Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Pushka · Pushka

Well, I have lots of options and I'm not sure what to do at this point. None of the choices are going to have pretty outcomes and honestly I'm to frustrated to care. I am powerless over other people's involvement when it comes to my STBAX's crazy behavior. They don't get it and I'm waiting for a 911 situ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As I'm letting go of my son I find I have nothing to do anymore. No more late night calls, not hospitals or detox centers, no spending money or taking him somewhere or picking him up or talking and arguing, no visits so he won't drink, no making him come to my house so he won't drink. No craziness. I"...

cmd309 · cmd309

I want to trust my AH again but fear I am hoping for something impossible. I have this idea in my mind, a fantasy maybe, of having a husband that goes out with the guys and comes home at a decent time, who contributes money to the relationship rather than spend everything he makes plus what I make ... someon...

Sinneslust · Sinneslust

I am fresh into a relationship (1.5 months) with a freshly recovering addict (6 months sober). I have been told the dangers of dating someone so early in their recovery and have read countless stories (both bad and good) about doing so. I have heard the tales of emotional rollercoasters and being held...

soozin12 · soozin12

Of course I found myself thinking my AH can change but as with any expectation that leads to disappointment. After over 2 years off him being off drugs-he is still drinking so i dont call him sober even though he considers himself to be in recovery-he doesnt come home last night and I discover an ATM wi...

Minaret · Minaret

What I mean by this is that...when my AH is drunk and being an ass, and angry at the kids and everything is chaos and I want to leave him forever...and then the next day comes and he is sober for a day and somewhat nice and things go much better overall, then I feel guilty that I had feelings of leaving him...t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I read that 90% of people in 12-step recovery can identify with self-sabotage. Not necessarily with substances but EMOTIONAL Self-sabotage. What are your experiences on why we do this and how to stop repeating it?

AngieP · AngieP

My sober Abf was in a wreck tonight. He shouldn't have even been driving, but I no longer live there. He is 3 weeks out of back surgery - fusing 3 vertibra. Instead of being thankful he is safe & no damage was done to his back or no new damage was added - he is ANGRY that they discharged him with no new narc...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Why do we put ourselves in the position to be harmed? I know today I invited people into my life who were the most troubled people in society...I did that to myself because I wanted to victimize myself and I didn't know any better. I made myself a "victim", always blaming others for their own s...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Al-Anon Family :) Sorry its been So Long! I've had my Share of Tragity Mixed with some Magical Moments, which seems to be the story of my life here of late, but Still taking it Day by Day... Moment by Moment... And at times Second by second! I was sitting here in my Pity Pot Yesterday & For what eve...

tortuga · tortuga

Hey all, i thought I would come here and share my care program, that I have tailored around my own Self. I first felt quite unusual you know, I am VERY good at caring for others, yet when I turned that around and started nurturuing myself, it felt odd: a little bit of guilt, that feeling to be selfish... bu...

newwoman · newwoman

I received a letter from my A who is away at rehab. In the letter and I quote "I operate in a practical, business and organized approach. That may be when your feel pushed away because at that time we are operating in different worlds." (Which is based on the left side of my brain not working mos...

jackic · jackic

I am still trying to find a meeting that will fit into my schedule but I could really use some help now. I am an aa member ( actually celebrating my 6 year anniversary today!). I recently went backt to the west coast to visit my parents. My father is an alcoholic. I stayed in a hotel because of his drinking. I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH's mom passed away a little over a week ago. She died suddenly and was found by the police on the bedroom floor. She had been there for a few days based on the decomposition of the body and both AH's brother and sister are dealing with a ton of guilt because they hadn't been checking up on her. Anyway, A...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I just need to share tonight. Nearly three weeks ago, I posted a couple of times. I was feeling so smart and empowered by what I was learning at Al-Anon. I made good healthy steps and difficult choices. I stopped arguing with him, mostly, when I knew he'd been drinking. I tried to listen more fully to him w...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello all, I have only posted on here 2 times before and your responses helped me so much. Here I am again, back with my alcoholic boyfriend. I left him in April due to cheating and I ended up taking him back in July because his daughter came to town for the summer and I love her. He did go to AA that summer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I figure that some days are bad days & some are good. I don't delude myself thinking that every day will be rosey. I still fight w/ the insanity sometimes but it is nowhere near what it used to be. My focus will be better. My load will be lifted. I don't want to be over-whelmed anymore. I have a very suppo...

LosingItAll · LosingItAll

I am a first time poster to this forum...My husband is currently in recovery. His drinking and drug days came to a stop with a DUI. Living with him has became increasingly more difficult. The moods swing from all so happy to I would rather leave then try to deal with this. I myself have began to feel this...

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH went to a doctor that is now been treating him for BiPolar disorder for two months now. First month he drank heavy with the med and things were the same ..tho he said He felt "happy" he was stoned with the combo of booze and pills. I called the office manager and informed her of his alcohlic...

Pushka · Pushka

You know the whole if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have ANY luck .. LOL! Well .. I'm kind of dealing with that at the moment. Well .. I DID file a report with the sheriff's department and I have court. In doing so I was let go from my job, I had to totally laugh. I think that this is really ok. Knowin...

John · John

*****************************Q. What does a codependent have in common with God? >A. They both have a plan for your life.************ -- Edited by John on Monday 4th of February 2013 08:07:53 PM

imom · imom

When I first started alanon, I was very skeptical of a higher power. I wanted to believe but I was sure I had to help control the situation. I have been praying and hoping and praying some more...even talking out loud to my HP to intervene before my A kills himself or someone else. Last night it happene...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son is on a binge again. I was watching a program called Drugged about a young 29 yo man that was addicted to Alcohol. He agreed to go into rehab but only lasted 17 days before his young life was taken. I couldn't stop crying. I can't help but think this is what's next for my son. I feel because I can't...

cinders · cinders

I keep telling myself that I am doing ok with everything, the move, divorce and being alone, but in part I think I am lying to myself. I don't know that I am as ok as I say that I am. I see my family and friends happy in their lives, things going well for them and they are moving forward doing new things for the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just need a moment to reflect. I have been in & out of sanity a lot in my life but have managed to survive all of it thanks to my Higher Power. These days I have been hanging by a string w/ my mind. I feel so bad about not being strong-minded. I won't beat myself up though. I don't know when I am going to get b...

livestrong · livestrong

Hello this is my first time here and looking for comfort and to get the courage I need. Well, alcoholisim is no stranger to me. My dad was an alcoholic and as I read in some of the other forums here as kids we always knew how good or bad our night was going to be depending on my fathers mood. So I grew up living i...

starryeyed · starryeyed

I've been with my husband for a year and a half. We've been married for the past six months now. There have been so many red flags the whole time we've been together and I turned a blind eye and just went along with it, for reasons I don't quite understand. I was in recovery when we met and started dating, the...

newwoman · newwoman

This program is tricky because you never know for sure if you are accepting things you can't change or if you need to have courage and move on. The wisdom to know the difference will creep up on you and then sock you in the face. The statement above was posted in another post. However, it hit me right betw...

Pushka · Pushka

Well it has been a week to say the least. I have been flat on my back sick and that hasn't helped things. I felt like a mack truck hit me rolled backwards and hit me again. This is def a HALTS issues going on. Frustrated doesn't cover it. For the first time my STBAX has threatened me with physical harm. ...

newwoman · newwoman

In a moment of clarity, (HA ! HA! HA!....that is a LIE) I decided in lieu of the rehab "questionnaire" I would take it upon myself to again OVER ACHIEVE and overnighted a 143 page manifesto (my own Jerry McGuire if you will) recounting the last year with my love. That landed at the rehab facili...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

The Step 4 inventory is not just resentments, there are two other sections...Fear and Sex Conduct. Hopefully your sponsor knows this and if not you might look for one who uses AA's Big Book, I mean it's not about alcohol anyway, it's about being human... The directions are clear on how to write a sex c...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Telling me to get over it. I just came out of a 23 year abusive, chaotic and traumatic relationship and marriage - physical, mental, alcohol and drugs...I asked for the divorce a year ago, he moved out 6 months ago, divorce final 2 months ago, visitation yanked 1 month ago. Really? Just get over it? How...

bsketlady · bsketlady

This probably seems like a no brainer, but if my DH has the problem, WHY do I need ALANON? He tells me it will help me to understand...i just don't get it...he's got the problem he needs to fix it...i'm trying to be patient and kind understanding and loving (and it's NOT EASY)...and now i have a problem to...

newwoman · newwoman

I posted the statement below earlier HOWEVER, I FAILED TO MENTION, the end of the call (which is one for my "highlight" reel....) HE SAID HE NEEDED ME TO MAIL HIM HAIR GEL!!!!!!!!!! REALLY? You have got to be kidding me... HOW ABOUT MAILING ME MY HEART BACK that you broke!!!!!!!! Wow! WOW!...

newwoman · newwoman

Well...Well..Well.... My Jerry McGuire manifesto was received by my love (client #202) @ his current alcohol free living zone. Based on his 10 minute scheduled call this morning, I don't believe my 143 pages recounting the past year watching him channel "OTIS" from the Andy Griffith Sh...

gemmas · gemmas

Hi, i am new to this forum but not completely new to Al-anon. I have attended a few meetings when I was feeling at my lowest but then I convinced myself I didn't need it and stopped going. My boyfriend is two years sober. I love him so much but have really struggled with accepting him lately. About 6 months...

Amski · Amski

I am new to this site as of about 10 minutes ago. In fact, this is the first time I have ever reached out this way. I did attend live meetings a few years back but didn't feel very welcomed so didn't go back. Last night, I came home from work and found my husband passed out in the recliner. A cereal bowl was tipp...

newwoman · newwoman

I would like to thank those of you who have taken the time to respond to my postings. If it weren't for that I would have lost all faith in me, for this entire scenario with my love in rehab has been embarrassing, isolating, maddening, and very very scary. Your words give me hope to keep on going forward eac...

midas · midas

a long-ish share... you guys are the only folks I have to confide in... My AH called me at work- he seemed "weird"- we had an ok conversation but there were red flags... Lesson number one: ask direct questions- alcoholism is sneaky- in the past I'd say "tell me you're not drinking!&quo...

maragal · maragal

Hi I am in a year long relationship with a nearly 2 year sober AA member, but its been a roller coaster ride. He is job hunting for the third time in one year. He has gotten fired twice and my AA sponser is saying end the relationship. I have many yrs of recovery myself and feel I am burdened with a teenager. I h...

Tennin · Tennin

Hey All! Dusting my Al-Anon hat off and finding I'm just a bit rusty! Making a long story short, my husband has been in recovery seven years in - three years out - eight years in - one night out - more than a year in and as of January 2nd - "Almost" out. By the time I realized he was back to all his usi...

rehprof · rehprof

Last monday I called my exA to see if he could take my 16 yo to an important counseling appointment on the following monday (tomorrow). He is SO sick with pneumonia...he made sure to let me know he cannot walk, he cannot breathe...OH POOR HIM! I said, okay, the appointment isnt until next week though. W...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I cannot stress enough that we in 12-step recovery do not allow each other to be victims. If I sought out a marriage with an alcoholic or other sick person then I have to look at why. If I have family members who manipulate me I have to find out why. If I am constantly being manipulated and taken advantage o...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm always thinking, "How have I managed to end up in such a series of dysfunctional relationships?" Addictions and dysfunctions of every stripe. What happened along the way where I didn't look out for the red flags and protect myself? So a few weeks ago I met an interesting man. In fact...

1976love · 1976love

This morning I woke up and started to think how good everything is going, how I have so much to be thankful for, how even though my husband is an alcoholic it has never been that much a horrific battle that we couldn't pull out of it. He got the DWI's before we met, so that wasn't so bad. He never had to be in r...

Serenity16 · Serenity16

I dont really know where to begin.. In fact its still hard for me to admit some days that this is where my life has taken me. Four years ago i started dating a guy i went to high school with . At the time i was 25 and he was 28. There had always been something there when we were younger but it was always wrong tim...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I learned yesterday my a/a daughter's 28y.o. son with his own a/a issues is homeless because she asked him to leave her house. I've been feeling anxious and fearful he would call me for help. Sure enough he did this morning, I told him "no" when he asked what I was doing and if he couldn't co...

imom · imom

Any thoughts or experience with bankruptcy. I am sinking in debt. I have an appointment with bankruptcy lawyer next week but I want as much information as possible. do would love some personal experiences if people don't mind personal such personal experiences.

imom · imom

Harassment is the only way I can describe it. My AH had me as a captive audience in the car to day. I couldn't escape. He just kept telling me how his LPN who prescribes his mental health meds said she could write me a referral for a psychiatric evaluation. Then he said that she was not happy that I calle...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I always imagined and prayed to my HP that my AH would recover and we would live happily ever after. Somewhat of a fairytale I guess. My AH attends 3 meetings a week and has formed some excellent relationships that only recovering alcoholics can form. They understand, they grow, they work their step...

Aloha · Aloha

My grandmother passed away last week from a massive stroke. It was kind of sudden, but she was 87 - at an age where I just knew that eventually some time she'd go. While her death is unfortunate, what is more unfortunate right now is that my family is fighting. This is all hurt feelings extending out from w...

ofservice · ofservice

I am coming to terms with a marriage cycle of emotional manipulation, compulsive lying and codependency. In accepting what I cannot change, I have always stood my ground when it comes to honesty, and therefore trust. Dishonesty I will always find to be unacceptable behavior, though I have learne...

Katy · Katy

Our 21 year old son has managed to stay in employment, and tomorow moves into his own flat, today I saw him for the first time in two weeks to speak to, how quickly things can change for the better, this time last week his job hung in the balance and he had no permanent place to stay, I have felt so bad for turni...

newwoman · newwoman

I feel like now is not the time for me to even think about practicing detachment. Hindsight is 20/20 and had I known the detach rule during lets say the Christmas escapade with him passed out on the landing of the staircase AFTER he had made such as 'xxx' of both of us at a neighbors house. Yes! Detaching...

Cam0612 · Cam0612

Hello. I'm new to Al-Anon. My husband of ten years (he's 41) recently admitted he is an alcoholic. I've suspected if for about a year but he finally said he words - on his own that is. In two months he has been to a total of four AA meetings. In two months of so called "sobriety" I have caught h...

letlive27 · letlive27

My intelligent, loving, wonderful boyfriend of over a year is an opiate addict. When we first starting dating, I knew he was in recovery and had spend some time in rehab in college. At the time, recovery was something I really respected and admired about him. I thought that it was something he had dealt...

Ontario · Ontario

It seems that the best and worse has happened....my STBXA has become the calm rational loving person I remember from 15 yrs ago...but with someone else. Appears to be sober, but as we no longer see much of each other i do not know. He says he hardly drinks at all. I asked for the divorce. I knew I could no lon...

newwoman · newwoman

Out of irritation which fuels my less than banner behavior of late... I think I am going to shoe polish my car for the drive to the rehab visit with: HEY HONK FOR CLIENT #202. THE S.O.B. HAS BEHAVED FOR 30 DAYS IN A ROW! GO VARSITY!!!!! And of course, tie mylar balloons to every mirror.

cinders · cinders

I have tried so many many times to get into the meeting room here and never been able to. Is there something I am missing? I follow the link and get to the page but don't see the chat box load. Thoughts?

charli · charli

Hi I am new here, and thought i'd pop by to say hi. I was thinking about going to an al-anon group but they are too far away for me to go so I thought I'd see if there was some thing online. Does this forum act like discussions had in the group sessions? x -- Edited by charli on Thursday 31st of January 2013 08:32...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Overwhelmed (Preview) Well, I have lots of options and I'm not sure what to do at this point. None of the choices are going to have pretty outcomes and honestly I'm to frustrated to care. I am powerless over other people's involvement when it comes to my STBAX's crazy behavior. They don't get it and I'm waiting for a 911 situ...	Pushka	6	364	Feb 8, 2013 by PP
	I'm Lost (Preview) As I'm letting go of my son I find I have nothing to do anymore. No more late night calls, not hospitals or detox centers, no spending money or taking him somewhere or picking him up or talking and arguing, no visits so he won't drink, no making him come to my house so he won't drink. No craziness. I"...	Cathyinaz	10	469	Feb 7, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Trust? (Preview) I want to trust my AH again but fear I am hoping for something impossible. I have this idea in my mind, a fantasy maybe, of having a husband that goes out with the guys and comes home at a decent time, who contributes money to the relationship rather than spend everything he makes plus what I make ... someon...	cmd309	12	478	Feb 7, 2013 by britbug
	Looking for advice, suggestions, or guidance. (Preview) I am fresh into a relationship (1.5 months) with a freshly recovering addict (6 months sober). I have been told the dangers of dating someone so early in their recovery and have read countless stories (both bad and good) about doing so. I have heard the tales of emotional rollercoasters and being held...	Sinneslust	5	422	Feb 7, 2013 by DavidG
	It never ends does it? (Preview) Of course I found myself thinking my AH can change but as with any expectation that leads to disappointment. After over 2 years off him being off drugs-he is still drinking so i dont call him sober even though he considers himself to be in recovery-he doesnt come home last night and I discover an ATM wi...	soozin12	3	397	Feb 7, 2013 by el-cee
	Do you feel guilty when the A is sober? (Preview) What I mean by this is that...when my AH is drunk and being an ass, and angry at the kids and everything is chaos and I want to leave him forever...and then the next day comes and he is sober for a day and somewhat nice and things go much better overall, then I feel guilty that I had feelings of leaving him...t...	Minaret	9	463	Feb 6, 2013 by Minaret
	Self-sabotage? (Preview) I read that 90% of people in 12-step recovery can identify with self-sabotage. Not necessarily with substances but EMOTIONAL Self-sabotage. What are your experiences on why we do this and how to stop repeating it?	WorkingThroughIt	10	1130	Feb 6, 2013 by el-cee
	So fustrated (Preview) My sober Abf was in a wreck tonight. He shouldn't have even been driving, but I no longer live there. He is 3 weeks out of back surgery - fusing 3 vertibra. Instead of being thankful he is safe & no damage was done to his back or no new damage was added - he is ANGRY that they discharged him with no new narc...	AngieP	2	331	Feb 6, 2013 by PP
	Anybody Identify with this? (Preview) Why do we put ourselves in the position to be harmed? I know today I invited people into my life who were the most troubled people in society...I did that to myself because I wanted to victimize myself and I didn't know any better. I made myself a "victim", always blaming others for their own s...	WorkingThroughIt	11	549	Feb 6, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Learning to Love... (Preview) Hello Al-Anon Family :) Sorry its been So Long! I've had my Share of Tragity Mixed with some Magical Moments, which seems to be the story of my life here of late, but Still taking it Day by Day... Moment by Moment... And at times Second by second! I was sitting here in my Pity Pot Yesterday & For what eve...	Jozie	4	442	Feb 6, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	my self-care program: share (Preview) Hey all, i thought I would come here and share my care program, that I have tailored around my own Self. I first felt quite unusual you know, I am VERY good at caring for others, yet when I turned that around and started nurturuing myself, it felt odd: a little bit of guilt, that feeling to be selfish... bu...	tortuga	7	364	Feb 6, 2013 by pinkchip
	Need Help with Translating a Letter from my A (Preview) I received a letter from my A who is away at rehab. In the letter and I quote "I operate in a practical, business and organized approach. That may be when your feel pushed away because at that time we are operating in different worlds." (Which is based on the left side of my brain not working mos...	newwoman	9	417	Feb 6, 2013 by likemyheart
	My first step into al anon as an aa member (Preview) I am still trying to find a meeting that will fit into my schedule but I could really use some help now. I am an aa member ( actually celebrating my 6 year anniversary today!). I recently went backt to the west coast to visit my parents. My father is an alcoholic. I stayed in a hotel because of his drinking. I...	jackic	6	647	Feb 6, 2013 by jackic
	What to do? AH has done a 180.....AGAIN (Preview) AH's mom passed away a little over a week ago. She died suddenly and was found by the police on the bedroom floor. She had been there for a few days based on the decomposition of the body and both AH's brother and sister are dealing with a ton of guilt because they hadn't been checking up on her. Anyway, A...	ilovedogs	10	774	Feb 6, 2013 by Pushka
	Detachment Is Not Easy detachment sadness (Preview) I just need to share tonight. Nearly three weeks ago, I posted a couple of times. I was feeling so smart and empowered by what I was learning at Al-Anon. I made good healthy steps and difficult choices. I stopped arguing with him, mostly, when I knew he'd been drinking. I tried to listen more fully to him w...	ParisMemories	7	6290	Feb 6, 2013 by rehprof
	I am back here trying to make sense of everything (Preview) Hello all, I have only posted on here 2 times before and your responses helped me so much. Here I am again, back with my alcoholic boyfriend. I left him in April due to cheating and I ended up taking him back in July because his daughter came to town for the summer and I love her. He did go to AA that summer...	Gingerbread81	4	480	Feb 6, 2013 by Gingerbread81
	it can & will get better! (Preview) I figure that some days are bad days & some are good. I don't delude myself thinking that every day will be rosey. I still fight w/ the insanity sometimes but it is nowhere near what it used to be. My focus will be better. My load will be lifted. I don't want to be over-whelmed anymore. I have a very suppo...	Hoot Nanny	2	386	Feb 6, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Loosing control of my relationship with my recovering husband!!!! (Preview) I am a first time poster to this forum...My husband is currently in recovery. His drinking and drug days came to a stop with a DUI. Living with him has became increasingly more difficult. The moods swing from all so happy to I would rather leave then try to deal with this. I myself have began to feel this...	LosingItAll	7	624	Feb 6, 2013 by maryjane
	arrogant AH-dreading him getting off work (Preview) My AH went to a doctor that is now been treating him for BiPolar disorder for two months now. First month he drank heavy with the med and things were the same ..tho he said He felt "happy" he was stoned with the combo of booze and pills. I called the office manager and informed her of his alcohlic...	sweeetr	9	526	Feb 5, 2013 by Jozie
	What a week update .. Oi! (Preview) You know the whole if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have ANY luck .. LOL! Well .. I'm kind of dealing with that at the moment. Well .. I DID file a report with the sheriff's department and I have court. In doing so I was let go from my job, I had to totally laugh. I think that this is really ok. Knowin...	Pushka	8	500	Feb 5, 2013 by Jozie
	Co-dependency Humor (Preview) ***************************Q. What does a codependent have in common with God? >A. They both have a plan for your life.********** -- Edited by John on Monday 4th of February 2013 08:07:53 PM	John	11	1531	Feb 5, 2013 by Annie1234
	Work of my HP (Preview) When I first started alanon, I was very skeptical of a higher power. I wanted to believe but I was sure I had to help control the situation. I have been praying and hoping and praying some more...even talking out loud to my HP to intervene before my A kills himself or someone else. Last night it happene...	imom	4	305	Feb 5, 2013 by Pushka
	Sad again (Preview) My son is on a binge again. I was watching a program called Drugged about a young 29 yo man that was addicted to Alcohol. He agreed to go into rehab but only lasted 17 days before his young life was taken. I couldn't stop crying. I can't help but think this is what's next for my son. I feel because I can't...	Cathyinaz	9	470	Feb 5, 2013 by Pushka
	On the outside looking in.... (Preview) I keep telling myself that I am doing ok with everything, the move, divorce and being alone, but in part I think I am lying to myself. I don't know that I am as ok as I say that I am. I see my family and friends happy in their lives, things going well for them and they are moving forward doing new things for the...	cinders	2	323	Feb 5, 2013 by Pushka
	just a moment to reflect (Preview) I just need a moment to reflect. I have been in & out of sanity a lot in my life but have managed to survive all of it thanks to my Higher Power. These days I have been hanging by a string w/ my mind. I feel so bad about not being strong-minded. I won't beat myself up though. I don't know when I am going to get b...	Hoot Nanny	0	249	Feb 4, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Looking help and advice on the alcoholic in my life (Preview) Hello this is my first time here and looking for comfort and to get the courage I need. Well, alcoholisim is no stranger to me. My dad was an alcoholic and as I read in some of the other forums here as kids we always knew how good or bad our night was going to be depending on my fathers mood. So I grew up living i...	livestrong	5	319	Feb 5, 2013 by Mattie
	Need help, sick and tired (Preview) I've been with my husband for a year and a half. We've been married for the past six months now. There have been so many red flags the whole time we've been together and I turned a blind eye and just went along with it, for reasons I don't quite understand. I was in recovery when we met and started dating, the...	starryeyed	4	479	Feb 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Courage (Preview) This program is tricky because you never know for sure if you are accepting things you can't change or if you need to have courage and move on. The wisdom to know the difference will creep up on you and then sock you in the face. The statement above was posted in another post. However, it hit me right betw...	newwoman	4	417	Feb 4, 2013 by maryjane
	What a week .. (Preview) Well it has been a week to say the least. I have been flat on my back sick and that hasn't helped things. I felt like a mack truck hit me rolled backwards and hit me again. This is def a HALTS issues going on. Frustrated doesn't cover it. For the first time my STBAX has threatened me with physical harm. ...	Pushka	6	470	Feb 4, 2013 by Jackie11
	Rehab Counselor Questionnaire (Preview) In a moment of clarity, (HA ! HA! HA!....that is a LIE) I decided in lieu of the rehab "questionnaire" I would take it upon myself to again OVER ACHIEVE and overnighted a 143 page manifesto (my own Jerry McGuire if you will) recounting the last year with my love. That landed at the rehab facili...	newwoman	3	424	Feb 4, 2013 by newwoman
	Sex Conduct (Preview) The Step 4 inventory is not just resentments, there are two other sections...Fear and Sex Conduct. Hopefully your sponsor knows this and if not you might look for one who uses AA's Big Book, I mean it's not about alcohol anyway, it's about being human... The directions are clear on how to write a sex c...	WorkingThroughIt	1	557	Feb 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	So sick of people (Preview) Telling me to get over it. I just came out of a 23 year abusive, chaotic and traumatic relationship and marriage - physical, mental, alcohol and drugs...I asked for the divorce a year ago, he moved out 6 months ago, divorce final 2 months ago, visitation yanked 1 month ago. Really? Just get over it? How...	abbyalana	7	396	Feb 4, 2013 by Annie1234
	WHY do I need AlAnon help? (Preview) This probably seems like a no brainer, but if my DH has the problem, WHY do I need ALANON? He tells me it will help me to understand...i just don't get it...he's got the problem he needs to fix it...i'm trying to be patient and kind understanding and loving (and it's NOT EASY)...and now i have a problem to...	bsketlady	21	1725	Feb 4, 2013 by f2fmember
	I left out the BEST part of the call from rehab this morning! Whoopsie (Preview) I posted the statement below earlier HOWEVER, I FAILED TO MENTION, the end of the call (which is one for my "highlight" reel....) HE SAID HE NEEDED ME TO MAIL HIM HAIR GEL!!!!!!!!!! REALLY? You have got to be kidding me... HOW ABOUT MAILING ME MY HEART BACK that you broke!!!!!!!! Wow! WOW!...	newwoman	2	363	Feb 4, 2013 by PP
	Well...Well..Well.... (Preview) Well...Well..Well.... My Jerry McGuire manifesto was received by my love (client #202) @ his current alcohol free living zone. Based on his 10 minute scheduled call this morning, I don't believe my 143 pages recounting the past year watching him channel "OTIS" from the Andy Griffith Sh...	newwoman	3	327	Feb 4, 2013 by Annie1234
	I have lost myself (Preview) Hi, i am new to this forum but not completely new to Al-anon. I have attended a few meetings when I was feeling at my lowest but then I convinced myself I didn't need it and stopped going. My boyfriend is two years sober. I love him so much but have really struggled with accepting him lately. About 6 months...	gemmas	4	394	Feb 4, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	New to you and know I'm going to have to do something eventually. (Preview) I am new to this site as of about 10 minutes ago. In fact, this is the first time I have ever reached out this way. I did attend live meetings a few years back but didn't feel very welcomed so didn't go back. Last night, I came home from work and found my husband passed out in the recliner. A cereal bowl was tipp...	Amski	6	453	Feb 4, 2013 by hdftby100
	Have a Little Faith (Preview) I would like to thank those of you who have taken the time to respond to my postings. If it weren't for that I would have lost all faith in me, for this entire scenario with my love in rehab has been embarrassing, isolating, maddening, and very very scary. Your words give me hope to keep on going forward eac...	newwoman	6	332	Feb 4, 2013 by newwoman
	Emergency room yesterday, back to work today... (Preview) a long-ish share... you guys are the only folks I have to confide in... My AH called me at work- he seemed "weird"- we had an ok conversation but there were red flags... Lesson number one: ask direct questions- alcoholism is sneaky- in the past I'd say "tell me you're not drinking!&quo...	midas	8	479	Feb 4, 2013 by midas
	when is it caretaking? (Preview) Hi I am in a year long relationship with a nearly 2 year sober AA member, but its been a roller coaster ride. He is job hunting for the third time in one year. He has gotten fired twice and my AA sponser is saying end the relationship. I have many yrs of recovery myself and feel I am burdened with a teenager. I h...	maragal	9	386	Feb 4, 2013 by midas
	Sharing about setting boundaries? (Preview) Hey All! Dusting my Al-Anon hat off and finding I'm just a bit rusty! Making a long story short, my husband has been in recovery seven years in - three years out - eight years in - one night out - more than a year in and as of January 2nd - "Almost" out. By the time I realized he was back to all his usi...	Tennin	11	575	Feb 4, 2013 by midas
	Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink... (Preview) Last monday I called my exA to see if he could take my 16 yo to an important counseling appointment on the following monday (tomorrow). He is SO sick with pneumonia...he made sure to let me know he cannot walk, he cannot breathe...OH POOR HIM! I said, okay, the appointment isnt until next week though. W...	rehprof	5	2565	Feb 4, 2013 by f2fmember
	Victim (Preview) I cannot stress enough that we in 12-step recovery do not allow each other to be victims. If I sought out a marriage with an alcoholic or other sick person then I have to look at why. If I have family members who manipulate me I have to find out why. If I am constantly being manipulated and taken advantage o...	WorkingThroughIt	5	471	Feb 3, 2013 by el-cee
	Watching how it starts (Preview) I'm always thinking, "How have I managed to end up in such a series of dysfunctional relationships?" Addictions and dysfunctions of every stripe. What happened along the way where I didn't look out for the red flags and protect myself? So a few weeks ago I met an interesting man. In fact...	Mattie	4	340	Feb 3, 2013 by maragal
	What happened to me? (Preview) This morning I woke up and started to think how good everything is going, how I have so much to be thankful for, how even though my husband is an alcoholic it has never been that much a horrific battle that we couldn't pull out of it. He got the DWI's before we met, so that wasn't so bad. He never had to be in r...	1976love	7	453	Feb 3, 2013 by John
	Looking for Advice. First time here. Lost g/f of an addict.. (Preview) I dont really know where to begin.. In fact its still hard for me to admit some days that this is where my life has taken me. Four years ago i started dating a guy i went to high school with . At the time i was 25 and he was 28. There had always been something there when we were younger but it was always wrong tim...	Serenity16	3	369	Feb 3, 2013 by abbyalana
	Fear and anxiety (Preview) I learned yesterday my a/a daughter's 28y.o. son with his own a/a issues is homeless because she asked him to leave her house. I've been feeling anxious and fearful he would call me for help. Sure enough he did this morning, I told him "no" when he asked what I was doing and if he couldn't co...	Highlyfavored	2	415	Feb 2, 2013 by Jerry F
	Bankruptcy (Preview) Any thoughts or experience with bankruptcy. I am sinking in debt. I have an appointment with bankruptcy lawyer next week but I want as much information as possible. do would love some personal experiences if people don't mind personal such personal experiences.	imom	5	426	Feb 2, 2013 by Fool4You
	Harrassment (Preview) Harassment is the only way I can describe it. My AH had me as a captive audience in the car to day. I couldn't escape. He just kept telling me how his LPN who prescribes his mental health meds said she could write me a referral for a psychiatric evaluation. Then he said that she was not happy that I calle...	imom	4	389	Feb 2, 2013 by el-cee
	Recovering Husband - Lonely Wife (Preview) I always imagined and prayed to my HP that my AH would recover and we would live happily ever after. Somewhat of a fairytale I guess. My AH attends 3 meetings a week and has formed some excellent relationships that only recovering alcoholics can form. They understand, they grow, they work their step...	wifeofalcoholic	7	2874	Feb 2, 2013 by el-cee
	Detach, detach, detach (Preview) My grandmother passed away last week from a massive stroke. It was kind of sudden, but she was 87 - at an age where I just knew that eventually some time she'd go. While her death is unfortunate, what is more unfortunate right now is that my family is fighting. This is all hurt feelings extending out from w...	Aloha	3	558	Feb 2, 2013 by el-cee
	Emotional manipulation (Preview) I am coming to terms with a marriage cycle of emotional manipulation, compulsive lying and codependency. In accepting what I cannot change, I have always stood my ground when it comes to honesty, and therefore trust. Dishonesty I will always find to be unacceptable behavior, though I have learne...	ofservice	1	665	Feb 2, 2013 by hotrod
	where there is life there is hope (Preview) Our 21 year old son has managed to stay in employment, and tomorow moves into his own flat, today I saw him for the first time in two weeks to speak to, how quickly things can change for the better, this time last week his job hung in the balance and he had no permanent place to stay, I have felt so bad for turni...	Katy	5	345	Feb 2, 2013 by el-cee
	Detach not a chance…engage full tilt…you betcha! (Preview) I feel like now is not the time for me to even think about practicing detachment. Hindsight is 20/20 and had I known the detach rule during lets say the Christmas escapade with him passed out on the landing of the staircase AFTER he had made such as 'xxx' of both of us at a neighbors house. Yes! Detaching...	newwoman	2	439	Feb 2, 2013 by hopeful4ever
	Desperately seeking sanity..... (Preview) Hello. I'm new to Al-Anon. My husband of ten years (he's 41) recently admitted he is an alcoholic. I've suspected if for about a year but he finally said he words - on his own that is. In two months he has been to a total of four AA meetings. In two months of so called "sobriety" I have caught h...	Cam0612	4	364	Feb 2, 2013 by Cam0612
	Live-in bf oxy addict (Preview) My intelligent, loving, wonderful boyfriend of over a year is an opiate addict. When we first starting dating, I knew he was in recovery and had spend some time in rehab in college. At the time, recovery was something I really respected and admired about him. I thought that it was something he had dealt...	letlive27	2	422	Feb 2, 2013 by Mattie
	He is a new man for someone else... (Preview) It seems that the best and worse has happened....my STBXA has become the calm rational loving person I remember from 15 yrs ago...but with someone else. Appears to be sober, but as we no longer see much of each other i do not know. He says he hardly drinks at all. I asked for the divorce. I knew I could no lon...	Ontario	9	471	Feb 2, 2013 by Ontario
	On a Roll with Visit to Rehab (Preview) Out of irritation which fuels my less than banner behavior of late... I think I am going to shoe polish my car for the drive to the rehab visit with: HEY HONK FOR CLIENT #202. THE S.O.B. HAS BEHAVED FOR 30 DAYS IN A ROW! GO VARSITY!!!!! And of course, tie mylar balloons to every mirror.	newwoman	0	270	Feb 2, 2013 by newwoman
	Meeting room (Preview) I have tried so many many times to get into the meeting room here and never been able to. Is there something I am missing? I follow the link and get to the page but don't see the chat box load. Thoughts?	cinders	9	307	Feb 2, 2013 by cinders
	Newbie (Preview) Hi I am new here, and thought i'd pop by to say hi. I was thinking about going to an al-anon group but they are too far away for me to go so I thought I'd see if there was some thing online. Does this forum act like discussions had in the group sessions? x -- Edited by charli on Thursday 31st of January 2013 08:32...	charli	3	329	Feb 2, 2013 by f2fmember
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.