The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Someone I have grown to care about got sick this week and landed in the hospital. It really threw me. Couldn't sleep for two nights. I have taken a good, long look at myself as a result. I am not afraid to die (I'm not wanting to die). What I really fear is loss. I fear loss so much so that for the last at least 20 years, I have turned away several new people that wanted to have lunch, coffee, and start a friendship. I told myself I was too busy. But I think I don't want to be so vulnerable. This person who got sick this week I sort of got attached to without planning to do so. And when I was confronted with a possible loss I got shook up. I think I need to work on this with my sponsor and HP. Perhaps I have missed out on some wonderful new friends because of my fear. Yes I have had traumatic losses, my father, a career, a marriage, but so does everyone, and some much worse than mine. I have to thank the program for encouraging me to look at myself with honesty, Lyne
Great Post and awareness Lyne...good inventory work, commitment and relationship with your HP...That is how I was taught it also with my sponsor. Since I have learned about powerlessness and acceptance my fears of loss have diminished so much and it is so much more easy to live in the moment and day. Detachment has also helped. I'm so grateful to our program. ((((hugs))))
