Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Clueless Optimist · Clueless Optimist

Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...

Pushka · Pushka

Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...

lnc12 · lnc12

Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...

Minaret · Minaret

This is currently what I am dealing with in my life right now: My AH has been actively drinking all 8 years of our marriage, got a DUI in 2008, he got better for about 6 months, but that was about it. He went backwards to blaming his mother who abandoned him, me and the kids. He thinks he doesn't have a problem...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My sister drinks every single day, but not to the point of drunkeness (as far as I know). She rations herself to 1/2 bottle of wine daily, and then more for special occasions or when on vacation or when getting together with friends. But always the 1/2 bottle per day. When she was scheduled to visit us,...

blondie99 · blondie99

I decided to talk to my boss about taking a few mental health days this week. She is somewhat familiar with what's going on but doesn't know all the gory details. She said she thought it would be a good idea and gave it her blessing. I have a feeling she's been through it too because she uses Al-Anon "l...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son is still alive. He spent 5 days in the hospital from a bike accident. Says he wasn't drinking . Found laying unconscious and 911 was called. He doesn't remember but that's what they told him. He complained about being in a neck brace for two days but the cat scans showed no damage. He said h...

laurab · laurab

When I arrived it Phuket my son appeared to be brain damaged. He walked with his legs far apart and he stumbled a lot. He had great trouble speaking and no short term memory. The hospital where he recovered from his near death binge, compounded by a bleeding ulcer, sent him out with 8 different meds, enou...

Lyne · Lyne

So I told my spouse that I need her to do something extremely serious and intense about her drinking and lying, and it is her choice, but if she doesn't I don't think I can stay in our marriage. I think my being honest is the good part, but obviously she doesn't want to work on her addictions or she would be...

5thofFive · 5thofFive

after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, finally came to my senses that my husband is a bona fide alcoholic. I really believed he wasn't drinking when he said he wasn't (or was only drinking in moderation, when he was trying that), until I'd find him passed out every 6-8 months or so from drinking alone when...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Trying to relax after computer problems. My head hurts & I am so darn tired of messing w/ the mess. Like I said yesterday, my weekend went well. Now back to the grind! I don't have a job but sometimes it feels like I am working my butt off just to survive! I am so frustrated! This is not a positive post at a...

WarmHands · WarmHands

Hello everyone. I'm posting today because my family, similar to many of yours, is suffering the affects of living with an alcoholic and addict. My mother as been on anti-depressants and valium for 23years. About 15 years ago, she added alcohol to her list of coping devices. Our family has swept it all...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm sitting here reflecting on today and I'd say overall today was a good day. For one, my AM went to work. Secondly, when she came home she only had 1 (as far as I know) glass of wine...that may not seem like a lot but she usually has 3+ glasses of wine a night...so this is an improvement.

el-cee · el-cee

My mothering instinct is strong. I've built a life away from my ex and I so want my kids to be here enjoying the fruits of my labour. I've worked really hard and against the odds at times to have a good career, wages not that good, and I now have a reasonable lifestyle. Small luxuries like a full fridge, inte...

lnc12 · lnc12

I had a conversation with my AH over the phone today, and instead of letting him ruin my day, I just needed to come here to vent. He called twice, and I missed them. Finally, on the third call, I answered. He was nearing drunk, so I should have just told him I would talk to him when he sobered up, but my willpow...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I'm use to ignoring be drunk embarrassing behavior of my ah. Doesn't happen everyday but pretty much can count on fri sat nights or both. I don't have friends over anymore because of this. But last night he wanTed to cook and invite my two adult children and his cousin over. So we did. He was so embarrassi...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm not new to AA, I've been to my brother's yearly sobriety celebrations (I don't know what the correct term is)...anyway...my brother, dad and best friend have all been telling me that going to a Face to Face meeting will help me deal with my AM's drinking, which I agree with 100%, but when it comes tim...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi al, I went to a convention at the weekend and my Hp spoike to me loud and clear, had been having a slip into old behaviours, got the guidance I needed. My life has improved so much over the past 5 years or so in al anon, I am working the steps and just coming up to step 8. I have moved forward in so many ways tha...

el-cee · el-cee

Well my son has been rushed to hospital. He's taken something and reacted violently with his friends. He is ccurrently homeless so not sure what tomorrow will bring when he's released. I called my ex ah to let him know and he's drunk so feeling a bit of a victim. When does this end?

Jerry F · Jerry F

and she was grateful. I got no judgements for people who enter AA and declare themselves alcoholic and who are really there to that they can show the alcoholics in their life what clean and sober is all about. I was at my Saturday morning AA by the Bay group and a visitor from out of the area chose to speak....

Jerry F · Jerry F

share below and the responses have been a re-read for me several times. I know why and it reminds me of when I first got into program and reached out for help myself. The support and feedback I got then was huge and supportive and life saving...for me. Lyne's post hit a recovery gratitude for the prog...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi everyone: I have been working hard to concentrate on me, put the focus on my own recovery, but like so many of us have found myself dragged back into the madness (only at my A's convenience of course!). The summary: After a couple of tumultous years with my marriage on the brink, I came to alanon and h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I went w/ an alanon friend to see West Side Story the musical yesterday. It was so much fun & I got to bond more w/ her. We traveled quite a distance to there & back. She is so much fun. We even got free parking--random act of kindness. A lady didn't know her friends had already paid so she paid for her...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH went to his outpatient program today. He is normally home by 1PM, but today he texted and said he was going to a friend's house afterwards for a bit. Of course my gut reaction was, yeah right, likely stopping at the bar or liquor store on the way....but I did not respond.... I waited and just texted back...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I dreamt I was driving a bus and my five year old was the only passenger. I came to an intersection that was tricky and sorta blocked. I bumped into a truck trying to get around the traffic and then ended up taking a left into a warehouse to get out of the mess. My original destination was to go straight but th...

craftymom · craftymom

Hi everyone. My AH has been trying to recover, basically on his own. Last week he took off for 2 days, no word. Then again on Saturday. Sunday morning I packed his bag and asked him to go away and get help. Last night he snuck back in. This morning I again asked him to leave, and he did. I told him he could come b...

birdie2013 · birdie2013

My boyfriend stopped drinking 36 days ago. We've been together for 2 years. I told him to stop drinking or get out. He's been drinking for 23 years. Heavily for about 5 years. It's a mixed blessing. We live together and he doesn't really speak to me anymore. He hasn't slept in the same bed with me for month...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Sitting here this afternoon doing nothing because I walked into the corner of the couch this morning and OMGosh my toes. Swollen, black and blue and hurts like H***. Hope I didn't break anything :) So.......why can't the A at least text or send a email telling his mom he's OK. I know he must be quite ou...

Diva · Diva

This afternoon he drank a bottle of vodka and started in on me. I took my dogs and left. Upon arriving back, I noticed he had gone to bed, but not before he threw the tv remote and smashed the screen on his new 60 inch smart tv. He is lost. He will never be sober for any length of time. It's too sad. I feel s...

Rinn · Rinn

hears the back story... Hubby has big pain med problem for three years. Lots of ups and downs, withdrawls hand holding... drained me. i finnally thought it was over he said he had 30 days. That was the longest ever before. But about a week ago I had to call 911 and get him to hospital fo rmeth phychosi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My son and AH were at a public tennis facility last night and they walked past a court where a man collapsed. My AH did CPR and my 14 year old son helped roll the guy over. It was pretty traumatic for the whole team but the man was a stranger so no one knew him. My son saw the whole thing, emergency crews work...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Feeling angry and resentful today, tallying up all the hurts and lies and disappointments suffered at the hands of my AH. First I recounted all the hurts of the last 6 weeks, which turned into a review of the last 2 years, since the drinking got so bad, until finally I was remembering hurts and slights fo...

Maria1 · Maria1

Hi there I have 2 children, a daughter, almost 11 and a son, almost 8. I was with their father for 13 years and we split 4 and a 1/2 years ago. When we first got together we both drank but he had the ability to keep going until he couldn't speak whereas I would stop when I felt drunk. His group of friends all dran...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

A little background. I separated from my AH in August and when I left, I took one of our 3 dogs. I left the cat, birds, fish and other dogs with him because I was moving in with my parents and didn't feel like I could take my "zoo". About 2 weeks later, I went to get my fish tank and birds and found my...

Sun sun · Sun sun

Hello This is my first time here, so bear with me! I am a 48 year old divorced mother of two, been through some big traumas that have led me to have PTSD and Complex PTSD and I have been working very hard on myself for quite a while now. As a result of that work I am quite tuned in with my alarm bells and am sensit...

davie · davie

so me and my exaw have been seperated for close to 6 months now, when i left she has been bombarding my friends and family with text messages telling me she loves me and trying to get a hold of me.... i had met someone else during this time who btw had a load of red flags show up !!!! but i continued with it anywa...

justlearning · justlearning

As exciting it is to see your loved one recover, how do you deal with them reinventing themselves into someone you don't know. Almost a selfishness of I don't care what you think.

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

This morning has been a bit hard. I'm having trouble giving my AM over to my HP....its consuming my thoughts which isn't a good thing... Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Heather 68 · Heather 68

I opened that door by calling the ex AB and picking up the phone after he kept hanging up on me. Of course he had been drinking, gives him beer muscles. So in for a lot of tears today. I heard "I never stopped loving you" and WTF I believed it. He tried so hard to get me to come to him but I was on to the m...

lnc12 · lnc12

So, I came face to face today with one of the scariest questions I've ever been asked: "Did you see any red flags before you married your husband?" Me: "Ummm... (long pause) Yes." "Why did you choose to ignore them?" Me: "Oh, just shoot me now and get it over with...

Markmark · Markmark

My wife has been sober now for 18 months and I still sleep down stairs I have no desire to sleep with her. I have not been the best husband in the past and she blames me for her drinking ( I was violent and did join dating agency's ) but I got counselling and she did support me. she thinks we should spit now as thi...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

Feeling lonely so what stupid thing do i do? That's right call the ex AB, who is drinking. Try to talk, not fight, he hangs on me says he is partying and its more fun cuz I'm not around. Tells me " how can you blame all your actions on me"? But I do, I try to tell him I could not handle the alcohol and I d...

lnc12 · lnc12

One of my favorite poems! The JourneyOne day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice - though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You...

newwoman · newwoman

My love is now out of rehab and in a few short weeks I find myself being pulled around in his wagon with 3 flat tires. Prior to his exit I was driving a car with 4 inflated tires, now true to form- I have allowed his games to creep back into to my center throwing me out of whack. Granted I am at least aware it is hap...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't believe it but it is my mom afterall. We were watching a movie yesterday & my mom exitted before the end. My husband & I were wondering what was wrong? I ended up getting called in a busy movie theater. The manager said" Is there a Kathleen in here? Just after they stopped the movie. A...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I feel terrible with myself. Over the last 6 months I have had struggles with myself and wife the wife's drinking. I was at a point of detachment with love. I had in my head that as long as she was not abusive to me, neglecting normal things, basically if it was just that I thought she drank too much and no...

mammapepper · mammapepper

I have been going through a lot..here's my story My bestfriend from when I was 14 was addicted to meth ofr years and recovered in 2010 through treatment centers and half way house. I was there for him and in 2011 we decided to be together and live together. I have two kids outside of him and have been divo...

texasgal · texasgal

I have posted before about the weekends which no surprise my AH is already ranting and raving about his job and how terrible it is to work their, etc. I know its just an excuse for him to stay out all weekend again. I have an early shift tonight so I made plans with another program friend to have a late dinner...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

There was a notice in the local newspaper recently about the weekly street sweeping program that resumes on April 1. I smiled when I read it - warm weather is on the way. The streets of my neighborhoood will be swept clean the third Wednesday of every month from April through October, and neighbors who a...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

Well stilling holding up. Was doing better but mourning the lose of my relationship still has my emotions raw. With my HP guiding the way and time I will work throught this. Some days are definitly better and easy than others. I am little sad at times and the bitterness comes and goes. I lost my love to the...

dponlyme · dponlyme

Basically kicked out of the house because wife was drunk and being abusive. No really major physical abuse but enough that it was intolerable. So here I sit the hospital emergency room with tablet. Not because I need medical attention but because they have free wifi. Place is empty. I am the only one in...

Pete · Pete

... sounds like something out of a tabloid magazine, and it probably could be. Wonder whether anyone can offer anything constructive on this... So, after a year of lies, my wife finally admitted to alcoholism in November last year and, after the usual refusals etc, finally agreed to go into rehab in...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

MY HP certainly works in mysterious ways! We are vacationing in Florida, AD daughter is home in PA. She just texted that her support hearing earlier today with her baby Daddy did not go well for her and is continued (yet again!!! ) AND.......that she just got home from a meeting entitled Life or Deat...

forestfairy · forestfairy

My ah is not drinking. He's not drinking and he's not an alcoholic and I've no reason to be going to alanon. He is so angry that he no longer hugs our son or has any interaction with him. He treats him as if he's not there. I think he is doing this because he is in a rage at me because I am getting help through ala...

1976love · 1976love

Sorry if this post is sort of long winded, but it's a definite point I need to share. When I first started Alanon I went because my AH told me it would be a good idea since he was going to AA. I of course agreed and went. I hear the horror stories of growing up with alcoholics and that in no way shape or form wa...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all Over the last 4 years I have spent most of my time and energy helping and in fear and worry for my son. Now that I've stepped back and practice the tools of Al-anon I'm feeling more like myself again. This week has been a little tough in the fact my son is drinking again and I started my worry again. I...

sunflower22 · sunflower22

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t53059024/should-i-keep-my-sponsor/

Jerry F · Jerry F

It's a God thing cause my HP and I have this kind of relationship. I'm not close to my family and haven't ever been that close. Both sides of my family come from within the disease and at one time we were all active. The relationships were (at least for me) not close and trusting and we had lots and lots o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to Stop the Negative Thinking (Preview) Okay, how can we help an addict to stop with being so negative? AH is in treatment right now and in some days, he seems fine but in some days, he's so negative about everything. He keeps thinking he's really ruined and there's no cure and there's no hope. He goes to his outpatient addictions treatment cl...	Clueless Optimist	8	1093	Mar 28, 2013 by maryjane
	dealing with friends of the family coming to visit (Preview) A week from this Thursday, we are having family friends visit us from FL. As if there isn't enough tension in the house already between my mom and dad....now we have company coming...should we pretend like nothing is wrong with my mom or should we have an intervention of sorts...from my experience wit...	phoenixmagicgirl	2	293	Mar 27, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	When someone shows you who they are .. (Preview) Believe them. I have spent soooo much time believing what someone tells me that when they show me who they are I can't wrap my pea brain around the fact they are probably being honest about their actions vs their words. I have had a good laugh at myself over the past couple of days. One of them is the fact...	Pushka	12	642	Mar 27, 2013 by Flame
	more pics... (Preview) Its so neat hearing cows, goats, horses, my guineas love it. feels like eden again. OH and wild ducks in the pond!i Um brought in some straw for the guinea pigs, Augy pig thought it was for him...August Ronan McPhate. tory is the horse. The gal tried to help her but its too much. So she is mine. Dickens the p...	Debilyn	1	357	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
	He's drinking in the mornings now (Preview) Well, it's 8:30 AM here where I live. I got a call from our tax assessor as I was leaving work remindining me that March 28th is the last day that we can homestead our house. She didn't have my AH's number for some reason. Well the house was left to my AH when his father died, and it is still in his father's name...	lnc12	2	352	Mar 27, 2013 by Tracy
	Overwhelmed Again (Preview) This is currently what I am dealing with in my life right now: My AH has been actively drinking all 8 years of our marriage, got a DUI in 2008, he got better for about 6 months, but that was about it. He went backwards to blaming his mother who abandoned him, me and the kids. He thinks he doesn't have a problem...	Minaret	5	464	Mar 27, 2013 by pinkchip
	Alcohol dependent sis, drinks when she visits, hard for AH (Preview) My sister drinks every single day, but not to the point of drunkeness (as far as I know). She rations herself to 1/2 bottle of wine daily, and then more for special occasions or when on vacation or when getting together with friends. But always the 1/2 bottle per day. When she was scheduled to visit us,...	lgnutah	5	290	Mar 27, 2013 by pinkchip
	mental health days (Preview) I decided to talk to my boss about taking a few mental health days this week. She is somewhat familiar with what's going on but doesn't know all the gory details. She said she thought it would be a good idea and gave it her blessing. I have a feeling she's been through it too because she uses Al-Anon "l...	blondie99	1	472	Mar 27, 2013 by PP
	Got the call (Preview) My son is still alive. He spent 5 days in the hospital from a bike accident. Says he wasn't drinking . Found laying unconscious and 911 was called. He doesn't remember but that's what they told him. He complained about being in a neck brace for two days but the cat scans showed no damage. He said h...	Cathyinaz	10	393	Mar 27, 2013 by Auntyaya
	24,000 miles later, home from Thailand (Preview) When I arrived it Phuket my son appeared to be brain damaged. He walked with his legs far apart and he stumbled a lot. He had great trouble speaking and no short term memory. The hospital where he recovered from his near death binge, compounded by a bleeding ulcer, sent him out with 8 different meds, enou...	laurab	5	539	Mar 27, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	honesty and a little pressure (Preview) So I told my spouse that I need her to do something extremely serious and intense about her drinking and lying, and it is her choice, but if she doesn't I don't think I can stay in our marriage. I think my being honest is the good part, but obviously she doesn't want to work on her addictions or she would be...	Lyne	4	301	Mar 27, 2013 by Lyne
	Husband in rehab after intervention, do I still love him anymore? (Preview) after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, finally came to my senses that my husband is a bona fide alcoholic. I really believed he wasn't drinking when he said he wasn't (or was only drinking in moderation, when he was trying that), until I'd find him passed out every 6-8 months or so from drinking alone when...	5thofFive	6	582	Mar 27, 2013 by lgnutah
	trying to relax (Preview) Trying to relax after computer problems. My head hurts & I am so darn tired of messing w/ the mess. Like I said yesterday, my weekend went well. Now back to the grind! I don't have a job but sometimes it feels like I am working my butt off just to survive! I am so frustrated! This is not a positive post at a...	Hoot Nanny	2	220	Mar 27, 2013 by hotrod
	Considering an Intervention...need help, advice, pointers please! Intervention enabling dual diagnosis' (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm posting today because my family, similar to many of yours, is suffering the affects of living with an alcoholic and addict. My mother as been on anti-depressants and valium for 23years. About 15 years ago, she added alcohol to her list of coping devices. Our family has swept it all...	WarmHands	7	7544	Mar 26, 2013 by Aloha
	A good day today... (Preview) I'm sitting here reflecting on today and I'd say overall today was a good day. For one, my AM went to work. Secondly, when she came home she only had 1 (as far as I know) glass of wine...that may not seem like a lot but she usually has 3+ glasses of wine a night...so this is an improvement.	phoenixmagicgirl	1	212	Mar 26, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	mothering role (Preview) My mothering instinct is strong. I've built a life away from my ex and I so want my kids to be here enjoying the fruits of my labour. I've worked really hard and against the odds at times to have a good career, wages not that good, and I now have a reasonable lifestyle. Small luxuries like a full fridge, inte...	el-cee	4	542	Mar 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Shouldn't have answered the phone... (Preview) I had a conversation with my AH over the phone today, and instead of letting him ruin my day, I just needed to come here to vent. He called twice, and I missed them. Finally, on the third call, I answered. He was nearing drunk, so I should have just told him I would talk to him when he sobered up, but my willpow...	lnc12	4	266	Mar 26, 2013 by lnc12
	Embarrassment (Preview) I'm use to ignoring be drunk embarrassing behavior of my ah. Doesn't happen everyday but pretty much can count on fri sat nights or both. I don't have friends over anymore because of this. But last night he wanTed to cook and invite my two adult children and his cousin over. So we did. He was so embarrassi...	sweeetr	4	345	Mar 26, 2013 by canadianguy
	too hard on myself? (Preview) I'm not new to AA, I've been to my brother's yearly sobriety celebrations (I don't know what the correct term is)...anyway...my brother, dad and best friend have all been telling me that going to a Face to Face meeting will help me deal with my AM's drinking, which I agree with 100%, but when it comes tim...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	218	Mar 26, 2013 by ilovedogs
	new beginnings (Preview) Hi al, I went to a convention at the weekend and my Hp spoike to me loud and clear, had been having a slip into old behaviours, got the guidance I needed. My life has improved so much over the past 5 years or so in al anon, I am working the steps and just coming up to step 8. I have moved forward in so many ways tha...	Tracy	2	229	Mar 26, 2013 by ilovedogs
	my son (Preview) Well my son has been rushed to hospital. He's taken something and reacted violently with his friends. He is ccurrently homeless so not sure what tomorrow will bring when he's released. I called my ex ah to let him know and he's drunk so feeling a bit of a victim. When does this end?	el-cee	9	402	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	So we talked the right program (Preview) and she was grateful. I got no judgements for people who enter AA and declare themselves alcoholic and who are really there to that they can show the alcoholics in their life what clean and sober is all about. I was at my Saturday morning AA by the Bay group and a visitor from out of the area chose to speak....	Jerry F	5	261	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Lyne's honesty and a little pressure (Preview) share below and the responses have been a re-read for me several times. I know why and it reminds me of when I first got into program and reached out for help myself. The support and feedback I got then was huge and supportive and life saving...for me. Lyne's post hit a recovery gratitude for the prog...	Jerry F	2	291	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	reaching out friends.... (Preview) Hi everyone: I have been working hard to concentrate on me, put the focus on my own recovery, but like so many of us have found myself dragged back into the madness (only at my A's convenience of course!). The summary: After a couple of tumultous years with my marriage on the brink, I came to alanon and h...	yanksfan51	5	325	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	not Alanon related but exciting anyhow (Preview) I went w/ an alanon friend to see West Side Story the musical yesterday. It was so much fun & I got to bond more w/ her. We traveled quite a distance to there & back. She is so much fun. We even got free parking--random act of kindness. A lady didn't know her friends had already paid so she paid for her...	Hoot Nanny	3	243	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Wedding Ring (Preview) AH went to his outpatient program today. He is normally home by 1PM, but today he texted and said he was going to a friend's house afterwards for a bit. Of course my gut reaction was, yeah right, likely stopping at the bar or liquor store on the way....but I did not respond.... I waited and just texted back...	ParisMemories	5	322	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Dread (Preview) I dreamt I was driving a bus and my five year old was the only passenger. I came to an intersection that was tricky and sorta blocked. I bumped into a truck trying to get around the traffic and then ended up taking a left into a warehouse to get out of the mess. My original destination was to go straight but th...	StargazerLily	2	257	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	First post, asked my AH to leave (Preview) Hi everyone. My AH has been trying to recover, basically on his own. Last week he took off for 2 days, no word. Then again on Saturday. Sunday morning I packed his bag and asked him to go away and get help. Last night he snuck back in. This morning I again asked him to leave, and he did. I told him he could come b...	craftymom	3	292	Mar 26, 2013 by Peggy7
	Emotional Distance after Alcoholic Stops Drinking emotion sober stop drinking emotional distance (Preview) My boyfriend stopped drinking 36 days ago. We've been together for 2 years. I told him to stop drinking or get out. He's been drinking for 23 years. Heavily for about 5 years. It's a mixed blessing. We live together and he doesn't really speak to me anymore. He hasn't slept in the same bed with me for month...	birdie2013	12	8566	Mar 26, 2013 by Flame
	Sitting here thinking (Preview) Sitting here this afternoon doing nothing because I walked into the corner of the couch this morning and OMGosh my toes. Swollen, black and blue and hurts like H***. Hope I didn't break anything :) So.......why can't the A at least text or send a email telling his mom he's OK. I know he must be quite ou...	Cathyinaz	11	514	Mar 26, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	He will never stop drinking....sorry to say (Preview) This afternoon he drank a bottle of vodka and started in on me. I took my dogs and left. Upon arriving back, I noticed he had gone to bed, but not before he threw the tv remote and smashed the screen on his new 60 inch smart tv. He is lost. He will never be sober for any length of time. It's too sad. I feel s...	Diva	7	411	Mar 26, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	setting bounderys...need some advice is it reasonable. (Preview) hears the back story... Hubby has big pain med problem for three years. Lots of ups and downs, withdrawls hand holding... drained me. i finnally thought it was over he said he had 30 days. That was the longest ever before. But about a week ago I had to call 911 and get him to hospital fo rmeth phychosi...	Rinn	10	382	Mar 26, 2013 by imom
	What would you do for your kids if they saw someone die? (Preview) My son and AH were at a public tennis facility last night and they walked past a court where a man collapsed. My AH did CPR and my 14 year old son helped roll the guy over. It was pretty traumatic for the whole team but the man was a stranger so no one knew him. My son saw the whole thing, emergency crews work...	ilovedogs	7	585	Mar 26, 2013 by imom
	Resentment (Preview) Feeling angry and resentful today, tallying up all the hurts and lies and disappointments suffered at the hands of my AH. First I recounted all the hurts of the last 6 weeks, which turned into a review of the last 2 years, since the drinking got so bad, until finally I was remembering hurts and slights fo...	ParisMemories	6	611	Mar 26, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Looking for advice re supporting my children (Preview) Hi there I have 2 children, a daughter, almost 11 and a son, almost 8. I was with their father for 13 years and we split 4 and a 1/2 years ago. When we first got together we both drank but he had the ability to keep going until he couldn't speak whereas I would stop when I felt drunk. His group of friends all dran...	Maria1	11	366	Mar 25, 2013 by Maria1
	What Would You Do? (Preview) A little background. I separated from my AH in August and when I left, I took one of our 3 dogs. I left the cat, birds, fish and other dogs with him because I was moving in with my parents and didn't feel like I could take my "zoo". About 2 weeks later, I went to get my fish tank and birds and found my...	wornoutmrsfixit	8	538	Mar 25, 2013 by Mattie
	I need some clarity and a lot of advice (Preview) Hello This is my first time here, so bear with me! I am a 48 year old divorced mother of two, been through some big traumas that have led me to have PTSD and Complex PTSD and I have been working very hard on myself for quite a while now. As a result of that work I am quite tuned in with my alarm bells and am sensit...	Sun sun	9	520	Mar 25, 2013 by Sun sun
	help making a descision !! (Preview) so me and my exaw have been seperated for close to 6 months now, when i left she has been bombarding my friends and family with text messages telling me she loves me and trying to get a hold of me.... i had met someone else during this time who btw had a load of red flags show up !!!! but i continued with it anywa...	davie	8	604	Mar 25, 2013 by John
	How to deal (Preview) As exciting it is to see your loved one recover, how do you deal with them reinventing themselves into someone you don't know. Almost a selfishness of I don't care what you think.	justlearning	4	307	Mar 25, 2013 by John
	Having trouble giving my AM over to my HP this morning (Preview) This morning has been a bit hard. I'm having trouble giving my AM over to my HP....its consuming my thoughts which isn't a good thing... Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.	phoenixmagicgirl	3	254	Mar 25, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Back on the roller-coaster! (Preview) I opened that door by calling the ex AB and picking up the phone after he kept hanging up on me. Of course he had been drinking, gives him beer muscles. So in for a lot of tears today. I heard "I never stopped loving you" and WTF I believed it. He tried so hard to get me to come to him but I was on to the m...	Heather 68	2	401	Mar 25, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Counseling (Preview) So, I came face to face today with one of the scariest questions I've ever been asked: "Did you see any red flags before you married your husband?" Me: "Ummm... (long pause) Yes." "Why did you choose to ignore them?" Me: "Oh, just shoot me now and get it over with...	lnc12	3	272	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	No feelings (Preview) My wife has been sober now for 18 months and I still sleep down stairs I have no desire to sleep with her. I have not been the best husband in the past and she blames me for her drinking ( I was violent and did join dating agency's ) but I got counselling and she did support me. she thinks we should spit now as thi...	Markmark	3	308	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	What am I thinking? (Preview) Feeling lonely so what stupid thing do i do? That's right call the ex AB, who is drinking. Try to talk, not fight, he hangs on me says he is partying and its more fun cuz I'm not around. Tells me " how can you blame all your actions on me"? But I do, I try to tell him I could not handle the alcohol and I d...	Heather 68	5	337	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	Just wanted to share (Preview) One of my favorite poems! The JourneyOne day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice - though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You...	lnc12	2	238	Mar 24, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	This board was the only home I felt normal living in...then I snuck out of the house. Can someone unlock the front door? (Preview) My love is now out of rehab and in a few short weeks I find myself being pulled around in his wagon with 3 flat tires. Prior to his exit I was driving a car with 4 inflated tires, now true to form- I have allowed his games to creep back into to my center throwing me out of whack. Granted I am at least aware it is hap...	newwoman	8	727	Mar 24, 2013 by Pushka
	my mom went to the ER last night. (Preview) I can't believe it but it is my mom afterall. We were watching a movie yesterday & my mom exitted before the end. My husband & I were wondering what was wrong? I ended up getting called in a busy movie theater. The manager said" Is there a Kathleen in here? Just after they stopped the movie. A...	Hoot Nanny	1	215	Mar 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I feel like such an idiot! (Preview) I feel terrible with myself. Over the last 6 months I have had struggles with myself and wife the wife's drinking. I was at a point of detachment with love. I had in my head that as long as she was not abusive to me, neglecting normal things, basically if it was just that I thought she drank too much and no...	hdftby100	5	622	Mar 24, 2013 by hdftby100
	Newbie needs advice (Preview) I have been going through a lot..here's my story My bestfriend from when I was 14 was addicted to meth ofr years and recovered in 2010 through treatment centers and half way house. I was there for him and in 2011 we decided to be together and live together. I have two kids outside of him and have been divo...	mammapepper	4	448	Mar 23, 2013 by kksmom
	finding things to do this weekend (Preview) I have posted before about the weekends which no surprise my AH is already ranting and raving about his job and how terrible it is to work their, etc. I know its just an excuse for him to stay out all weekend again. I have an early shift tonight so I made plans with another program friend to have a late dinner...	texasgal	6	255	Mar 23, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Street Sweeper (Preview) There was a notice in the local newspaper recently about the weekly street sweeping program that resumes on April 1. I smiled when I read it - warm weather is on the way. The streets of my neighborhoood will be swept clean the third Wednesday of every month from April through October, and neighbors who a...	ParisMemories	4	248	Mar 23, 2013 by afglin
	In Mourning (Preview) Well stilling holding up. Was doing better but mourning the lose of my relationship still has my emotions raw. With my HP guiding the way and time I will work throught this. Some days are definitly better and easy than others. I am little sad at times and the bitterness comes and goes. I lost my love to the...	Heather 68	1	278	Mar 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Here I am again (Preview) Basically kicked out of the house because wife was drunk and being abusive. No really major physical abuse but enough that it was intolerable. So here I sit the hospital emergency room with tablet. Not because I need medical attention but because they have free wifi. Place is empty. I am the only one in...	dponlyme	5	265	Mar 23, 2013 by PP
	I helped save her, now she's ending out marriage (Preview) ... sounds like something out of a tabloid magazine, and it probably could be. Wonder whether anyone can offer anything constructive on this... So, after a year of lies, my wife finally admitted to alcoholism in November last year and, after the usual refusals etc, finally agreed to go into rehab in...	Pete	5	425	Mar 23, 2013 by pinkchip
	Daughter went to a AA meeting this afternoon.... (Preview) MY HP certainly works in mysterious ways! We are vacationing in Florida, AD daughter is home in PA. She just texted that her support hearing earlier today with her baby Daddy did not go well for her and is continued (yet again!!! ) AND.......that she just got home from a meeting entitled Life or Deat...	LeenieBeanie	8	387	Mar 23, 2013 by AngelicH57
	his rage (Preview) My ah is not drinking. He's not drinking and he's not an alcoholic and I've no reason to be going to alanon. He is so angry that he no longer hugs our son or has any interaction with him. He treats him as if he's not there. I think he is doing this because he is in a rage at me because I am getting help through ala...	forestfairy	7	415	Mar 23, 2013 by Ebunny59
	me. (Preview) Sorry if this post is sort of long winded, but it's a definite point I need to share. When I first started Alanon I went because my AH told me it would be a good idea since he was going to AA. I of course agreed and went. I hear the horror stories of growing up with alcoholics and that in no way shape or form wa...	1976love	6	314	Mar 23, 2013 by 1976love
	Cleaning and a new hobby (Preview) Hi all Over the last 4 years I have spent most of my time and energy helping and in fear and worry for my son. Now that I've stepped back and practice the tools of Al-anon I'm feeling more like myself again. This week has been a little tough in the fact my son is drinking again and I started my worry again. I...	Cathyinaz	9	351	Mar 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'm gonna drop my sponsor... (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t53059024/should-i-keep-my-sponsor/	sunflower22	12	567	Mar 22, 2013 by el-cee
	Detached and still connected.... (Preview) It's a God thing cause my HP and I have this kind of relationship. I'm not close to my family and haven't ever been that close. Both sides of my family come from within the disease and at one time we were all active. The relationships were (at least for me) not close and trusting and we had lots and lots o...	Jerry F	7	458	Mar 22, 2013 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.