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This too shall pass .. however ..
(Preview)
I'm soooo in the middle of a very dark fantasy. STBAX has not contacted me or the kids about visitation this weekend. This screams of him drinking which is none of my business however .. it is one of those situations that is so completely predictable. I haven't heard from him since Monday when I set my...
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SerenityRUS
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18
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705
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Stuck between a Rock and hard place
(Preview)
I have two problems that I am trying to work through at the moment and not sure how to resolve or move forward with them. Any guidance would be extremely helpfulFirst are boundaries with A. It was agreed that A would undertake a home detox and I would help them do this but once they had completed this the...
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southernlass
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4
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392
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Rejection ..
(Preview)
Ok .. I'm big on self introspection today .. I just kind of have tried to keep busy and just be .. I did have an interesting thought today about what has been going on and here it is that I did the rejecting of my STBAX .. hey I told him I didn't want him just stopping by and he still beat me to the punch of making th...
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SerenityRUS
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13
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406
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Job interview
(Preview)
I have a job interview on Monday in the morning in a city 5 hrs away. I leave tomorrow. I found an economical hotel close to the interview. I am nervous I purchased a new outfit and got car ready. I have been meditating and praying to HP. I have made wonderful friends in Alanon and at my work. I would miss them...
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texasgal
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11
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339
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Mediation Session Moved Again - A Good Thing?
(Preview)
So my mediation session was moved again, which is okay because it gives me more time to prepare. My ex-A has not contacted my son or myself since that last incident. However, that day he was trying to get me talk about mediation before mediation. He did state "that he wants me to acknowledge that h...
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Truth
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8
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312
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step 5 rethink
(Preview)
I recently met with my sponsor and told her some of my shortcomings, not all but easy does it, and so ive been thinking what do I do now, do I just move on to the next step? I have felt that this step needs more time and attention than that. Ive only done one part, ive admitted to another human being but I need to...
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el-cee
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3
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347
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In tears every day this week
(Preview)
I am not a crier. Never really have been. My dad used to shut down my tears quickly and my husband used to accuse me of using tears to manipulate him. So, I learned to control it. This week I have found that I am constantly fighting back tears. My AH saw me with little glistening tears in my eyes last nig...
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ilovedogs
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13
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581
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Coming back/Loneliness/Resenment
(Preview)
I haven't been to any F2F meetings for a few months. I used to go to a regular one once a week however I stopped going because I didn't feel like I was working my program in all areas of my life. I felt like when it was my time to share I would end up sounding like I was contradicting myself. My warped judgement o...
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sportychick
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5
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505
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Free Hugs Here! ;)
(Preview)
So I was just lurking around this morning and I've read so many beautiful, heartbreaking and inspiring shares. And I have to get out of here and go to work, and I don't want to. I feel bad that I don't have the ability to translate what my soul wants to say and fire off some eloquent replies. You are all my bro...
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Raven Juniper
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9
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289
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testing times
(Preview)
The isms of this disease live on in my family and sometimes they are very clear to see. There is drama going on in my family right now. I dont know exactly what it is because, I resisted turning into a detective, I did not snoop or pry and I did not manipulate people to get involved and fix. Its interesting b...
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el-cee
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9
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310
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observing the A
(Preview)
Hi all~Have been home sick all week and as my A is semi-retired, have had a window into the A's new life. A has lots of free time. Hd I not joined alanon a year ago I think I would have spent the week angry as well as sick! My A WAS going to 3 meetings a week and working with a sponsor. Now the A goes to 1 meeting...
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Lyne
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6
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463
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What am I missing?
(Preview)
I have been struggling so much with extreme anxiety over my situation. I cant put my finger on any one event just life with my AS in general. I completely understand and get the 3 c's. In theory I truly believe in "let go and let God" but in practice I just cannot turn off the anxiety and sadness o...
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Sallygcoe
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10
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544
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My A Son is doing well
(Preview)
He is now the proud father and I am a proud grama of a beautiful baby boy born today! And I do take some credit, I put lots of Alanon studying and memorizing and practicing and came to this board for support, in order to have the strength to say NO even if it killed me inside. I stuck to it and gave him boundarie...
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oldergal
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8
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404
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Anxiety ..
(Preview)
I honestly didn't know how much anxiety I have been carrying for a long time because I didn't know what it was in terms of a "feeling". I figured that out last August when the kids and I started seeing our respected therapists. The EMDR therapy I did was huge especially in conjunction with A...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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404
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Depressed
(Preview)
I'm not sure why I came on the boards today (except to see Mark's good news, LOL), because I'm in a such a bad place today. I just got back last night after spending a week at my mom's across the country. It was hard to be in the car with AH and I realized that if I didn't speak and talk about the trip, he wasn't...
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ilovedogs
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14
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661
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Just need to share tonight
(Preview)
So I haven't posted on here for about a year. I wasn't very active before, but some things have come up recently. My brother is an addict. He has used any and every drug to the maximum he could tolerate for 10 years. Most recent was meth and he would shoot it as well as heroin occasionally. His drug of c...
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Sam813
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4
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232
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letting go...not al anon but very important to me!
(Preview)
I have been involved in an organization for over 19 years & have decided to quit. It involves weight loss & is not a 12-step program. I just need to air out some of my concerns & issues in making this major decision. At this point I almost feel black-balled in a sense. Things are changing w/ th...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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276
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sent from a recovery pal...tee hee
(Preview)
I hope this does not offend anyone, no harm intended...I need to laugh at myself when I get all significant.
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PP
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10
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305
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Day 5 ...... A little tougher but going strong
(Preview)
So Day 5 has been equal amounts of emotions, however of the "grouchy" kind. I was very tired today but for some reason having a hard time resting.
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Truth
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4
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412
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Thoughts
(Preview)
"Too many of us are not living our dreams, because we are living our Fears."
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Beatrice
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8
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851
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Oh.
(Preview)
My grandma has always been there with me. She raised me and she has been there looking after me every step of the way.Always. So I sent her a text tonight, I have never asked her before. Did U ever go to alanon?I really thought she might have. NO why would I I am NOT an ALCOHOLIC WHAT are they telling you I cant...
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Melly1248
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16
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400
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Full circle - update
(Preview)
I posted this on the AA board, but wanted to share it here too cuz you guys are my peeps too :) - The job I had when I first got sober was on a juvenile detention unit. I did not get along with the clinical director for numerous reasons. Many of those were due to my character defects and poor boundaries due to...
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pinkchip
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18
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384
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A story
(Preview)
Once upon a time, a man and woman went upstairs to bed. Their children had been asleep for some time. A horrible thunderstorm was raging outside, but they felt comfortable and warm in their room. Suddenly, the front doorbell rang. The wife said to the husband - "Well, aren't you going to get...
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grateful2be
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13
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682
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How a day can change things
(Preview)
I am anxious. I am having some anxiety over my X. He calls me about my son's car and what he has to do to get it back. Has to be released by the DPS. Has to have insurance. Has to pay all the fines on it and has to have Power of Attorney to get it. He's asking me if I did this before. YEAH Bill.....twice. ...
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Cathyinaz
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8
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450
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Husband who is verbally abusive
(Preview)
I am new to this site. I went into the chat room a few nights ago and was so happy to talk with everyone but I still feel lost. I have been married to my husband for 5 years on May 16th. He is a alcoholic and had been addicted to drugs (he no longer does drugs). He actually traded one drug for another. Through the...
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Kalona44
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8
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676
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AH control slipping...
(Preview)
My brain told me it would and he would start drinking again, but then it lasted longer than it ever has (though was never completely sober for more than 12 days at a time) so started thinking maybe everyone was wrong he could do it. Last night he came in from playing outside with son and he was smiling, talk...
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Kerrymom
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10
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518
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Do all alcoholics?
(Preview)
Do all alcoholics talk to themselves? Mumble talk quite say I saying mean things? I try to ignore it not take it personal if I s a y anything it's gonna be a fight. He will roll his eyes blame me say I'm picking "oh here we go" because I snap as him to be quiet I truly believe he can't stop talking. I...
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mamachief
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6
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935
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low self-esteem
(Preview)
I've been working on my steps and I finished step 4 I'm meeting with ssponsor Saturday to do step 5. It was very emotionally exhausting. But the underlying theme is low self-esteem. I was abused physically and emotionally. I was cheated on 4 times. And I stayed all in the name of love. But maybe it was my l...
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texasgal
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11
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570
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Right now it is a blessing not knowing
(Preview)
We have had no contact with our son for two weeks now. I think about him hourly, I pray for him all the time. But I am ashamed to admit that, with him being in another country thousands of miles from us, there is some relief in just not knowing and not seeing what he is doing. When he is here, I can see what is ha...
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deacon
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4
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364
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Not sure if I should go back to him
(Preview)
So Im going to try to make this as short as possible. My husband is an alcoholic and has been drinking our whole marriage for 3 years with periods of sobriety the longest one being 2 years ago after he got a duo and was on probation but since we moved in October 2013 he has been drinking off and on trying to hid...
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Kah27
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22
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651
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Hope
(Preview)
Hello everyone its been too long since I've been here. Life gets in the way of everything. All of you are on my mind often and mean to stop by to share some thoughts but like I said life gets in the way. this past week we experienced a great holydayEaster. Some of us don't celebrate it or don't have that beli...
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sirchef
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2
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352
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HELP needed...I don't know what to do.
(Preview)
A couple years back my husbands reaction to alcohol came to the forefront. Alcohol turned him into a dark person...maybe that's an exaggeration but it did. The loving person I'm married to, would go away after 1-11/2 drinks each night. alcohol tuned him into an agitated, irritated, quick to anger, m...
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Isthisreal
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9
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579
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Busy as a bee...
(Preview)
I have been so busy spring cleaning my home, I feel a busy as bee lately! I have not had the chance to get on here to post and took few minutes of my day to share some of the changes that has happened in the last three weeks. I lost my jobs three weeks ago, which I feel it was meant to be from my HP to take care of me a...
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NavySealWife
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3
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358
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Boundaries .. (again)
(Preview)
My STBAX has been running amuck over my boundaries and thankfully I've been able to continually take small steps back .. I feel as if I have opened the door to take a small peak outside and he's thrust his leg through the door and will not let me shut it. I feel unsafe. I don't like to feel that I have no co...
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SerenityRUS
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10
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531
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only I can make things crazier
(Preview)
I know that when things are crazy I know it pretty much has to be me. The way I handle situations is up to me. I have issues w/ my mom from as far back as I can remember. The only thing is my parents were together long enough that we had a fairly good life. I do remember times when it seemed like she(my mom) was a go...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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461
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Day 2 - No Cigarettes
(Preview)
Oh I feel wonderful. Day 2 hip hip hooray.
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Truth
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8
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578
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Inventory and amends are
(Preview)
done. The inventory is very revealing. I think I know and know that I know and then the inventory reveals much more (often much much more). The inventory revealed all of the motivations for my rant...where I came from in the disease; yeppers, The freaking bank that brought down our financial hom...
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Jerry F
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9
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429
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Candy Bars and nonsense ..
(Preview)
Ok .. if you like Almond Joy, Mounds, or Whatchamacallits, you have been warned to stop reading right now. It will get ugly and you probably won't ever look at a candy bar the same way. My STBAX has an open FB page that I honestly don't think he knows is open and I choose NOT to look for two reasons .. I...
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SerenityRUS
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11
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517
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spouse of acoa
(Preview)
I am knew to this. My grandfathers were both Alcoholics but my parents were not. But I have heard alot from them what they went through as kids. But they seem to have worked through it. My husband is an ACOA his father drank alot when he was growing up and is starting to drink again. My husband has never deal...
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spouseofacoa
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9
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571
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getting through life w/o having a fit!
(Preview)
My prayers are being answered. I am not so sad as I was last Saturday. I am taking my time & enjoying another lovely Spring day! It rains often here so I need to enjoy the weather while I can. I have to admit that I wanted to have another fit recently. I didn't but my husband did. He totally spilled some ch...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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287
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So, I will be going back with my dad.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I have decided that in order to save some money for my home purchase I will take my dad upon his offer and live with him while I search. I feel it's best for me and my needs. I don't know what to think. I am nervous, but I have the tools to de...
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slogan_jim
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5
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338
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Went to a party...
(Preview)
A pity party and now I am hung over. It occurred to me to shut the hell up and then there was some news about how my family is "coming along" (that isn't about a success story...not in this disease) and that fueled my oration...motivation. Crap!! that voice in my head which was suggestin...
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Jerry F
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16
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555
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Busy but its all good
(Preview)
So, I had some good news last week about the community outreach project we work on in our spare time. The specifics aren't important but it's all good. I have to devote some more time to it, though. so if you don't see me that much its not because I disappeared again. I'm just busy.
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Wolfie55
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2
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211
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In Need of Prayers
(Preview)
My boyfriend was just in a bicycle accident and is now in a coma. Right now I am still in shock. I am looking toward my Higher Power for guidance. Please please pray for him/send positive thoughts etc... Thank you to everyone who has assisted me in the past. My annoyance with his symptoms of alcoho...
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Jenn86
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10
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278
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Breathalyzer question
(Preview)
My AH and I have been separated for the past 3 months. We set up an arrangement that when he is going to be with the kids(10 & 7), he must breathalyze before & after the visit. If he blows positive before the visit, he does not get to be with the kids. If he blows positive on the back end, he looses h...
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Tossed Salad
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12
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2440
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Elborating on a topic ..
(Preview)
Someone asked me to share a little more ESH in terms of dealing with the keen alcoholic mind. This is strictly my journey and while it should be clear cut .. it's amazing how twisted my own mind can get in dealing with my stbax. I spent a lot of time trying to get him to think like I do. First off, thank you G...
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SerenityRUS
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8
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501
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Prayers and Support
(Preview)
Well.. this really isn't the holiday any of us would have expected. My bf dad died during the night. The family and his doc had determined that he needed long term care about three weeks ago. There are lots of feelings of guilt now that bf's mom and siblings are experience. I'm trying to be supportiv...
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tiredtonite
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11
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387
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easy does it
(Preview)
Todays odat, 'when I cant accomplish all id like to, when im confronted with reverses and nothing seems to work right, il just remember easy does it. Some how it guides me into a less hectic frame of mind. Changing to a more comfortable rhythm smooths out the bumps. ' 'When im trying to hard to change thin...
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el-cee
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6
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262
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An Easter Blessing
(Preview)
Today, spring and Easter bring their blessings of hope, renewal and transformation to my life. Since it was sunny and warmer, I chose to peek out my garage access door at the flowers blooming, trees budding, and little critters running in my yard. I looked at my red butterfly bird feeder into which I...
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grateful2be
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8
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241
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Happy Easter
(Preview)
Happy Easter All It is a very grateful day for me this year. I am grateful to have my son alive and safe in place where he can't hurt himself. I'm grateful for everything I have learn and practiced over this last couple of years. I am grateful to be able to sit here happy that I'm not in worry or fear and I can...
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Cathyinaz
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6
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265
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Easter, religion and faith
(Preview)
Happy Easter everyone, mine has been spent so far, watching 5 episodes of The Mentalist, which I NEVER sit still this long; doing some dishes, drinking more coffee than I usually have time for and enjoying the silence, well, sort of silence, birds and the cold-induced ringing in my ears aside. One of m...
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likemyheart
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6
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499
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Rantings, Rumblings, and New Beginnings Pt. 1 ;)
(Preview)
Hi everybody! Here we all are again on this fine day, and I hope you all are having a great Sunday. Many people are celebrating Easter and I have many fond memories of hunting for those sneaky eggs;) As I've gotten older and my kids are grown, this has turned into a more reflective time, and I usually find m...
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Raven Juniper
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6
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576
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Control
(Preview)
I have realized that what I am trying to control is all of the people who want to control me into being who they want me to be. Confusing, right?! Like, wait...let me read that sentence again. When you're a people-pleaser your whole life, it's not comfortable to a lot of people when we stop. THIS is really...
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WorkingThroughIt
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12
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522
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Happy Easter….
(Preview)
Wishing my MIP family Happy Easter with this picture of Springtime here in Italy...
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milkwood
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9
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221
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Happy Easter
(Preview)
I am working twelve hour shifts today and tomorrow so happy Easter and I hope your days are peaceful. -- Edited by Wolfie55 on Sunday 20th of April 2014 03:09:55 AM
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Wolfie55
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7
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298
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Need suggestions on how to handle the anxiety
(Preview)
I am having so much trouble getting control of my anxiety. I know I cannot control my AS, but it causes me so much anxiety knowing he is using. he thinks I don't know but it is obvious. Not worrying about the what if's seems impossible for me today. any advise would be greatly appreciated.
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Sallygcoe
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10
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402
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Tolerated, but not celebrated.
(Preview)
Hi guys, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Recently Ive been examining my relationships with people and the ones that make me unhappy. I asked why they were making me so unhappy and what it was about them that left me wanting more internally. Then one day I saw a saying that went B...
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slogan_jim
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1
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348
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so sad...
(Preview)
I am very down this morning. I don't feel much like talking to anyone but I do want to share on here. I am going through a lot of trials in my life right now. I thought that I was doing OK for awhile but now it seems that things are going terribly wrong. I can't seem to shake the sadness. I have already shared mos...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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414
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Violated RO stocking order
(Preview)
Yesterday I decided to go to a hotel I wasn't feeling safe at home plus I needed do some paper work for housing Medicaid exc. I left the hotel to get something to eat and left my phone at the hotel . My AH sober 18 months shows up at the hotel and see my car there . The only way he would of known that is he was snoopi...
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Wisdom67
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8
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557
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Happy Easter (again) and other thoughts ..
(Preview)
Well, I'm beyond excited after 5 years of either no internet service, .. crappy internet service I am finally able to go and have REAL internet service and I broke down and got cable to go with it. I may have to rethink that idea after a few months at least though for today we have it .. lol. I hate spending...
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SerenityRUS
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1
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384
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