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Alot of pain
(Preview)
Hello, I am new here but have been reading the posts on this site for a while now just haven't felt brave enough to make a comment yet. Don't even know where to start... I'm living with my alcoholic boyfriend for 2 and a half years now with our 2 year old daughter. I am unemployed and financially dependent o...
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LeahC
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4
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515
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Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting @9:00PM
(Preview)
Hello Everyone! I am unable to Chair my regularly scheduled Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting tonight, and apologize for such a late notice. Today is my Daughter's Birthday and I finally got her to commit to going out to dinner as a small celebration for keeping her alive for 22 years and her not killing me...
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lacewing
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1
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229
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Being Crazy.
(Preview)
I can't go to a f2f today. I know I need it badly. My daughter has my car. I am being obsessive right now. AF and I are on the same cell phone plan. I have the family locator on the plan, so I can locate him as well. I have been sitting in front of the computer watching everywhere he goes. He hasn't been home since...
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katfshh
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7
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521
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Option: On Line Meetings!
(Preview)
I have heard of and see so many people who visit and use the boards. It is wonderful to have this, isn't it?! A Huge Thanks to John who started this and to ALL who contribute their service and their Experience, Strength & Hope (ESH)! I at one time moved from Metropolitan to Rural..so very rural! T...
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Grace7
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0
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365
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Made it through the memorial service
(Preview)
Had court with my ex on Friday, followed by my mom's memorial service on Saturday. It was an exhausting weekend. The service was very nice; many people got up and spoke about my mother. Honestly, I only ever knew a mom who struggled mightily with severe depression and a host of other issues. But one...
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stephaniej
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6
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313
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why
(Preview)
My husband is 11 months sober isn't working the program and hasn't worked on mending the relationships with me his wife or kids I don't know what to do.
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HAguirre
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8
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470
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My Son RIP
(Preview)
Hi MIP Family Five years ago tonight, my son Stephen, who had over 12 years of sobriety, died from this horrific disease. Stephen relapsed and for 2 years and was in and out of rehabs. I still miss him every moment of every day. Please say a small prayer. Thanks
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hotrod
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23
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646
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Toxic Relationship
(Preview)
I realize that the relationship with my mother is probably toxic. My mother is not the A in my life my husband is. We are separated but he still sees me and our son on weekends. After a terrible downfall resulting in the loss of his job last summer, he is 8 months sober, working a good program in AA, and fro...
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nyc018
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7
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829
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Weekend Alanon Meeting Facilitators Needed UNTIL Regular OPS are obtained
(Preview)
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Grace7
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1
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287
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A sudden change?
(Preview)
My AH was very distant from me in many ways for the past few weeks. We were drifting apart and I was feeling negative vibes from him all that time. His dad died last week and all of a sudden he seems NORMAL. And, I mean, NORMAL! It's like he did a 180. We were back east for his dad's services and funeral an...
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ilovedogs
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4
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584
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Expectations and newbie angst.
(Preview)
I needed to have this discussion with people other than myinner circle and other than my alcoholic. Thanks for being here and reading. First, I would like to state that I am feeling quite angsty right now. Instead of trying to make my alcoholic, aka "E", feel responsible, my rational mind k...
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littlehawk
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7
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587
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My home feels awkward
(Preview)
I am feeling very uneasy and am looking for ESH. I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was smoking pot when I met him. After 10 years of his pot smoking daily, his yelling and put downs, I told him he needed to leave. He chose rehab. 24 days inpatient treatment and 4 weeks in a SLE, he came home. That...
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dragonflys
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7
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524
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Time to make a plan...
(Preview)
After 20 years of marriage, I've come to the conclusion that it's time to make a plan to serarate from my AH. My health is bad and stress is the worst thing for my condition (lupus) and my AH has a habit of coming home late when he's drunk and he's always in some emotional state. He's either overly happy and e...
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TryingToChange
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4
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472
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Boundaries? Anger, resentment, fear, confusion
(Preview)
I will try to speak with my sponsor about this later today. I am feeling shame because I have worked the steps through 8 & 9, and not find myself totally confused and angry and scared in a situation. Did I not work the steps well enough? My boyfriend is a recovering Alcoholic, 20+ years of sobriety. ...
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Iamgood
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8
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786
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my AS is slowly dying..
(Preview)
i haven't been on the board for a couple of years. (AH has been clean for going on 2 years.) my 36 year old adult son is active. he has been in the hospital for pancreatitis where the docs told him he had to stop drinking or he would die. his wife left him (with the children) after 15 years of his addiction. a...
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debhud
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7
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603
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TCOMF
(Preview)
I suppose some of you are tired of reading my posts regarding my A-he's drinking himself to death, he quits for a week and feels good, he starts drinking again and is suicidal, etc., etc. Believe me, you can't be any more tired of reading it than I am of living it. But now for the good news-for the last six mo...
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pineapple
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5
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499
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When do you walk away for good - even though you still love them?
(Preview)
Hi - Its my first time here. Im really greatful to have found this - as I am anxious if i was to go to a f2f meeting I would get to upset - sounds silly. My recent ex of 5 years is in recovery for 4 of those years,its been a rollercoaster of love, tears, laughs and adventures and everything that goes with it. Due t...
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recovery2012
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6
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721
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Am I Over Reacting
(Preview)
I trusted him to not drink tonight while he looked after our daughter. I went out at 6 to my soccer teams quiz night. I told my H that I was getting a ride with a friend. He asked what would happen if he needed me to come home in case our D wouldn't take the bottle from him. I said he could come pick me up. He pa...
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Bargee
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15
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789
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Feeling my feelings
(Preview)
I am the kind of person who throws themself into work when things get hard. I don't even do it purposely, I just want to keep busy so that I am always around people/friends. Things seem to be moving in a scary direction because for the first time I am taking control of my life and responsibility for my own ha...
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Corgi2
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4
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320
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cancer but not to worry!
(Preview)
My husband for sure has skin cancer as we found out yesterday. He is OK although he has to go back for more treatments. I am hoping & praying that he doesn't have to go through too much & me either. I am very nervous as is he. I guess the cancer is spreading in my family. My dad died of it last December a...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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427
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"I can't" and logic with an 8 year old
(Preview)
Ok I try my hardest to use loving detachment everywhere so bear with me. And I'll admit right up front I still screw up but every once in awhile it clicks and I get it. I've been working with my son. He's in a classroom for multiple "issues". He has dyslexia and auditory processing disord...
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AStrongerMe
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10
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611
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ITS FINALLY SUNDAY AND IM BETTER
(Preview)
church was a great blessing to me this morning for they said theres no reason to be bored or be idle time for theres so much to do in the church in doing service and this is sooo true,i do need you here ..my dear freinds in alanon for you kept me from picking up that phone and makeing that phone call to my ex a/d ,...
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silent
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3
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436
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One year later..like clock work.
(Preview)
I haven't been here in so long, or to a face to face meeting in months. I seriously thought this time he was going to stay sober. He has been working his program for a year and made it through all 12 steps. But, on his 1 year sober date, he took off to spend the evening with his son. That was May 2nd. He hasn't bee...
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katfshh
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14
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573
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Digging DEEP into my Al Anon Toolbox today
(Preview)
We had a pretty rotten weekend, centered around a HUGE fight on Saturday night. The worst one ever, with the usual verbal abuse from my AH plus a tirade the likes of which I had never seen before from him. He trotted out "I hate you and I want a divorce" for at least the fifth or sixth time in the...
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stephaniej
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6
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1208
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And So Shall it Be...
(Preview)
Today has been a Tough Day... I attended a Furneral service the last two days for a dear lady that I knew from early on in my childhood... Tho she will be Missed Dearly, at 83 with all that was goin wrong, I would much rather her be with her HP then suffering here... I Grew up with her Grandkids when my Parents...
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Jozie
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4
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495
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Well, OK then knock yourself out...
(Preview)
I am liking learning all this great stuff like not enabling, having boundaries, not feeling "bad" for having boundaries, etc. My son is not liking it. This is my oldest, about to be 16. He has been nothing but rude, disrespectful and condescending. Sadly the result is that the fun thing...
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AStrongerMe
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7
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600
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the rocking chair
(Preview)
I read a quote once in Courage to Change that worry is like a rocking chair; it may give me something to do for a few hours but it doesn't get me anywhere. based on previous posts I made I see how I had stepped out of today and was living two weeks from today. guess how far that got me? anyway I'm back in today and...
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Wolfie55
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3
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329
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desperate
(Preview)
My daughter is a binge alcoholic. After five years of successful sobriety she has lapsed back to drinking for the last year and one half. Countless rehabs and hospitlizations have ensued. I am losing hope. I have done everything that I can think of to be supportive. She has been drinking all of th...
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london
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9
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667
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Clearing my head
(Preview)
Its been one week since I've separated from my AH and I am truly enjoying the drama free peace that I have. Feeling a little lonely but it's not unmanageable. Just taking my life one day at a time and focusing on what I can do to be calm, healthy and happy. I've even begun attending meetings and have already...
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living for me
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2
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345
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if it don't come easy...
(Preview)
I heard a song awhile back called "If it don't come easy, you gotta let it go!" Sometimes this is true for me. I have such a complicated mind that the easy things don't come that way. Does that make sense? I have been this way forever. I think that if things are too hard, I bolt! I just want it the ea...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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315
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DESPERATE need HELP!
(Preview)
My whole dang world in crumbling around me... Background: ABF and I were going to purchase a home in another state and move there. I put up my protion of the money while we were there and he was to put up his when we got back home...long story short...he NEVER did and I lost all my money and the house. He went...
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bettyboop
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7
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525
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3 weeks no contact or hear.
(Preview)
which is good for me im trying to stay as busy as i can,but the hurt is still there i miss his loveing sounds ensane for me to be even saying that after he gave me std and he didnt clear his up but now he got his std while we were broken up the 1st time for a year ,im talking crazy and thinking crazy now this is why im...
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silent
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7
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1712
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Hi, new here and a question - when do you call it a day?
(Preview)
Hi all, am new here online, am planning to attend a f2f meeting tomorrow but work commitments mean it will be impossible to make this a regular thing so I was really pleased to find this forum. I don't know how much to say without this becoming an essay, but basically I am struggling now with knowing how an...
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teenyweenytadpole
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11
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658
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Security question
(Preview)
Do you know that there are links to this site directly from google? It took me straight into a board conversation. I know the internet isn't completely safe but I thought this site was protected from finding its way onto public search engines? f2fmember
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f2fmember
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3
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322
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Weekend Meeting OPS Needed....just Once a Month!!!
(Preview)
Hello Everyone. We do NOT have enough people willing to facilitate meetings on the Al-Anon site. We are currently covered Mon-Fri mornings and evenings. Hooray to each of you!!! Weekends are a Big problem, and this is a time of the biggest need for meetings! I Believe, we are ALL accountable and...
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Grace7
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5
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381
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Flashing Forehead Sign
(Preview)
Last night I had my F2F meeting. It was on step 5, it was a great meeting! I got home and my AH had made dinner and the little warmer lit. For Easter he had given me a candle warmer with lilac scented oil. Yesterday he purchased little scented wax not candles but I don't know what the name is. There is a point, p...
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Jackie11
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12
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606
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Update: back to court soon
(Preview)
After trying and failing to get another EPO [ emergency protection order, cop on duty was going on his weekend in 1/2 hour and made that clear ] my lawyer took the bull by the horns and asked for a temporary restraining order, which was approved and served. Now we have a court date for May 16 for the restrai...
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rara avis
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2
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365
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Court is done
(Preview)
And all in all, things generally went my way. You never go to court expecting everything to go your way...just never happens. By and large the judge sided with me, and my payments to my ex will increase a small amount, but nowhere near what he was asking for. Also, he is now resonsible for paying 1/3 of...
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stephaniej
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6
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403
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Maximum Stress
(Preview)
Man, my HP spoke to me loud and clear today. I have spent the whole week wound tight as a drum. Child support/attorneys fees payment hearing on Thursday with my ex (recall that I pay HIM child support and alimony, and now he wants me to pay his attorneys' fees for harassing me in court, all after I took a 65...
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stephaniej
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6
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509
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Invalidating feelings?
(Preview)
I grew up being told I didn't feel one way or the other in specific situations. My grandpa died I wasn't allowed to be sad. This was my perception of the situation as a kid, I was stuttered in how I grieved (My mother and grandma fell apart, there was no place for me TO fall apart in my minds eye). I wasn't a...
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Pushka
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15
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887
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Gossipy Supervisor
(Preview)
I'm just trying to get this message posted before I leave for work. I could use a little feedback. My boss has helped me to assist a team member. Although I don't work directly for him, and do work directly for her; he is management. He and I had a meeting yesterday and most of the hour was spent listeni...
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tiredtonite
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7
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542
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Talking to my A about trust?
(Preview)
I have been feeling compelled to talk to my AH about my trust issues with him. He quit drinking after the DUI in February. We have had no intimacy in our marriage since then because I just plain old don't want to do 'it' with someone I don't trust yet. He hasn't approached me about the subject. He is so wrapp...
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ilovedogs
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9
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683
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New here...upset today
(Preview)
My family is so toxic...it's just so painful sometimes. My husband and I are both celebrating 30 years sober this year. However, I have lost 2 brothers to alcohol, and I have an older sister who is newly out of jail and in a homeless shelter in New England. Writing this stuns me. I simply can't believe it h...
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tanyanubin
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10
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489
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My Dad had a drink
(Preview)
I am new here. Sorry for starting right out the gate with this but need advice fast. My parents are coming down for a five day visit and I found out last night my Dad decided he could drink once a week and he will be OK. My family has hit pre-deployment mode (military family) and I really do not want to have to...
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Mom_of_ 3
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6
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535
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Setting boundaries....
(Preview)
Christmas before last....Christmas day....driving to Nanna's house with our SIX...children....I stayed home sick. Texts from 3 older kids. "SOMETHING" wrong with Daddy. He can't stay awake. Acting funny. Something wrong. When I realized..."HOW" bad. Ambien. Mixe...
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Hope For Change
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7
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519
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Fear is taking over, is it just cold feet????
(Preview)
I live in a rented 2 bedroom house on Lake Michigan way out in the woods with only 2 neighbors that I can see through the trees. I have a great yard, private beach and well it is beautiful and serene way out here. It was the best place I could have found while seperating and later divorcing my AH. It has priva...
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Breakingfree
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8
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572
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Sign Up for OP's for Weekend Meetings 9AM Eastern Sat/Sun and 7PM Eastern Sun
(Preview)
Sign up below for the date and time you can and will OP. Thank You ahead of time!!! You Are Appreciated for this!!! Saturday May 5 9 AM Eastern Facilitator:____________________ Sunday May 6 9 AM Eastern Facilitator:____________________ 7 PM Easter...
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Grace7
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0
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366
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So much for hope
(Preview)
As mentioned in my previous post my A went over a week without drinking. It was not by choice, it was because he lost his wallet and ATM card. He had no money and I wouldn't give him any. He was starting to look better and he said he felt better. I was hopeful that this might be a new beginning for him. Silly me....
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pineapple
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10
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1342
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al anon strength
(Preview)
My exabf has been drinking for about ten weeks and we seperated. He has been really ill. I made the mistake of getting intimate with him about a week ago after a girls night out. He has now gone back to AA so he says and wants to talk. I do not want to talk I told him I made a mistake and apologised for sending...
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Tracy
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7
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458
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2 Ways to Tell Your Story
(Preview)
I was viewing Oprah's most recent Life Class that is streamed online. One of her guests was Iyanla Vanzant. She said that there are two ways to tell your story. One keeps you in a rut, while the other one gets you into the flow of life. Rut Story: I loved Booboo (her word, not mine) I gave Booboo my all And...
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GailMichelle
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9
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1806
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What would you do?
(Preview)
My AH is flying back to MD today for his dad's funeral. My son and I are joining him tomorrow. AH had his license suspended for the month of May but hasn't gotten the notice from the DMV yet. He is going to rent a car in MD and I don't think he's going to have any problems because he's with the corporate plan...
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ilovedogs
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10
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714
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God's Timing
(Preview)
I have to say I have 3 situations that are looming at the moment where I am unsure where to go. I have given it to God (HP) and am trying to keep my hands out of them. 1 situation I'm going to let go of .. I know that God's timing may not be mine however it also means that things will be arranged the way I need them...
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Pushka
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8
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503
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bad night
(Preview)
ok, so this is only my third time posting on here, I just don't know what else to do!! last night my a/h was drinking of course and he always wants to "talk" when he is drinking. he first started with our finances, then it was how he feels my mother has a negative inpact on our relationship (so not...
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I am lost
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9
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757
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1, 2, 3
(Preview)
Recovery Meditations ~ Birthright ~ One Day at a Time ~ April 23, 2012:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~RECOVERY MEDITATIONSOne Day at a TimeApril 23, 2012~ BIRTHRIGHT ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~I've continued to recognize the power individuals have to change vir...
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Fina
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4
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389
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Hiking with HP
(Preview)
I went for a hike yesterday. 6 miles roundtrip on a mountain. It was a beautiful day but as I progressed up the mountain, fog blew in and clouded any view. The effect was surreal, but perfectly suited my place in time. I'm in that murky middle space in between the worlds of the past and the future. I do...
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Dolly Llama
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6
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516
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Just Poppin In...
(Preview)
Hello All... been a Long Time... I am Still Survivin this Crazy World & Sometimes even have moments I Feel like I "Strivin", So I Suppose I am On the Correct Road Currently... I Still make my Meetings as Often as I can, Hope to make one tonight ;) Yea know Going to the my F2F Meetings & Se...
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Jozie
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2
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424
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Going to the big city today and scared
(Preview)
I need some well wishes, good thoughts and prayers for any who will offer them! I am going to a job interview and to look at 2 apartments. This move is 1 month away and I am just shocked I am taking my girls and I to a new town with nobody there that I know and I am staying in motion and feeling hopeful about it. Wh...
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Breakingfree
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14
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713
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AH's father passed away today
(Preview)
Ah's father passed away today at the wonderful old age of 89. Some of you may remember that my father passed away about 4.5 months ago, at the age of 62. We may all be going across the country for the funeral. I'm not sure how my son will handle this as his anxiety and stress levels really went through the...
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ilovedogs
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10
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853
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AH's Assumptions, in-laws, and progress
(Preview)
One of the most infuriating aspects of my marriage was that my AH assumes my intentions, thoughts, and feelings. He's also a Narcissist, and I'm sure a lot of this assuming is actually projection of his own thoughts. Sometimes, it feels like a manipulation, that I am supposed to jump in and correct h...
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Dolly Llama
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4
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418
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Did you know this came from him?
(Preview)
just sharing btw son sent me a message. We are now communicating.
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Debilyn
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5
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494
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