Hugs Trudy,

The only thing I can suggest is don't go off of the internet for information .. it's kind of one of those deals that atty's know how to read those laws.  PLUS even on the internet we don't have access to the same information that an atty's office does.  According to my state laws I can sue the adultress in this situation.  I spoke to my atty and he said yes, however it's going to get thrown out.  So just because it's ON the internet doesn't make it true. 

Get a GOOD atty and I mean one that knows the way around the state laws so that doesn't happen to you.  He will have to get an atty or use yours and it sounds like he won't be able to do that financially.  For me filing first gave me the home court advantage.  Granted I'm on the opposite end of things, where I"m the party who is entitled to spousal support and childsupport.  I just encourage you to do your foot work speak to at least 3 atty's.  Picking an atty is like interviewing for a job.  They get to decide if they want the case and you get to decide if it's a good fit.  It's not a therapy session .. I found when I focused on what I wanted out of the break in the marriage and I wasn't an emotional wreck I was better able to serve my needs.  The other thing is talk to other women specifically who have been in your situation find out what they did, how they handled it, .. what atty they like, what atty they sat across from.  If you know anyone in the legal profession .. such as a legal secretary/paraleagal .. talk to them and find out if they were in YOUR situation who would they go to. 

This is all suggestion and what has worked for me in my situation and trust me I even talk to nurses about what OBGYN they like best .. LOL .. it's just playing the game of getting information, finding out what suits your needs the best and then allowing HP to work HP's magic in forms of bringing people into your life that can best answer these questions. 

TALK TO AN ATTY .. and I can't stress that enough .. if you have and you don't like what they say .. get a second opinion .. the only thing I would caution about is any atty who tells you exactly what you want to hear is not the atty for you.  You want one who will say yes I can do this and no that's not unreasonable .. then follows it with .. this is the best I can do and you know that's just not going to happen OR better yet .. yes I can make that happen it's going to cost a lot of money.  You will have to decide what you want to fight for, what you want to let go of, and how bad you want out. 

Again this is me and I tend to be fairly aggressive in terms of ohhh not just hell to the no .. HELL to the no on specific things.  Other people are more let it go and it's not important to them.  Only I can decide what is my limit how much I want to spend and what am I getting out of it. 

Do the footwork, give it over to your HP, and trust that whatever the outcome as scary as it can look in this moment .. whatever the outcome is what it needs to be. 

Hugs P :)