Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

New member here (Very lengthy post) · NatalieP

Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...

Truth · Truth

Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?

ardy9 · ardy9

So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what *I* want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...

cmb · cmb

Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...

Jkphotogal · Jkphotogal

I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...

Debilyn · Debilyn

this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...

LucyLynn · LucyLynn

I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...

debhud · debhud

last night i made plans to visit my AS. i accidentally fell asleep and didn't make it. i felt horrible and apologized several times. he left me a message to stay out of his life. he brought up a lot of of my past parenting mistakes. in the past i have tried making amends to him for the things i did or did not...

Beatrice · Beatrice

"Be here now. Keep your vibe high, be gentile, but honest. Expect nothing, enjoy those you love, be curious be present, laugh a lot. Love a lot. Stay open to mystery, awe and wonder. Commune with nature, have faith, trust guidance, release fear, let go....." ...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hello all. Here are my thoughts on recovery.....I had to re-read all my books yesterday after talking to AH in rehab.....he is soon to be released and they have given him aftercare treatment options. I don't know what he will choose as I left it to him when he asked me what I wanted. (Well, I did tell hi...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

so many of you have responded to me these past few weeks. i cherish all your love and insight. i digest it all , "take want i want and leave the rest" so, let me say, i hear your concerns. . all of them, i do. and yes as i awake this morning im thinking, "have i done it again, have i cried wolf&qu...

PNR817 · PNR817

Hey everyone. I'm brand new in here and I'm not sure where to begin. It's kinda crazy anyway, because I grew up with an alcoholic father and now my 2nd husband is an alcoholic. The extreme difference in the two of them is that even though my father was very functional (not at all now, he has had heart atta...

Jozie · Jozie

Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event... Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Wo...

saralee77777 · saralee77777

Hello, I am new to this board and have only been to one meeting in person. I am currently attending a woman's group at church on Wednesday's and on Sunday's I volunteer during first service, attend a class, then attend second service. I started going when my daughter starting having difficulties at ho...

chadg · chadg

This has become a normal occurance. Every morning he gets mad at for something and I honestly have no idea what I did. Yesterday, the same thing he comes home at the end of the day and says you don't care too much you never called me today to find out why I was mad. I am trying to figure out how to say to him t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I thought I'd share something. At my last meeting I brought something up on being independent and working for things vs. a sense of entitlement. I mentioned that even with all my years of experienc...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

First off I will admit I should not be checking up on the A. I have been back and forth to my house taking things out and I notice that he is drinking NyQuil. I understand I am powerless over him and alcohol...but I am dying to ask people here...would you count NyQuil as drinking alcohol??? It has alcohol in...

chadg · chadg

This is my first time posting here... Married 11 years together for 17. I have 2 amazing kids. Husband is totally unreasonable...He goes out and drinks most nights, cannot even think of the last time he didn't. Comes home drunk, either passes out on the couch or comes up to bed and usually wakes me...

mm830 · mm830

I haven't posted for awhile, life has thrown me some curve balls and I forgot about step one, powerlessness. My mentally ill son was hospitalized for threatening suicide and more due to not taking his meds, and A was unbelievably supportive and non judgemental. Very strange, unexpected, and I feel g...

goldenchild1 · goldenchild1

Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...

Starting Again · Starting Again

I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you

PP · PP

Choose wisely who you give your energy to. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

NanaOfSix · NanaOfSix

I am a Mother of 4, Grandmother of 6. I have a 36 yr. old non functioning alcoholic daughter. She has struggled with addictions since the age of 15, starting with crack-cocaine and alcohol, narcotics, methadone and now straight alcohol. She had 3 children, ages now 18, and 9 yr. old twin girls ( I have f...

Beatrice · Beatrice

" There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less then the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela

southernlass · southernlass

Hi, I have only been with the program for just over a week but I am already wondering when is the right time to choose a sponsor??? I have only attended 2 face to face meetings but already feel the benefit of the program. Is it to early to be thinking about a sponsor?? I look forward to hearing from anyone wi...

kdhmftexfiance · kdhmftexfiance

I have been away from Al Anon for about a year now. I attended for about year after I ended an engagement with an alcoholic, bipolar guy. It was great to get the support for awhile, but then I began to feel wrong about my sponsor, and stuck on the fourth step, and found meetings depressing the more I got t...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Thank you all for your prayers and support since my Dad entered the hospital and then the SNF in January. At 3:40 this morning, he died. I was alone in his room with him. This past Sunday, he didn't want me to leave him and go back home. I knew it was because he wanted me to be with him when he died. I had to...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Warning flags are popping up. After weeks of massive improvement, I'm afraid that he might be drinking again. Crappy mood, slight slurring of words, 'poor-me' party. Or, you know, he might just be in a crappy mood and I'm overthinking. Must not listen to the crazy-brain.

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi - It's Robin, I am at work. I found some new ways to advertise and find mystery shoppers for our company. My co worker followed through by placing an ad in a Thrifty Nickel. I heard the owner say, "Don't hold your breath". This makes me angry. I am looking at my 4th step again. One of my defects...

cmb · cmb

My ABF has been telling me on a monthly basis, "I don't now what I want, I was in a relationship like this for 14 years, I don't know if I want this". I realized what he meant was, when I complained, questioned or showed concern over his pills/cocaine/alchohol use - he leaves me! Huh...I did it a...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

My A is an ex who I was with for five years. Love of my life but depleted my soul with his drinking. We split but he called this week promising to change and talks of marriage. Anyone want to share their experiences with me from similar situations?

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well i think this has been coming for awhile and as terrifying as it is, i think i am ready to be out of this alc marriage. i made mention to ah this morning that we need to talk . he quickyl was defensive and explosive and full.of blame to me . . screaming yelling. daughter crying. i stated WE ARE MISERABLE . ....

Family member with dt's in icu · Worried72

5 days ago my alcoholic sister was admitted to the hospital by her husband, who had no knowledge of her drinking, thinking she had some type of brain tumor or low blood sugar, denial can be very powerful. I had suspected she was drinking for about a month now, not knowing exactly how bad It had gotten, I c...

samb · samb

Hiya. This is the first time I have posted. I have an alcoholic mother. Her drinking started when she emigrated to Canada from the U.K fifteen years ago. This also coincided with me (her only child) giving birth to her first grandchild. I have since had three further children. The last fifteen years ha...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have posted quite a lot over the last few days...I am certainly at a crossroads. I am considering moving out...going to see the place tomorrow, and ought to take it or I will be waiting for another to open up. My AH has been through rehab. I had left him shortly before that for the first time (only time)...

el-cee · el-cee

While living with my ex ah, I ran from the truth of our life, of my life in many things, books and studying, tv, internet, work, anything that distracted me from thinking things through, from being still and quiet and listening to my own soul. My first year in alanon, I spent my time facing it all, listeni...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi everyone Happy St Patricks Day yesterday at work (I do a form of customer service) a customer (about 30 years old) and her mother hurled insults at me. I guess they felt because they were paying me they could take out their anxiety on me. I had made a mistake that wasn't going to cost them any money and w...

tweety23 · tweety23

my AH has been white-knuckling sobriety for two months. Although I know it will not last I have to admit it has been a very blissful two months. It honestly felt like we were normal people for a while and I didn't have a ball of nerves in my stomach all the time. However i think the honeymoon period is over an...

Starting Again · Starting Again

I have been lurking on this board for several years and had to finally delurk. I chose the name Starting Again because I feel like I am always starting over at step one. My husband is an alcoholic. That is hard for me to write. I found out 8 years ago when he told me. He was very good at hiding it. Over th...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

MY AH HAS VERY SINGLE TYPE OF LIE AND EXCUSE TO GET A DRINK. I COME HOME AND ALL HE WANTS IS MONEY FOR WHAT EVER HE MAKES A LIE FOR AND HE PROMISES ME TO COME HOME SO WE CAN HAVE OUR DATE NIGHT FRIDAY. SO HERE I AM HOME ALONE AND I DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO IT. I FEEL THAT IT TAKING ME DOWN WITH HIS DISEASE. BUT I NEED TO GO BAC...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New member here (Very lengthy post) (Preview) Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...	NatalieP	6	497	Mar 23, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Things winding down and not .. (Preview) It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...	SerenityRUS	6	431	Mar 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Emotional Abuse ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?	Truth	92	1979	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	Supporting a Significant Other (Preview) So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...	ardy9	3	569	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	I feel like I can take my life back (Preview) I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what I want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...	sadsusie	7	520	Mar 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Oops I did it again! (Preview) Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...	cmb	3	385	Mar 23, 2014 by hopes314
	my mom is using me again... (Preview) I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...	Hoot Nanny	2	340	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	New Here and Need Help (Preview) I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...	Jkphotogal	14	457	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	Recovery vs Working For God (Preview) Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...	WorkingThroughIt	11	544	Mar 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	quote (Preview) Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	153	Mar 22, 2014 by el-cee
	He went away OK (Preview) I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...	Cathyinaz	14	578	Mar 22, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	4	341	Mar 22, 2014 by Jerry F
	Trying to regain trust .... (Preview) I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...	NavySealWife	5	477	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Fear of "Being Duped" - your experience please (Preview) I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...	WorkingThroughIt	7	600	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	He's Homeless (Preview) Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...	Cathyinaz	30	580	Mar 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	a reason to post (Preview) I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...	Hoot Nanny	3	228	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	My mind may be approaching serenity but my BODY is NOT (Preview) Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...	sadsusie	5	482	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	Al anon gives us a choice (Preview) I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...	Newlife girl	4	207	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	In the beginning there was honesty (Preview) Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...	Wisdom67	2	303	Mar 21, 2014 by hotrod
	Checking my motive? (Preview) At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...	Kerrymom	6	370	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Be Bold! (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...	slogan_jim	9	236	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Dealing with crazy people? Warning....contains a lot of pointless venting.... (Preview) I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...	Melly1248	18	636	Mar 21, 2014 by bud
	teeny tiny text? Help!! (Preview) Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...	Melly1248	5	255	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need some kind words... (Preview) I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...	Akavanagh	9	324	Mar 21, 2014 by tortuga
	ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well (Preview) this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...	Debilyn	4	441	Mar 21, 2014 by Truth
	Hopeless...getting worse. (Preview) I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...	LucyLynn	5	385	Mar 21, 2014 by Newlife girl
	made a mistake. AS upset. (Preview) last night i made plans to visit my AS. i accidentally fell asleep and didn't make it. i felt horrible and apologized several times. he left me a message to stay out of his life. he brought up a lot of of my past parenting mistakes. in the past i have tried making amends to him for the things i did or did not...	debhud	11	585	Mar 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Rules for healthy living (Preview) "Be here now. Keep your vibe high, be gentile, but honest. Expect nothing, enjoy those you love, be curious be present, laugh a lot. Love a lot. Stay open to mystery, awe and wonder. Commune with nature, have faith, trust guidance, release fear, let go....." ...	Beatrice	4	336	Mar 20, 2014 by bud
	recovery and moral obligation (Preview) Hello all. Here are my thoughts on recovery.....I had to re-read all my books yesterday after talking to AH in rehab.....he is soon to be released and they have given him aftercare treatment options. I don't know what he will choose as I left it to him when he asked me what I wanted. (Well, I did tell hi...	jillybean1	6	488	Mar 20, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	update "leaving" (Preview) so many of you have responded to me these past few weeks. i cherish all your love and insight. i digest it all , "take want i want and leave the rest" so, let me say, i hear your concerns. . all of them, i do. and yes as i awake this morning im thinking, "have i done it again, have i cried wolf&qu...	Theoceancalls	15	562	Mar 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	New and Lost (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm brand new in here and I'm not sure where to begin. It's kinda crazy anyway, because I grew up with an alcoholic father and now my 2nd husband is an alcoholic. The extreme difference in the two of them is that even though my father was very functional (not at all now, he has had heart atta...	PNR817	11	416	Mar 20, 2014 by sadsusie
	Grabbin "Recovery/Boot" Straps One More Time... (Preview) Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event... Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Wo...	Jozie	1	543	Mar 20, 2014 by hotrod
	First Time Posting (Preview) Hello, I am new to this board and have only been to one meeting in person. I am currently attending a woman's group at church on Wednesday's and on Sunday's I volunteer during first service, attend a class, then attend second service. I started going when my daughter starting having difficulties at ho...	saralee77777	6	383	Mar 20, 2014 by Jozie
	He's mad again (Preview) This has become a normal occurance. Every morning he gets mad at for something and I honestly have no idea what I did. Yesterday, the same thing he comes home at the end of the day and says you don't care too much you never called me today to find out why I was mad. I am trying to figure out how to say to him t...	chadg	7	451	Mar 20, 2014 by bud
	Independent vs. entitled (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I thought I'd share something. At my last meeting I brought something up on being independent and working for things vs. a sense of entitlement. I mentioned that even with all my years of experienc...	slogan_jim	3	352	Mar 20, 2014 by PP
	NyQuil (Preview) First off I will admit I should not be checking up on the A. I have been back and forth to my house taking things out and I notice that he is drinking NyQuil. I understand I am powerless over him and alcohol...but I am dying to ask people here...would you count NyQuil as drinking alcohol??? It has alcohol in...	Newlife girl	9	2562	Mar 19, 2014 by Wisdom67
	Husband and Alcohol (Preview) This is my first time posting here... Married 11 years together for 17. I have 2 amazing kids. Husband is totally unreasonable...He goes out and drinks most nights, cannot even think of the last time he didn't. Comes home drunk, either passes out on the couch or comes up to bed and usually wakes me...	chadg	12	586	Mar 19, 2014 by jillybean1
	HP is Always Right... (Preview) I haven't posted for awhile, life has thrown me some curve balls and I forgot about step one, powerlessness. My mentally ill son was hospitalized for threatening suicide and more due to not taking his meds, and A was unbelievably supportive and non judgemental. Very strange, unexpected, and I feel g...	mm830	4	200	Mar 19, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	New to site (Preview) Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...	goldenchild1	2	188	Mar 19, 2014 by mm830
	He decides to clean the house AFTER we leave!! (Preview) This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...	Newlife girl	9	456	Mar 19, 2014 by bud
	Al Anon Tools (Preview) I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you	Starting Again	6	456	Mar 19, 2014 by mm830
	Just a little something that got my attention (Preview) Choose wisely who you give your energy to. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.	PP	10	340	Mar 18, 2014 by bud
	Stress Overload - Please Help! (Preview) I am a Mother of 4, Grandmother of 6. I have a 36 yr. old non functioning alcoholic daughter. She has struggled with addictions since the age of 15, starting with crack-cocaine and alcohol, narcotics, methadone and now straight alcohol. She had 3 children, ages now 18, and 9 yr. old twin girls ( I have f...	NanaOfSix	9	470	Mar 18, 2014 by hotrod
	Thoughts (Preview) " There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less then the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela	Beatrice	5	312	Mar 18, 2014 by bud
	Right time to choose a sponsor? (Preview) Hi, I have only been with the program for just over a week but I am already wondering when is the right time to choose a sponsor??? I have only attended 2 face to face meetings but already feel the benefit of the program. Is it to early to be thinking about a sponsor?? I look forward to hearing from anyone wi...	southernlass	6	459	Mar 18, 2014 by neshema2
	Question (Preview) I have been away from Al Anon for about a year now. I attended for about year after I ended an engagement with an alcoholic, bipolar guy. It was great to get the support for awhile, but then I began to feel wrong about my sponsor, and stuck on the fourth step, and found meetings depressing the more I got t...	kdhmftexfiance	11	385	Mar 18, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	Update on Dad (Preview) Thank you all for your prayers and support since my Dad entered the hospital and then the SNF in January. At 3:40 this morning, he died. I was alone in his room with him. This past Sunday, he didn't want me to leave him and go back home. I knew it was because he wanted me to be with him when he died. I had to...	grateful2be	23	359	Mar 18, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Worried tonight (Preview) Warning flags are popping up. After weeks of massive improvement, I'm afraid that he might be drinking again. Crappy mood, slight slurring of words, 'poor-me' party. Or, you know, he might just be in a crappy mood and I'm overthinking. Must not listen to the crazy-brain.	SpiderArcana	7	215	Mar 18, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Today, I am surrounded by negativity (Preview) Hi - It's Robin, I am at work. I found some new ways to advertise and find mystery shoppers for our company. My co worker followed through by placing an ad in a Thrifty Nickel. I heard the owner say, "Don't hold your breath". This makes me angry. I am looking at my 4th step again. One of my defects...	mercedes1959	14	405	Mar 18, 2014 by mercedes1959
	I finally get it! (Preview) My ABF has been telling me on a monthly basis, "I don't now what I want, I was in a relationship like this for 14 years, I don't know if I want this". I realized what he meant was, when I complained, questioned or showed concern over his pills/cocaine/alchohol use - he leaves me! Huh...I did it a...	cmb	7	445	Mar 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Change? (Preview) My A is an ex who I was with for five years. Love of my life but depleted my soul with his drinking. We split but he called this week promising to change and talks of marriage. Anyone want to share their experiences with me from similar situations?	Forgiveness82	8	834	Mar 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	seriously thinking of leaving (Preview) well i think this has been coming for awhile and as terrifying as it is, i think i am ready to be out of this alc marriage. i made mention to ah this morning that we need to talk . he quickyl was defensive and explosive and full.of blame to me . . screaming yelling. daughter crying. i stated WE ARE MISERABLE . ....	Theoceancalls	17	413	Mar 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Family member with dt's in icu (Preview) 5 days ago my alcoholic sister was admitted to the hospital by her husband, who had no knowledge of her drinking, thinking she had some type of brain tumor or low blood sugar, denial can be very powerful. I had suspected she was drinking for about a month now, not knowing exactly how bad It had gotten, I c...	Worried72	4	416	Mar 17, 2014 by Worried72
	Guilt at walking away from alcoholic mother (Preview) Hiya. This is the first time I have posted. I have an alcoholic mother. Her drinking started when she emigrated to Canada from the U.K fifteen years ago. This also coincided with me (her only child) giving birth to her first grandchild. I have since had three further children. The last fifteen years ha...	samb	4	1224	Mar 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	I don't think I can live with him anymore, the love has been choked out (Preview) I have posted quite a lot over the last few days...I am certainly at a crossroads. I am considering moving out...going to see the place tomorrow, and ought to take it or I will be waiting for another to open up. My AH has been through rehab. I had left him shortly before that for the first time (only time)...	sadsusie	14	721	Mar 17, 2014 by neshema2
	still running (Preview) While living with my ex ah, I ran from the truth of our life, of my life in many things, books and studying, tv, internet, work, anything that distracted me from thinking things through, from being still and quiet and listening to my own soul. My first year in alanon, I spent my time facing it all, listeni...	el-cee	8	492	Mar 16, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment - something I'm seeing deeper (Preview) Hi everyone Happy St Patricks Day yesterday at work (I do a form of customer service) a customer (about 30 years old) and her mother hurled insults at me. I guess they felt because they were paying me they could take out their anxiety on me. I had made a mistake that wasn't going to cost them any money and w...	WorkingThroughIt	7	501	Mar 16, 2014 by hotrod
	What leads an A to AA? (Preview) my AH has been white-knuckling sobriety for two months. Although I know it will not last I have to admit it has been a very blissful two months. It honestly felt like we were normal people for a while and I didn't have a ball of nerves in my stomach all the time. However i think the honeymoon period is over an...	tweety23	8	712	Mar 16, 2014 by Jen
	my first post (Preview) I have been lurking on this board for several years and had to finally delurk. I chose the name Starting Again because I feel like I am always starting over at step one. My husband is an alcoholic. That is hard for me to write. I found out 8 years ago when he told me. He was very good at hiding it. Over th...	Starting Again	14	563	Mar 16, 2014 by tiredtonite
	NEEED TO VENT (Preview) MY AH HAS VERY SINGLE TYPE OF LIE AND EXCUSE TO GET A DRINK. I COME HOME AND ALL HE WANTS IS MONEY FOR WHAT EVER HE MAKES A LIE FOR AND HE PROMISES ME TO COME HOME SO WE CAN HAVE OUR DATE NIGHT FRIDAY. SO HERE I AM HOME ALONE AND I DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO IT. I FEEL THAT IT TAKING ME DOWN WITH HIS DISEASE. BUT I NEED TO GO BAC...	NavySealWife	4	379	Mar 16, 2014 by ilovedogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.