The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you EVERYONE yet again for saving my a@!.... In response to PinkChip and the "session question"... that is next month and costs 600.00. (a shotgun shell is a lot cheaper! I AM KIDDING) But really, how about you yucko's pay me 600.00 for the trip and my time. How about that? I like that idea much better. Also, to add insult to injury I just received yet another document from his alcohol free living zone with the "list of how as a visitor you are allowed to behave, dress, etc." It is all I can do to not write them back and say A. Do you honest to god think I would even consider "sneaking" booze to him? or B. wear a low cut shirt and short shorts? ( trust me... I would like to throttle him right now not %$#@ him! HELLO! Please spare me.) I am so irritated I could get really awful and ask if we will be speaking in english or spanish, how about some french or german for good measure. That might add some spice to the hour. Actually, It would be worth the trip to walk straight up to him..say nothing. punch him in the nuts and turn around- get back in my car and go home. Now that might be an episode for "Meet Mr. Alcoholic"! Love you guys and THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!!! Leigh
Oh and to Canadian Guy- I can only present the list you suggested IF I SPEND THE 600.00. WOW! One more thing Canadian Guy I would gladly spend the 600.00 if I could give it to them in UNROLLED PENNIES.
I promise this is my last piece of commentary...but I am SO WOUND UP RIGHT NOW...
Another thing "the facility asked was that WE do not bring flowers or sweets..." REALLY! HOW ABOUT THIS- WHY DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE THE A get us flowers... What is this cheerleading tryouts? Why in the H*!! would I want to bring him flowers. Because he has behaved for 30 days SO FLIPPING WHAT....HE IS 57 YEARS OLD- this isn't a NEW THING. He didn't just pass the bar exam. God Almighty! WHAT ABOUT "US" I ask again! What do we get out of the deal? He essentially has a staff catering to his every need so he can learn to free his mind and hope his A** follows. Seriously, as I sit and type this out- I THINK I AM MORE SCREWED UP THAN HE EVER HAS BEEN....truthfully, he is a genius. He got to do whatever he wanted- now he has an "excuse" for it and is being taken care of- WOW! Maybe it is time for ole Leigh to head Nevis for awhile and let the Four Seasons cater to my every whim. (I'll do that AFTER I punch him in the nuts and pay in pennies!)
Oh man, I feel like I am walking into a lions den, but I feel compelled to respond to you. I can SO FEEL YOUR anger. My A sister in law got me this mad once. I wanted nothing but hell for her. How could she be such a complete fool and throw everything she had away for snorting pills. She has 2 kids, a husband, a house, no job but her husbands money that he gives away like candy....everything handed to her on a silver platter and still goes to a rehab and act as if she is in a spa. She is completely self centered and allways will be. My AH still till this day hates every bone in her body. I never had to go visit her, but wouldn't have anyway. The family would often make jokes that we would fake being an addict so we can get 90 days of rest and relaxation. Not like she did much of anything to begin with, we were the ones that deserved that break....and I will stop right there....WE WERE THE ONES THAT NEEDED THAT BREAK. As time went on, I obsessed with hate, finding out everything little thing that she would do just to prove that she was a bad person, it became a need for me to know she was failing miserably and karma was gonna slap her in the face. Karma wasn't happening fast enough but my AH was spinning out of control. The hate he had for her was now in a bottle form and mine was internal. Got to a f2f meeting and kept going. These days I still don't like her, not so much hate (she said she enjoyed rehab because the kids didn't wake her up) but I seriously try every second of the day to focus on me. I don't want to be her...sound like her....look like her....so why am I focusing everything on her. This is MY LIFE, my only life, and why am I making her my focus? Might as well take the day and put it in the trash can. It sucks indeed what you are going through, this was just my sister in law, not my H. I can say this, I have heard it many times before, never untrust your gut...it's telling you something. I pray that you find some peace in all this, and just knowing that many people here know exactly what you are saying is a little comfort in your painful days...(i could think of alot of things to do with $600 bucks....JUST KIDDING!!!) I don't know ya...but I LOVE YA!!!! peace and love in the days to come!
Well I for one want to thank you for sharing your post. I needed a good laugh after a night of no sleep. You are simply stating what a lot of us are feeling. But seriously I wish you all the best. If you are not ready to go see him, I see no reason why you should. I would take full advantage of him being gone and enjoy the peacefulness. I would give a million dollars for that in my house! I think tonight you should have your favorite dinner and watch your favorite movie and take a long hot bubble bath. Try to lose yourself in the moment and quit letting him steal your peace. Good luck! ((((((Hugs!!!!!))))))
I can hear what you've been through. One question to think about might be: what is your reason for staying with him? You sound (understandably) angry and frustrated, yet you are still with him -- so there must be something that you're getting from it. What would you miss if you decided to separate? Remember that you are always a free agent. Hugs.
Really like Imom's idea. Time to take care of you! That's "What about Us?" you could respond to. What about you? Take the time to enjoy him being gone, reflect on you and what You want as Mattie states. You don't want this, then go. He can come home to an empty place. He can watch the door at rehab for someone who never comes. How often have you done that during his escapades? He may decide he better keep on the right track to ever get you back, he may not and he may slide immediately. Either way you being there or not that could happen. That's on him.
You sound like a very fun and energetic person. I liked your post instantly. No white washing anything. I'd get those bubbles and heck by the best steak you can find! Good luck to you!
