The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Greetings~The song by Paul Simon keeps sounding in my head lately. I think I've "accepted" my spouse's addictions, yes plural, and then yesterday I'm wondering why there is no change. There is no change because she doesn't want to change! It is I who wants her to change. Yep, still crazy after all these years....Lyne
When I am Wanting Someone Else to Change, it is Normally because there is Something In ME that Needs to Change as Well! Wether it be my Relationship, or My Relationship of Me! So I Ask Myself? What Have a Done for ME today? What Will Bring Me Joy Today? And even if that is Quiet time to myself, I Relish in it! And I Remind myself that My A's are them, And Me is All I can Control, For I am Powerless over their Addiction!
This is a Tough Place, and Acceptance for Me is ALWAYS a Hurdling Event! I Will Go for weeks, and Let go of Obsession of Others, and Take Great Care of Me and My Boy, and then I will Slowly start Feeling that Pull, Back into the Pool of Alcoholism/Addictions, and I have to again, Regroup, Set Boundrys', and Steal my Power of Me back! And Stay only within My Holla Hoop...
Keep Coming Back, I Can So Relate... I'm Grateful Now I Can Catch myself be fore I Spirial to far tho in one directions. All Thanks to Al-Anon! :)
Placing my expectations for peace of mind and serenity and happiness on the shoulders of my alcoholic/addict wife always turned into eventual resentments. I detached and went after my own life and that is when the peace of mind and serenity came home. Yes INSANITY is one of the consequences of this disease. Keep coming back Lyne....((((hugs))))
It's not unusual to want someone to change behaviors that are obviously hurtful to them and that tread upon you as well. It's futile but not unusual. So I wouldn't go thinkng your are crazy...it just takes reminders that it's futile. Also, there's part of you that is always going to want them sober, but what you do matters most. You stop counting bottles and obsessing...that is working a program!
Thank you so much for reminding me what my path has to be. It's like having deja vu on a regular basis. I can cope for months at a time. I think I'm fine. I stop paying attention to alanon. And then BAM! I enter this depression and hopelessness~this is my life? I lose my center and can't concentrate on the important things. I become obsessed with her junk~alcohol, lying, eating, lotto, poor choices in people, etc. I will try to touch base every day with you guys. Thanks again, Lyne
