Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maryanne · maryanne

Just wanted to ask what is the first step in dealing with folks in our lives that keep putting us down. I have a problem of not answering back when someone is nasty to me. I don't like to confront any one on bad behavior. How do we know when is the time to be silent and when is the time to speak up. I don't like...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, it won't fix everything however it's a good start thank you God! I have been out of work since November and it has been scary is putting it mildly. I was validated in ways I wasn't expecting. I knew that there were some things brewing at the temp job I had worked .. I received a call last month about...

anm722 · anm722

I absolutely HATE my husband for what he is putting me through. He just called from rehab because I needed to ask him a quick question and he sounds so normal and care free, while I'm out here in the real world feeling lost hopeless confused and angry. I hate this.

Lyne · Lyne

Yes, it's time to make some confessions. It is only now I can see the forest from the trees! Going back a few years, I need to share about some of the things I did in my futile attempt to cope with my A. I bought alcohol test strips that work from saliva. I snuck and looked at A's schedule to see when it look...

a new member.... · maryanne

I am so glad I found this place. I don't drive, and there are no meetings near when I live. I am so sad most of the time. I hurt. What I have been reading, has helped me a lot. Thanks for listening.

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been thinking about my progress and how ive been reacting most of the time lately and I think I have come up with a couple of answers, maybe. I think im too scared to fully live what im learning in alanon. when I connect with my higher power, let go of my own will and trust in the wisdom I have a good day. The...

Miamamamia · Miamamamia

How do I know ? Is my husband affected by the disease ? What are the signs ? Is it a dependency or is it alcoholic ? How much more can one take is it okay to walk away ? How can I make him see how can I help him change his ways ? He's not physically abusive, mentally i take my fair share daily, sometimes worst but nev...

mongowal · mongowal

AH has finally decided - He wants a divorce. He says his feelings of love for me are coming back but they will never be the same as the day he married me. Tried numerous times to blame mr for the the demise of our relationship (all of which are either completely irrational or completely false). For th...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Man. After coming here and sharing and making progress and everything I have tried to do, I feel like I am right back where I started. I have so much anger, and it reared its head today. I yelled at my husband. Twice. Full-on, top volume, roaring yell. I just got so sick of it. Everything is so awful, nothi...

anm722 · anm722

Hello all. I am a 27 year old female married with 3 kids. My husband and I have been together 11 years married 7. In the past 7 years my husband has been in and out of prison for different things. In the past 3 years I have found out that my husband had been doing heroin while we were seperated. After finding t...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It disgusts me when people come off so selfish and unable to see beyond their own noses. And well I first found in in my addict Mother, everything too was about what she wanted, when, how and you better make it work out with all your might or be prepared! My exAH never once hit me, he got close and broke every...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

So careful to maneuver through the person that suffers from alcoholism. Even in the attempt to remain sober. I caught myself this time. I said NO! Not this time. I will not allow my recovery slide back not one single step this time! You may have the man I love still in your grips but I will not be yours toda...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My brother called me to let me know my 85 year old Dad has been hospitalized. I called my Dad who is usually concerned about me being on winter roads. I also know when he says, "Are you coming in?," he wants me there. He wants me to wait until Sunday since in his words: "It's too late now...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Car finally went to the mechanic today. Now I am no expert on cars by any means but i know a thing or 2, and I have told ABwhatever he is that the car sounds like it needs a new coil, which i had a spare one of, maybe some new ignition leads and that he could probably fix it himself for like $40. I even emailed him a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, what I am trying to say right now is that nothing really has changed lately but my outlook has changed. I am still in the grips of this disease daily I just know that I can overcome the trials & tribulations that go along w/ it. I guess I can say I am an overcomer even if it is just an affirmation. I am a l...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I heard a lady share in a meeting the other night that she had tried to "help" a friend by giving advice and the friend said she had to hang up the phone and would call right back...the lady's friend never called back. the lady went on to say she then decided she'd call the friend herself but the f...

OnMySignal · OnMySignal

As mentioned, this is my first time to post anything. I have an AW that I love very much who is sober 55 weeks now, and we are having some problems. We have been married 21 years and have had a wonderful marriage in all aspects, but the disease got to be too much and she got help a year and half ago. Here we are ov...

LWI · LWI

I have no clue if this is the right forum to just post something like this, but I really need some words of support/advice. New member as of 3 minutes ago. I am actually an alcoholic myself. This might not sound like acceptable rational to some, but the reason I am writing is that my fiance (boyfriend of 18...

John · John

When I first heard that the best way to help an alcoholic was to focus on myself, I thought Al-Anon was a heartless place where I would be forced to stop caring about my loved ones. I had decided never to return, but someone shared a thought that changed my mind. He said that although the desire to help anot...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This where I got my avatar picture we were wandering around OMGosh .. I thought the kids would kill me because we wound up in a brush of burrs .. LOL!

lenii263 · lenii263

I am 74 and still worrying about daughter who is 47 and has drank since she was 13. She has a S.O.(many relationships and 2 marriages) who supports and enables her, and has never asked for anything. It is just that I see she is dying, so thin now and looks awful. Her insides are so messed up she can't keep foo...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm so grateful for the Alanon program that has taught me some very basic lessons, .. lessons I didn't learn during my childhood because they just weren't available to me. This too shall pass .. (the AA version) like a kidney stone .. however it will pass. :) One door closes and another opens .. in the me...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I haven't heard from my mom today, however the reality is and it just dawned on me I won't "hear" from her, the entry point of surgery went through the front of her throat. She was suppose to be in the hospital for 3 days so we'll see .. I guess I figure no news is good news and knowing my mom .. lol ....

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Wow, my AH finally chose to go to rehab and now thinks he will do fine so he wants out early....lots of complaints about food, smoking, etc. etc.......I said that actions speak louder than words and that if he said he would do 30 days of inpatient , but leaves early.... than his actions show that he can't k...

Gaby · Gaby

Still getting through my tough times.. But my son is 15 days sober out of his environment. And facing jail time. I am going to as many f2f meetings and even meetings to help me understand the disease. I am just checking in to say. Hi !!

Debilyn · Debilyn

Now another tooth is going belly up, crown again. not sealed.I am a clean my teeth nut too.that is two now last week. throbbing. took med, strong stuff. Last night I fell again! second time! was trying to see that cat with binoculars, got twisted landed on me bum back and head. AND i yelled ex AH this is YOU...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I decided to upload some pictures that I have taken this of some of our adventures .. I tend to stay away from personal photos of the kids or myself, while I post those on my FB page .. that is pretty lock down on who can and can't see those. My avatar picture is one that was from a park here close to town .. it r...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Wow. Since I have stopped engaging with ABF or RSVPing to the multiple argument- invitations he sends me each day, I've had a great chance to stand back and watch my own internal reactions to the drama-factory. What triggered me, originally, to reach out for help was my first ever bout of serious pani...

bud · bud

I could please use some thoughts regarding getting myself unstuck from a situation involving my trauma therapist for treatment of PTSD. I have been receiving therapy when, in September, my health insurance changed and provided much less coverage. I told my therapist and she emphatically said n...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I'm new - finally got AH to agree to counseling as he finally heard I was done with him. So far he is saying all the right things to counselor and has even been sober a week. He thinks everything is fine now, we can't bring up the past even though he doesn't recall many of things he's done. I hope he has realiz...

mm830 · mm830

I did it, after listening to his ranting and blaming and all the nonsensical stuff and hearing how I place him on the priority list lower than a pack of sugar I just couldn't do it anymore. I told him I was done. I am a little freaked out but frankly I can't take this anymore anyway being attacked like this co...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Growing up in an alcoholic home, I received many inconsistent messages. My parents said one thing but then another happened. They acted one way in certain situations but then another way in other situations that completely con...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I need to think a little before I post this, can someone delete the thread for me as I cannot? Thanks

-- Edited by Melly1248 on Monday 20th of January 2014 08:54:31 AM

tweety23 · tweety23

Hi.. I am new to everything al anon and right now cannot go to f2f because of babysitting issues. I have been to one in the past. Ah has never attempted sobriety or would even discuss. Also he is of a cultural background where excessive drinking is a norm so to speak. There is a HUGE sign in his bathroom, i...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Afternoon Everyone I have a whole lot of anxiety right now. Not because of my son but because of my cats. They are crated for the first time to try and retrain them to use the litter box again, to quit marking and get to know each other and not fight anymore. They are howling and trashing their crat...

dotandthekangaroo · dotandthekangaroo

I hope this isn't too controversial a question, but I really need some wisdom here: I was wondering if anyone might be interested in sharing stories of how they came to perceive the God of their particular understanding? I have long been interested in spirituality, but my understanding of God has alw...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi everyone - I have been trying to lose weight this new year. I started with goals that were in five pound increments. I am finding that eating out is not easy and I have to start over a couple of days. I am not beating myself up, just one day at a time. I have also let go of a couple of friends, I am finding more p...

neshema2 · neshema2

I make no bones about how bad living with AH#1 was...He was a huge mistake...Its weird...Both of my fiances adn long term relationships ( I did not want to marry too young, wanted to put me in school and just did not want the trap my A mother was in....and I was afraid of men big time for obvious reasons) Bu...

Venera · Venera

So afraid to go to the first meeting, don't even know where. Afraid that people I know may be there, afraid to be a part of it, afraid to put my face... I don't know what needs to happened for me to attend it..

tortuga · tortuga

Since I have come to Al Anon (2012) and also very little before through therapy, I have come to realize, and still realize, my functioning, my triggers, my flaws. my defects. I have not always been aware of, some have functioned as a habit but now that I realize, i am shocked , yes, disgusted sometimes wi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today I am Grateful for: My workouts are starting to show in my body , looks and I feel better exercising is making me more mellow my high school girlfriend's health tests came out "ok" I got an old client back and I see it working out very well this time, now I have the work I need I got a good deal...

mm830 · mm830

Last night I made the mistake of answering ASO's phone call, somehow I thought it would be him calling to be nice or something...well he called to puke up all his misery on me and blameshift. I have not been reacting as I once did except the little setback a few days ago. He ended up telling me that obviousl...

Daughter · Daughter

Hi friends, I have not been an active poster in the forums but have visited often when I needed to feel a sense of community or hear words of encouragement. I'm back again, and this time unfortunately it's because alcoholism has taken my mother's life. She passed away in a horrible car accident last Mon...

el-cee · el-cee

I am a grateful member of Alanon and one of the amazing gifts I have from this fellowship is the ability to be honest with myself and to own up to the defects I have, to a certain extent anyway, Im working on it!!!. Lately, I have felt my insanity surface and I have kind of tuned into it in a weird way and I can se...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the years, growing up in an alcoholic home, I had a propensity to compare my life to others. Facebook played a big role in that. The other day I was one and saw a bunch of happy status' and pictures of vacations and couples and car...

heythere · heythere

I posted a few days ago of the drama that started when my addict son got stranded and wanted me to come "rescue" him, after doing who knows what amount of pills, losing his id (and come to find out his back pack & whatever was in it, as well as having something happen to his face that looked li...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

A light bulb went off in my head this morning. When my ABF is on an angry, drunken bender I act like a hostage. I am a little afraid while he is still awake and I try to be calm and quiet so that I do not 'disturb the beast'. I can finally relax when he passes out. Who would have thought a passed out drunk woul...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is a nice acronym: is that the right word? Pray Until Something Happens! I heard this one at a meeting. Has anyone heard this one before? Let me know what you all think! Kathleen

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

When I feel the most pity for myself, I remember that there is a great wind at that very moment carrying me miraculously across the sky.

tortuga · tortuga

i don't know how, really, but today, i had this moment of letting go. and that gave me an incredible feeling of youth, energy, inspiration and hope. I struggled a lot these last days, because I kind of felt i was forced to let go. A also has become unavailable, as so many times before. I am currently far far...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

From CAS workers who have the experience from dealing with situations such as mine to the officers I met along the way to the angry lady at the court office behind the counter who sputtered she cant give out legal advice (poor woman probably needs a vacation) to the lady who gently guided me to the crow...

heythere · heythere

Hello I have been visiting this forum on and off for the last several months. Don't really feel qualified to participate since I am not actively involved in alanon at this time. But found many of the posts relevant to my situation and found that this site seems very safe. My son is an addict and has bee...

PP · PP

Last night there was a posting that was disturbing to me. I watched the responses and I saw the powerful unfolding of the al anon program in action. One of our community was hurt by another from this community and had the courage to bring it to the board for feedback. I was struck by the love and wisdom...

John · John

Letting Go (poem) To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which mea...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

OK, so I'm feeling alright in myself. I've turned a lot of corners lately. ABF (sorry, this is largely about his perplexing behaviour and how I relate to him) has been shocking; mean angry tantrums, name calling and blame, rages...over the top drinking...and then later it's all smiles and "I lo...

mongowal · mongowal

AH and I have been separated for 4 months now. I have been asking AH to make a decision to try to save marriage by going to counseling himself (he has been telling kids and myself that he need to see someone for depression and anxiety) and then him and I go to marriage counseling to resolve our issues (ther...

Jill · Jill

Five years ago a member of my family died from this disease. I asked for prayers here. People responded. Even though that was a long time ago, I still am comforted by the power of knowing people prayed for me. So grateful!

Lyne · Lyne

Last night at my F2F meeting, we had two newcomers. They looked scared and in pain and had not a clue what our meeting was going to be like. I saw myself so vividly. My first F2F meeting was at the end of June and I was so scared to be in the room with strangers. I listened to all the shares and when it was my t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

My MIP family: I felt those virtual hugs this morning before leaving for the courthouse; one of my very best friends from my childhood was right there with me (I told her this is the follow up to being my bridesmaid in 1991--haha), and it is surreal, but it's done and I am at least for now, ok! It was a littl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What to do? I am sooooooooo powerless these days! My cuz won't call to give me the latest news & my AH is driving me nuts! My husband is bound & determined to make me crazy! He is constantly(still) having me repeat things I say 2 or 3 times. OLD NEWS! & he curses like a sailor. This is a problem be...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A co-dependent question?????? (Preview) Just wanted to ask what is the first step in dealing with folks in our lives that keep putting us down. I have a problem of not answering back when someone is nasty to me. I don't like to confront any one on bad behavior. How do we know when is the time to be silent and when is the time to speak up. I don't like...	maryanne	18	601	Jan 24, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	Turn of events .. woot woot :) (Preview) Well, it won't fix everything however it's a good start thank you God! I have been out of work since November and it has been scary is putting it mildly. I was validated in ways I wasn't expecting. I knew that there were some things brewing at the temp job I had worked .. I received a call last month about...	SerenityRUS	15	371	Jan 23, 2014 by Green Eyes
	So angry (Preview) I absolutely HATE my husband for what he is putting me through. He just called from rehab because I needed to ask him a quick question and he sounds so normal and care free, while I'm out here in the real world feeling lost hopeless confused and angry. I hate this.	anm722	23	402	Jan 23, 2014 by cwya
	past embarrassing behaviors (Preview) Yes, it's time to make some confessions. It is only now I can see the forest from the trees! Going back a few years, I need to share about some of the things I did in my futile attempt to cope with my A. I bought alcohol test strips that work from saliva. I snuck and looked at A's schedule to see when it look...	Lyne	8	432	Jan 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	a new member.... (Preview) I am so glad I found this place. I don't drive, and there are no meetings near when I live. I am so sad most of the time. I hurt. What I have been reading, has helped me a lot. Thanks for listening.	maryanne	6	341	Jan 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Trust issues (Preview) Ive been thinking about my progress and how ive been reacting most of the time lately and I think I have come up with a couple of answers, maybe. I think im too scared to fully live what im learning in alanon. when I connect with my higher power, let go of my own will and trust in the wisdom I have a good day. The...	el-cee	20	609	Jan 23, 2014 by ryanhearted
	how do you know Is Al-anon for me (Preview) How do I know ? Is my husband affected by the disease ? What are the signs ? Is it a dependency or is it alcoholic ? How much more can one take is it okay to walk away ? How can I make him see how can I help him change his ways ? He's not physically abusive, mentally i take my fair share daily, sometimes worst but nev...	Miamamamia	13	750	Jan 23, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Divorce (Preview) AH has finally decided - He wants a divorce. He says his feelings of love for me are coming back but they will never be the same as the day he married me. Tried numerous times to blame mr for the the demise of our relationship (all of which are either completely irrational or completely false). For th...	mongowal	7	516	Jan 22, 2014 by Beatrice
	Back to square one (Preview) Man. After coming here and sharing and making progress and everything I have tried to do, I feel like I am right back where I started. I have so much anger, and it reared its head today. I yelled at my husband. Twice. Full-on, top volume, roaring yell. I just got so sick of it. Everything is so awful, nothi...	SpiderArcana	10	486	Jan 22, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	New to all of this and need major help/advice (Preview) Hello all. I am a 27 year old female married with 3 kids. My husband and I have been together 11 years married 7. In the past 7 years my husband has been in and out of prison for different things. In the past 3 years I have found out that my husband had been doing heroin while we were seperated. After finding t...	anm722	24	564	Jan 22, 2014 by anm722
	Why am I attracted to big selfish egos? (Preview) It disgusts me when people come off so selfish and unable to see beyond their own noses. And well I first found in in my addict Mother, everything too was about what she wanted, when, how and you better make it work out with all your might or be prepared! My exAH never once hit me, he got close and broke every...	Breakingfree	10	671	Jan 22, 2014 by Melly1248
	Saying NO to the disease. (Preview) So careful to maneuver through the person that suffers from alcoholism. Even in the attempt to remain sober. I caught myself this time. I said NO! Not this time. I will not allow my recovery slide back not one single step this time! You may have the man I love still in your grips but I will not be yours toda...	Mari1978	6	697	Jan 22, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My Dad (Preview) My brother called me to let me know my 85 year old Dad has been hospitalized. I called my Dad who is usually concerned about me being on winter roads. I also know when he says, "Are you coming in?," he wants me there. He wants me to wait until Sunday since in his words: "It's too late now...	grateful2be	24	373	Jan 21, 2014 by mercedes1959
	I didn't say it!!! (Preview) Car finally went to the mechanic today. Now I am no expert on cars by any means but i know a thing or 2, and I have told ABwhatever he is that the car sounds like it needs a new coil, which i had a spare one of, maybe some new ignition leads and that he could probably fix it himself for like $40. I even emailed him a...	Melly1248	14	700	Jan 21, 2014 by bud
	things are the same but different.. (Preview) So, what I am trying to say right now is that nothing really has changed lately but my outlook has changed. I am still in the grips of this disease daily I just know that I can overcome the trials & tribulations that go along w/ it. I guess I can say I am an overcomer even if it is just an affirmation. I am a l...	Hoot Nanny	3	309	Jan 21, 2014 by bud
	Leaving Well Enough Alone (Preview) I heard a lady share in a meeting the other night that she had tried to "help" a friend by giving advice and the friend said she had to hang up the phone and would call right back...the lady's friend never called back. the lady went on to say she then decided she'd call the friend herself but the f...	WorkingThroughIt	11	625	Jan 21, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	First Timer, Needs Some Veteran Advice (Preview) As mentioned, this is my first time to post anything. I have an AW that I love very much who is sober 55 weeks now, and we are having some problems. We have been married 21 years and have had a wonderful marriage in all aspects, but the disease got to be too much and she got help a year and half ago. Here we are ov...	OnMySignal	9	592	Jan 21, 2014 by OnMySignal
	Is this the right forum... (Preview) I have no clue if this is the right forum to just post something like this, but I really need some words of support/advice. New member as of 3 minutes ago. I am actually an alcoholic myself. This might not sound like acceptable rational to some, but the reason I am writing is that my fiance (boyfriend of 18...	LWI	6	375	Jan 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change (Yesterdays Reading) (Preview) When I first heard that the best way to help an alcoholic was to focus on myself, I thought Al-Anon was a heartless place where I would be forced to stop caring about my loved ones. I had decided never to return, but someone shared a thought that changed my mind. He said that although the desire to help anot...	John	9	1711	Jan 21, 2014 by DavidG
	Fall Pictures Part 2 (Preview) This where I got my avatar picture we were wandering around OMGosh .. I thought the kids would kill me because we wound up in a brush of burrs .. LOL!	SerenityRUS	0	187	Jan 20, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	How can one stop worrying? (Preview) I am 74 and still worrying about daughter who is 47 and has drank since she was 13. She has a S.O.(many relationships and 2 marriages) who supports and enables her, and has never asked for anything. It is just that I see she is dying, so thin now and looks awful. Her insides are so messed up she can't keep foo...	lenii263	3	404	Jan 20, 2014 by Katytexasmom
	Moving Forward . . (Preview) I'm so grateful for the Alanon program that has taught me some very basic lessons, .. lessons I didn't learn during my childhood because they just weren't available to me. This too shall pass .. (the AA version) like a kidney stone .. however it will pass. :) One door closes and another opens .. in the me...	SerenityRUS	6	425	Jan 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Update and such :) (Preview) I haven't heard from my mom today, however the reality is and it just dawned on me I won't "hear" from her, the entry point of surgery went through the front of her throat. She was suppose to be in the hospital for 3 days so we'll see .. I guess I figure no news is good news and knowing my mom .. lol ....	SerenityRUS	8	388	Jan 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	He wants out of rehab! (Preview) Wow, my AH finally chose to go to rehab and now thinks he will do fine so he wants out early....lots of complaints about food, smoking, etc. etc.......I said that actions speak louder than words and that if he said he would do 30 days of inpatient , but leaves early.... than his actions show that he can't k...	jillybean1	10	641	Jan 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Hi.. (Preview) Still getting through my tough times.. But my son is 15 days sober out of his environment. And facing jail time. I am going to as many f2f meetings and even meetings to help me understand the disease. I am just checking in to say. Hi !!	Gaby	14	562	Jan 20, 2014 by Jen61
	did anyone see the truck that ran over me? (Preview) Now another tooth is going belly up, crown again. not sealed.I am a clean my teeth nut too.that is two now last week. throbbing. took med, strong stuff. Last night I fell again! second time! was trying to see that cat with binoculars, got twisted landed on me bum back and head. AND i yelled ex AH this is YOU...	Debilyn	7	762	Jan 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Fall Pictures 2013 (Preview) I decided to upload some pictures that I have taken this of some of our adventures .. I tend to stay away from personal photos of the kids or myself, while I post those on my FB page .. that is pretty lock down on who can and can't see those. My avatar picture is one that was from a park here close to town .. it r...	SerenityRUS	3	194	Jan 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Over-reacting. (Preview) Wow. Since I have stopped engaging with ABF or RSVPing to the multiple argument- invitations he sends me each day, I've had a great chance to stand back and watch my own internal reactions to the drama-factory. What triggered me, originally, to reach out for help was my first ever bout of serious pani...	Melly1248	21	600	Jan 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	help needed- problem with trauma therapist (Preview) I could please use some thoughts regarding getting myself unstuck from a situation involving my trauma therapist for treatment of PTSD. I have been receiving therapy when, in September, my health insurance changed and provided much less coverage. I told my therapist and she emphatically said n...	bud	23	562	Jan 20, 2014 by bud
	All is forgotten? (Preview) I'm new - finally got AH to agree to counseling as he finally heard I was done with him. So far he is saying all the right things to counselor and has even been sober a week. He thinks everything is fine now, we can't bring up the past even though he doesn't recall many of things he's done. I hope he has realiz...	Kerrymom	7	373	Jan 20, 2014 by cwya
	I told him I am done (Preview) I did it, after listening to his ranting and blaming and all the nonsensical stuff and hearing how I place him on the priority list lower than a pack of sugar I just couldn't do it anymore. I told him I was done. I am a little freaked out but frankly I can't take this anymore anyway being attacked like this co...	mm830	26	813	Jan 20, 2014 by yanksfan51
	That feeling that something just isn't adding up.... (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Growing up in an alcoholic home, I received many inconsistent messages. My parents said one thing but then another happened. They acted one way in certain situations but then another way in other situations that completely con...	slogan_jim	12	516	Jan 20, 2014 by abbyal
	I'll take this as a nudge? (Preview) I need to think a little before I post this, can someone delete the thread for me as I cannot? Thanks -- Edited by Melly1248 on Monday 20th of January 2014 08:54:31 AM	Melly1248	4	352	Jan 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Why am I more scared of this. (Preview) Hi.. I am new to everything al anon and right now cannot go to f2f because of babysitting issues. I have been to one in the past. Ah has never attempted sobriety or would even discuss. Also he is of a cultural background where excessive drinking is a norm so to speak. There is a HUGE sign in his bathroom, i...	tweety23	14	580	Jan 20, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Anxiety (Preview) Good Afternoon Everyone I have a whole lot of anxiety right now. Not because of my son but because of my cats. They are crated for the first time to try and retrain them to use the litter box again, to quit marking and get to know each other and not fight anymore. They are howling and trashing their crat...	Cathyinaz	32	1479	Jan 20, 2014 by Melly1248
	Help: God of my understanding? (Preview) I hope this isn't too controversial a question, but I really need some wisdom here: I was wondering if anyone might be interested in sharing stories of how they came to perceive the God of their particular understanding? I have long been interested in spirituality, but my understanding of God has alw...	dotandthekangaroo	13	622	Jan 19, 2014 by likemyheart
	Doing good things for me in the New Year, please share what you are doing for u (Preview) Hi everyone - I have been trying to lose weight this new year. I started with goals that were in five pound increments. I am finding that eating out is not easy and I have to start over a couple of days. I am not beating myself up, just one day at a time. I have also let go of a couple of friends, I am finding more p...	mercedes1959	11	431	Jan 19, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I guess even HE was a blessing to me (Preview) I make no bones about how bad living with AH#1 was...He was a huge mistake...Its weird...Both of my fiances adn long term relationships ( I did not want to marry too young, wanted to put me in school and just did not want the trap my A mother was in....and I was afraid of men big time for obvious reasons) Bu...	neshema2	12	432	Jan 19, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Afraid to go to the F2F meeting for the first time (Preview) So afraid to go to the first meeting, don't even know where. Afraid that people I know may be there, afraid to be a part of it, afraid to put my face... I don't know what needs to happened for me to attend it..	Venera	19	464	Jan 19, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	discovery and acceptance of my character flaws... (Preview) Since I have come to Al Anon (2012) and also very little before through therapy, I have come to realize, and still realize, my functioning, my triggers, my flaws. my defects. I have not always been aware of, some have functioned as a habit but now that I realize, i am shocked , yes, disgusted sometimes wi...	tortuga	7	1929	Jan 19, 2014 by tortuga
	What am I grateful for???? (Preview) Today I am Grateful for: My workouts are starting to show in my body , looks and I feel better exercising is making me more mellow my high school girlfriend's health tests came out "ok" I got an old client back and I see it working out very well this time, now I have the work I need I got a good deal...	neshema2	11	375	Jan 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Finding a little humor in the put downs (Preview) Last night I made the mistake of answering ASO's phone call, somehow I thought it would be him calling to be nice or something...well he called to puke up all his misery on me and blameshift. I have not been reacting as I once did except the little setback a few days ago. He ended up telling me that obviousl...	mm830	5	352	Jan 18, 2014 by Jerry F
	My AM just lost her life to this horrible disease - words of encouragement needed (Preview) Hi friends, I have not been an active poster in the forums but have visited often when I needed to feel a sense of community or hear words of encouragement. I'm back again, and this time unfortunately it's because alcoholism has taken my mother's life. She passed away in a horrible car accident last Mon...	Daughter	23	600	Jan 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm glad I know I'm insane. (Preview) I am a grateful member of Alanon and one of the amazing gifts I have from this fellowship is the ability to be honest with myself and to own up to the defects I have, to a certain extent anyway, Im working on it!!!. Lately, I have felt my insanity surface and I have kind of tuned into it in a weird way and I can se...	el-cee	22	511	Jan 18, 2014 by beth1234
	No more Facebook experiment. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the years, growing up in an alcoholic home, I had a propensity to compare my life to others. Facebook played a big role in that. The other day I was one and saw a bunch of happy status' and pictures of vacations and couples and car...	slogan_jim	17	530	Jan 18, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	From the drama came something new! (Preview) I posted a few days ago of the drama that started when my addict son got stranded and wanted me to come "rescue" him, after doing who knows what amount of pills, losing his id (and come to find out his back pack & whatever was in it, as well as having something happen to his face that looked li...	heythere	11	519	Jan 18, 2014 by MorningGlory
	I behave like a hostage in my own home (Preview) A light bulb went off in my head this morning. When my ABF is on an angry, drunken bender I act like a hostage. I am a little afraid while he is still awake and I try to be calm and quiet so that I do not 'disturb the beast'. I can finally relax when he passes out. Who would have thought a passed out drunk woul...	sad_dog_mommy	15	701	Jan 18, 2014 by In The Forest
	PUSH (Preview) This is a nice acronym: is that the right word? Pray Until Something Happens! I heard this one at a meeting. Has anyone heard this one before? Let me know what you all think! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	5	199	Jan 18, 2014 by John
	When I feel the most pity (Preview) When I feel the most pity for myself, I remember that there is a great wind at that very moment carrying me miraculously across the sky.	TryingHard2013	5	288	Jan 18, 2014 by ryanhearted
	i dare to say, i am a little happy today! (Preview) i don't know how, really, but today, i had this moment of letting go. and that gave me an incredible feeling of youth, energy, inspiration and hope. I struggled a lot these last days, because I kind of felt i was forced to let go. A also has become unavailable, as so many times before. I am currently far far...	tortuga	7	413	Jan 18, 2014 by tortuga
	Seeing the world with a different set of eyes (Preview) From CAS workers who have the experience from dealing with situations such as mine to the officers I met along the way to the angry lady at the court office behind the counter who sputtered she cant give out legal advice (poor woman probably needs a vacation) to the lady who gently guided me to the crow...	Mari1978	14	396	Jan 18, 2014 by milkwood
	What does "letting go" mean? (Preview) Hello I have been visiting this forum on and off for the last several months. Don't really feel qualified to participate since I am not actively involved in alanon at this time. But found many of the posts relevant to my situation and found that this site seems very safe. My son is an addict and has bee...	heythere	18	2225	Jan 18, 2014 by John
	An option for handling sensitive issues that arise on the forum? (Preview) Last night there was a posting that was disturbing to me. I watched the responses and I saw the powerful unfolding of the al anon program in action. One of our community was hurt by another from this community and had the courage to bring it to the board for feedback. I was struck by the love and wisdom...	PP	34	985	Jan 17, 2014 by canadianguy
	To Let Go (Poem) (Preview) Letting Go (poem) To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which mea...	John	14	7311	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	This must have come up a few million times before... (Preview) OK, so I'm feeling alright in myself. I've turned a lot of corners lately. ABF (sorry, this is largely about his perplexing behaviour and how I relate to him) has been shocking; mean angry tantrums, name calling and blame, rages...over the top drinking...and then later it's all smiles and "I lo...	Melly1248	33	641	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	Crazy Thinking (Preview) AH and I have been separated for 4 months now. I have been asking AH to make a decision to try to save marriage by going to counseling himself (he has been telling kids and myself that he need to see someone for depression and anxiety) and then him and I go to marriage counseling to resolve our issues (ther...	mongowal	8	275	Jan 17, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Prayers from MIP (Preview) Five years ago a member of my family died from this disease. I asked for prayers here. People responded. Even though that was a long time ago, I still am comforted by the power of knowing people prayed for me. So grateful!	Jill	6	264	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Seeing myself (Preview) Last night at my F2F meeting, we had two newcomers. They looked scared and in pain and had not a clue what our meeting was going to be like. I saw myself so vividly. My first F2F meeting was at the end of June and I was so scared to be in the room with strangers. I listened to all the shares and when it was my t...	Lyne	5	310	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	Thank you all and update (Preview) My MIP family: I felt those virtual hugs this morning before leaving for the courthouse; one of my very best friends from my childhood was right there with me (I told her this is the follow up to being my bridesmaid in 1991--haha), and it is surreal, but it's done and I am at least for now, ok! It was a littl...	yanksfan51	10	412	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	she's not calling & he is driving me crazy? (Preview) What to do? I am sooooooooo powerless these days! My cuz won't call to give me the latest news & my AH is driving me nuts! My husband is bound & determined to make me crazy! He is constantly(still) having me repeat things I say 2 or 3 times. OLD NEWS! & he curses like a sailor. This is a problem be...	Hoot Nanny	2	343	Jan 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.