The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am glad that you purchased the tablet. It appears that it was not an impulse purchase. You sold your car,received more that you thought and then decided.
Great idea to reward yourself with the tablet. The ER was the perfect quiet place to use it and connect with family
In my thoughts
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 23rd of March 2013 08:58:04 AM
Basically kicked out of the house because wife was drunk and being abusive. No really major physical abuse but enough that it was intolerable. So here I sit the hospital emergency room with tablet. Not because I need medical attention but because they have free wifi. Place is empty. I am the only one in the waiting room. The privacy is actually nice as the waiting room is away from hospital personnel also.
All this supposedly comes about because I had the gall to purchase this tablet at big lots without her permission. We don't have a lot of money and I realize this and that is why I diligently inquired about the return policy to make sure that I could bring it back if necessary. Had a bit of extra cash due to junking my car and got quite a bit more than i figured. Still have plenty left after purchasing. She was upset at first and then softened but then got drunk and just got more and more abusive by invading my personal space and repeatedly asking nonsensical questions which she demanded answers to. Most having something to do with God and this tablet.
I realize that the tablet purchase was just her reason for drinking this time but it is still hard not to feel some blame. This tablet was really cheap as far as tablets go and they go really fast. They are almost always sold out of them so I jumped on it thinking that if I were to wait and discuss with her they would all be gone.
I have been learning to write programs for these android devices on an emulator but a real device is the real test that all developers use to make sure the apps will run correctly.
Bottom line I know is that if it weren't the tablet it would just be something else...some other perceived slight that would trigger her. I should be OK to go home in an hour or two at the most I would think.
I am somewhere between upset and anger. Not sure exactly how I should feel. Feel better than I did when I was at home. That's for sure. Think i'll watch some Netflix which works pretty good on this thing. Thanks for 'listening' alanon family.
Your post made me mad then sad then happy. I'm glad you are enjoying your tablet, you are an adult and you made an adult decision whereas your wife had a childish tantrum so right away your decision is way better than hers. I hate this disease so much. There was a time I would not spend money on myself, I looked terrible, I would only get my haircut when I really really needed it. I was a martyr and I was showing the world my misery. Not now, if I want something and I can afford it then I have it. I wear make up everyday. I try to look my best even when I feel crappy. Why should you have to leave because of her bad behaviour? At least you can have peace with your tablet. Netflix is good but I prefer sky's nowtv. I left my a too. I walked out left everything, partly due tothe martyr thing! But i got a furnished flat and felt better. Now i have my own furniture, a good job, hope, alanon. Four yrs down the line he's still playing the same old record, deep in his isms, all about him, sad sad life but hay it belongs to him. Me, I'm building a better life for myself, I'm much happier, I still live with aftermath debts, negative thinking, messed up children but it's not getting any more damaged. Enjoy Your tablet. She can enjoy her misery.
It sounds as if the partnership in your marriage is long gone, which I imagine has happened to most if not all of us married to alcoholics. If money is tight, probably usually one spouse would discuss a tablet purchase with the other before doing it. That you didn't suggests to me that the marriage is in a state where the emergency room is an appropriate place. I'm guessing that there's something positive about the marriage or you wouldn't still be in it. Your description of things does sound painful. I hope you have a meeting? The insanity just goes on and on unless something changes.
when I read your post what struck me was the fact she had an excuse to drink because you bought something without checking wither fist. In my experience they don't NEED any excuse. So she was blaming you so she could get away with being abusive. I like the visual we have in one of our books...when you point a finger at somebody you have three more fingers pointing back at yourself. So SHe is the one who had a lot more things to cause discord with than you did.
Glad you found a quite wi fi spot.
A few years ago we had a bad ice storm here that broke the electric lines in at least half of our town. We had no power for almost three weeks. We would go to Panerra to have coffee and warm up and I would take my laptop. One day we tried to go a little later and they had no tables at all. So we went across the street to Motel 6 and sat in the parking lot in the truck. My wifi worked fine from there. The hospital, library, colleges, gym, many, many restaurants and hotels here have wifi. If you look you can find lots of places to use your tablet. Many of these will even work from the parking lot.
Interesting symbolism in the "emergency room'? There are certainly varying levels of abuse when we live with an addict, however, abuse is abuse and when I tired of the abuse and my patterns of martyrdom, I no longer needed an emergency room. I hope the same for you.
