Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Freja · Freja

I'm starting to wonder if the disease is really starting to take a stronger hold on my hubby. I don't keep tabs on his drinking usually but I think I've definitely been noticing an increase unlike anythng I've seen before. I'm just fact-gathering for if/when I have opportunity to have a constructive c...

frsba · frsba

I feel so bad it was a few months ago. I have such great guilt and feeling of betrayal to her. She has not talked to me since, I think she has been though a recovery with counselling and free of heroin but not knowing is just so heartbreaking to me not to be able to communicate with someone I spent every oth...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It was great. It was actually a Nar-Anon meeting but that's because my son is an addict. I found alanon years ago, right here, because of my AH. But the fact is I just needed a program for ME. So I believe that I should do both so that I can relate my situation best to each group. I was grateful to find a Nar-Ano...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. I would like to share on the slogan 'This to Shall Pass' Tonight, I decided to become the GR of my home group. It's something I look forward to and a challenge that I am excited to take on. I have thought about it for awhile, consulted with other...

NCLadybug · NCLadybug

My AH says he has not had anything to drink. 6 days ago he drank some beer when a buddy stopped by the house. I thought something was fishy. I asked if he had been drinking. He said no. I could smell it on his breath. He admitted to just a swallow, not the whole can. For ages, seems like several years, AH...

LarryWhiteford · LarryWhiteford

Offering advice, directly speaking to an individual member instead of the group, Cross Talk is not referring to someones share if you are moved by it or if it reminds you of your own experience. Nor is sharing your own experience in response to a share. We try to avoid offering unsolicited advice or ins...

silent · silent

my a mother after 2 yrs of haveing nothing to do with me is now in much need to use me agin,well she needs a haircut my a wants me to over to her house to cut her hair and she will pay me,ugh no this i dont want to do at all its not worth it to me but i havent the guts to even answer my a ph. calls,cause i dont know how to t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Ok his name is Charlie. This guy loved me from the minute he saw me. How did I know? He got right next to me and gave me his full attention. I was a gonner. It's been so fun, lotsa laughs, going for walks. He hangs out when I clear out the yucky bushes and stuff up here,or relaxes on the deck with me. Never, every...

debhud · debhud

i don't want to get into too many details. son signed out of rehab. because i am blessed with this program, i am remaining serene about his decision. however my elderly parents who are very close to him are just devastated. i saw them age before my eyes. my mother just about cried as she is so upset. ...

Diva · Diva

He loves cats. He has two. He dotes on them. I love cats too...and dogs...I love their company...I prefer theirs to his. It has dawned on me after all these years that he has no human feelings. No caring, no empathy, no feelings of any kind toward other people except hate. So sad. I shake my head an...

Ness · Ness

Its almost 5am here in Scotland, Ive just returned from our local A&E where Ive been since midnight, my husband has had a stroke. He lost power on his left side but has slowly regained some movement and is somewhat stabilisedthankfully he has had no brain bleed. Ive just had enough enough enough. I...

UK Jane · UK Jane

Hi, Thanks to wp, I have finally managed to get access into the meeting/chat room. I'd really like to attend some meetings, I just wondered if someone in the USA can please tell me if you are in day light saving time or standard time at the moment because this will inform me whether to add 5 or 6 hours onto G...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Well my AH gave me warning he was going to drink on our Anniversery I went to bed at 8:50am he was drinking by 10:00am. My son came home and he asked dad if that was breakfast. Dad got imbaressed and threw the rest out. The whole top shelf of a refrig. Then he came and awoke me up crying saying he was sorry he cou...

Shazu · Shazu

Hello, I am new here, this is my first post. When I met my ex husband (we are separated), he had quit drinking. His nephew had just been born, and he wanted to be a good role model for him. My ex was a great guy, very caring, compassionate, friendly...we fell in love, got married, and slowly he started drink...

Pushka · Pushka

Yes, I have a funny story about being denied and it was by a website no less!!! Geeze, .. if only I could swing like this when it came from actual people I'd be a rockstar in detachment .. LOL!!! Anyway, God thinks He's very funny .. and I needed a lesson in my own words biting me in the behind. I decided I wo...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Now that my A is finally in a treatment center, I have decided after 10 years of addiction and abuse that it was time for me to separate from him. Of course, he is playing the victim to his family, that I am deserting him in his time of need. Let me be clear, I have only asked for a separation to work on ourselve...

pineapple · pineapple

My A is finally gone. It's almost two weeks now. The first week was really tough, cried my eyes out for days. The second week has been a little better. I'm still sad that things ended the way they did. I still miss the lovely, kind, generous man my A used to be. I still think of and miss the early years when thi...

JJ21 · JJ21

So has anyone been able to remain friends with the Ex. Mine seems to think we can be friends now that I get that he loves me, but won't quit drinking, and our differences will cause us to fight so we can't be together. Wants to call me with all his problems now and tell me how he's ready to give up because of al...

holivex · holivex

After my having kicked him out two months ago and his having nearly died and then subsequently being hospitalized in a detox/rehab facility, my husband has now been sober three weeks (out of the hospital for two), is doing the 90 meetings in 90 days, and starts outside therapy and psychiatric treatme...

Jozie · Jozie

This has been a Week to Practice.. Practice... Practice & its only Wens! I at times can get to place & ask WHY ME? and as I start to see the Light at the end of the tunnel growing further & further away... HOWEVER! This has been a Humbling week to say the least... My Momma has taking on some Healt...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Right now I am coloring my hair - ha, you needed to know that eh? last night I got home from a 480 mile driving job at 12:30 am, drank a glass of wine and watched Dr. Who to unwind (and negate the effects of the caffeine I'd had earlier to be awake during the trip) and truly enjoyed just being in my own living roo...

kissers · kissers

Haven't been here for a long while. I've been trying to deal with things on my own. Things have gotten progressively worse, as the months have gone by. I don't think I have ever felt so bad about myself. I have felt so terribly ugly, out of shape, fat, undesirable. It has come to a screeching halt recently...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I need spill my guts here. So here it goes. I have always been very kind to people. I never try to put them down in any way or be rude. I go the extra mile. I give without reservation. I even give free photo shoots per month (people draw), sometimes I even just do it for free (because I know someone is really str...

UK Jane · UK Jane

Hi, I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place. I can't get into the chat room (well it's the meetings I really want to access.) When I try I get an error message that says "start up error Java lang error" Can anyone please advise me what I need to do. Thanks Jane

pikelpak · pikelpak

Hi all, I am in Al-Anon since a few months and I have searched and prayed for a sponsor for a while. One friend, who is going to many meetings and was there when I felt really bad at the beginning of my journey, almost became "the one". Our relationship was almost like the one of a sponsor and sp...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Last night I went on facebook and my bf had a picture of him and a friend of his, she was beautiful and they were at a school party together with an hawaiin theme and it was titled getting Leighed with him and her name. They have studied together and are friends from him going to school for the last year. The p...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Today was one of the hardest days since I left my AH on monday. After calling for divorce papers yesterday, my mind has once again gone back to the 'on the fence' possitions. I feel so confused between the concepts of Re-acting and Acting. I've gone from feeling that I want a divorce as a reaction to his d...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

Hey everyone. I haven't been on much. I have been so busy. I have a photo shoot today! I am so excited!!! Last few days it has rained! Today is looking like a beautiful cloudy day with a tad bit of rays! I babysat for a close friend lastnight, she is taking my girls today for a few hours (before she works toni...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I was scared, nervous and about to be sick. But after the emotional roller coaster I've been through these past 2 days, I knew it was the place to be. I actually made the mistake of going to the wrong side of the building and I was greeted by a very large welcoming group of people that thought I was there...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

This seems to be a pattern lately. We go somewhere, party, lakeside fire, etc, as a family and I come home with my child and somtimes others while the drinkers party the night away. Its odd..when I get home, I LOVE the peace and quiet and the responsibility of caring for and putting kids safely to bed. But...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to try today not to be negative. I have every opportunity to send positive messages on this forum. After all, life is too short to be negative. My Ah & I have had some trying moments lately because I have been so negative & took all my stress out on him. I am working on not putting him down &...

wilson12 · wilson12

Hello! Just needed some advice on a current situation. Anyways to keep it brief my mom just got out of rehab a little over a month ago for alcohol and prescription drugs (xanax). This is the 4th time shes been to rehab, so I was optimistic it would actually work this time. She has a sponsor, and has been att...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Well My AH quit about 2 months ago this morning he comes home and tell me well tomorrow is our anniversery (34YRS) and the football games on i'd like to have a few beers I reminded him my bounderys I Made If he had that 1 drink i'm filing for divorce he did not remember yeah right he did not remember. I HATE THI...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I set a boundary and I stuck to it. I did wind up leaving work early and I came home and made him leave. Not only did he buy "two tallboys" like he assured me... he bought the other 4 as well. They were all gone. Arguement ensued yet I kept my composure (for most of it) I kept telling him to l...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Needed to come here to vent. Maybe if I do this, others will stop and learn to protect themselves from this horrible disease. I had NO idea what being an addict meant, or how a person cannot have a usual marriage with one. I had been widowed 18 years, super independant. I had to work hard at being a wife like...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I DID IT! Drove over to treatment center yesterday for first 'counseling session', I have been reading "CoDependent No More" and was ready. I calmly stated I needed a separation for myself, I was not comfortable living with him, and that even though he is saying he will 'work on it to be th...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50726032/tradition-10-alanon/

Gabriel9877 · Gabriel9877

My sister has an alcohol problem and I'd like to discuss it with her to find out if she'd like help. The problem is, I don't know how bad her alcohol problem is, as I don't live with her. This is relevant, because I don't know if quitting will throw her into serious withdrawal symptoms. She doesn't hav...

LadyBug · LadyBug

So i aske dsomeone to sponsor me. She told me the following week at the next meting that she has just been really busy :/ I really do not know her that well and i want to start the steps but she seems unavailbale and i feel like i am imposing if i call her. I know it may just be my insecurities but i feel more comfo...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Yesterday I battled with the choice on weather or not I should call my county court house to begin the paper work for a divorce. But as the title spoils, I made the final decision today. Dispite my annitial re-action to put of my choice until he got 'better', as of last night my mind has been made up. I canno...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hello, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am 28 years old and have been a member for 2.5 years. I would like to share on my life experiences with the women in my life and alcoholism has affected my perception. I grew up in a home where my father was the alcoholic. My mom developed sc...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I have not been on here in quite a while. It's been tough to come back to the board since my mentor passed away and he meant a lot to me and always made me see what was right in front of my face. Also he always made me realize that I was to take care of myself first. Well he's gone now but his lessons live on. But st...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Today was the first day of kindergarten for our oldest. My wife and I and our 3 year old took her to the bus stop and spent some time with the other parents waiting for the bus. My daughter was very excited and smiling and happy and before we knew it, she was on the bus and gone. All day, I have felt extremely em...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Just got in an arguement with AH when I went home for lunch. He's currently out of work (still).... He told me as a threat before I left... "Guess I'll be going to the store today"... ie beer run. He's been sober for quite some time. Long story short I spoke to him once while he was at the sto...

silent · silent

i drove over by where he is liveing while he was at work,and his freind told me that my a was back to work and that he told him that he "my a" was gonna mess around and lose his job and truck ,my a told him yes he knew that.so for now i guess im safe with the truck,it worries me though that he might end up...

katfshh · katfshh

Hi Everyone! I have been gone for a few weeks. We went on vacation and had a wondeful time on the cruise. My son (13) was in heaven. We wound up going with some friends, so my son had a buddy. It was a 7 day cruise, Mexican Rivera. It was orignially going to be my honeymoon with the ex. When I got back I have bee...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I think I said it alll in the subject heading. I have a lot of anxiety today. But if I look ahead to the possibilties I might actually have a good day. I have almost constant scalp itch. It went away but is definitely back! I use a solution that is strictly for the scalp. I use it every night before bedtime. It...

InspiredPhotography · InspiredPhotography

I decided to get creative LOL. I am making some tomato vegtable sausage soup! Smells so good! Only thing I just wished I had not run out of rice :) What is everyone planning for supper tonight? -- Edited by InspiredPhotography on Thursday 6th of September 2012 04:07:58 PM

Stevie · Stevie

Hi. It's good to find a place to talk to people who are living with an alcoholic loved one. I've been married to my husband for 13 yrs and I was aware that he drank but unaware of the extent of his addiction. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to help my husband by encouraging him to go to therapy, by going to coup...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm so hurt and angry with my a/a daughter, her 7y.o. daughter has been living with her dad for almost 2yrs. now because she was to lazy to get up and take her to school. 2 wks ago she let her 17y.o. go live with them (step-father) 4 1/2hrs. away. He wanted to go, and has a good relationship with his step-fa...

Hopeful06 · Hopeful06

So finally, after 2 years of off and on again with my ABF, I've ended things. I've done it so many times before, however this time feels different to me. I'm ready to fight for my sanity, to not get swept up in the dysfunction of trying to make him feel better about himself in the midst of seriously destruct...

gr8tful01 · gr8tful01

A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...

so_tired · so_tired

I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...

JD · JD

Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...

goldie7108 · goldie7108

Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Please share your experience (Preview) I'm starting to wonder if the disease is really starting to take a stronger hold on my hubby. I don't keep tabs on his drinking usually but I think I've definitely been noticing an increase unlike anythng I've seen before. I'm just fact-gathering for if/when I have opportunity to have a constructive c...	Freja	10	581	Sep 11, 2012 by Country Boy
	I wrote a letter about injecting heroin to the parents of an escort I fell in love with. (Preview) I feel so bad it was a few months ago. I have such great guilt and feeling of betrayal to her. She has not talked to me since, I think she has been though a recovery with counselling and free of heroin but not knowing is just so heartbreaking to me not to be able to communicate with someone I spent every oth...	frsba	9	658	Sep 11, 2012 by frsba
	First F2F meeting last night!!! (Preview) It was great. It was actually a Nar-Anon meeting but that's because my son is an addict. I found alanon years ago, right here, because of my AH. But the fact is I just needed a program for ME. So I believe that I should do both so that I can relate my situation best to each group. I was grateful to find a Nar-Ano...	wildthang86	3	634	Sep 11, 2012 by canadianguy
	This to shall pass. (share) (Preview) Hi, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. I would like to share on the slogan 'This to Shall Pass' Tonight, I decided to become the GR of my home group. It's something I look forward to and a challenge that I am excited to take on. I have thought about it for awhile, consulted with other...	slogan_jim	5	790	Sep 11, 2012 by Kismet
	Wondering if AH has really stopped... (Preview) My AH says he has not had anything to drink. 6 days ago he drank some beer when a buddy stopped by the house. I thought something was fishy. I asked if he had been drinking. He said no. I could smell it on his breath. He admitted to just a swallow, not the whole can. For ages, seems like several years, AH...	NCLadybug	5	643	Sep 11, 2012 by Jackie11
	What is crosstalking? (Preview) Offering advice, directly speaking to an individual member instead of the group, Cross Talk is not referring to someones share if you are moved by it or if it reminds you of your own experience. Nor is sharing your own experience in response to a share. We try to avoid offering unsolicited advice or ins...	LarryWhiteford	12	3457	Sep 11, 2012 by bl
	feeling so drained from not being able to voice myself. (Preview) my a mother after 2 yrs of haveing nothing to do with me is now in much need to use me agin,well she needs a haircut my a wants me to over to her house to cut her hair and she will pay me,ugh no this i dont want to do at all its not worth it to me but i havent the guts to even answer my a ph. calls,cause i dont know how to t...	silent	3	433	Sep 11, 2012 by silent
	red flags of a new relationship... sigh (Preview) Ok his name is Charlie. This guy loved me from the minute he saw me. How did I know? He got right next to me and gave me his full attention. I was a gonner. It's been so fun, lotsa laughs, going for walks. He hangs out when I clear out the yucky bushes and stuff up here,or relaxes on the deck with me. Never, every...	Debilyn	11	687	Sep 11, 2012 by tiredtonite
	alcoholic son signed out of rehab. i'm ok... (Preview) i don't want to get into too many details. son signed out of rehab. because i am blessed with this program, i am remaining serene about his decision. however my elderly parents who are very close to him are just devastated. i saw them age before my eyes. my mother just about cried as she is so upset. ...	debhud	3	527	Sep 11, 2012 by Debilyn
	The man has no human feelings. (Preview) He loves cats. He has two. He dotes on them. I love cats too...and dogs...I love their company...I prefer theirs to his. It has dawned on me after all these years that he has no human feelings. No caring, no empathy, no feelings of any kind toward other people except hate. So sad. I shake my head an...	Diva	8	949	Sep 11, 2012 by Debilyn
	Update......in a bad place. (Preview) Its almost 5am here in Scotland, Ive just returned from our local A&E where Ive been since midnight, my husband has had a stroke. He lost power on his left side but has slowly regained some movement and is somewhat stabilisedthankfully he has had no brain bleed. Ive just had enough enough enough. I...	Ness	10	875	Sep 11, 2012 by oldergal
	Meeting times (Preview) Hi, Thanks to wp, I have finally managed to get access into the meeting/chat room. I'd really like to attend some meetings, I just wondered if someone in the USA can please tell me if you are in day light saving time or standard time at the moment because this will inform me whether to add 5 or 6 hours onto G...	UK Jane	4	414	Sep 10, 2012 by UK Jane
	Need Your Knowlege (Preview) Well my AH gave me warning he was going to drink on our Anniversery I went to bed at 8:50am he was drinking by 10:00am. My son came home and he asked dad if that was breakfast. Dad got imbaressed and threw the rest out. The whole top shelf of a refrig. Then he came and awoke me up crying saying he was sorry he cou...	peacewithin	4	394	Sep 10, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	New Here. (Preview) Hello, I am new here, this is my first post. When I met my ex husband (we are separated), he had quit drinking. His nephew had just been born, and he wanted to be a good role model for him. My ex was a great guy, very caring, compassionate, friendly...we fell in love, got married, and slowly he started drink...	Shazu	5	616	Sep 10, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	DENIED :) LOL!!! (Preview) Yes, I have a funny story about being denied and it was by a website no less!!! Geeze, .. if only I could swing like this when it came from actual people I'd be a rockstar in detachment .. LOL!!! Anyway, God thinks He's very funny .. and I needed a lesson in my own words biting me in the behind. I decided I wo...	Pushka	5	532	Sep 10, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	How Do You Deal With A's Family That Blames You (Preview) Now that my A is finally in a treatment center, I have decided after 10 years of addiction and abuse that it was time for me to separate from him. Of course, he is playing the victim to his family, that I am deserting him in his time of need. Let me be clear, I have only asked for a separation to work on ourselve...	TrudyS85	11	941	Sep 10, 2012 by Jackie11
	The end. And the beginning. (Preview) My A is finally gone. It's almost two weeks now. The first week was really tough, cried my eyes out for days. The second week has been a little better. I'm still sad that things ended the way they did. I still miss the lovely, kind, generous man my A used to be. I still think of and miss the early years when thi...	pineapple	9	545	Sep 10, 2012 by Jackie11
	Is Friendship with the ExA Possible? (Preview) So has anyone been able to remain friends with the Ex. Mine seems to think we can be friends now that I get that he loves me, but won't quit drinking, and our differences will cause us to fight so we can't be together. Wants to call me with all his problems now and tell me how he's ready to give up because of al...	JJ21	7	618	Sep 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How do you know if you can trust them again? (Preview) After my having kicked him out two months ago and his having nearly died and then subsequently being hospitalized in a detox/rehab facility, my husband has now been sober three weeks (out of the hospital for two), is doing the 90 meetings in 90 days, and starts outside therapy and psychiatric treatme...	holivex	11	659	Sep 10, 2012 by Diva
	Doing My Best to Follow HP's Lead! (Preview) This has been a Week to Practice.. Practice... Practice & its only Wens! I at times can get to place & ask WHY ME? and as I start to see the Light at the end of the tunnel growing further & further away... HOWEVER! This has been a Humbling week to say the least... My Momma has taking on some Healt...	Jozie	4	444	Sep 10, 2012 by Jozie
	An unencumbered life (Preview) Right now I am coloring my hair - ha, you needed to know that eh? last night I got home from a 480 mile driving job at 12:30 am, drank a glass of wine and watched Dr. Who to unwind (and negate the effects of the caffeine I'd had earlier to be awake during the trip) and truly enjoyed just being in my own living roo...	likemyheart	4	602	Sep 10, 2012 by Pushka
	I Feel So Ugly (Preview) Haven't been here for a long while. I've been trying to deal with things on my own. Things have gotten progressively worse, as the months have gone by. I don't think I have ever felt so bad about myself. I have felt so terribly ugly, out of shape, fat, undesirable. It has come to a screeching halt recently...	kissers	12	649	Sep 10, 2012 by dragonflys
	:( (Preview) I need spill my guts here. So here it goes. I have always been very kind to people. I never try to put them down in any way or be rude. I go the extra mile. I give without reservation. I even give free photo shoots per month (people draw), sometimes I even just do it for free (because I know someone is really str...	InspiredPhotography	7	733	Sep 9, 2012 by UK Jane
	Meeting/chat room - error (Preview) Hi, I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place. I can't get into the chat room (well it's the meetings I really want to access.) When I try I get an error message that says "start up error Java lang error" Can anyone please advise me what I need to do. Thanks Jane	UK Jane	5	332	Sep 9, 2012 by UK Jane
	Disappointed by Al-Anon friend (Preview) Hi all, I am in Al-Anon since a few months and I have searched and prayed for a sponsor for a while. One friend, who is going to many meetings and was there when I felt really bad at the beginning of my journey, almost became "the one". Our relationship was almost like the one of a sponsor and sp...	pikelpak	5	753	Sep 9, 2012 by pikelpak
	I created my first crisis with the bf (Preview) Last night I went on facebook and my bf had a picture of him and a friend of his, she was beautiful and they were at a school party together with an hawaiin theme and it was titled getting Leighed with him and her name. They have studied together and are friends from him going to school for the last year. The p...	Breakingfree	12	714	Sep 9, 2012 by likemyheart
	Feel like I'm losing my mind!!! (Preview) Today was one of the hardest days since I left my AH on monday. After calling for divorce papers yesterday, my mind has once again gone back to the 'on the fence' possitions. I feel so confused between the concepts of Re-acting and Acting. I've gone from feeling that I want a divorce as a reaction to his d...	Inuyami	7	633	Sep 9, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Brand New Day! (Preview) Hey everyone. I haven't been on much. I have been so busy. I have a photo shoot today! I am so excited!!! Last few days it has rained! Today is looking like a beautiful cloudy day with a tad bit of rays! I babysat for a close friend lastnight, she is taking my girls today for a few hours (before she works toni...	InspiredPhotography	1	310	Sep 9, 2012 by pineapple
	Went to my first F2F tonight... (Preview) I was scared, nervous and about to be sick. But after the emotional roller coaster I've been through these past 2 days, I knew it was the place to be. I actually made the mistake of going to the wrong side of the building and I was greeted by a very large welcoming group of people that thought I was there...	ELEKTRAWMN	3	489	Sep 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Friday nite...im home, hes out Mom guilt seperate but together alc marriage (Preview) This seems to be a pattern lately. We go somewhere, party, lakeside fire, etc, as a family and I come home with my child and somtimes others while the drinkers party the night away. Its odd..when I get home, I LOVE the peace and quiet and the responsibility of caring for and putting kids safely to bed. But...	Theoceancalls	2	481	Sep 9, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	I will & I can try not to be negative. (Preview) I am going to try today not to be negative. I have every opportunity to send positive messages on this forum. After all, life is too short to be negative. My Ah & I have had some trying moments lately because I have been so negative & took all my stress out on him. I am working on not putting him down &...	Hoot Nanny	2	607	Sep 9, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	Newcomer here (Preview) Hello! Just needed some advice on a current situation. Anyways to keep it brief my mom just got out of rehab a little over a month ago for alcohol and prescription drugs (xanax). This is the 4th time shes been to rehab, so I was optimistic it would actually work this time. She has a sponsor, and has been att...	wilson12	4	448	Sep 9, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	On Edge (Preview) Well My AH quit about 2 months ago this morning he comes home and tell me well tomorrow is our anniversery (34YRS) and the football games on i'd like to have a few beers I reminded him my bounderys I Made If he had that 1 drink i'm filing for divorce he did not remember yeah right he did not remember. I HATE THI...	peacewithin	3	359	Sep 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	I did it. I kicked him out. (Preview) I set a boundary and I stuck to it. I did wind up leaving work early and I came home and made him leave. Not only did he buy "two tallboys" like he assured me... he bought the other 4 as well. They were all gone. Arguement ensued yet I kept my composure (for most of it) I kept telling him to l...	ELEKTRAWMN	9	902	Sep 9, 2012 by holivex
	Tired of the struggle (Preview) Needed to come here to vent. Maybe if I do this, others will stop and learn to protect themselves from this horrible disease. I had NO idea what being an addict meant, or how a person cannot have a usual marriage with one. I had been widowed 18 years, super independant. I had to work hard at being a wife like...	Debilyn	11	657	Sep 9, 2012 by pineapple
	I Stood My Ground - Told Him I Want Separation (Preview) I DID IT! Drove over to treatment center yesterday for first 'counseling session', I have been reading "CoDependent No More" and was ready. I calmly stated I needed a separation for myself, I was not comfortable living with him, and that even though he is saying he will 'work on it to be th...	TrudyS85	5	553	Sep 9, 2012 by pineapple
	TRADIIION 10 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50726032/tradition-10-alanon/	hotrod	0	330	Sep 8, 2012 by hotrod
	How do I know how bad the recovery process will be? (Preview) My sister has an alcohol problem and I'd like to discuss it with her to find out if she'd like help. The problem is, I don't know how bad her alcohol problem is, as I don't live with her. This is relevant, because I don't know if quitting will throw her into serious withdrawal symptoms. She doesn't hav...	Gabriel9877	8	529	Sep 9, 2012 by Gabriel9877
	learning to be a sponsee (Preview) So i aske dsomeone to sponsor me. She told me the following week at the next meting that she has just been really busy :/ I really do not know her that well and i want to start the steps but she seems unavailbale and i feel like i am imposing if i call her. I know it may just be my insecurities but i feel more comfo...	LadyBug	4	961	Sep 8, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Called the court today... (Preview) Yesterday I battled with the choice on weather or not I should call my county court house to begin the paper work for a divorce. But as the title spoils, I made the final decision today. Dispite my annitial re-action to put of my choice until he got 'better', as of last night my mind has been made up. I canno...	Inuyami	2	403	Sep 8, 2012 by Debilyn
	Changing my view of women (Preview) Hello, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am 28 years old and have been a member for 2.5 years. I would like to share on my life experiences with the women in my life and alcoholism has affected my perception. I grew up in a home where my father was the alcoholic. My mom developed sc...	slogan_jim	10	548	Sep 8, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Feeling so lonely!! (Preview) I have not been on here in quite a while. It's been tough to come back to the board since my mentor passed away and he meant a lot to me and always made me see what was right in front of my face. Also he always made me realize that I was to take care of myself first. Well he's gone now but his lessons live on. But st...	wildthang86	4	534	Sep 8, 2012 by wildthang86
	First day of school (Preview) Today was the first day of kindergarten for our oldest. My wife and I and our 3 year old took her to the bus stop and spent some time with the other parents waiting for the bus. My daughter was very excited and smiling and happy and before we knew it, she was on the bus and gone. All day, I have felt extremely em...	usedtobeanyer	6	559	Sep 8, 2012 by glad lee
	Talk me off the edge... (Preview) Just got in an arguement with AH when I went home for lunch. He's currently out of work (still).... He told me as a threat before I left... "Guess I'll be going to the store today"... ie beer run. He's been sober for quite some time. Long story short I spoke to him once while he was at the sto...	ELEKTRAWMN	5	537	Sep 8, 2012 by nmike
	so far so good"update" (Preview) i drove over by where he is liveing while he was at work,and his freind told me that my a was back to work and that he told him that he "my a" was gonna mess around and lose his job and truck ,my a told him yes he knew that.so for now i guess im safe with the truck,it worries me though that he might end up...	silent	2	348	Sep 8, 2012 by Mattie
	I'm back.. Crazy stuff (Preview) Hi Everyone! I have been gone for a few weeks. We went on vacation and had a wondeful time on the cruise. My son (13) was in heaven. We wound up going with some friends, so my son had a buddy. It was a 7 day cruise, Mexican Rivera. It was orignially going to be my honeymoon with the ex. When I got back I have bee...	katfshh	12	513	Sep 8, 2012 by katfshh
	looking ahead not behind; staying in the moment but nervous & anxious! (Preview) I think I said it alll in the subject heading. I have a lot of anxiety today. But if I look ahead to the possibilties I might actually have a good day. I have almost constant scalp itch. It went away but is definitely back! I use a solution that is strictly for the scalp. I use it every night before bedtime. It...	Hoot Nanny	3	414	Sep 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	What is everyone having for supper? (Preview) I decided to get creative LOL. I am making some tomato vegtable sausage soup! Smells so good! Only thing I just wished I had not run out of rice :) What is everyone planning for supper tonight? -- Edited by InspiredPhotography on Thursday 6th of September 2012 04:07:58 PM	InspiredPhotography	13	500	Sep 8, 2012 by InspiredPhotography
	New to this but a long time dealing with AH alone (Preview) Hi. It's good to find a place to talk to people who are living with an alcoholic loved one. I've been married to my husband for 13 yrs and I was aware that he drank but unaware of the extent of his addiction. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to help my husband by encouraging him to go to therapy, by going to coup...	Stevie	13	537	Sep 7, 2012 by Freja
	Praying for compassion for daugter! (Preview) I'm so hurt and angry with my a/a daughter, her 7y.o. daughter has been living with her dad for almost 2yrs. now because she was to lazy to get up and take her to school. 2 wks ago she let her 17y.o. go live with them (step-father) 4 1/2hrs. away. He wanted to go, and has a good relationship with his step-fa...	Highlyfavored	3	425	Sep 7, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	I've finally left my alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) So finally, after 2 years of off and on again with my ABF, I've ended things. I've done it so many times before, however this time feels different to me. I'm ready to fight for my sanity, to not get swept up in the dysfunction of trying to make him feel better about himself in the midst of seriously destruct...	Hopeful06	5	2806	Sep 7, 2012 by Hopeful06
	Decision to separate and the calm that followed (Preview) A couple of weeks ago I approached my AH with separating. It was a decision I had wrestled with for years. I felt so at peace and calm just like you said I felt my HP was right there walking hand and hand with me. The problem I have is the guilt when he calls/texts/or I see him and he tells me how much he miss...	gr8tful01	1	407	Sep 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Decision to divorce, and the calm that followed (Preview) Hi, I'm Dolly and I am married to an alcoholic. I've been going to face to face meetings sporadically for a few years now and have recently stepped up to more regular attendance, as I find myself feeling so lifted by the grace of Al Anon. My AH is highly functioning and the binge drinking type, but the per...	Dolly Llama	9	564	Sep 7, 2012 by gr8tful01
	Sick since I left (Preview) Hello again everybody. As some of you have read I left my AH on monday afternoon during a horrible fight over what he though I was thinking about him. An AH with anxiety problems is terribly hard to keep up with and sometimes I don't even know why he's picking a fight. BUT I digress. The reason I wan...	Inuyami	7	516	Sep 7, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	My disease (Preview) I am going to school full time, working 3 day weekends and have 2 kids for all those who don't know my story. I have a new boy friend and I am all over the place emotionally, I atleast do not feel addicted to him. I still at times feel addicted to my exAH who emails me like crazy and I asked him repeatedly to stop...	Breakingfree	5	729	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	New Here (Preview) Hello, I've been reading posts here for some time and finally decided to post myself. I have been dating an alcoholic for about 5.5 years on and off and it has been total chaos- I kick him out he acts okay for a few weeks/maybe months and then the lies, ditches me, and stops working again. When I met him,...	Gingerbread81	5	518	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Today A Little Tougher (Preview) Welp... My Day started again at 4:45 AM and Off & Running with My Momma to the Doctors... And because we have been doing this Pretty Much All Week, the Results are Slowly Trickling back in! And today was one of those Low Blow Kinda Days! I Love My Cody-Mom Very Much, and Sometimes she is Like Speaking t...	Jozie	2	488	Sep 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	I am leaving my AH. (Preview) I am leaving my AH. He has promised to get help & never does. He just makes promises so I won't leave. We have two small children (2 & 3 years old). I can't let them keep seeing alcohol being abused this way. My grandmother, grandfather, & both aunts were alcoholics. I can't risk it for their f...	so_tired	11	657	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	Punching Bag (Preview) Hello, This is the first time I have used this forum (or any for that matter) and am just looking for some advice. I am married to a currently sober alcoholic. We have been together for nearly 5 years, married for 2 and have 2 beautiful children. For the first years of our relationship my husband drang he...	JD	14	753	Sep 7, 2012 by Diva
	How much should I interfere? (Preview) Hi all, this is my first post. I am new-ish to al-anon and am very grateful. However, being new means I don't have a lot of answers. I am starting to learn about detachment and "live and let live". This is so freeing to me, but I do not know when and how much it applies in my home life. My husband is a...	goldie7108	6	621	Sep 6, 2012 by Diva
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.