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how to help young daughter
(Preview)
Hi- I'm new to this. I'm looking for some assistance on how to help my 9 year old daughter. Her father has been in recovery for approx 2 years (although I believe he is using marjiuana). He is verbally and emotionally abusive to me. He frequently over-reacts which results in our daughter suffering. We h...
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Niki
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4
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477
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Need to let out the frustration!!!!
(Preview)
Hi everyone, It's been a while since I've posted here (over a year I think) - I'm much more active on various chatrooms, but I really need a space to be brutally honest about what's going on right now, as I haven't felt able to tell ANYONE what's going on with us since my A and I got engaged last week. Bac...
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Loubelou
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3
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434
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She cheated :/ what to do ???
(Preview)
Mygf is a very bad alchalic she is in rehab now bc when we broke up se drank to a bal .45 and was taken to the hospital but I have been supporting Her thru this all when she wants help and set things in place like not being around when she drinks and sutch she had recintly told me about cheeting on me but i do know s...
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Tony48183
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6
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646
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How big are your meetings/groups?
(Preview)
Hey everyone, I recently became GR of my group and over the last few months (even prior to me being GR), our membership has gone down. We used to get approximately between 6-8 members regularly. Now, it is the same 3 people that come. 2 weeks ago, one member made a point of making a comment that the reason t...
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slogan_jim
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5
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454
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Much needs advise please
(Preview)
Hello I'm new to the forum I'd really appreciate some help, advice, feedback on my situation. I don't have anywhere else to turn. I have been with my Boyfriend for over 5 years, he was 22 when we met and drank a lot (a bottle of vodka most nights) but i put this down to being young, drinking with friends,...
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Bird Seed
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5
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416
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Still confused after a year
(Preview)
So my A has been sober for over a year and i am still myserable. I dont know why. He is happy and okay and i am back to the begging of despair again. I still dont know how to let go of all the bad things he did in the past i never got a appology or acknowladgement of what he did or didnt do. I am struggling to allow him...
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HAguirre
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6
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481
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The depths of denial
(Preview)
There's been some odd awakening, well not odd but interesting awakening in my A friend since we saw Flight. He has had a bazillion questions and is like some little toddler just waking up. While I think it's good I called it quits today. He says he's in contact with his sponsor and has been talking to hi...
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AStrongerMe
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1
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286
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Let go, let God~not working
(Preview)
So I've just spent my entire weekend being depressed about my A plus (plus other addictions), and now today I am so ANGRY. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I am usually a very NICE person and I don't think I can do it tonight. I'm not going to fight; I just feel like I don't want to smile or make &...
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Lyne
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5
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449
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I'm struggling with patience/let go and let god
(Preview)
Good morning, I am writing this from my phone on the commute to work. I am really struggling right now with my routine. I am getting very impatient with the progress of certain things and am having a hard time judt letting it go. There are certain things I want out of my life and continually doing the same s...
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slogan_jim
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4
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397
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Missed you and need you, and moments of weakness :(
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Life has had so many changes since my exAF moved away July 16th. I was doing so well. But, last week during the big Hurricane on the East Coast, I started to worry about my exAF. He lives on the Jersey Shore now. We have had only a few texts the entire time he has been gone, no phone or email conv...
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katfshh
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9
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430
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My reality
(Preview)
I'm able to detach enough from this that I can make pretty good decisions. I am not alone in my experience with the family courts in CA. I'm broke after more than 10k in lawyers who were able to do nothing. Precisely because the mediation services CA requires you to go through will not allow lawyers an...
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AStrongerMe
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3
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414
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cant shake this resentment :(
(Preview)
Hello all my MIP family, Im really needing some advice, I have been with my A for nearly 5 years now, we parted for 7 months when he became a dry drunk and I (didnt realize at the time, I was a sick as a dog too) but we are back together and both working our own program's and getting on better than we ever have, n...
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Maxine12stepper
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8
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465
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The Whirling of My Family Disease...
(Preview)
You Know I am So Grateful For Al-Anon/ACOA its not even Funny! I know I Say this alot, but its True non the Less... This Morning I get one of those LOVELY Calls from my ASis, who is in Complete & Total "Whirling" Mode, Trying to Control Others, (Except Herself) Trying to Force Solutions th...
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Jozie
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2
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426
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2 good days in a row--so far!
(Preview)
Just real quick: I have been having pretty good days! I guess I am finally turning things over! I can tell when I don't have a lot of anxiety. I am glad that I don't believe me! Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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244
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weather forecast: LESS FOGGY!----an update!
(Preview)
Hello MiP family, I just came back from a solo trip to the mountains....literally just 'walking the path of detachment'. Initially the plan was that I do that 2 weeks trip with friends, but HP decided otherwise and let me go alone. I felt a bit strange at first, because I was scared to spend so much time wi...
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tortuga
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3
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419
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Taking a break
(Preview)
It's been a little over two months since my A left. I was on this site every day before then. I am quite serious when I say that MIP helped to restore my sanity. I've dropped in a few times in the last two months. Right now I'm spending all of my energy on taking care of me. I know how important this place and all...
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pineapple
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8
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377
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Finally got to a F2F meeting
(Preview)
I have one of those lives that's difficult to work around. But I just kept working on it, took me nearly a year but got there. I went on my lunch break (I do a lot on my lunch breaks due to my schedule) and it was great to go. The only drawback is it appears to be a 1.5 hour meeting and I can only be there for 1 hou...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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333
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What to do
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
My A brother has called me like 7 times tonight. I was out to dinner with my best friend, trying to take care of myself. My mother called and said he is trying to get into rehab while asking for a ride or a place to stay before hand. I haven't answered or called back as I'm trying to go about my lif...
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Sam813
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4
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280
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Prayers needed
(Preview)
I'd like to ask you to keep my mom and family in your thoughts and prayers. I got a call from my brother that my mother appears to have had a stroke this morning. He's with her and they are waiting for an ambulance while in the area of the storm. He's prepared to make necessary decisions. He assured me it h...
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tiredtonite
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19
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423
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broken
(Preview)
broken....i am a child of an alcohlic was married to alcohlic and have been involved with alcohlic for the past 6 years. i love my boyfriend but we were living disfunctional. and last weekend it errupted into an explosive argrument and my shoulder was broken. i have to say that evening i was drinking a...
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uscgmomma1028
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5
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417
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Baby steps in the right direction
(Preview)
Losing my job last week really knocked me sideways. I always knew it was a temporary gig, but I was still shocked at the timing of everything, and the way it was handled. It left me with a huge laundry list of worries and challenges. I am working hard to keep everything separate, and avoid feeling tota...
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stephaniej
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5
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343
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fear and control taking over within me
(Preview)
So my 14 year old is interested in boys and wants to be able to date. She is a freshmen and our rule even after the divorce has been at 16 she can start dating in groups. So I find out she kind of has a boyfriend and they are hand holding. What do I do or say? Her dad is ready to cave and try to set boundaries for her d...
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Breakingfree
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5
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480
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boyfriend just went to the VFW... ugh
(Preview)
He's supposedly in recovery, but he drinks. I know it's not my problem. BUT THIS IS KILLING ME. I came home unexpectedly from work an hour ago, he wasn't here. I figured he was out drinking, and resisted the urge to text him. To help me, I looked up this forum. He just showed up, said, "I'm actu...
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Roothy
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4
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377
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untitled
(Preview)
So, off I go w/ thinking positively. I am not going to let circumstance & other things control or ruin my day! I am so proud of my husband for admitting he was wrong yesterday--no need for details. Now I have to follow this w/ trying to be more apologetic towards him on most occasions. He deserves to be...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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272
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Trust & Faith, we all need it.
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm looking for some ES&H. I've been thinking about trust lately, specifically in relation to my HP. That lead me on to thinking about faith. I'm praying at the moment for a deepening of my trust & faith in my HP and I always pray to remain willing. Do any of you have anything to s...
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UK Jane
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6
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512
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Hi all!
(Preview)
Just letting you all know that I am still lurking around out here. I don't post often, but I read a lot of your posts for ESH and lessons that I can use in my life. Things are still going very well for me. I still attend and will probably, ALWAYS attend Alanon in my town. My local group is part of my family now a...
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Sweet Stanley
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1
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240
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Flight (Movie with Denzel) (no spoilers :)
(Preview)
Hey everyone, Last night me and a co-worker/friend went to go see the the new Denzel Washington movie, Flight. I bring this up because the movie tackles alcoholism and how it can rip someone's life apart. The alcoholic in the movie gets caught up in their lies and for me, it was some pretty heavy duty stu...
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slogan_jim
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7
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469
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Update
(Preview)
Well, STBAX's mom is home and I was able to take my eldest to go and visit with her. The visit was ok. Youngest is at his other grandma's (STBAX's ex s/mom). In fact the kids were there almost all weekend and had a great time with their cousin who is 5 visiting from out of town. I figured he saw her Thursda...
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Pushka
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5
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291
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I'm worn
(Preview)
I pray until I fall asleep, when I sleep...It's a good day. I have given this situation to my higher power and have faith in his healing. Today has been hard. I haven't seen my only sibling, my baby brother, in 3 months; when I hear from him, he makes no sense. He is a homeless addict. He has become manip...
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Sam813
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4
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476
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Should I tell her?
(Preview)
My AW has seen me depressed this morning. Her alcohol problem is not as extreme as some others. People have asked me what I feel the problem is and other than some of the drinking indicators itself nothing in her other behaivor really bothers me. One of her symptoms is her drinking first thing in the m...
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hdftby100
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7
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425
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A family disease...more evidence
(Preview)
I was shopping Home Depot the other day and bumped into my cousin who has been missing for a year and a half. She was working for Home Depot when she disappeared and then she was gone. She is a mysteriously discovered relative from my natural family on the natural father's side. This is one of the al...
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Jerry F
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3
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371
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I fear i have only made the situation worse
(Preview)
I am here because reading these posts help me see that I am not alone. I really don't even know where to start. I will start with where I am at today. I am lost. I have made so many decisions based on fear, fear of making my situation worse, fear of what the A might do if I cut off contact, fear of what he wil...
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shadow78
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8
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550
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Bring on the Inspirational Quotes!
(Preview)
It's dark times over here. Bring on your inspirational quotes! I would LOVE a feel-better thread that I can access and easily see some of your uplifting sayings in one place!
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stephaniej
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12
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540
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A New Low
(Preview)
The adventure continues with a new low. My AW just received a reply from our son that he will not allow his mother to baby sit his children. This brought about a binge and a new attempt to get sober. I read in a post on this site describing the attempt as a white knuckle event. Without any support group o...
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gyzer02
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5
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389
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trying to trust
(Preview)
Hey all, I'm trying to take it one day at a time and trust that my higher power is looking out for me, but I'm finding myself stressing hard over money! I'm working right now and making just enough to pay my rent, my food stamps haven't come in yet and its been difficult to get in touch with my food stamps work...
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jorjorjor
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2
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391
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Quick Update
(Preview)
Have been in to read and will start to post but so many changes going on and scattered feelings I don't even know how to start. So, I'll just start typing. I have traded in my car so no more car payment which has been a huge load off of my shoulders. I have removed my name from the utility accounts and told ...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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4
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300
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still crazy after all these years
(Preview)
Greetings~The song by Paul Simon keeps sounding in my head lately. I think I've "accepted" my spouse's addictions, yes plural, and then yesterday I'm wondering why there is no change. There is no change because she doesn't want to change! It is I who wants her to change. Yep, still cra...
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Lyne
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4
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313
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Spam Messages TOO!!
(Preview)
Hi everyone -- YES - I too have received spam messages (PM) from this board. I suspect it is because of our recent thread on relationships. There are people out there who troll boards and dating sites to find lonely people to exploit...and get them to send money etc. My PM message said it was from Senegal...
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rehprof
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5
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297
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Scared to death, but holding it together...
(Preview)
Long story short, my husband is an alcoholic and he just got a DUI last week. Problem is, this isn't his first, and he could possiby face some time in jail. We have three kids, 8,7 and 4 and I'm trying to keep our life as normal as possible for as long as I can. Luckily, I have a fabulous support system in both o...
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hope4today
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5
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480
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Question about the steps
(Preview)
Here are a few things that are going on for me and I really need some ESandH. I started the steps with a sponsor and I am on step 4 now. My sponsor said that we do a step a week. So I immediately felt rushed from the get go. I was having trouble finding my HP and she told me that she was surprised that i was havi...
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willowtree
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7
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451
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I gotta do it!
(Preview)
I just gotta do it! I have so much to say that I am so excited that I am having a hard time typing as usual. I am so blessed w/ a better outlook on life along w/ less pain. The doctor gave me some medicine that might actually be working. It makes me feel so much more positive & gives me a better attitude. I hav...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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336
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Spam
(Preview)
Is anyone getting spam private messages from someone with no posts wanting to be a friend?
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hdftby100
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1
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196
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Drinking for me???
(Preview)
So my AW relapsed two nights ago. Program worked for about half of the situation. I was able to rein in my actions, no belittleing no berating no isolation or coldness. That was the good part, the emotions not so good. In any case I have chose not to drink, in support of her recovery. So I haven't drank in a m...
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rellik
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10
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461
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I dunno; what do I know?
(Preview)
I was trying to post & the computer went off-line here at the library in my small town. I had a slew of wonderful things to say but I guess they weren't meant to be. I am grateful that the computer came back on. So, what I was saying basically was about recovery espcially mine. I have come a long way &...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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272
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Putting the A on a pedestal
(Preview)
Ever since I was young, the A in my life (father) has been up high on a pedestal. I always assumed when he wasn't drunk that he was always right and how could anyone ever dislike him? I've carried this into my adult life and it is so hard to stop. He has always been a nagger/criticizer and still is. It really d...
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Elizabeth10
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3
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663
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Grateful Member of Al-Anon :)
(Preview)
Well I have Survived the Storm of Hurricane Sandy, and Thank God above for Every bit of the Blessings I Recieved During it! My Thoughts and Prayers are with All that Had it worse then I, Mine was Minimal at Least, Little Water in Basement, flickerin lights, but Nothing Worth Complainin about after watc...
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Jozie
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5
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349
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Off Topic: Spam messages
(Preview)
Do you guys ever get any spam private mesages? I got one today, related to a post I made and got to admit it's kind of creepy. Does anyone else get these?
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slogan_jim
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7
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366
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Argh .. Prayers please
(Preview)
My STBAX's mom whom he is living with is in the hospital. She is gravely ill. She is an alcoholic as well as a smoker. She has cut way back on the drinking (at one point years ago had stopped completely after many years of hard drinking unfortunately started again when her spouse passed away) and she ha...
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Pushka
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6
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328
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And, just when you think things can't get any worse
(Preview)
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stephaniej
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10
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400
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2ND STEP POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51399472/step-2-alanon/
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hotrod
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1
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251
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3 steps forward....3 steps back
(Preview)
I have truly seen how insane my thinking is! The last week or so I can see I have started shutting down and slipping into old behaviours. Isolating and not communicating. I'm not even sure why. But I saw my insantity last night so I think that is progress. I ended taking my 4 year old out with me to avoid...
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Zimmy
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4
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466
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Grateful
(Preview)
Hi MIP Family I live in downtown Manhattan on the 10 th floor and have been without Internet, electricity, heat, hot water, etc. since Monday. A very kind friend just drove to my apartment and brought me to their home where there is all the comforts of home. Internet, heat, hot water for a bath and TV. A...
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hotrod
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15
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676
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Relationships (share)
(Preview)
Hi everyone, my name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Lately, a lot of my shares have been about relationships, companionship and loneliness. I know it sounds like complaining and self-pity but finding a life partner is something that is very dear to me and I want to use the rooms of t...
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slogan_jim
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5
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372
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Positive weekend...
(Preview)
For the first time in a LONG time I am actually NOT dreading the weekend and the looming possibility that the wife will crack open the wine. Things seem to be going better and while I am still very cautious when it comes to her drinking I choose to remain optimistic for ME! Every time I start to think that...
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hdftby100
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3
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234
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Go to party or not?
(Preview)
I have the opportunity to go to a fun and formal ball next month with my husband and friends. Dinner and free drinks. I want to go, but I'm anxious about my husband drinking too much. The last time we went to a party like this he got really drunk (so did a lot of other people mind you). Part of me says I should go...
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Umutlu
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5
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318
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Looking for opinions...
(Preview)
Wanted to get some input from others here. I have been toying with this question over the last couple of weeks. My AW's drinking from what I see has gotten much better. I'm not nieve enough to think she has completely stopped but I don't see nearly as much of it like I once did. She has never been the dri...
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hdftby100
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6
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460
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someone really upset me
(Preview)
I go to alanon and am really getting help from it and was recently talking to an old timer in AA who told me that he thinks I am an alcoholic. I haven't drank in 10 years and don't ever have any desire to. I did party when I was younger and could get pretty wild and do stupid stuff at times but I have a family now...
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willowtree
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14
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707
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I'm going to have a Happy Halloween
(Preview)
I hope everyone follows suit! I'm going home tonight, going to relax, hand out candy, watch TV and veg :) The boys are with dad this year, I'll see them when they get home about 9pm tonight. On a side note, tagged onto the post last night - he apparently left the VA sometime after 11:30pm. He's at his home...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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324
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Ignoring their moods
(Preview)
I will not play into his moods, I will not fall prey to the alcoholics 'emotion' of the moment. I will let him be miserable if he needs to be and not worry about whether I'm at fault for this negative attitude. I will work my program, say the serenity prayer, and then go do something for myself. LIKE GO FO...
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ilovedogs
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7
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519
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Relapsed straight from Rehab
(Preview)
Hi My mum came out of rehab 6 days ago, and I think started drinking the day after. She was so positve in rehab and it was her decision to go in the first place, she spent the last of her savings on going. But is now back on the drink hard and fast. Drinking from 7.00am right through the day, and is back to not was...
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Misst1976
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4
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392
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