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Is my husband an alcoholic?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...
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Shif
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10
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580
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Intimacy
(Preview)
How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...
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chadg
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11
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555
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And The pendulum swings......
(Preview)
I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...
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sadsusie
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6
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513
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we can work it out!
(Preview)
We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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278
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Still trying to learn the new balance....
(Preview)
John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it.
I really like "minding my own business" lol
Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...
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Truth
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23
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624
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I have to keep reminding myself...but why??
(Preview)
I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...
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Newlife girl
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12
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486
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Just venting before I explode
(Preview)
I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...
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Kerrymom
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4
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604
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The hope of finding healthier people
(Preview)
I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...
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ClearTheFog
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14
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528
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Fear
(Preview)
Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...
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Cathyinaz
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17
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553
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My new counselor as of today said........
(Preview)
I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...
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Breakingfree
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10
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682
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A's drinking buddies won't leave
(Preview)
There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...
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Baffled
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7
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842
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Recovery is like a vast supply of water....
(Preview)
Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums! Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...
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John
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6
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336
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Financial toll of alcoholism
(Preview)
We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...
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KennyFenderjazz
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16
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666
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Guilt shame won't let be live
(Preview)
I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...
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Wisdom67
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11
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530
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Minding my own business
(Preview)
I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...
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el-cee
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9
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619
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New member here (Very lengthy post)
(Preview)
Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...
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NatalieP
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6
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566
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Things winding down and not ..
(Preview)
It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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501
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Emotional Abuse
(
1 2 3
)
(Preview)
Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?
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Truth
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92
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2147
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Supporting a Significant Other
(Preview)
So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...
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ardy9
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3
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639
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I feel like I can take my life back
(Preview)
I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what *I* want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...
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sadsusie
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7
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600
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Oops I did it again!
(Preview)
Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...
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cmb
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3
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458
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my mom is using me again...
(Preview)
I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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419
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New Here and Need Help
(Preview)
I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...
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Jkphotogal
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14
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540
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Recovery vs Working For God
(Preview)
Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...
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WorkingThroughIt
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11
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626
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quote
(Preview)
Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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230
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He went away OK
(Preview)
I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...
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Cathyinaz
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14
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649
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Is he an Alcoholic?
(Preview)
This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...
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hmk
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4
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417
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Trying to regain trust ....
(Preview)
I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...
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NavySealWife
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5
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552
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Fear of "Being Duped" - your experience please
(Preview)
I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...
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WorkingThroughIt
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7
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716
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He's Homeless
(Preview)
Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...
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Cathyinaz
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30
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663
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a reason to post
(Preview)
I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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309
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My mind may be approaching serenity but my BODY is NOT
(Preview)
Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...
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sadsusie
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5
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563
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Al anon gives us a choice
(Preview)
I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...
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Newlife girl
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4
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283
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In the beginning there was honesty
(Preview)
Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...
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Wisdom67
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2
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376
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Checking my motive?
(Preview)
At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...
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Kerrymom
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6
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444
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Be Bold!
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...
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slogan_jim
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9
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312
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Dealing with crazy people? Warning....contains a lot of pointless venting....
(Preview)
I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...
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Melly1248
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18
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713
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teeny tiny text? Help!!
(Preview)
Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...
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Melly1248
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5
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332
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Need some kind words...
(Preview)
I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...
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Akavanagh
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9
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401
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ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well
(Preview)
this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...
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Debilyn
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4
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520
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Hopeless...getting worse.
(Preview)
I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...
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LucyLynn
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5
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458
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made a mistake. AS upset.
(Preview)
last night i made plans to visit my AS. i accidentally fell asleep and didn't make it. i felt horrible and apologized several times. he left me a message to stay out of his life. he brought up a lot of of my past parenting mistakes. in the past i have tried making amends to him for the things i did or did not...
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debhud
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11
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662
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Rules for healthy living
(Preview)
"Be here now. Keep your vibe high, be gentile, but honest. Expect nothing, enjoy those you love, be curious be present, laugh a lot. Love a lot. Stay open to mystery, awe and wonder. Commune with nature, have faith, trust guidance, release fear, let go....." ...
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Beatrice
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4
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411
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recovery and moral obligation
(Preview)
Hello all. Here are my thoughts on recovery.....I had to re-read all my books yesterday after talking to AH in rehab.....he is soon to be released and they have given him aftercare treatment options. I don't know what he will choose as I left it to him when he asked me what I wanted. (Well, I did tell hi...
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jillybean1
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6
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570
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update "leaving"
(Preview)
so many of you have responded to me these past few weeks. i cherish all your love and insight. i digest it all , "take want i want and leave the rest" so, let me say, i hear your concerns. . all of them, i do. and yes as i awake this morning im thinking, "have i done it again, have i cried wolf&qu...
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Theoceancalls
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15
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639
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New and Lost
(Preview)
Hey everyone. I'm brand new in here and I'm not sure where to begin. It's kinda crazy anyway, because I grew up with an alcoholic father and now my 2nd husband is an alcoholic. The extreme difference in the two of them is that even though my father was very functional (not at all now, he has had heart atta...
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PNR817
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11
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492
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Grabbin "Recovery/Boot" Straps One More Time...
(Preview)
Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event... Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Wo...
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Jozie
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1
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625
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First Time Posting
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to this board and have only been to one meeting in person. I am currently attending a woman's group at church on Wednesday's and on Sunday's I volunteer during first service, attend a class, then attend second service. I started going when my daughter starting having difficulties at ho...
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saralee77777
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6
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463
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He's mad again
(Preview)
This has become a normal occurance. Every morning he gets mad at for something and I honestly have no idea what I did. Yesterday, the same thing he comes home at the end of the day and says you don't care too much you never called me today to find out why I was mad. I am trying to figure out how to say to him t...
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chadg
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7
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521
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Independent vs. entitled
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I thought I'd share something. At my last meeting I brought something up on being independent and working for things vs. a sense of entitlement. I mentioned that even with all my years of experienc...
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slogan_jim
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3
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430
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NyQuil
(Preview)
First off I will admit I should not be checking up on the A. I have been back and forth to my house taking things out and I notice that he is drinking NyQuil. I understand I am powerless over him and alcohol...but I am dying to ask people here...would you count NyQuil as drinking alcohol??? It has alcohol in...
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Newlife girl
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9
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2825
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Husband and Alcohol
(Preview)
This is my first time posting here... Married 11 years together for 17. I have 2 amazing kids. Husband is totally unreasonable...He goes out and drinks most nights, cannot even think of the last time he didn't. Comes home drunk, either passes out on the couch or comes up to bed and usually wakes me...
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chadg
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12
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661
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HP is Always Right...
(Preview)
I haven't posted for awhile, life has thrown me some curve balls and I forgot about step one, powerlessness. My mentally ill son was hospitalized for threatening suicide and more due to not taking his meds, and A was unbelievably supportive and non judgemental. Very strange, unexpected, and I feel g...
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mm830
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4
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274
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New to site
(Preview)
Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...
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goldenchild1
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2
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269
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He decides to clean the house AFTER we leave!!
(Preview)
This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...
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Newlife girl
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9
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537
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Al Anon Tools
(Preview)
I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you
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Starting Again
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6
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534
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Just a little something that got my attention
(Preview)
Choose wisely who you give your energy to. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
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PP
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10
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418
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Stress Overload - Please Help!
(Preview)
I am a Mother of 4, Grandmother of 6. I have a 36 yr. old non functioning alcoholic daughter. She has struggled with addictions since the age of 15, starting with crack-cocaine and alcohol, narcotics, methadone and now straight alcohol. She had 3 children, ages now 18, and 9 yr. old twin girls ( I have f...
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NanaOfSix
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9
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542
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Thoughts
(Preview)
" There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less then the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela
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Beatrice
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5
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377
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Right time to choose a sponsor?
(Preview)
Hi, I have only been with the program for just over a week but I am already wondering when is the right time to choose a sponsor??? I have only attended 2 face to face meetings but already feel the benefit of the program. Is it to early to be thinking about a sponsor?? I look forward to hearing from anyone wi...
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southernlass
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6
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537
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