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New to site
(Preview)
Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...
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goldenchild1
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2
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157
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He decides to clean the house AFTER we leave!!
(Preview)
This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...
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Newlife girl
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9
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426
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Al Anon Tools
(Preview)
I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you
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Starting Again
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6
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417
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Just a little something that got my attention
(Preview)
Choose wisely who you give your energy to. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
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PP
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10
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301
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Stress Overload - Please Help!
(Preview)
I am a Mother of 4, Grandmother of 6. I have a 36 yr. old non functioning alcoholic daughter. She has struggled with addictions since the age of 15, starting with crack-cocaine and alcohol, narcotics, methadone and now straight alcohol. She had 3 children, ages now 18, and 9 yr. old twin girls ( I have f...
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NanaOfSix
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9
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439
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Thoughts
(Preview)
" There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less then the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela
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Beatrice
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5
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278
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Right time to choose a sponsor?
(Preview)
Hi, I have only been with the program for just over a week but I am already wondering when is the right time to choose a sponsor??? I have only attended 2 face to face meetings but already feel the benefit of the program. Is it to early to be thinking about a sponsor?? I look forward to hearing from anyone wi...
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southernlass
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6
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427
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Question
(Preview)
I have been away from Al Anon for about a year now. I attended for about year after I ended an engagement with an alcoholic, bipolar guy. It was great to get the support for awhile, but then I began to feel wrong about my sponsor, and stuck on the fourth step, and found meetings depressing the more I got t...
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kdhmftexfiance
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11
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352
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Update on Dad
(Preview)
Thank you all for your prayers and support since my Dad entered the hospital and then the SNF in January. At 3:40 this morning, he died. I was alone in his room with him. This past Sunday, he didn't want me to leave him and go back home. I knew it was because he wanted me to be with him when he died. I had to...
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grateful2be
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23
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328
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Worried tonight
(Preview)
Warning flags are popping up. After weeks of massive improvement, I'm afraid that he might be drinking again. Crappy mood, slight slurring of words, 'poor-me' party. Or, you know, he might just be in a crappy mood and I'm overthinking. Must not listen to the crazy-brain.
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SpiderArcana
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7
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183
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Today, I am surrounded by negativity
(Preview)
Hi - It's Robin, I am at work. I found some new ways to advertise and find mystery shoppers for our company. My co worker followed through by placing an ad in a Thrifty Nickel. I heard the owner say, "Don't hold your breath". This makes me angry. I am looking at my 4th step again. One of my defects...
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mercedes1959
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14
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375
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I finally get it!
(Preview)
My ABF has been telling me on a monthly basis, "I don't now what I want, I was in a relationship like this for 14 years, I don't know if I want this". I realized what he meant was, when I complained, questioned or showed concern over his pills/cocaine/alchohol use - he leaves me! Huh...I did it a...
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cmb
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7
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409
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Change?
(Preview)
My A is an ex who I was with for five years. Love of my life but depleted my soul with his drinking. We split but he called this week promising to change and talks of marriage. Anyone want to share their experiences with me from similar situations?
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Forgiveness82
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8
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796
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seriously thinking of leaving
(Preview)
well i think this has been coming for awhile and as terrifying as it is, i think i am ready to be out of this alc marriage. i made mention to ah this morning that we need to talk . he quickyl was defensive and explosive and full.of blame to me . . screaming yelling. daughter crying. i stated WE ARE MISERABLE . ....
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Theoceancalls
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17
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382
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Family member with dt's in icu
(Preview)
5 days ago my alcoholic sister was admitted to the hospital by her husband, who had no knowledge of her drinking, thinking she had some type of brain tumor or low blood sugar, denial can be very powerful. I had suspected she was drinking for about a month now, not knowing exactly how bad It had gotten, I c...
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Worried72
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4
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383
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Guilt at walking away from alcoholic mother
(Preview)
Hiya. This is the first time I have posted. I have an alcoholic mother. Her drinking started when she emigrated to Canada from the U.K fifteen years ago. This also coincided with me (her only child) giving birth to her first grandchild. I have since had three further children. The last fifteen years ha...
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samb
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4
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1167
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I don't think I can live with him anymore, the love has been choked out
(Preview)
I have posted quite a lot over the last few days...I am certainly at a crossroads. I am considering moving out...going to see the place tomorrow, and ought to take it or I will be waiting for another to open up. My AH has been through rehab. I had left him shortly before that for the first time (only time)...
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sadsusie
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14
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676
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still running
(Preview)
While living with my ex ah, I ran from the truth of our life, of my life in many things, books and studying, tv, internet, work, anything that distracted me from thinking things through, from being still and quiet and listening to my own soul. My first year in alanon, I spent my time facing it all, listeni...
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el-cee
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8
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455
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Detachment - something I'm seeing deeper
(Preview)
Hi everyone Happy St Patricks Day yesterday at work (I do a form of customer service) a customer (about 30 years old) and her mother hurled insults at me. I guess they felt because they were paying me they could take out their anxiety on me. I had made a mistake that wasn't going to cost them any money and w...
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WorkingThroughIt
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7
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466
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What leads an A to AA?
(Preview)
my AH has been white-knuckling sobriety for two months. Although I know it will not last I have to admit it has been a very blissful two months. It honestly felt like we were normal people for a while and I didn't have a ball of nerves in my stomach all the time. However i think the honeymoon period is over an...
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tweety23
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8
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676
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my first post
(Preview)
I have been lurking on this board for several years and had to finally delurk. I chose the name Starting Again because I feel like I am always starting over at step one. My husband is an alcoholic. That is hard for me to write. I found out 8 years ago when he told me. He was very good at hiding it. Over th...
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Starting Again
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14
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529
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NEEED TO VENT
(Preview)
MY AH HAS VERY SINGLE TYPE OF LIE AND EXCUSE TO GET A DRINK. I COME HOME AND ALL HE WANTS IS MONEY FOR WHAT EVER HE MAKES A LIE FOR AND HE PROMISES ME TO COME HOME SO WE CAN HAVE OUR DATE NIGHT FRIDAY. SO HERE I AM HOME ALONE AND I DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO IT. I FEEL THAT IT TAKING ME DOWN WITH HIS DISEASE. BUT I NEED TO GO BAC...
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NavySealWife
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4
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348
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AH got me pregnant - i need ESH from alanon
(Preview)
all of last year we were broken up and i was going to alanon and getting on a recovery path. i relapsed over the holidays and went over to his house, and he got me pregnant. I have 6 months until my due date. i moved in with him. he said we are back together again. the first month he drank and was crazy and o...
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abell
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6
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487
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He's running out of options
(Preview)
I took a call from my son today - well actually it was a doctor who called from a hospital telling me my son was assaulted by someone in the rooming house where he's been living and wanted to reach out to me. He transferred the call and I spoke with my son. He told me he was beaten up, had some of his things stol...
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Rose50
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10
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478
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Frustrated
(Preview)
Hey, I'm pretty new. Have had two meetings... I'm afraid I lost it tonight. I have been thinking of the art of letting go (what a relief not to feel guilty for doing things /for not doing things for not leaving /for not trying hard enough) This week I have been thinking of progress not perfection and als...
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bora
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6
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411
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Alright so I blew up at him!
(Preview)
I again called exAH to let him know that my 16 year old wants to head back with him and my little one for her Spring break next week and well I could tell he was hanging. Once I realized he was probably drinking every night after work while I had our 5 year old and I just got so mad. I told him he is an idiot and that...
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Breakingfree
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10
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407
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Good one, HP.
(Preview)
lol. I get a student allowance. And I'm extremely grateful for it. However the other day I received a phone call to tell me that my allowance had been cancelled as I had not attended an appointment. I called and was told that this was a mistake as I was a) not required to attend an appointment and b) my allow...
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Melly1248
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10
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417
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The Up and The Down
(Preview)
My AH just got back from a business trip. He is being very nice and communicative. Ah yes, out of the ordinary at this point because he's been silent and derisive last week. I just needed a place to vent. I'm going to a meeting tonight, thankfully! I'm just so tired of the up and the down. One day he a...
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ilovedogs
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12
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555
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Newbie
(Preview)
Hi all,My name is Marisa and my husband is an AH & NA. I found this website last night when my husband was drunk and raging out. I feel like Im walking on glass. I need help because my heart is heavy. I feel like I need someone to talk too thats been in my shoes or is wearing them. My husband has been drinkin...
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Mari1988
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5
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462
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Going back on your boundaries
(Preview)
So My AH convinced me to give him a 2nd chance. He agreed to the following among other things 90 meetings in 90 days, if he were to miss a meeting he goes to two the next day. No drinking obviously. no lying. SO 1. He found some beer I had hidden and drank it. 2. lied and said that he "dumped it"...
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sadsusie
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8
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413
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STEP WORK BOARD
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57030894/alanon-step-2/
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hotrod
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0
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171
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Am I Crazy?
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I'm in a state I don't like. No I'm not having one bit of problem with my son but I used to be able to handle most anything that comes my way but lately that has changed. Example: I lost my doctor and hospital because of the insurance company not picking up the network. I went right into panic...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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500
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I am not having any FUN; rain rain go away
(Preview)
As usual on a rainy day I am not having fun! I haven't been able to kick up my heels & jump in some rain puddles. I am struggling w/ hurry & indesion. Can't spell either. I am trying not to stress over anything. I just want to slow down & take it all in. The rain doesn't usually bother me too much bu...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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335
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Finding humor in all the craziness
(Preview)
AH has been out of house for 7 months now. He avoids me at all costs with reasons like "If I see you I will want you" or "It is too hard on me to see you". Had a conversation with AH the other day and I have to say instead of letting his irrational thoughts get to me, I almost had to laug...
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mongowal
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2
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262
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How long can you live with liver disease when you continue to drink???
(Preview)
This may be like asking the length of a piece of string BUT how long can someone survive with serious liver disease while continuing to drink? My mum has severe ascites, no appetite, has lost over three stone in weight, very shaky, cold, has difficulty walking, gets very confused and makes up things t...
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redred
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7
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345
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Admitting - saying it aloud
(Preview)
Finally said it today in counseling, been weighing on me since my baby was born, just short of 6 weeks early, it's my fault she was premature. I was so stressed trying to keep it together, shield my son from the dysfunction of drunk dad, my anger at AH, and I had went away for a girl scrapbook weekend the wee...
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Kerrymom
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7
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465
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My first Al-Anon meeting [in person]
(Preview)
I attended my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday in Canada. It was absolutely amazing. I was scared to attend but I left there feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. Just a post of appreciation and gratitude. 
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Forgiveness82
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5
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305
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Do you mention when A does NOT drink?
(Preview)
Hey guys, quick question. When the A in your life chooses not to drink that day, do you bring it up in almost a "thank you for making that choice today" sort of way? Or is it better to just not mention it?
Or is it better to just carry on as usual?
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Akavanagh
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10
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418
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Alcoholic Mum making things up...
(Preview)
Hello this is my first time on here. I have just returned from my Mums house. Its her Birthday. I brought cards and presents. The visit started well until she started rehashing things that happened in the past. Most of which she does not remember properly. She changes the stories and adds in load...
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redred
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7
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382
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Fearing loss
(Preview)
Someone I have grown to care about got sick this week and landed in the hospital. It really threw me. Couldn't sleep for two nights. I have taken a good, long look at myself as a result. I am not afraid to die (I'm not wanting to die). What I really fear is loss. I fear loss so much so that for the last at l...
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Lyne
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3
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276
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to muffindog72
(Preview)
thank you for the PM. i am not able to reply though as i always get an error message. i can receive the PMs though.and would love to e chat with you. if you are able, send me an email through pm and i will correspond with you via email. otherwise thank you. a kindred spirit you may be and our profession itself m...
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Theoceancalls
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9
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447
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I'm in shock .. (it's a good thing)
(Preview)
Umm .. I don't even know where to start on this post .. I will be able to share more after today and I will try to get into my coffee shop to do so .. LOL. I had court on Monday and my atty is stating that there seems to be an urgency to end the divorce .. which is great .. however .. based upon what I know .. I may be th...
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SerenityRUS
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10
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430
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al anon in a nutshell…?? moving on new territory…need input!
(Preview)
hello MIP, well I'm still working my program far away from Al Anon meetings. But nevertheless I am changing my behaviors and attitudes through keeping up the work. And HP does it such ways, that here in my remote area, I also came across the issue of alcoholic disease and it's partner: co-dependence. N...
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tortuga
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2
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349
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Favourite Quotes....
(Preview)
I stumbled across a new quote that is now among my "recovery" favorites.... "You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." - Author Unknown.... I think that one speaks volumes, and it made me smile today. Tom p.s. My "favorites list" would now includ...
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canadianguy
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8
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21972
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Oops he did it again, major consequences this time!
(Preview)
I have my little one for Spring break and I had to take her to the ER last night for a major bladder infection. This is the second one since he has had her, no history of this before. I called him to find out when she got off the last antibiotic and he sounded drunk and could not tell me what she was on and the las...
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Breakingfree
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13
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564
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Planning a professional intervention for my AM..
(Preview)
If ya'll could please send some prayers/good thoughts my family's way I'd appreciate it..we have decided to do a professional intervention for my AM. It's in 03/30/2014. My dad, brother, sister & I already met once with the person my brother knows...we're meeting again this weekend..and in th...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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3
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202
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working the program
(Preview)
Another realisation I have had, thanks to a member of this fellowship is that this program takes serious committment. Setting boundaries of my own and living this program. Its not enough just to know it and think it. You have got to live it . I have not been living it fully, is it possible to live it fully?...
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el-cee
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5
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639
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haven't been on here...
(Preview)
I am not new to this site; I just haven't been on here for awhile. For those who don't know me, I have been coming to our local library to get on here for years. I am unable to even though I have a tablet been able to post. Long story: I can't seem to be comfortable on the chairs. I am on my knees right now. I am frus...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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195
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Major life changes need encouragement
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am new here. I haven't introduced myself yet. I have been going to al anon for about a year. My AH is why I started to go to meetings. I go to meetings for myself now because I have worked through the first 4 steps so I know I need to look at myself and I accept I cannot change my AH. My AH was hospita...
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Newlife girl
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7
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408
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It...it's been a year??
(Preview)
I was looking back through my posts (the remind me where I came from and show me my progress) and I noticed my first one was in March of last year. I kept thinking, 'That can't be right. I've only been working with Al Anon and MIP for about 4-5 months!' Nope. March 2013. I can't believe where I was, and wh...
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SpiderArcana
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7
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312
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Fresh Grief? Whaaaaaaa?
(Preview)
Hi Sweet-ones, It's been almost 2 years since I left my exA. No contact. Have been in recovery (mostly other programs than al anon, but I stop in from time to time) And lately, I have had this fresh crop of grief about it. I. MISS. HIM! What the heck? I am crying late at night and paralyzed again? I'm strugg...
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CDK
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4
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322
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Advice for 9 yo with A mom?
(Preview)
Hi folks, My stepson now lives with us full-time because his mom has been consumed by her alcoholism. He is 9. He isn't much for talking about his emotions...I know he misses his mom, but he also seems happy/well-adjusted and glad to be in our house with us. We have talked to him about the idea of therapy...
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Tricksie
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6
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395
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I love my little meeting.
(Preview)
Remember when I didn't go to the one and only meeting in my town because there were only 2 other people and it seemed repetetive and various other excuses? Well there seem to always be at least 5 regulars now (I am becoming one of them) and a few other "blow-ins". And I love it! It doesn't feel...
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Melly1248
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6
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419
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Learning to walk.
(Preview)
Hi all Just a small update. I haven't been posting a whole lot because...well, I guess I'm in "doing' mode just at the moment and I tend to get lost in words when I sit down and write. I log on daily and read everyone's ESH and love you all to pieces. But anyway, I'm finding that my "doing&qu...
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Melly1248
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8
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407
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prayers for Grateful2be and family
(Preview)
Hi Everyone: PLease include Grateful and family in your prayers; her Dad is very ill. She is with him and I'm sure would appreciate hugs from the MIP family. (((MIP))) Mary
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yanksfan51
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29
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615
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NO I do NOT have to love every body
(Preview)
i guess i am the odd ball in the recovery scene.......The word "love" is used a lot in the course of recovery relating....but what IS love really??? and isn't that a choice??? Based on experience???.....and isn't it born out of another's being more of a blessing then a curse??? I mean sho...
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neshema2
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4
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322
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My Saving Grace....
(Preview)
So Often in Life I Find myself the Martyr, I think at times Out of Habit, and others times because I'm Feeling Low or just Reaching for attention... but in looking back over Many Hard Years these last 5+yrs, I have also found some of my Saving Grace Moments... When My Parents Split I was 9 or 10, it was Bruta...
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Jozie
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3
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280
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Can you ever trust someone after it has been broken?
(Preview)
I am very new to Al-Anon, (in fact it will be one week on Thursday) and I would appreciate your experiences as I am currently trying to work out if you can ever trust someone after it has been broken. Is this something that can be regained or is it lost forever?? Thank you for any replies in advance.This i...
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southernlass
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14
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592
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the physical effect of alcohol
(Preview)
soooo. . just a random question as i dont understand withdrawl i guess, not that my ah is stopping his drinking or anything. . .but what happens to someones body who typixally drinks 3-4 times a week on the "off"days. . i mean i know i may get a slight headache if i dont hve my morning cup of coffe...
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Theoceancalls
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4
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377
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TAKING IT STEP BY STEP
(Preview)
It's been a whole four weeks since my biggest ordeal with my AH, and have learned many things thru my Al anon family and therapist. I love so much my AH but I know I cannot change him and his disease. I have learn to take care of me because I'm also human. I have many new friends on here and hope to continue my...
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NavySealWife
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4
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233
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