The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I pray until I fall asleep, when I sleep...It's a good day. I have given this situation to my higher power and have faith in his healing. Today has been hard. I haven't seen my only sibling, my baby brother, in 3 months; when I hear from him, he makes no sense. He is a homeless addict. He has become manipulative, verbally abusive, and he is not my sweet brother anymore. It is hard to make the decision to totally cut off contact with him. Ignoring his calls takes all I have left inside of me. Me and my parents are no longer enabling him to use, and he is homeless. However, he calls and his words cut me like a knife sometimes. Sometimes he is sweet and tells me he loves me and misses me. He is my only sibling, my best friend, my blood. I can't get another brother, another sibling. He has become somebody I don't even know, it's like the devil has possessed his body and he no longer exists. It is like a loss, like a death. Al anon reminds me I cannot do anything to change this, and I have to let go and focus on my own life. I do my best at that everyday. It is hard to move on not knowing if my family is alive or dead on the street from an overdose. I try to remain positive and believe my HP is protecting him. Letting go of any control I have over the situation has helped me. Al anon has helped me, yet sometimes I feel so alone. At night, when there is no one to talk to, I come on here sometimes because it helps me to have all of you listen and respond with love and caring words. The holidays are coming up and they will be the first spent without my brother. I have remained very strong this past month or so, I haven't been on here in awhile because I really have been doing okay despite everything. Meetings and therapy help to let it out, but there is so much. Tonight, I just need some prayers and support. I know it is all in my HP's time, and I am praying without ceasing. I know you all are going through some tough times as well and it feels good to have understanding. Thank you for always responding with kindness and uplifting words. It truely has helped me through some difficult times. I go through good days which are a blessing. And some days, the pain just hits me like a mac truck and knocks me over. This is one of those days. I know I have a responsibility to myself to continue focusing on my graduate degree and my career as well as my husband. We married this past year. This pain has truely made it hard for us, as I struggle to stay positive at times. I feel horrible that I am not there for my husband as I have been in the past. He understands that I am in pain and does what he can to encourage me, but I still feel alone as he has not been through something like this and he is an only child. Thank you all for listening, and for your prayers and support. I am truely thankful.
just wanted to say thank you for sharing hunnie, and im so sorry you are feeling low, its great that you come on here to share, we will all give you the love and support you need, xxxxxx
Addiction is terrible. As much of a tragedy as it is for 1 person to be ruining themselves like that, it's so good that you are not on the sinking ship with him. Turning 1 tragedy into multiple ones is not helpful and for that reason, it's good that you are moving on and finding your own happiness. It helps to be healthy (but also detached) so that you can be of service to the rest of your family and in a stronger spot if your brother actually does get into recovery (because he has to do that mostly on his own too).
Hi Sam, So sorry you are going through all this pain right now, Sam. I am an only child (as is my mom and my daughter) so it's hard for me to relate to having a brother, or any family really. But I do know what it's like not to have siblings and that is basically where you are right now. You are doing SUCH a good job focusing on yourself and not the alcoholic/addict and I want to commend you for that, it must be so hard. Working the program, like you are, and coming in here and posting are such healthy ways to do this. Just remember you brother has an HP too, and he is there for him. Prayers for you and your brother.
Overcome
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
I have So Been where you are... Too a Point of Course, I have a Baby Brother that is an Alcoholic/Addict/User... He isn't My Only Sibling however, He was the One I Helped Care for when My Parents Split, and that caused us to become Very Close over the years... Until Our Addictions took us Differant Places! Mine was Alcohol His was That Plus What ever else!
When I Lost My Afather to Alcohol Just 4 short Yrs ago, My 1st reaction was I was Goin to SAVE My Abrother Before he ended in the same way! Then I was Placed in the Rooms of Al-Anon, and was told... "Thats Not Your Job!" I was Devistated... It was Always My Job to Care for Him, so why would now be differant? Its Differant because Now he is an Adult.. Now He is able to Make his Own Choices as to what He wants to do with his life, and Honestly as Much as I Love him! I Grateful I don't have to wear that "Caretaker" tag no more! I have Went Holidays without my Brother because of his Addictions, and sometimes Im even grateful for it because it gave our family a Chance to BE A Family, instead of Wondering what his Next Bonehead move would be to cause kaois... BUT... In Al-Anon they Taught me Not to Worry about the Up & Coming Holidays! We Do Not Know what will happen till that day comes, and that leads me to Hope... Anything can Happen, and People Can Change... But it has to be thier Own Decission, or it will never mean as much to them... This i Learned the Hard way myself...
Now I Just Love My Brother, When he allows for it, and when he is making me feel down or less then, I Tell him that is Unacceptable and i'm Sorry he feels that way, but I didn't put him where he is... And he's the only one that can start NOW.. and Make Better Choices! I don't Lecture him unless he crosses my boundry's like "Being drunk around my son!" then I Remove my son, and Leave the Past in the past! and Know better Next time!
Your Love for your Brother should Never Change, But you are Right! What you see now is NOT Your Brother... Your Brother is still the guy you have always Loved, He may just need to hear you are doing ok, so it opens up the door of Hope for him! Keep Coming back, Keep Sharing your Journey, and Know that You are NEVER Alone in this! Ever!
