Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, I hope you are well. :) Three weeks ago my AH, while holding our toddler daughter, slammed me in a door several times, pushed me out the door, and locked me out of the house while he had her inside. I called the police, and filed a report. Apparently they were supposed to arrest him, and not e...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Yesterday I took a day for me because it was my birthday. In years past I lamented long and hard that the ex A did all kinds of cruel stuff on my birthday. He once took one of his friends out on my birthday! In years past the fact I wasn't deluged with cards, presents and more would have been a sign of my self...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF's ex wife who is on the East Coast started really getting worried about their son. I hadn't spoken to my AF the entire week he was gone, but she talked to him yesterday and he still hadn't found his son. She basically begged me to drive up to Venice Beach and help my AF find him. It was good that we did, we...

living for me · living for me

My husband and I have agreed to a ninety day trial separation. I have been gone since April 29th with my two small children. I requested that we only talk once a week at a pre-arranged time. I just don't need his insanity, whether it's in-person or over the phone. Nor do I want to deal with his manipulation...

willowtree · willowtree

I have noticed something about myself that I hope to change. When someone is talking in a setting of a few people, I seem to start daydreaming. I have noticed that other people in alanon (longtimers) seem to be really engaged with the people they are listening to. They even act interested and ask que...

Grace7 · Grace7

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pineapple · pineapple

Gee, I've been doing so good for so long-but today I had a temper tantrum. Things have been piling up the last few days (Both A and non-A related) and this afternoon I just had enough, the anger and frustration had to come out. I threw a flashlight (it wasn't working) on the ground, watched it break into pi...

Fina · Fina

One of the most difficult attitude problems any counselor faces is that of "entitlement". Entitlement is an attitude of "I'm owed." It is apparent in beliefs such as these:"I'm a college graduate, so I deserve a high-paying job.""I've been good to my friend...

amills4294 · amills4294

OK, I posted this on the adult children site as well. I'm an adult child of an A, my H is not an A but I struggle with the relationship a lot from my past as well as his behaviors too. So I"m posting here for any ESH as well. My H has been going through a new company takeover/employer at work. I know it i...

Ree · Ree

Hi. I'm new to this form of Al-Anon chatting. Couldn't figure out how to make the on-line meeting work (suggestions anyone?) and I need to be "around" recovering people right now. No drama happening, just old and contual feelings of insecurity, anxiety (about what??) and obsession with...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Well my AH fell off the wagon , and as usual flew into a rage. I told him I couldn't be witness to this again and I drove off. I had my emergency bag at the office and the day has come for me to use it. Please pray for my dog, I had to leave that moment and can't take her to a hotel. She is all I am worried about right no...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I finally had the chance to be with all of my grown daughters this past weekend and was able to tell them that I am divorcing their dad (my AH of 30 years). Our two daughters who don't have issues with alcohol took the news fairly well and were very supportive and concerned for both me and their dad. My AD was...

Fina · Fina

Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 9, 2012~ OPEN MINDEDNESS ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind ismore open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints ofothers, without being crippled by your own ju...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was just posting about guilt right? I just got out of the shower and he has a dozen roses on the kitchen counter in vases for me! 6 red and 6 white. And, the first question in my mind is: how did he get said roses??? I'm assuming he drove to the grocery store! So, how do I respond? Gratitude for the ef...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I told my husband that he had two choices, go to family counseling so we can figure out a way to help my son or he could leave. He was very upset. I didn't want to give any kind of ultimatum but I cannot continue living the way that we are. Obviously this is all my fault. Well mine and my sons as he has already d...

willowtree · willowtree

http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/05/08/dealing-alcoholic-denial-- Edited by willowtree on Wednesday 9th of...

sookie · sookie

Feeling weepy today. MY separated AH and I took our girls out of town for a vacation. I thought he had been sober for a few months, but then the day before we left--he was slurring his speech on the phone from work...and reeked the next day of alcohol. He just stared out the window in silence for most of the c...

willowtree · willowtree

I recently applied for a job with a company I am very passionate about. I didn't think I would get hired. I think it was exciting to think about working for them but I had no idea that it would actually happen. It is a work from home job part time, 4 hours a day. This transition from being a SAHM for the las...

Inawhirl · Inawhirl

Thank you. I'm new to these boards; they seem to be great. Thanks for the support you all show each other. 23yo AD made her amends to me today. She is nearly a month into the program and a month sober, though we certainly tried to get her in the program and off drugs/alcohol during HS. (DH took her to me...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just saying...if it ain't one thing it is another! My mother did not get in a car accident yesterday but some people think they need to let me know & it was actually not true. I am so frustrated w/ people in my small town. One guy who thought he heard on his scanner that my mom had been in this so-called ac...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know a hot topic for sure. I grew up being molested and had a couple different predators. I went through counseling and did a workbook titled "wounded heart" or something like that a few years ago. As much as I feel like I have dealt with these issues I feel that my life will always be touched...

sickandtired · sickandtired

Hi everyone, I'm new here, and basically just trying to find the support of some people who understand. I don't think I'm really looking for answers, just wanting to rant and maybe some guidance from others who have been where I am. I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I am 19 years old a...

AlAnonMom68 · AlAnonMom68

I'm new here. I found this board by doing a Google search on "al anon for atheists." I am a full-on scientific believer, but NO GODS for me, please. Keep Thor, Yahweh, Jesus and all of 'em. The program worked really well for me when I first started going to meetings back in 2002/3. I went fo...

Tigger · Tigger

If God even exists I hate him right now. He has pushed me too far and given me too much to handle. And for what? So I can learn another stupid lesson and develop another strength, another tool? Ok fine...I totally get that, but why does it all have to be so difficult and usually involve some kind of sufferin...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Please send, thoughts, prayers, well wishes if you would. Today I am signing a lease and having my second interview. I have been posting and reading a lot with this move and have felt pretty stirred up with all the changes coming at me, but today I feel great and am embracing this new season of my life and I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I believe that guilt is a huge component of what I am dealing with. I don't know if this is common for any of you all, but I have a lot of guilt that I throw on myself even though I know it's not rational, at all. For instance, AH has supposedly lost his license for the month of May. I told him that I won't driv...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

So, I just heard a song called A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans and in watching the video and listening to the song I realized something...I AM ALOT stronger than I was the first time I heard that song a couple years ago. I remember the first time I heard it I felt this profound sadness cause I was NOT at t...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It wasn't a terrible day, but the last 3 Sunday's I have answered the phone knowing it will be my exAH wanting to come over and have breakfast with us, since he knows I make a big Sunday brunch for the girls and I. He knows we are moving in early June and so I have let him slip in and spend time with all of us befor...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

I was really nervous about how our trip to Vegas would go, but after reading some wonderful advice from friends on this board, I decided to just let go. As in - right! He might drink, so what if he does? I put together a small mental list of Plan Bs for myself, which also helped to calm me down before we left....

Aloha · Aloha

Over the last couple days, I've been presented with information that may affect me in one way or another. I can feel my old pre-recovery self deep down wanting to panic, make plans, ask more questions, make even more plans, and so on. The point of the matter is, these are situations I'm not 100% in contro...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

I messed up royally this weekend. I pretty much relapsed on my relationship and codependency this weekend. I was so strong and i gave up and gave into all the BS and lies. Basically this weekend, I was going to meet with my ex for the 1st time in 5 months to clear the air and see him in person. Friday night we w...

katfshh · katfshh

Help me avoid running to the rescue. My AF called his ex wife this morning, he can't find his son hasn't seen him since Saturday, and now he is wandering around Venice Beach, Drunk, looking for him. Neither of them have a car there, they went there by bus and train. His son is recently diagnosed with Schiz...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, I am new here but have been reading the posts on this site for a while now just haven't felt brave enough to make a comment yet. Don't even know where to start... I'm living with my alcoholic boyfriend for 2 and a half years now with our 2 year old daughter. I am unemployed and financially dependent o...

lacewing · lacewing

Hello Everyone! I am unable to Chair my regularly scheduled Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting tonight, and apologize for such a late notice. Today is my Daughter's Birthday and I finally got her to commit to going out to dinner as a small celebration for keeping her alive for 22 years and her not killing me...

katfshh · katfshh

I can't go to a f2f today. I know I need it badly. My daughter has my car. I am being obsessive right now. AF and I are on the same cell phone plan. I have the family locator on the plan, so I can locate him as well. I have been sitting in front of the computer watching everywhere he goes. He hasn't been home since...

Grace7 · Grace7

I have heard of and see so many people who visit and use the boards. It is wonderful to have this, isn't it?! A Huge Thanks to John who started this and to ALL who contribute their service and their Experience, Strength & Hope (ESH)! I at one time moved from Metropolitan to Rural..so very rural! T...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Had court with my ex on Friday, followed by my mom's memorial service on Saturday. It was an exhausting weekend. The service was very nice; many people got up and spoke about my mother. Honestly, I only ever knew a mom who struggled mightily with severe depression and a host of other issues. But one...

HAguirre · HAguirre

My husband is 11 months sober isn't working the program and hasn't worked on mending the relationships with me his wife or kids I don't know what to do.

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family Five years ago tonight, my son Stephen, who had over 12 years of sobriety, died from this horrific disease. Stephen relapsed and for 2 years and was in and out of rehabs. I still miss him every moment of every day. Please say a small prayer. Thanks

nyc018 · nyc018

I realize that the relationship with my mother is probably toxic. My mother is not the A in my life my husband is. We are separated but he still sees me and our son on weekends. After a terrible downfall resulting in the loss of his job last summer, he is 8 months sober, working a good program in AA, and fro...

Grace7 · Grace7

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ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH was very distant from me in many ways for the past few weeks. We were drifting apart and I was feeling negative vibes from him all that time. His dad died last week and all of a sudden he seems NORMAL. And, I mean, NORMAL! It's like he did a 180. We were back east for his dad's services and funeral an...

littlehawk · littlehawk

I needed to have this discussion with people other than myinner circle and other than my alcoholic. Thanks for being here and reading. First, I would like to state that I am feeling quite angsty right now. Instead of trying to make my alcoholic, aka "E", feel responsible, my rational mind k...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I am feeling very uneasy and am looking for ESH. I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was smoking pot when I met him. After 10 years of his pot smoking daily, his yelling and put downs, I told him he needed to leave. He chose rehab. 24 days inpatient treatment and 4 weeks in a SLE, he came home. That...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

After 20 years of marriage, I've come to the conclusion that it's time to make a plan to serarate from my AH. My health is bad and stress is the worst thing for my condition (lupus) and my AH has a habit of coming home late when he's drunk and he's always in some emotional state. He's either overly happy and e...

Iamgood · Iamgood

I will try to speak with my sponsor about this later today. I am feeling shame because I have worked the steps through 8 & 9, and not find myself totally confused and angry and scared in a situation. Did I not work the steps well enough? My boyfriend is a recovering Alcoholic, 20+ years of sobriety. ...

debhud · debhud

i haven't been on the board for a couple of years. (AH has been clean for going on 2 years.) my 36 year old adult son is active. he has been in the hospital for pancreatitis where the docs told him he had to stop drinking or he would die. his wife left him (with the children) after 15 years of his addiction. a...

pineapple · pineapple

I suppose some of you are tired of reading my posts regarding my A-he's drinking himself to death, he quits for a week and feels good, he starts drinking again and is suicidal, etc., etc. Believe me, you can't be any more tired of reading it than I am of living it. But now for the good news-for the last six mo...

recovery2012 · recovery2012

Hi - Its my first time here. Im really greatful to have found this - as I am anxious if i was to go to a f2f meeting I would get to upset - sounds silly. My recent ex of 5 years is in recovery for 4 of those years,its been a rollercoaster of love, tears, laughs and adventures and everything that goes with it. Due t...

Bargee · Bargee

I trusted him to not drink tonight while he looked after our daughter. I went out at 6 to my soccer teams quiz night. I told my H that I was getting a ride with a friend. He asked what would happen if he needed me to come home in case our D wouldn't take the bottle from him. I said he could come pick me up. He pa...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I am the kind of person who throws themself into work when things get hard. I don't even do it purposely, I just want to keep busy so that I am always around people/friends. Things seem to be moving in a scary direction because for the first time I am taking control of my life and responsibility for my own ha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My husband for sure has skin cancer as we found out yesterday. He is OK although he has to go back for more treatments. I am hoping & praying that he doesn't have to go through too much & me either. I am very nervous as is he. I guess the cancer is spreading in my family. My dad died of it last December a...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Ok I try my hardest to use loving detachment everywhere so bear with me. And I'll admit right up front I still screw up but every once in awhile it clicks and I get it. I've been working with my son. He's in a classroom for multiple "issues". He has dyslexia and auditory processing disord...

silent · silent

church was a great blessing to me this morning for they said theres no reason to be bored or be idle time for theres so much to do in the church in doing service and this is sooo true,i do need you here ..my dear freinds in alanon for you kept me from picking up that phone and makeing that phone call to my ex a/d ,...

katfshh · katfshh

I haven't been here in so long, or to a face to face meeting in months. I seriously thought this time he was going to stay sober. He has been working his program for a year and made it through all 12 steps. But, on his 1 year sober date, he took off to spend the evening with his son. That was May 2nd. He hasn't bee...

stephaniej · stephaniej

We had a pretty rotten weekend, centered around a HUGE fight on Saturday night. The worst one ever, with the usual verbal abuse from my AH plus a tirade the likes of which I had never seen before from him. He trotted out "I hate you and I want a divorce" for at least the fifth or sixth time in the...

Jozie · Jozie

Today has been a Tough Day... I attended a Furneral service the last two days for a dear lady that I knew from early on in my childhood... Tho she will be Missed Dearly, at 83 with all that was goin wrong, I would much rather her be with her HP then suffering here... I Grew up with her Grandkids when my Parents...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I am liking learning all this great stuff like not enabling, having boundaries, not feeling "bad" for having boundaries, etc. My son is not liking it. This is my oldest, about to be 16. He has been nothing but rude, disrespectful and condescending. Sadly the result is that the fun thing...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I read a quote once in Courage to Change that worry is like a rocking chair; it may give me something to do for a few hours but it doesn't get me anywhere. based on previous posts I made I see how I had stepped out of today and was living two weeks from today. guess how far that got me? anyway I'm back in today and...

london · london

My daughter is a binge alcoholic. After five years of successful sobriety she has lapsed back to drinking for the last year and one half. Countless rehabs and hospitlizations have ensued. I am losing hope. I have done everything that I can think of to be supportive. She has been drinking all of th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Check in - has been a while (Preview) Hi Everyone, I hope you are well. :) Three weeks ago my AH, while holding our toddler daughter, slammed me in a door several times, pushed me out the door, and locked me out of the house while he had her inside. I called the police, and filed a report. Apparently they were supposed to arrest him, and not e...	KLotus	11	516	May 10, 2012 by Oksie
	What's good enough (Preview) Yesterday I took a day for me because it was my birthday. In years past I lamented long and hard that the ex A did all kinds of cruel stuff on my birthday. He once took one of his friends out on my birthday! In years past the fact I wasn't deluged with cards, presents and more would have been a sign of my self...	orchidlover	5	388	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trying not to get in my car-update (Preview) My AF's ex wife who is on the East Coast started really getting worried about their son. I hadn't spoken to my AF the entire week he was gone, but she talked to him yesterday and he still hadn't found his son. She basically begged me to drive up to Venice Beach and help my AF find him. It was good that we did, we...	katfshh	9	587	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Separated (Preview) My husband and I have agreed to a ninety day trial separation. I have been gone since April 29th with my two small children. I requested that we only talk once a week at a pre-arranged time. I just don't need his insanity, whether it's in-person or over the phone. Nor do I want to deal with his manipulation...	living for me	7	541	May 10, 2012 by Pushka
	I'm a daydreamer (Preview) I have noticed something about myself that I hope to change. When someone is talking in a setting of a few people, I seem to start daydreaming. I have noticed that other people in alanon (longtimers) seem to be really engaged with the people they are listening to. They even act interested and ask que...	willowtree	3	307	May 10, 2012 by orchidlover
	Sign Up to Faciltate a Weekend Meeting .... Schedule Below Thank YOU for Your Service and Care Here! (Preview) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------	Grace7	3	368	May 10, 2012 by Fina
	starting over (Preview) Gee, I've been doing so good for so long-but today I had a temper tantrum. Things have been piling up the last few days (Both A and non-A related) and this afternoon I just had enough, the anger and frustration had to come out. I threw a flashlight (it wasn't working) on the ground, watched it break into pi...	pineapple	5	428	May 10, 2012 by amills4294
	Feeling Entitled? (Preview) One of the most difficult attitude problems any counselor faces is that of "*entitlement*". Entitlement is an attitude of "I'm owed." It is apparent in beliefs such as these:"I'm a college graduate, so I deserve a high-paying job.""I've been good to my friend...	Fina	0	659	May 10, 2012 by Fina
	struggling a bit with others today (actually struggling with my own behavior) (Preview) OK, I posted this on the adult children site as well. I'm an adult child of an A, my H is not an A but I struggle with the relationship a lot from my past as well as his behaviors too. So I"m posting here for any ESH as well. My H has been going through a new company takeover/employer at work. I know it i...	amills4294	3	541	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Need a meeting (Preview) Hi. I'm new to this form of Al-Anon chatting. Couldn't figure out how to make the on-line meeting work (suggestions anyone?) and I need to be "around" recovering people right now. No drama happening, just old and contual feelings of insecurity, anxiety (about what??) and obsession with...	Ree	2	263	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I Did It (Preview) Well my AH fell off the wagon , and as usual flew into a rage. I told him I couldn't be witness to this again and I drove off. I had my emergency bag at the office and the day has come for me to use it. Please pray for my dog, I had to leave that moment and can't take her to a hotel. She is all I am worried about right no...	surfgirl123	13	621	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Update (Preview) I finally had the chance to be with all of my grown daughters this past weekend and was able to tell them that I am divorcing their dad (my AH of 30 years). Our two daughters who don't have issues with alcohol took the news fairly well and were very supportive and concerned for both me and their dad. My AD was...	Green Eyes	5	416	May 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Open Mindedness (Preview) *Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 9, 2012~ OPEN MINDEDNESS ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind ismore open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints ofothers, without being crippled by your own ju...**	Fina	0	436	May 9, 2012 by Fina
	UGH!!!!! Now what? (Preview) So, I was just posting about guilt right? I just got out of the shower and he has a dozen roses on the kitchen counter in vases for me! 6 red and 6 white. And, the first question in my mind is: how did he get said roses??? I'm assuming he drove to the grocery store! So, how do I respond? Gratitude for the ef...	ilovedogs	15	629	May 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Its all my Fault (Preview) So I told my husband that he had two choices, go to family counseling so we can figure out a way to help my son or he could leave. He was very upset. I didn't want to give any kind of ultimatum but I cannot continue living the way that we are. Obviously this is all my fault. Well mine and my sons as he has already d...	dragonflys	5	557	May 9, 2012 by dragonflys
	Video by DrDrew"Are you dealing with an alcoholic" (Preview) http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/05/08/dealing-alcoholic-denial-- Edited by willowtree on Wednesday 9th of...	willowtree	2	493	May 9, 2012 by Aloha
	Still in denial... (Preview) Feeling weepy today. MY separated AH and I took our girls out of town for a vacation. I thought he had been sober for a few months, but then the day before we left--he was slurring his speech on the phone from work...and reeked the next day of alcohol. He just stared out the window in silence for most of the c...	sookie	5	552	May 9, 2012 by sookie
	Wondering if I am I trying to sabatoge myself again? (Preview) I recently applied for a job with a company I am very passionate about. I didn't think I would get hired. I think it was exciting to think about working for them but I had no idea that it would actually happen. It is a work from home job part time, 4 hours a day. This transition from being a SAHM for the las...	willowtree	6	524	May 9, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Amends (Preview) Thank you. I'm new to these boards; they seem to be great. Thanks for the support you all show each other. 23yo AD made her amends to me today. She is nearly a month into the program and a month sober, though we certainly tried to get her in the program and off drugs/alcohol during HS. (DH took her to me...	Inawhirl	5	441	May 9, 2012 by Inawhirl
	if it ain't one thing... (Preview) Just saying...if it ain't one thing it is another! My mother did not get in a car accident yesterday but some people think they need to let me know & it was actually not true. I am so frustrated w/ people in my small town. One guy who thought he heard on his scanner that my mom had been in this so-called ac...	Hoot Nanny	0	305	May 8, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Sexual dysfunctions (Preview) I know a hot topic for sure. I grew up being molested and had a couple different predators. I went through counseling and did a workbook titled "wounded heart" or something like that a few years ago. As much as I feel like I have dealt with these issues I feel that my life will always be touched...	Breakingfree	7	519	May 9, 2012 by Oksie
	Newbie - Need to Rant (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new here, and basically just trying to find the support of some people who understand. I don't think I'm really looking for answers, just wanting to rant and maybe some guidance from others who have been where I am. I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I am 19 years old a...	sickandtired	4	544	May 9, 2012 by Debilyn
	hello from an Atheist who needs the program but not the G.O.D. (Preview) I'm new here. I found this board by doing a Google search on "al anon for atheists." I am a full-on scientific believer, but NO GODS for me, please. Keep Thor, Yahweh, Jesus and all of 'em. The program worked really well for me when I first started going to meetings back in 2002/3. I went fo...	AlAnonMom68	16	701	May 9, 2012 by likemyheart
	I HATE GOD (Preview) If God even exists I hate him right now. He has pushed me too far and given me too much to handle. And for what? So I can learn another stupid lesson and develop another strength, another tool? Ok fine...I totally get that, but why does it all have to be so difficult and usually involve some kind of sufferin...	Tigger	13	841	May 9, 2012 by Inawhirl
	Second trip to the big city (Preview) Please send, thoughts, prayers, well wishes if you would. Today I am signing a lease and having my second interview. I have been posting and reading a lot with this move and have felt pretty stirred up with all the changes coming at me, but today I feel great and am embracing this new season of my life and I...	Breakingfree	6	362	May 9, 2012 by Green Eyes
	GUILT (Preview) I believe that guilt is a huge component of what I am dealing with. I don't know if this is common for any of you all, but I have a lot of guilt that I throw on myself even though I know it's not rational, at all. For instance, AH has supposedly lost his license for the month of May. I told him that I won't driv...	ilovedogs	9	668	May 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Good Feeling (Preview) So, I just heard a song called A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans and in watching the video and listening to the song I realized something...I AM ALOT stronger than I was the first time I heard that song a couple years ago. I remember the first time I heard it I felt this profound sadness cause I was NOT at t...	seekingserenity	7	429	May 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Sunday not so fun day (Preview) It wasn't a terrible day, but the last 3 Sunday's I have answered the phone knowing it will be my exAH wanting to come over and have breakfast with us, since he knows I make a big Sunday brunch for the girls and I. He knows we are moving in early June and so I have let him slip in and spend time with all of us befor...	Breakingfree	6	540	May 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Update, post-Vegas... (Preview) I was really nervous about how our trip to Vegas would go, but after reading some wonderful advice from friends on this board, I decided to just let go. As in - right! He might drink, so what if he does? I put together a small mental list of Plan Bs for myself, which also helped to calm me down before we left....	ladysoblue	5	435	May 8, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trust trust trust... (Preview) Over the last couple days, I've been presented with information that may affect me in one way or another. I can feel my old pre-recovery self deep down wanting to panic, make plans, ask more questions, make even more plans, and so on. The point of the matter is, these are situations I'm not 100% in contro...	Aloha	5	552	May 8, 2012 by KLotus
	I fell right into his trap! (Preview) I messed up royally this weekend. I pretty much relapsed on my relationship and codependency this weekend. I was so strong and i gave up and gave into all the BS and lies. Basically this weekend, I was going to meet with my ex for the 1st time in 5 months to clear the air and see him in person. Friday night we w...	Julie3310	11	757	May 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	Trying not to get in my car! (Preview) Help me avoid running to the rescue. My AF called his ex wife this morning, he can't find his son hasn't seen him since Saturday, and now he is wandering around Venice Beach, Drunk, looking for him. Neither of them have a car there, they went there by bus and train. His son is recently diagnosed with Schiz...	katfshh	8	621	May 8, 2012 by pinkchip
	Alot of pain (Preview) Hello, I am new here but have been reading the posts on this site for a while now just haven't felt brave enough to make a comment yet. Don't even know where to start... I'm living with my alcoholic boyfriend for 2 and a half years now with our 2 year old daughter. I am unemployed and financially dependent o...	LeahC	4	534	May 8, 2012 by LeahC
	Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting @9:00PM (Preview) Hello Everyone! I am unable to Chair my regularly scheduled Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting tonight, and apologize for such a late notice. Today is my Daughter's Birthday and I finally got her to commit to going out to dinner as a small celebration for keeping her alive for 22 years and her not killing me...	lacewing	1	250	May 8, 2012 by Grace7
	Being Crazy. (Preview) I can't go to a f2f today. I know I need it badly. My daughter has my car. I am being obsessive right now. AF and I are on the same cell phone plan. I have the family locator on the plan, so I can locate him as well. I have been sitting in front of the computer watching everywhere he goes. He hasn't been home since...	katfshh	7	550	May 8, 2012 by katfshh
	Option: On Line Meetings! (Preview) I have heard of and see so many people who visit and use the boards. It is wonderful to have this, isn't it?! A Huge Thanks to John who started this and to ALL who contribute their service and their Experience, Strength & Hope (ESH)! I at one time moved from Metropolitan to Rural..so very rural! T...	Grace7	0	386	May 7, 2012 by Grace7
	Made it through the memorial service (Preview) Had court with my ex on Friday, followed by my mom's memorial service on Saturday. It was an exhausting weekend. The service was very nice; many people got up and spoke about my mother. Honestly, I only ever knew a mom who struggled mightily with severe depression and a host of other issues. But one...	stephaniej	6	332	May 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	why (Preview) My husband is 11 months sober isn't working the program and hasn't worked on mending the relationships with me his wife or kids I don't know what to do.	HAguirre	8	491	May 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My Son RIP (Preview) Hi MIP Family Five years ago tonight, my son Stephen, who had over 12 years of sobriety, died from this horrific disease. Stephen relapsed and for 2 years and was in and out of rehabs. I still miss him every moment of every day. Please say a small prayer. Thanks	hotrod	23	668	May 7, 2012 by Ness
	Toxic Relationship (Preview) I realize that the relationship with my mother is probably toxic. My mother is not the A in my life my husband is. We are separated but he still sees me and our son on weekends. After a terrible downfall resulting in the loss of his job last summer, he is 8 months sober, working a good program in AA, and fro...	nyc018	7	855	May 7, 2012 by nyc018
	Weekend Alanon Meeting Facilitators Needed UNTIL Regular OPS are obtained (Preview) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------	Grace7	1	307	May 7, 2012 by Fina
	A sudden change? (Preview) My AH was very distant from me in many ways for the past few weeks. We were drifting apart and I was feeling negative vibes from him all that time. His dad died last week and all of a sudden he seems NORMAL. And, I mean, NORMAL! It's like he did a 180. We were back east for his dad's services and funeral an...	ilovedogs	4	611	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	Expectations and newbie angst. Expectations (Preview) I needed to have this discussion with people other than myinner circle and other than my alcoholic. Thanks for being here and reading. First, I would like to state that I am feeling quite angsty right now. Instead of trying to make my alcoholic, aka "E", feel responsible, my rational mind k...	littlehawk	7	607	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	My home feels awkward (Preview) I am feeling very uneasy and am looking for ESH. I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was smoking pot when I met him. After 10 years of his pot smoking daily, his yelling and put downs, I told him he needed to leave. He chose rehab. 24 days inpatient treatment and 4 weeks in a SLE, he came home. That...	dragonflys	7	548	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	Time to make a plan... (Preview) After 20 years of marriage, I've come to the conclusion that it's time to make a plan to serarate from my AH. My health is bad and stress is the worst thing for my condition (lupus) and my AH has a habit of coming home late when he's drunk and he's always in some emotional state. He's either overly happy and e...	TryingToChange	4	494	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	Boundaries? Anger, resentment, fear, confusion (Preview) I will try to speak with my sponsor about this later today. I am feeling shame because I have worked the steps through 8 & 9, and not find myself totally confused and angry and scared in a situation. Did I not work the steps well enough? My boyfriend is a recovering Alcoholic, 20+ years of sobriety. ...	Iamgood	8	813	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	my AS is slowly dying.. (Preview) i haven't been on the board for a couple of years. (AH has been clean for going on 2 years.) my 36 year old adult son is active. he has been in the hospital for pancreatitis where the docs told him he had to stop drinking or he would die. his wife left him (with the children) after 15 years of his addiction. a...	debhud	7	623	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	TCOMF (Preview) I suppose some of you are tired of reading my posts regarding my A-he's drinking himself to death, he quits for a week and feels good, he starts drinking again and is suicidal, etc., etc. Believe me, you can't be any more tired of reading it than I am of living it. But now for the good news-for the last six mo...	pineapple	5	522	May 7, 2012 by orchidlover
	When do you walk away for good - even though you still love them? (Preview) Hi - Its my first time here. Im really greatful to have found this - as I am anxious if i was to go to a f2f meeting I would get to upset - sounds silly. My recent ex of 5 years is in recovery for 4 of those years,its been a rollercoaster of love, tears, laughs and adventures and everything that goes with it. Due t...	recovery2012	6	745	May 7, 2012 by recovery2012
	Am I Over Reacting (Preview) I trusted him to not drink tonight while he looked after our daughter. I went out at 6 to my soccer teams quiz night. I told my H that I was getting a ride with a friend. He asked what would happen if he needed me to come home in case our D wouldn't take the bottle from him. I said he could come pick me up. He pa...	Bargee	15	811	May 7, 2012 by Pushka
	Feeling my feelings (Preview) I am the kind of person who throws themself into work when things get hard. I don't even do it purposely, I just want to keep busy so that I am always around people/friends. Things seem to be moving in a scary direction because for the first time I am taking control of my life and responsibility for my own ha...	Corgi2	4	342	May 7, 2012 by Bargee
	cancer but not to worry! (Preview) My husband for sure has skin cancer as we found out yesterday. He is OK although he has to go back for more treatments. I am hoping & praying that he doesn't have to go through too much & me either. I am very nervous as is he. I guess the cancer is spreading in my family. My dad died of it last December a...	Hoot Nanny	5	451	May 7, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	"I can't" and logic with an 8 year old (Preview) Ok I try my hardest to use loving detachment everywhere so bear with me. And I'll admit right up front I still screw up but every once in awhile it clicks and I get it. I've been working with my son. He's in a classroom for multiple "issues". He has dyslexia and auditory processing disord...	AStrongerMe	10	639	May 7, 2012 by xqz
	ITS FINALLY SUNDAY AND IM BETTER (Preview) church was a great blessing to me this morning for they said theres no reason to be bored or be idle time for theres so much to do in the church in doing service and this is sooo true,i do need you here ..my dear freinds in alanon for you kept me from picking up that phone and makeing that phone call to my ex a/d ,...	silent	3	460	May 7, 2012 by hotrod
	One year later..like clock work. (Preview) I haven't been here in so long, or to a face to face meeting in months. I seriously thought this time he was going to stay sober. He has been working his program for a year and made it through all 12 steps. But, on his 1 year sober date, he took off to spend the evening with his son. That was May 2nd. He hasn't bee...	katfshh	14	601	May 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Digging DEEP into my Al Anon Toolbox today (Preview) We had a pretty rotten weekend, centered around a HUGE fight on Saturday night. The worst one ever, with the usual verbal abuse from my AH plus a tirade the likes of which I had never seen before from him. He trotted out "I hate you and I want a divorce" for at least the fifth or sixth time in the...	stephaniej	6	1253	May 6, 2012 by Iamgood
	And So Shall it Be... (Preview) Today has been a Tough Day... I attended a Furneral service the last two days for a dear lady that I knew from early on in my childhood... Tho she will be Missed Dearly, at 83 with all that was goin wrong, I would much rather her be with her HP then suffering here... I Grew up with her Grandkids when my Parents...	Jozie	4	519	May 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	Well, OK then knock yourself out... (Preview) I am liking learning all this great stuff like not enabling, having boundaries, not feeling "bad" for having boundaries, etc. My son is not liking it. This is my oldest, about to be 16. He has been nothing but rude, disrespectful and condescending. Sadly the result is that the fun thing...	AStrongerMe	7	626	May 6, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	the rocking chair (Preview) I read a quote once in Courage to Change that worry is like a rocking chair; it may give me something to do for a few hours but it doesn't get me anywhere. based on previous posts I made I see how I had stepped out of today and was living two weeks from today. guess how far that got me? anyway I'm back in today and...	Wolfie55	3	349	May 6, 2012 by pineapple
	desperate (Preview) My daughter is a binge alcoholic. After five years of successful sobriety she has lapsed back to drinking for the last year and one half. Countless rehabs and hospitlizations have ensued. I am losing hope. I have done everything that I can think of to be supportive. She has been drinking all of th...	london	9	691	May 5, 2012 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.