Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...

flinn66 · flinn66

Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...

HervieB · HervieB

Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...

arlivipj · arlivipj

So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...

Shif · Shif

Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...

chadg · chadg

How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...

Truth · Truth

John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...

Baffled · Baffled

There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...

John · John

Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums! Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...

el-cee · el-cee

I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...

New member here (Very lengthy post) · NatalieP

Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...

Truth · Truth

Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?

ardy9 · ardy9

So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what *I* want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...

cmb · cmb

Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...

Jkphotogal · Jkphotogal

I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...

Debilyn · Debilyn

this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...

LucyLynn · LucyLynn

I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...

debhud · debhud

last night i made plans to visit my AS. i accidentally fell asleep and didn't make it. i felt horrible and apologized several times. he left me a message to stay out of his life. he brought up a lot of of my past parenting mistakes. in the past i have tried making amends to him for the things i did or did not...

Beatrice · Beatrice

"Be here now. Keep your vibe high, be gentile, but honest. Expect nothing, enjoy those you love, be curious be present, laugh a lot. Love a lot. Stay open to mystery, awe and wonder. Commune with nature, have faith, trust guidance, release fear, let go....." ...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hello all. Here are my thoughts on recovery.....I had to re-read all my books yesterday after talking to AH in rehab.....he is soon to be released and they have given him aftercare treatment options. I don't know what he will choose as I left it to him when he asked me what I wanted. (Well, I did tell hi...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

so many of you have responded to me these past few weeks. i cherish all your love and insight. i digest it all , "take want i want and leave the rest" so, let me say, i hear your concerns. . all of them, i do. and yes as i awake this morning im thinking, "have i done it again, have i cried wolf&qu...

PNR817 · PNR817

Hey everyone. I'm brand new in here and I'm not sure where to begin. It's kinda crazy anyway, because I grew up with an alcoholic father and now my 2nd husband is an alcoholic. The extreme difference in the two of them is that even though my father was very functional (not at all now, he has had heart atta...

Jozie · Jozie

Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event... Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Wo...

saralee77777 · saralee77777

Hello, I am new to this board and have only been to one meeting in person. I am currently attending a woman's group at church on Wednesday's and on Sunday's I volunteer during first service, attend a class, then attend second service. I started going when my daughter starting having difficulties at ho...

chadg · chadg

This has become a normal occurance. Every morning he gets mad at for something and I honestly have no idea what I did. Yesterday, the same thing he comes home at the end of the day and says you don't care too much you never called me today to find out why I was mad. I am trying to figure out how to say to him t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I thought I'd share something. At my last meeting I brought something up on being independent and working for things vs. a sense of entitlement. I mentioned that even with all my years of experienc...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

First off I will admit I should not be checking up on the A. I have been back and forth to my house taking things out and I notice that he is drinking NyQuil. I understand I am powerless over him and alcohol...but I am dying to ask people here...would you count NyQuil as drinking alcohol??? It has alcohol in...

chadg · chadg

This is my first time posting here... Married 11 years together for 17. I have 2 amazing kids. Husband is totally unreasonable...He goes out and drinks most nights, cannot even think of the last time he didn't. Comes home drunk, either passes out on the couch or comes up to bed and usually wakes me...

mm830 · mm830

I haven't posted for awhile, life has thrown me some curve balls and I forgot about step one, powerlessness. My mentally ill son was hospitalized for threatening suicide and more due to not taking his meds, and A was unbelievably supportive and non judgemental. Very strange, unexpected, and I feel g...

goldenchild1 · goldenchild1

Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...

Starting Again · Starting Again

I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Stupid stuff I am feeling. (Preview) Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...	Melly1248	10	582	Mar 25, 2014 by Melly1248
	Feeling the feelings (Preview) Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...	flinn66	6	597	Mar 25, 2014 by flinn66
	New Member Introduction -- Request for 4th step Experiences/Activities new member courage to change step 4 (Preview) Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...	HervieB	5	2402	Mar 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Very confused (Preview) So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...	arlivipj	11	465	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Is my husband an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...	Shif	10	586	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Intimacy (Preview) How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...	chadg	11	560	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	And The pendulum swings...... (Preview) I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...	sadsusie	6	518	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	we can work it out! (Preview) We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...	Hoot Nanny	1	283	Mar 24, 2014 by mm830
	Still trying to learn the new balance.... (Preview) John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...	Truth	23	628	Mar 24, 2014 by Truth
	I have to keep reminding myself...but why?? (Preview) I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...	Newlife girl	12	492	Mar 24, 2014 by Beatrice
	Just venting before I explode (Preview) I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...	Kerrymom	4	610	Mar 24, 2014 by Kerrymom
	The hope of finding healthier people (Preview) I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...	ClearTheFog	14	531	Mar 24, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Fear (Preview) Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...	Cathyinaz	17	557	Mar 24, 2014 by debhud
	My new counselor as of today said........ (Preview) I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...	Breakingfree	10	685	Mar 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A's drinking buddies won't leave (Preview) There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...	Baffled	7	845	Mar 23, 2014 by tommywhite
	Recovery is like a vast supply of water.... (Preview) *Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums!* *Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.****If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...*	John	6	340	Mar 23, 2014 by lightblue2
	Financial toll of alcoholism (Preview) We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...	KennyFenderjazz	16	671	Mar 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Guilt shame won't let be live (Preview) I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...	Wisdom67	11	534	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Minding my own business (Preview) I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...	el-cee	9	624	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	New member here (Very lengthy post) (Preview) Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...	NatalieP	6	569	Mar 23, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Things winding down and not .. (Preview) It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...	SerenityRUS	6	504	Mar 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Emotional Abuse ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?	Truth	92	2170	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	Supporting a Significant Other (Preview) So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...	ardy9	3	643	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	I feel like I can take my life back (Preview) I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what I want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...	sadsusie	7	604	Mar 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Oops I did it again! (Preview) Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...	cmb	3	462	Mar 23, 2014 by hopes314
	my mom is using me again... (Preview) I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...	Hoot Nanny	2	424	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	New Here and Need Help (Preview) I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...	Jkphotogal	14	544	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	Recovery vs Working For God (Preview) Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...	WorkingThroughIt	11	634	Mar 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	quote (Preview) Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	234	Mar 22, 2014 by el-cee
	He went away OK (Preview) I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...	Cathyinaz	14	653	Mar 22, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	4	421	Mar 22, 2014 by Jerry F
	Trying to regain trust .... (Preview) I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...	NavySealWife	5	555	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Fear of "Being Duped" - your experience please (Preview) I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...	WorkingThroughIt	7	721	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	He's Homeless (Preview) Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...	Cathyinaz	30	672	Mar 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	a reason to post (Preview) I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...	Hoot Nanny	3	313	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	My mind may be approaching serenity but my BODY is NOT (Preview) Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...	sadsusie	5	567	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	Al anon gives us a choice (Preview) I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...	Newlife girl	4	288	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	In the beginning there was honesty (Preview) Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...	Wisdom67	2	380	Mar 21, 2014 by hotrod
	Checking my motive? (Preview) At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...	Kerrymom	6	448	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Be Bold! (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...	slogan_jim	9	315	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Dealing with crazy people? Warning....contains a lot of pointless venting.... (Preview) I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...	Melly1248	18	717	Mar 21, 2014 by bud
	teeny tiny text? Help!! (Preview) Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...	Melly1248	5	336	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need some kind words... (Preview) I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...	Akavanagh	9	406	Mar 21, 2014 by tortuga
	ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well (Preview) this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...	Debilyn	4	523	Mar 21, 2014 by Truth
	Hopeless...getting worse. (Preview) I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...	LucyLynn	5	464	Mar 21, 2014 by Newlife girl
	made a mistake. AS upset. (Preview) last night i made plans to visit my AS. i accidentally fell asleep and didn't make it. i felt horrible and apologized several times. he left me a message to stay out of his life. he brought up a lot of of my past parenting mistakes. in the past i have tried making amends to him for the things i did or did not...	debhud	11	665	Mar 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Rules for healthy living (Preview) "Be here now. Keep your vibe high, be gentile, but honest. Expect nothing, enjoy those you love, be curious be present, laugh a lot. Love a lot. Stay open to mystery, awe and wonder. Commune with nature, have faith, trust guidance, release fear, let go....." ...	Beatrice	4	415	Mar 20, 2014 by bud
	recovery and moral obligation (Preview) Hello all. Here are my thoughts on recovery.....I had to re-read all my books yesterday after talking to AH in rehab.....he is soon to be released and they have given him aftercare treatment options. I don't know what he will choose as I left it to him when he asked me what I wanted. (Well, I did tell hi...	jillybean1	6	574	Mar 20, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	update "leaving" (Preview) so many of you have responded to me these past few weeks. i cherish all your love and insight. i digest it all , "take want i want and leave the rest" so, let me say, i hear your concerns. . all of them, i do. and yes as i awake this morning im thinking, "have i done it again, have i cried wolf&qu...	Theoceancalls	15	643	Mar 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	New and Lost (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm brand new in here and I'm not sure where to begin. It's kinda crazy anyway, because I grew up with an alcoholic father and now my 2nd husband is an alcoholic. The extreme difference in the two of them is that even though my father was very functional (not at all now, he has had heart atta...	PNR817	11	495	Mar 20, 2014 by sadsusie
	Grabbin "Recovery/Boot" Straps One More Time... (Preview) Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event... Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Wo...	Jozie	1	628	Mar 20, 2014 by hotrod
	First Time Posting (Preview) Hello, I am new to this board and have only been to one meeting in person. I am currently attending a woman's group at church on Wednesday's and on Sunday's I volunteer during first service, attend a class, then attend second service. I started going when my daughter starting having difficulties at ho...	saralee77777	6	467	Mar 20, 2014 by Jozie
	He's mad again (Preview) This has become a normal occurance. Every morning he gets mad at for something and I honestly have no idea what I did. Yesterday, the same thing he comes home at the end of the day and says you don't care too much you never called me today to find out why I was mad. I am trying to figure out how to say to him t...	chadg	7	524	Mar 20, 2014 by bud
	Independent vs. entitled (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I thought I'd share something. At my last meeting I brought something up on being independent and working for things vs. a sense of entitlement. I mentioned that even with all my years of experienc...	slogan_jim	3	434	Mar 20, 2014 by PP
	NyQuil (Preview) First off I will admit I should not be checking up on the A. I have been back and forth to my house taking things out and I notice that he is drinking NyQuil. I understand I am powerless over him and alcohol...but I am dying to ask people here...would you count NyQuil as drinking alcohol??? It has alcohol in...	Newlife girl	9	2851	Mar 19, 2014 by Wisdom67
	Husband and Alcohol (Preview) This is my first time posting here... Married 11 years together for 17. I have 2 amazing kids. Husband is totally unreasonable...He goes out and drinks most nights, cannot even think of the last time he didn't. Comes home drunk, either passes out on the couch or comes up to bed and usually wakes me...	chadg	12	664	Mar 19, 2014 by jillybean1
	HP is Always Right... (Preview) I haven't posted for awhile, life has thrown me some curve balls and I forgot about step one, powerlessness. My mentally ill son was hospitalized for threatening suicide and more due to not taking his meds, and A was unbelievably supportive and non judgemental. Very strange, unexpected, and I feel g...	mm830	4	278	Mar 19, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	New to site (Preview) Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...	goldenchild1	2	273	Mar 19, 2014 by mm830
	He decides to clean the house AFTER we leave!! (Preview) This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...	Newlife girl	9	541	Mar 19, 2014 by bud
	Al Anon Tools (Preview) I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you	Starting Again	6	538	Mar 19, 2014 by mm830
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.