Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...

Baffled · Baffled

There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...

John · John

Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums! Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...

el-cee · el-cee

I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...

New member here (Very lengthy post) · NatalieP

Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...

Truth · Truth

Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?

ardy9 · ardy9

So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what *I* want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...

cmb · cmb

Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...

Jkphotogal · Jkphotogal

I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...

Debilyn · Debilyn

this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...

LucyLynn · LucyLynn

I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...

debhud · debhud

last night i made plans to visit my AS. i accidentally fell asleep and didn't make it. i felt horrible and apologized several times. he left me a message to stay out of his life. he brought up a lot of of my past parenting mistakes. in the past i have tried making amends to him for the things i did or did not...

Beatrice · Beatrice

"Be here now. Keep your vibe high, be gentile, but honest. Expect nothing, enjoy those you love, be curious be present, laugh a lot. Love a lot. Stay open to mystery, awe and wonder. Commune with nature, have faith, trust guidance, release fear, let go....." ...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hello all. Here are my thoughts on recovery.....I had to re-read all my books yesterday after talking to AH in rehab.....he is soon to be released and they have given him aftercare treatment options. I don't know what he will choose as I left it to him when he asked me what I wanted. (Well, I did tell hi...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

so many of you have responded to me these past few weeks. i cherish all your love and insight. i digest it all , "take want i want and leave the rest" so, let me say, i hear your concerns. . all of them, i do. and yes as i awake this morning im thinking, "have i done it again, have i cried wolf&qu...

PNR817 · PNR817

Hey everyone. I'm brand new in here and I'm not sure where to begin. It's kinda crazy anyway, because I grew up with an alcoholic father and now my 2nd husband is an alcoholic. The extreme difference in the two of them is that even though my father was very functional (not at all now, he has had heart atta...

Jozie · Jozie

Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event... Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Wo...

saralee77777 · saralee77777

Hello, I am new to this board and have only been to one meeting in person. I am currently attending a woman's group at church on Wednesday's and on Sunday's I volunteer during first service, attend a class, then attend second service. I started going when my daughter starting having difficulties at ho...

chadg · chadg

This has become a normal occurance. Every morning he gets mad at for something and I honestly have no idea what I did. Yesterday, the same thing he comes home at the end of the day and says you don't care too much you never called me today to find out why I was mad. I am trying to figure out how to say to him t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I thought I'd share something. At my last meeting I brought something up on being independent and working for things vs. a sense of entitlement. I mentioned that even with all my years of experienc...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

First off I will admit I should not be checking up on the A. I have been back and forth to my house taking things out and I notice that he is drinking NyQuil. I understand I am powerless over him and alcohol...but I am dying to ask people here...would you count NyQuil as drinking alcohol??? It has alcohol in...

chadg · chadg

This is my first time posting here... Married 11 years together for 17. I have 2 amazing kids. Husband is totally unreasonable...He goes out and drinks most nights, cannot even think of the last time he didn't. Comes home drunk, either passes out on the couch or comes up to bed and usually wakes me...

mm830 · mm830

I haven't posted for awhile, life has thrown me some curve balls and I forgot about step one, powerlessness. My mentally ill son was hospitalized for threatening suicide and more due to not taking his meds, and A was unbelievably supportive and non judgemental. Very strange, unexpected, and I feel g...

goldenchild1 · goldenchild1

Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...

Starting Again · Starting Again

I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you

PP · PP

Choose wisely who you give your energy to. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

NanaOfSix · NanaOfSix

I am a Mother of 4, Grandmother of 6. I have a 36 yr. old non functioning alcoholic daughter. She has struggled with addictions since the age of 15, starting with crack-cocaine and alcohol, narcotics, methadone and now straight alcohol. She had 3 children, ages now 18, and 9 yr. old twin girls ( I have f...

Beatrice · Beatrice

" There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less then the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela

southernlass · southernlass

Hi, I have only been with the program for just over a week but I am already wondering when is the right time to choose a sponsor??? I have only attended 2 face to face meetings but already feel the benefit of the program. Is it to early to be thinking about a sponsor?? I look forward to hearing from anyone wi...

kdhmftexfiance · kdhmftexfiance

I have been away from Al Anon for about a year now. I attended for about year after I ended an engagement with an alcoholic, bipolar guy. It was great to get the support for awhile, but then I began to feel wrong about my sponsor, and stuck on the fourth step, and found meetings depressing the more I got t...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Thank you all for your prayers and support since my Dad entered the hospital and then the SNF in January. At 3:40 this morning, he died. I was alone in his room with him. This past Sunday, he didn't want me to leave him and go back home. I knew it was because he wanted me to be with him when he died. I had to...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Warning flags are popping up. After weeks of massive improvement, I'm afraid that he might be drinking again. Crappy mood, slight slurring of words, 'poor-me' party. Or, you know, he might just be in a crappy mood and I'm overthinking. Must not listen to the crazy-brain.

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi - It's Robin, I am at work. I found some new ways to advertise and find mystery shoppers for our company. My co worker followed through by placing an ad in a Thrifty Nickel. I heard the owner say, "Don't hold your breath". This makes me angry. I am looking at my 4th step again. One of my defects...

cmb · cmb

My ABF has been telling me on a monthly basis, "I don't now what I want, I was in a relationship like this for 14 years, I don't know if I want this". I realized what he meant was, when I complained, questioned or showed concern over his pills/cocaine/alchohol use - he leaves me! Huh...I did it a...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

My A is an ex who I was with for five years. Love of my life but depleted my soul with his drinking. We split but he called this week promising to change and talks of marriage. Anyone want to share their experiences with me from similar situations?

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well i think this has been coming for awhile and as terrifying as it is, i think i am ready to be out of this alc marriage. i made mention to ah this morning that we need to talk . he quickyl was defensive and explosive and full.of blame to me . . screaming yelling. daughter crying. i stated WE ARE MISERABLE . ....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The hope of finding healthier people (Preview) I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...	ClearTheFog	14	505	Mar 24, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Fear (Preview) Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...	Cathyinaz	17	530	Mar 24, 2014 by debhud
	My new counselor as of today said........ (Preview) I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...	Breakingfree	10	658	Mar 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A's drinking buddies won't leave (Preview) There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...	Baffled	7	819	Mar 23, 2014 by tommywhite
	Recovery is like a vast supply of water.... (Preview) *Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums!* *Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.****If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...*	John	6	316	Mar 23, 2014 by lightblue2
	Financial toll of alcoholism (Preview) We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...	KennyFenderjazz	16	646	Mar 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Guilt shame won't let be live (Preview) I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...	Wisdom67	11	509	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Minding my own business (Preview) I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...	el-cee	9	598	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	New member here (Very lengthy post) (Preview) Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...	NatalieP	6	546	Mar 23, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Things winding down and not .. (Preview) It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...	SerenityRUS	6	480	Mar 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Emotional Abuse ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?	Truth	92	2099	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	Supporting a Significant Other (Preview) So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...	ardy9	3	618	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	I feel like I can take my life back (Preview) I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what I want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...	sadsusie	7	574	Mar 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Oops I did it again! (Preview) Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...	cmb	3	437	Mar 23, 2014 by hopes314
	my mom is using me again... (Preview) I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...	Hoot Nanny	2	399	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	New Here and Need Help (Preview) I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...	Jkphotogal	14	517	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	Recovery vs Working For God (Preview) Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...	WorkingThroughIt	11	607	Mar 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	quote (Preview) Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	205	Mar 22, 2014 by el-cee
	He went away OK (Preview) I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...	Cathyinaz	14	627	Mar 22, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	4	395	Mar 22, 2014 by Jerry F
	Trying to regain trust .... (Preview) I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...	NavySealWife	5	530	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Fear of "Being Duped" - your experience please (Preview) I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...	WorkingThroughIt	7	683	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	He's Homeless (Preview) Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...	Cathyinaz	30	639	Mar 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	a reason to post (Preview) I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...	Hoot Nanny	3	286	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	My mind may be approaching serenity but my BODY is NOT (Preview) Well, It seems like it is time for me to make my move. I knowingly agreed to give him one more chance. He made an attempt to not drink, was 4 days sober, and chose to hang out with people/environments who temp him. He did not come home last night. I am no longer willing to wait for him to change and suffer the d...	sadsusie	5	537	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	Al anon gives us a choice (Preview) I just wanted to mention what al anon has given me. It has given me a choice. We can choose whether or not to live with an alcoholic. Nowhere in the literature that I have read does it say "you must live with an alcoholic". Al anon gives us tools to live by. Tools to use whether the alcoholic is sti...	Newlife girl	4	262	Mar 21, 2014 by Jen61
	In the beginning there was honesty (Preview) Hello make this quick . I go back to Therepy next week with hope he can help me with my 4 the step . Dr does have knowledge in the 12 program both sided of st. But he will help me better understand why my inventory is so hard for me . Last night looking at old photos and I seen letters of my spouse inventory he had d...	Wisdom67	2	354	Mar 21, 2014 by hotrod
	Checking my motive? (Preview) At my counseling session today I talked about what happened Saturday - ah was drinking with daughter in car. She told me to report it social services- it seems like the time frame would be off (it was almost a week ago, in my experience they also don't do anything with reports) and motive would be trying t...	Kerrymom	6	423	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Be Bold! (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I a grateful member of al-anon. I had an experience today. It was an experience where I set expectations and wound up disapointed. I thought one thing, while the other thought something else. The entire time I could sense that something within me was a miss. I wasn...	slogan_jim	9	291	Mar 21, 2014 by el-cee
	Dealing with crazy people? Warning....contains a lot of pointless venting.... (Preview) I think this is all right to discuss here. I don't know if this lady is an A or not (although I have my suspicions) but she sure behaves like one and dealing with her is making me as crazy as she is!! Remember cat lady? Well she hasn't gone away in spite of my wishing and hoping. As her pink letters in the mailbo...	Melly1248	18	690	Mar 21, 2014 by bud
	teeny tiny text? Help!! (Preview) Hmm. For some reason my (windows 8.1) laptop only displays MIP in a teeny tiny font that is so small I can barely make it out. Like when i was at the optometrist the other day and I had to try to read the bottom line of letters from across the room!! I've never had this issue on my desktop which runs W7 but can'...	Melly1248	5	311	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need some kind words... (Preview) I broke down last night and told AB that while I'm not SUPPOSED TO care, it gets old coming home to his bloodshot half open eyes every night after work. I get tired of always having to be the bad guy. It gets exhausting telling myself over and over "It's none of my business, its out of my control, don't...	Akavanagh	9	377	Mar 21, 2014 by tortuga
	ah denial, so painful, gotta break it to get well (Preview) this was on facebook.The denial breaks my heart. This gal waited years to be "blessed" by the right person to be her husband. I have been so heartached inside for her for many years.She was/is the best mom. Her kids, all three are wonderful people.She can be such a light in any group.I though...	Debilyn	4	499	Mar 21, 2014 by Truth
	Hopeless...getting worse. (Preview) I am a newbie to alanon and I've been doing better at trying to focus on me and my kids. Last night was a huge set back. My husband got home from work and right away i noticed him acting intoxicated. I quickly put our kids to bed and he got in the shower. I know i shouldn't do this but while he's in the shower I st...	LucyLynn	5	439	Mar 21, 2014 by Newlife girl
	made a mistake. AS upset. (Preview) last night i made plans to visit my AS. i accidentally fell asleep and didn't make it. i felt horrible and apologized several times. he left me a message to stay out of his life. he brought up a lot of of my past parenting mistakes. in the past i have tried making amends to him for the things i did or did not...	debhud	11	641	Mar 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Rules for healthy living (Preview) "Be here now. Keep your vibe high, be gentile, but honest. Expect nothing, enjoy those you love, be curious be present, laugh a lot. Love a lot. Stay open to mystery, awe and wonder. Commune with nature, have faith, trust guidance, release fear, let go....." ...	Beatrice	4	390	Mar 20, 2014 by bud
	recovery and moral obligation (Preview) Hello all. Here are my thoughts on recovery.....I had to re-read all my books yesterday after talking to AH in rehab.....he is soon to be released and they have given him aftercare treatment options. I don't know what he will choose as I left it to him when he asked me what I wanted. (Well, I did tell hi...	jillybean1	6	550	Mar 20, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	update "leaving" (Preview) so many of you have responded to me these past few weeks. i cherish all your love and insight. i digest it all , "take want i want and leave the rest" so, let me say, i hear your concerns. . all of them, i do. and yes as i awake this morning im thinking, "have i done it again, have i cried wolf&qu...	Theoceancalls	15	617	Mar 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	New and Lost (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm brand new in here and I'm not sure where to begin. It's kinda crazy anyway, because I grew up with an alcoholic father and now my 2nd husband is an alcoholic. The extreme difference in the two of them is that even though my father was very functional (not at all now, he has had heart atta...	PNR817	11	470	Mar 20, 2014 by sadsusie
	Grabbin "Recovery/Boot" Straps One More Time... (Preview) Isn't it something How Deep this Disease can Go? Isn't it Insanity the Length One will Go, or When I STOP and Look around I Realize tho at times Just How many People it effects in a Long Chain of Events one at a Time, Event after Event... Its So Much Deeper then I can even Imagine Most days... I have been Wo...	Jozie	1	602	Mar 20, 2014 by hotrod
	First Time Posting (Preview) Hello, I am new to this board and have only been to one meeting in person. I am currently attending a woman's group at church on Wednesday's and on Sunday's I volunteer during first service, attend a class, then attend second service. I started going when my daughter starting having difficulties at ho...	saralee77777	6	439	Mar 20, 2014 by Jozie
	He's mad again (Preview) This has become a normal occurance. Every morning he gets mad at for something and I honestly have no idea what I did. Yesterday, the same thing he comes home at the end of the day and says you don't care too much you never called me today to find out why I was mad. I am trying to figure out how to say to him t...	chadg	7	502	Mar 20, 2014 by bud
	Independent vs. entitled (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. it is 11:30 pm and I am wide awake. I thought I'd share something. At my last meeting I brought something up on being independent and working for things vs. a sense of entitlement. I mentioned that even with all my years of experienc...	slogan_jim	3	408	Mar 20, 2014 by PP
	NyQuil (Preview) First off I will admit I should not be checking up on the A. I have been back and forth to my house taking things out and I notice that he is drinking NyQuil. I understand I am powerless over him and alcohol...but I am dying to ask people here...would you count NyQuil as drinking alcohol??? It has alcohol in...	Newlife girl	9	2775	Mar 19, 2014 by Wisdom67
	Husband and Alcohol (Preview) This is my first time posting here... Married 11 years together for 17. I have 2 amazing kids. Husband is totally unreasonable...He goes out and drinks most nights, cannot even think of the last time he didn't. Comes home drunk, either passes out on the couch or comes up to bed and usually wakes me...	chadg	12	641	Mar 19, 2014 by jillybean1
	HP is Always Right... (Preview) I haven't posted for awhile, life has thrown me some curve balls and I forgot about step one, powerlessness. My mentally ill son was hospitalized for threatening suicide and more due to not taking his meds, and A was unbelievably supportive and non judgemental. Very strange, unexpected, and I feel g...	mm830	4	252	Mar 19, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	New to site (Preview) Hello, I am a family member of an alcoholic and new to this site, however, I am not sure if I am in the right place. I joined in at 9 PM, but from what I was reading the mtg usually begins reading of the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon. Is this something that I would do on my own or does someone conduct the meeting...	goldenchild1	2	246	Mar 19, 2014 by mm830
	He decides to clean the house AFTER we leave!! (Preview) This is bothering me...I moved out with our kids over a week ago. My AH has a lot of junk. Seriously. He is a hoarder. I have begged and pleaded with him to clean during the last 11 years of living together. He has finally decided to clean up AFtER we move out! How ironic. :( Maybe he has finally hit rock bott...	Newlife girl	9	516	Mar 19, 2014 by bud
	Al Anon Tools (Preview) I have heard people mention their "tool box" that they use to help them recover. I know reading the Al Anon literature is a tool, as is going to meetings. Can anyone share what other specific tools they use. Tools for serenity, detachment, coping, etc. Thank you	Starting Again	6	512	Mar 19, 2014 by mm830
	Just a little something that got my attention (Preview) Choose wisely who you give your energy to. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.	PP	10	394	Mar 18, 2014 by bud
	Stress Overload - Please Help! (Preview) I am a Mother of 4, Grandmother of 6. I have a 36 yr. old non functioning alcoholic daughter. She has struggled with addictions since the age of 15, starting with crack-cocaine and alcohol, narcotics, methadone and now straight alcohol. She had 3 children, ages now 18, and 9 yr. old twin girls ( I have f...	NanaOfSix	9	523	Mar 18, 2014 by hotrod
	Thoughts (Preview) " There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less then the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela	Beatrice	5	359	Mar 18, 2014 by bud
	Right time to choose a sponsor? (Preview) Hi, I have only been with the program for just over a week but I am already wondering when is the right time to choose a sponsor??? I have only attended 2 face to face meetings but already feel the benefit of the program. Is it to early to be thinking about a sponsor?? I look forward to hearing from anyone wi...	southernlass	6	517	Mar 18, 2014 by neshema2
	Question (Preview) I have been away from Al Anon for about a year now. I attended for about year after I ended an engagement with an alcoholic, bipolar guy. It was great to get the support for awhile, but then I began to feel wrong about my sponsor, and stuck on the fourth step, and found meetings depressing the more I got t...	kdhmftexfiance	11	439	Mar 18, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	Update on Dad (Preview) Thank you all for your prayers and support since my Dad entered the hospital and then the SNF in January. At 3:40 this morning, he died. I was alone in his room with him. This past Sunday, he didn't want me to leave him and go back home. I knew it was because he wanted me to be with him when he died. I had to...	grateful2be	23	410	Mar 18, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Worried tonight (Preview) Warning flags are popping up. After weeks of massive improvement, I'm afraid that he might be drinking again. Crappy mood, slight slurring of words, 'poor-me' party. Or, you know, he might just be in a crappy mood and I'm overthinking. Must not listen to the crazy-brain.	SpiderArcana	7	267	Mar 18, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Today, I am surrounded by negativity (Preview) Hi - It's Robin, I am at work. I found some new ways to advertise and find mystery shoppers for our company. My co worker followed through by placing an ad in a Thrifty Nickel. I heard the owner say, "Don't hold your breath". This makes me angry. I am looking at my 4th step again. One of my defects...	mercedes1959	14	453	Mar 18, 2014 by mercedes1959
	I finally get it! (Preview) My ABF has been telling me on a monthly basis, "I don't now what I want, I was in a relationship like this for 14 years, I don't know if I want this". I realized what he meant was, when I complained, questioned or showed concern over his pills/cocaine/alchohol use - he leaves me! Huh...I did it a...	cmb	7	499	Mar 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Change? (Preview) My A is an ex who I was with for five years. Love of my life but depleted my soul with his drinking. We split but he called this week promising to change and talks of marriage. Anyone want to share their experiences with me from similar situations?	Forgiveness82	8	887	Mar 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	seriously thinking of leaving (Preview) well i think this has been coming for awhile and as terrifying as it is, i think i am ready to be out of this alc marriage. i made mention to ah this morning that we need to talk . he quickyl was defensive and explosive and full.of blame to me . . screaming yelling. daughter crying. i stated WE ARE MISERABLE . ....	Theoceancalls	17	467	Mar 17, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.