Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

1976love · 1976love

Boy oh boy, I am having a bad week. I have settled in to the fact that my husband will be going to a bachelor party this weekend and going to a strip club and I have to focus on him being an alcoholic and bad things can happen no matter where he goes. So while he has his fun at the bachelor party the soon to be wif...

neshema2 · neshema2

I know.WAAAAY of topic I have a bad back....muscle and soft tissue issues from eons of physical abuse and I think the ptsd added the back spasms that I have had since 1993.....the first ever attack (spasm) was so bad the muscle, I think tore and bled......I had to go to dr. to get sonar treatments on it to g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have discovered that I have to slow down now & always. I am so stressed but mostly because I am tired. I have not been able to resolve any of my issues but at least I can see that it is possible. I have to let things go! I am so grateful for the program because w/o it I wouldn't have as much support as I do. To...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH and I were doing better. Yesterday was a day like old times, we went for a drive, browsed at the flea market, went for a nice lunch, we laughed and held hands. And then today he went to a morning meeting and was 2 hours late coming home. He did his usual routine, came in the back door and went straight to t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Every year AH qualifies for a sales incentive trip. Last year I didn't go with him on his trip to Costa Rica, this year I've turned down the trip to St Thomas. He is taking it quite personally this time around and thinks that I'm embarrassing him by not going. On last year's trip he apparently got plast...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but t...

neshema2 · neshema2

GIVE...but check my motives and make sure it is purely out of love and do NOT allow me to get used anymore.....do it w/my eyes open and sure...Its great to give, but when does Giving become enabling or being used??? I have really come far in this... Love..Love is what makes the world go round for me...Lov...

neshema2 · neshema2

Ok...for me the wishbone is visualizing those "doable" wants and needs that I don't have as yet.......its ok to "wish" "dream" visualize, but sometimes I get up in the stratosphere, and slowly I am making my "wish bone" more realistic Backbone??? ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I hope this helps, not sure where I got it. Hello. As a recovering Alcoholic, I too struggled for years with the acceptance of Alcoholism being a disease...because I had always been taught it had to do with being weak willed,etc. How many times I cried out to God to free me of this horrible desire,crave,...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Jerry's recent post about giving it away and BreakingFree's post about her neighborhood had me thinking at odd times when I'm allowed the luxury of uninterrupted thought. (Like when I'm driving). In my thinking, the two separate posts, speak to the same thing, giving it away. Remember the song, or p...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I went from paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude. "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it and you can't Control it. QTIP ~ Quit taking it personally Let Go and Let God S-save M-mother O-obsess O-own T-take abuse H-HP (be his or l...

neshema2 · neshema2

Since lowering my expectations even with the dependable people and zeroing the expectations of some others (in my outter circles) I am soooo much less encumbered w/resentments.....my old sponsor told me , unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments... Now some "expectatio...

rehprof · rehprof

Yesterday the exAH spent the day at my home with the kids. I had work to do so I stuck around. The kids have set up this big airsoft course...and the ex had bought new guns and equipment..including an expensive mask for my 11 YO. This with no job, no place to live...living with his sister. And of course he ca...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am looking at one of my character defects and am still trying to put into action handing it over. I come from addict/alcoholic parents and I am so proud that I did not follow suit. My brother drank growing up and I cleaned up after him and of course I grew up and married an A. I have now been divorced from ex...

4my2kids · 4my2kids

So my ex got out of the hospital/psych unit last week. Tonight daughter and I stopped the hotel so he could give me school supply money for daughter and she wanted to see his "apartment" ( he has been at an extended stay hotel for a month). Of course I immediately notice he had drank today despi...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok I'm not going to lie .. I'm terrified .. I don't know what to expect. The offer letter that his atty sent was horrific .. and at the very end basically what was implied not stated is that my kids are horrible brats and that they left that Friday not because their dad was drunk .. because they weren't gett...

sadsusie · sadsusie

My AH has been given privileges in his first week of rehab. He has snuck a phone call to me at 6:30AM. And His counselor let him call me today. Primarily because he was not able (no real idea why) to get online access to our scottrade account. I assume that online access was special too. I was shocked to he...

afglin · afglin

Yesterday I made a God Can. I had bought a little can of peanuts at wal mart for $1 and saved the can. I covered the top with strips of marble-like contact paper. (Strips overlap and smooth better than just one piece.) THen I covered the sides and cut a slit in the top with an x-acto. On the top I wrote with sha...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For once in my life when a friend had an awkward situation happen to him today I didn't jump in with what I thought happened, how difficult it was (it definitely was) and what I think really happened. He certainly did that to me a year ago and I can't say it helped one bit. But then there is a reason he is my f...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, just been writing out some of my amends I intend to make over the next couple of weeks feels good this cleaning house. I am on step 10 and have just developed my own personal checklist for the end of each day I am also going to purchase a new journal and build this activity into my daily routine. At th...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have heard in many meetings that the AA big book is not Al-Anon conference approved literature. This subject was brought up again last night at a meeting. I have been in this wonderful program for a short five years and have yet to see it in print. I have heard it many times but don't remember seeing...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, as I mentioned in my first post, I used to do more than my share of drinking too, so I never really thought too deeply about his- because- well I guess I would have had to look at myself too. So I rescued and argued and felt the stress of being "the responsible one" while he blamed and failed...

DebraAnnRegan · DebraAnnRegan

My boyfriend is a drunk. He drinks 151. Full pints. Whats more he gets violent sometimes whens hes drunk and I left him tonight cause he wanted to go get another pint and was already toasted. Whats worse is that the last time he drank two or three pints he got real violent and hurt my teenagers. That was a ye...

Bettina · Bettina

"Whatever you are not changing, You are choosing." Laurie Buchannon

grateful2be · grateful2be

On Saturday, my organization treated families to a sightseeing trip and then a trip to the beach for a day. One family that I had met early on in my work all went together. The Mom was in her late twenties and her only son at that time young. I lost track of them for awhile and then the Mom resurfaced with t...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I need some E/S/H. Haven't spoken with my son in weeks - not since I called him and he was slurring his words, then jailed, then on the streets, then in a supervised residence, now it seems back at the place he was staying and then arrested for whatever led to it. He came to my office this week and my assist...

hisimage · hisimage

I've never been to an Al anon meeting nor has my AH been to AA. As my Husband would say: I "have just enough information to make me dangerous". I'm under the impression that because my husband owns a successful company, has hobbies, well known and respected in the community and a member of a c...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My relationship with my father saddens me. I am coming closer to really accepting it though, at least I think I am. Because it recreates itself with others in my own adult life, it had to be completely accepted. My father has done everything possible to see that I won't recover after going through the s...

swood31 · swood31

I've attended 3 Al-Anon meetings so far & I guess it just hasn't clicked yet. Everyone is so vague with their sharing. I haven't really heard any real scenarios & how we should handle them. I'm not sure how to NOT worry and be concerned for my husband when he could very well die. On the subject of d...

Venera · Venera

I hope I didn't overwhelemed this forum with all the questions, but here is one more. My frined is doing a baby shower for me this weekend, which is Very nice of her, but she has 3 small children and a husband that likes to drink. So while we will be in her house with the girls, she wants to send her husband wi...

tortuga · tortuga

and we are back in the abuse again. It's not that i didn't see it coming. I just hoped for a while there could be a different outcome, this time. a lesson repeats itself until it is learned and internalized, right! So I separated from A, he moved out, and i try to move on. 2 days ago we settle on a friendly fare...

JustMe2013 · JustMe2013

Hi there, this is going to be a long first post...Hang in there! AH is finally in AA (30 days sober on Monday!) I went to my first face to face alanon meeting last Tues, and am going to try another this Thurs. I have codependency issues from far before meeting my DH. I detached about 6 months ago from him...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

First got a text message of somebody with a really broken face. No nose, chin and two black eyes. That be my son. I then got the call......crying still getting sober and lost in his alcoholism. So sad and pitiful. Just got out of the hospital I asked about him going to the ranch and he proceeded to te...

John · John

Better Days Are Ahead! Before you go any further reading this, take a deep breath and release it. Do it twice. Then read below... I know from personal experience the sorrow your heart feels. I know that right now, you have more questions than answers. I know what it feels like to hold my breath throughou...

neshema2 · neshema2

"looking for love/happiness in all the wrong places"....that old song, "looking for love" it was the big song in Urban cowboy....I so related to it....I used to go to bars, singles places, anywhere to find love, and it evaded me...I didn't love me so I didn't attract love fro...

sadsusie · sadsusie

PREFACE: I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decisions) had escalated to the point where he was putting me in danger as far at the people who were in my home...and I was putting my self in danger because I was at an emotional breaking point from the stress of his behavior as...

1976love · 1976love

Hello all, Sorry it's been a very long time sice I visited you. This disease is tricky, just when you think you are doing good...SMACK, HP brings you back to some more testing. My AH just can't have enough courage to let his old friend vodka leave his side. So, I am letting him live his tortured life and...

oldergal · oldergal

"When the pain of where you are, is greater than the fear of where you will be, you will move" I have read this before I think on this board and I do believe it gets down to the some real roots of life, I don't take credit for it, but I do think it is worth repeating and thinking about, especially wh...

oldergal · oldergal

Or are they just drinking and can't control their emotions? When they sober-up doesn't that change a lot of times? And are people really depressed or is that an over used word? What do you think? oldergal

Jerry F · Jerry F

This gal gets a sad phone call at work and after a time of crying goes into her bosses office and asks, "Can I have a grief day off next Wednesday"? Her boss replies, "Of course you can...is there something we can support you with". She takes a deep breath and replies, "Ever...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My A/A daughter called to say she is out of food, everything. I told her I would bring my granddaughter to my house, she doesn't want to come. She said she will have food on the 7th of the month. She said she felt like she was having a neverous breakdown, I told her I would pick up B. and call her dad to come p...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Whether it is good or bad, I am taking life very seriously. I can't go anywhere or do anything w/o feeling the pain of my mom's illness. I am walking around confused & I am actually getting enough sleep although I wake up w/ stress. I can't go on like this & I hope to find serenity on this forum. I nee...

neshema2 · neshema2

I had no idea that it was my sovereign right to be happy....Only to please others...Meet their needs at the total denial of my own needs..My own happiness...Now through program, I have the right to be happy...To pursue happiness...To do what ever I need to do w/out harming another creature to find my h...

Venera · Venera

So my AH displayed his drinking problem infront of my mom last week (not going to work for 3 days and just drinking home and watching tv, driving to get more booze, etc, though not disturbing anybody, bringing food for lunch for all a few times, not putting tv loud, etc). My mom asked me a lot of questions a...

John · John

It's Sunday morning. The sun is peeking through the trees that surround my home, My dogs have all been outside and done their thing. Now I sit here with a cup of coffee and I kinda giggle at myself. Last night I got a call from my son. He, his girlfriend, another young lady friend of hers, and her mother...

neshema2 · neshema2

I had a hard time accepting being powerless...then I came , through program, to understood that I am powerless over OTHER people or places and things, but not helpless about can I take care of me anyway??? Sure I can.... Maybe this will help sort out the difference....

Tiff5484 · Tiff5484

I am new in Alanon, I started out doing one meeting a week. Which in my situation was not enough, so I found another meeting to go to and now I go to 3 meetings a week and plus I get on here now so I go to one everyday. I got involved in Alanon because I have a very unmanageable life and I do not have a relationship w...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Acceptance is really where I struggle. I tend to look at my AH and remember who he was, who we were, and I want that back as I'm sure he does, too. Yet, he's changed, he's started drinking, he's gotten a DUI, he lies now about stupid stuff, he wants me to just blow off unacceptable behavior. And, I have ch...

magazine · magazine

So I attended my first al anon meeting. I didn't know what to expect....the group was so wonderful and warm. One of the speakers read out her story (1 year member) and from her first line to the last it could have been my story. They encouraged me to keep coming back which I will. I felt empowered by the...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. sooo .. I'm dealing with court stuff and for the LIFE of me couldn't figure out why the STBAX's arrest wasn't listed on the county website .. it's amazing what is listed that is considered public record. Our little town lists more than most so it's informative. Yes, this is going to sound so unhea...

Pushka · Pushka

The kids and I had a great day. I worked around the house a LOT because it's a mess .. that's ok .. it didn't get here over night and it's going to take another full day of working to get it looking better. The house is a complete reflection of my brain at the moment .. kind of not pretty. I was even able to get...

neshema2 · neshema2

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was going to go to a AA open meeting tonight but I was asked to go to a BBQ going away party so I said yes. I thought I just needed to get out and be with people that are smiling and having some fun. Had a nice time and I'm tired now and ready to relax and just watch some TV. Good night all......see you tomorro...

Jerry F · Jerry F

You must give it away. That lesson remains a large part of my serenity and my sobriety. This was a "higher education" sponsor - sponsee work event from thought to action and of course I attended all classes for fear of the consequences of if I didn't. Aloha MIP Family. My wife and I jus...

oldergal · oldergal

Daily renewal is a statement about how you wish your day, and ultimately your life, to unfold. It is your soul speaking to your heart, your heart translating to your mind, and your mind giving your body directions. It is ultimately an expression of self-love! -Bob Greene

qwerty49 · qwerty49

I'm really struggling to cope with my mums drinking. She keeps letting me down, dismissing me, ignoring me when i try to tell her i'm upset and I feel angry about it so much, and another part of me feels so much emotion and love. She's been drinking now for over 30 years, but used to eat healthy and now she st...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was on step 4, but in the light of latest events, I am BACK on the hardest step for me...STEP 3 on STEP 3..............I "made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power AS I UNDERSTAND IT...." I once told a newbie, this was my rendition of STEP 3......imagine ly...

FAITH1988 · FAITH1988

Hi Everyone, Yesterday my son graduated rehab all of his peers in the house (small facility-25addicts) each spoke to my son. First the counselors, all recovered addicts or alcoholics, who decided to make saving those like themselves a life goal. My son upon release was there 30 days. So no other male...

Gaby · Gaby

I just want to say that I will be praying for all of us that are and have lived in chaos caused by the ones that we love due to there choices of addictions.. We all need serenity, and our higher power to touch us so we know we will be ok. God bless you all and many prayers will be said in a very spiritual place that...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I been to every meeting this week. I'm working hard . My Sponser can't guide me anymore things have taken place on her side and can't work with me. I'm now on my own. My 9 month ah husband moved back I'm the house . He is better he wants to help me get better soon. Before he told me he was moving back in he stated h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	are you kidding me, I wasn't even looking for it (Preview) Boy oh boy, I am having a bad week. I have settled in to the fact that my husband will be going to a bachelor party this weekend and going to a strip club and I have to focus on him being an alcoholic and bad things can happen no matter where he goes. So while he has his fun at the bachelor party the soon to be wif...	1976love	11	431	Aug 9, 2013 by grateful2be
	tennis ball acupuncture????? (Preview) I know.WAAAAY of topic I have a bad back....muscle and soft tissue issues from eons of physical abuse and I think the ptsd added the back spasms that I have had since 1993.....the first ever attack (spasm) was so bad the muscle, I think tore and bled......I had to go to dr. to get sonar treatments on it to g...	neshema2	4	437	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	so much to say so little time... (Preview) I have discovered that I have to slow down now & always. I am so stressed but mostly because I am tired. I have not been able to resolve any of my issues but at least I can see that it is possible. I have to let things go! I am so grateful for the program because w/o it I wouldn't have as much support as I do. To...	Hoot Nanny	3	279	Aug 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	Stay Out of the Basement (Preview) AH and I were doing better. Yesterday was a day like old times, we went for a drive, browsed at the flea market, went for a nice lunch, we laughed and held hands. And then today he went to a morning meeting and was 2 hours late coming home. He did his usual routine, came in the back door and went straight to t...	ParisMemories	11	708	Aug 9, 2013 by orchidlover
	Turned down a trip to St Thomas (Preview) Every year AH qualifies for a sales incentive trip. Last year I didn't go with him on his trip to Costa Rica, this year I've turned down the trip to St Thomas. He is taking it quite personally this time around and thinks that I'm embarrassing him by not going. On last year's trip he apparently got plast...	ilovedogs	10	422	Aug 9, 2013 by orchidlover
	Love that I found this, a must read, I could never have said it so eloquently! (Preview) Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but t...	Breakingfree	4	330	Aug 9, 2013 by rehprof
	I think it boils down to discernment (Preview) GIVE...but check my motives and make sure it is purely out of love and do NOT allow me to get used anymore.....do it w/my eyes open and sure...Its great to give, but when does Giving become enabling or being used??? I have really come far in this... Love..Love is what makes the world go round for me...Lov...	neshema2	2	327	Aug 8, 2013 by PP
	another 3 things good for recovery (Preview) Ok...for me the wishbone is visualizing those "doable" wants and needs that I don't have as yet.......its ok to "wish" "dream" visualize, but sometimes I get up in the stratosphere, and slowly I am making my "wish bone" more realistic Backbone??? ...	neshema2	3	360	Aug 8, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I saw this this morning and wanted to share here (Preview) I hope this helps, not sure where I got it. Hello. As a recovering Alcoholic, I too struggled for years with the acceptance of Alcoholism being a disease...because I had always been taught it had to do with being weak willed,etc. How many times I cried out to God to free me of this horrible desire,crave,...	Breakingfree	4	368	Aug 8, 2013 by Jackie11
	Musing - Giving Love Away (Preview) Jerry's recent post about giving it away and BreakingFree's post about her neighborhood had me thinking at odd times when I'm allowed the luxury of uninterrupted thought. (Like when I'm driving). In my thinking, the two separate posts, speak to the same thing, giving it away. Remember the song, or p...	likemyheart	9	460	Aug 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Slogans anyone (Preview) I went from paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude. "Place me where you want me and tell me what to do". You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it and you can't Control it. QTIP ~ Quit taking it personally Let Go and Let God S-save M-mother O-obsess O-own T-take abuse H-HP (be his or l...	Breakingfree	10	488	Aug 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	expectations (Preview) Since lowering my expectations even with the dependable people and zeroing the expectations of some others (in my outter circles) I am soooo much less encumbered w/resentments.....my old sponsor told me , unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments... Now some "expectatio...	neshema2	6	269	Aug 8, 2013 by neshema2
	I'm fresh out of serenity... (Preview) Yesterday the exAH spent the day at my home with the kids. I had work to do so I stuck around. The kids have set up this big airsoft course...and the ex had bought new guns and equipment..including an expensive mask for my 11 YO. This with no job, no place to live...living with his sister. And of course he ca...	rehprof	7	473	Aug 8, 2013 by rehprof
	Me~ Self righteous? (Preview) I am looking at one of my character defects and am still trying to put into action handing it over. I come from addict/alcoholic parents and I am so proud that I did not follow suit. My brother drank growing up and I cleaned up after him and of course I grew up and married an A. I have now been divorced from ex...	Breakingfree	17	806	Aug 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	He has progressed to having the shakes (Preview) So my ex got out of the hospital/psych unit last week. Tonight daughter and I stopped the hotel so he could give me school supply money for daughter and she wanted to see his "apartment" ( he has been at an extended stay hotel for a month). Of course I immediately notice he had drank today despi...	4my2kids	7	451	Aug 8, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Court tomorrow .. (Preview) Ok I'm not going to lie .. I'm terrified .. I don't know what to expect. The offer letter that his atty sent was horrific .. and at the very end basically what was implied not stated is that my kids are horrible brats and that they left that Friday not because their dad was drunk .. because they weren't gett...	Pushka	13	513	Aug 8, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	trying to makes sense of it all while AH is in Rehab (Preview) My AH has been given privileges in his first week of rehab. He has snuck a phone call to me at 6:30AM. And His counselor let him call me today. Primarily because he was not able (no real idea why) to get online access to our scottrade account. I assume that online access was special too. I was shocked to he...	sadsusie	6	371	Aug 8, 2013 by Bettina
	God Can (Preview) Yesterday I made a God Can. I had bought a little can of peanuts at wal mart for $1 and saved the can. I covered the top with strips of marble-like contact paper. (Strips overlap and smooth better than just one piece.) THen I covered the sides and cut a slit in the top with an x-acto. On the top I wrote with sha...	afglin	8	227	Aug 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	Knowing what others need. (Preview) For once in my life when a friend had an awkward situation happen to him today I didn't jump in with what I thought happened, how difficult it was (it definitely was) and what I think really happened. He certainly did that to me a year ago and I can't say it helped one bit. But then there is a reason he is my f...	orchidlover	9	436	Aug 8, 2013 by bud
	Steps (Preview) Hi All, just been writing out some of my amends I intend to make over the next couple of weeks feels good this cleaning house. I am on step 10 and have just developed my own personal checklist for the end of each day I am also going to purchase a new journal and build this activity into my daily routine. At th...	Tracy	4	232	Aug 7, 2013 by hotrod
	Conference approved literature (Preview) I have heard in many meetings that the AA big book is not Al-Anon conference approved literature. This subject was brought up again last night at a meeting. I have been in this wonderful program for a short five years and have yet to see it in print. I have heard it many times but don't remember seeing...	Mobirdie	8	4680	Aug 7, 2013 by anonymous unschooler
	The path of least resistance. (Preview) Well, as I mentioned in my first post, I used to do more than my share of drinking too, so I never really thought too deeply about his- because- well I guess I would have had to look at myself too. So I rescued and argued and felt the stress of being "the responsible one" while he blamed and failed...	Melly1248	5	362	Aug 7, 2013 by Melly1248
	Newby needs listening ear & help! (Preview) My boyfriend is a drunk. He drinks 151. Full pints. Whats more he gets violent sometimes whens hes drunk and I left him tonight cause he wanted to go get another pint and was already toasted. Whats worse is that the last time he drank two or three pints he got real violent and hurt my teenagers. That was a ye...	DebraAnnRegan	13	538	Aug 7, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Perspectives! (Preview) "Whatever you are not changing, You are choosing." Laurie Buchannon	Bettina	7	302	Aug 7, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Coming to the end of the chapter - sweet, sweet experience (Preview) On Saturday, my organization treated families to a sightseeing trip and then a trip to the beach for a day. One family that I had met early on in my work all went together. The Mom was in her late twenties and her only son at that time young. I lost track of them for awhile and then the Mom resurfaced with t...	grateful2be	19	510	Aug 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	New development - son (Preview) I need some E/S/H. Haven't spoken with my son in weeks - not since I called him and he was slurring his words, then jailed, then on the streets, then in a supervised residence, now it seems back at the place he was staying and then arrested for whatever led to it. He came to my office this week and my assist...	grateful2be	26	587	Aug 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	It's not really functioning (Preview) I've never been to an Al anon meeting nor has my AH been to AA. As my Husband would say: I "have just enough information to make me dangerous". I'm under the impression that because my husband owns a successful company, has hobbies, well known and respected in the community and a member of a c...	hisimage	11	501	Aug 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Rejection from Father (Preview) My relationship with my father saddens me. I am coming closer to really accepting it though, at least I think I am. Because it recreates itself with others in my own adult life, it had to be completely accepted. My father has done everything possible to see that I won't recover after going through the s...	WorkingThroughIt	12	566	Aug 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Feeling Hopeless alcoholic husband (Preview) I've attended 3 Al-Anon meetings so far & I guess it just hasn't clicked yet. Everyone is so vague with their sharing. I haven't really heard any real scenarios & how we should handle them. I'm not sure how to NOT worry and be concerned for my husband when he could very well die. On the subject of d...	swood31	13	584	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	Still worring too much? (Preview) I hope I didn't overwhelemed this forum with all the questions, but here is one more. My frined is doing a baby shower for me this weekend, which is Very nice of her, but she has 3 small children and a husband that likes to drink. So while we will be in her house with the girls, she wants to send her husband wi...	Venera	8	570	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	letting the storm pass...and breathe. (Preview) and we are back in the abuse again. It's not that i didn't see it coming. I just hoped for a while there could be a different outcome, this time. a lesson repeats itself until it is learned and internalized, right! So I separated from A, he moved out, and i try to move on. 2 days ago we settle on a friendly fare...	tortuga	9	484	Aug 7, 2013 by orchidlover
	New to recovery - Not A daughter issues (Preview) Hi there, this is going to be a long first post...Hang in there! AH is finally in AA (30 days sober on Monday!) I went to my first face to face alanon meeting last Tues, and am going to try another this Thurs. I have codependency issues from far before meeting my DH. I detached about 6 months ago from him...	JustMe2013	23	561	Aug 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	Found out what happen to my son (Preview) First got a text message of somebody with a really broken face. No nose, chin and two black eyes. That be my son. I then got the call......crying still getting sober and lost in his alcoholism. So sad and pitiful. Just got out of the hospital I asked about him going to the ranch and he proceeded to te...	Cathyinaz	38	749	Aug 6, 2013 by John
	Better Days are ahead.... (Preview) Better Days Are Ahead! Before you go any further reading this, take a deep breath and release it. Do it twice. Then read below... I know from personal experience the sorrow your heart feels. I know that right now, you have more questions than answers. I know what it feels like to hold my breath throughou...	John	12	464	Aug 6, 2013 by neshema2
	how many decades did it take me to learn THIS??? (Preview) "looking for love/happiness in all the wrong places"....that old song, "looking for love" it was the big song in Urban cowboy....I so related to it....I used to go to bars, singles places, anywhere to find love, and it evaded me...I didn't love me so I didn't attract love fro...	neshema2	3	389	Aug 6, 2013 by Bettina
	how to know how I feel now that husband is in recovery (Preview) PREFACE: I left My AH because his drinking (and sporadic drug use, and poor decisions) had escalated to the point where he was putting me in danger as far at the people who were in my home...and I was putting my self in danger because I was at an emotional breaking point from the stress of his behavior as...	sadsusie	10	456	Aug 6, 2013 by neshema2
	Questioning my gut (Preview) Hello all, Sorry it's been a very long time sice I visited you. This disease is tricky, just when you think you are doing good...SMACK, HP brings you back to some more testing. My AH just can't have enough courage to let his old friend vodka leave his side. So, I am letting him live his tortured life and...	1976love	5	786	Aug 6, 2013 by Bettina
	CHANGE (Preview) "When the pain of where you are, is greater than the fear of where you will be, you will move" I have read this before I think on this board and I do believe it gets down to the some real roots of life, I don't take credit for it, but I do think it is worth repeating and thinking about, especially wh...	oldergal	7	336	Aug 6, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Are They Really Bi-Polar? (Preview) Or are they just drinking and can't control their emotions? When they sober-up doesn't that change a lot of times? And are people really depressed or is that an over used word? What do you think? oldergal	oldergal	11	453	Aug 6, 2013 by myjade84
	A J o k e...not real...A Joke (Preview) This gal gets a sad phone call at work and after a time of crying goes into her bosses office and asks, "Can I have a grief day off next Wednesday"? Her boss replies, "Of course you can...is there something we can support you with". She takes a deep breath and replies, "Ever...	Jerry F	4	359	Aug 6, 2013 by Phoenix7
	Need help!! (Preview) My A/A daughter called to say she is out of food, everything. I told her I would bring my granddaughter to my house, she doesn't want to come. She said she will have food on the 7th of the month. She said she felt like she was having a neverous breakdown, I told her I would pick up B. and call her dad to come p...	Highlyfavored	7	355	Aug 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	taking life seriously... (Preview) Whether it is good or bad, I am taking life very seriously. I can't go anywhere or do anything w/o feeling the pain of my mom's illness. I am walking around confused & I am actually getting enough sleep although I wake up w/ stress. I can't go on like this & I hope to find serenity on this forum. I nee...	Hoot Nanny	3	228	Aug 5, 2013 by slogan_jim
	For all of us CODA's (Preview) I had no idea that it was my sovereign right to be happy....Only to please others...Meet their needs at the total denial of my own needs..My own happiness...Now through program, I have the right to be happy...To pursue happiness...To do what ever I need to do w/out harming another creature to find my h...	neshema2	5	231	Aug 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Not sure how to respond here (Preview) So my AH displayed his drinking problem infront of my mom last week (not going to work for 3 days and just drinking home and watching tv, driving to get more booze, etc, though not disturbing anybody, bringing food for lunch for all a few times, not putting tv loud, etc). My mom asked me a lot of questions a...	Venera	13	448	Aug 5, 2013 by abbyal
	Good Morning Everyone! (Preview) It's Sunday morning. The sun is peeking through the trees that surround my home, My dogs have all been outside and done their thing. Now I sit here with a cup of coffee and I kinda giggle at myself. Last night I got a call from my son. He, his girlfriend, another young lady friend of hers, and her mother...	John	14	393	Aug 5, 2013 by PP
	understanding powerlessness and helplessness (Preview) I had a hard time accepting being powerless...then I came , through program, to understood that I am powerless over OTHER people or places and things, but not helpless about can I take care of me anyway??? Sure I can.... Maybe this will help sort out the difference....	neshema2	6	879	Aug 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Why I am in Alanon (Preview) I am new in Alanon, I started out doing one meeting a week. Which in my situation was not enough, so I found another meeting to go to and now I go to 3 meetings a week and plus I get on here now so I go to one everyday. I got involved in Alanon because I have a very unmanageable life and I do not have a relationship w...	Tiff5484	6	761	Aug 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Let's talk about acceptance (Preview) Acceptance is really where I struggle. I tend to look at my AH and remember who he was, who we were, and I want that back as I'm sure he does, too. Yet, he's changed, he's started drinking, he's gotten a DUI, he lies now about stupid stuff, he wants me to just blow off unacceptable behavior. And, I have ch...	ilovedogs	13	1816	Aug 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	My first al anon meeting (Preview) So I attended my first al anon meeting. I didn't know what to expect....the group was so wonderful and warm. One of the speakers read out her story (1 year member) and from her first line to the last it could have been my story. They encouraged me to keep coming back which I will. I felt empowered by the...	magazine	9	318	Aug 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Irony .. and the God of my understandings wicked sense of humor .. (Preview) Ok .. sooo .. I'm dealing with court stuff and for the LIFE of me couldn't figure out why the STBAX's arrest wasn't listed on the county website .. it's amazing what is listed that is considered public record. Our little town lists more than most so it's informative. Yes, this is going to sound so unhea...	Pushka	4	337	Aug 5, 2013 by Pushka
	Some stress relieved .. (Preview) The kids and I had a great day. I worked around the house a LOT because it's a mess .. that's ok .. it didn't get here over night and it's going to take another full day of working to get it looking better. The house is a complete reflection of my brain at the moment .. kind of not pretty. I was even able to get...	Pushka	5	380	Aug 5, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Just sayin.............. (Preview)	neshema2	2	213	Aug 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	No AA Meeting tonight (Preview) I was going to go to a AA open meeting tonight but I was asked to go to a BBQ going away party so I said yes. I thought I just needed to get out and be with people that are smiling and having some fun. Had a nice time and I'm tired now and ready to relax and just watch some TV. Good night all......see you tomorro...	Cathyinaz	5	273	Aug 5, 2013 by neshema2
	In order to keep it... (Preview) You must give it away. That lesson remains a large part of my serenity and my sobriety. This was a "higher education" sponsor - sponsee work event from thought to action and of course I attended all classes for fear of the consequences of if I didn't. Aloha MIP Family. My wife and I jus...	Jerry F	5	312	Aug 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Daily Renewal (Preview) Daily renewal is a statement about how you wish your day, and ultimately your life, to unfold. It is your soul speaking to your heart, your heart translating to your mind, and your mind giving your body directions. It is ultimately an expression of self-love! -Bob Greene	oldergal	4	237	Aug 4, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Struggling to cope, don't know what to do (Preview) I'm really struggling to cope with my mums drinking. She keeps letting me down, dismissing me, ignoring me when i try to tell her i'm upset and I feel angry about it so much, and another part of me feels so much emotion and love. She's been drinking now for over 30 years, but used to eat healthy and now she st...	qwerty49	14	404	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	good old step THREE...my scariest step (Preview) I was on step 4, but in the light of latest events, I am BACK on the hardest step for me...STEP 3 on STEP 3..............I "made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power AS I UNDERSTAND IT...." I once told a newbie, this was my rendition of STEP 3......imagine ly...	neshema2	6	669	Aug 4, 2013 by likemyheart
	Family Week at My Son's Rehab was Spiritual and absolutely draining but in a good way (Preview) Hi Everyone, Yesterday my son graduated rehab all of his peers in the house (small facility-25addicts) each spoke to my son. First the counselors, all recovered addicts or alcoholics, who decided to make saving those like themselves a life goal. My son upon release was there 30 days. So no other male...	FAITH1988	2	364	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Going to church at my sons program ranch.. (Preview) I just want to say that I will be praying for all of us that are and have lived in chaos caused by the ones that we love due to there choices of addictions.. We all need serenity, and our higher power to touch us so we know we will be ok. God bless you all and many prayers will be said in a very spiritual place that...	Gaby	1	185	Aug 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Some things should not been said (Preview) I been to every meeting this week. I'm working hard . My Sponser can't guide me anymore things have taken place on her side and can't work with me. I'm now on my own. My 9 month ah husband moved back I'm the house . He is better he wants to help me get better soon. Before he told me he was moving back in he stated h...	Ms co-dependent	12	415	Aug 4, 2013 by Tiff5484
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.