He wants out of rehab! - Al-Anon Family Group

jillybean1 · Senior Member

He wants out of rehab!

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Jill, the disease is strong. I see this constantly at work (a rehab). They honestly do think they are good to go as soon as detox is over. Craziest is they are technically sober at this point but still not rational. I feel for you. I really do.

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Jill,

I echo what Pink has shared .. I hope you are taking care of you and going to meetings and reading Alanon lit I think there are some links to things as the Merry-Go-Round Called Denial is a really huge one. That is pretty much a pamphlet it is packed with information that is so relevant .. if you can't get to a meeting there are pod casts you can listen to and it makes a huge difference to hear other verbally tell their story. It is hope and it is resolve. The book I highly recommend and can be purchased for 5$ and change I believe off of Amazon is How Al-Anon Works .. it's a paperback and it's the nuts and bolts of how the program works.

He's going to drink or not drink .. you deserve to have peace of mind regardless of choosing to stay or go .. and while I ultimately closed the relationship .. I was able to find peace in choices I never knew I had.

Big hugs to you during this stressful difficult time,

S :)

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

If he can't at least do 30 days then he's wanting to drink in my book. Also the fact he said he will go relax somewhere.....yep to tie on a big one...just saying.

I'm sorry but actions do steak louder than words.

Prayers.....

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

My exAH was similar- not for him, hard labor, then faking embracing the program, and more... maybe this was the best he could do at the time. He stated that he needed a vacation after rehab too. He had already maxed out his credit cards and then used the points to travel to Europe for a few weeks. Whatever his recovery is or is not is between him and his HP.

This is a good time to strengthen your program and take especially good care of yourself. Draw and enforce boundaries as needed.

In support.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Lots of prayers for all that you and your husband might need to ride out this storm of change and upheaval, Jilly. We've been facing life on life's terms without drugs/alcohol and we find it hard to face ourselves sometimes. I can't imagine what it is like to have to face myself without a whole lot of distractions after coming out of anesthesia. I guess I might want someone to tell me, "You can do this. I believe in you." But, that's me. Much encouragement and support of you. We want so badly for them to get better and it can be such an emotional roller coaster when it appears they want to pull the plug before they get to the end of this stretch of treatment. We don't want to go back to living with the highs and lows of the disease. Fortunately, we have each other and our program to remind us of our powerlessness and to point us to our HP to help us stay the course in our own recovery process.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers for you and your family This is a dreadful progressive disease over which we are powerless.

Please take care of yourself and remember the serenity prayer and increased meetings help

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Jilly)))) good for you that you don't take the drama so seriously and factual as others have. I like your humorous perspective...no I love it because I had to learn how to do it and all the lessons were worth it...QTIPping!! This is where learning how to allow my alcoholic/addict the dignity to realize the consequences of her choices paid bonuses on my mind, body, spirit and emotion. "Make your choices...I'm making mine" is what I heard here very recently and that is how it supposed to work.

Keep coming back...practice the humor. smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

JIlly it's his life to make his own decisions, he is an adult. will learn from the times he does not work it. we need to stay out of their way.

If we let go of other peoples inventory its freeing.

I know my 'xah is really sick. totallly handed over that anxiety rock to hp. It works! would I choose to live with his disease again? never.

They do have their own dignity, and right to make their own choices.

what are you going to do? i stepped away and loved him as long as I could using al anon skills.

hugs honey, what do you like to do?

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

This kinda happened with my AWs first rehab. She was recommended to go to sober living for a few weeks afterward, but she wanted to come home and be with her son. Was she really feeling that way? She did really miss him (12 at the time) but it could have been an excuse. It really doesn't matter. But I do know that was late September ans by Christmas she was drinking again.

She just came out of a different rehab this year. If they would have said she needed to stand on her head in the corner do another three months she would have done it.

So I am a lot more hopeful, and now I realize I need to drop the expectations that well within me.

So going to rehab doesn't necessarily mean they are ready to go completely into recovery.

Just writing today was brave. Use your tools, and you can have serenity.

And thanks for sharing today - you have helped me shine light on work I need to do on my expectations. I am grateful.

Peace
Kenny

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Glad you are taking care of you and enjoying the calm! Sending you love and support on your journey!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.