and scared
(Preview)
I need some well wishes, good thoughts and prayers for any who will offer them! I am going to a job interview and to look at 2 apartments. This move is 1 month away and I am just shocked I am taking my girls and I to a new town with nobody there that I know and I am staying in motion and feeling hopeful about it. Wh...
|
Breakingfree
|
14
|
709
|
|
|
|
AH's father passed away today
(Preview)
Ah's father passed away today at the wonderful old age of 89. Some of you may remember that my father passed away about 4.5 months ago, at the age of 62. We may all be going across the country for the funeral. I'm not sure how my son will handle this as his anxiety and stress levels really went through the...
|
ilovedogs
|
10
|
843
|
|
|
|
AH's Assumptions, in-laws, and progress
(Preview)
One of the most infuriating aspects of my marriage was that my AH assumes my intentions, thoughts, and feelings. He's also a Narcissist, and I'm sure a lot of this assuming is actually projection of his own thoughts. Sometimes, it feels like a manipulation, that I am supposed to jump in and correct h...
|
Dolly Llama
|
4
|
412
|
|
|
|
Did you know this came from him?
(Preview)
just sharing btw son sent me a message. We are now communicating.
|
Debilyn
|
5
|
488
|
|
|
|
Quote in Today's Reminder, Courage to Change--A good one!
(Preview)
Life holds so much--so much to be happy about always. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can be felt only if you don't set conditions. -Artur Rubinstein That last sentence is very very powerful...
|
usedtobeanyer
|
7
|
1130
|
|
|
|
Being heard
(Preview)
Being heard is incredibly important to me. I hate being misunderstood or disregarded when I try to express myself. I used a different tack today with my partner and feel I made some progress. I have been recognising the things I do that block my chances of being heard and taken seriously. For example my...
|
Tigger
|
5
|
379
|
|
|
|
Disappointments
(Preview)
Disappointments all round again. When will it all stop? I guess when I choose to put myself first. Tracey
|
Tracey C
|
6
|
554
|
|
|
|
thanks
(Preview)
Hi everyone I have been back for about a week. I haven't been on here as much as I was before I went away. I have spent quite a bit of time here today though. Since coming back from holidays.. I have felt a little tense for some reason. I guess I am waiting for him to go back to using after being 'good' while we...
|
Oksie
|
4
|
249
|
|
|
|
it soo does hurt in alot of ways
(Preview)
its now been 9 days no contact with my a/d ex b/f he is still on my face book and we both was just on at the same time i wanted ,oh how i wanted to say something to him or him say something to me or just send me something but no not nothing i posted things and he posted a country song video ,i finally thought it best j...
|
silent
|
5
|
489
|
|
|
|
I am never upset for the reason I think I am.
(Preview)
That is a quote from A Course in Miracles. This helps me so much when I'm fuming, frustrated, depressed. Makes me take a step back. Sometimes I am upset with myself for having been lax and letting a situation develop that could have been prevented. Sometimes it is displaced anger--it would be too sc...
|
Temple
|
8
|
499
|
|
|
|
lead my first F2F meeting.... and.... dealing with unacceptable behavior
(Preview)
Boy it was fun and it went well! We have a fairly well structured group so it was fairly easy to do. I picked boundaries as my topic and did some readings from Hope for Today. Lots of great shares. It was nice to feel like I did a good job. It was nice to be in a roomfull of non judgemental people. Right befo...
|
amills4294
|
4
|
446
|
|
|
|
me - one year on
(Preview)
One year ago...approximately.. I attended the office of a psychologist in tears, ready to kill myself and not knowing how my life had disintegrated to the point it was at. I thought I had it 'sorted'. Great husband, great life. Then... my husband relapsed into pot use/drug addiction. We were married...
|
Oksie
|
8
|
487
|
|
|
|
Thoughts
(Preview)
Hey everyone. Hope you are all doing well. I spent my birthday and whole weekend in bed with a horrible flu and sinus infection that didn't help me too much because I didn't get to any meetings. I really needed them. It just gave me time to sit and think...and my thoughts hurt. I keep going to pick up my phon...
|
Corgi2
|
6
|
476
|
|
|
|
Seeing the Train wreck
(Preview)
The train wreck is coming in ways that boggle the mind. I knew he was sick, I get that he's sick .. I just didn't realize how sick until two and two got put together. It's not that I didn't see it or get it .. what I get now is how fast the train is coming. I have the same feeling I had a few months before the DUI....
|
Pushka
|
9
|
575
|
|
|
|
Relationship with drinker's over, but I still feel afraid...
(Preview)
Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, how did you deal with it? Briefly, I'd been in a long-distance relationship with my partner, decided to move the 200 miles to join him... and then the relationship really started going downhill. Basically I'd walked into a situation with a heavy drinker wi...
|
Nutbrownhare
|
7
|
536
|
|
|
|
The 10th step...
(Preview)
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. See I know it. I also know how to do it. I have a loving, caring wife who doesn't refrain from giving me suggestions about self care. A couple of weeks ago I blinded myself in my right eye. I wasn't wearing safety glass...
|
Jerry F
|
10
|
1005
|
|
|
|
UNITY
(Preview)
Recovery Meditations ~ Unity ~ One Day At A Time ~ April 28, 2012 :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: RECOVERY MEDITATIONS One Day at a Time April 28, 2012 ~ UNITY ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: Separate reeds are weak and easily broken; but bound together they are str...
|
Fina
|
2
|
308
|
|
|
|
Someone must relate?
(Preview)
For over 4 months now my son has not contacted me. We were as always ok and close. Then some dumb thing happened and he got upset as he thought I didn't see how upset he was. I just said no worries I will take care of it. That made him mad as he thought I was putting him down for being upset. It was over something i...
|
Debilyn
|
7
|
508
|
|
|
|
new to alanon online...need help
(Preview)
well...I started going to alanon a couple of months ago..real meetings... I found out I was pregnant,and stopped my own social drinking.I found out that my boyfriend cant stop his evening stress relief...drinking until he passes out... And it brought up the memories of my childhood,and the drinki...
|
leel
|
9
|
480
|
|
|
|
How to tame your resentful feelings
(Preview)
Lately my husband has been an every other day drinker. On the days he doesn't drink, everything is supposed to be "normal" and if I'm "cold" or "standoffish" because I am resentful because i remember everything that happened yesterday not to mention the money he wa...
|
callmemara
|
5
|
630
|
|
|
|
Finally posting!! New and Excited!!!
(Preview)
I left my AH 3 years ago after 10+ years of confusion, anger and a broken heart. I knew nothing of alcoholism except that I couldn't be a part of it anymore. I found this message board the first week after moving into my new place and cannot even attempt to come close to expressing the gratitude and warmt...
|
azlady604
|
6
|
745
|
|
|
|
This is so hard to do!!! I need help/support!
(Preview)
Here I'm again feeling like I'm going under, Just earlier this week I was feeling good about saing "no" to my daughter. Well this 45 y.o. women has me feeling guilty and sad. She called this morning asking if I could bring her some food to last until the 1st. she is hungry. I told her they we...
|
Highlyfavored
|
5
|
565
|
|
|
|
FAITH!
(Preview)
I am proud of my week. On several occasions when I had some clients who were very upset I sat quietly with them, talked minimally, expressed love through words and gesture, and prayed. Of course, I don't tell them I'm praying since we are not allowed to talk about prayer where I work. But I did pray. I p...
|
Michelle814
|
5
|
589
|
|
|
|
Back to Alanon - new city - both sig other and daughter
(Preview)
Well, I'm back to Alanon - should have stayed in... Famous last words! My aso of 17 years and I had a great group in Houston, but I was transferred to Dallas 3 years ago. We still have many of our friends from the rooms there (AA, NA, AFG), but I am rarely there due to travel. Anyhow my then 17 yo daughter left...
|
cerika111
|
2
|
351
|
|
|
|
Al-Anon's helping me learn to be a better friend.
(Preview)
I had a great experience the other day to see how Al-Anon has helped me to change in so many ways. I was talking with a friend who was going through a nerve-racking experience where he told me he'd been seeing someone and she had called him and told him her period was late. He had a lot of fear going on with tha...
|
Aloha
|
5
|
702
|
|
|
|
Expanded Slogan ..
(Preview)
Say what you mean, mean what you say; don't say it mean, don't expect different behavior. Someone shared this at meeting today and BOY did I like that big time!! Anyway, just wanted to share that and say thanks. Hugs P :)
|
Pushka
|
5
|
305
|
|
|
|
How to be supportive when you know the cycle will continue?
(Preview)
Other times he goes in cycles where he "realizes" how wrong he is to drink like he does, and talks about how he's going to change. And I believe that he means it when he says it, but I know the cycle. I know that it's only a matter of time, usually days, sometimes a week, before he's at it again. How...
|
callmemara
|
10
|
609
|
|
|
|
Double drunk trainwreck
(Preview)
I know there are "double winners" on this site, but in responding to other people and their threads, I keep feeling different for several reasons. Mostly, I think it's because I was just as big a drunk as my qualifier and then actually worse towards the end. My reaction to his drinking and...
|
pinkchip
|
9
|
648
|
|