The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had no idea that it was my sovereign right to be happy....Only to please others...Meet their needs at the total denial of my own needs..My own happiness...Now through program, I have the right to be happy...To pursue happiness...To do what ever I need to do w/out harming another creature to find my happiness and my joy, so I can share it with safe others..The happier I am, the more I feel generous.....I Saw this post and thought how sooo true this is...Putting myself first , I no longer label as selfish, but necessary so that I am able and willing to SHARE that with safe others.....
-- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 5th of August 2013 12:08:15 PM
Before alanon I always believed that I could only be happy if someone MADE me happy They could do that by doing exactly what I wanted, loved me perfectly, supported my every need and desire. Needless to say this did not happen and I was filled with anger, resentment and self pity. I did not know any way to be happy Entering alanon , working the Steps. finding my voice, my spirit, I learned how to be happy. It is an inside job and can be easily achieved one day at a time, when I let go of my anger and resentments and work at taking care of myself
Who would have guessed.
Hey Betty, after the fallout of early life, that I had described, I wanted my rescuer, my saviour, someone to come and rescue me from all my pain, loss....To worship me and nurture me as I was so deprived of that growing up.....I so relate to your post....those following decades when I ran away, I looked for my "prince in shining armour" my "rescuer" my "hero" and I always got emotionally unavailable men or people in general, even some friends...I , too, after having to be so servicing to others, then not finding my own rescue, I became bitter, resentful, angry, feeling ripped off, feeling like victim.....
Now in program, I see that I have to provide for me, provide for my happiness.....I have to rely on me....anyone who gives me love, support , hugs, to me is gravy.......the slogan "let it begin with me" comes to mind....it begins and ends w/me......and I , too am working hard to let go the anger and resentment I feel towards a certain unmentionable person......I am working at taking care of me...................I so relate to your post....being forced to please others, to meet their unreasonable needs, then being so empty, I looked for love in all the wrong places AFTER that, and i got even more resentment and bitterness accrued......what a job it has been , scraping that away....I am close but still have some scraping to do....
-- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 5th of August 2013 01:45:01 PM
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Before alanon I always believed that I could only be happy if someone MADE me happy They could do that by doing exactly what I wanted, loved me perfectly, supported my every need and desire. Needless to say this did not happen and I was filled with anger, resentment and self pity. I did not know any way to be happy Entering alanon , working the Steps. finding my voice, my spirit, I learned how to be happy. It is an inside job and can be easily achieved one day at a time, when I let go of my anger and resentments and work at taking care of myself
