The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I do understand the fear and projecting. When these two monsters try to run my life I pick up the "Just for Today" bookmark and use it . Live one moment at a time, I do not project into the future, I take care of myself and try to get rest, a little fun and eat well. Alanon calls are a must.
This works for me
God Bless
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 4th of November 2012 09:46:31 AM
Long story short, my husband is an alcoholic and he just got a DUI last week. Problem is, this isn't his first, and he could possiby face some time in jail. We have three kids, 8,7 and 4 and I'm trying to keep our life as normal as possible for as long as I can. Luckily, I have a fabulous support system in both of our families, but the thought of him having to go to jail almost paralyzes me with fear! He's been going to AA meetings since the day after the DUI. It's been a week and two days with no drinking. As crazy as it may sound, he's happier than I've seen him in years! I'm VERY happy, but as many of you well know, there's that OMG, how long can this "good" last until the next disaster??? I know I need to recognize the FEAR, as false events appearing real, and I also know that I should just be thankful for TODAY and THIS moment, but my head just starts racing and I start worrying about where we'll be in a year!!
I'm handling things really well on the outside, just need to make suremy my insides are in check! I'm just beginning to come back to AlAnon. I should have never stopped. I love what I get from the meetings, and am so happy to have found this message board. I just want to stay on track and keep my focus. Thanks for listening. Any advice is always appreciated.
__________________
"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship."~ Louisa May Alcott
Hi Hope4today, I'm glad you are returning to Al-Anon. I go to as many meetings as possible, speak to my Al-Anon family in between, read my CAL, spend time with my sponsor, do service, attend conventions, use these boards, use on-line meetings, work the steps as best I can, pray & meditate, use the slogans and spend time listening for messages. Basically I try not to miss anything out because I'm so affected by this disease I need to do everything that Al-Anon suggests. My recovery is slow but I know it's happening, I feel it. We are all different yet the same and the same yet different, doing as much as I can works for me.
It works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it.
Hi, No one knows what the future will be. No sense ruining today worrying about it. It seems your hubby has learned to live with the impending jail term. You will be okay through it all. Sit down and think about all the details about what you are worrying about. It is all about him. You will answer the kids' questions with empathy and concern and they will be fine. You will stay in touch with both the families and you will be fine. You will have your day to day routine and you will be fine. Your job will be fine. Your house will be fine.
I felt so much better when I realized that no matter what choices he made, I would be fine.
((((Hope)))) because the fellowship lives in only one 24 hour period at a time that is how long the hope lives...We have this day only. Tomorrow hasn't arrive yet. It seems simplistic because of all of your responsibilities and such and then its true isn't it. The DUI is his. He has got to come up with a plan regarding the consequences of it. You might be able to ask him that question..."what is your plan for your family if you disappear whatever way"? and then let him come up with an answer for discussion. "Alcoholism affects everything and one it comes into contact with..." (from the definition of Alcoholism read in Al-Anon in the 80's). Keep coming back. You have support here and are not alone. (((((hugs)))))
