Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

gr8tful01 · gr8tful01

A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...

so_tired · so_tired

I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...

JD · JD

Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...

goldie7108 · goldie7108

Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I am ready to move on. After the suicide attempt last week, my AH is in 30 day treatment program. I know it is time to tell him we can't live under the same roof anymore. Does anyone have any advice on how you expressed this to your A in the most healthy way possible. I don't want to trudge out my laundry list of...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So I was prepared to have nice relaxing evening. Yes A was pissed I wouldn't allow his A friend to come A and drink in our home. So he left in mad rage to go see him 30 minutes away. Only 20 minutes later he walks back in the door. Tells me on and on that's it's our damn house and if he wants his friends over (they c...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

AH went back to a meeting last night after missing several weeks and relapsing. When he got home he was very open about his feelings and the "whys" and "what fors". I just listened. He told me he realized something yesterday. He's in an authority position being the bosses son. He...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I think I am having my first panic attack. The more I read about Florida divorce laws the more I am freaking out. The laws here are very unfriendly, no fault state. I am reading horror stories about people having to pay lifetime alimony - lifetime!! I admit I am panicking and I know this is premature but my...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

This is part of my reply from on one of my earlier posts... ..."Luckily he hadn't been drinking yesterday, he was in bed all day. After I got there with the kids he got up to say hi and back to bed he went and only got up to eat, not interacting with his kids at all. I had to work this morning and he got up to a...

debhud · debhud

hi everyone, i feel so alone. there is no intimacy in my marriage. husband is 2 years sober and active in aa. i am involved in alanon. i cannot figure out how to put the spark back into my marriage. we rarely touch, hug or kiss. sex once a year (and not very fulfilling) we live together like best fri...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Today is my birthday, no flowers, no parties, my gift was my AH trying to kill himself Tuesday, now he is tucked away in 30 day program, as usual the world is taking care of him. Who takes care of me? I went to the lawyer yesterday, he said that this is a long process, but ultimately my AH will not only get alim...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Hi everyone. I am feeling alittle down. I miss my girls so much. They are both back to school. Not only that I have been experiencing dizzy spells, at times I actually forget things. Like things I wouldn't. Which really has been scaring me. I am only 32 years old. Sense of familiarity seems to be distorte...

Steveareeno · Steveareeno

My wife just completed a 30 day inpatient treatment program. Before she went in our mariiage was disasterous. Infidelity (multiple times), drunk to the point of blacking out multiple time per week, frighteneing behavior when drinking, multiple attempts at suicide that came via text messages whi...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I recently took the step of getting a sponsor. It's a step that I feel is imporant in recovery. I asked them about 3 weeks ago after I had spoken at an open meeting and they agreed. I saw them at a meeting about 2 weeks later and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed. I shared so much about my lif...

jitsuka · jitsuka

I'm stressed out. And probably starting to get depressed. I've not progressed enough on my PhD to pass the first year and will write up what I've done for the past year as an MPhil, still a good qualification. I've been given 3 months money from the university to do this. Its been a massive shock I left a g...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

Why do I feel guilty? He's been in bed for 4 days so my son and I decide to go see a movie and go eat this afternoon. I asked AH if he wanted to go and he said no. So I am gone 20 minutes and he is calling trying to make me feel bad about leaving him alone. Why didn't I go get him some lunch and bring back to him before I w...

silent · silent

my a b/f came over to visit labor day drunk as a mop,i told him no that i wouldnt couldnt have a sexual relationship with him any more he got offensive of course and i told him that he was sooo drunk he used that as an excuse to leave and take what few other things he had left here with him,so ok,he lost his cell p...

callmemara · callmemara

Once he spends his whole paycheck, he starts pawning things and even panhandling to get money for alcohol. Yes, there is always money for drinks. ALWAYS! even if there is no money for rent. GRRR. I was expectingi t to be raining/storming big time when I woke up this morning but it wasn't. It's overcast a...

Ness · Ness

Hi my MIP family. I'm finding it tough these last few months but reading here keeps me supported. My husband's illness has kept him debilitated all summer, Im distressed at how diminished my big strong handsome guy has become..he goes for a heart procedure next week. The grief of our loss (death of our...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

We had a tradtion eight meeting at my home group this week. I have always liked this tradition and it's statement of Alanon as a program of equals. I'm not sure I would have kept coming back if people in Alanon meetings had exerted themselves as authorities of physical health, mental health, finance...

mehere80 · mehere80

Just need to get this out. Not sure why but I can't seem to find the voice or the words to say what I'm really feeling to my sponsor, or during group. It feels like I'm screaming but nothing is coming out. A very lonely place. Feeling very desperate and this is a way I know I can reach out, other than this I li...

Inuyami · Inuyami

As anyone who read the post i created yesterday knows; I am a non-drinker married to an 'AH' as this site calls it. Yesterday we had a very large fight and he placed hands on me. Fed up, angry and scared; I grabbed everything that belonged to me and moved back into my old room at my parents house. Today I a...

holivex · holivex

My AH has stolen from me. Run up huge debts. Driven intoxicated with my children many times. Been fired from his last three jobs. Been to detox, then immediately started drinking again. Been back to detox. Is now out for the second time and he's a dry drunk. Not drinking, but still behaving like...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

So today I ended up in chat. I had not felt well all day. Probably stress related. Well Grammie got me talking about my girls. Felt pretty proud. They are amazing children. I can go on and on about them. They are so sensitive, sweet, kind, courageous, caring and very communicative. They make my reason fo...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm reading posts and slowly things are starting to sink in .. lol .. I'm a slow learner, hard headed as all get out and a fast forgetter as I've heard told and I def fall into that catagory. The sharing stuff is really really hard. How to put that focus on me and not be focused on the A in my life. I'm real...

Kismet · Kismet

My AH has been in rehab for 30 days today and my life has been a rollercoaster. Some days I am happy and I cope fine but others, like today, I am raging. And I cannot control it. My dogs are cowering in their kennels. Everything my children do sends me over the edge. I am so angry at everything and I don't reall...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

It's going on 2 months of complete craziness with X-ABF. Starting on July 4th when he put the gun to his head. A lot more horrible things have happened since that day. After living together for 6 yrs I asked him to leave. I literally thought I was losing my mind and I had to separate, BUT it still feels like y...

Jill · Jill

I'm going to Paris soon. I'm excited. I love it there. For reasons I now question, I haven't been there in over 30 years. Can it really be that long? Dang! Since my teen yearsyears I've had a recurring dream that a trip to Paris has become available to me suddenly (LOL). I'm so thrilled -- and then somethin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so aware of how some holiday weekends are but this one took the cake! I see so much excessive drinking in my present home town that it is actually sad. Not everyone is an alcoholic but they sure try to be. In my hometown, we celebrate like none other. I am so glad that even though it is fun, I am glad it is ov...

jaybirdsmother · jaybirdsmother

I just found this site and felt a need to post my story. I am in such pain. I am having a hard time digging myself out of this deep dark hole of despair. My son died aug 3 of an overdose or so I think. Autosepsy will not come back for another 2 months. His father and I have been dealing with his addiction to prescr...

peacewithin · peacewithin

My AH quit for almost 2 months now. I don't know what made him quit drinking but this year I really detached and started being happy. I just turned 50 was not going to live like I have, sad, depresses, angry about life all the time so on my weekends off I planned something went away stayed at a hotel with my mo...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Yes, my life has changed a lot over 4 years. I can be at parties with alcohol. I can even have parties with alcohol being served. Thankfully most of our friends don't drink much. Yesterday, 2 people got wasted drunk at our party. 1 of them worse than the other. I had to go of into the bedroom to regrou...

Anxioussockmonkey · Anxioussockmonkey

Mom, This is a difficult email to write. I remember finding you passed out several times during my childhood. Once you were on the couch and for a moment I thought you were dead. I checked to see if you were breathing and after deciding you were alive I curled up at your feet and cried. I remember walkin...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello everyone, I have just joined this forum because I'm getting to my wits ends with my husband and his alcoholism. We've been married for a year now and together for three and a half. I knew about his drinking before we even began to date but had no idea how bad it was until much later in our relations...

MadMax · MadMax

My sister's coming home from rehab on Tuesday after only a week. A WEEK! After three years of spending more time drunk than sober and with drinking so much a part of her routine, what the hell good is a week in rehab going to do? I fully expected her to start drinking as soon as she came home but I thought my ni...

Neesabean · Neesabean

I just don't know what I should or should'nt be doing. My A son stays in his room for days on end. I know he is depressed. I know he is an addict/alcoholic and needs help. I know I'm enabling him allowing him to live here, he is 26, doesn't work because of all the "side effects" of alcohol and d...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

My AH is on day 3 of his inpatient treatment center. On day two he called me saying he couldn't wait to get home and be the best husband ever and he was really enjoying the program. He kept going on and on and when I suggested he needed to work on himself and not worry about me or our marriage he went right back t...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Could really use some thoughts...quick...husband is the alc, married 13 years. Sex life sucks...to me its just one more obligation ...to him its the world...aint that the way ladies. Hes had one affair...ive tried to move on..hes an active alc ... I try to cope....hes out 2_3times a week....to me, s...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Wondering today what have I actually accomplished. I left my relapsing AH who had actually done very little sobriety in the past year that things have really been bad. He has always drank too much (hidden much more than I even knew) and really went off the rails about 3 years ago. He has severe withdrawl...

LadyBug · LadyBug

BoundariesThis is one issue that I have always suffered with. I was not taught to develop these boundaries so growing up I had none. Now the people around me get uncomfortable when I establish them. For an example o have been fighting with my girlfriend for the last couple of days over the fact that I d...

Theemettaart · Theemettaart

Hi everyone, A few day's ago my sis (who's account i am using now) posted a message about my dad who is really ill. But now my mom has gone crazy. She started calling me (really drunk) to tell me i needed to come over and stay the night with her in bed (yes the bed my dad almost died in) i refused. Now she is real...

Anxioussockmonkey · Anxioussockmonkey

Ok, new 1st post. I'm 33. Grew up with alcoholic mother. I've been trying to break the cycle. I have been to therapy. I'm happily married and have three small children. I've never gotten into Al-non but I want desperately to understand and be able to cope with this problem. I want my children to have wha...

lisann09 · lisann09

I'm new to the forum. I am reaching out for some kind of help. I have a daughter that is an addict and can be better at times. She continues to practice bad behavior and live a high risk life style with the people she choices to be around. I have drawn boundaries and am doing best I can with staying postitive....

Anxioussockmonkey · Anxioussockmonkey

I've been searching the Internet reading posts. I think I'm starting to understand. I never could get why as the victim I needed to do a 12 step program. I feel like I'm just beginning to realize the brainwashing. I've got to keep my priorities straight. Protect my children from my mom's chaos. I've spe...

Rosie77 · Rosie77

Well I decided enough was enough! I left my AH on Friday night and we have decided that it's best to call time on our marriage. I'm going back to collect my things tomorrow. I'm on the road to recovery! It's going to be an up hill one but I think I have probably made the toughest decision already. Thank you...

holivex · holivex

So anyone who has read my posts knows that I'm not in the best place right now. AH left the detox unit of a local psychiatric hospital six days ago. While he was in there I had taken out a temporary protective order against him to prevent him from being able to return to our home upon discharge, as he had re...

tava · tava

Where does this group hold it's meetings?

shimo · shimo

I will be unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks

Gracie 2 · Gracie 2

I so badly want peace and serenity in my life!! How do you know when it's time to leave? Husband is an A and has no intention of getting help. He is actually a very sweet man and would never treat me poorly. He doesn't come home drunk anymore like he used to, he was a stumbling, getting sick, blackout d...

California · California

I am the 23 year old daughter of an alcoholic addict. I had what I would describe as an extremely healthy, happy childhood, I would go so far as to say a typical middle class American experience, as long as my father was in town. Whenever he would spend a weekend away, my mother got drunk, and stayed drunk...

lnc12 · lnc12

I haven't been here for a while, so I decided a little update was in order. My husband got out of the hospital (pancreatitis, infections in gall bladder and liver) 3 weeks ago tomorrow. He did not drink for 3 days, but then (unbeknownst to me) started again. He told me he was running an errand, and actuall...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I have really avoided being around or talking on the phone with my relapsing AH since we separated about 3 weeks ago. I have read Getting Them Sober and the whole family has really taken a tough love stance with him. Well, the isolation must be starting to get to him because last night he called and sounde...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I hope everyone is doing well today. I ask that your HP will touch all your lives and give you the answers you have been looking for. Please be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone. Hugs and more hugs. IP

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

A few of the members here PM'ed me about wanting to know about my follow up appointment with the marriage therapist. He still thinks I should put behavioral requests upon AH but he also admitted that it would probably backfire? UGH! Like that was helpful. He was also trying to get me to see how AH con...

JJ21 · JJ21

Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow and The Turmoil of Someone Elses drinking are great books on Amazon. Both were written by women who found themselves at Alanon's door. They both have tools to detach, get a life and get happy!!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Decision to separate and the calm that followed (Preview) A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...	gr8tful01	1	372	Sep 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Decision to divorce, and the calm that followed (Preview) Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...	Dolly Llama	9	523	Sep 7, 2012 by gr8tful01
	Sick since I left (Preview) Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...	Inuyami	7	472	Sep 7, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	My disease (Preview) I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...	Breakingfree	5	689	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	New Here (Preview) Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...	Gingerbread81	5	484	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Today A Little Tougher (Preview) Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...	Jozie	2	453	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	I am leaving my AH. (Preview) I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...	so_tired	11	621	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Punching Bag (Preview) Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...	JD	14	701	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	How much should I interfere? (Preview) Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...	goldie7108	6	576	Sep 6, 2012 by Diva
	What Words Did You Use to Tell Them It's Over (Preview) I am ready to move on. After the suicide attempt last week, my AH is in 30 day treatment program. I know it is time to tell him we can't live under the same roof anymore. Does anyone have any advice on how you expressed this to your A in the most healthy way possible. I don't want to trudge out my laundry list of...	TrudyS85	12	601	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	My Night (Preview) So I was prepared to have nice relaxing evening. Yes A was pissed I wouldn't allow his A friend to come A and drink in our home. So he left in mad rage to go see him 30 minutes away. Only 20 minutes later he walks back in the door. Tells me on and on that's it's our damn house and if he wants his friends over (they c...	InspiredPhotography	9	479	Sep 7, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Opening up (Preview) AH went back to a meeting last night after missing several weeks and relapsing. When he got home he was very open about his feelings and the "whys" and "what fors". I just listened. He told me he realized something yesterday. He's in an authority position being the bosses son. He...	JAMIE74	4	484	Sep 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Panic Attack (Preview) I think I am having my first panic attack. The more I read about Florida divorce laws the more I am freaking out. The laws here are very unfriendly, no fault state. I am reading horror stories about people having to pay lifetime alimony - lifetime!! I admit I am panicking and I know this is premature but my...	TrudyS85	2	344	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Hoping for a good day...so much for that (Preview) This is part of my reply from on one of my earlier posts... ..."Luckily he hadn't been drinking yesterday, he was in bed all day. After I got there with the kids he got up to say hi and back to bed he went and only got up to eat, not interacting with his kids at all. I had to work this morning and he got up to a...	JAMIE74	5	483	Sep 6, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	sober husband yet i am lonely... (Preview) hi everyone, i feel so alone. there is no intimacy in my marriage. husband is 2 years sober and active in aa. i am involved in alanon. i cannot figure out how to put the spark back into my marriage. we rarely touch, hug or kiss. sex once a year (and not very fulfilling) we live together like best fri...	debhud	7	843	Sep 6, 2012 by Samagi
	Today Is My Birthday - Life Sucks (Preview) Today is my birthday, no flowers, no parties, my gift was my AH trying to kill himself Tuesday, now he is tucked away in 30 day program, as usual the world is taking care of him. Who takes care of me? I went to the lawyer yesterday, he said that this is a long process, but ultimately my AH will not only get alim...	TrudyS85	13	723	Sep 6, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Just about Me (Preview) Hi everyone. I am feeling alittle down. I miss my girls so much. They are both back to school. Not only that I have been experiencing dizzy spells, at times I actually forget things. Like things I wouldn't. Which really has been scaring me. I am only 32 years old. Sense of familiarity seems to be distorte...	InspiredPhotography	3	344	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	general questions from someone just starting out (Preview) My wife just completed a 30 day inpatient treatment program. Before she went in our mariiage was disasterous. Infidelity (multiple times), drunk to the point of blacking out multiple time per week, frighteneing behavior when drinking, multiple attempts at suicide that came via text messages whi...	Steveareeno	7	525	Sep 6, 2012 by Steveareeno
	How often do you call your sponsor? (Preview) Hey Guys, I recently took the step of getting a sponsor. It's a step that I feel is imporant in recovery. I asked them about 3 weeks ago after I had spoken at an open meeting and they agreed. I saw them at a meeting about 2 weeks later and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I agreed. I shared so much about my lif...	slogan_jim	6	936	Sep 6, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Stressed out (Preview) I'm stressed out. And probably starting to get depressed. I've not progressed enough on my PhD to pass the first year and will write up what I've done for the past year as an MPhil, still a good qualification. I've been given 3 months money from the university to do this. Its been a massive shock I left a g...	jitsuka	1	430	Sep 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Guilty? (Preview) Why do I feel guilty? He's been in bed for 4 days so my son and I decide to go see a movie and go eat this afternoon. I asked AH if he wanted to go and he said no. So I am gone 20 minutes and he is calling trying to make me feel bad about leaving him alone. Why didn't I go get him some lunch and bring back to him before I w...	JAMIE74	13	542	Sep 6, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	stressed out (Preview) my a b/f came over to visit labor day drunk as a mop,i told him no that i wouldnt couldnt have a sexual relationship with him any more he got offensive of course and i told him that he was sooo drunk he used that as an excuse to leave and take what few other things he had left here with him,so ok,he lost his cell p...	silent	3	339	Sep 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Pawning things and panhandling (Preview) Once he spends his whole paycheck, he starts pawning things and even panhandling to get money for alcohol. Yes, there is always money for drinks. ALWAYS! even if there is no money for rent. GRRR. I was expectingi t to be raining/storming big time when I woke up this morning but it wasn't. It's overcast a...	callmemara	12	682	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	Hi (Preview) Hi my MIP family. I'm finding it tough these last few months but reading here keeps me supported. My husband's illness has kept him debilitated all summer, Im distressed at how diminished my big strong handsome guy has become..he goes for a heart procedure next week. The grief of our loss (death of our...	Ness	8	525	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I like Tradition Eight (Preview) We had a tradtion eight meeting at my home group this week. I have always liked this tradition and it's statement of Alanon as a program of equals. I'm not sure I would have kept coming back if people in Alanon meetings had exerted themselves as authorities of physical health, mental health, finance...	tiredtonite	4	539	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	Gotta get this off my chest (Preview) Just need to get this out. Not sure why but I can't seem to find the voice or the words to say what I'm really feeling to my sponsor, or during group. It feels like I'm screaming but nothing is coming out. A very lonely place. Feeling very desperate and this is a way I know I can reach out, other than this I li...	mehere80	5	549	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I need advice (Preview) As anyone who read the post i created yesterday knows; I am a non-drinker married to an 'AH' as this site calls it. Yesterday we had a very large fight and he placed hands on me. Fed up, angry and scared; I grabbed everything that belonged to me and moved back into my old room at my parents house. Today I a...	Inuyami	6	525	Sep 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I hate my life (Preview) My AH has stolen from me. Run up huge debts. Driven intoxicated with my children many times. Been fired from his last three jobs. Been to detox, then immediately started drinking again. Been back to detox. Is now out for the second time and he's a dry drunk. Not drinking, but still behaving like...	holivex	11	594	Sep 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thank You Grammie (Preview) So today I ended up in chat. I had not felt well all day. Probably stress related. Well Grammie got me talking about my girls. Felt pretty proud. They are amazing children. I can go on and on about them. They are so sensitive, sweet, kind, courageous, caring and very communicative. They make my reason fo...	InspiredPhotography	5	275	Sep 5, 2012 by grammie
	I don't know why?? (Preview) I'm reading posts and slowly things are starting to sink in .. lol .. I'm a slow learner, hard headed as all get out and a fast forgetter as I've heard told and I def fall into that catagory. The sharing stuff is really really hard. How to put that focus on me and not be focused on the A in my life. I'm real...	Pushka	15	556	Sep 5, 2012 by pinkchip
	So much anger! (Preview) My AH has been in rehab for 30 days today and my life has been a rollercoaster. Some days I am happy and I cope fine but others, like today, I am raging. And I cannot control it. My dogs are cowering in their kennels. Everything my children do sends me over the edge. I am so angry at everything and I don't reall...	Kismet	7	563	Sep 5, 2012 by Kismet
	Letting Go..... so hard (Preview) It's going on 2 months of complete craziness with X-ABF. Starting on July 4th when he put the gun to his head. A lot more horrible things have happened since that day. After living together for 6 yrs I asked him to leave. I literally thought I was losing my mind and I had to separate, BUT it still feels like y...	IWannaFly	11	1492	Sep 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recurring Dream Re-written (Preview) I'm going to Paris soon. I'm excited. I love it there. For reasons I now question, I haven't been there in over 30 years. Can it really be that long? Dang! Since my teen yearsyears I've had a recurring dream that a trip to Paris has become available to me suddenly (LOL). I'm so thrilled -- and then somethin...	Jill	3	381	Sep 5, 2012 by pineapple
	did anyone notice how crazy Labor Day weekend is? (Preview) I am so aware of how some holiday weekends are but this one took the cake! I see so much excessive drinking in my present home town that it is actually sad. Not everyone is an alcoholic but they sure try to be. In my hometown, we celebrate like none other. I am so glad that even though it is fun, I am glad it is ov...	Hoot Nanny	3	395	Sep 5, 2012 by pineapple
	Son dies of an overdose at 33 (Preview) I just found this site and felt a need to post my story. I am in such pain. I am having a hard time digging myself out of this deep dark hole of despair. My son died aug 3 of an overdose or so I think. Autosepsy will not come back for another 2 months. His father and I have been dealing with his addiction to prescr...	jaybirdsmother	30	927	Sep 5, 2012 by Redwing
	What Makes Them Quit ? (Preview) My AH quit for almost 2 months now. I don't know what made him quit drinking but this year I really detached and started being happy. I just turned 50 was not going to live like I have, sad, depresses, angry about life all the time so on my weekends off I planned something went away stayed at a hotel with my mo...	peacewithin	5	459	Sep 5, 2012 by peacewithin
	At my labor day party... (Preview) Yes, my life has changed a lot over 4 years. I can be at parties with alcohol. I can even have parties with alcohol being served. Thankfully most of our friends don't drink much. Yesterday, 2 people got wasted drunk at our party. 1 of them worse than the other. I had to go of into the bedroom to regrou...	pinkchip	6	475	Sep 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Email to my mother (Preview) Mom, This is a difficult email to write. I remember finding you passed out several times during my childhood. Once you were on the couch and for a moment I thought you were dead. I checked to see if you were breathing and after deciding you were alive I curled up at your feet and cried. I remember walkin...	Anxioussockmonkey	9	425	Sep 5, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Fed up and ready to walk away! (Preview) Hello everyone, I have just joined this forum because I'm getting to my wits ends with my husband and his alcoholism. We've been married for a year now and together for three and a half. I knew about his drinking before we even began to date but had no idea how bad it was until much later in our relations...	Inuyami	8	593	Sep 5, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	GOD HELP ME (Preview) My sister's coming home from rehab on Tuesday after only a week. A WEEK! After three years of spending more time drunk than sober and with drinking so much a part of her routine, what the hell good is a week in rehab going to do? I fully expected her to start drinking as soon as she came home but I thought my ni...	MadMax	11	574	Sep 5, 2012 by MadMax
	Should I be doing something??? (Preview) I just don't know what I should or should'nt be doing. My A son stays in his room for days on end. I know he is depressed. I know he is an addict/alcoholic and needs help. I know I'm enabling him allowing him to live here, he is 26, doesn't work because of all the "side effects" of alcohol and d...	Neesabean	10	649	Sep 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	So Lost and Confused (Preview) My AH is on day 3 of his inpatient treatment center. On day two he called me saying he couldn't wait to get home and be the best husband ever and he was really enjoying the program. He kept going on and on and when I suggested he needed to work on himself and not worry about me or our marriage he went right back t...	TrudyS85	5	459	Sep 4, 2012 by Jerry F
	Sex/intimacy and the alc marriage (Preview) Could really use some thoughts...quick...husband is the alc, married 13 years. Sex life sucks...to me its just one more obligation ...to him its the world...aint that the way ladies. Hes had one affair...ive tried to move on..hes an active alc ... I try to cope....hes out 2_3times a week....to me, s...	Theoceancalls	20	768	Sep 4, 2012 by lovestoread
	In Limbo (Preview) Wondering today what have I actually accomplished. I left my relapsing AH who had actually done very little sobriety in the past year that things have really been bad. He has always drank too much (hidden much more than I even knew) and really went off the rails about 3 years ago. He has severe withdrawl...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	546	Sep 4, 2012 by pinkchip
	Boundaries (Preview) BoundariesThis is one issue that I have always suffered with. I was not taught to develop these boundaries so growing up I had none. Now the people around me get uncomfortable when I establish them. For an example o have been fighting with my girlfriend for the last couple of days over the fact that I d...	LadyBug	6	669	Sep 3, 2012 by LadyBug
	Need to vent my feelings, my mom has gone crazy (Preview) Hi everyone, A few day's ago my sis (who's account i am using now) posted a message about my dad who is really ill. But now my mom has gone crazy. She started calling me (really drunk) to tell me i needed to come over and stay the night with her in bed (yes the bed my dad almost died in) i refused. Now she is real...	Theemettaart	2	461	Sep 3, 2012 by Theemettaart
	I really need some help. Crazy drunk mother. What to do. (Preview) Ok, new 1st post. I'm 33. Grew up with alcoholic mother. I've been trying to break the cycle. I have been to therapy. I'm happily married and have three small children. I've never gotten into Al-non but I want desperately to understand and be able to cope with this problem. I want my children to have wha...	Anxioussockmonkey	2	2806	Sep 3, 2012 by Theemettaart
	Detaching from addicted daughter (Preview) I'm new to the forum. I am reaching out for some kind of help. I have a daughter that is an addict and can be better at times. She continues to practice bad behavior and live a high risk life style with the people she choices to be around. I have drawn boundaries and am doing best I can with staying postitive....	lisann09	4	1091	Sep 3, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Alcoholic childhood is brainwashing. (Preview) I've been searching the Internet reading posts. I think I'm starting to understand. I never could get why as the victim I needed to do a 12 step program. I feel like I'm just beginning to realize the brainwashing. I've got to keep my priorities straight. Protect my children from my mom's chaos. I've spe...	Anxioussockmonkey	6	2292	Sep 3, 2012 by Anxioussockmonkey
	I'm off (Preview) Well I decided enough was enough! I left my AH on Friday night and we have decided that it's best to call time on our marriage. I'm going back to collect my things tomorrow. I'm on the road to recovery! It's going to be an up hill one but I think I have probably made the toughest decision already. Thank you...	Rosie77	6	369	Sep 3, 2012 by pinkchip
	Not sure what to do- wdyt? (Preview) So anyone who has read my posts knows that I'm not in the best place right now. AH left the detox unit of a local psychiatric hospital six days ago. While he was in there I had taken out a temporary protective order against him to prevent him from being able to return to our home upon discharge, as he had re...	holivex	9	601	Sep 3, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Monday Meeting (Preview) Where does this group hold it's meetings?	tava	5	364	Sep 3, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I will be unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks	shimo	0	256	Sep 2, 2012 by shimo
	When is it time to say goodbye? (Preview) I so badly want peace and serenity in my life!! How do you know when it's time to leave? Husband is an A and has no intention of getting help. He is actually a very sweet man and would never treat me poorly. He doesn't come home drunk anymore like he used to, he was a stumbling, getting sick, blackout d...	Gracie 2	11	728	Sep 2, 2012 by rose903
	Mental Disease and Forgiveness alcohol psychosis alcohol demential psychatric help selfish alcoholic-addict (Preview) I am the 23 year old daughter of an alcoholic addict. I had what I would describe as an extremely healthy, happy childhood, I would go so far as to say a typical middle class American experience, as long as my father was in town. Whenever he would spend a weekend away, my mother got drunk, and stayed drunk...	California	12	772	Sep 2, 2012 by callmemara
	Doing well despite all of the bad (Preview) I haven't been here for a while, so I decided a little update was in order. My husband got out of the hospital (pancreatitis, infections in gall bladder and liver) 3 weeks ago tomorrow. He did not drink for 3 days, but then (unbeknownst to me) started again. He told me he was running an errand, and actuall...	lnc12	3	421	Sep 2, 2012 by lovestoread
	Can't Believe I Almost Fell For It Again (Preview) I have really avoided being around or talking on the phone with my relapsing AH since we separated about 3 weeks ago. I have read Getting Them Sober and the whole family has really taken a tough love stance with him. Well, the isolation must be starting to get to him because last night he called and sounde...	WornOutMrsFixIt	8	504	Sep 2, 2012 by lovestoread
	For you (Preview) I hope everyone is doing well today. I ask that your HP will touch all your lives and give you the answers you have been looking for. Please be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone. Hugs and more hugs. IP	InspiredPhotography	3	338	Sep 2, 2012 by pineapple
	Update on marriage counseling (Preview) A few of the members here PM'ed me about wanting to know about my follow up appointment with the marriage therapist. He still thinks I should put behavioral requests upon AH but he also admitted that it would probably backfire? UGH! Like that was helpful. He was also trying to get me to see how AH con...	ilovedogs	3	587	Sep 1, 2012 by Pushka
	Good Books (Preview) Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow and The Turmoil of Someone Elses drinking are great books on Amazon. Both were written by women who found themselves at Alanon's door. They both have tools to detach, get a life and get happy!!	JJ21	1	297	Sep 1, 2012 by lovestoread
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.